C-Section Birth Stories: Emergency vs Elective, Recovery Tips & Why C-Section Mamas Are Superheroes

In this deeply personal episode, Charlie shares her experience of four c-sections — two emergency, two elective — and breaks down everything mums need to know about this often misunderstood birth experience.

What You'll Learn:

* Charlie's full birth story across five babies (including why her second birth became traumatic)

* The real difference between emergency and elective c-sections — emotionally and physically

* Why the "easy way out" myth needs to end

* Practical tips for preparing mentally and physically for a c-section

* Recovery essentials every c-section mama needs to know

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Transcript

0:26

Hello, and welcome back to Chat with Charlie on Mum Matters. Today, we're talking about something really, really close to my heart, C-sections. Whether you've had one, you're preparing for one, or you're just curious, this episode is for you. I've had four C-sections myself. Yes, four. Four out of five babies were C-sections. Two of them were emergency, two were elective. I wanna share my story, break down what actually happens, and remind you of something really, really important. C-section mums are not taking the easy way out, and I know that's said a lot. I hear it so many times, too posh to push. It's the biggest load of rubbish I've ever heard in my life, having experienced it myself, and it's definitely not something I would necessarily personally choose to have done. But at the end of the day, all we want when having a baby is for the baby to get here safely, don't we? So we do whatever we need to do to make that happen. But for sure, it's definitely not the easy way out, not even close. So let's get into it. Let me take you back to the beginning. My first birth was textbook. Quick, natural, baby came two and a half weeks early, no pain relief, there wasn't time. All pretty straightforward. I remember thinking to myself, "Okay, I've got this." And I went on to having my second baby pretty quickly, that was a lot based on my first experience in labor. I mean, it wasn't a walk in the park, don't get me wrong, but it was pretty straightforward and I'd mentally prepared myself that, "Okay, I think I can get through that again," because it was so quick. And they say that the second baby comes quicker, so I was like, "Okay." And my first baby, he was such an easy baby, such a good baby. He's still such a good boy now. He just gave me that feeling, and I think it does matter what kind of experience you have with a baby, depending on whether you're ready to have another one pretty quickly or whether you need a bit of a break because I've experienced both. not saying that any of my babies were particularly bad But just depending on, on the load that's piled on top of you after birth. So in essence, first baby, first birth was straightforward. My baby was a good baby. So I thought, "Okay, I can do this again pretty quickly." Famous last words, huh? Baby number two, however, couldn't have been more different. I was overconfident, if I'm honest. Because I thought I know what to expect, and I've done this before, I guess, yeah. But my second baby had other plans. Forty-two weeks pregnant and still no baby and no signs that he was coming anytime soon. So I went in for an induction at 42 weeks, which was not fun to say the least. I was so adamant that I really wanted to try a water birth this time. Unfortunately, the midwife that was looking after me put me in the water too soon. I was only four centimeters dilated. So what I learned after that is that if you go into the water four centimeters or before, it actually has the opposite effect of a water birth. It relaxes you. So my whole birth relaxed, and my, my labor just stopped progressing. So it basically reversed my labor. My body relaxed completely. Baby didn't progress for 36 hours, and I ended up having a very traumatic emergency C-section. Not how I wanted or expected to give birth. But honestly, in that moment, I was just so grateful that he was here safely. Baby number three, I attempted a VBAC, which is a vaginal birth after C-section, if you don't know. I really wanted it to work, and statistically, a lot of them do work. But unfortunately, I was one of the ones that it didn't work for. She got stuck too at seven centimeters, and that resulted in another emergency C-section. By this point, I'd accepted that my body just does things differently, that this, this was how it was meant to be for me. I did have that That pang of like disappointment because I really wanted to be able to give birth naturally again. But 100% it's not the easy way out to have a C-section, and I did not feel that I'd failed. I... In fact, I felt quite the opposite because I made the right decisions at the right time to save both me and my baby's health. So then for babies four and five, I had elective C-sections, which quite honestly, they were my best birth experiences. Very calm, controlled, no contractions. I walked into the hospital with my little suitcase and was relaxing with my husband, waiting to be called down to have my C-sections. So all in all, the elective C-sections were a much better experience than natural birth and emergency C-sections because it's just a lot calmer. I think I, I, I personally wouldn't choose to have a C-section if I didn't have to. I, I love the idea of giving birth naturally and having done it as well, I did enjoy the feeling of being able to give birth naturally. But that being said, an elective C-section is definitely not a bad option either, and I really was just grateful that my babies were here safely. There's something really powerful about being mentally prepared for whatever form of labor that you're having. So let's talk about emergency C-sections versus elective C-sections considering that I have experience in both. Because they're really not the same experience from my experience. An emergency C-section happens when something unexpected occurs during labor. The baby's heart rate drops or maybe the baby gets