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Related AF
It started as two sisters talking out loud on the gym treadmills.
Related AF is where opinions get aired, ideas get poked, and nothing is rushed toward a takeaway. We talk culture, confidence, habits, nostalgia, and the everyday things that shouldn’t matter — but somehow do.
No advice.
No alignment.
Just thinking out loud.
Pull up a chair.
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Stay if you want.
Related AF
The Karma Bucket Theory
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Somewhere between luck, karma, and accidentally stealing an $8 crystal ring, we came up with a theory.
We talk about karma, participation, scarcity, abundance, and why the energy you put into the world might matter more than you think.
Also: unicorn crystals, video game morality, and why apparently you have to play the game.
Love that for us.
Unicorn Crystal And A Riff
KellyI bought a unicorn crystal in Sedona.
KristinLike, is it actually called a unicorn crystal or do you call it?
KellyNo, it's called a unicorn crystal. It's like three different stones that all grew together.
KristinAnd what does it do?
KellyI don't know. I don't have my phone.
SPEAKER_00Does unicorn things?
KellyIt's just called a unicorn crystal, so I bought it. Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_00Fair enough. Fair enough. Read the fair enough.
KristinOkay, so I guess we just set, I don't know, set the scene. Because I like to set scenes. I don't know why. But we just picked a word and we're just gonna like riff on the word. Like, what are we doing?
SPEAKER_02That's what we always do.
KristinWe don't always do anything. Always do that.
KellyWhen have we not done that? Last time? That was one word. No, it was questions. Oh, that was questions, but that's different because it was a holiday week. It was a holiday week. So we did something easy. But we don't we we do sometimes. Questions is a word always. Questions is one word. It was questions.
KristinThat's not, but we didn't like riff on the word questions. We can do that now. I don't want to. Okay. No, I mean, okay, but it's I'm just asking, is that what we're doing? We're just we're we're we're talking karma. Karma. Or are we talking space?
KellyThose are very different things. I would talk space. Like space, universe space? No, just space. Yeah, the word space or the word karma. You pick one.
KristinAlright, let's do karma.
Karma Vs Luck Explained
KellyKarma.
KristinYeah. I have terrible karma. I feel like I have terrible karma.
KellyYou have terrible karma. Karma is different than like luck.
KristinI mean, is it though? Because like, why would you be unlucky if you didn't if you had good karma? If you had good karma, you would be lucky.
KellyNo, being unlucky and and having karma are two very different things.
KristinI don't think so.
KellyYou can be unlucky. You can not win the lottery, but you could still navigate life through karma.
KristinYeah, but I mean like I don't know if winning the lottery is luck.
KellyIt's 100% luck.
KristinNo, no, no.
KellyBut I meant like it's not skill.
KristinNo, but I meant like as in like life luck. That's different than gambling.
KellyIt's also different than karma.
KristinOkay, I agree. Okay, well, explore that. What do you mean? Why?
KellyKarma is the energy in my mind.
KristinOkay, and so Kelly's.
KellyKelly's head canon. Karma is the energy that you put out into the world fills one of two buckets. The good bucket or the bad bucket. And then those buckets are the things that you end up getting back. It's like the mirror of the universe to your own actions versus gambling. I've never won anything.
KristinThat can't be true.
KellyThat's true.
KristinCan't be true. You have to won something.
KellyNo, never. You know what I won once? I was, but this isn't isn't luck. It was skill. But you still won. No, hold on, wait. My teacher in like sixth grade had this. We're going deep. Jar of candy. And we were supposed to guess how much candy was in the candy thing, and the person who got closest won the jar of candy. She didn't take off the label on the candy thing, and it said like 173 pieces. And while it was different candy than the original candy that had been in the jar, I put down 173 pieces because that seemed logical. And so I won it. That's not luck, that's skill, because all the other doofuses didn't bother to read the label on the jar.
KristinBut it's really funny though, because you didn't learn anything, because you don't read anything anymore.
KellyNo. No, but I am perceptive. It's perception. It's not reading. Perception.
KristinMaybe that's why you haven't won anything since sixth grade.
KellyI don't win lottoes. I don't win raffles. I don't win anything. I don't win. I don't win anything.
KristinI honestly don't think I've ever won.
KellyI could be the only person in the hat and they still wouldn't pull out my name.
KristinI don't, yeah, no. I'm not lucky. Lucky either at all.
KellyBut I do have good karma. Because I put out because I put out good karma.
KristinI don't know what kind of karma.
KellyI think you have good karma. You don't trust karma.
KristinI think I'm not zero. Like, not good, not bad.
