She Needs to Be Heard, Even When Its About You...

Episode 11 dives into the conversations we feel—but don’t always know how to handle.

From how our emotional state shapes the way we think and experience life, to what it really means to “hold space” in relationships, this episode challenges the way we listen, respond, and show up for each other.

Because it’s easy to hear someone when it’s not about you…

but can you still listen when it is?

We unpack emotional expression, emotional safety, and the tension between support and exhaustion—while asking the question most people avoid:

If you expect to be heard… can you do the same when it’s about you?

Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:17

Hello and welcome to the wholesome menace podcast. I'm your host Chris Marie, Stefan, and Risa. I'm not all your hosts. Stefan or the one and only. This is the Chris Marie Show. Welcome back. Welcome back. We're here. We're just props. Please stop. I'm here for relax. Yeah, for sure. And a long time.

SPEAKER_06 0:42

Hopefully for the long time.

SPEAKER_03 0:44

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06 0:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:45

Yeah. I like that. I am.

SPEAKER_06 0:46

How are your ladies feeling today?

SPEAKER_03 0:48

Pretty great. Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.

SPEAKER_06 0:50

Happy Friday.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Happy. Happy Friday.

SPEAKER_06 0:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 0:53

It's a great time.

SPEAKER_06 0:54

The sun's still out, too.

SPEAKER_03 0:56

Yeah, it is.

SPEAKER_06 0:57

We usually record when it's late at night, so this is interesting.

SPEAKER_03 1:00

It is. Tomorrow will be even earlier? I know. What are we gonna do with the rest of our day? Oh, I'm chilling. I might go to the woods and then I'm gonna chill with the kids. Very nice. That might be my thing.

SPEAKER_06 1:14

Very, very nice.

SPEAKER_03 1:15

Maybe. Oh. We'll figure it out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

What about you? T Sarah wants her hair done, so most likely. You know, you're the hair lady. Run the play. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of hair, let's get it out of the way. Yes, I did cut my locks, guys. They're beautiful. I wanted the curly ends, and this is where we're at. It's so cute though. I love it. Thank you. Looking good. Looking real good. Before we start, attitude and gratitude. I just wanted to address a few things as far as the technical difficulties we've been having. Guys, we're just trying new things. Um different software.

SPEAKER_06 1:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:56

The recording platforms that we've been trying. We've been having trouble with some, so trying others. So we're not really sure why the video cut off, excuse me, cut off last time. But we're figuring this stuff out, guys.

SPEAKER_06 2:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:11

You know?

SPEAKER_06 2:12

I think that Crystal and I were talking about this. I'm really big on quality. I want the product that we give you guys to be top-notch. And by and large, it is, you know. But it's all in-house, so we're figuring this out as we go. Um, and we're doing everything in our power to make sure that there are any glitches on our RN. Sometimes it's just literally a technical difficulty. So fingers crossed, we uh are off to the race to stop.

SPEAKER_03 2:41

Right. And we appreciate your guys' patience with those glitches and the episodes cutting off, and we're gonna put something together. Yeah, special something. Um, just extra bonus episode for you guys for YouTube. Yeah. Figure that out. Coming slowly. So we'll make it real fun. Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah, we'll do that. So I just wanted to get that little spiel out real quick so you guys know we are thinking about you when it comes to that stuff. And we're not just sloppy recording, you know.

SPEAKER_06 3:12

So we take time with this, it takes a long time to edit. So it's frustrating for us when we are getting through the episode and we don't have the rest of it for our because we watch our own show. Right. Yeah. You know, I for sure watch it. It's hard for us when we get there and it's like, crap, where's the rest of it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

But yeah. But it's okay. We're figuring it out. We're getting new equipment, this, that. It's a lot, but we're gonna keep uh keeping on for you guys and big time. Putting the things out. Yeah, exciting.

SPEAKER_06 3:43

Love it, love it, love it. Ladies, let's get into some attitude and gratitude.

SPEAKER_03 3:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 3:54

Say it.

SPEAKER_03 3:58

Who should go? Let it go.

SPEAKER_06 4:01

Ladies, I wanna I read this um article. It's actually a few years old, but in my research for attitude and gratitude, I found this article online that put what I've been saying about attitude and gratitude, and it's something that you have to exercise into like perspective for me. Um basically there's this correlation, it's called heart-brain coupling that occurs when you practice gratitude. Like it's something that happens to you physically.

SPEAKER_03 4:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 4:32

Um I like the coming out of neurocardiology, it's like a makes a lot of sense. Yes. Um so practicing gratitude or when you're in love, it changes the rhythm of your heart. Your heart rate literally changes. Yeah. And it lowers when you practice gratitude, when you exercise that gratitude muscle, right?

SPEAKER_04 4:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 4:55

Um, and so your heart feels it and your brain responds. I want to read a little bit of the article for you guys because I it's just so profound.

SPEAKER_04 5:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 5:02

Um coming out of the National Library of Medicine, so this is legit. Love that. Fact-check that. If you guys want to fact-check that. But uh here's the abstract. A sense of gratitude is a powerful and positive experience that can promote a happier life, whereas resentment is associated with life satisfaction. To explore the effects of gratitude and resentment on well-being, we acquired functional magnetic resonance, imaging, and heart rate data before, during, and after the gratitude and resentment interventions. Functional connectivity analysis was conducted to identify the modulatory effects of gratitude on the default mode, emotion and reward motivation networks. A lot of big words. Um the average heart rate was significantly lower during the gratitude intervention than during the resentment intervention. So if you act like you are grateful, your brain literally tells your heart to slow down. Right? Um, and not only can you think yourself into a new life, you can feel yourself into a new life. And I thought that was really profound because living in gratitude is the highest level, highest frequency that a human can live in. Yeah. That's right. And most of us, sorry, we do. Yeah, because I'm doing it.

SPEAKER_03 6:36

A lot of us don't have to sit here. Yeah, and it's yes. It's heartbreaking because you could change your circumstances based on how you know we just were kind of talking about this in the car. Yeah. And not to consider. We really were, but I was saying how when I started hiking, and it just did something to me as far as me looking at things in a different space. So I was living in resentment for a very long time. And then it could have been the hiking, could have been a number of things, but I let a lot of things go and just started being grateful for every day. Um, even in hard places in life, I'm still grateful for my family having a roof over my head because there's people who don't have things that I do, or you know, there's always somebody that's worse off than you.

SPEAKER_04 7:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 7:35

And not that you have to compare yourself or your situation to anybody's for you to feel or be better because you shouldn't do that.

SPEAKER_05 7:43

Right.

SPEAKER_03 7:44

I basically what I'm trying to say is because here I go, rambling on. Um, I thought myself into a different attitude. Like, I I'm happy. You know, things are hard, I get overwhelmed, but I'm happy. I'm at peace. My heart rate is low. You know what I'm saying? So, yeah, you that is a really a real thing. There's a science behind it. Being gratuitous, like in the love thing, when you were explaining that, I just think of like little things at work or, you know, with certain coworkers or my manager that makes me feel a sense of love because I have so much gratitude for how they are in the things that they do. I'm a loving person, so I develop love in that. And it's I want you to please elaborate or, you know, finish because that is very interesting.

SPEAKER_06 8:38

Yeah. Um, that study was in 2017. Oh, okay. And there's so much in this actual uh article, but essentially the what I grasped from it was that if your heart believes it, your brain will believe it. And like I say, if you have an attitude, it's probably because you are not living in gratitude. And you need to be able to do it.

SPEAKER_03 9:02

There's so many things to be grateful for, honestly. Too much. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:06

And if it were breathing. You're a nurse. What is it, parasympathetic nervous system? So you're doing it without even thinking about it.

SPEAKER_04 9:15

Yeah, yeah. Your body's just right?

