Body After Baby: How to Stop Body Shaming Yourself & Start Healing

Your body just did something miraculous — so why do we spend so much time hating it?

 In this episode, Charlie gets real about postpartum body image: the impossible "bounce back" expectations we're sold, what actually affects your body's recovery (spoiler: it's not willpower), and how to start being kinder to yourself when the mirror feels like the enemy.

If you've ever stood in front of your reflection and not recognised the woman looking back — this one's for you.

You will Learn:

* The lie we've been sold about "bouncing back" after baby

* Expectations vs reality: why your body isn't "failing" you

* The 4 things that actually impact postpartum recovery (hormones, sleep, nutrition & movement)

* Why being kind to yourself is harder than any workout — and how to start

* 5 practical steps to rebuild your relationship with your body

* A reminder of what your body has been through — and why it deserves your respect

🔔 Back to Me is coming at the end of May 2026 to help moms with exactly this. Follow @charliesparentingpages on Instagram to be the first to know.

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Stay connected with Charlie

Website: https://stan.store/Charliesparentingpages (Mum Matters Community & all other tools for motherhood)

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A new episode is released every Sunday!

Transcript

0:26

Hello. Welcome back to Chat with Charlie on Mom Matters. I'm Charlie, mom of five. Today we're getting into something that I know so many of you are struggling with silently, and I know because I've struggled with it myself too. We are talking about your body after baby after birth. After having kids, it doesn't matter how many years it's been, whether it's just happened or whether your years down the line and still not feeling good in your own skin, the stretch marks, the softer tummy, the way your clothes don't fit the same, the pressure from yourself and social media from society to bounce back that term like it absolutely despise. And honestly, the phrase makes me want to scream because the truth is no one really says out loud, your body just did something absolutely miraculous. It grew a human, it kept that human alive. It went through labor, birth recovery, and now it's keeping you going. Unbroken sleep and cold cups of tea. And yet we look in the mirror and think, why don't I look like I did before? to that mom, the mom like me, who's had not just one baby, but five babies, so my tummy has stretched and shrunk and stretched and shrunk. And each time it gets harder to the mom that's had C-sections where it's extremely difficult to lose that baby weight, that overhang. I'm talking to you two. So today I wanna have an honest conversation about body image after baby, the expectations versus the reality. What actually helps your body recover and what doesn't. And most importantly, how to start being kinder to yourself. We'll also talk about how to start getting your body back to how you want it as well. Don't worry, we will get to that, but you do need to be kinder to yourself because you deserve that. So let's, let's get into it. Let's get into it all. Okay, let's start with the uncomfortable truth. We've all been lied to. we've been sold this image on Instagram in magazines, on celebrity news that you have a baby and six weeks later you are back in your pre-pregnancy genes. Glowing toned doing yoga on a beach somewhere, and it's absolute rubbish. That is not the reality for most women, and it certainly was not the reality for me, The reality is this, your body takes time to recover. We're talking months. Sometimes years, not weeks, never weeks, your organs literally shifted to make room for a baby in your body. Your abdominal muscles separated, your pelvis widened your hormones, went on some mad rollercoaster that would make anyone dizzy, and we expect to bounce back in a few weeks. Here's what I wish someone had told me after my first baby. It took nine months to grow that baby. Give yourself at least that long to heal. And healing doesn't mean getting your old body back. It means becoming comfortable in your new body. The body that did something incredible, the expectation is that your body should look like nothing happened. The reality is that something did happen, something huge happened, and your body carries the evidence of that, and that's not a flaw. That's a story. Now I wanna talk about the real stuff, the things that actually impact your body. And how it heals and changes after birth because I think a lot of us assume we are just doing something wrong when our body doesn't look the way we expect it. But the truth is there are many factors and most of them are completely, completely out of our control. Firstly, your hormones after birth, your hormones are all over the place, estrogen. Progesterone, cortisol, prolactin, if you're breastfeeding, They're all fluctuating wildly, and hormones affect everything. Your metabolism, your mood, how your body stores fat, how you retain water. Now I am no doctor nutritionist, personal trainer, but this is all stuff that you can find on the internet information, factual information. So if you feel like your body is holding onto weight differently than before, it's not because you are failing, you are doing something wrong. It's because your hormones are doing their own thing, and that's normal. It's what everybody's body does. It can take months and sometimes over