Freed But Not Free P-Dub Diagnostics

In this episode of Freed But Not Free Nisaiah explores his inner self and diagnosis the realm of the fake. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:30

Oh. Anybody that know me know it's difficult for me to live in a fake ass world. Like, I'm just saying, like, that's what it is, right? You feel me, right?

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Very difficult for me to like live as like a fake nigga.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Like you feel me? Like it's just difficult, bro. Like difficult. Right.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

And I don't mean I'm the realist nigga.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

It just means that there are those of us in life that like really live a life that's like um too real.

SPEAKER_02 1:09

Right? And I don't really like even getting online, even talking about shit like this. Like, you feel me? I'm saying, because I know that, you know, like we really in a matrix. There's a lot of stuff going on. Like, it's shit going on that like people wouldn't even understand. Like you feel me, I'm saying, like, it's unfathomable. Like, you feel me? Like, people wouldn't even understand what was going on. Like, you know what I'm saying? So I kind of always invoke, like, you know, I'm saying, even when I'm on my business partners, people I do business with, and I be rocking, we all got like, what y'all don't understand, we got like a threshold of like stuff that we're gonna be on. You feel me? Like, while everybody else just going crazy and just looking for uh, you know what I'm saying, like uh the ultimate stream, we only trying to bubble on authenticity and like what's really going on. So tonight, like you know, I'm saying, by accident, but on purpose, I'm gonna give you a dose of the real, right? And if you don't think it's real, that's on you. That's cool. I like bet I'm just a nigga talking. But the people that like honestly understand exactly where I'm at and where I'm coming from, uh I love you too. You feel me? Um in my life I committed crimes that like I probably should have never got out of prison for. None of them was foul. In the sense of the streets. In the sense of like life, you know, it was fire. In the sense of life, they was fire. Like you feel me? In the sense of life, they was foul. Like you feel me. But like in the sense of the streets now, I mean it was probably righteous. Or at the very least, it was something that happened. You feel me? Um I love all my chances at freedom. I love everything that I've ever been able to accomplish outside of like being like a great dad or like uh being present like every day. Like, you know what I'm saying? I I regret that. I wish I could have been around more prison. I was exiled a lot. You feel me? Not only that, outside of like the prison that we talking about in the physical world, like right here, I was locked up a lot. Right here, that was dead. I'm only just now getting around to like feelings and really like understanding exactly what's going on daily enough to interpret it and feel something about it. That's where I'm at now. I'm getting there. Like I was like, it took me 47 years to get there. I opened my eyes about at about 38. So I'm about 10 years into like the epiphany syndrome. And as I sit here, and the only reason why I'm live right now, this is an actual, you know, we got motion episode, but I went live on my own. Like when I'm by myself, it's free but not free. Just so we understand, we got motion is me and Cat Wood, Sunday Cookout is me and Reckless, free but not free is dub. That don't mean I ain't with nobody else. That I mean I ain't interviewing nobody else and then. But whenever you see me just going like this right now, talking, chopping it up, that's just me, free but not free, FB and F, that's me. Right? And usually when you see free but not free, that means I'm probably like about to be on some re-entry recidivism, some type of prison talk. But just understand that, like, without a corporate sponsor, without anything in my life that got that's gonna make me blow up on the internet, I still always will unequivocally be me. Every day I'm forced not to be me in school because I go to college, uh on the internet because you can't be a murderer in real life on the internet. Um, probably like kind of in situations that just everyday life can't really just be like probably who you was raised to be and shit like that, especially if you was raised like where I'm from, or like not even fucked where I'm from, the same kind of streets that I came from, right? And that like, and I want to reiterate the internet be having shit fucked up, like right. I'm not when I talk, it might sound whatever, but that don't mean I'm the toughest. It just means that people that know. And when you came from something that you probably shouldn't survive, and other people didn't survive or get out of prison or whatever, right? It's almost like being in a plane crash, 300 people die, you don't only survivor. It's almost like like survivor's remorse. Right? And understand that um I navigate this internet, I navigate these internet streets for for a bag, for money. I'm hoping to pay off. I'm hoping to also when I'm on the real shit, exonerate or free or uplift some people that look like me, or some people that been through what I've been through, they ain't gotta look like me. Because I understand that race is like more of a social thing. You look at it, you think it's physical, but it's more of like we only hate each other because they told us to, right? And it's so many things that I just kind of been tight-lipped about on this internet because the algorithm, when you talk about it, when you talk about it, you get punished, you get penalized, right? The algorithm penalized you to where that message don't resonate and don't get out. Sorry about that, it don't get out so it can't resonate.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