SPEAKER_06 9:19

But that's something that you can at the very least be grateful for your breath. Yeah. Some people are on ventilators and they can't breathe.

SPEAKER_03 9:26

I couldn't imagine.

SPEAKER_06 9:27

Some people have asthma and they can't breathe.

SPEAKER_04 9:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:32

Um, but I'm grateful, I'm immeasurably grateful for that, right?

SPEAKER_04 9:35

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06 9:36

Along with everything else that I have in my life that I should be grateful for in light of the bullshit that I have to do. Yeah, of course. Right. It's always gonna be there. Right. Still choosing to exercise that gratitude muscle is what keeps you in a more calm, peaceful, centered space in your life, right?

SPEAKER_00 9:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 9:54

And I just wanted to share that because I thought it was so that I've been saying exercise your gratitude muscle, and there's actual science to back it up.

SPEAKER_03 10:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:02

That's so good.

SPEAKER_03 10:03

So it is. Thank you for sharing that.

SPEAKER_06 10:05

If you love that. In a space where you got an attitude, it's probably because you're not living in gratitude for sure. You gotta get a pump.

unknown 10:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 10:19

And that's all I have for attitude and gratitude. A lot of people would be like, oh my god, that's fluff. That's all mysticism, that's all.

SPEAKER_03 10:26

But it even for me, like, once I started going, like after me and my twin's dad um separated, I was like very mad at him for a while. Um, and I'm like, I can't live this way, you know? Um, so what I did was I started doing hot yoga. And I was also going to the gym. And that really, really changed just like my whole life. Like my it was it was amazing. Really? So I love hot yoga. But yeah, it really does work. It does, it's great. Should try it, guys. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 11:09

And actually let us know what your life looks like when you start practicing gratitude.

SPEAKER_03 11:13

Yes, consistently.

SPEAKER_06 11:14

Honestly. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Or call in, let us know. Call us. Call us. Crap.

SPEAKER_06 11:22

That's all I got for attitude and gratitude, ladies. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 11:25

That was very interesting. And yes, thank you for that.

SPEAKER_06 11:28

Yeah, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

That was I love when you make my brain work.

unknown 11:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:32

I was four when I read all the what name that tune.

SPEAKER_03 11:41

Name that quote. Give it to me. I'm here for you. Oh my god, guys. I'm gonna be very quiet on this one today.

SPEAKER_06 11:48

Yeah, because you were talking bullshit last night.

SPEAKER_03 11:52

She got embarrassed. This phone over here keeps going off. You go ahead and take that. Put it elsewhere. Silence it's it's off. Okay. All right. Don't look at it. Nobody's looking at your list. She's a little more.

unknown 12:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 12:17

We'll go with a tune first. You guys ready? Joe.

SPEAKER_05 12:26

I want to know.

SPEAKER_03 12:27

Yes. Yeah. It was Joe. Yeah. That was a team effort. Disqualified. I just play it. Good job, guys. That was quick. It was quick. I said. We did good. That was good and quick. That was one and one. You guys aren't gonna start smoking me in my own segment. You and we well.

SPEAKER_06 12:49

We're gonna talk shit. I'm sorry. Okay, take it back.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

Uh-uh. All right now. You you go here, you're gonna be afraid of your woman girl. All right, let's see. Quote.

SPEAKER_02 13:02

Well, if she did, now go out and get a little squirrel on. Don't you think she'd be well within her rights?

SPEAKER_00 13:14

Carla, baby.

SPEAKER_03 13:16

Is that Terrence Howard? She loves saying people names. I think I don't know how I want to say title. Shit.

SPEAKER_06 13:23

Dennis, I don't know it.

SPEAKER_03 13:25

Oh, that's gonna take me a minute. Let me know when you want me to play the game. Shit.

SPEAKER_06 13:32

I don't know it.

SPEAKER_03 13:33

I'm gonna play again. Okay.

SPEAKER_06 13:34

Well, she did.

SPEAKER_03 13:39

The Gus Man? Don't you think? Thanks. Did you two?

SPEAKER_06 13:46

The Gus Man. Maybe parts of it. Not the whole movie, but something on like TBS or something like that, probably. We don't care about what you say after you say it. Something like that. But I've seen parts of it.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Okay. You didn't see it. I don't want to hear part.

SPEAKER_06 14:07

That's like me saying I've seen The Breakfast Club and I only saw the Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

Okay. So you didn't see it? No. He didn't see it. He just wants to piss us off. Yeah. Rage Vader for sure. He's a fucking rage baiter. He's a troll. Rage Vader. Okay. That's a funny.

SPEAKER_06 14:35

Don't stop for you.

SPEAKER_03 14:37

I'm playing the whole stay on here. No, that is a good one.

SPEAKER_04 14:43

That's so good.

SPEAKER_02 14:46

Not for me. Let's go.

SPEAKER_03 14:54

Some good songs. Some good songs.

SPEAKER_06 15:00

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 15:02

Sing it. Okay. We need to have a jam session. Yeah, we do. We need a jam session. Agreed. Alright, after this. A live one. Maybe they will make that the bonus. We can do that. Look at you, Krame. Do you guys want a live jam session? That would be so fun. I gotta get my guitar. So I gotta have a fucking guitar. I do play guitar. You do? Yeah, he said that. Nobody likes a bragger, though, but I just that's cool. I need to get my drum set.

SPEAKER_06 15:34

That's the girl who likes to be serenaded. It's a joke out here, bro. They just don't love you.

SPEAKER_03 15:40

Teresa will soon be the running joke. It's all on camera. The evidence is there, brother. It's there.

SPEAKER_06 15:47

Hilarious. Don't laugh at me.

SPEAKER_03 15:54

Last quote for you, suckers.

SPEAKER_02 16:02

There's no color to light in here. Damn, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 16:06

Fuck you, supposed to go to the back door to collect the fee. What the hell you think you're doing to me? Disregard the fee. Only I came to talk to the Dutch. Get out! You know my man whisper only.

SPEAKER_03 16:18

You know my man whispers only. I'd like to play it again. I'd like you to.

SPEAKER_02 16:26

There's no colored a lot in here. It's a new day, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Look, you're supposed to go to the back door to collect the fee. What the hell you think you're going to meet? Disregard the fee. Only I came to talk to the Dutch. Get out! You know my man Whispers only.

SPEAKER_03 16:38

That's Lawrence Fishburne.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

Oh.

unknown 16:44

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_03 16:46

King New York? No. Fuck no. Whoa. Let me get one. Let me get another chance.

SPEAKER_06 16:56

Play it again.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

Shut up.

SPEAKER_02 16:58

I'll play it again.

SPEAKER_03 16:59

Yeah. You got one more.

unknown 17:00

Shit.

SPEAKER_02 17:01

There's no color to line.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

That's Bumpy Johnson.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

New day, motherfucker.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Fuck you supposed to go to the back door to collect the fee. What the hell you think you're doing to me? Disregard the fee. Only I came to talk to the Dutch. Get out! You know my man Whisper Zone.

SPEAKER_03 17:14

It's a new day, motherfucker. I don't know. That's that movie with um that lady with the Vanessa Williams in it. I believe so, yeah. Yes, it is. I'm not gonna get it, but I know what it is.

SPEAKER_05 17:39

Sounds familiar to me.

SPEAKER_03 17:41

It's old too. That would be Hudlum. That's a glass, baby. That's a glass of yes. I'm gonna watch that. Gotta gotta. I'm gonna go home and watch that tonight.

unknown 17:56

Tonight for you. Alright.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

I'm rubbing my feet together. Solid. That was good. That was good. I like that. It's my favorite. Even when I'm losing. Yeah, I don't know. It's hard to tell. Yeah, sometimes I'd be upset. I'd be embarrassed because it'd be like, come on, like, yeah, for sure. Don't embarrass me. Yeah. Oh, I'm glad. I'm I am happy when you guys tell me that that was good. I'll be like, damn, this shit is easy. But that's because I already know it. It was very good, ma'am. What's really a favor? I just love Olympic. Welcome to the Delusion Olympic. No, you you do it on purpose. I'm just excited. Yeah, I know. It's fine. I'm not offended. She got from the lady so. You say you want peace, but you stalk their social media daily. Delusional. You're delusional. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 19:14

Yeah. Brains going crazy.

