You Didn't Forgive Them... Be Honest.

Episode 10.

Most podcasts don’t make it this far… but we did.

And instead of celebrating with something light, we leaned into something real:

Can you actually forgive?

Not the version people post about…
Not the “we’re good now” version…
The real kind.

The kind where:
 • the trust is still broken
 • the memory still hurts
 • and nothing goes back to how it was

We break down the truth about forgiveness:

Forgiveness isn’t a feeling.
It’s a decision.

It doesn’t erase consequences.
And it definitely doesn’t restore everything.

Most importantly…
forgiveness means someone absorbs the cost.

The question is — who pays?

Episode 10 is full of surprises, glitches but were committed to delivering  your favorite pod to you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_12 0:18

Hello and welcome to our tenth our tenth installment of the wholesome menace podcast. Hello, welcome. Chris Marie, Risa Lynn, Stefan. We're here. We did it.

SPEAKER_10 0:35

10 episodes. We're fucking lit.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Yeah. Cheers, brother.

SPEAKER_10 0:39

We're actually here. Cheers for that. Cheers me for real. 10th episode.

unknown 0:43

Ding!

SPEAKER_12 0:44

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_10 0:45

Again, statistically, most podcasts don't make it past seven.

SPEAKER_12 0:50

That's crazy. That's what I'm hearing.

SPEAKER_10 0:53

Yeah, I mean we'll crush that.

SPEAKER_12 0:55

Yeah. And don't plan on stopping. No. Sometimes soon.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

It's too fun.

SPEAKER_12 1:02

It's amazing. It's a good time. I mean, look, we can do whatever we want.

SPEAKER_02 1:06

We can do whatever we want. Right. Except I can't drink wine because I'm on a blood thinner. That's why my glass is so full. Because I'm drinking for the both things. Thank you. Thank you. I took one for you. We're celebrating appreciation. You hear me? Yeah. We're celebrating things.

SPEAKER_12 1:23

Yeah. Health first, we love you. Thank you. I love you. I know it makes sense. Thank you for all the place.

SPEAKER_13 1:28

I'm happy for you. I love wine.

SPEAKER_10 1:30

Out here. Supporting our show, bro. Yeah, for sure. We love you guys.

SPEAKER_02 1:39

I'm so very grateful. We go together real bad.

SPEAKER_10 1:43

I know that there were some people who are just like out there.

SPEAKER_02 1:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:49

Some fellow menaces.

SPEAKER_02 1:51

Mm-hmm. For sure.

SPEAKER_10 1:53

Yeah. They're fucking with us. I really couldn't pinpoint who it was gonna be, though. And that's just the point. Our tribe is just gonna gravitate to us. I'm so great. We love you guys. Thank you so much for supporting the channel.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

For everybody who shows newbies, oldies.

SPEAKER_12 2:13

This is great. We have some really great announcements. I'm letting this shit out before we even get started. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:20

That's right.

SPEAKER_12 2:21

Because I'm telling you, I ain't got nothing but gratitude today, brother. You just gotta worry about the attitude.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

So the wholesome menace podcast recently signed a deal. Let's go. With Hype Media Global. Yeah, shout out to them for reaching out to us. For real. Nicole, you're awesome.

SPEAKER_12 2:49

Yeah, you're smart, you're dope. Patient patient for sure. Yeah. We appreciate it. But yeah, been but we're very grateful. And the transparency and everything with the contract has been great. Yeah, guys, we signed a contract. Our first contract. What have we got? First contract. You want to say we were not expecting this?

SPEAKER_02 3:11

No, absolutely not.

SPEAKER_12 3:13

We're just here ground up.

SPEAKER_10 3:16

The whole menus is going to FM radio. Yes.

SPEAKER_12 3:19

W Dj Y 99.1 FM in Atlanta. Yes.

SPEAKER_10 3:25

Y'all know I live in Atlanta mentally.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

I'm like, you're dope. Like what? I could see that for you.

SPEAKER_10 3:34

For sure. Living in Atlanta?

SPEAKER_13 3:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 3:37

It might be fun.

SPEAKER_13 3:38

Yeah. Yeah. Might be.

SPEAKER_10 3:41

That's awesome. Let's do it.

SPEAKER_13 3:43

Yeah, guys.

SPEAKER_02 3:45

10th episode.

SPEAKER_12 3:47

Radio station deal. I'm not going to Atlanta, but I'll visit for sure. I'm a New York girly through and through. It is what it is. Oh, we know. Yeah, right. Yeah, guys. Deal. We're fucking excited. This is great. We love you guys. Thanks for the support and the help and the for sure. You know, keeping it. We're going to keep on keeping on with the content.

SPEAKER_02 4:17

NAF. Let me comment. Let me comment. Gonna be in here sweating. Sweating.

SPEAKER_12 4:24

I'm gonna take it all. I'm gonna take it all. I'm gonna take this big ass coat off. I just had to show y'all. I meant big business, and I'm coming here stunt. 10th episode. Right. Radio deal. How can I not? How can we not? Right. I need you guys to stunt with me.

SPEAKER_10 4:39

What else are we gonna talk about? Everything. Nico, we got a deal.

SPEAKER_12 4:45

A deal. I cried, guys. You guys know I cried. This is really important for us. All right.

SPEAKER_10 4:51

Again, I say this all the time. I like social media. I just don't want to do it for free anymore. I enjoy the space that we get to go and be creative and all the things.

SPEAKER_02 5:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 5:02

We're all on it. But I need that check.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

For sure.

SPEAKER_10 5:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

And run it.

SPEAKER_10 5:08

Yeah, here we are.

SPEAKER_12 5:09

They like our stuff.

SPEAKER_10 5:10

Let's do a dozen more.

SPEAKER_12 5:12

Yeah. Let's do it. Let's do 20 dozen more. For sure. We're not stopping. Wait and see what I do for episode 100. You think this is crazy?

SPEAKER_02 5:22

Can't wait. And now I'm feeling real good.

SPEAKER_12 5:41

For shout.

SPEAKER_03 5:46

Now I'm getting hot.

SPEAKER_10 5:47

Tell me one thing that you're grateful for. One thing.

SPEAKER_12 5:57

I'm grateful. Damn, I'm grateful for a lot these days.

SPEAKER_10 6:03

That's good.

SPEAKER_12 6:05

I'm grateful. I probably said this before, but for the work and dedication we're putting into this. I'm grateful just having this podcast. It's really a blast. Yeah. And it's bringing great things. And I'm grateful. Hype Global Media Global. Shout out to you guys. Shout out to us.

SPEAKER_02 6:29

For sure. For creating the things to get us.

SPEAKER_08 6:33

Went to the page, looked at the website. Yeah. Shout out to you guys.

