Do you feel your past is crippling your future?

By Attune40 Editorial Team

In a recent episode of our 40 Days of Reconciliation series, we had the privilege of sitting down with author and teacher Tom Anderson. His story isn't just about a change in behavior; it’s about a total 180-degree shift in identity—moving from a life dependent on "externals" to a life rooted in the finished work of Christ.

If you’ve ever felt like your past is a weight you can’t shake, or that you’re constantly performing to keep others happy, Tom’s insights offer a path toward true rest.

Breaking the Cycle of "Externals"

Tom opened up about the early years of his marriage and career, describing a common trap: looking to things outside of ourselves to meet the deep-seated needs of our hearts.

"I was looking to my wife, Nancy, to make me feel good. Nancy was looking at me to make money... we look at these externals to tell us that we’re okay."

For many of us, these externals are our "juice." If people like us, we feel energized. If they resist us, we shut down. Tom describes his former self as a "servant type" who used people-pleasing to manage his own anxiety. But God had a different plan—a shift from the outside in to the inside out.

"It Is Finished" – More Than Just Forgiveness

When Jesus cried out "It is finished" on the cross, Tom believes He was declaring something profound about our restoration. Reconciliation isn't just about having our sins blotted out; it’s about the restoration of God’s image in us.

"He was talking about a whole lot more than forgiveness. He was talking about the restoration of God's image in me... Adam's problem was that he lost his connection with God. Jesus came to reconnect us."

Tools for the Journey

How does this look in daily life? Tom shared three pillars that sustain his walk:

1. The Living Word: Moving beyond reading the Bible as a chore and seeing it as a "Meta-story" that helps us interpret our own lives.
2. Vulnerable Community: Participating in small groups where "serious issues" and struggles are shared openly.
3. Active Prayer: Treating prayer as the bedrock of the home, leading to a household marked by the peace of the Kingdom.

A Challenge to Your Thinking

If you feel like your past is crippling your future, Tom’s message is simple: You are God's beloved, in whom He is well pleased. Most of us live out of an "I don't measure up" mentality, but reconciliation means accepting that Christ has already caused us to measure up.

Want to dive deeper?

You can find Tom’s weekly writings on the Book of Jude and his books on Ephesians at tomanderson.in or on Amazon.

As we continue these 40 Days of Reconciliation, let’s ask ourselves: Are we living to get "juice" from the outside, or are we resting in the love that has already been poured into our hearts?

To listen to the full podcast and explore more resources, visit us at attune40.com.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

We are focusing on the 40 days of reconciliation, uh, the second series, and we are joined by Tom Anderson. Tom, welcome to this podcast. If you don't mind, we're going to look at before and today. You did invite God to do something.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 0:20

What has it done?

SPEAKER_00 0:22

He's taken a couple people who've who really were looking to externals, to things outside to meet the deep-seated needs of our heart. You know, I was looking to Nancy to make me feel good. Nancy was looking at me to make money, which we've made a little money, but not a lot of money. You know, so we look at these externals that tell us that we're okay. And what God has done, he's just flipped that uh around 180, uh, 180 degrees, is it? Where right now we're living from the inside. And so we still face uh face things that uh sometimes looks uh daunting. But we know that what God, when when God said it is finished, he was saying that about our lives. And we really together uh are looking at life, expecting God to not only be with us, but actually cause his kingdom to come not only in our families, but in our relationships and even even with this, uh speaking with you, uh that God's kingdom is going to come into other people's lives because of what he's done in us. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 1:28

Uh now God has already transformed your life, and he is helping you make tangible changes. So, what how can you say you're different from before? Like ten years ago.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

Is is that too soon?

