The Wholesome Menace Podcast
The Wholesome Menace Podcast is a relationship, parenting, and personal growth podcast where honest conversations meet uncomfortable truths. Hosts Stephane, Crystal, and Rissa tackle dating, marriage, fatherhood, communication, mental health, self-awareness, and the challenges of everyday life. Through real stories, debates, games, and unfiltered discussions, we explore what it means to grow into better partners, parents, and people. If you’re looking for authentic conversations about relationships, self-improvement, family, and modern life, you’re in the right place. New episodes weekly.
The Wholesome Menace Podcast
The Lost Episode
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
This episode almost never saw the light of day.
It’s a little glitchy—but the conversation? Too real to keep hidden.
We sat on this one for a while… but some conversations don’t wait for perfect conditions. So instead of pulling the plug—we pulled the trigger.
This episode is packed with laughs, raw moments, and thought-provoking questions that hit deeper than expected.
Heads up: If you’re here for visuals, this one leans more into the audio experience—but trust us, it still delivers.
Sometimes the imperfect ones hit the hardest.
We're good. And we're recording.
unknownOkay. Wonder if you need a notice.
SPEAKER_04Just wanna be okay.
SPEAKER_03I'm your host, Chris Marie. We got Steph, we got Risa. What's up? What's going on with you guys? Anything cool lately?
SPEAKER_06Glad to be back at work.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, same.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, actually, really, really excited to be back at work.
SPEAKER_03Me too.
SPEAKER_06Not that we didn't have purpose before, but niggas are super motivated.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we got things going on.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So got things going on. We'll let you guys know soon. There's things in the works for the whole summer after. For sure. And it's exciting.
SPEAKER_01I'm always happy to be here. This is my only work right now. So nice. Yeah. When I can come, it's definitely a good time. A grand very meaningful for me.
SPEAKER_06Love that. Yeah. That's fire. But oh, this week's been pretty good to have a little no issues. I can't really complain. I always I always have a good day.
SPEAKER_03So yeah, that's true, you do. Good for you.
SPEAKER_06How about you, ladies? Good week.
SPEAKER_03Oh, I've been a little sick, so I've missed work pretty much the whole week. Can't say I'm really complaining about that.
SPEAKER_02It's been good to rest a little bit.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, so I think I caught it like a little stomach bug or something, guys. But I'm okay now. Um, of course I made it here.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Always forever. Yeah. This is my number one, two after my kids. Yeah. Um yeah. So the week's been pretty, it's been pretty smooth though.
SPEAKER_06Sweet. Sweet, sweet, sweet. How about you later yourself?
SPEAKER_01Um, it's been pretty good, I suppose. I had school. Um the whole class failed dark was the other day. Yeah. Teacher must have been proud. Yeah. Wicked. Gotcha. But yeah. Just a day in the life.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, sweet. Yeah. Sweet. I like it. I feel like that's um a really great way to jump into some attitude and gratitude. Yes, for sure. Uh this one's kind of like it got me by the heart strings.
SPEAKER_03I was gonna say the balls. I thought he was too. I was gonna get you by the balls. Alright, sorry, heart strings, heart strings, heart strings.
SPEAKER_06Heart strings, not balls today, guys. Fucking hell. Okay, my bad.
SPEAKER_05Let's get it.
unknownI'm gonna not blow.
SPEAKER_04Sh the ho.
SPEAKER_03I kept it cute on that one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you do.
SPEAKER_06We appreciate that. That's fire. Real calm. Ladies, I don't know if you uh uh saw on the news uh Eric Dane passed away yesterday.
SPEAKER_03I did see that.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. Super.
SPEAKER_03I do not know that.
SPEAKER_06Eric Dane is best known for his uh role in playing Dr. Mark Sloan in the American medical drama Grey's Anatomy.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Very handsome man.
SPEAKER_06Super handsome. They called him Dr. McDreer McDreamy. Super just handsome white man. Yes.
SPEAKER_03Then I gotta look up. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Um just passed away. He was diagnosed with ALS, I think, last year, yeah before last year. I'm sorry. So just somebody who was super, super healthy and just deterioration.
SPEAKER_00So really sad.
