You're welcome today. Our guest on the 40 Days of Reconciliation podcast is Rora Sharpweit. You are highly welcome. I will have you introduce yourself and also what you do before we move on.
SPEAKER_00Well, thank you so much, Emmanuel. So I am a licensed minister. I am the voice behind the Baking Pastor podcast. And I am a pastoral counselor and soul coach. I help people slow down and figure out what's going on and how to deal with it. Not necessarily with the framework or a system, but by slowing down and tuning into God.
SPEAKER_01I'm so excited to know about the baking pasta. So would you like to tell us how did you come to that title, the baking pasta?
SPEAKER_00My first church I served, I had an older congregation and they loved having home visits. Well, what better to have with coffee than to have a goodie? So I would bake cookies or cakes or pies, and they nicknamed me the baking pastor, and that stuck with me through all the churches since. So I I'm okay with that.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much. And today you're going to share with us insights into various things. And one of them is you don't have to earn your worth, obviously. So maybe we start with that. Uh, would you like to tell us more about this?
SPEAKER_00I think a lot of people today are so exhausted because they have spent their whole lives trying to earn rest, love, belonging, or approval. But worthy is not productivity, it's not how useful you are, it's not how much of a load you can carry. It is something that just grows and grows and grows, and it just wears you down.
SPEAKER_01Today, many people are working hard and still getting less, like below standard. And sometimes you find they are doing what is critical. What would you say to such a person today?
SPEAKER_00Well, obviously, we we all have things we have to do, those those critical things, and that's okay, but you don't have to do them at necessarily someone else's pace. Yes, if you were working, you you have to finish the task when your boss wants you to. But that doesn't mean you can't get up. I'm gonna say this, folks, get up a little earlier so you can move a little slower. You can have that coffee with God time before you leave for that hectic day. It doesn't mean that on your break or your lunch, you can't go outside and go for a walk or go sit in a park or your car and just slow down. Yes, world's gonna go by, but you have to take the time to slow down. And it if it gets too critical, then take a second, go to the bathroom and go into the stall and just do some deep breathing, just slow deep breaths, to slow everything down. Because once you get all worked up, you're in that heightened anxiety state, everything feels like it's on a roller coaster and you just have to keep going. But you know, faith can't accidentally become part of performance. It you know, God's love is not something that we audition for. So if we can just slow down, it will be so much better.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so so much. I I think that resonates with the heart of the problem that most people face, whereby people fear their leader and they go sit on a desk, uh, fulfilling the eight hour, like for characters that work eight hours a day. Uh, and then when office closes, they go home. And but your culture that you are now talking about is different. It's it's results oriented. If I'm having results, I really don't have to sit here all through. I can also hold my coffee, walk around as I do my my work. Maybe if I it's a business phone call, if it's wireless, I can move with it. Yeah, you're you're talking about flexibility, but also being focused in the workplace. And thank you so much. And you also talked about faith. So, how can one be very productive and compromised and yet keeping their faith?
SPEAKER_00For me, it's it's every day is is with God. I I treat him like he's my best friend, and I start my day. Good um, good morning, Lord. Thank you for this day you've made. Let us rejoice and be glad. And I talk to him all during the day like like he's my best friend. So I'll be standing there looking at all the different little coffee cups to pick out and what flavor. So, Lord, what what flavor do you want today? And I'll feel one of them that we should have. Or okay, here's what was on tap today. I have this great interview coming up with a manual, and I need to record my podcast. Okay, Lord, watch over those and protect them. All through the day, I I labor, if you will, with God. It's not, oh, I'm in a crisis, let me go to him. It's being with him. It's someone's upset with me today. Did I do something, or are they in a bad mood? Help me discern that, Lord. Or if someone is struggling, please put their name on my heart so I can send them a message that I'm thinking and praying about them. It's being intentional with with your life, intentionally living with him in alignment with him, and not going down those traps that the enemy tries to snare us and and put us in.
SPEAKER_01I think that brings us back also to the foundation. Uh before I go to work, uh having that moment with God to dedicate what we are going to do before him. I think that's the point I pick from you. And and I think it it makes sense because for me, I have observed cases where one may get go out and they are working, and after like a year of investment, they discover what they were doing is wrong. So they want to restart. So it looks like if one could devote themselves to God and what they are doing, it it would actually God would also give directions, like the inspirations. Uh and I think it could be like in the daily, daily work. Maybe you could say something into that before we move on.