And just understand, man, that like as a man that's been locked up.

SPEAKER_02 6:20

I look today I talked to like the other day, some shabbing on the internet. I did my own synopsis on what happened on the internet. Some comments was made that, like, come on, bro. Comments was like, that's how you seen it. Then I gotta sit back and go like, was that just the internet? Did the internet want that to be an issue? You feel me? I'm saying, was the internet trying to see if I was gonna bite the hook, right? Or is that really how another man felt? Because if another man felt like that in my world, it was like, damn, bro, you didn't like get the message. I thought you was like, I thought we was brethren, I thought we was like alumni, like you know, I thought we was like frat brothers, like we came from the same shit. Only those that have been there understand it and know. But then the internet either made a nigga misinterpreted, or um the internet was trying to give me the bite on some bullshit, right? And I'm never gonna be a man that's gonna take any of my air out type offenses where uh murder, death, or killing, or or or any kind of violence will take place. I would never talk about it here. Like I would never like announce it or or threaten it or put it out there, right? I might come to this motherfucker and push an agenda of I'm purging my soul because I'm stressing, or um, I'm selling this product or these marshals, whatever it is I'm doing, right? Other than that, bro, like anything real, you can't really put it out there when you speak the real shit like this. Don't get no views, no followers, nobody tapping online. Shit like this, the algorithm already knows I'm about to say some shit that you don't like that you need to hear, but that you won't even you won't even it won't even work for you. Won't even work for you. I'm about to say, like the algorithm knows that as I'm even speaking, like how many of you speaking to your phone, but you're not talking to your phone, and when you talk to it, exactly what you thought comes like on the phone, whatever you was talking about, somehow on the other line could say the algorithm is flesh and blood, bro. Like, if there's ever a resistance, a couple of my videos is gonna be within the clips of like this is why you should join a resistance, whenever it really goes down, right? Like me and uh my co-host was gonna talk about the rallying points of uh whether it's the zombie apocalypse, whatever apocalypse, like what did you do? Does anybody have their plans in place of like when it pops off, when it's going down, where you gonna meet as your gas tank full? Do you got water? Um, if if if cards and electronic electronics is out, do you got physical currency? Do you got stuff that you that would be would be able to trade and border? Like you know what I'm saying? Where are you ready to go? Are you ready to move on? Right? That was supposed to be a segment, right? And the algorithm knows that those segments are so important that we said that a week ago, but that's probably something that might be pertinent, like within the next like you feel me, right? And in my life, my life be so authentic. I be going through bouts of survivor's remorse. I'll be going through bouts of I don't know what the fuck it is. You feel me? But then sometimes stuff happens in life where it gets real, it'll get real, like it'll get real. And anybody that know me personally knows that when it gets real with me, I'm like an overboard real nigga. Like I go overboard, I can't lie, I can't think about when you see me with the Nike check on, just know nigga. That means when I was somewhere and I see a young nigga with the Nike check, I'm like, gotta watch this situation. The Nike Tech has become a cloak and dagger, has become a cloak for people that look like me, young but youngsters have come for the Wyans. When you got this on, somehow Nike Tech has become a staple of the troublesome youth. That's