Healing Isn’t Linear (And That’s Annoying Sometimes)

Healing doesn’t happen in a straight line.
 And if you’ve ever felt frustrated, discouraged, or “behind” because of that, you’re not alone.

In this episode of Connected Conversations, Vivia explores the reality of healing: the progress, the setbacks, and the messy middle we don’t talk about enough. With warmth, honesty, and a little humor, this conversation reminds you that growth isn’t about perfection, it’s about compassion, awareness, and continuing to show up.

Healing isn’t a staircase.
 It’s more like a toddler with a crayon.
 And even the scribbles count.

 In This Episode, We Talk About:

• Why healing isn’t linear, and why that’s actually okay
• How setbacks don’t erase your progress
• The difference between growth and growth shame
• Why being triggered doesn’t mean you’ve failed
• How to offer yourself grace instead of judgment
• What real progress actually looks like over time

 Reflection Questions to Sit With:

• Where am I being hard on myself for not being “further along”?
• What’s one way my healing shows up differently now than it used to?
• When I experience a setback, do I respond with shame or curiosity?
• If healing is a toddler with a crayon, where am I trying to force straight lines?
• What would grace for my process look like this week—practically

💛 Gentle Reminder:

You are not late.
 You are not broken.
 You are not failing.

You are becoming, and becoming takes time.

🌱 Stay Connected:

If this episode resonated with you, consider sharing it with someone who may need encouragement today.

Healing doesn’t have to be loud.
 Growth doesn’t have to be perfect.
 Sometimes it just looks like showing up.

Until next time—stay connected.

Connected Conversations is a heart-centered podcast hosted by Vivia M. Brown, Licensed Professional Counselor and life coach. Each episode creates space for honest conversations about mental health, healing, relationships, and personal growth—without the pressure to have it all together.

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency number or a crisis hotline in your area.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Hey, friends, and welcome to Connected Conversations. The space where we talk about real life, real emotions, and real growth without the pressure to have it all together. This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and not a substitute for therapy. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency number or a crisis hotline in your area. I'm your host, Vivia M. Brown, and here we keep it honest, a little humorous, and always heart-centered. So let's settle in together. Because today we're talking about something most of us need to hear more often. Healing does not happen in a straight line. And honestly, that's annoying sometimes. Because if healing were linear, we'd all be healed by now. There would be steps, a checklist, and at the end, you would get a congratulations, you're done, email. But sadly, healing doesn't work like that. It's not a straight line. It looks more like a toddler with a crayon drawing a bunch of squiggly lines in different directions. And once we accept that picture, we can start telling the truth about what healing actually looks like. We expect healing to look like feeling better every day. Never getting triggered again. Being over it once and for all.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

But real healing looks more like this. Two steps forward, one step back.

SPEAKER_01 3:05

A random emotional pothole, and a memory from ten years ago that shows up uninvited.

SPEAKER_00 3:17

If that's you, you're normal.

SPEAKER_01 3:24

Here is where many of us get stuck. We tend to believe healing should look neat. Like, once you grow, you shouldn't react the same way anymore. Once you've done the work, and I got air quotes, you can't see it, but I have air quotes up. You shouldn't feel triggered again. Healing does not erase your humanity. It teaches you how to meet it differently. That is why healing can feel so confusing. Because some days you feel strong, grounded, clear. And then there are other days something small hits a nerve, and you think, why am I still here? There is space for both in the same healing journey. For those of you who don't know, I lost my brother in April of last year. Unexpectedly. And I will tell you that there are days when everything is fine. And then there are days where something small hits a nerve. Both are existing in the same healing journey.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

And both is okay.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

So here is where I want to slow us down for a moment. And let's get really clear. A setback does not erase your progress. I'm gonna say it again. A setback does not erase your progress. You did not fail at healing. You did not lose ground. You did not undo the work. Remember, progress is not about perfection. And progress looks like noticing triggers faster, recovering quicker, responding differently, even if it's not perfect. Old you spiraled for two weeks. New you spiraled for twenty minutes, and then drink some water.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

That is growth.

SPEAKER_01 7:16

And yet, even with growth, a lot of people carry shame when healing isn't perfect for them. They say things like, I should be further along. Why am I still here? Why am I still dealing with this? I know better than this. Let me gently say this. You heard it earlier. Growth does not erase your humanity. Healing gives you more awareness. It does not give you immunity from hard moments. So instead of asking, how am I back here again? Try asking, what is this teaching me now? Because you're not starting over, you're starting from experience. Each time you revisit something, you're doing it with more tools, more insight, and more self-compassion. And that matters. Before you go, take a breath and sit with these questions. You don't have to answer them perfectly, only honestly. So ask yourself, where am I being hard on myself for not being further along? What is one way my healing shows up differently now than it used to? When I have a setback, how do I respond? Do I respond with shame or curiosity? If healing is a toddler with a crayon, where am I trying to force those straight lines? What would grace for my process look like this week? And think about this in a practical way. Now sit with these questions and notice what you come up with. And if you feel behind today, hear this clearly. You are healing in real time with real emotions, real history, and real courage. Even the scribbles count. Thank you all so much for being here with me today. And remember, healing is not a straight line. It is more like a toddler with a crayon. Scribbles everywhere, every direction. Some days you feel strong. Some days you feel triggered. Both can exist in the same healing journey. Setbacks don't erase progress. They reveal where compassion is still needed. You are not behind, you are not failing, you are becoming.