Self Care for Busy Moms: Small Habits that make a Big Difference

Following last week's deep dive into losing yourself in motherhood, this episode lifts the energy with real, doable self-care — not the "book a spa day" kind, but the small-but-mighty moments that keep the "you" in motherhood.

What We Cover:

* Why self-care feels impossible for moms (and what happens when we skip it)

* What self-care actually looks like — for me, it's my hair and makeup routine

* Permission to prioritise yourself without guilt

* 8 affirmations to carry with you on hard days

* 5 practical action steps you can start this week

* A sneak peek at something launching end of May

🔔 Something new is coming at the end of May to help moms with exactly this. Follow @charliesparentingpages on Instagram to be the first to know.

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Stay connected with Charlie

Website: https://stan.store/Charliesparentingpages (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood)

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A new episode is released every Sunday!

Transcript

0:26

Hello, my lovely and welcome back to chat with Charlie on The Mom Matters. I'm Charlie Mama five ages 11 down to two years old, And if you listen to last week's episode, we went deep. We talked about that feeling of losing yourself in motherhood, the overwhelm, the invisibility, the guilt for even noticing that you're losing yourself. if that episode hit home, first of all, you are not on your own. So many of you reached out and honestly, it reminded me of why I do this. But today, today's different. Today we are lifting the energy because while it's important to name the hard stuff, we also need to talk about what actually helps. So this episode is all about mom self-care and not the fluffy, just book a spa day, kind, real doable, small but mighty self-care that keeps the you in motherhood. So let's get into it. Okay, let's just acknowledge the elephant in the room. Self-care as a mom feels impossible sometimes. Well, most of the time, me more than most with five children, I really do know that you hear people say, make time for yourself, and you think, what time? With what energy exactly. Between the feeds, the nappies, the school runs, the meal prep, bedtime battles, the endless mental load. Where exactly does me time fit in? And honestly, for a long time, I didn't make time for myself. I told myself that I didn't need it, that the kids came first. That I do something for me. When things calmed down, spoiler alert, things never calm down. There's always something else, which is great. That's how you want your family to be. You want it to be growing, thriving, always to be things going on. But what happens when you are waiting for things to calm down? You get burnt out. I got burnt out multiple times. I became resentful, exhausted, snappy, disconnected. I was aware of all of that, that I wasn't myself, but I was showing up for everyone else, but completely abandoning myself. And here's what I learned the hard way. When you don't look after yourself, even in the smallest way, it takes a toll, not just on you, but on your whole family because you can't pour from an empty cup. So today I want to reframe what self-care actually looks like, because it doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be expensive, it doesn't have to take hours. I think people think that as well. I know I used to think that. When people said, you know, you've got to make time for yourself. You've got to take time out for yourself. You've got to do things for yourself. I'm like, the first thing you think of is time and time. Time is a priority. So whatever you are prioritizing at that time, that moment in your life, that's where the time is taken up. So when you say, I don't have time, that's because you are not the priority in your own head. But we also think, I'm gonna need a whole day to sort myself out to, to take that time. I'm gonna need a couple hours to go out for a coffee. It doesn't have to start with that. Start small. It can get bigger later. You know, when you get used to it, when you do have more time. It just has to be intentional on purpose for you. So let me tell you what's kept the me in motherhood. For me, and this might sound small, but honestly it's everything for me. For me, it's my hair and my makeup. And I know that might sound a bit superficial to some people, but hear me out. Even on the hardest days when I've been up all night, when the house is chaos, when I feel like I'm absolutely drowning. Putting a bit of makeup on makes me feel like myself. It's always been my thing. We used to joke when we were younger, when we were teenagers and saying, oh, I just need to put my face on. I'm not ready until I've got my face on. I'm not dressed without my face on. And that kind of carried me through into adulthood. Motherhood putting my face on makes me feel like me. It doesn't have to be a full face, even just sometimes a bit of mascara, a bit of concealer, but that five minutes in front of the mirror, that's my time. It's me saying I still matter. I'm still here, and I'm still me. And when I skip it. when I go days without even looking in the mirror properly, that's when I start to feel like I'm disappearing. Like I'm not looking after myself. It's not about looking perfect. It's about not letting go of the parts of yourself that make you feel like you. So that's where it's not superficial. I am not putting my makeup on. To look good when I go on the school run or when I pop to the shops, or when I go for a walk, I'm putting my makeup on because that is the action that I do or I've always done to make me feel like me. that's what it connects for me in my brain. Now, makeup might not be your thing, and that's completely fine. Maybe for you, it's your morning coffee ritual. the way you make it, just sit down for two minutes and actually taste it. Maybe it's wearing your favorite perfume, even if you're not going anywhere. Maybe it's a skincare routine at night. Those few minutes of quiet just for you, maybe it's a walk. Around the block with your headphones in. the point isn't what it is. The point is that it's yours. It's something that reminds you. I'm not just a mom, I'm a person and I deserve to feel good. I deserve to feel like me. Now, here's where I need to get a bit serious for a second, because I