SPEAKER_03 19:21

Yeah. No. I definitely did.

SPEAKER_06 19:24

I don't even remember unfollowing like my baby mama. I don't Yeah. Oh, I'm blocking. I'm living my life.

SPEAKER_03 19:31

I don't want to see you on my shit ever.

SPEAKER_06 19:34

And Facebook be on some weird shit. People you may know type like Facebook. Yeah, that's as big as we looking on your page. I haven't ever seen an ex on my shit. I don't have time for for that at all.

SPEAKER_03 19:45

Yeah. I have way better things. Yeah. Way more important things. I'm busy. To be doing than to be stalking somebody anywhere. Agreed. Delusional. Yeah. Delus. For sure. Yeah. No, but I have done it. Yeah. I thought I had to talk about this in a long time. With my one X. Huh?

SPEAKER_06 20:06

Were you being delusional then?

SPEAKER_03 20:09

I think I was just being, I guess, delusional. I was just being nosy. Fuck this nigga doing. Uh-huh. That was really it. And then one. And you know, I went on his kid's mom's page before to see what she looked like. Wasn't impressed, so moved along. Just shit like that. But I'm not like, I gotta check our page every day. Gotta check this page every day. Niggas is checking pages every day. Every day. Multiple times. Making fake profiles. Just follow the page. Follow wholesome menace. Follow the pod. Send a friend request. Nah. I don't want to. Well, fuck it. You can follow. I'll invite you. It's a wholesome menace. Yeah. Anyway. Go. Next. You want loyalty, but keep backup options. Oh. Is it I mean.

SPEAKER_06 21:06

I might be toxic type.

SPEAKER_03 21:07

It's very, because it's kind of like you want loyalty from me, but you're not giving it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:13

That's weird. Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and question for that for a debate club. Thanks for reminding me.

SPEAKER_03 21:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 21:19

But I think that might be delusional.

SPEAKER_03 21:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 21:21

Actually. Now that I'm thinking about it.

SPEAKER_03 21:23

Because if you're interested in that one person, you want those things from that one person, then that's where your attention should be, not spread. Yeah. And that's the thing with oh, they are probably gonna leave, so let me keep a backup or something like that. Or let me just keep them in case something better comes along. Fuck yeah. Yeah. That's yeah. Nasty business. Messy for sure. For sure. For sky. Last one. You're not busy. You just don't prioritize people. Yeah, I like that. I can agree with that. Yeah. Because let's be honest, like that consistency is gonna build trust. If I'm not a priority to you, why even consider entertaining me?

unknown 22:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 22:20

You're wasting your time and mine, and I don't like my time wasted.

SPEAKER_04 22:24

Agreed.

SPEAKER_03 22:25

So delusions or lifestyle choices. Lifestyle choices. Delusions. Delusions. Lifestyle choices. Yeah. Yeah, no. That's just like, you know, we had a conversation. I'm like, if you can't consistently and just texting, first of all, you guys know I don't love that. If you're not like calling me, FaceTime me, whatever, I'm you're I'm not taking shit serious. You're a child just texting me all the time. Yeah. So But you're doing me to death. Yeah. I I can't deal with that. And so, you know, when I speak up and I'll say something like, um, well, you know, I'm just gonna cool it because you don't you're not giving me enough attention, you're not texting me enough, whatever. And then hit me with the well, you know, I got this going on, I'm busy, I'm just that. Are you? Because let me show you my schedule. Yeah. So we all have the same 24 hours. We all do, and we all make time for things we want to make time for. Agreed. When I tell you two jobs, kids, podcast, family, my shit don't stop, but I'm still taking time out my day to text you or no, there's no my phone is usually in my hand, like most times. Like most people. Let's be serious. It's 2026. Shout out to the people whose shit aren't in their hand all the time. Right. You know, I mean, I got a little dent in my pinky just from holding this motherfucker all the time. But yeah, like you said, people make time for what they want to make time for. Well, like I said, yeah, yeah. But yeah, that's all I have for Delusion Olympics today. Nice. Thank you. Very good. Thank you. That was nice. I like that.

SPEAKER_05 24:13

I like it.

SPEAKER_03 24:14

We always like it.

SPEAKER_06 24:15

We always like every segment. Ladies, I have some questions for our main topic today.

SPEAKER_03 24:24

Bring it on, brother.

SPEAKER_06 24:25

The question, or that's not even a question, it's more of a topic. Um it's about holding space for women's emotions. And this is like a personal thing that I've been thinking a lot about in my previous relationship. I don't know if I actually made room for my spouse's emotional space.

SPEAKER_04 24:45

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 24:45

What I understand now about women is that they have they are as deeply emotional as men are, but they require expressing that emotion. As a man, I felt like a lot of times I was maybe I didn't have the capacity to handle it, or I was immature, so I was dismissive.

SPEAKER_04 25:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 25:04

Um, and the it kind of led me to start thinking about what that looks like. Oftentimes women are more emotional or they seem more emotional because they have to express their emotions, or they're more readily available to express their emotions. Yeah. Um, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they feel them more. And so what I wanted to ask you are are women actually more emotional or just more comfortable expressing themselves? Good, bad, or toxic or yeah.

SPEAKER_03 25:34

I think it depends on the woman.

SPEAKER_05 25:37

Interesting.

SPEAKER_03 25:40

I think women are I want to say built to for that, but also I feel like that's a conditional kind of thing as far as men go. Like, I hate that men feel like they can't express their emotions in a certain way because it takes away from their masculinity. Whatever. That's so not true. It's not true, guys. Express those fucking emotions if you can in a safe space, you know.

SPEAKER_06 26:04

But um Yeah, I think that m men, by and large, we internalize our emotions.

SPEAKER_03 26:10

For sure.

SPEAKER_06 26:11

Um, and it's not like we don't feel them, I think we feel them as deeply as you do.

SPEAKER_03 26:14

We just express them that way.

SPEAKER_06 26:16

We keep them inside. Um mainly because we don't have those safe spaces usually with our person that we can say the vulnerable, sometimes maybe unattractive thing. We talked about that a few episodes ago.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 26:31

A few, a lot of episodes ago.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

Like, I don't even remember which one.

SPEAKER_06 26:36

But um, and women process their emotions through conversation. You guys are talking to your girlfriends, talking to your mom, talking to your aunties, you guys are yeah, and the conversation is what helps you kind of release that.

SPEAKER_03 26:46

I mean, men talk to each other sometimes too. I just don't think that they're like super like like telling all the deets and shit like that. Which honestly, women, you should stop doing that too. You know what I mean? With your friends and whether you trust them and they're trustworthy, that's great. But your relationship is yours, you know, yours and your man's. There's just even if you need to vent, some details should just be left between the two of you.

SPEAKER_06 27:14

Agreed. Um, I'll give you an example of something that I was thinking about. So in my previous relationship, I, you know, my spouse would give me a complaint or something that he didn't like or something that was going wrong, and I then took it as an attack or as a um something along those lines. And I think then they were just trying to process their feelings out loud and not necessarily attack my character as a man or anything like that. Meaning I'll say immature and unable to process it, didn't receive that very well. And I think that we live in a society where even today a woman might say, Well, the bill didn't get paid, and most men will take that as you think that I'm not a man anymore, or you don't think that I'm safe or I can't provide, or any of those things that you require of us as men, right?