KellyYou have to believe in it too, though. If you don't believe.
KristinI mean, do I not believe in karma? Like I feel like I believe in karma. I just don't feel like my I don't feel like karma applies to you.
KellyIn your own karma. Yeah, why, why?
KristinI don't know. It's an introspective question that like I don't know if I like I would have to step outside of myself to find that answer. Go ahead. Well, and I can't do that like right now, right here.
KellyYou can do it.
KristinI don't feel like it though. No, but I mean like I I don't I don't know. I just don't feel like karma is like a thing.
KellyDo you feel like you put out energy into the world? Or do you feel like you sort of I don't know what keeping karma like because I put out energy into the world actively, like I I I make a point of well I don't know.
KristinI mean I I guess it's a better question for you though, because you're not me. Do I put out energy into the world? I don't know if you do. I don't think I do. No, I think I keep it to myself, yeah, pretty much.
Participation And Energy Exchange
KellyAnd people don't really ask you for things, like the at people ask me for things and they also bug me, and but you don't get either of those things, really. No, but it's probably because of my energy exchange with the universe. I wow, I I feel like I'm hitting on something.
KristinYeah, I mean, I don't feel like I put nothing.
KellyI'm not like a you're not a black hole of you know, you're not an energy vampire.
KristinI maybe you know what it it might be. I think I'm just like light bulb moment participation. I don't participate.
KellyYou don't participate.
KristinI don't, I've never been a participation person.
KellyYou don't participate in anything.
KristinNo, I don't like it to my detriment. Like I'm not like flaunting that. It's in like it's a cool thing. I'm just saying, like, I don't, I'm not a participator. No, not in anything. I'm a show upper. Like, I'll show you. You show up, but I don't participate. Wow, maybe maybe we just solve the karma issue.
KellyYeah, because you just you'll be there. Yeah, sometimes not. Sometimes you'll just leave.
KristinYeah, yeah. Because I'm not participating.
KellyI feel like you've started participating more in yoga. Do I? Or I'm you just show up. I'm just a show upper. You show up to book club, you show up to class. Yeah. You showed up to sound bath.
KristinYeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I just show up.
KristinBut I don't feel like I have bad vibes, though. You know what I mean? Like I don't feel like I bring bad vibes. But I don't know if you bring vibes. Maybe not anymore. I think, I mean, I didn't always used to be like that, right? I don't think so. I mean, I had friends. I don't think people used to call me like hangout and stuff.
KellyI don't know if it has anything to do with friends either, though. I think that's a different energy. Oh my goodness. We hit on something deep. You think so? How do you feel about that?
KristinI don't know. I mean, I feel like it should change. But I wouldn't know how. Like, I don't like know I don't know how to participate. I just show up. Like, is that participating? Showing up?
KellyBeing there.
KristinYeah, okay. Yeah, that's true.
KellyYou have to like because then you have to expend energy, positive or negative.
KristinYeah. You have to I'm not a small talker, and I think unfortunately, I end all conversations before they stop. Like, I don't give anybody anything to respond to. And like I know that. This is true. This is very true.
SPEAKER_04I've never even thought about any of this before, but it's really true. I mean, yeah, I I I'm self-aware at least.
KristinLike, I know, I know what my problems are. Well, is it a problem? I mean, I think it is. I think it is. Like, like on a large scale, I think it's it wouldn't be a problem if you could turn it off. If you could turn it off and on when you wanted to, right? If you could just show up when you wanted to show up, but like if you for me, like I've forgotten how to participate. Like, I don't know how to participate. Like, I don't know how to put energy into something.
KellyI'm a natural introvert. I am not an extrovert by any means. And I think that I have to expend a lot of energy to have my current my current social form be something that's ongoing. And I hit a wall. Like at some point I I can't be on anymore, and I just need to go into my house and be introverted by myself.
KristinI don't know if I'm an introvert or an extrovert. I definitely know when I was younger I was an extrovert. Like I got more energy from being around people, but I also think that's also to do with like you were out of the house by the time mom and dad were divorced. And you weren't living with like people who weren't your family. Like I spent a lot of my high school in a house where I didn't want to be there.
KellySo I was out and then moving around.
KristinAnd moving around. But I didn't want to be in the house. So I was more out in like so, but now I'm the opposite. You're more extroverted now than you used to be.