SPEAKER_12 6:38

I'm grateful. Grateful for you guys. Yeah, of course. Always that we're doing. Always. You guys are gonna get sick of me hearing that. Uh sick of me saying that. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 6:48

I'm all over the place. I'm excited. It's tears. It's okay. A little heavy. Heavy is the crown. Like, you can't even see it. My headphones had a oh, heavy is the head. Yeah, the head is heavy. I ain't gonna be brain. But yeah, I'm grateful for all this shit. Um, not to be like super heavy, but I am grateful for my godsister, honestly. Um two times lost my apartment, and she let me and my kids live with her in her big house.

SPEAKER_12 7:27

House is huge, shout out to Anthony.

SPEAKER_02 7:29

Yeah, so for sure grateful for her.

SPEAKER_10 7:33

Big time, yeah. She's awesome, actually. Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say it's different for your mom. Yeah, she's so awesome.

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yeah, she is. Yeah, she's the best.

SPEAKER_10 7:46

Literally, something very special about that woman. Yeah, for sure. And in the last six weeks, I've just been just propsy mother. Yeah, it's been nice, you know. Yeah, and I'm just grateful for that.

SPEAKER_13 8:00

I love that. Yeah, yeah, she will do that for sure. Naturally, even naturally, I think.

SPEAKER_12 8:07

Yeah, yeah, it won't hold it.

SPEAKER_02 8:10

Doesn't even try.

SPEAKER_12 8:11

Right.

SPEAKER_10 8:12

I receive it.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

I love that. Yeah, I love her.

SPEAKER_10 8:17

Mommy! Yeah, something I want to say, and I appreciate you, this song. I do.

SPEAKER_02 8:26

We all do.

unknown 8:27

I love you.

SPEAKER_02 8:28

Let's make that clear. It's mine.

SPEAKER_12 8:31

I'm not sure. It's my mommy. No, we can share. She's lovable. We're lovable, and we love you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 8:38

My mom.

SPEAKER_07 8:40

Yes.

SPEAKER_13 8:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 8:43

That's all I have for attitude and gratitude today.

SPEAKER_09 8:48

I'm glad somebody else messed up their words. That wine took a swing.

SPEAKER_03 8:53

I don't even think it's the wine for me.

SPEAKER_09 8:54

I'm just thinking like, do we're here.

SPEAKER_02 8:59

Yeah. Yeah. For sure. Just gotta get it all out.

SPEAKER_12 9:02

All of it.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Yeah. Deal 10. Deal 10. Excitement. I love it. So now goodness. This came quick today.

unknown 9:19

Quick.

SPEAKER_09 9:20

Here we go.

SPEAKER_02 9:21

Stop yo ass. Just kidding. Just kidding.

SPEAKER_12 9:26

I like the competition.

SPEAKER_10 9:28

She's just really good at it, and I'm not.

SPEAKER_02 9:31

So it's you'll get you'll get better.

SPEAKER_10 9:33

I think she knew this before we actually got it.

SPEAKER_12 9:36

I did not. I had no clue. Still think she's looking at my shit.

SPEAKER_10 9:42

Conspiracy theorist. I'm not looking at it.

unknown 9:47

Shit.

SPEAKER_02 9:48

Nobody looking at that mess. Okay.

SPEAKER_12 9:51

Here we go. You ready? You ready? Mm-hmm. Cool.

SPEAKER_06 9:55

What do you possibly think you know about love? You know, I'm sick and tired of men using love like it's some kind of disease you just catch. Love! Should have brought your ass home last night.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

Love? What is that? I know you ain't probably ain't even seen it. I know what it's called.

SPEAKER_10 10:16

Why did I get married?

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Absolutely not. That's Halle Berry sucker with Eddie Murphy. I just gave you the movie. If you gave it to him, why aren't you giving it to me? Well, I don't know the name of it right now. But I'm just saying, like, I just told him the cast, so ain't no way you can't guess that unless you didn't see it. Should I play it again?

SPEAKER_12 10:41

Yeah, play it again.

SPEAKER_06 10:43

What do you possibly think you know about love? You know, I'm so tired of men using love like it's something a disease. You just get love. Should have brought your ass home last night.

SPEAKER_02 10:57

I cannot believe this is happening to me right now. Yeah, this is Marcus.

SPEAKER_12 11:02

I don't know. Marcus, darling. Easiest one ever.

SPEAKER_13 11:06

I don't have any panties on.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

This bitch saying everything but the title.

SPEAKER_10 11:13

I want to say Harlem Knights, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

For sure not.

SPEAKER_10 11:16

Well.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Good movie, though. Damn. One more time, girl, just so I can hear it.

SPEAKER_10 11:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Don't do it.

SPEAKER_10 11:27

I deserve that.

SPEAKER_02 11:29

I I was trying to do it. So this is embarrassing. You guys, I really know what the movie is called, but it's just not coming to mind.

SPEAKER_06 11:37

I'm sick and tired of men using love like it's some kind of disease you just catch. Love! Should have brought your ass home last night.

SPEAKER_02 11:45

I cannot believe that happened.

SPEAKER_12 11:48

Was your third one?

SPEAKER_13 11:58

I'm not gonna get it.

SPEAKER_10 11:59

Me either. Just drawn away my sorrows.

SPEAKER_02 12:04

Just tell me. Boomerang! Yes, are you kidding me? I know they're probably like, are you ashamed of you? You should be. I'm ashamed. I'm embarrassed. I'm surprised. I'm embarrassed.

SPEAKER_12 12:19

Love Jones. I didn't see that on the last episode. You've probably seen this movie. I don't know how many times.

SPEAKER_02 12:25

Yeah, for sure. Them toast.

SPEAKER_10 12:30

Boomerang.

SPEAKER_13 12:31

It gave you the actors. Love show as home last night.

SPEAKER_12 12:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 12:38

Be welcome.

SPEAKER_12 12:40

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_10 12:42

I'm useless.

SPEAKER_12 12:44

That sucks.

SPEAKER_10 12:45

All right. You don't gotta stay here.

SPEAKER_01 12:49

Oh, you don't want me to agree?

SPEAKER_10 12:51

Yeah, I do. I need it.

unknown 12:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 12:55

Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

But that's terrible in the chat.

SPEAKER_04 13:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

Like, are you serious?

SPEAKER_02 13:17

I don't care.

SPEAKER_10 13:19

Why do I know that's not? I don't know.

SPEAKER_13 13:21

Good for you.

SPEAKER_02 13:22

I love that on good job, Stefan. I'm doing bad tonight.

SPEAKER_10 13:34

You just missed two.

SPEAKER_02 13:35

Can't win them all. Cut the tape. She's on the heel.

SPEAKER_10 13:40

Now we gotta cut the tape. I'm gonna pack my shit and down. It's episode 10. A lot's bound to happen. Shit's going down.

SPEAKER_12 13:50

Alright. Next quote.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

You know what? I never checked out.

SPEAKER_05 14:04

Your father's gone.

SPEAKER_10 14:12

Fucking love that movie.

SPEAKER_12 14:13

Yo. I shouldn't I should put it every time.

SPEAKER_02 14:17

How about it? That's blue pieces.

SPEAKER_05 14:25

You know what? Stereo is a boat. Your father's stereo blows? That's too bad.