SPEAKER_04 28:12

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 28:13

Um basically I just want to I I I've been thinking about this for like a week now, because we want to be spaces where women can say what they want to say, and maybe we don't have the solution for it off rip, but that she gets regulated because she's able to speak to me about what she has going on. Yeah, there's that trust. Hopefully, if she is regulated, she gives me the soft side of her instead of the well nigga, you ain't doing shit anyway, or I gotta do it myself, or any of the things that we've seen women do in response to not being able to speak what they feel like. Right? So, and you ladies, you're the women in my life who I speak to frequently. So I I just wanted to hear your perspectives on the matter. Like, are you not getting that emotional space from men to speak what you want to say? And so therefore you have to give it to him the other kind of way?

SPEAKER_03 29:03

Absolutely. And don't want to, and don't want to, because I'm actually giving it to you the soft way, trying to express myself because it's not something you want to hear in the moment or something you don't want to deal with is so you're dismissing or getting mad or just not saying the comforting, just not being comforting. Or getting pissed off because you're now you're annoyed because I'm speaking up on something. But you told me that this was a safe space and I could do that. And now I can't. Now it's a problem. When it's a yeah, right. You don't want to take accountability. Yeah. And I don't like that.

SPEAKER_06 29:45

Interesting. At what point does holding space for your emotion become like just emotional dumping or emotional exhaustion? Because there's that. I'll be I'll be honest, a lot of women don't they can express themselves, but that doesn't mean that they're emotionally intelligent.

SPEAKER_04 30:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:03

Because he doesn't need to be met with the chaos every single time, even if you're saying it in a loving, caring way because the thing hasn't gotten done yet, uh, or you know, the promise hasn't been kept, or the issue is still persisting.

SPEAKER_04 30:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:17

A lot oftentimes we find that it's a it that turns into a nag or a multiple complaint, or now it's name calling.

SPEAKER_03 30:25

Now it's throwing shit in your face, or whatever the case may be.

SPEAKER_06 30:29

But so at what point does holding space, because the man should want to hold space for his woman, stop being I'm holding space for you. Now you're just I'm the I'm the punching bag.

SPEAKER_03 30:41

I guess if you're constantly having conversations and nothing is changing, there's no progress. So it's like now I have to keep saying these things, keep dealing with the same thing. And now even if I do feel uncomfortable because you're making me, I can't say you're making me, but now I feel like it's not okay for me to express myself to you because when I do, you tell me that I have a problem. That's my problem, and it or it doesn't matter. My feelings don't matter because that's not what the situation is, or something like that. So now it's building and building and building. And then once I get to this break-in point, now it's an even bigger issue because of how I'm expressing myself.

SPEAKER_06 31:32

Yeah. Do you go ahead? No, you go ahead first. Do you feel like women weaponize their emotions?

SPEAKER_03 31:39

That's why I was saying it depends on the woman, too, because that's just so complex. Bach, why are you always doing this to me? I don't. You don't personally, I don't. You like you don't do that? I don't weaponize my emotions. I'm not even like super overly emotional like that. The most emotional. I'm feeling it all, it's all right here. But that's why I'm so when I feel like you're not listening to me or you're just brushing off what I'm saying or what's bothering me. Mm-hmm. Here comes the bitch. I don't want to fucking do that. I don't even want to go through these bad emotions you're making me feel. But like, let's fix it. And then if we're not fixing it, I'm in a space today, like, where if you're just brushing me off, I'm out of there. So I'm not, I can't deal with that. I've dealt with that and it's not a good time. Where this is a person I'm with for over a decade. Yeah. And we can't talk. Talk. Talking is what I do. Like, I'm a big communicator, right? No, but communication is key in any situation, in any relationship. We know this, guys. At this big grown fucking age, we know this. If you want to allow someone else into your life, your space, you have to talk. Yeah. And listen. And don't just listen to respond. Listen to take heed to understand. Understand, help whatever's going on.

SPEAKER_06 33:19

Are men expected to hold space for women's emotions?

SPEAKER_03 33:22

Yes. I think we're both expected to hold space for each other's emotions.

SPEAKER_06 33:27

Do you feel like women hold space for men's emotions?

SPEAKER_03 33:31

Some do. And some don't. Yeah. Same way some men do with women's emotions and some don't. Yeah. Shit.

SPEAKER_06 33:41

Good luck. It is intense to think about. Um, I do know that in my own life now, I'm thinking about how do I hold space and let a woman say what she needs to say without getting offended, without taking it personally, without trying to find a solution for her because she might not be for a solution. She might just need to let it out.

SPEAKER_03 34:05

What else can you do?

SPEAKER_06 34:06

Let it out some more. What else, babe? Let it out some more.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

And then nothing.

SPEAKER_06 34:10

I'm good. That was it.

SPEAKER_03 34:12

Yeah, that's usually all I need.

SPEAKER_06 34:14

Right.

SPEAKER_03 34:14

You know what? I'm good now. Don't forget about it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 34:19

Um, I'm I'm trying I'm learning to make space in my own life. I'm single now, so I'm learning to do that in the relationships and the friendships that I'm building so that I'm prepared and I'm practicing what being an emotional support looks like. Right. Yeah. And not just a punching bag because I'm here or I'm present.

SPEAKER_03 34:38

I mean, I love that you're even aware and doing the work to make notes and I guess changes for yourself. So even moving forward, when you do get into another relationship, that's gonna be a healthy thing for you.

SPEAKER_06 34:59

Exactly. Um, and the person who I'm doing, I mean, I'm doing it for myself, but the person who gets to benefit off that is actually benefiting from something productive, healthy, loving, intentional.

SPEAKER_03 35:13

Yeah, that's dope.

SPEAKER_06 35:14

Guys, pay attention to the ladies. That's really important. We need them.

SPEAKER_03 35:19

And women, nurture your men.

SPEAKER_05 35:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 35:23

Love them. Their emotions matter too. I said that. They matter many episodes ago. Your emotions matter, a matter. Your emotions a matter too. Nah, but they do. Like, come on, take care of each other, guys. We've been talking about this.

SPEAKER_06 35:42

And also, I mean, when a maybe this is a a reach, but when a woman says, Hey, I have X problem, and the problem's about you, you're now forced to face your face, be faced with accountability.

SPEAKER_03 35:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 35:57

Are you gonna be accountable for what was just said to you? And what does that look like when you're not? And right, and what is it like when you're not? Oftentimes we see what it looks like when you're not being accountable, right? We know what it looks like. What's what's it up, people? Surprise me. You don't change, don't change the narrative at all. You haven't made any efforts to fix the problem.

SPEAKER_03 36:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 36:19

So and that can be reversed as well, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:22

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_06 36:23

Men to women, so but paying attention to your person is super important, right?

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 36:28

Making space for them and helping them feel secure is very important. Yeah. Now, should it be all chit-chat? No, there should be the action.

SPEAKER_03 36:35

Action for sure. There should always be action. Miss me with that talk of shit. If don't say it, if you ain't putting nothing behind it. Don't say what you don't mean. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 36:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:46

Like I said what it said.

SPEAKER_06 36:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 36:52

Yeah. Stand on your shit, guys.

SPEAKER_06 36:54

Yeah, I'm I'm looking to be that space for my person. I want them to be able to bring anything and all things to me and me not take it offensively, me not take it to heart. Yeah, that's how it should be. And that's all I have for my main topic today. I just I've been thinking about that for at least a week now.

SPEAKER_03 37:13

That was what you're doing.

SPEAKER_06 37:14

Do my own healing.

SPEAKER_03 37:15

Yeah. I think that's really great that you're thinking about that. And, you know, a lot of men have to grow into some things and and never do. And I think the way you consider a lot of things is a beautiful thing, especially as a man. Thank you. Start a masterclass, brother. Okay, you start it.