SPEAKER_00So when I start my day, I call it coffee with God. I literally come in, I grab my Bible and devotionals, and then after I work through that, and I'm juggling coffee, the Bible, and my cat, which is challenging. Um, I have a prayer journal and I pray for the people on the list, I pray for our nation, I pray for leaders, um, and then I pray for the ventures that I'm doing. So for everybody else, that could be what's going on in their life, what what's coming into their life? And I lean into do I call them the gut feelings? Do when I think about that topic, do I feel sick or do I feel excited and happy? And if I feel really icky about it, I'll ask, Lord, is that really you're closing that door? If so, please close it so I know it's closed. Because I I'm like Gideon. I I always want that sign. Lord, I'm stupid today. Make my fleece wet, make it dry, give me a sign. I think we'd all do a lot better if we had those big signs that are like, Emmanuel, do this, Laura, do this. But we don't. So if you're intentional with him and you can learn to listen to him and know that when he closes a door, he's gonna open another one. It's not, you shouldn't be there juggling that one handle trying to force that door open. Like you said, make a bad investment, or maybe it doesn't, it's a deal that you really shouldn't have entered with because of that particular individual, even though it sounded amazing. Maybe you are still supposed to do it, just not with that person.
SPEAKER_01And what I pick from you is that if you devote what you're doing to God, if you speak to him over what you do and pray over the people, and by the way, that's very good, a very good habit as a leader praying for your people and listening to God as you pray for them. What I get from you as you speak right now is that actually God, the same God for whom we work directly or indirectly, is able to guide us in the processes we we we take in our workplace. So if we do that, there is a possibility we could actually avoid being burnt out. So what do you say about that?
SPEAKER_00Burnout, it grows in spaces where I think people stop believing that they're worthy, and then unless they're producing something, you know, they're they're of no value. But but that's not the case. And so if they're leaning in and they're like, Lord, is there a better way to do this? Is there a way I can enhance this or make it better? And you listen, then you're not working, you know, hard, you're working smart. And I think that no matter what we're doing, there there's usually a chance to improve and to make it easier and better. But we have to be willing to listen and to do it someone else's way and not be prideful and say, well, I've always done it this way. That doesn't mean that's the best way, that just means it's a way. And if we listen to him, things will go easier, things will go faster. Um, we still may have a grumpy boss, but we know we are doing our absolute best job, and that's that's what we need to do to continue to shine God's light into everyone we meet and see, including that that grumpy boss or that coworker whose life is really down.
SPEAKER_01That also brings in a new aspect. When you tune into God, uh, when you pray for your people, uh, you do not rush to just do what you know, but you actually uh you make sure everything is aligned to God's purposes. Uh of course, now you're bringing another aspect of doing the leadership, the effective leadership, leading the team that God has given you. And the aspect that I see is that you do not actually honor, lead them towards your mission goals. You're actually ministering to them in a way because some of them may have issues at home, but because your leadership is God-centered, these people are going to be relaxed in your leadership. It brings us now to something else. Uh like making sure that our work is how do we make sure that our work is both transformational and is also sustainable long term.
SPEAKER_00If we don't take the time for ourselves, those I call them soul pauses, if we don't take that time to ask God's questions, advice, to to just pause and even just deep breathe, we're not gonna be in a point where we can do things well. We're gonna hit burnout really fast because a lot of us carry baggage. It it's usually related in grief. And by that I don't mean the 40, you know, there's 40 plus other things other than death. It could be a change in jobs, a change in homes, kids going away, kids coming back, um, a different boss, right? So so many different even the loss of a dream that you'd held on to. And so because people haven't dealt with their grief and all their baggage, they're gonna feel so burnt out. But when you I my leadership style is servant leadership. So I don't like to walk above them. I like to walk beside them or even slightly behind them. I don't ask them to do anything I'm not willing to do and won't be doing along with them. And I pray for each person I work with that day because I don't know what's going on in their lives, but the Lord does know. And so I know if I start the day praying for them and and whatever we're doing, then it's gonna work a lot better than if I just showed up and started. Um, and there's often times where I'll start the morning if I know I can, because we've got believers that I'll pray for everybody and ask if they have prayer requests, they can come tell me or sim, you know, even anonymously, just put a piece of paper in my in my box or something. And I love that that I can pray for people and I don't have to know what's going on. I just know it's all in the Lord's hands, and that makes a really strong work team.