SPEAKER_02 14:39

Yo, that's funny as hell.

SPEAKER_09 14:42

Your father's stereo blows. That's crazy, bro.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

Damn, what do I do? Another two? What did I just do? Yeah, you do another two of the six. Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_08 14:51

Are you running the show?

SPEAKER_10 14:52

Two for two.

SPEAKER_08 14:53

All the expensive.

SPEAKER_10 14:55

Yes. A lot's bound to happen on the 10th of 200.

SPEAKER_13 14:59

Yeah, good for you.

SPEAKER_10 15:00

I'll be getting shit on in this game. I'm taking all my chips.

SPEAKER_09 15:40

Sweet love. Anita Baker. Anita Baker, there it is.

SPEAKER_02 15:50

Yeah, yeah, that'd be them instrumentals for sure. I'll be like, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know what that could be. Oh, that was good. Yeah. Anita Baker. Yeah. I'm gonna listen to that song on the way home. I think I will too.

SPEAKER_04 16:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 16:18

And then calling the chin.

SPEAKER_09 16:24

Yeah, that's what you got. Very good.

SPEAKER_12 16:29

It doesn't matter. You feel it when you feel it when you sing it. It doesn't matter. She could have been saying sweet cheese.

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_10 16:40

That's it. I did great name that tune in that tune.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

You did.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Good job.

SPEAKER_10 16:51

Thank you. Yeah. Little buddy. I don't know if that was her taking it easy on me or.

SPEAKER_02 16:55

No, you did good. I didn't know that shit. I knew boomerang, but. Click was. And Anita Baker, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_10 17:03

That was a good one.

SPEAKER_02 17:05

Click.

SPEAKER_10 17:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:06

Yeah, you had to think about it.

SPEAKER_10 17:07

I had to think about that one.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

Good. You got it pretty quick. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 17:12

Because I've heard that.

SPEAKER_12 17:13

Your father cereals blew.

SPEAKER_02 17:16

That's not what I said. That shit's hilarious.

SPEAKER_07 17:19

That's mad funny. Hey. Delusion Olympics.

SPEAKER_03 17:24

I'm really ready.

SPEAKER_07 17:26

Here we are. Welcome. Here we are. Here we are. Here we go.

unknown 17:36

Bro.

SPEAKER_02 17:37

Welcome to the Delusion Olympics. Thanks for having us. You're welcome. Thank you for being here. I love it. Seriously. Episode 10.

SPEAKER_10 17:46

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 17:47

Segment three. Yo. I cannot.

SPEAKER_11 17:55

I know.

SPEAKER_02 17:56

All right, who's ready? I was born ready. You don't want love. You want reassurance. You're lovable.

SPEAKER_11 18:11

That's a delusional. That's delusional.

SPEAKER_09 18:15

Yeah, that's a lot.

SPEAKER_11 18:16

That's a habit.

SPEAKER_09 18:19

That is a lot.

SPEAKER_13 18:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 18:25

Might be delusional.

SPEAKER_13 18:26

Could be. Sounds it to me.

SPEAKER_10 18:30

You want that reassurance. The external validation. Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 18:39

But are you?

SPEAKER_03 18:42

I mean, if you're looking for that, you need that.

SPEAKER_10 18:45

You might not be for that kind of or you you're that's misplaced.

SPEAKER_02 18:53

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_10 18:55

Yeah, because you that needs to come from inside you.

SPEAKER_02 18:57

Yeah. Yeah. There's something that is missing, maybe, within your self-love if you're trying to get reassurance.

unknown 19:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:07

Instead of actually wanting. But do you love yourself?

unknown 19:14

Right.

SPEAKER_02 19:15

Right. Let's start there.

SPEAKER_12 19:18

Loving yourself.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

That's a great place to start. Makes you more lovable, I think. Absolutely. Yeah. And it makes you okay without it.

SPEAKER_10 19:26

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 19:28

So.

SPEAKER_10 19:29

You're okay. You are.

SPEAKER_02 19:33

Are you loved correctly? Or just consistently around each other? That's a conclusion.

SPEAKER_10 19:44

Yeah, because you could be in the building and not intentional at all.

SPEAKER_13 19:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 19:52

That's real.

SPEAKER_13 19:53

Yeah. Is this progressing?

SPEAKER_02 19:55

Are we moving forward? Do we want to? What are we doing? If you are loving each other correctly, I love that for you. Yeah. Congrats. Yeah. Last one. Would you rather have intimacy driven by desire, validation, or attachment?

SPEAKER_10 20:20

I want desire.

SPEAKER_02 20:23

Yeah, if I had to choose. Yeah, but I don't need validation. At all. Or attachment. Valid.

SPEAKER_10 20:33

I think they follow each other.

SPEAKER_02 20:37

Yeah. I don't need it though. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 20:40

I don't need your validation.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

I need you to want me. I need you don't want me. Uh-huh. Yeah. I like that.

unknown 20:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:53

Okay. We're gonna listen to some shit later. Wait, let's just get it out so we can sing the song for real. Yes. Well, that's all I got for Would You Rather?

SPEAKER_10 21:08

I love that. What's that?

SPEAKER_02 21:11

Yeah, because after she read that, I'm like, that sounds like a episode intense. She ain't even drinking a while. Wait, wait, wait, I got one more. I I picked that up. Let me let me take it. Cut the tape. Yo, every time she says that, we gotta fucking yo. Yeah. Here we go. Last one, last one for real. This time. You want deep connection, but shallow responsibility.

SPEAKER_12 21:46

Delusion.

SPEAKER_02 21:48

Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_12 21:50

Narcissistic.

SPEAKER_02 21:51

It's really fucked up. Yeah. You're a dick. Okay. Yeah, I can agree. Why would you that's dickish? Yeah. That's dickish. That's not cool. Big time.

SPEAKER_08 22:10

At all.

SPEAKER_09 22:11

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_02 22:14

All right. Gave you a little taste of would you rather? But that was it for the delusion.

SPEAKER_04 22:23

That's it.

SPEAKER_02 22:23

Just a little sleepy. Stay tuned. What the helly? That's funny. Did they put in these cupcakes? Yeah, blame it on the cupcake. Oh, hilarious.

SPEAKER_12 22:45

Yeah, Stephon. That wine was good.

SPEAKER_10 22:47

Just bust that thing. What is going on tonight? I was waiting all night for that. Thirsty.

SPEAKER_02 23:09

Yo, cup, run it through.

SPEAKER_10 23:14

And it will.

SPEAKER_04 23:16

Oh. Stop.

SPEAKER_10 23:20

Ladies, I have a question for me on topic today. Yeah, yeah, I'm locking. I guess it's a bit because you guys are lighthearted.

SPEAKER_04 23:32

All right.

SPEAKER_10 23:34

Do you think? Do you think I hate to bring it serious to seriousness? No, please. I never think people can actually forgive.

SPEAKER_02 23:50

Don't worry. I think so. Damn.

SPEAKER_10 23:54

I disagree. Or rather, I think we have a very shallow understanding of forgiveness.