SPEAKER_06 37:36

These motherfuckers ain't getting it. He ain't got it by now, then you just ain't getting it.

SPEAKER_03 37:42

Nah, don't say that.

SPEAKER_06 37:43

Damn, that's hopefully. I love T Pang.

SPEAKER_03 37:50

Give him a little grace. Yeah. Auto tune. Well, that nigga can sing. No, he can really sing, so that's the thing. The auto-tune is the goddamn disguise.

SPEAKER_06 38:00

This nigga can sing for real.

SPEAKER_03 38:05

T Pain! Naila, me and you're gonna have some problems. Yeah, hair is everywhere. Yeah. All right. Ooh.

SPEAKER_06 38:15

That's the hot seat.

SPEAKER_03 38:17

It's time. It's time.

SPEAKER_06 38:18

I'll start with magic over here.

SPEAKER_03 38:20

You are.

SPEAKER_06 38:21

Hopefully, it's not a doozy.

SPEAKER_03 38:24

She's not making names today. Best of luck to you, brother. I'm getting. I need to write down somewhere. Get the spinny well. Jeez. Oh, sorry guys. You know I gotta unlock my nose. Because she thinks somebody's looking at her stuff.

SPEAKER_06 38:44

Why are my pits sweating now?

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Are you sweating? Hey, calm down, bro. Talking about the level up. Calm down, brother. Here we go. Bring it on. Mix it up good, girl.

SPEAKER_06 39:03

Ladies, I don't know if um I'm big on energy drinks. Not this is not a shout out to Ghost, but if you guys want to send a sponsor, please send it. Do I have to blur that out? I don't know. We'll see. I'm not sure. We'll see. I've been looking for I've been drinking bangs a lot, right? I enjoy the product, but Ghost also makes their product really, really well.

SPEAKER_03 39:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:24

I used to do Celsius. Celsius. I was drinking Celsius. I'm still on Red Bull. Make a their B12 vitamin is not synthetic. I just don't know why they would make it a synthetic. Why would you do that if you can make it on Hatcher?

SPEAKER_03 39:36

Right.

SPEAKER_06 39:37

And Ghost does. And this fucking peach shit is gas.

SPEAKER_03 39:40

Yeah. That's the shit.

SPEAKER_06 39:42

Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 39:43

That uh cherry sakura. Sakura. Red bulls in the check. Red bulls. Starbucks send the check. Red bulls, Starbucks.

SPEAKER_06 39:50

We can keep it going. Quick slice, send the check.

SPEAKER_03 39:53

Quick flies. Right.

SPEAKER_06 40:00

Go up, send that check immediately. Yeah. Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 40:03

I'm hungry, I'm thirsty. It's a hot tea. Just live it. Just live it. All right, y'all. Fuck, it's me. Let's go.

unknown 40:21

Fuck.

SPEAKER_03 40:22

I was gonna ask Teresa this question. Plotting. Couldn't wait. Does height matter than per more than personality? Yes. You need that. I'm sorry. I'm gonna go ahead and get chewed up or whatever. I don't love short kings. I don't want it. I don't want to deal with it. Me either. Girl the clip. I just, yes. It matters to me. I'm sorry. 6'3, bearded, tatted, freckle-faced. Just taller than you. Brown eyed. Yes. Six foot would still be nice. However, I'm an adult, beautiful white man for me. However, what? But yeah, I just like the biggins. Yeah. Big and tall. Yeah. Give them to me. Bearded. Bearded. Bearded. Thick bearded. For sure.

SPEAKER_06 41:26

I put a filter on Snapchat for like the no negative shit. But look like Wellington. See?

SPEAKER_03 41:34

But face. Worse. First of all. That's hilarious. Benoit Sr. His light skinned ass. That's right. He's light skinned.

SPEAKER_06 41:49

He's a little light-skinned.

SPEAKER_03 41:50

Yes. Well, I was saying. My daddy is black.

unknown 41:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 41:54

My daddy black. Black like my gun. Not too much on my daddy. Bo, you bog. Sorry, we're going to lunch tomorrow. Yeah, let's go. See you then. Yeah. Play matters more than personality. I say that, but let me get a tall born nigga. Yeah, I'm I I've done it. Whoa, gotta go. Gotta go. That is funny as hell. Shit. It matters. All right. Next one. I didn't see which one. It's staff. Oh, they were both staff. So it doesn't even hell. I just have. I'm sorry. Um would you rather have your vagina shaved or little hair on the side? Does it matter? Um in how much? How much does it matter or how much hair can be there? Both.

SPEAKER_06 43:24

I am okay with there being hair there. You're an adult. Right. So I understand it's gonna come. My preferred. The vagina itself, if you can leave it bare, great, you can put hair every just a ra just no, the actual vagina itself.

SPEAKER_05 43:51

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 43:58

I'm doing I enjoy eating a very clean vagina. Yeah, who the fuck? It's great. Uh just glazed honey bun all day. Right? But if there's a little hair there, I'm not tripping. Yeah. But my preference is it can be hair on top, like bulky area, just give me the rest of the cli down.

SPEAKER_03 44:20

Mm-hmm. Right.

SPEAKER_06 44:21

Bald.

SPEAKER_03 44:23

Keep it clean.

SPEAKER_06 44:24

Just not crazy.

SPEAKER_03 44:27

Yeah. Taken care of. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 44:29

Meanest.

SPEAKER_03 44:30

Okay. Mm-hmm. Was that a hot question? Trying to make them hot.

SPEAKER_06 44:35

I'll take the other question if you want.

SPEAKER_03 44:37

You want another question?

SPEAKER_06 44:38

You pick both of them.

SPEAKER_03 44:40

Okay. Give me a chance, huh?

SPEAKER_06 44:44

Save you.

SPEAKER_03 44:45

Take them one for the team. I respect that.

SPEAKER_06 44:47

That wasn't that hot. That wasn't that hot, actually. That was a good question. It was a good question, though.

SPEAKER_03 44:53

Yeah, I'd be just wondering. Not just how you liked vaginas, but whatever, bro. How do you guys like a vagina? How do you like a vagina? How do you like your vagina? How do you like that? Have you ever entertained someone you didn't like?

SPEAKER_06 45:24

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 45:26

Tell me about that.

SPEAKER_06 45:28

Um I was just curious. And I'm a nice guy, so I didn't just say no off rip. Um, and I just continued to it wasn't too many interactions with the person, but definitely had sex with them.

SPEAKER_03 45:43

And it was Is that why you didn't like her?

SPEAKER_06 45:49

I wasn't thrilled beforehand, though the personality is good. It was just wasn't I wasn't super you didn't get them butterflies.

SPEAKER_03 45:59

Nothing like that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 46:01

Um and that's why I said like even when it comes to sex specifically, like I have to want to thrust. I have to want to do that.

SPEAKER_03 46:11

You want to thrust? I thought we weren't saying thrust.

SPEAKER_06 46:14

I just want to do that to you, and it wasn't there. So, but I've I've done it. Shame.

SPEAKER_03 46:21

Did you like feel disgusted afterwards a little bit?

SPEAKER_06 46:24

I was like, that was a waste. Throwing dick for what, bro?

SPEAKER_03 46:29

I've done that. Wasted my bones.

SPEAKER_06 46:32

Cannot do that again. I'll be totally fine.

SPEAKER_03 46:34

Yeah. I entertained somebody that I didn't like for like two years. God damn. I know exactly who you're talking about, too. Oh shit. Don't say it. You don't know, nigga. This was a minute ago. I know.

SPEAKER_06 46:49

Nigga, secrets don't make friends. Just don't talk about it.

