Breakthrough Moments and God's Intervention

An Interview with Tom Anderson (Segment II)

Tom’s journey began with a realization of his own brokenness. Growing up with a father who struggled to express love—later discovered to be rooted in the trauma of being adopted and unloved himself—Tom found himself repeating those same patterns.

Despite being "compliant" and "doing the right things," Tom realized eight years into his marriage that he and his wife, Nancy, were struggling to survive. Nancy was battling clinical depression, and their home was marked by a lack of emotional connection.

"The first time in my life, I saw that I was just like my father... and that broke me. I said, 'God, if you are real, do something.'"

The breakthrough didn't come through a self-help book or a complex strategy. It came through a moment of desperate honesty on a Sunday afternoon. While playing cards, Tom felt a nudge to pray. As he did, a specific verse from Isaiah 43 poured out of him:

"Consider not the former things, neither remember the things of old, for behold I do a new thing..."

Within a month, the depression that had held Nancy for years finally broke. Tom reflects that God often moves by dropping a "word" into our lives—a promise we can hold onto when the circumstances look like the exact opposite.

53 Years of Glory to Glory

Today, Tom and Nancy are celebrating nearly 53 years of marriage. Remarkably, Tom notes that their relationship reached a new level of ease and depth just months ago. He attributes their lasting reconciliation to two key factors:

• Radical Honesty: Admitting when we are broken and need intervention.
• The Power of Two: Tom emphasizes that while large gatherings are wonderful, Jesus spoke specifically about the power of two or three agreeing. For 35 years, Tom and Nancy have prayed together daily, proving that consistent, small-scale communion is the foundation of a transformed life.

As Tom reminds us, we don’t start with "too much glory," but as we walk with God, He leads us into a greater place of righteousness, peace, and joy.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We are focusing on the 40 Days of Reconciliation, the second series, and we are joined by Tom Anderson, whose message of moving from sinnership to sonship speaks directly to the heart of reconciliation. Discovering who we truly are in God's love. Tom, welcome to this podcast. Allow me to take you back to your early experience. What do you think? What do you think might have caused your parent, uh, your dad to make you feel like you were unworthy?

SPEAKER_00 0:40

Uh I I know looking back, I didn't know this when I was growing up, but uh he did not uh know that he was adopted until his mother um his mother was on her deathbed and and he knew he was not uh loved. And so uh I think because he didn't know he was loved, he really uh didn't know how to love. And um, like I said, I was uh I was more uh what I remember of him was being chased around with a belt, and I was a pretty compliant kid, uh for the most part. I mean, kids are kids. Uh and my mother was uh was German, and if you know uh much about Germans, uh the stereotype is that they're not expressive. And so while I know she cared for me, uh I again uh I I just wasn't I love love was my big need, and for my wife, significance was her big need. And uh so when we got married, uh she wasn't meeting that, and I wasn't meeting her significance need, and so uh we really struggled for uh eight years. Um and we were going to church, we had friends, we were trying to, we had we had children, we were trying to do what's right, but uh uh Nancy was actually uh uh clinically depressed. Uh, she'd be staring at a wall from work, and I would do what I could to uh to uh you know get her out of that state, and it really took God stepping in and intervening. Uh, and I know ex we know exactly when that happened, uh, where whatever was holding her broke. And uh and that really started off started off us us off on a journey toward wholeness, and uh we're gonna have 53 years uh next week, actually. And uh and I I've been uh Nancy and I both know that about uh a month and a half ago our marriage even went to another level. And I I can't really explain it, but we just know that there's an e there's a different sense, different ease. Uh so I I just I just see the Lord working, he's gonna continue to work and cause us in fact Paul said we go from glory to glory. We don't start out with too much glory, but uh as we walk with him, he's gonna bring us into a greater, greater place of of uh righteousness, peace, and joy.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

You could have been lost, and up to now maybe you can tell us what Jesus has done in your family. Because I hear you you you're talking about something happening. You are enjoying some transformation there. But before we go there, I would like to again take you back to who who how did you manage to find this breakthrough? Because I see really it's like you had been marked for some kind of life that wouldn't be meaningful, but you've brought you you were able to come out. I'm looking at that point where you made where you knew this is God, I am not going to remain the same.