SPEAKER_13 24:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 24:03

That I think by and large, most people don't forgive.

SPEAKER_02 24:08

Yeah. Yeah, most people don't. It's easier to stay mad. In their minds, maybe.

SPEAKER_10 24:16

Yeah. Yeah. Uh I think that mainly forgiveness is not something that you feel. It's something that you do.

SPEAKER_13 24:29

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 24:31

It's an attitude that you adopt. And forgiveness is you absorbing the debt that the person owes for betraying or for causing a circumstance. You gotta take it in and then cancel it. And then not choose to treat them.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

Right. Now the shit go into collections.

SPEAKER_10 24:56

Can't even do that. Wiped clean. Yeah. That's for giving it. Absorbing it and pretending.

SPEAKER_02 25:04

Are we pretending?

SPEAKER_10 25:06

This is why I say people can't really forgive it.

SPEAKER_02 25:08

Maybe not everybody's pretending. Maybe it's you. You know, I'm I'm just saying, like, should be situational, like I always say, but it's like everybody's not gonna like just be pretending, like, yeah, yeah, forgive them, you know. Fuck that nigga. You know what I'm saying? Like, everybody's not like some people really just be like, okay. I've had to do it.

SPEAKER_04 25:32

Let it go.

SPEAKER_02 25:33

Let it go. I'm not gonna sit here and stay mad.

SPEAKER_09 25:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

Every single day, especially when I know I have to deal with you again.

SPEAKER_10 25:45

Yeah. Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:47

What am I staying mad for?

SPEAKER_10 25:50

You have to entertain space around that person after an offense.

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Right. Even when you're not sorry. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing that for me, for my peace of mind. So I can just, and not only that, I I like to, I don't like to make excuses for people, but I do like to be understanding to where people are mentally in those times and during their journeys, whether they accomplish growth or not at that period of time, things they experience to make them behave in this way. So it's not always just about like I'm just mad at you because you did this. I I like to try and put a little perspective behind maybe why, and people have given me that grace as well. So um, I don't just like to crucify now. If you're doing some shit that you just know and it's like repetitive, then that's a little different, yeah. But um there are certain things that I can give you a little grace on. Yeah, nice.

SPEAKER_10 27:06

That's good.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

That's just me.

SPEAKER_10 27:11

What about you in person?

SPEAKER_12 27:13

I like to think in my mind that I forgive people because I don't want the burden of always thinking about what you did to hurt me or what you did to cause detriment to our relationship, whatever that relationship might be. I don't want that thought to always cause me pain or cause me anger. So it is important to forgive. We were actually having a conversation about this, and I said how I feel like I forgave, you know, baby's daddy for things, and then I'm like, but damn, have I? Because then I get triggered when he does certain things.

SPEAKER_02 28:03

So that's something that's not healed. Okay. I would think if you're being triggered by maybe trigger's a strong word, but it's he it pisses me off, so it's triggered. Yeah. Not now. Yeah, so some things do still trigger me, so that had me question do I forgive him?

SPEAKER_12 28:34

But I snap right, I don't hold on to grudges. Like, even if he pisses me off, I'll call him the next day and joke around. You know, that's I would never do that before. So I don't know. I feel like it's some a lot of forgiveness in there.

SPEAKER_10 28:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 28:51

For the most part.

SPEAKER_10 28:54

I guess I asked this question because I don't know if I have mastered that yet.

SPEAKER_13 29:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 29:02

I wanna say that I forgave and I did it for me, and I'm releasing myself from whatever the person did for me. But at the end of the day, I that shit you can't unknow a thing.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Right.

SPEAKER_10 29:22

Could you choose to let it go per se? Yes, but now I'm going to act differently with you.

SPEAKER_13 29:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 29:30

You no longer have access to me. And it's up. That's warranted. So I can't really say that. Again, I'm learning what true forgiveness looks like.

SPEAKER_02 29:44

Forgiveness doesn't mean that you still get to have access.

SPEAKER_12 29:51

I agree at all. Forgiveness is for you most of the time, solely for you. Yeah. Especially if you can't get through to the other person. You need to just find your own.

SPEAKER_10 30:08

I agree.

SPEAKER_13 30:10

Do you have a definition?

SPEAKER_10 30:12

For forgiveness?

SPEAKER_13 30:13

Yeah, would you like to? I do like it. I know you do like to do your words.

SPEAKER_01 30:17

Yes.

SPEAKER_13 30:18

Word of the day is forgiveness.

SPEAKER_10 30:23

Forgiveness is a voluntary, intentional release of resentment, anger, and vengeance towards someone who caused harm, improving mental and physical health. It does not require reconciliation, forgetting, or condoning the offense. Benefits include reduced anxiety, low blood pressure, and better relationships. While challenges often involve overcoming deep ingrained pain and letting go of the desire for justice.

SPEAKER_12 31:02

I forgave. I can say that I forgave.

SPEAKER_10 31:06

Based on the definition for sure. For sure.

SPEAKER_12 31:09

Because a bitch was out for blood at a point. I forgave.

unknown 31:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 31:16

I feel good about that.

SPEAKER_13 31:18

You should keep your stress low.

SPEAKER_10 31:22

So I guess people can forgive.

SPEAKER_11 31:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 31:26

If you let go of the desire to get back blood.

SPEAKER_12 31:34

It's way less stressful.

SPEAKER_02 31:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 31:38

Feels better. Feels lighter.

SPEAKER_02 31:40

And I'm sure a lot of times that forgiveness is being it's like happening even when these people aren't sorry for the things that they did. For sure. So doesn't mean you get closure, it just means you're able to live your life.

SPEAKER_10 32:06

Yeah, that's why I said like taking that debt in.

unknown 32:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 32:11

Especially if somebody caused you offense. Right. You're absorbing it and canceling out. And then choosing not to treat them as if they're guilty.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

Right.

SPEAKER_10 32:23

Though they are.

unknown 32:25

Someone caused me a great offense.

SPEAKER_10 32:28

Yeah. It's a lot. I would say that most people aren't forgiving.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Yeah. I actually never forgave that.

SPEAKER_13 32:47

Forgave.

SPEAKER_02 32:49

You got something.

SPEAKER_13 32:51

Yeah, I'm not gonna share it.

SPEAKER_12 32:53

But well then don't say it out loud. But you got it.

SPEAKER_10 32:58

It's something to consider.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

Yeah. It's something that you never forgave.

SPEAKER_10 33:02

I've been thinking about that in my own life. Like shit that I just been holding on to. Which is why prompted this question. Because why am I treating this person this type of way?

SPEAKER_13 33:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 33:17

Why do I feel they have to pay? Or it's not enough. You know?

SPEAKER_13 33:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 33:27

That type of thing.

SPEAKER_12 33:29

Yeah. People do certain things that make you feel like that, make you question that. It's human.

SPEAKER_10 33:37

Yeah. But letting go is the intentional piece. For sure. Let me go, let it go, let it go. Okay, also.