know you might be listening and thinking, but I feel guilty for taking time for myself. And believe me, I felt like that too for years. I thought being a good mom meant sacrificing everything, putting myself last, never complaining. But here's what I've learned. When you. Prioritize yourself. Even in small ways. You are not taking anything away from your family. You are actually giving them more. Because when you feel good, you show up differently. You are more patient, you are more present, you are more calm. Your kids don't need a perfect mom. They need a happy one, and happiness. Starts with how you treat yourself. So if you've been waiting for permission to put yourself on the list, this is it. This is it. You are allowed to matter. You are allowed to have needs. You are allowed to do the things. That make you feel good without justifying it to anyone. I wanna give you some positive affirmations to take from this episode. These are things I tell myself I, especially on the hard days, and I want you to try saying them out loud or writing them down, or just letting them sink in. So if you wanna come back to this later, or you can't write it down right now, save the episode because they're really worth having to hand when you are feeling really rubbish and you need something to pick you up. Okay, here we go. I am more than just a mom. I am a whole person with needs, dreams, and desires. Taking care of myself is not selfish. It's necessary. I deserve to feel good in my own skin. Small moments of self-care are still self-care. I don't have to earn rest. I am worthy of it just as I am. My children benefit. When I am happy and fulfilled. I am allowed to put myself on the list, not at the bottom, but alongside everyone else. I am doing my best, and my best is enough. Take those with you this week. Say them in the shower. Say them in the car, say them when mum guilt tries to creep in. 'cause we know that mum guilt is quiet, creeps in quietly. So say your affirmations loud because the story that you tell yourself matters. Okay, now let's get practical. I wanna give you some action steps that you can actually do this week. Small things, doable things. Are you ready? Number one, identify your me thing, right? We know that mine is the makeup. Think about what makes you feel yourself. What's the one small ritual habit that when you skip it, you start to feel a bit lost? Maybe it's getting dressed properly. Maybe it's your morning tea. Maybe it's 10 minutes of reading before bed. Whatever it is, name it, and to protect it, don't let it slide. Number two, schedule five minutes for yourself every single day. I know it sounds so tiny, like what can you do in five minutes? But tiny is the point here. We have to start somewhere, five minutes where you are not doing something for someone else. Five minutes to breathe, to sip something warm, just to be, put it in your phone if you have to. Don't treat it like an appointment that you can't cancel. Three, lower the bar. On what counts as self-care we've been sold. This idea that self-care has to be big, like I said before, has to be a spa day, a whole day out, solo holidays, hours at the gym. It's not the case at all, for moms in the thick of it, self-care is brushing your teeth before noon, drinking a full glass of water. It's sitting down while the baby naps instead of doing the dishes. This is also self-care. Lower the bar, celebrate the small wins. Four. Stop apologizing for having needs. This is a hard one, but it's so important. You don't need to justify why you need a break. You don't need to explain why you want 10 minutes alone. You don't need to apologize for being a person outside of being a mom. Just take the thing, you deserve it. Five, check in with yourself daily. At the end of each day, ask yourself, did I do one thing for me today? If yes, amazing. Keep going. If no, no shame. Just try again tomorrow. It's not about being perfect. It's never about being perfect. It's about building the habit of remembering yourself. I want to leave you with this thought last episode. We talked about losing yourself in motherhood, And I said something, I really believe you are not going back to who you were before. Kids. You're going forward, you're becoming a new version of yourself. And that's so exciting. I find that so exciting. Self-care is a part of that journey. It's how you stay connected. To who you are while you are busy raising tiny humans, it's how you keep the spark alive, the energy, the joy. And here's the thing, you are worth coming back to, not the old you, not the pre baby you, but the U that is still in there underneath the exhaustion. Underneath the to-do lists, all the tabs open in your brain underneath the endless demands. She's still there and she deserves to be noticed. These small moments of self-care, they're not indulgent, they're not selfish. They're how you stay connected to her, to you. So protect those moments. Guard them fiercely because they matter more than you think. Now, before I wrap up, I wanna share something with you. These last two episodes have resonated with you. If you felt seen, if you thought, yes, that's exactly how I feel. I want you to know that help. Is coming. I've been working on something for months now. Something specially designed for moms who are ready to stop just surviving and start actually thriving. something that will give you the tools, the support, and the guidance to feel like yourself again, but not the old version, the new version. The version that includes motherhood but isn't consumed by it. It's launching at the end of May. And honestly, I cannot wait to share it with you. So if you want to be the first to know when the doors open, make sure you follow me on Instagram. That's Charlie's parenting pages. I'll be sharing all the details there. First, thank you so much for giving me your time today and for being here. I hope this episode has given you permission to put yourself back on the list, not at the bottom. Not as an afterthought, but as someone who matters. Because you do matter. This resonated with you. Share it with a mom friend who needs to hear it and make sure you're subscribed so you don't miss the next episode. Remember, small moments of self care are still self care. You don't have to earn rest. You are worthy of it just as you are. Take care of yourself this week and I'll see you in the next one.