SPEAKER_00 3:52

Well, in in terms of uh when we first connected with God, uh I again I s I what happened was the first time in my life I saw that I was just like my father. Uh up to that point, I if you would have said you like your dad, I would have said, No, I'm not. And he was loud and boisterous, I was quiet and and uh in the background, but I saw the same pattern in my relationship with Nancy that I saw in my dad's relationship with my mother, and that broke me. And that again, that and I'm gonna come back to this at the end about honesty, but at that point, even though I knew a lot about God, uh, and I know I had some experiences with him, uh, but at that point I said, God, if you are real, do something. Now, fast forward eight years, uh, again, we had to get married. Nancy did not want to be married. Uh, she certainly would didn't want to be married to me, but we uh she was pregnant and we did the right thing. Uh we got married. Uh and we uh again we tried to uh follow the guy the best we could, uh, even though we were both broken, uh broken people. Um there there came a moment on a Sunday afternoon when the children were uh in bed napping. We have two children and uh I was playing some sort of card game with Nancy and uh typically I was a pretty uh I was an up person, you know, I I wasn't down or depressed. Um and Nancy was typically depressed, and so this one Sunday I was feeling down, and um I said uh after we'd done playing, I said, Nancy, why don't we pray? So she flopped her hand over and uh I just prayed. I don't I don't know what I prayed, but I do know what happened. Right from here, my fr right from my chest, this word came out in from Isaiah, where it's where uh it says in Isaiah forty three, consider not the former things, neither remember the things of old, for behold I do a new thing. Now it shall spring forth, shall you not know it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. And uh it was about a month after that that whatever was holding Nancy broke. Uh but it was that word, and we've really held on to that word for a lot of things in our life, and and I've really seen the way God typically uh moves in a person's life is that he'll drop a word. Now that was pretty for me it was pretty powerful because it came out strong. Uh but there's whispers I've heard too, and those are the ones that I've held on to, and there's God watches over his word to perform it. And and sometimes, like the parable of the sower, uh that second soil that says when trials come because of the words, and sometimes when God says something, uh we need to expect the exact opposite to happen or for stuff to happen, because God while he's watching over his word, he's also trying the word. Uh I don't know if that makes sense, but we've we've seen it time and time again in our life that uh so when it usually when we have a need or when we really want to see something uh from God, we say, God, what are you saying as opposed to God, what are you doing?

SPEAKER_01 7:06

I was going to ask you from your experience, did God sorry, I'm not against you. I am on your side. But I wanted to ask you when you prayed to God, did he do something? Or you did something? Uh uh but it looks like before you expound more on that, it looks like as you were refreshing Isaiah, it looks like he actually came very quickly for you and he he drew you to his word.

SPEAKER_00 7:35

He did. I uh again, I didn't pre-think that. Uh there's times I pre-think things for sure, and it's that can be God too, but uh uh again, I was in a real desperate place, and I I think again, as I see uh the high points of our life, my my life and Nancy's life, uh, has been points of uh more desperation. Uh uh and where we've we've really had to come together and pray. Now, one thing Nancy and I have done for the last probably 35 years, uh, we consistently pray together. Uh I I think uh if if if I have any advice for marriages, uh I don't care about marriage uh marriage uh retreats, I don't care about reading many books, even though I do read books. Uh what I care about is what Jesus said, that he said, where two or three agree on anything, I will do it. And so he wasn't talking about the I I was just watching there's churches in Africa with with a hundred thousand people, and that's amazing and that's great. But he doesn't say we're a hundred thousand people agree on something, he said we're two or three. And as I see that, I see that uh with me and Nancy, with close friends, that uh we're actually in communion with each other, communion with God, and we've seen God again change us and actually change our our family. Yes, very much. If you don't mind, we're going to look at before and today.