SPEAKER_03 46:52

I wanna know. That's my sister. I'll do what I want. You too, nigga. If I want to be like, I'm gonna do it. Like, you don't know him. Anyway, I'll tell you after the show. But anyway, I did not like that nigga. Just wasn't it? He just always gave me money and the D was good, but I didn't feel disgusted afterwards. Yeah, I was mean to him, too. You felt disgusted. I didn't know who the fuck I was just telling me about. He was trying to take me out on dates. I I didn't even want to go on a date with him. Oh, that was me. Yeah. I'm like, that I'm like, I don't want to go on dates. Let's just hang out in the house. Chicken wings and fries. Name started with a T or what? No.

SPEAKER_06 47:32

That's interesting because you didn't like going out on dates. This wasn't this just I'm not interested in being outside with you. Do no. Huh? I'm sorry. You're not interested in what? You you just were not interested in being outside with this person. No.

SPEAKER_04 47:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 47:45

Wasn't that type of party? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 47:48

Mm-hmm. Well, yep. That was hot seat. That wasn't even that was cool. That was quick. Solid. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 47:55

Slight discomfort, but not looking crazy.

SPEAKER_03 47:57

Yeah. With the vagina question?

SPEAKER_06 47:59

That last one, because I didn't have any one.

SPEAKER_03 48:02

Oh, there was another one I wanted to actually, but I'll say that I gotta admit it.

SPEAKER_06 48:05

I admitted it. Fucking said it.

SPEAKER_03 48:09

Fucking said it. Not her. Never mind. Alright, move it on. Move it on. Move it on.

unknown 48:16

Come on!

SPEAKER_03 48:20

Now she wanna keep it rolling because she being messy. Now it's time. Would you rather sweet? Would you rather be loved deeply or admired publicly? You can love me deep, baby.

SPEAKER_05 48:45

Yeah. I'll take that. I'll take deep.

SPEAKER_03 48:48

Yeah, for sure. I want the public to love me. It's like, fuck y'all. I'm just playing. Only the dicks, not the menaces. Um, yeah, love me deeply, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 49:01

Insane.

SPEAKER_03 49:02

Yeah. Huh?

SPEAKER_06 49:03

Nothing. Say it. Only the dicks.

SPEAKER_03 49:07

Yeah. Fuck people that are dicks. That's bad. That's not what I was thinking. What were you thinking? Shit, Zelda's texting me. Sorry. Um, what were you thinking?

SPEAKER_05 49:18

Penises.

SPEAKER_03 49:19

Oh, instead of saying dicks.

SPEAKER_05 49:21

What?

SPEAKER_03 49:21

No, never mind. Yeah, never mind. Over my head. Okay. She wants to be admired publicly. We want to be loved deeply.

SPEAKER_06 49:32

Yeah. Love me down.

SPEAKER_03 49:35

Yeah, real bad. Love me up.

SPEAKER_05 49:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 49:40

Would you rather earn slowly and securely or quickly and stressfully? I'm gonna go with slow and secure. I'm saying quick. I have no patience.

SPEAKER_06 49:53

Give me that shit. It's really interesting that you said that. Myron Golden, he's a businessman, he said something so interesting. He said we have bought into the lie that they say the like certain things are get rich quick schemes.

SPEAKER_03 50:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 50:10

But we never buy into the lie, we never I'm paraphrasing, we never um admit that we've bought into the lie that getting being broke for a long time is also a scam.

SPEAKER_03 50:25

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_06 50:26

It's actually faster to get rich quick than it is to be it is.

SPEAKER_03 50:31

You can get rich off social media quickly.

SPEAKER_06 50:35

You can sell a$20 product to a hundred thousand people.

SPEAKER_03 50:38

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_06 50:40

You're making bread.

SPEAKER_03 50:41

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06 50:43

Easily. So I would rather make it fast and even if there's a little bit of risk involved.

SPEAKER_03 50:50

Yeah, okay. I can respect that for sure. Just gotta be smart with it. Yes. I feel like this shit has been slow my whole life, but goddamn, how long am I gonna until I'm secure?

SPEAKER_06 51:01

Yeah, and I think we I think patience, young Jeddah. Like, hey, slow and steady wins the race. But most wealthy people know you gotta get it quick.

SPEAKER_03 51:08

Yeah. Stay up all night.

SPEAKER_06 51:10

That slow and steady shit is a distraction.

SPEAKER_03 51:13

It's a it's a throw y'all off.

SPEAKER_06 51:15

Right. So that so that the ones who are actually getting to it are can get to it really quickly. Right. And those of us who need the responses now are not even paying attention.

SPEAKER_03 51:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 51:25

So I'd rather get that shit fast. Immediately, send it right out.

SPEAKER_03 51:29

No, for real. Let me see then. I'm gonna send you my bank account info. Send me send me Apple Pay. Why is Briel sending me money on Cash App? Anyway. Zoe was just texting me for money. That's why I was like, hold on, let me just send it so she can leave me alone. Now you know she won't text me for the rest of the night. Like, do my kids even like me? Yeah, right. Last one. Would you rather order takeout or stay in and cook? If you want to stay in and cook, what would you cook? I would like to stay in and cook.

SPEAKER_06 52:06

I'd like to stay in and cook as well.

SPEAKER_03 52:08

Me too. I love cooking.

SPEAKER_06 52:10

And my recent go-to meal is beef ribs. I like buying a rack of beef ribs. Not the whole short rib, but like that.

SPEAKER_03 52:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:22

I just think it's enough meat for one or two people to eat. Especially if you cook it right.

SPEAKER_03 52:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 52:28

Low and slow, put some potatoes, maybe some veggies on the side.

SPEAKER_03 52:31

I like that. Ice. Fuck, what would I cook? I cook so many things. They're the fucking chef, so please. I want on my mind right now that honey garlic, Sriracha salmon with the asparagus and that rice tower and the sauce drizzled over it. I like that.

SPEAKER_06 52:55

Sounds wonderful.

SPEAKER_03 52:56

It does. It does. Yeah. If I'm gonna stay in and cook, I really have enjoyed lately. It takes forever sometimes, but cooking um butter steak bites with like a veggie on the side. Usually it's asparagus and um yeah. I was sold at steak. I love me a steak. And the kids love it. Yeah. Yeah. So that shit is good. You cook really well. We all cook really well. We do. That's great. For sure.

SPEAKER_06 53:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 53:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 53:39

And that's the thing because I mean we go out to eat and I enjoy going out there, but I'll be at in the in there thinking I could have done this.

unknown 53:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 53:49

Or yeah. This is okay.

SPEAKER_03 53:52

Right. You know that's how I started making that Florentine. I think that's what it's called, I don't know, but with the sun-dried tomatoes and the basil. I got that shit from a chicken, uh, pizza spot one time. Penne, sun-dried tomatoes, white wine, butter, blah, blah, blah. Wasn't giving. They probably didn't add any seasoning in it at all. I was like, you know what? I'm about to make this shit myself. Made it myself, fire. Ain't never ordered it from anywhere else ever again. It's so good. Yeah. And that's with heavy cream or without.

SPEAKER_06 54:32

Yeah, this lady can fucking cook her ass.

SPEAKER_03 54:34

Yeah, for sure. That's all I have for Would You Rather.

SPEAKER_06 54:39

Very nice. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 54:41

Very nice. Yeah. Okay. On all of them. Yeah, me too. Mm-hmm. Me too. The last one was fun. I like it.

SPEAKER_06 54:54

Same debate club. Goodness. Arguing with the law. I have a question. Can we actually separate sex from emotion? Or are we just lying to ourselves?

SPEAKER_03 55:16

I think if it's like a one and done, but if you're constantly sleeping with something, the emotions are getting in there, buddy. For sure. I love you now.

SPEAKER_06 55:26

I'll love you as soon as I get it.

SPEAKER_03 55:30

You guys are toxic? No. I love you as soon as I get it.