the out. Think about it. The Nike tech. If you see it, you could be some you could see a young nigga and be like, okay, I don't know what he on, but you see him in a tech. Oh, don't put on a poop shife, too. You feel like it's about to be trouble. Nigga, I might need to grab my thing or get the fuck up out of here. That's what the Nike Tech has become a symbol of. That's how powerful we are, right? Understand, bro, that like when it gets real, like I'm a dude that's like stupid. For as smart as I am, for anybody that understands and appreciates my intellect, for anybody that just look at shit and go, um, I feel like that nigga, he the one he's gonna make it. Know that in my life, it's times that this right here cut off, this right here got all the way icy, and I just moved whatever was supposed to happen in that moment. It's not a I'm not bragging, it's not a, it's not like a it's not a bar, right? I'm just saying that rest in peace to my mama, right? I'm just saying that. Oh yeah, you've probably never seen mama, that's her right there, man. Mama Renee, rest in peace and died in 2005. I've been without her since I was a youth, basically. I was doing 19 years when she died. I was like on year six, think about my time. But uh, anybody love their mama, shout out your mama, go kiss her, hug her right now. If you can't, right now, I wait for you to come back before I even say anything important. If she in the house with you, if she right there, if you got your phone in your hand, text her and say, I love you. Your mama ain't nothing like it, especially to me. Tell your mama you love her. If you're gonna wait till after this, you watch it about as good. Listen, when she gets real with me, I go back to jail. That's the gist of it. When she gets real with me, shit happens in my daily life that almost speaks of what's to come. But I usually don't look back, I usually don't see it until I look back on it. But when you become a true OG, you can see the shit unfolded. That's one thing about one thing about when I hear like a lot of young motherfuckers say shit like you old, and you know what I'm saying, and we all act like that because you young, that means you saucy, right? You don't even understand what you're saying. You feel me? I'm saying you don't understand that you probably just discredited or or or or disrespecting a fountain of game and knowledge, right? So, like when you get around what my experience in life, now I can look at something now, I can see it before it comes, I can see it unfold, I can rock with it, I could already see it. You feel me, I'm saying, and that's Willie Lynch and wrong shit too. The algorithm you speak to that when like why the young go against the old, and why sometimes you don't confront no the people that don't look like us when they're tripping on some bullshit, but you would confront your own people, all that shit. But let me get to the just as I'm 12 minutes in. It's gonna be it. I'm I could be able to make it and stuff that y'all have been on there going on an algorithm with it, like when it comes to this monetization and stuff. I think as long as this is the episode is like 13 minutes or 14 minutes or something like that, in it counts as an episode towards you posting it and making it uh uh pushing it towards monetization, whatever the threshold is of that. That's how much I be locked into this shit. That's why anybody that fuck with me on contracts like rock the mob, or if I'm absorbed by your movement, you absorbed by mine. This is why you should love me, nigga. I'm a student of this shit. I'm a fucking nerd. But the fuck the glitch in me is that I happen to be a nigga that been a gangster. I ain't no gangster no more. I'm just only playing defense now. I'm not a gangster no more. I'm only playing defense right now. I'm not a gangster no more. I'm only playing defense right now. You feel me? Convince myself. I'm not a gangster no more. Only playing defense, right?