KellyYeah, because I have to spend a lot of energy on it though. Like three days in Sedona by day three, we didn't go to that wolf thing because there were people out in the lobby who were talking about going, and I was like, I don't want to go anywhere with those people and talk to them. And I don't want to be told that I have to participate in a medicine circle. All I want to do is put wolf dogs. You didn't participate in a medicine circle? Yeah, that also what is a medicine circle? I don't know, and I don't want to know. After three days of being on, like talking to people in restaurants, talking to people in crystal shops, talking, like being on, I was I was done with it. I just wanted to hike and not talk to anybody. Everyone in Sedona is so nice, and they all talk and they're all genuine about it. There's a lot of shopkeepers who I'm not sure. Oh, yeah, I mean it's like the real color or something.
KristinOr like a steamboat.
KellyYeah, like everybody like healingly like talks. And so when you go into the art galleries, you go into the crystal shops, everyone's just talking to you.
KristinYeah.
KellyAnd by a certain point, I was like, I've I'm talked out. I'm out of talking.
KristinYeah, see, I I think that's where I never I never start talking. I don't, I just don't do small talk. Which is bad. It's a bad thing. Like I'm I'm I'm not like I said, I'm I'm noticing this about myself like right now. But you can talk to people you know. I can talk to people I don't know. I just don't do it. Like it's not like I don't know how to make small talk. I'm I do. I do. I just don't. I like don't know what to say. Beyond like, how are you? You know what I mean?
KellySo someone asks you that first.
KristinHow how am I?
KellyYeah.
KristinYeah, I'd be like, cool. And then they don't then they don't say anything, and then that con then then the the the whole thing ends. It's so true. But you know, I guess though, it's a problem that a lot more people probably have than what I realize.
Trauma, Small Talk, And Safety
KristinBut I think it's also a very singular problem where like going through like a like a trauma of like like when David, who was my husband, passed away, you kind of keep everything to yourself because you make other people uncomfortable with like like there is no small talk. Like there was a couple years where like I didn't say people what was going on so that they didn't ask me what was going on, so then we didn't have to have any sort of awkward at landing conversations. Like, like I'm just realizing this now. Like maybe I just turn my small talk off because I tried to just kind of not participate because people ask you probing questions, and then and then when you answer them, it's like, do you lie and make everybody comfortable? But then you're uncomfortable because you're sitting there having to lie about stuff, you know, or do you tell the truth and make everybody else uncomfortable because they asked which should be normal questions? Either way, exactly. So, like, let's just not, you know? Like, I I wonder that could have been it. Like I think that could have been it. Like, that could have been the button that was like pushed, but now I have to unpush the button. Unpush the button. I don't, I don't how do you do it? You just start talking.
KellyOh god, what do you say?
KristinLike, besides cool.
KellyI mean, you you can talk to like Kaylee.
KristinYeah, I can talk. Well, I talk to Kaylee a time. I'm not a mute, like I talk to people. I I talk to Pain Daddy, I talk to I talk to Kaylee, I talk to everybody. Like, I mean, I talk to people, I talk to people at work. I just don't know how to like project the energy out in the world that like you can come to. I think I've projected energy of like don't talk to me or don't.
KellyI don't know if you project that energy or if it truly is the non-participation energy.
KristinOh, like I don't want to talk to you. I don't want to participate, I don't want to be here. You're you're you are there.
KellyI'm just there. Yeah, you're just there.
unknownThat's like really sad.
KristinIt's actually better, it's actually better than the other one.
KellyIt's better than the other energy. It's better than saying I'm the person that doesn't want to talk to you. I think that's an easier dial to turn up because you're not at zero, you're at five. If it's zero to ten, you're right in the middle.
KristinBut yeah, but I'm like I'm like cellophane. You're like, you're just like you're like a ghost who just kind of like wades around people.
unknownYes.
KristinThat's sad. You're supposed to say no.
SPEAKER_04That's easier than being a poltergeist who's like throwing books at people's heads.
KristinNo, I think that's even I think that's better than just being a non-entity. At least you're getting some attention. You I mean, at least you're you're doing things, you know?
KellyBut you could, but it's an easier dial to turn up because you only have to turn it up a little bit. A little bit.
KristinYeah. Do you think that people who have large buckets of karma, you know? Do you think that those are the people who take up more space in the world?
KellyLike the people that you notice. No. No, I don't think so. I think karma is the energy you put out into the world. I think you can be a person of regular space. And still have and like have a big like big karma either way.
KristinOkay.
KellyBecause you could be a terrible person and put terrible energy out into the world, and you have a big old bucket of you.
SPEAKER_05Yeah.
KellyAnd then you could be a great person and you could do lots of great things, but in a very quiet way in your own little small bubble, and I think you can have a large karmic bucket of goodness.
KristinYeah, that's true. So, like, how do you put more energy into things? Like, if you're in a net zero karma and you're just cruising along on the net zero karma highway.
