Is There Such a Thing as Levels to Lying?

We’ve all heard of “little white lies”… but are they really harmless?

In today’s episode, we explore the idea that lying isn’t always black and white—there are layers to it. From small everyday omissions to deeper forms of dishonesty rooted in fear, this conversation invites you to look at truth, trust, and connection in a more honest way.

This isn’t about judgment—it is about awareness, growth, and learning how to show up more authentically in your relationships and within yourself.

 What We Talk About

•  What “lying” really looks like in everyday life 
•  The difference between white lies, omission, and deeper deception 
•  Why we lie (hint: it’s often about protection, not intention to harm) 
•  How dishonesty—big or small—impacts trust and connection 
•  The role of emotional safety in telling the truth 
•  How to move toward honesty in a healthy, respectful way 

Key Takeaways

•  Lying often comes from a place of fear or self-protection, not just deception 
•  Even small, repeated dishonesty can create distance in relationships
•  Withholding truth can be just as impactful as telling a lie 
• Honesty builds freedom—less anxiety, more alignment 
•  You deserve relationships where you feel safe being real 
•  Growth starts with awareness, not perfection 

Reflection Questions

Take a moment to check in with yourself:

•  When do I tend to avoid telling the full truth? 
•  What am I trying to protect in those moments? 
•  Do I feel safe being honest in my relationships? Why or why not? 
•  What would it look like for me to practice honesty in a gentle, respectful way this week? 

Try This This Week

•  Pause before responding—give yourself space to choose honesty 
•  Replace “I’m fine” with something more real (even if it’s simple) 
•  Practice naming your feelings without over-explaining 
•  Choose clarity over avoidance, even in small moments 

Words to Hold Onto

“Honesty isn’t about perfection—it’s about alignment.”

📢 Let’s Stay Connected

If this episode resonated with you:

•  Share it with someone who could use this conversation 
•  Take a moment to reflect and apply one takeaway this week 
•  Continue the conversation, your growth matters

Connected Conversations is a heart-centered podcast hosted by Vivia M. Brown, Licensed Professional Counselor and life coach. Each episode creates space for honest conversations about mental health, healing, relationships, and personal growth—without the pressure to have it all together.

This podcast is for educational and inspirational purposes only and is not a substitute for therapy. If you are in crisis or need immediate support, please contact your local emergency number or a crisis hotline in your area.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

Hey y'all. Welcome back to Connective Conversation. And I am really glad you're here today because this one, this one is going to make you think a little bit. I'm your host, Vivia M. Brown, and today we are talking about lying. But not just lying in the obvious sense. I want to ask you this. Do you think that there are levels to lying? Like, is a little lie really little? Or is it all the same at the end of the day? Just sit with that for a second. Because if we're being honest, most people don't walk around thinking, I'm a liar, I'm a liar. But what is real is that we do bend the truth sometimes. We soften things, we leave things out. Sometimes we avoid saying certain things altogether. And a lot of times, it's not even about being a bad person. It's about trying to protect something like your peace, your feelings, someone else's reaction, or even sometimes your image. So when I think about levels to lie in, I don't think about it in a judgmental way. I think about it like layers. Like you've got those little moments where you say something just to keep things smooth. Like, I'm good. Or I'm on the way. Even saying that didn't bother me. And deep down, you know it's not fully true. Then you've got those moments where you don't necessarily lie, but you don't tell the full story either. You leave pieces out. And we tell ourselves, well, I didn't lie. But if someone doesn't have the full truth, they're still responding to something that you've said that is incomplete. And I believe at the end of the day, that matters. So let's think about those deeper moments. When you're not being honest because you're afraid. You're afraid of losing someone. You're afraid of being misunderstood. You're afraid of what the truth might change. And I want to slow down here for a second. Because this part, this is where a lot of us live. Not because we want to deceive anyone, but because we don't always feel safe being fully seen. But here's the thing. Even when the intention isn't bad, it can still affect connection. Because relationships are built on trust. And trust isn't just about not lying big, it is about consistency in truth, even in the small moments. And if I can't fully trust what you are saying, or you can't fully trust what you are saying, that creates distance. Sometimes quiet distance. But distance all the same. So I want you to think about this gently. When you feel yourself not being fully honest, not judging yourself, just noticing. Is it when you're overwhelmed? When you don't want conflict, when you don't want to disappoint someone, or maybe when you don't feel like your truth will be received well. Because sometimes it is not just about the behavior, it is about the environment. You deserve spaces where you don't have to filter your truth to feel accepted. You deserve relationships where honesty doesn't cost you connection. And also, there's power in learning how to tell the truth in a way that is both real and respectful. It doesn't have to be harsh. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be honest. And I encourage you, if you're working on this, let's be real. Start small. Instead of saying, I'm fine, try saying I'm not ready to talk yet. But I will be soon. Instead of avoiding something, try naming it gently. That is growth. That is you choosing alignment over avoidance. So are there levels to lying? Yeah. I believe there are. But more than that, there are levels to awareness, levels to honesty, levels to growth. And wherever you are right now, you are allowed to grow from there. No shame, just awareness and intention. So thank you for sitting with me in this conversation. And if it resonated with you, send it to someone you love or take a moment and just reflect on it for yourself. This is Vivia with Connective Conversations, where growth meets connection and healing begins. Talk to you soon.