From Sinnership to Sonship: Discovering Our True Identity in God's Love

On a recent episode of the Attune 40 podcast, as part of our second series focusing on the 40 Days of Reconciliation, we sat down with author Tom Anderson. His book, From Sinnership to Sonship, speaks directly to the heart of reconciliation by helping us discover who we truly are in God’s love.

During our conversation, Tom broke down what it means to shed a deeply ingrained mindset of unworthiness and step into the engaging, purposeful relationship we were designed for.

Here are the core takeaways from his transformative journey.

Defining "Sinnership"

What exactly does it mean to live in "sinnership"? According to Tom, it is the experience of living from a place where you constantly feel like you do not measure up.

Tom shared vulnerably about his own background, explaining that he grew up feeling as though his father didn't like him, alongside a mother who was emotionally unexpressive. This environment fostered a deep sense of low self-esteem. Astonishingly, even after attending religious schools from grade school through college and engaging in church ministry, Tom spent about 40 years feeling like a "leper on the side of the road". He viewed himself as someone who always missed the mark, looking up at God from a place of perpetual inadequacy.

The Paradigm Shift

Tom's journey toward healing involved a moment of deep surrender about a month into his marriage, but a massive paradigm shift occurred roughly 10 to 12 years ago. While rewriting the book of Ephesians to better understand it, he noticed a pattern: the Apostle Paul continually references the relationship between the Father and the Son.

This challenged a common, transactional view of faith. Too often, we perceive God's love as a transaction—we are needy, so God pities us and takes care of our needs. However, Tom realized that true love is found in the actual fellowship that the Father and the Son share.

Stepping Into "Sonship"

So, what does it mean to move into sonship?

• Modeled by Jesus: Sonship is defined by the relationship Jesus has with the Father—an engaging, purposeful, and vibrant connection.
• Rooted in Scripture: Tom pointed to Galatians 4:6, which reminds us that because we are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying, "Abba, Father".
• A Position of Honor: Referencing the creation story in Genesis 1 and 2, Tom noted that when God created Adam and blessed him, the Hebrew word for bless (barak) translates to honoring him and giving him a position of authority.
• An Invitation to Fellowship: Through 1 Corinthians 1:9, we are reminded that God is faithful and has actively called us into the fellowship of His Son.

Embracing the Wonder

Moving from sinnership to sonship completely changed Tom's perception of himself. He realized he was no longer the "leper on the side of the road" waiting for pity. Instead, he is a participant in God's passionate love.

Tom likened this revelation to David’s words in Psalm 139. If someone were to express today that God couldn't get enough of them, they might be labeled a heretic. But David understood something profound about God’s love that didn't create pride, but rather a deep, humbling wonder.

When we finally understand that we are the center of God's attention—not because of what we do, but because of who we are in Him—we can finally lay down our "sinnership" and embrace the beautiful reality of being fully loved.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Today on a Tune 40 podcast, we are focusing on the 40 days of reconciliation, the second series, and we are joined by Tom Anderson, whose message of moving from sinnership to sonship speaks directly to the heart of reconciliation, discovering who we truly are in God's love. Tom, welcome to this podcast.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Thank you for having me. This is gonna be a very uh good discussion.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

To begin with, would you please help us understand? You have written the book, uh, just the audience, we're not doing a biography here, so just don't scroll away. But what we would like to get our guests to help us understand, he has written a book from sinnership to sonship. That's already interesting. Would you like to tell us uh about this book?