SPEAKER_01 13:29

Just know that the game be talking to us all the time.

SPEAKER_02 13:40

It's just that you gotta know the language of it. And the other day I was talking about something because I was like, you know, we talk about projection, right? Man, bro, I was I'm a man that like all I do is project. I could be talking about you, be talking about me like all the time, because I'm probably talking to you about you because I'm like, oh, I see that in myself, in my history or whatever. So projection is like, I never deny none of that, right? But just know that, like, man to man, like on some real, like, real nigga shit. The reason why I've been back a lot is because at a moment's notice, whenever something happened, that's some real nigga shit. I'm gonna do the real nigga shit. Like, I'm that that's the nigga I've been. Is that foolish for sure? Because I did time for shit that didn't even matter. The streets don't matter, niggas on the streets don't give a fuck about you, so they don't matter. Um, anybody that you thought was your homie, a nigga that fucked with you was probably potting on you and trying to fuck your wife or your bitch or your girl or or take your money or fuck over your business or or or leave it for dead, but yeah, I'm saying when you left, you know what I'm saying? Don't nobody don't nobody give a fuck about you when you go, just like when you die, we mourn you for that day and two days, and a week later, probably make a phone or something about it, and then a month later, we on to the next. That's what happens in the streets. That's why when Takashi was talking to Bank the other day, Takashi said bank didn't take no L on that to me, just so we get that opinion out there. Bank didn't take no L talking um Takashi with me. He one of the last real niggas in the podcast world to me. It's not like him and Boosie is like some of the last real niggas, even in this whole media spectrum to me. It's a couple of real women too caught to be out give her problems. Look at the end of the day, right? So when I look at it, like what you mean? That nigga Takashi said to him, Uh, oh, you see that on the real, it ain't no it ain't it, it ain't the streets ain't real, like like it ain't no real niggas out there, no real niggas. You you can't trust nobody in the streets, ain't no trust. Man, I looked at that nigga, I'll start laughing. If you you gotta be a square if you thought the streets ever had trust. The streets was not, yeah, America with the mob and Italian mob and all that shit. Yeah, that was a global we see. Some of their best hitters got bodies, body niggas in court. I watch niggas on the internet right now that's on paperwork talk about other niggas how solid they is on their streets and they hood, right? But nigga, you on paperwork. I done seen it. That's how fickle this shit is. It's weird, right? My my issue with myself being that I've been too real in fake ass situations, and I'm faced with another one, a fake ass situation that calls for some real shit to happen. I gotta figure out who am I gonna call upon. Am I gonna call call upon the nigga that got thank you up here? Yeah, I'm saying PWG me and free, but not free. Am I gonna call upon the real nigga? I want the real nigga to die. That nigga be taking over. You feel me? So, anybody that's ever faced with adversity, clip this, get this last like last 60 seconds. Anybody that's ever faced with adversity that's been incarcerated, that suffers from PTSD and trying to figure out their life and trying to figure out how they're gonna move on when they sit in that mode. Call somebody, text somebody that you feel like really got your best interest at heart and ask them the question of what would you do in this situation? And that's usually the real shit. When you going through something and you a nigga who know how to bust that thing, or you feel like you're a crash out and die for to do life for it, right? And you don't know what to do, and you feel this is the time that you can feel that you you go back. This time when you can feel in your soul, this how I be going back to jail, right? You know what I'm saying? This how this will this how I be. When you can see it, you might not be there yet. When you can see it, hear somebody and ask them. Hopefully, you're around your people. If somebody come give you a hug and be like, bro, that you would be the you'll be the laughing stop. I'll add them. It's Peter Ub, man. Like you know what I'm saying. I'm I've been around for a long time. I survived a lot. I want to keep on living. But um, ain't no butt. I got a three-year-old daughter, ain't no butt. That's where I'm at. Right? I had two therapy sessions today. This is my second one, right? To the real ones, they're gonna kind of know what I'm talking about when I'm without me saying too much. To anybody that don't get it, it's just content. That's all it is, just content, man. Nigga was just on some many shit. It's all love, man. It's a cop, bro, man. Free but not free. We got motion. Let me name all the games. Free but not free, Global Mafia Entertainment, free but not free. Uh We Got Motion, Frequency 99, uh, Br B. Um, it's somebody I'm forgetting. It's somebody that's an affiliate. Oh, W and I, we need it. Uh, I'm gonna name all the games. Um, I feel like it's somebody I'm forgetting though. If I forgot the gang, man, I'm my bad, man. All the people that's merged in, you know what I'm saying, with the enterprise, right? Oh, well, frequency 99 is me and wood shit. So you feel me, right? Just know that I'm trying, I'm doing my best. I got it though. I'm a my boss one way or the other, man. Roger Ballman is what we do.

SPEAKER_01 18:36

Come on. It's all love. Stay free, man.