SPEAKER_02 33:53

Do you wanna build a snowman? No, no, no.

SPEAKER_10 33:59

I fucking love that song.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

I love it. It's so cute. So cute.

SPEAKER_10 34:05

Okay, bye.

SPEAKER_02 34:07

So cute. I love it. Insane. Now he knows all these. Yeah. Right. What about the grown-up movies, brother? That was a nothing. You know nothing.

SPEAKER_10 34:20

I know nothing. That's all I have for a main topic, guys. Learning to forgive. Yeah. I'm learning how to do it.

SPEAKER_12 34:28

Yeah. I forgive you suckers. I forgive.

SPEAKER_09 34:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

C I L L my landlord.

SPEAKER_12 34:46

Uh what the heck is that? I'm sorry. Sound like someone was going out. Anyway. Cut the tape.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

Goodness gracious.

SPEAKER_01 35:04

We're here.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

We like ran here.

SPEAKER_01 35:09

That's the hot seat.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

I'm feeling like that too. Like we're getting. I thought our little skate in the beginning was like, all right, we're gonna have some extra minutes. We're getting through this thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 35:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:21

Better before I get drunk. Like Stefan. I'm I'm yeah, Stefan. Smacked.

SPEAKER_12 35:32

I'm sorry, I'm not prepared. What you have for us today.

SPEAKER_02 35:40

Sing him a song. Sing him a song.

SPEAKER_12 35:45

Oh, I'm sorry. My notes are locked. My notes are lopped for reasons that you all know why. She swears.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

Yeah, she really does.

SPEAKER_12 35:57

So anyway, mostly Risa. Um questions. I didn't even get my bowl again. We really said fuck the bowl.

SPEAKER_02 36:09

No, we're gonna bring that motherfucker over here. I'll grab it. Is it over there?

SPEAKER_12 36:16

It's over there. Let me double check. No, it's definitely on the table.

SPEAKER_02 36:22

It is? Yeah. Do I have a phone?

SPEAKER_01 36:34

It's the hot seat.

SPEAKER_11 36:36

Dang!

SPEAKER_03 36:40

Cheese. I hate cheating.

SPEAKER_13 36:51

I'm ready.

SPEAKER_12 36:56

I'm glad you're ready because you're actually gonna go. Oh goodness.

SPEAKER_02 37:01

In my big mouth.

SPEAKER_09 37:07

I love this strawberry so bad. Trying to be a downer about it, but yeah, you should have brought a fork over.

unknown 37:14

Yeah, it's okay.

SPEAKER_12 37:16

Who's more likely to settle and resent it? Men or women.

SPEAKER_02 37:24

I can't speak from for a man. I'm not settling, so I don't know. Damn, if I had to choose, I think a man.

SPEAKER_10 37:39

I don't think so.

SPEAKER_02 37:40

I do.

SPEAKER_10 37:42

I think we love you guys to death.

SPEAKER_02 37:45

Now say there's a woman you loved.

SPEAKER_10 37:49

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

And didn't work out. Find another girl you like. But you don't love her like that, like the last one. And you go ahead and marry her and keep looking for shorty in the new one. And you're not getting that. You just okay with that? You're gonna settle and just be fine with that.

SPEAKER_10 38:21

We're just talking about this. You can't compete where you can't compare.

SPEAKER_12 38:26

Yeah. Why do you think men I think it's an all-around thing? Go ahead.

SPEAKER_10 38:36

Women move the relationship from a sexual perspective. We want you guys because of that. Right? We don't get that from other places unless you play for another camp, which we want that. So a man is bound to stand in a relationship when he gets that type of thing from his woman. It's not something that he's looking to upgrade or anything like that. He enjoys you, enjoys your what you provide. It's you said it the other day. It's not really hard to please a man. Doesn't really take much.

SPEAKER_12 39:30

He's new never happy in their relationships.

SPEAKER_10 39:34

We're gonna talk about that in debate club. Oh can't wait. I literally can't wait. And I can just we stopped fucking each other.

SPEAKER_01 39:45

Why?

SPEAKER_10 39:46

Why? Couldn't tell you. But men are pretty satisfied at home.

SPEAKER_02 39:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 39:52

Do they step out? Absolutely. That's not what we're talking about. We're talking about him settling. That doesn't typically happen. He loves we love women. We love you guys. There's literally nothing you guys come out the box, and that's it. We like that.

SPEAKER_02 40:11

I love men too. I also hate them. Fuckers. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_13 40:19

Love them.

SPEAKER_10 40:20

I don't know. It's a good question though.

SPEAKER_02 40:24

Thanks. Next one.

SPEAKER_12 40:34

Who needs the opposite sex more? Men emotionally or women financially.

SPEAKER_02 40:42

Anyone answer? Maybe. Damn, I don't know. Women are very independent these days.

SPEAKER_10 40:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Doesn't matter. Well, if we're gonna answer the question. Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_10 41:03

There are certain things that we can't get from our relationships with other men.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 41:12

Need that female stimulus. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:15

That nurturing energy. So the men, yeah, men need more emotionally for sure.

SPEAKER_10 41:23

Perhaps. But that's I could see that thing that we're genuinely getting from women.

SPEAKER_03 41:30

Right.

SPEAKER_10 41:32

But where a man is not here for your money. He's he wants who loves what you provide for men.

SPEAKER_02 41:37

He wants to provide for you.

SPEAKER_12 41:39

That's what's gonna make him get up and go outside every day with a fucking good attitude and a smile.

SPEAKER_10 41:45

100%.

SPEAKER_11 41:48

Give him some coochie. Coochie.

SPEAKER_10 41:51

Happy man.

SPEAKER_11 41:53

Some snatch.

SPEAKER_04 41:57

Some snack.

SPEAKER_02 41:59

Just gross.

SPEAKER_12 42:04

You could say coochie. Isn't that worse?

SPEAKER_02 42:09

I don't know. Yeah. All right, one more.

SPEAKER_12 42:12

It's a good one. Who lies more in dating? Men about commitment or women about intentions?

SPEAKER_02 42:22

I think men about intentions. I said women about intentions. I heard what you said. Men about commitment.

SPEAKER_11 42:29

Oh, you just think it's the opposite.

SPEAKER_12 42:31

Shit.

SPEAKER_10 42:33

I don't know if men are shirking from their commitment.

SPEAKER_13 42:40

Shrinking?

SPEAKER_10 42:42

Yeah. Or even hiding from it.

SPEAKER_13 42:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 42:44

I think they're pretty clear. Friends with benefits. Side pee.

SPEAKER_12 42:51

Everybody's not very clear. That is true, and that is true. Shit. It's a shit show.

SPEAKER_02 42:58

Yeah, for sure. Everybody's not very clear. You think women are lying about attentions? For sure. Some bitches.

SPEAKER_12 43:05

Yeah. Because some are just trying to act like they like you, but they can't see what they can get from you.

SPEAKER_03 43:11

Men do that too. God dang. I guess hopefully I go.