SPEAKER_01And that is what most of us miss in leadership uh because in many workplaces nearly all workplaces, it's a place to grow, but also a place of conflict. How yes, how can we make sure that our workplace is only a place to grow and we avoid conflicts in the workplace?
SPEAKER_00I a number of years ago I was a special education teacher in a classroom, and I had some um assistants that worked in the classroom that always came in with a ton of drama with them every day. And I had some students who had some really bad home lives because of their disabilities. So I would go in extra early, I'd pray the whole way there, and I'd go in and I'd touch every person's desk and I'd pray over them. I'd pray for the room to have calmness, the room to have structure and focus, and would just go and do that. I've done that in offices, I've done it in churches. I've gone and put my hands on the pews of people who either I felt were struggling or I had been told were struggling. And it's a different when you can claim it and acknowledge it ahead of time, it's not quite as chaotic then.
SPEAKER_01That's very great. And then also, uh, is it uh possible to have people in the workplace who are no longer who don't really listen to you? You speak, but they really don't. How do you how do you handle such a situation?
SPEAKER_00I still pray for them. They they may not be talking to me, and that's fine. But but I can go ahead and pray for them. And usually people are acting out because of something going on in their life. They, I mean, they don't typically start out to be mean or bullies, something happened, and so I pray for them and not only what happened that weekend, but maybe what happened growing up or what's happened in a uh you know a previous age that caused them to be so negative or so so mean and spiteful. And ask the Lord to take care of it and and to help them heal from whatever that is, so that they will quit sharing that nastiness with the rest of the world. And it's amazing. You you can pray for people who are really icky, and usually they'll come back to you and say, I think you've been praying for me. Thank you. I don't know why you'd pray for me. I was mean to you.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Uh, in the workplace, sometimes in leadership, there will be so many cases uh against you as a leader, some are forced, some are right, and uh you need to make peace with everyone. And sometimes you find yourself saying sorry because you want to deal with the situation. Uh, do do you think that makes the leader weak? What would be your advice to in a situation where you really want to make people begin to smile together, uh improve the working environment?
SPEAKER_00I don't think wanting reconciliation makes anyone weak. It's usually the people who've been bullied who say that that that makes you weak. But I know I've I've and I I know who God is and I know who I am in Him. So I have no problems with saying we need to take a break, we need to take a breath, and I think we need to go to prayer. And if they say, Well, I'm I don't pray, that's fine. Then you go do something for a minute because I need to pray for the situation. There have been times when it was a workplace that that wasn't Christian and I would just go into, you know, excuse myself, like I had to go to the bathroom and go in there and pray, or go to the break room and where nobody was and pray. Um, because you you need to do that, especially as a leader. You know, if they see the leader taking action, not only that needs the company to to help the company move forward, but takes action and goes to to God, that should strengthen their belief that that leader really has their their best efforts in mind.
SPEAKER_01Back to burnout, there is a leader who is working hard, doing everything, seated on the desk, and maybe if it's visiting for pastors who may have pastoral visits, uh they can't do everything uh because they are too busy. Uh and delegation is very, very hard. Uh, how would you advise such a person in order to make sure that they are accessible to everyone?
SPEAKER_00You can, as a pastor, be accessible to everyone, but there still needs to be boundaries. I mean, yes, my phone would turn off, if you will, at eight o'clock. But if I knew families had someone who was very, very ill or nearing death, I would allow those particular calls or texts to come through. I tell people when I'm available, but I also tell them, you know, if they say, Oh, I need you to do this or I want you to do that, do I want to do it? Does it align with the mission? And do I have time? Because I may want to do it, but I may not have time. So if it's a meeting they want me to attend with them, can I attend another meeting, another month? This month is slam. Can I possibly come another month? You know, asking some questions about what it is before you do it. You know, is it critical that I'm there, or can I send a blessing for and someone else deliver it? Does it have to be me? Or can I pray that God will raise up somebody else to go and do it for me? Because pastors do get pulled in a lot of directions. I mean, people fall overnight, they may be sick, they may have surgeries, uh, families have loved ones that pass away, and then you suddenly have to stop everything and plan for that funeral. And it can be a lot, but but be willing to schedule still your time off because you need that respite. You need to go spend time with God, time in nature, and time for you because a burnout pastor is no good. You know, we can look back in scriptures, you know, you can't pour out of you into someone else if nothing is poured into you. And so that time away allows you to refill you.
SPEAKER_01That's great wisdom. And uh before we continue, we will it would be a disservice not to hear more of what you do, and also we'll be denying our audience the opportunity to know more about you. Uh so uh would you please at this point share with us uh what you do with the pastors? Uh, are you online? Have you written a book?