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Well, no, no, even ten years ago. Uh again, uh I spent most of my life being a servant type. I would have I would try try to get people to like me by saying yes. Um I I would uh again I I would project uh uh a calm demeanor while sometimes I just you know raging. Um and and God's really God really has really uh changed that. Uh I I I I'd like to say I used to get my juice or my my juice from the in from the outside. So if you like me, uh then I would I would like you and I'd be able to engage you in conversation and share my thoughts. But if you resisted or had any resistance, I would just shut down. And uh and uh that's just not the case. I mean, uh God has really uh changed me that way. I don't feel the need that I have to talk to people. I mean, uh I I I don't I don't feel the pressure that I can either say something say something to um to or to not say something. I I what what I uh let me just talk for a second about Paul. You know, Paul before uh he before Galatians where he said that when it pleased God to reveal his son in him, Paul was governed by his personality. You know, his personality before he became saved was uh was uh hard driving, was in your face. And if you really look at Damascus and you look at Jerusalem, his personality didn't change. He was still uh hard driving, uh I'm right, you're wrong, but there's something that happened when God was pleased to reveal his son in him, and I think that's what God has done in my life and my wife's life, and I see with my children, that uh my personality, even though it's uh m more a servant type and more a a background type, uh I I that doesn't control me. I can be in people's face, and I have been in people's face uh when I felt it was necessary. So I think that's the largest difference that I've seen, besides uh just uh you know, just uh s a lot of peace, uh a lot of peace in our house, and and peace is one of the great marks of the kingdom of God is having a a rest in relationship. Uh do you feel like the past experience still affects you today? No. What I've seen is that I am God's beloved in who in whom he is well pleased. I mean, that i i what I think about I'm right, I'm writing right now in the book of Jude, and and Jude says two things. He says, first, contend for the faith, and and I think the faith is a love of God because we just don't believe that God really loves us the way the Bible says he loves us. Uh and and and that really affects our sense of self or identity, and and we live out of the sense of who we are. But then it says, keep yourself in the love of God. And I've uh that's something that I've really made as a priority in my life in terms of uh as I think about myself and I think about other people, that you know, the people I engage with are are loved totally by God. And so um, you know, I I know we can look in our background and see things that have that we've uh stumbled on, uh sinned, uh uh but but if if what Jesus said on the cross, his last declaration after he before he uh committed himself to this father was it is finished. And so we have to take a look and see what was he talking about, and and he was talking about a whole lot more than forgiveness. He was talking about the restoration of God's image in me. Uh and as we look at Adam, uh Adam was made in God's image and he was to grow into his likeness. And so as I see my life, even sometimes when I lose it, you know, I'm saying, Lord, I'm uh I I lost it there. I I'm staying connected to you because Adam's problem was that uh he lost his connection with God. And so what Jesus came to do is to reconnect us, and then he said, Because we're sons, he has already given us his spirit which connects us to the Father. And so that's where I really uh that's really where I take my stand uh in in my own heart and as I encourage people. How else have you found other things that help you in your family? Prayer for sure. Uh, you know, uh that that is bedrock. Uh uh the Bible the Bible's alive. The Bible has come alive to me. I've what I do in my my book, I talk about meta stories where uh when we take a look at Adam and take a look at Peter, take a look at Abraham, these are stories by which we can interpret our life. So uh uh I I write every week. I have a blog that right now I'm writing through the book of Jude. And uh so the the word is is is is precious. Uh and also uh being in a community is precious. Uh we're part of definitely part of a church. I've been asked to to preach there. Um but more than that, we're part of a community group, and we're part of uh uh a small, we have uh three three people that meet on uh talking about more serious issues, you know what with some of the things we struggle with. And then I'm um uh I helped lead a uh a Bible study that uh we have uh 10 to 12 men that come every Saturday, and uh and the Bible study is really uniquely designed where uh we've designed it so that everyone leads. Uh so we've even had a a new believer three months into the faith lead the Bible study because we've we've uh it's it's not a teaching so much as opposed to you know bringing bringing the thought to the group and bringing verses to the group and the group sharing and and uh and I think that that's uh uh a very important way to to really engage the word is with uh in community.

SPEAKER_01 7:55

For a person who feels that their past is crippling their future, do you think your book can address their challenges if they read it? And after answering that, I will give you this opportunity before we close, because we're about to, to help our audience, whoever would want to buy your book, where can they find it?

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Sure, sure. Uh the book really is uh something that'll challenge your thinking because most people, most Christians still live from an I am not or I don't measure up mentality. And uh the fact of the matter is what Jesus did, he's he's caused us to measure up. And as we really see that, we can begin to grow into that. But um, but yeah, my book is found on Amazon or my website, which is tomanderson.in. Uh you can see actually my um uh all my weekly postings uh on the book of Jude right now is on there, uh, plus uh that book and uh also the other book I wrote, which was on uh the book of Ephesians. But I I I think again, uh it the one thing I'd leave leave your audience with is that you know when God really loves you in a way that you can't imagine, and the best thing that we can do is just say, God, I'm here. God, I don't get you. Uh I I I I I I want to know you. Uh and as Paul said, he he prayed that the eyes of our heart would be enlightened and opened, that w we might know the hope or the absolute assurance to which God has invited us into, which is sonship uh and and uh and our and our purpose in life. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

It's been a pleasure hosting you on this podcast. Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Thank you, Emmanuel.