SPEAKER_06 55:34

As soon as I'm in there, I'm in love with you.

SPEAKER_03 55:40

Is something wrong with me? I don't care about that.

SPEAKER_06 55:41

You don't want to have penises?

SPEAKER_03 55:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 55:43

That first, especially if that's great.

SPEAKER_03 55:49

Yeah, because sometimes first signs can be awkward.

SPEAKER_06 55:52

I'm maybe.

SPEAKER_03 55:54

I'm in there.

SPEAKER_06 55:55

And then and then if I like you, forget about it.

SPEAKER_03 55:57

Yeah. Actually, I have done that.

SPEAKER_06 56:00

Yeah, I have done that. And the people that I have done that with one and done probably don't remember their names now, don't even remember what they look like, honestly. But it's hard for me to say that I didn't feel something doing that with the person.

SPEAKER_04 56:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 56:18

That emotional piece was there even in that one-off situation. And that's what I was trying to say. Like it's can you actually genuinely separate it if you go there with that person?

SPEAKER_03 56:32

I think you can. I think it's possible.

SPEAKER_04 56:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 56:36

The person that I was fucking on but didn't like. I was bored. I don't know. Sitting around playing video games and shit. I mean, now I'm where I'm at now in life, but then I was a lot younger.

SPEAKER_06 57:04

Yeah. You know. I think age does have something to do with it. Even today, when I was a kid, people was having sex on the bus and shit like that, or being a freaking at school or something.

SPEAKER_03 57:16

Having sex on the bus.

SPEAKER_06 57:17

It gets wicked in high school guys. Don't want them fool you.

SPEAKER_03 57:20

I mean, I was in high school too, but maybe I just missed that part. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_06 57:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 57:29

For fact. Yeah. I mean, yeah, kids were at school fucking in the bathroom.

SPEAKER_06 57:34

Shit like that. So, but the inhibition piece was there. They weren't thinking about the emotional aspect.

SPEAKER_03 57:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:41

And even though by and large those children are emotionally scarred from those situations, I just don't think that you can. I think if you put physical in there, it's gonna get emotional.

SPEAKER_03 57:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 57:55

Maybe for you specifically, emotionally, it was you were able to separate it. I think there was an emotional aspect to that though. What do you call it when someone is disconnected?

SPEAKER_04 58:09

I don't know.

SPEAKER_06 58:11

There has to be a term for that. Maybe we'll look it up. I don't know. But I think well by and large, people are lying to themselves if they can't say if they are fucking and saying they're emotional.

SPEAKER_03 58:23

Do you think it's more women who get emotional and form those attachments more so than men?

SPEAKER_06 58:31

I think men feel the same. I think men can get around. I don't think we're designed to be monogamous. So niggas spread their seed out. But even then, it's an emotional thing you're doing. You gotta like the girl, you gotta make the girl like you. Even if you are charismatic or charming or anything like that, you still gotta give a little bit to get sex from her. So, and when you're doing it, oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, all that shit's happening at once. You're bonding with one another and choosing to be emotionless about it. I don't know. I think that's a personally I think you're lying to yourself. You think you don't have emotions in that space with that person.

SPEAKER_03 59:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:24

Um though you're human and you can turn it off, so I will acknowledge that.

SPEAKER_03 59:29

Yeah. I've done it.

unknown 59:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:34

I think it's debatable.

SPEAKER_03 59:36

Yeah. I don't like it.

SPEAKER_06 59:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 59:39

So I don't do that anymore. Yeah. Or haven't.

SPEAKER_06 59:43

Because you want it to be emotional. Yeah. You want the connection to be emotional.

SPEAKER_03 59:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 59:47

I get that. Same. I think most men will say the same as well. Though I think if you have to if you're out here fucking multiple bitches, it's something you have to You're gay.

unknown 1:00:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:01

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 1:00:03

I don't know. I'm just kidding.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:05

She started tweeting.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:07

I just think you have to be able to be a different type of person to do that.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:12

And not care about their emotions.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:14

Mm-hmm. Messy.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:16

Very. And disingenuous.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:19

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:21

But that's all I have for debate club. This is a very debatable topic.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:27

I'd like to hear your thoughts about it.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:29

Please share.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:30

Can you have sex and not be emotional about it?

SPEAKER_03 1:00:33

I'm emotional.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:35

I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:36

Won't you? I gotta have you, baby. I love you. I love you. We go together real bad. Yeah, you.

SPEAKER_06 1:00:46

I also think it I mean the quality of the sex is also important if the sex sucked.

SPEAKER_03 1:00:51

Of course. Yeah, I've been digmatized. What? Why'd I just shout that? I was. Yeah. Me too for sure. I still am. I love that. I am not. I mean I haven't had it, but yeah, I did because I'd be thinking about like this called a snigger broke.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:11

So digmatized, and then the pussy whipped would be the equivalent.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:18

When I was married, 100%.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:21

I think that was my issue. I was like, I had never gotten it before, so I'm in there now. Like, this is what this is like.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:26

I'm and it's mine, it's your life.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:29

Yeah. Definitely emotional about that, but well, hold on, also, I guess.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:36

You are not. Stop. Slut. You're dating wannabe. He does. He does.

SPEAKER_04 1:01:42

I'm a slut.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:47

No, you're not. Oh. That was good, Stefan. Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:52

Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:52

Very debatable.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:53

Thank you for coming to the debate club.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:55

Thank you for inviting me.

SPEAKER_06 1:01:57

Yes. You're a good guest to have on our show.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:00

Thank you. I like that you guys keep having me back. Right. Well, I didn't invite you, so I don't know how you got here. Okay. I'll be here. I don't know if I'll be here next week, but I'll think about it. Here we go. Right. She's gonna be here. She's gonna be telling us to get here. All right. Well, I don't feel like playing my intro to talk your shit. I just want to get to talking my shit. Let's talk about it. Okay. Well, you guys should talk your shit first. No. You want me to talk my shit first? Go for it. You're running the show. I know, right? So something that annoyed me. I had some buffalo chicken pizza yesterday. I hate when I get buffalo chicken pizza and they don't put the sauce on it as well. Yeah. I want sauce on my buffalo chicken pizza. Please put sauce on my pizza. It's a little dry with just the buffalo. That's insane. It is.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:03

Do they not like you?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:04

Give me the buffalo chicken pizza. Give me the buffalo sauce.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:08

Where's the buffalo?

SPEAKER_03 1:03:11

I want the pizza sauce with my buffalo chicken slice. Wait, so you want red sauce? Yes. I've had it before. Yeah. I know right where to go to get it. Yeah. And I guess that's where I'm gonna have to go. Where are you gonna go?

unknown 1:03:23

Pisons.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:25

No. You know? New Scotland Avenue. What's it called? I don't remember, but I know exactly where it is. I never remember. I've been that's the only place I really know that does it for years. And I never remember the name of it. Shout out to Pisan Sub because they're my favorite place. Nah, Pisons B.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:42

Their champagne sub is fire.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:44

Yeah, probably the one on Western F. Yeah. My favorite up Western life.

SPEAKER_06 1:03:51

Their pizza is different than the one on Gilder L.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:54

Yeah. That one's good too, though. It is. They have definitely gotten better because they were not. Yeah, but yeah. Py Zounds. Good time. I'll find out the name of that other. Yeah, let us know. Yeah, take it out. That other pizza sounds about. Oh boy now. All right. That was my soul. That's all I had. My Buffalo chicken pizza. Please put sauce on it.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:20

Pizza sauce. I genuinely hate, and I hate using that word, but I hate getting my drink from Starbucks, and it's so far.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:33

Yes. It's like meh.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:36

Mid. And here's the thing. I found my barista. So I know when she makes it, it's gonna be fire every time. But when I get my refresher and it's yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:50

And it's from the same two ones, I'll tell ya. Yeah. You know what's too.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:56

Should we say it?