SPEAKER_06So uh before he passed away, he did a Netflix interview, um, talking to his daughters and giving him giving them his last words, right? And I I listened to it and I literally was stuck.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So I want to read what he said verbatim, and then I have two questions that I want to ask you ladies about kind of that space that he was in. Okay. Alright.
SPEAKER_03Sorry, I want to apologize for the dinging, but I have to read my message for my baby.
SPEAKER_04Go for it.
SPEAKER_03Um, she just said, We love you too response, and then she's like, I hope you do well on your podcast. Sorry if you're filming, love you.
SPEAKER_02Like I love my babies.
SPEAKER_03Girl, you know we film.
SPEAKER_05We just on the film.
SPEAKER_02That's fire. Okay, sorry, continue.
SPEAKER_06He says, I want to tell you four things I've learned from this disease, and I hope you don't just listen to me. I hope you hear me. First, live now, right now in the present. It's hard, but I've learned to do that. For years, I've wandered off mentally, lost in my head for long chunks of time, wallowing and worrying in self-pity and shame and doubt. I replayed decisions, sucking guessed to myself. I should have done this, I never should have done that, no more. That's end quote. My question to you today, ladies, when all is said and done, what message would you leave behind as you enter the long good night?
SPEAKER_03Like if it was happening now. Or whatever.
SPEAKER_06His message is to live now.
SPEAKER_03And his message is to live now because he has this disease that he's been living with, so he has like a significant reason. So that's why I'm saying, is it now like oh like something happened or just you're dying? Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Not even that. His point, the point I think that I gathered from him was that you're here now.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_06You're here right now, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So, and he wants his girls to know to live right now, be present.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_06Because you can spend your days as an adult in here.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06And then you're two or three weeks, sometimes months ahead of time, because you know shit's coming up, you're doing X, Y, Z, right? But what would you want your kid to know and understand and feel? What would you leave behind? What was the question I said? Um what message would you want to leave behind specifically to your children and people who who you care about when you do go, right? What's that you're living for now that you want them to know and live by? This is somebody who got diagnosed something last year and now he's Yeah, he's gone.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I would want my kids to not be selfish, but live for themselves. Do you know what makes you happy. Yeah. Do what feels good to you in your heart, even if other people are telling you you should go against it.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_06That's deep.
SPEAKER_03You know.
SPEAKER_06I like that a lot. What about you later yourself?
SPEAKER_01Well. Actually, it's crazy because I think about this a lot. You know what I mean? Like just not being here for my kids. I've never really thought about like what to say. Like, I know what I want for them. You know? It's just I guess I would tell them to get to know each other and love each other, take care of each other. Yeah. Because really nobody's gonna take care of your kids like you will. For sure. So it's like if I'm gone, I would like for them to all have pieces of me and bring that together.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And take care of each other without me because I'm very close to my kids. Okay. And I think they'd be devastated if I wasn't here.
SPEAKER_06The whole entire planet.
SPEAKER_03So, and then obviously, mean living with heart disease and constantly going on heart failure, like this is a very scary but real thought for me.
SPEAKER_06For sure. I I get it. So, um your perspective is very unique.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I I would for sure just want them to be close and take care of each other.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And then find all those pieces of me within each other. I fucking love that. That's fucking dope.
SPEAKER_06Listen up, children. Sorry, I shouldn't have cursed.
SPEAKER_03That's alright.
SPEAKER_01They've heard me say far worse.
SPEAKER_06That is awesome. I it's funny that you said that because I wrote something down that I would want to tell my sons. I wrote two things down. I said, I would tell my sons to chase the source of all things. I said, God. I put Proverbs 3 verse 5, um, which says, Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. I feel if I could tell anybody that on the planet, again. Yeah, run with that. Um, I would tell them to love each other very fiercely because this life is barely worth living without love. That's what I'll tell them. Wellington Weston. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_06This is what I got for you, bro. Um you got something.
SPEAKER_03I started fuck. I'm not gonna cry, you're crying. No, I'm not, I'm not. Um, you know, the kids are touchy.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I started a journal. I have leather journals.
SPEAKER_06Fire.
SPEAKER_03And I wanna I started writing in each one. One for Gia, one for Zoe.
SPEAKER_06Fire.