KellyI will smile at people, and which is a really difficult thing for me out in the world.
KristinYeah.
KellyI look up and I smile because I have to in order to make my stomach want to empty itself. It makes mine too, but I've trained that muscle. Or like you know what's so funny. I look up, I look up at people, I look around. You're talking about eye contact. Oh, but you have to do those things. I know I say random things to random, like, oh, the craft macaroni and cheese is like three times more than it used to be. Her, you know, like whatever. Or like I've ever said that.
SPEAKER_04Have you ever said that to anyone?
KellyI like your shirt.
KristinI like I do that. Like, oh, you have nice nails, or oh, I like your shoes, whatever.
KellyBut I say it's a random people first before I even before I'm in an interaction with them. I'll see a random person in the grocery store and it'd be like, I love your shirt. I have a hard time with eye contact.
KristinI usually do well with strangers. I shouldn't say like it's not, I'm not like I'm not like staring off into space when people are talking to me, but like with strangers, like like walking in like a grocery store and like making eye contact with people is so weird. It's so weird. But you have to. Oh.
KellyYou have to.
KristinI do have to point out though, that like there are interactions in life that you go through that make it hard to want to participate with random strangers. There's like people who who take too much liberty with like, oh, just because I'm smiling and like looking at eye level doesn't give you the right to say and do whatever you want in my space. Right? Like, give me an example. Well, like like people who are too friendly. More specifics.
KellyLike people who who tell me a story.
SPEAKER_04No, just like people. I don't want to tell you a story. I just tell me a story.
KellyTell me the story to participate in this conversation.
KristinNo.
SPEAKER_04I'm sorry I brought it up.
unknownI'm just gonna go to the back of the room.
SPEAKER_04Say cool. That's all I'm gonna do. Tell me a story. No, no, no.
KristinI just mean that like a story. No, I just like there's some people in the world that you don't want to invite in.
KellyBut yeah, you just shut your face off. I don't invite those people in, like serial killers.
KristinNo, but yeah. I mean, yes, they're they're part of the group, but also just like no, but like people who want to hit on you or people who want to like I don't know, like follow you around when you're like walking downtown and like yell at you and stuff. You know what I mean? Like you don't want their attention.
KellyI don't think I invite that. I don't put any energy.
SPEAKER_04Yes, you do. No, I do. Remember?
KristinYes, we used to. We used to remember when people would follow us around and they'd be like, smile more. No, no, but I smile.
KellyI don't I don't participate in that.
KristinNo, that's what I'm saying. Is I'm afraid that everyone's like that.
KellyThey're not.
KristinI know, but I'm afraid that they are.
KellyOkay, so you know what? You know what I've also just now realized right in this moment? What? I have started participating more in the world in the ways that I have told you. And I that happens less.
KristinWell, no, I think it's also that we just don't live in a down. Oh, we're all suburbia. Yeah.
KellyDon't leave my house. See, there's ways around that. There's ways around it. You just don't go anywhere.
KristinNo, but I guess I guess what I'm trying to say is that like those types of interactions, you feel like they're all gonna be that way. And they're not, they're not, they're not all gonna be that way.
KellyBut you just like it's like Target in suburban Arizona, it's not gonna happen.
KristinUh I just like like making small talk. You don't have to make small talk with everybody. It just makes me shudder. It makes me shudder. But that's what you have to get past. I don't I understand.
KellyBecause looking people in the eye and smiling makes me literally want to vomit. I know, but I do it and I've gotten better at it.
KristinNo, I know. I know I am not fighting for staying in a space where you're kind of an island, right? You're just kind of floating around out there and like you could be there or not be there, and like either way is cool, right? Because you're not participating. Like, I don't think that that's a good way to live. And I don't think it's a good way to build community around yourself. And I don't think it leads to a fulfilling or happy existence. I'm just saying it's very hard to build the bridge from the island over to the mainland
Competitiveness And Scarcity Mindset
Kristinagain.
KellyDo you remember when Uncle Pete wanted to teach us how to play tennis? And you were on the one side of the net and I was on the other side of the net, and I was running for all of the balls, hitting them over to your side, and you just stood there and put your racket out. So I had nobody to play against.
KristinBut I well, but I think I'll always be like that. I mean, like, there's some parts of your personality, like, I'm never gonna run for the ball. But that's part of participating.
KellyYou don't have to play tennis, but you might have to play a different sport and run for the ball.
KristinI'm not competitive. Is that the problem? I'm not competitive.
KellyNo, because participating, you don't have to want to win in order to want to play the game.