stuck like mine did. Maybe labor stalls. It's fast. It's scary. You don't have time to process anything. One minute you're laboring, the next you're being wheeled into theater The room is filled with people introducing themselves to you and telling you what they do. Everyone's moving really quickly, and you're just trying to stay calm while your world flips upside down. Emotionally, it can be really hard to process afterwards. You're just sort of like, What just happened to me?" You might feel like your body failed you, like, like you couldn't do what you needed to do. I definitely had pangs of that the first time. I was more accepting of it the second time. I was like, "Okay, so, you know, this didn't really work out." But the first time I definitely felt, why couldn't my body do that? You might grieve the birth that you imagined in your head 'cause birth plans, from my experience, never really go to plan anyway, whether you're having a natural birth or a C-section. And there is that moment of when you... through it all, and it's all done, your baby's here, you're like, "Oh, maybe I would have done that differently. Maybe that could have gone differently." In my experience, it's not really a good idea to dwell on any of that. Like I keep saying, the most important thing is that the baby gets here safely and that you are well, healthy, and safe. It's very normal to feel like that, and it's okay to feel that. Just make sure that you move yourself past it. Don't dwell. An elective C-section is scheduled in advance. You've probably been spoken to about it by the doctors, the midwives, before, maybe for various reasons that you might-- There's so many reasons that you might need to have an elective C-section. you know the date that you're gonna have your baby. You know what to expect. You can prepare more mentally and physically. You walk into the hospital very calm. You meet your surgical team. They come in, they talk to you. They make you feel relaxed, ready. You have op-an opportunity to ask questions if you want to, explain how you would like the experience to go for yourself. Everything feels very controlled. For me, the difference between emergency and elective c-C-sections was the difference like between night and day. My elective C-section just felt peaceful. I can enjoy the moment my baby was born instead of being in survival mode, literally. I, I can picture it now. Recovery-wise, both of them are major abdominal surgery, and I think this gets bypassed all the time. You come home with a baby, and everybody's so keen to see the baby, and although there is that resting period- I always say around four weeks after C-section you will start to feel like yourself again, more able. Because the first few weeks you feel very unable to be able to do things, to get up, to sit down. Everything hurts, coughing, sneezing. And then four weeks you start to feel a bit more able. And I say to my sisters, to my friends, to any moms that I come into contact with, that's the point where you have to not try and do more. It's the most important point, and I've had so many friends and family members that are just like, "Oh, yeah. You're so right." But let me say it again. Whichever C-section you have, both of them are major abdominal surgery. You're healing from the inside out. Emergency C-sections can sometime have a harder recovery because your body was already exhausted from the labor. So your body has gone through all of that, going into labor, being in labor, the trauma that it's, like, doing to your body, and then your body's completely, utterly exhausted. And then you've got to have an emergency C-section abdominal surgery on top of that. You really have been through the wringer emotionally and physically. Elective C-sections, you go in rested. Your body's not trying to go into labor, and it hasn't been laboring for hours. But either way, recovery takes time. I did find both times recovery with my elective C-sections smoother and quicker than I did with my emergency C-sections. But either way, you need support, you need rest, and you really need patience with yourself. Take the time that is required, that is told to recover from C-sections. You're told six weeks. It's six weeks at the minimum. You will start to feel better and more capable. But whatever they're telling you, don't carry anything heavier than the baby. Don't walk too much. Don't go up and down and up and down the stairs. Listen. You really don't know the damage that you could be doing. You are not stronger for recovering quicker. And if you want to have more babies... this is what I kept in my head- Every time I was recovering from a C-section, I wanted another baby after each baby I had. I knew that I wanted a big family, and if my body was able to do it, I was like, "I need to rest and recover 100% so that my body can do this again. I do not wanna cause any damage to my body so there's any risk that I can't do this again and they tell me no." So if anything, keep that in your head if you are thinking of having another baby. And that's another thing with C-sections, just to mention. if you do want to have more children and you've had a C-section or you're about to have a C-section, each time when I was in surgery, actually on the table in surgery, I asked the surgeon in the room, a- because that's the person that's looked inside your body, has seen your womb, has done the C-section, and I asked them, "Is it safe for me to have another baby, for me to have another C-section after this?" And I asked that every single time. My husband was looking at me like I was stark raving mad, and the surgeon looked at me the same. But I was like, "Look, I, I do want another baby after this. I know not right now, I've just had one." But I just wanted to be prepared because I would never... If he told me no, then I would've, I would've stopped. After baby number five, I asked, and I wasn't sure that I wanted to have a- another baby after this baby, but I just asked anyway just in case. And after four C-sections, the surgeon said to me, It would be difficult, but you would be okay, and we would