SPEAKER_03And I I need to um, I need to find time, even if it's an hour a day. Not even if it doesn't have to be an hour, but minutes in a day to write in both of them.
SPEAKER_06That's fire.
SPEAKER_03And just do that because if anything ever happened, I think about it too. You know, when you're a parent, you think about it. Yeah. A lot. Yeah. And if anything ever happened to me when I'm gone, I want them to know how I feel about them, why I've done all the things I did, why they were mad at me about something they were mad at me about, and just being able to talk to them through something that they can keep uh close to them, yeah, and with them. I feel like it's important.
SPEAKER_06Big time. I feel like a lot of parents never get there with their children.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Especially when they enter adulthood.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06They just forget that you you kind of need that other piece of it as an a kid growing up to an adult. You don't talk about the bills, you don't talk about the this and the that.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_06You know what I mean? So, or why this was happening, why we lived here. We don't they don't know that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we forget a lot of times that our parents were like young.
SPEAKER_02Not people. But they were their own people. They are their own people.
SPEAKER_06Living their life trying to figure that shit out. It's good and bad. Big time with their own parents.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_03So I actually do think about that type of shit.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. So you gotta give them grace. I think that's where I forgave my dad because I realized that he I think it was just doing that shit the best he could. Yeah. Yeah. You know, definitely. And I can't fault him for as a man for doing the best he could with what he got.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And like our mom lost her mom at a young age. Yeah, so young. Like when you think about it, she was 20 years old. Like, I literally couldn't even imagine right now.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03At 36, like, no way.
SPEAKER_06Definitely. I this is a touchy subject.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we might have to make this a main. Yeah. Yeah, because we could we could uh we it could be uh uh parents or people too. We talked about that. We talked about something like that. Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02Mind your business, guys. You don't know our topics. You don't know about our topics.
SPEAKER_06I got one more question for you guys. Okay. What are you doing now for yourself and for others?
SPEAKER_03Well, for myself, I really have been doing my best to be in a space of just positivity and optimism because I've been struggling a lot, and a lot of it just has to do with how I'm feeling um physically, you know. So um, because I really do struggle and and yes, I push through it, but I don't think that's always the best thing for me. It's not always the healthiest thing. I just do it because I look at like what other choice do I have? You know, like these kids gotta eat, these kids gotta get to school, these kids gotta get picked up.
SPEAKER_01Like my world literally revolves around being a mom. Being a mom, yes. And and I'm not complaining. I love it.
SPEAKER_03I love that I'm even in a space right now to be able to give that to them, her kids and mine. You know, it just um gets to a point where sometimes I feel like I don't have that time anymore just for me.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like to just sit with myself and decompress and like really just take care of myself. Um, because I don't I just don't have the things that I need to to be able to do that right now, and I know it's gonna change. So that's where like the positivity and the optimism come in for me. Um, and what was the other part of the question? I'm sorry. That's what I'm doing for me. What are you doing for us for others? Oh, for others?
SPEAKER_06You do for others really.
SPEAKER_03Well, I just think pretty much told you. Yeah, taking care of them. Take care of my kids while I work. That's something huge.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Not just not. She takes care of my kids so I can work and do everything. It's not no, but yeah, it comes like full circle when when you think about it. Like she's able to do what she needs to do, and and the kids are safe, they're taken care of, and yeah. And I get to throw money at everybody as well. I love it. I love it. Um, I feel like what am I doing for myself? Right now, what I feel like I'm doing for myself mostly is this podcast.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I feel like this is something that I am super focused on. It means more to me than I can really put into words. And it's fulfilling me in ways that are new, and in some ways that I've been waiting for. So it I'm still processing that we're doing this. And what I'm doing for other people, if I'm keeping it in pod terror uh territory, I feel like hopefully I'm making people laugh, hopefully I'm giving people insight, us collectively, you know. Yeah. Um that's what I feel. That's fine. That's what I'm doing right now. I feel like I feel like I'm supplying you, you people, you good people, you good menaces with laughs and things. I was gonna say I'm supplying you, motherfucker. You know, I'm like fucking Samuel Jackson. That must have been my my daddy in another life. But yeah, that's how I feel. I feel like I'm doing things that are great for a community that we might not know yet. Right. And that's slowly growing every day, and I love that.