a year for your hormones to fully regulate. So be patient with yourself. Second one, and this will hold pretty much everyone back, is sleep. I only learned recently that you can't lose weight. It prevents you from losing weight. Really. If you're not getting enough sleep, so more accurately as a new first time mom or new mom, not first time, every time, lack of sleep when you're sleep deprived, which let's be honest, is the default setting for new moms. Your body produces more cortisol, that's the stress hormone, and cortisol makes it harder to lose weight, harder to recover. And harder to feel good in general. So no, you're not imagining it. Sleep deprivation genuinely affects how your body looks and feels. And here's the thing, you can't just try harder to sleep more when you have a newborn. So instead of beating yourself up, just know that this is temporary. Your body is doing its best under difficult circumstances, very difficult circumstances. Third is nutrition. And I'm not talking about dieting. Please don't diet in the early postpartum months. It's not good for you. What I mean is are you actually eating? Because so many new moms forget to eat, or they grab whatever's quickest, or they're so focused on baby that they don't even notice they're hungry until they're literally shaking. Your body needs fuel to recover. It needs nutrients, and if you're breastfeeding, you need even more calories than you did when you were pregnant again. I'm not a nutritionist, but these are facts, searchable facts. So this isn't about restriction, it's about nourishment, eating consistently, drinking enough water, drink loads of water. give your body what it needs to heal. And fourth movement, not exercise in the get your body back sense. Movement in the help your body feel. Good sense, gentle walks, stretching pelvic floor exercises when you're ready. These things support recovery, but they're not about punishment, they're about connection. Moving your body because it feels good, not because you're trying to shrunk it. Fresh air is such natural medication, moving your body. But I will say I've had four C-sections. Please be careful moving your body. Don't push yourself too hard, too quick after that C-section. It is not good for recovery. Slow and steady small steps and increase slowly as you are starting to feel a bit better. But never ever. Push yourself before you are ready during recovery from any birth, but definitely from a C-section. And I am talking from experience. The bottom line is this, your body's recovery depends on your hormones, sleep, nutrition, and movement. And right now most of those things are compromised, so of course your body isn't bouncing back. It's doing the best it can. Now, let's talk about something that's harder than any workout program, being kind to yourself because the way we talk to ourselves after having a baby, it's often quite brutal. We stand in front of the mirror and say things we would never say to a friend. We pinch our stomachs. We avoid photos. We wear clothes that hide us instead of celebrate us, and I get it. I've been there after every single one of my babies. I've had moments where I looked at myself and I felt like a stranger. I remember after my first baby. Just after he was born, and that was a natural birth. I looked down at my tummy and I was like, what is that? I couldn't believe how I looked. It was like my, my pregnant tummy was there, but without the baby. I didn't know what to do with myself. I felt horrible. But here's what I have learned. Hating your body doesn't make it change faster. It just makes you miserable. So what does help first stop the comparison unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about yourself? I'm serious. If every time you open Instagram, you are bombarded with postpartum body transformations that make you feel like you're failing, That's not inspiration, that's sabotage. Curate your feed. Follow people who look like you. Follow people who celebrate real bodies. Second, talk to yourself like you talk to your best friend. If your best friend came to you and said, I hate my body. I look terrible, I'll never be the same, what would you say? You'd say, are you kidding me? You just had a baby? You are incredible. Give yourself some grace. So why don't we say that to ourselves? Try it the next time that inner critic pipes up. Ask yourself, would I say this to someone I love? If the answer is no, then don't say it to yourself either. Third, focus on what your body can do, not how it looks. Your body feeds your baby, whether that's breastfed or bottle. It's keeping them alive. Your body carries them, rocks, them gets up in the night again and again. Your body is working, it's doing its job. When you shift the focus from appearance to function, something changes. You stop seeing your body as a problem to fix and start seeing it as a partner that's showing up for you day in, day out. Okay. So let's get practical. What can you actually do to start rebuilding a healthier relationship with your body? I'm going to give you five things you can try not to fix your body, but to reconnect with it. One dress for the body that you have. Now, I know it's tempting to keep wearing clothes that don't fit, hoping you'll get back into them soon, but all that does is make you feel uncomfortable. Every single day buy new things that fit you. Now, that feel good, now you deserve to feel comfortable in your own skin. Not squeezing into a skirt or jeans that dig into your stomach will