KristinIt's a part of participating if you're not winning.
KellyYou have to want to win. I am competitive in life. I am not competitive at games. But I love playing games. I'll play sports, I'll play board games, I'll play card games. I don't care if I win or not. I just like to play. Life, get out of my way.
KristinWell, right. And that's how I I think that's a balanced. I'd rather win at life than like Canasta. Canasta, yeah. Rather win at life at the end.
KellyBut I love playing. Yeah, I don't know.
KristinI don't love playing canasta, but I I like playing board games. I think what's missing from the tennis story is that Uncle Pete would yell at us. Like it was like uh it was like we were in a some sort of camp. And like that was his job. You know what I mean? Like like he was a sport teacher, like he was a teacher of sports. So like I get where he was coming from, but like I don't like being told what to do. I think that's the the coaching. It's called coaching. Yeah, I'm not I'm not into that. Not a fan.
SPEAKER_04Not a fan. It's not called teacher's phones. It has to do with coaching, huh? It's the teacher's sports who kept telling me what to do. But we weren't there for that. Remember, you were there to learn how to play tennis. Literally there for that. The only reason to be standing there was to learn to play the building.
KristinActually, I took tennis lessons after that. I did. I did. We did. When we lived in that dearborn condo.
KellyHow did that go?
KristinNot bad. I liked I liked the teacher of the teacher's board.
SPEAKER_04Oh, dumb heart. No, but no, I I just I don't like being yelled at, you know? So yelling. He was, he was yelling. But he wouldn't even let me play with the ball. It was terrible.
KellyHe kept doing racket drills. And I kept saying all I wanted to do is hit the ball back and forth.
SPEAKER_04Yes, exactly. It was horrible. It was not fun.
KellyBut no, it's like when he tried to teach me how to play baseball and he kept throwing the balls right at my face.
SPEAKER_04And I was just saying it's he's like, you're not. And it's like, well, I don't know what kind of teacher's fun to me.
KristinNo, he was a very good coach. And it's just like, no one here's trying to be professional at this point.
KellyI'm never gonna be.
KristinI just wanna like hit it with my racket, and then she hits it with her racket, and then we probably start over again. Like we don't, it doesn't have to be like a match, you know? Like, oh man, that's funny. Teacher of sports. But no, I like I'm I'm not I I do think, but I do think being like competitive, like health, like it's healthy. Yeah, being competitive is healthy. I don't think that you should be in a space where you're but I mean, I don't know though. There are people who are like this and they and they do win at life. Like the people who like have to win at everything. Like if they're if they're at a foot race, they have to win the football. I don't think they win at life. I don't know. I'm I'm sure there are ultra competitive people out there that do very well. But I think they're stressed out. I don't know how they couldn't be. I mean, like I'm so not compatible, like I'm so on the other side, I can't even imagine what they feel like. I don't even know what that feels like. I have no idea. Because I'm the person that'll just put my racket out and let the ball go by. And the teacher of sports will yell at me.
unknownIt's okay.
KellyI mean, I'm a kind of I I think I used to be more towards the competing at a lot of things, probably not everything. And I've come definitely more towards the middle. I'm happy with where I am, so I don't need to compete as much. And also being competitive is very stressful. I compete with myself. I want to be better than I was yesterday. I want to be better than I was last year. I want to do better than I'm doing. There's a new goalpost, but I don't need someone else's goalpost anymore, which I think is important.
KristinWe got off karma though, pretty hard. We got off topic.
KellyNo, I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so. It all comes back around because I think that all of that is the energy you're putting into the world. When you're competing with other people, you're putting a lot of bad vibes out. And not that you can't compete with other people, but when you're competing with other people for the wrong reasons, when you're competing with other people all the time, the energy that you're putting out into the world fills starts to fill up that semi-negative bucket because you're making other people feel bad. You're competing with other people who aren't asking to be competed with. There is that energy exchange is a active thing that you're doing, but it won't come back to you in a way that you didn't put anything good out, really. You know?
KristinYeah. No, I I I get you. And I think that it's one of those things where it can definitely bounce back and hit you because all of the feelings that you feel towards other people, just by feeling them, can turn them inward and feel them about yourself. Like when you see people who are down on other people, most likely they are also down on themselves because your brain is trained to think in those things. Right. So you like you would turn it in on yourself.
KellyAnd you start competing in a lot of ways that don't matter. Like that person has different things than me.