SPEAKER_02 43:22

Are we embarrassing ourselves on episode 10 or what? I can't wait to answer this. What the heck?

SPEAKER_10 43:33

We're having a good time.

SPEAKER_02 43:34

I'm having a blast.

SPEAKER_10 43:36

Yeah. I think women are definitely lying about their intentions. I don't think they fully understand what they're asking for in relationship. I think they think they want commitment. They want to be led. They want that. And then when they're faced with it, it's like that's a lot. Yeah. Gotta listen to you.

SPEAKER_02 44:03

You want me to fold this laundry this laundry again?

SPEAKER_10 44:05

Again. Gotta give you a some Gucci again.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

I wanna do that. Sometimes it depends.

SPEAKER_12 44:15

If I'm not working two jobs, I wanna do all that stuff.

SPEAKER_02 44:17

I like folding laundry at the laundry, Matt.

SPEAKER_12 44:20

I like doing that too.

SPEAKER_02 44:22

If I do laundry at home, I don't like get out of my sight.

SPEAKER_12 44:32

Those were cool.

SPEAKER_13 44:33

Yeah. Okay, that's all I got for you guys. Those were good questions.

SPEAKER_02 44:40

Actually.

SPEAKER_12 44:41

Keep it real.

SPEAKER_02 44:42

I feel targeted because I'm the only one whose name got picked, but I'm not offended or anything.

SPEAKER_12 44:48

I just got real into it. I'm over these things.

SPEAKER_02 44:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 44:52

I feel like we can just toss them and just do it. I'm gonna pick it up later. But okay. Hot seat. I like hot seat, like with all of us asking questions. I mean answering the questions.

SPEAKER_02 45:08

Yeah, it is her segment. She's running the show. That's right. I'm just a guest here. Here for the games. Yeah, for sure. Here for the games.

SPEAKER_10 45:24

Would you rather would you rather?

SPEAKER_02 45:29

Beautiful serenade. Beautiful. I love being serenated.

SPEAKER_12 45:34

She does.

SPEAKER_02 45:35

I really do. I enjoy it a lot.

unknown 45:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_12 45:38

That's why her last nigga was a singer.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_13 45:41

I love it.

SPEAKER_10 45:43

Really?

SPEAKER_13 45:44

Yeah. Mike sings.

SPEAKER_10 45:47

Very nice.

SPEAKER_13 45:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 45:49

He has a really good voice.

SPEAKER_13 45:51

He does.

SPEAKER_02 45:51

He just plays entirely too much. Yeah, for sure. Anyway. Yeah. Would you rather fix the relationship or fix yourself first? For sure, fix yourself. Yeah, I mean, how are we gonna fix the relationship if there are things that maybe we as individuals need to work on in order to come back together, reevaluate, and possibly move forward or separate.

SPEAKER_10 46:25

I can't say that I knew that I was the problem until after the relationship was done.

SPEAKER_13 46:33

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 46:34

Or that I needed to be fixed per se until I was outside of it.

SPEAKER_02 46:41

It's not so much that you need to be fixed, but maybe there is something that you do unknowingly and somebody's bringing it up like, hey, this is a problem for me. Yeah. And if you that relationship means something to you, then you you work on that.

SPEAKER_10 47:03

Yeah, I agree. I just I don't think I've especially recently did I realize till after. Yeah, I same for me though. I mean, these are areas I fucked up on. I should have addressed these things differently. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 47:18

And this is like after all the anger and resentment and madness, we calmed down from it, and we can now come together and have a conversation about what bothered each other about things that went on in the relationship, and now it's like eye-opening, like, damn, you're right. Like, I really was, and then also having like conversations with Crystal and Mom to for them to be like, you know, they're a little biased at times, but Crystal for sure is like, no, bitch, you're tripping. But um, and I but I respect that because I you know I can be very stubborn with certain things, and um I need to hear that shit. So growing up, yeah, love it, growing pains, yeah. It sucks, but yeah, so we don't always want to hear the shit, but yeah, it needs to be said you very deeply going to tell you when you're fucking up, and it's just you being able to receive it, take that in and receive it is great too. Yeah, you know, and I will want the same, even if I'm being bitchy about it. Oh well, it is what it is, you know, yeah. Next one very good. Would you rather feel emotionally connected during intimacy or just physically close?

SPEAKER_11 48:46

Uh it depends. Yeah, what is a six?

SPEAKER_02 48:54

I like I want that emotional connection. Yeah, I'm very like, I love you. Like she's a mess. Yeah. I love you, I'm a shoe. Yeah, like I love your bad.

SPEAKER_10 49:14

Yeah, I like the emotional component.

SPEAKER_02 49:18

It's important. Yeah. Make me feel alive, baby.

SPEAKER_10 49:23

Like holding for don't just get up and put your clothes on today. Yeah, no, like that's fucking weird. It's insane.

SPEAKER_12 49:31

Feels weird.

SPEAKER_02 49:32

Yeah. We're gonna have a time you're not gonna forget, buddy. Fucking prude. Are you prudish or you're not? I'm trying to think. I'm telling you guys I'm not.

SPEAKER_10 49:47

She's not.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

When I'm when I'm I said snatch, and she was just like a secret. Look at thirsties. Then y'all think I'm such a prude. All right, well. You will what, you will what, you will wait, you will what? My guy will lick me up and down. And then once we get to kissing, I'll suck it right off his tongue.

SPEAKER_10 50:29

Love that.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

Yeah, I'm not a prude. She's finally fuck. I've been the one saying pussy. What do you want me to say? What do you want me to do? That, nigga. I'm a lady.

SPEAKER_03 50:45

I'm a lady too, I think. I'm a lady.

SPEAKER_10 50:48

That was intense though. Yeah.

SPEAKER_12 50:51

Yeah. It was her this time, mom.

SPEAKER_10 50:54

Not me. Straight face is crazy. She's sadistic.

SPEAKER_02 50:58

Oh my goodness. Oh. Just kidding. I don't do that. Yeah. Just kidding. I don't do that shit. Just giving the people what they want. Yeah. She's giving us what we uh. We appreciate you. And you guys, you guys too. You're welcome. You're all welcome. Come back for more dating advice. Fucking advice. Oh heavens. What the heck?

SPEAKER_03 51:45

Uh snatch.

SPEAKER_02 51:54

Crazy. That was funny. Well, that's all I got for Would You Rather, because I said the last one. Would you rather have intimacy driven by desire? Validation or attachment? We all agreed desire.

SPEAKER_12 52:07

Desire! Fine desire!

SPEAKER_10 52:12

Yeah, it's really good that we uh on design.

SPEAKER_02 52:18

Yeah. Oh, because debate club, huh?

SPEAKER_10 52:22

Our debate club is surrounding that.

SPEAKER_02 52:24

Okay. Sounds intent.

SPEAKER_10 52:31

Thrilling. This is one of the ones that we I feel like. Alright, eight out of ten marriages and in divorce. Used to do five out of ten as when I was a kid. Now it's eight. They probably even have. It was probably statistically. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 52:54

Well, it was more frowned upon. People cared more about what people think about the people are staying for the kids.