SPEAKER_03 1:04:58

No.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:59

I ain't gonna do y'all. That's it. It's not but it's deep for me because I Yeah, we get it every day.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:06

Every day. Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:09

Make my drink the way I want it.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:11

Please. Thank you. Didn't make my oob. Didn't make my oob the way I wanted it.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:18

It came out.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:19

That's two through. Two through. I really hate that because again, I you know what to expect, and then when it's not that, it's like disappointing. Like you ain't make my shit right. But when you do take that sip and it is everything you wanted, I'll go back. Makes my day. You know what? Let me spin back. Get another one for the road.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:46

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:47

Got it.

SPEAKER_06 1:05:48

Go to Starbucks. We got a whole fucking six drinks.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:52

Bags. Bags. That's how we do it, guys. Well, that'll be us tomorrow morning. Can't wait to see you, Jayley.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:01

You're amazing.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:03

We love you.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:06

Watch this one being. Nah.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:09

Don't you bet not. She's on. Don't she's mine. You bet not do it. Talk your shit. Mine is panty lines. I do not like seeing panty lines. It's very, very tacky. Well, not everybody wants to wear a thong, bitch. They make panties.

SPEAKER_06 1:06:34

Seamless.

SPEAKER_03 1:06:35

Thank you. How do I? You can still see them lines too. You really can't. If you get a real good solid pair, you can't. I'm a thong girly. But I'm also a seamless. But I like things up my butt all day. I do. That's how I like my niggas too. I'm wearing something like up your butt. Boof it? Nigga, I'm gonna get boofy. Yo, hilarious.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:05

I have a question. What's that? Do you find it weird if a man smells your underwear?

SPEAKER_03 1:07:12

No. I've never seen a man smell my underwear, so I have. I like it. I would like it. You like that? Yeah. I hope that it's a pleasurable experience for you.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:26

I've done it, and sometimes I don't care for it.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:34

Wait, what? Wait. Read. Bring it back.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:38

Sometimes I don't care for it. And here's the thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:41

What care for smelling for panties?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:43

No, for the smell.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:44

Smell of vagina.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:46

That uh the panty has absorbed.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:48

Yeah. Well, is it okay?

SPEAKER_06 1:07:51

And in fairness, vaginas do what they are supposed to do, so I get it.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 1:07:56

But um, I'm not judging or anything like that.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:59

But keep it fresh, ladies. But that's what I'm not understanding.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:05

Vagina's gonna smell like vagina either way. But there's clean there's there's there's things.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:12

Other things, yeah. Like you can't be throwing back cheeseburgers and fucking Hawaiian punches every day and think your vaginas need to smell like yellow five. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So drink water, bitches e-fruit. Yeah, drink is like I literally start my day with a green smoothie every day. Yeah. I need to start doing it. I don't have time.

SPEAKER_06 1:08:37

But in fairness, I haven't done that in a long time. Granted, I'm not out here sniffing panties, but still.

SPEAKER_03 1:08:42

Yeah. And then my smoothie spot doesn't open till 10. And I have to be to work at 10. I go to Uncommon Grounds. I'm be like, if I'm not making it myself, I go to Uncommon Grounds and get mine. Or bear or whatever, but yeah. Yeah, but I'm like around because I'm dropping the kids off and shit, so right. Keep it clean ass and Starbucks. And leave them damn talkies alone. Leave them damn talkies alone. Use wipes. Mm-hmm. Damn. Talk your shit. Yeah. Yeah. That was my shit talk.

SPEAKER_00 1:09:22

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SPEAKER_03 1:10:17

I like that. Sauce on my pizza. Alright, well, let's get into you wanna play my song or no? I don't know if I want to play it. I want to play yours. I just need a new one for mine. Because I'm over it. Let's calm it down.

unknown 1:10:35

We've been pretty calm.

SPEAKER_03 1:10:53

Eighteen seconds of bullshit. Let's get into health, wealth, and positivity. Very nice. Consistency builds trust faster than words. Yes. Yes. That is a very healthy way to live. Agreed. Please practice that. You fucks. Discipline creates freedom. Yes. Different kind of freedom. Yeah. That's fancy, I like it. Peace becomes attractive when chaos gets exhausting. That's sad. It takes that. It takes that, but sometimes it does. Sometimes you don't even know that you're living that way because that's what you know. So it's like when you can identify it.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:03

Or that you're accepting that from another person.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:06

Yeah. I've done it.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:11

Gotta go, buddy.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:12

Yeah, you're out of here.

SPEAKER_06 1:12:13

I'm out of here. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:15

You got it. Immediately. Mm-hmm. Yeah, unlock that. Fuck this. Yes. And quiet. Yeah. Yeah, I can't. Don't bring that chaos over into my life. Agreed. Freaking dot. Well. That is all I have for health, wealth, and positivity today. Very nice.

SPEAKER_05 1:12:40

I receive it.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:42

Thank you. With her whack ass little clap. I know. Fuck. Stopping some hand. Sorry, guys. I'm trying to be funny. It's not funny. Not the clap. I like that health, wealth, and positivity. Really? Thank you. Mm-hmm. I feel like I haven't done it in a while. No, I'll take that. I feel like I haven't done any of this in a while. Whenever we it's weird. Yeah. We don't record every day, so. No, we don't. That's but I think that's why I love it so much every week. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah. It's awesome. Well. Thanks for a great show. A great beautiful show. Great show. Very like laid back.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:21

I'm sad it's already over.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:22

I know. Yeah. I feel like this episode was on magnesium. Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:28

For sure.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:29

A little lavender. Brandon said we were lame last episode nine.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:35

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:36

It's like he ain't say lame. He ain't saying lame. He ain't saying lame. He's like, I ain't gonna put that on. But you said that the energy wasn't there. Well, we're not gonna be hype every episode, Brandon. Fuck. Yeah, fuck. Bring your ass on here.

SPEAKER_06 1:13:50

Bring your black ass on. I think we're pretty hype every episode. We I laugh with it every single time. Yeah, we do, we do.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:56

If we a little tired, but I'll be having a blast. Yeah. Don't blame me. It'd be a third. Don't fucking blame me, brother.

unknown 1:14:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:05

That's great. Guys, you don't have to do file, follow the channel. Hit us up. Subscribe. 802-319-9133. My bad. I haven't said it in a while.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:16

Yeah. If you guys are listening audio only, go to YouTube. For sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:27

The edits are hilarious.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:29

YouTube.com slash wholesome menace to go to the channel.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:34

Go to the website. It'll bring you to the channels. Holesomemenace.com. Call us. Yeah. Freaking call us, guys. Or send us a text message. Something.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:42

Yeah, you might end up on the show. You never know.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:45

If you want to.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:14:46

If you wanna. Mm-hmm. Yeah. You wanna. Y'all wanna come on the show. If you wanna be heard on the show.

SPEAKER_06 1:14:55

We drop tomorrow. Yeah, it's fun. Also, tomorrow. Today's the 20th. Oh, yes. Saturday, March 21st. Holes of Menace drops on WG W Dj Y 99.1 FM.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:15

In Atlanta, Atlanta.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:17

In Atlanta at three o'clock.

SPEAKER_04 1:15:18

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:21

Know somebody in Atlanta. Tell them that we're on the show, guys. Run up the screens.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:26

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_06 1:15:27

Yeah. So cool. I can't I can't believe it. We're here though.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:30

Yeah, I know it. Yeah. I'm gonna share that actually on Facebook.

unknown 1:15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:15:37

Okay. Well, guys, that was our show for day. For day. Jesus Christ. Here we go. My turn to be embarrassed. Get it together. All right, guys. Stay wholesome, but don't forget to be a menace. Until next time, we're out.