KristinOr that person think that though, that like karma puts things in your path. Like the universe. The universe puts things in your path, yeah. You know? And I think it's interesting the thought of like there are people who grab those things, and then there are people like me who are kind of scared to grab those things. And I don't know, I mean, maybe it's just me, but I have to believe that other people feel that anxiety as well of like, I can't, like, do I deserve this?
SPEAKER_02Oh, a lot of people feel that. You know what I mean? Like, like I do I deserve to take this? Do I deserve, like, if I take this, is something bad going to happen because I didn't deserve it to begin with.
KristinLike, I I just think that's a it's an interesting anxiety that that plays out in in your life. But you should, you should take things that are there for you. You should take things that are there for you. Yeah, the universe put them there for you. It's okay to take it.
KellyYes, and as long as you appreciate it and respect it and give back, and I'm not talking about like charity, I'm talking about just like give back good energy, then your karma bucket, I feel, stays neutral. Like you get things, you get to expel sometimes the fuck you dudes. Sometimes you're putting energy out.
KristinWell, and I think I think there is also the flip side. There are bad things that happen to everybody. There are bumps in the road, there are crappy situations that you can find yourself in and you can lose things too.
KellyAnd that's not always karma. Most of the time, that's just life.
KristinBut I think the karma comes from how you deal with it.
KellyYes.
KristinRight? And I do feel like maybe like the better karma you have, the better the things are that come your way. The universe will set positive things in your path.
KellyI think it's a little bit more the more you participate, the more you see. It's not necessarily that you get more because you give more. I think because you're out there observing more, viewing more, participating more, you then see, take, use.
KristinWell, your eyes are open to the possibilities and things that are out in front of you, and you're more aware. It's a very comforting and positive way to live your life. I mean, like, like what's the alternative that you just think like everything's crap and I'm just gonna sit here and be negative. You know, you know what I mean. Like it's a better way to live your life to know that like the universe has put all of these things in front of you. You just have to see them.
KellyYeah. And that you do deserve to take some of them. Yes. And also that there are some things that it's okay to give away.
KristinYes. Or lose.
SPEAKER_02Or lose.
KristinBecause there's more out there. Like there's an abundance, it's not a scarcity. There's not a scarcity of things that can happen for you, like like good things that can happen for you. You can lose one thing and then gain another better thing.
KellyAnd I think that's the that's sort of that hyper competitiveness, and not like hyper competitive sports. Like if you're an athlete and you're competing, I think that's a game. That's a game. You're competing against people who also want to compete. That's a different kind of hyper competitiveness. I'm talking about the hyper competitiveness in all aspects of life. Sure. That is, I think, a a narrow focus on there are only so many things. And if I I need to take all of the things because there are only so many, I think that is a a view I had for a very long time. I deserve that. If I don't get it, then what am I gonna do?
KristinI have to sit here and just be this, like like there's nothing else there's nothing besides that prize.
KellyAnd when you flip, when you sort of open that aperture and start to see more, you start to see like there's all kinds of promotions, there's all kinds of job paths, there's all kinds of stuff that I even even relationships, there's all kinds of people out there to have relationships with. Like, I mean, you know, it's not like if I can't that person didn't like me, right? All these other people do.
KristinBut I don't, but it's so true.
KellyIt's true, it's so true, and it's like a mind trap that you can get caught in, you know? And then that's when it becomes alienating because then when you say, if this person who is my friend or good acquaintance or whatever, this person that I have good vibes with got this thing, you become jealous, yeah, and then you alienate yourself, you put bad energy towards that person out into the world when you could just say, good for them.
unknownYeah.
KellyThere's lots of things for me. We will all succeed together.
KristinYes. Yes. There's enough.
KellyThere's enough.
KristinThere's enough out there for everyone to have a good life. I don't have to wish other people to have a bad life so I can have a good life. Right. Yes.
KellyBecause it's very stressful. Because I know because I live that way, it's a very stressful way to live when you think there's only one thing.
KristinWell, then you start to sabotage other people. Other people, but then you uh it ends up just sabotaging yourself. Yeah. Um a hundred percent. Yeah.
Integrity Tests And Paying The Ring
KellySo this week in Sedona, I was in a crystal shop. I I had a ring on, a rose quartz ring that I was wearing around because they said wear things. See how they fit you.
KristinSee, oh, okay, so you didn't own this thing, you were just wearing it in a store.
KellyI picked it out of the jar and I put it on to see if A if it fit. Because there's a ring. B because it was on my finger and I had my hands full of other stuff. And so I bought all the other stuff and I still had the ring on. And I walked out the door and I felt it. And then that was a split second where I was like, oh, I could just walk out and not pay for this $8 ring. And then my um immediately I was like, A, no, this is a crystal shop, and I don't need that kind of karma. Even my bucket's not that big. And B, I'm not that person. I'm not gonna do that. I'm gonna turn around and I'm going to pay my eight dollars for this ring.