SPEAKER_10 53:07

But the question I had is does desire naturally fade, or do people stop trying? The question I really want to ask is why do we stop fucking? Sorry. It's okay. I wanna know. Sorry.

SPEAKER_02 53:26

Um what happened? What's this? You said marriage?

SPEAKER_10 53:32

Period. Oh, okay, because I'm like, I don't know about that, but why did we stop doing that? Mar we see that relationships deteriorate once people stop being intimate.

SPEAKER_13 53:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:51

I guess nobody wants to feel like we went from a relationship to roommates, not your homeboy.

SPEAKER_12 54:01

So why would you stop having sex is what you're saying though.

SPEAKER_10 54:06

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_12 54:06

Like you said, we stopped fucking. Why?

SPEAKER_10 54:09

Why?

SPEAKER_12 54:11

I don't know. I just I've been in a relationship for over a decade before. I never felt like I didn't want to fuck him. Ever. I never felt like that. So that's hard for me to answer that question, but shit, I want to know why.

SPEAKER_02 54:31

I mean, for me and my ex, we like stopped liking each other for a while. Yeah, we were like getting into it a lot towards the end of our relationship. Would you call it hate? No, I never hated him. I love him dearly. Always loved him, like like down bad. Dislike. Dislike for sure.

SPEAKER_10 54:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:56

Certain things that were um going on, and and um he felt the same way towards me. So it was for sure mutual. Um I don't know, maybe he hated me at some point. Um, I don't think so. But definitely we were not liking each other. I know. My situation, he was cheating on me. He met somebody else. He was not stop being affectionate and they start being mean and so they can feel better about themselves, right?

SPEAKER_03 55:36

Rush back being under the rug all the way.

SPEAKER_02 55:39

Start an argument so they can just leave out the house. Yeah, my twins dad did that to me a lot.

SPEAKER_12 55:44

Yeah. But don't want to leave me alone.

SPEAKER_02 55:47

Right. Okay, so I wasn't the problem. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 55:56

So I can't tell you guys. I mean, I get it. If you don't like each other, probably don't want to have have sex with each other.

SPEAKER_02 56:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 56:05

But that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_02 56:07

A lot of people stay when they're in that situation, too.

SPEAKER_10 56:12

That's the actual glue.

SPEAKER_02 56:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 56:15

And it helps keep you together. You're saying he was cheating. So I'm definitely lost the move because you're doing with someone else.

SPEAKER_12 56:28

It wasn't. I could tell he was not having sex with me as frequently as we used to. So you know. You just know.

SPEAKER_02 56:40

You feel it, especially as though I'm not trying to take anything away from how men feel, but as a woman, you just have those intuitions. I knew. I don't feel like sex is the glue though, just by itself.

SPEAKER_12 56:55

There was nothing that was wrong to where he needed to be doing that. So whatever issues there were, it was his own shit. And I'm not being selfish in that we I thought we were happy.

SPEAKER_02 57:13

Like I said, but he was always out with his friends, doing this and that.

SPEAKER_12 57:17

Girls are around, he met one, then just was drifting, and I couldn't do that anymore.

SPEAKER_02 57:26

I feel like communication is the glue.

SPEAKER_12 57:28

For sure.

SPEAKER_02 57:29

It's a big part of it.

SPEAKER_12 57:30

Sex is a big part of it.

SPEAKER_02 57:32

Yeah, of course. Yeah. But communication, yeah.

SPEAKER_10 57:36

Friends communicate. If I'm in a relationship with you, we're fucking.

SPEAKER_02 57:42

Yeah. Yeah, but we should be communicating too.

SPEAKER_10 57:45

We should like each other.

SPEAKER_02 57:46

You think we're just gonna be fucking and not communicating?

SPEAKER_10 57:49

We should like each other.

SPEAKER_02 57:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 57:51

It's interesting you say that. I'm glad you said that. Alright, so I hate to like make it about that, but sex was a duty that each other performed for one another. Because we bel understood that we I'm supposed to be providing you this, and you're supposed to be providing it for me. So, communication aside, we know that I owe this to you. We know that. We stopped doing that though.

SPEAKER_02 58:22

And well, we stopped doing that because it sounds like a chore.

SPEAKER_12 58:28

Who wants to do chores?

SPEAKER_10 58:30

It's your duty. I didn't say that.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

Yeah, but see, that sounds more like marriage type shit.

SPEAKER_11 58:35

Like it's your duty.

SPEAKER_10 58:38

Then they're done there, guys. I'm just giving you the full spectrum. I've been on this side too. Yeah. So it's new for me, but at the same time, people are living this life.

SPEAKER_13 58:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 58:52

They're breaking up with their person, they're drifting. He's seeing somebody else.

SPEAKER_02 59:00

Is it happening naturally or I feel like it's different for everybody, however, it's gonna happen. There are so many different reasons behind why people may stop having sex or whatever the case maybe. Somebody might figure out that you're a fucking pathological liar, and now they're not interested in you anymore, and are trying to communicate with you a certain way, and you're just not getting it because you want to keep lying and believing these lies you're telling. And you know, that could be a reason. There's so many different scenarios um as to why something like that could be happening. I don't know. Men stop fucking with women because they gain weight, you know, it's just a whole slew of different reasons why these things could be happening.

SPEAKER_10 59:52

That's why I say you gotta keep trying at it. Not to bring it back to that, but you've gotta keep trying.

SPEAKER_02 59:58

Or just let it go. Let the person make the decision to leave that situation.

SPEAKER_12 1:00:04

I mean, if it's not serving either one of you as you want it, why stay in that?

SPEAKER_09 1:00:10

Why not try?

SPEAKER_12 1:00:12

Yeah, why not try? But and if you had tried and there's no results, or is it one-sided?

SPEAKER_02 1:00:18

That's delusional. Why are you staying and doing that to yourself? You're not married. What are you trying for? Move on. You're single until you're married. Don't let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband. Don't let your girlfriend stop you from finding your wife.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:38

I agree.

SPEAKER_02 1:00:40

I don't know. That shit's wicked. I hope that's never me. I just want to be happy and have fun with my guy.

SPEAKER_10 1:00:47

Yeah. I think you have to put effort in on both ends. Taking care of your physical bodily so you don't become overweight. Because that impacts a lot of things.

SPEAKER_13 1:01:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:04

Endurance, desire, libido, all these things are tied to your physical health. Also looking good for your partner is important. You gotta try a little bit, bro.

SPEAKER_13 1:01:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:17

I don't disagree that till you're married, you're single, but even in that space as you're dating one another. Letting go men and woman alike. You're putting your person in a spot where they are gonna go look elsewhere.

SPEAKER_12 1:01:36

Don't you get to come.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:43

You shouldn't.

SPEAKER_13 1:01:44

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:01:46

And I I don't think I think it's gonna fade. You have to choose to keep that spark alive.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:59

Yeah. And sex is not gonna be the only way to keep that spark alive.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:06

I agree. It's a combination. Communicating.