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Yes, I would uh this book is really the story of my life, but it's really written uh through the characters of uh Adam, of Peter, and of Abraham. You know, uh I I guess definitions would be important here is what the heck is sinnership, right? And what is sonship? And reminded of the verse in Galatians 4, 6 where Paul wrote, Because we are sons, God has sent forth the spirit of his son into our hearts, uh crying Abba, Father. And uh that uh is a very that verse has really been foundational in my life over the last you know probably decade. It says, Because we are sons. And so the question is, what is a son? And then also what what what do I mean by sinnership? A son uh as I've been really seeing uh this is has to be defined through the life in the person of Jesus, who is the son. And so when I think about Jesus, I see uh many things, but the two things I see as it relates to me is one, he has a relationship with the father, and that relationship is uh amazing. You know, uh they they've been to they've had this relationship forever. Uh they've uh it's engaging, it's purposeful, it's playful, it's everything that you would think uh a healthy uh engaging relationship is, but that would be on steroids. It just goes beyond anything we can imagine. And that's the same relationship that I've been called into. Uh, but also not only is it a relationship with the Father, it's also a position of authority uh in the in the in the world. And so Jesus obviously his position of authority is over everything. Um I have my own little world here. I have my wife, I have uh I have a part-time job, I have friends, uh, I have my my uh ministry at church, and those are my little, I call them gardens as I think about uh Adam because when God created Adam, he has in chapter one this expansive picture of humanity. Uh because he said uh he first blessed him. That word bless is barak in Hebrew, which is the same word that uh we say, I will bless the Lord, and it means to honor. And so, right from the very beginning, uh Adam was put in the center of God's attention. And then he said, Be fruitful, multiply, and fill. And and in short, that means that God really likes what he made. You know, God really likes what he's put in me, and he wants that to be expressed. And uh so that's Genesis one, but Genesis two, he puts him in this small little garden to learn how to uh fulfill God's uh plan for his life, which is to become like him. And uh so so if that sonship, uh just knowing our specialness, knowing our worth, knowing our significance, and knowing that we're safe, then uh sinnership is living from the place that it don't measure up. And that's been the story of my life. I mean, I started my life uh in a very deep hole. Uh my father uh I didn't think he liked me, and maybe he did, maybe he didn't, but I perceived that he didn't. Uh my mom uh was not expressive, so I really uh didn't have a good sense of self, I didn't have a good view of myself. Um and though I went through religious school, I went to um I went to a uh grade school, high school, and college, all with religious teaching, and I think I knew the Lord. I had a relationship with him. I can't tell you this is what had happened, but I know I did. It took uh a moment when I really saw that uh I wasn't who I thought it was, and that happened in in our marriage, about a month into our marriage. I I saw that I wasn't gonna be the person who was gonna uh be able to uh be a good husband. And uh that at that point I said, God, if you're real. And really at that point, both my wife and I, it's been a uh I I like your 40-day uh reconciliation because it probably has been about 40 years where we we have been serving the Lord, we've been uh uh growing, but it really took 40 years before I really began to see myself as he saw me, and uh and not as someone who doesn't measure up, uh as someone who misses the mark as it were.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Yes, uh that is a very good story that helps us in knowing how we can find uh reconciliation in Christ. It's very good to know uh that you have found victory, and what might have helped you discover uh your identity and help you seek Christ so that he can strengthen you.

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Uh about 10-12 years ago, I began to rewrite the book of Ephesians for myself because I really didn't get it. Um and uh it it was a like a five-year journey, and I and I just wrote it for myself. Um But uh what I saw right from the beginning was that Paul, when he talked about God, he said the Father and the Son. In fact, if you look at every one of his letters, uh whether it's to a church, to churches, to a friend or an acquaintance, he always starts by referencing the father and the son. Now here's uh here's a person who was a uh a monotheist uh prior to that, uh, but somehow he saw this relationship, and that in this relationship uh he saw himself. Uh he saw himself included. In fact, again, the verse I just read, he said, because we are sons, he didn't say because we had a good day, he didn't say because we've prayed a lot, or uh whatever religious tradition you're in, whether you burned candles or spoken tongues, uh that wasn't the reason God had has sent forth his spirit in my heart. It's because I have uh I've been named, I've been invited into this relationship with the Father and the Son. So uh what I've recently been thinking is when we think about the love of God, typically we think about God's love for me and God's love for this person, for that person, for humanity. And uh, while that is true, uh if that's the only way we think of God's love, it becomes more of a transactional relationship. You know, because I'm needy, God is good, God is uh uh loving, and so he's gonna take care of my needs. But if we see the love of God as it as I think it really is, which is the love that the Father has exhibited toward the Son, and the love that the Son has for the Father, and we see this manifest throughout the Gospels where where the Father said to Jesus, You're my beloved Son, I am so excited about you. And and Jesus said, I've come to show you off, Lord. You know, so you know, this this relationship, this love relationship that they have is what He's brought me into. Because Paul said in in uh uh Corinthians 1 9, that God is faithful, who has called you, called me, into the fellowship of the Son. So what I have been exploring uh in my heart and my mind as I as I think think think about God and pray and as I talk to people is what does that fellowship look like? You know, with whom has Jesus been fellowshipping forever? Well, it's been the Father as they've lived in the atmosphere of the Spirit. So what is that, uh again, what does that fellowship look like? And I've been invited into that. And so that has really changed my perception of self because I'm no longer the leper on the side of the road. That God sees me and just because he's loves, he's having mercy on me. But he has, it's not a pity sort of love, it's a passionate love. And again, as I think about Psalm 139, I mean, if David was here today uh expressing what he expressed then, we would probably call him a heretic. Because he said, God can't get enough of me. God thinks about me all the time. I'm the center of God's attention. But David knew something about God that I think we don't, that I don't yet, uh, and that did not create in him a pride. It created in him a wonder and a humility and a des and a desire to know this one who loves him so much that it almost uh almost makes you blush.