look after you." But at that moment, I really felt like my body had done everything I wanted it to do, honestly. I'm just telling you in advance, if you're at that stage where you're about to have a C-section, where you've already had a C-section, where you may want another C-section or m- another baby, it's just always good to ask the question while you're in there. Now, I wanna talk to you about something that really fires me up. Like I said earlier, the idea that C-sections are the easy way out. Can we just put that to rest right now? Right now, right here. Because there is nothing easy about having your abdomen cut open. There is nothing easy about being awake while surgeons operate on you There is nothing easy about not being able to lift your baby or drive or walk properly for weeks afterwards. In my opinion, C-section moms are literal superheroes. You lay on that table completely vulnerable, trusting strangers to bring your baby safely into the world. It's giving me chills just saying this. You recovered from major surgery whilst caring for a newborn. You did night feeds while your incision was still healing. You smiled through the pain because your baby needed you. That is not the easy way out. That is pure and utter strength, resilience, and that is motherhood. And honestly, all birth is hard. Natural births, C-section, induced, water birth. Every single way a baby enters this world is an absolute miracle. Every single mother who brings life into the world is just extraordinary. Have you ever sat back and just thought about what your body did? What your body brought into this world, what you did. So if anyone makes you feel less than for how your baby arrived, that says everything about them and nothing about you. You did something incredible. And please don't ever, ever forget that, and if you do ever forget that, listen to this episode again, 'cause I am happy to be on repeat so that you remember just how incredible you are. So if you're about to have a C-section or planning on having one or thinking of having one, I wanna get practical and give you some practical tips for preparing and mentally preparing First, let go of the perfect birth image. Like I said earlier, birth rarely goes to plan, and that's okay. Your job is to get your baby here safely. That's it. If you know you're having an elective C-section, ask questions. Ask your midwife or consultant to walk you through exactly what will happen. It's good to have a visual of what's gonna happen on the day. Knowing the steps takes away so much fear and apprehension. You'll have a spinal or an epidural. You'll feel pressure, but not pain. Your partner can usually be with you, and within minutes you'll hear your baby cry. Oh, it's the best sound in the world. for recovery, get the high-waisted knickers. Trust me, really, really big knickers that go over your tummy, right over your tummy. You don't want anything tucked under or touching the incision, it will just irritate it. set up a recovery station downstairs, everything you need within arm's reach. So that's nappies, wipes, snacks, water, the remote control, a handheld fan, everything that you think you might need downstairs. Because I found it really hard after, especially my emergency C-sections, to walk up the stairs and get into my bed. My bed's quite high up. Like, just to lift my leg up to get into bed, I just found it so hard. So I personally found it easier... And because I wasn't really sleeping with a newborn, for the first couple of weeks, I napped or slept on the sofa. I made myself a a station downstairs with all the things that I need and some blankets, so I could just rest my head. I kept my babies in the pram downstairs for the first couple of weeks until I was feeling a bit better and able to get up the stairs. Plus I-- it's not a good idea to be going up and down the stairs. It's too much movement. so that's something that I did. You'll find your own rhythm. Accept every single offer of help. This is not the time to be a superhero, and think you can do everything yourself. Like, I know you probably wanna do things your way, and you like your way of doing things. Me too. Me too. My kids prefer my cooking. They like the way mommy does everything. I like things done a certain way in my house. You have to let it go. Just for this period, let people help you. Let people bring you meals. Let people hold the baby while you take a quick shower or rest. Let people do the school run, help you out. Move gently while you're recovering, but do actually move. Even just short walks around the house. I know that sounds really silly, but just walking around the downstairs of your house. Do a lap every so often. It really helps with the healing. But at the same time, don't go on like a twenty, thirty-minute walk. Listen to your body. Only do as much as you feel like you can. If it hurts, stop immediately. and finally, be kind to yourself emotionally. Your emotions are gonna be flying right now after your C-section, after your birth. You might feel disconnected from your birth. You might feel sad about how it happened. That's completely valid. Talk about it. Process it. don't bottle it up. Don't keep it inside. That's the worst thing that you can do, especially at this moment. Even if you feel like you're repeating yourself again and again and again, the people that love you will listen, will soothe you. And a problem shared is a problem halved. Your feelings matter as much as your physical recovery. So there you have it, my C-section story, the difference between emergency C-sections and elective C-sections, and a reminder that however your baby arrived, you are incredible. If you're a C-section mom, I see you. I really, really do. if you're preparing for one, you've got this. Believe in yourself. Ask all the questions you need to. Even at the end of this episode, just write a few down. And if you know someone who needs to hear this episode, who you know is about to have a C-section or thinking of having one, please send this their way. Let's lift each other up. Thanks for being here. I will see you in the next one.