KristinI think it's it's one of those things like, I don't know if somebody has said this before, if I got it from somewhere. Like, I'm sure it's a quote from somewhere, whatever. But I always think it's like who you are as a person is how you act at 10 p.m. at a red light.
KellyI don't even understand. Oh, like you can go on a red light.
KristinThere's no one around. You can turn left whenever you want to and not hit a single soul. But you're just you're not that person. Yeah. You know, and I mean, like, that's an extreme situation. And like I I understand that, like, it's not apples to apples, but it's like who it's not an extreme situation because everyone's been at a red light at 10 p.m. Right. And it's like, do you do you skirt around things or do you do the right thing?
unknownRight.
KristinRight. Like, it's not that much longer to just wait for it to turn green. It doesn't hurt you. It doesn't cost you anything but time to do the right thing. You know. But but you know what I'm saying? It's like, it's when no one's watching you, are you still doing the right thing? Right. Like just because you didn't get caught doesn't mean you shouldn't be doing it.
KellyI could have walked out with that ring. Yeah. But then, you know what? A, I would have had to deal with that karma. Taking that good karma out of that bucket and sticking it in the bad karma bucket. I don't want that. If I take good karma out of the good karma bucket, I want it to be flung and then my bucket's just a little empty. I don't ever want to take good karma and stick it in the bad karma bucket, because that's when you get in trouble. And B, that ring which now makes me feel very good.
KristinWould have made you feel bad.
KellyWould have made me feel bad.
KristinYeah.
KellyAnd so then I would have had this constant reminder of being a bad person.
KristinDo you think that's how, like, um, you know how people will say, like, there's certain objects or things that are unlucky? Like cursed? Yeah, like cur, yes, cursed. Do you think that's how things get cursed?
KellyMaybe.
KristinThat's an interesting theory. Like they started out in the world with all this bad karma. That's why I don't show it goodwill.
KellyI don't do other people's juju. Like, I don't have secondhand karma. I can't go into a secondhand shop and find fucking anything.
KristinThat's not true. We found that Ralph Lauren gigantic. Remember that gigantic. I know, I know you hate this because it reminds you.
KellyWell, you don't know because then it got broken.
KristinI mean, it did. It it did. It did.
KellyBut someone stood on it. Who's not in this room? Someone stood on it. And broke it like a friggin' heathen. So I'm not gonna consider that.
KristinOkay, I'm sorry I brought it up. But wait though, was that your karma or theirs?
KellyWhat happened to them? It was my karma, clearly. So it was my bad secondhand karma.
KristinYeah. Oh, oh wow. Yep. No, you just proved your point. You can't do it.
KellyI don't have secondhand karma. I can't get things secondhand. That was a beautiful Ottoman. It's a leopard top wicker around it.
KristinRalph Lauren was like $5,000. I mean, it was like a very good find.
KellySo riddle me this. Okay. Oh well, tell me this anyway. Tell me this.
Video Game Morality And Final Takeaways
KellyDo you make the same types of choices in video games that you make in life? Do you steal?
KristinDo you well I mean if that's the game, then yeah. Like if if you're in assassin's creed, yeah, I'm sneaking up behind people. Like I'm I'm an assassin. I'm not gonna play it like a like a non-assassin because I thought that's you're not that's not cool.
KellyBut that's that's the point of the game.
KristinThat's what I'm saying. That's the game. Like, like if it's a thief game, like yeah, I'm stealing things because I'm a thief.
KellyBarring the job of the game.
KristinIf there are choices. I make a good I make the good choices. Like, are you talking like Baldur's Gate and like things that like where you get to kind of pick the morality of your characters?
KellyNot the games on rails.
KristinI don't I don't play immoral characters, if that's what you're saying. I don't play, I don't make immoral choices in fake life either.
KellyYeah, like I have a hard time not playing. Not being fair. Not being fair. I don't always make the good choice. Like, I like I'll I'll You're not a Mary Sue.
KristinYeah, I'm not a Mary Sue, but like I don't think Mary Sue. I think Mary Sue's a very nice name. But I I don't I'm not on the dark side either.
KellyYeah, like I can't steal, I can't, I won't kill an animal.
KristinNo, I can't do that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
KellyI feed that game monster hunter. I've never played that. I thought it was just gonna be like grown-up Pokemon. Well, I you actually have to kill and dismantle these cute little animals. And I was like crying. I was crying five minutes into the game. Like, uh, why would anyone do this? This is awful. Like, I can't stand it.