SPEAKER_11 1:02:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:19

That's all I got for our pay club.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:24

That was heavy.

SPEAKER_12 1:02:25

I feel like you feel like it was heavy. I'm not excited as as I was when I first started the episode.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:32

No, it's like I feel like it's important to talk about it. No, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:38

Like legit, we're having a there's just like not one right answer for it.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:43

We keep looking at each other like no, but to her point, like she has a very different perspective on the matter.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:02:53

Is mine different? Yeah. Am I able to see her perspective? Yeah. I think that a lot of men and women need to have these conversations.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:02

So they don't dreadful relationships.

SPEAKER_13 1:03:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:03:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:07

You don't have to say.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:11

True.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:12

You do not have to say. And I'm not saying it in a way like don't fight for something that you want. I'm just saying, like, if you're in a situation that's become dreadful, that's terrible, first of all. And if things are just consistently going downwards, leave. Or what if they're not going downwards? They're just saying. Then communicate. If there's still no change, then leave. And I and I couldn't be mad. Like, how could you be mad at somebody if you're not putting in that effort and they decide to leave you?

SPEAKER_12 1:03:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:55

Swick it out here, guys. I would expect someone to do the same to me. Say I was like better stay single. Just kidding. I don't wanna stay optimistic. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:08

And it's beautiful on see in this single hood life. I'm not mad at it at all. I get bored sometimes. Bored?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:04:19

Well, because I don't really be talking to Lover Girl. She's a shiny cat.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:25

Single ready to mingle.

SPEAKER_12 1:04:27

Yeah. With one person. Yeah. I don't want to can't even keep up with myself, guys. I don't need 10 motherfuckers texting me.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:40

Yeah. That was good stuff, mom.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:43

Very interesting question. Yeah. Yeah. I do think y'all should keep fucking.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:50

For sure.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:51

To the ground.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:52

The heck. Yeah. Get mad. To the time. Get sad. Fuck. Be happy. Fuck.

SPEAKER_10 1:04:57

It makes you feel good.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:00

Actually. Literally.

SPEAKER_12 1:05:04

Yeah, and like that, just like closeness. Do that.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:08

Yeah. Make your person feel wanted and please them. So somebody else doesn't do it.

SPEAKER_13 1:05:16

Yeah, well, I'm sure my husband will be finding me this year.

SPEAKER_11 1:05:21

I love that.

SPEAKER_13 1:05:23

Say that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:05:25

I need another wedding to go to.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:28

Okay, I got you. We got y'all. I need a fly ask dress to wear. Okay, buddy. I would like it to be yours. Okay. Sure. Make it happen. I will. Thanks. Thank you, Stefan.

SPEAKER_07 1:05:50

I've always got the problems I got. People would tell me, maze chill. No, chill for what? Who is this nigga?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:57

Why are we chilling? Chill for what? It's the tenth episode.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:08

You know what really grinds in my ears.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:10

Please tell us.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:11

Tell us my dog so much.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:16

The bitch genuinely gets on my nerves.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:22

Yeah. They're like children.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:26

She can't talk. But when I tell you she reasons and she finds whatever reason she does to do some bullshit.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:37

They do find one.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:43

Yeah. The door is open. She still comes back still.

SPEAKER_13 1:06:47

Of course.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:48

She knows it's good here. She said this is where it's at.

SPEAKER_13 1:06:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:06:55

Ripping up toys. I don't get my dog toys.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:59

Yeah. Like, don't you want to play with these? Don't you want to keep them around?

SPEAKER_12 1:07:02

She wants to destroy them. Yeah. We got the common ones at my house, right?

SPEAKER_10 1:07:06

Yeah. That's what she wants to eat that too. Yeah. You know, I do love my animals. Wow. She is. In the time that I've spent away from my apartment, I realized that she needs to be outside. She has a dog that needs to run.

SPEAKER_13 1:07:22

She's a busybody for sure.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:24

Yeah, we're gonna take her hike in. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:26

Nice.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:27

I saw some of that.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:28

She hasn't gone with you guys? No. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:33

Yeah. She's a thatcher one?

SPEAKER_10 1:07:35

Yeah, so she's been to Thatcher a couple of times.

SPEAKER_12 1:07:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:39

But no crazy hike. She needs that though. Yeah. But it grinds my gears that she knows how to act and she does the exact opposite.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:49

Right.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:49

Too many times to count. Does that make me a bad owner?

SPEAKER_02 1:07:54

No. She's a fucking doll. She knows what to do, though. They're opportunists. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_10 1:07:59

She's an animal.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:02

Through and through.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:03

Is for sure a fucking animal. Yeah. Got that dog in her. She is a dog. And yeah, bitch. Ya bitch.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:14

We love you, Nyla. Yeah, we do. You're a pretty pretty girl. You're a pretty pretty girl.

SPEAKER_10 1:08:19

As she nestles herself in the corner.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:23

Right. Like a little ringworm. Yeah.

SPEAKER_09 1:08:30

That's my Tokyo shit.

SPEAKER_13 1:08:31

That was good.

SPEAKER_02 1:08:33

Well let me do that, Risa. Yeah, we'll just. My Tokyo shit would be ghetto ass advertising. Advertising that makes me not want to buy the product.

SPEAKER_12 1:08:48

Even when I already buy it. I'm telling you, there's this one product. I'm not gonna say it because I don't want to get sued or any of that weird shit. But there's this girl that they use to advertise it, and every time I see her, it pisses me off. Wig is bad. The way she talks, it's just not advertisement worthy.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:17

Crazy.

SPEAKER_12 1:09:17

Yeah, you're hiring anybody off of social media to push your product. Cool, I guess.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:24

I mean, I'm still buying it, so I wish you would just get rid of that girl with the weird wig and the bad vocabulary. And she kept saying coochie in the ad. Come on now. Classless. Yeah, like I only say it on the pod. But I sure enough clicked on the link because I had to order some more. Yeah.

SPEAKER_10 1:09:55

Ugh. Some of the cookie combos.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:58

Affiliate marking, marketing.

SPEAKER_10 1:10:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:01

I'm gonna show you after. She's annoying. I hate her. Anyway, next. Oh, let's see what pisses me off is when you merge onto the highway, throughway, whatever, get off and exit. And people don't just now I know there are times when it's possible, but when it literally is possible for you to get over for merging traffic and you don't yeah, I hate you.

SPEAKER_07 1:10:37

You're a dickhead. Yes, an idiot.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:40

Like, have you no decency?

SPEAKER_10 1:10:42

Yeah. I know you feel it.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:46

I know it. I know you're like our minds are now connected because I'm calling you so many.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:54

But you deserve that.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 1:10:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:57

Because there's no reason why you didn't get over. That's insane. I fucking hate shitty drivers. Disgusting people in the road. And use your fucking blinkers. Dicks. Two dicks. The heck. Two dicks. Two dicks. Oh my goodness.