remind you of what you think you've lost. I did that for such a long time. I said that I didn't wanna buy new clothes because I didn't like the body that I have. Right now But then I, over time, I've realized that I actually don't like the way I look in anything because I'm not buying clothes for my current body because I'm waiting to lose all the baby weight. In the meantime, I just feel rubbish all the time how I look. So I've changed that mindset and I've thought to myself, well, you know, I'll buy clothes now for my body right now so I can feel good now and then. When I lose my weight and my body has gone to the weight that I want it to be, I will have to buy more clothes. You know, more shopping. What's the problem? This isn't giving up, by the way. This is giving yourself permission to feel good today, too. Move for joy, not punishment. Exercise doesn't have to be about burning calories or losing weight. It can just be about feeling good, a walk with your pram, some gentle stretching while baby naps dancing in your kitchen with your little one. Find movement that makes you feel alive, not exhausted, and defeated. Your body has been through so much treated with kindness, not punishment. Three, write down what your body has actually done. This sounds really simple, but it's really powerful. Really, really powerful. Get a piece of paper and write down everything your body has done for you. It's really good to see things written down. Makes such a difference. It grew a baby. It birthed that baby. However that happened, it's healing, it's functioning. It's keeping you alive day after day. When you see it written down, it's harder to hate it because look at what it's done. Look at what it's still doing. Four, limit the mirror time. I know this sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. If you find yourself standing in front of the mirror, analyzing every stretch, mark, every fold, every change, step away, set that boundary with yourself like we were talking about last week. You don't need to inspect your body like it's evidence of failure. You're allowed to just exist without judgment, without critique. Check the mirror to make sure you haven't got baby sick on your shoulder, and then walk away or look in the mirror and smile and say something positive to yourself. That is when you should be looking in the mirror. Say something positive that your body has done. Say something positive about your feeling. Say something that you are grateful for. That is what the mirror is for, not for criticizing yourself. Five, surround yourself with people who lift you up. The people around you really matter if someone is making comments about your body, even if they mean well. You are allowed to shut that down. This is boundaries. My body is doing its job. I'd rather not talk about my weight right now. You don't owe anyone a conversation about your body. You certainly don't owe anyone an apology for how you look. Surround yourself with people who see you, not your dress size. So as we wrap up today, I want to leave you with this. Your body has been through something extraordinary. It has stretched, it has grown, it has worked harder than you probably even realize. Building a placenta, creating a human being. Going through labor and then immediately starting the work of recovery and caregiving. And now, while you are running on no sleep, while you are feeding and soothing and surviving, your body is still showing up for you. That deserves respect, that deserves gratitude, that deserves so much more than criticism. I know it's hard. I know you look in the mirror and don't recognize yourself. Sometimes I know you might feel like you've lost something, but I want you to consider that maybe you haven't lost anything at all. Maybe you've just changed, and change isn't failure. Change is proof that something incredible happened. You became. A mother and your body made that possible. So the next time you catch yourself picking apart your reflection, I want you to stop, take a breath, and say to yourself, this body grew my baby. This body bought them into the world. This body deserves my kindness. 'cause it does. And so do you. thank you so much for listening today. I really appreciate your time. I hope this episode gave you a little. Bit of permission. Permission to be kinder to yourself, to slow down, to stop chasing, bounce back, that horrible phrase, and start embracing where you are right now. if this episode hit home for you, if you are feeling like you've lost yourself somewhere in the nappies and the night feeds and the constant giving, I want you to know that what we talked about today is just the beginning. because loving your body again is one piece of a much bigger picture. It's about reconnecting with you, the woman you were before, the woman you are becoming now. And that's exactly why I created back to me a whole journey designed to help you. Find yourself, again, not just your body, but your identity, your confidence, your sense of who you are beyond Mum, that sounds like something you need. Keep your eyes on Instagram at Charlie's parenting pages. I'll be sharing more about it on my page. In the meantime, if this episode resonated with you, Please share it with another mom who needs to hear it, screenshot it, pop it on your stories. Tag me. I love hearing from you. And if you haven't already, make sure you are following the podcast so you don't miss the next episode. Take care of yourself. Your body is doing an amazing job and so are you.