KristinWhy would anyone play this game? I have a like even in like survival games, I have a hard time like killing the animals, like when you need pelts and stuff to like make things like crafting, like for crafting supplies. I won't do it. Here's a tip for some of the video game makers out there. Just make dead animals that are there that I can just loot, you know? Yeah, but I don't want to. Yeah, I shouldn't. I well, I mean you can, and that's how I get around it, but like I should be able to like come maybe die to natural causes and like I'm just coming across them and and I could just this rabbit died of natural causes. Yes, here you go. Here you go, person who doesn't like to kill animals. Here's one of those things, you know?
KellyBecause I won't do it. I won't I won't get the wolves in Skyrim.
KristinYeah, yeah, no, I have a hard time.
KellyI had to kill the dragons because it's the whole point of the game, and then eat their souls. It was hard for me, but I did it because that's the point of the game. You can't play the game unless you do that. But like any of the other animals, I would run, I would hop on my horse, and we would run the heck out of there before I would take my sword to literally any, or I would die and they would start it over because I wouldn't do it.
KristinBut like, what what do you think that like like what was the question for?
KellyLike, what do you think that says about there are very decent people who I think in even role play, they roleplay, but I don't know how to do that. I don't either. I don't know how to I don't know how to be anyone but me. And I feel like maybe that's not a good thing.
KristinI think it would just feel icky, yeah. I would feel icky. I have a hard time not representing me. But I I I think it would be I sincerely think it would be fun to step out of side of yourself. There has to be benefit to being able to step outside of yourself. Yeah, I would think so. In your own experiences, and like like maybe, maybe maybe people who can do that even in something like a video game or or some sort of like fake atmosphere, maybe they are better risk takers. I don't know. Like, I'm also not I'm not very risky, I'm not risky either. Like, I'm not risky. In that way. And like that is a detriment. Like, I do feel like that is not a detriment, but like there, I don't think you should be too one way or another. You should be able to, like I said, like a switch, turn it on and off.
KellyTurn it on and off and be comfortable with it. Yeah. I think it's again that like I can take things. Like I can, in a video game that has no consequences, steal this book.
KristinOr like, or like be somebody that I wouldn't normally be. Like I like. I think that that should be okay.
KellyIt and it should it should be. It should be is okay. It is okay. Yes. In my in my mind, in myself, in my bubble, right? It's hard for me.
KristinAgain, I've never been anybody but myself.
KellyWell, I think they're all different paths. And that's probably the difference between karma and luck and like manifesting in the universe. All of those things come together to equal your path through life. Now, I think that karma specifically of all those things is your active energy in and out. If you're a shit ass person putting shit ass shit into the world, then your karma, your bit, your bad karma bucket is filling up. And whether you think that's coming back to you or not, it will eventually. And if you're a good person, hopefully more good things will come back to you.
KristinBut that doesn't also, there's luck and there's so you think all those things play together?
KellyThey all play together in my mind.
KristinI mean, I I I mean it makes sense.
KellyIt's one web of stuff. Yeah. It's one big game to navigate.
KristinYeah.
KellyAnd you can navigate those things however you want to.
KristinNo, I like I I agree. I I think that it's it's just one of those things, but I I do think that like if you are having anxiety around even playing the game, you have to play the game. You have to play the game. Whether you want to or not, because you're playing it, whether you actively participate in it or not. You're still playing.
KellyYeah. You can do that.
KristinNo, I but I'm I'm just saying I think that like good karma, bad karma, whatever's gonna come your way, play the game. Play the game. As a moral character, try to try to be try to be one. It's it's okay. I mean, unless you're not unless you're cosplaying. And then then go ahead and cosplay as well. Yeah, whatever.
KellyBecause I I need someone, I need someone to smite. This is true.
KristinWe all we all need someone. We all need some nemesis. So it's alright. Do you and see where you end up? Okay. Makes sense. Like and subscribe. That also makes sense.
KellyAnd it's not, it is not bad karma for us to ask people to like and subscribe. No, did you think it was? You see, some some parts of me really think that like asking for things for that is like icky. I mean, it's it makes me feel icky. I feel icky asking people to do stuff like that. But I can't. I have to. Because I want people.
KristinWell, I think you have to. I mean, I I I believe that it's gen like, I mean, I it is genuine. I don't believe it's genuine. Like it is a gen, it is genuine. So like I I'm okay with it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I'm open to feedback.
KristinI'm not. I'm just learning how to play the game, so just be nice to me, okay? Thank you. Like and subscribe.