SPEAKER_00I am online. I primarily work with a lot of women, ideally, who have been through trauma, abuse, and grief. But I also work with pastors who are struggling with burnout. And so uh they can go to my website, which is bakingpastor.com. I've also written a book called At the Counter Spiritual Recipes for Faith in Everyday Life. It is a weekly devotional with stories and some of my favorite recipes. There's scripture, there's journal prompts, and it just gives you a chance to read and to think. I've got several groups right now using that book for a Bible study, and I've created leader guides for that. And then I've pulled all the prompts out into a companion journal because I wish people would slow down and pause. Uh, I hear too many people who who come to me for counseling or for coaching and they say, Well, what's your system? What's your framework? Well, I don't have one. My my system is the Holy Spirit, and I don't, you know, if I throw a framework at you, it may or may not work. I I people come in wanting that quick fix or that magic button, that magic wand, and it it doesn't happen. It's gonna take time for you to work through your your grief or your trauma or or what you've been abused from. And so uh it's not a fast fix, but you do get healed, and that's what I love about co-pil co-partnering with the Holy Spirit.
SPEAKER_01Okay, that's a very great uh program, and thank you so much. I really like it. Uh but I had a question as you move as you were speaking. Do you find a few people who do not who you think whose you see are not ready to trust the Holy Spirit?
SPEAKER_00Yes, yes, I I have several. And if they've been a victim of abuse, they're the ones who who don't trust anybody. And then they'll come to me and they won't have told me everything, but yet I they call it my Holy Spirit spidey sense, like Spider-Man used to sense things. Well, so I sense things, and I'll say, is that really all? I feel like there's more, and they'll look at me like, Can you see inside me? And I said, No, but the Holy Spirit can. And then I'll tell them something that I have no way of knowing other than the Holy Spirit, and then they realize this is for real. And they're then they're willing to to trust. And their their circle of trust may just be at that point me, but they they learn slowly to trust as we work through. And and some of the things they have to share are just horrific. And they I'm a safe place, and they can get me online, or if they're close to me in South Carolina, they can we can meet in person. We're gonna have a virtual retreat coming up later this year in October. So all kinds of ways to connect.
SPEAKER_01And of course, I'll add a comment in my personal experience that is anyone you can trust, is a person who fully trusts in the Holy Spirit. Yes, you're safe in their hands because they take the mind of God and share from the mind of God. And yeah, that's a great, great work. What are other insights you would share with us before we cross?
SPEAKER_00Burnout is not about doing too much, it's about carrying too much emotionally for too long. And I think especially people who are going through a lot are carrying a lot of baggage. I think of that baggage as like a snowball rolling down a really steep, high hill. It collects a lot of stuff on the way, sticks, rocks, debris. The same with our emotional baggage. It picks up feelings like shame, guilt, blame, and And worth unworthiness. And so when you're willing to and ready to put that down, you can start to feel the fullness of God and His love. So please don't keep carrying it. Please put it down. And if you don't have someone to walk alongside you or pray for you, I always encourage people to go to their churches, ask to be put on the prayer list or their friends. And if you don't have that, please reach out on my website and tell me you'd like me to pray for you. I'd love to add you to my prayer list.
SPEAKER_01Thank you very much. And if you don't mind, we'll add one more thing. Uh I have seen, I of obviously drawing from what you shared with us, I've seen that many people, when they come, they actually pick a tip of the iceberg and then they share with you, and then they expect you to solve their problems. But I like you what you do, listening from God and letting God solve the problems. And that tuning into God alone can actually uh bring the solution, even in a greater way than they expected. Uh so thank you so much. But obviously, uh I usually prefer it when I'm not the one ending, so please uh why do you comment on that? And then we will close after that.
SPEAKER_00So when I work with people, I like to think of it as there's a platter that we have between us, and you put all your baggage and junk on the platter, and while we're together, we hold it. And I'm there with you because Jesus says that we are to help each other with our yokes. And so by carrying it with you while we're working on it, it makes your load lighter. And at the end, whatever we've not worked on, I'm gonna hand back to you for now until we meet again. So, my friends, please, God put us in community for a reason so we could be there with each other and to help each other. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to not have the solutions, but you can always reach out and ask.
SPEAKER_01Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure hosting you on the 40 Days of Reconciliation podcast. You're always welcome. Thank you.