SPEAKER_06Big time. Sweet. You I am focusing on my physical body.
SPEAKER_01I love that.
SPEAKER_06Um the more time I spend on eating the right things um or eating within my caloric intake, um, the more time I spend walking, I'm healing my body, which makes me better. I feel better.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_06If I feel better, I look better, and if I look better, I am I'm acting. I walk the park, walk the walk, as it were.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Um, and how you do one thing is how you do everything, so that's gonna translate in all the other areas of my life.
SPEAKER_01So Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I've been eating like a pig before we started the pod. I had popcorn, I had candy, I had Chinese, that was Reese's, I had juice, I had It's okay. I'm sorry, it's it's that time of the month. I told you guys it was coming. Run the play. You guys are gonna know my cycle with me. Sorry, I just had to. You were just talking about such healthy eating. I'm like, I gotta get back.
SPEAKER_02I've got to take back together.
SPEAKER_03That's why I'm going hiking in the blizzard tomorrow morning. I'm gonna go ahead and fight it.
SPEAKER_06It feels good, but don't get me wrong, like I just spent probably like four or five months where I just didn't care about my diet. Yeah, and I feel different as I've been taking like the habits that I need to take.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_06Feel very different. I feel lighter. Yes. Yep, actually lighter. Yeah, because yeah, ladies, that's all I have for attitude and gratitude.
SPEAKER_03That was great. Hope that was kind of self-aware. Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Live for now, guys. Not that you shouldn't prepare for the future, but be present.
SPEAKER_03Right. Yeah. You know, that's something I'm gonna do. It's very easy to not. Yeah, it is. You know, I think uh stay present with the emotions and always, I miss you guys, I miss my girl. Yeah. But also, um, I don't know, staying in tune. For sure. Staying in tune. Just working through the all right now. Let's get off the heavy and get ready for. Oh god, wait. For me to whoop some ass.
SPEAKER_01Oh let her do it to your brother. This might be name that tune, name that quote.
SPEAKER_03Let's get it. All right. I need to get buzzers for you guys. That'd be fun. That'd be funny.
SPEAKER_01That would be funny and fun.
SPEAKER_03All right. I think I will go with a movie first. Do you know the movie or not?
SPEAKER_01No, it's not. I know it. It's not that, but they're on the same table.
SPEAKER_03I don't need an explanation. We just need a movie to wait.
SPEAKER_01Give me a second, give me a second. You have no clue.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Damn, Stefan. Fuck me, bro. That was a great one. I'm sorry. I can't I've been dying.
SPEAKER_06I would never seen that movie.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I'm not surprised. You know, like we need a movie. We need a movie day.
unknownI do.
SPEAKER_03The three of us need a movie. For sure. Yeah, we're gonna have to do that.
SPEAKER_06Very embarrassed. You should be.
SPEAKER_03Don't be. It's like, nah, don't be. That's a little well, Quentin Tarantino.
SPEAKER_06I do like Quentin Tarantino movies.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. This was like different though. I kind of like Planet Terror. Yeah. So too.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'd love them, but you gotta see them. Yeah, you definitely have to see them.
SPEAKER_06That's Meg the Stallion.
SPEAKER_01I don't think so. I don't know any make the stallions, but I don't know any make the stallions. Yeah, like songs.
SPEAKER_03I could be wrong, but I don't think that's what that is.
SPEAKER_02That was your third time.
SPEAKER_03No, just kidding. I'm like, what is it? Ah, that's hilarious. You don't know? I don't know what. All right, uh, you got one more time. Would you like me to play one more time? Please.
SPEAKER_01I know, I know I'm no clue. Tell us.
SPEAKER_03You guys don't even want the timer?
SPEAKER_01Okay, give us the timer.
SPEAKER_03Shit. I don't know it. Alright, you guys don't know it, so I'll just give you this.
SPEAKER_05That would be the biggest, the largest.
SPEAKER_06Oh, big X, the fucking big.
SPEAKER_03I should get a lifeline. If I would have called Baris, he would have known. You guys just trying to pull out all the stuff. Yeah. And have her that's a good idea. What is that game show they do that on? You can you get one call, How to Make a Millionaire? Correct. Yeah, well, this ain't that.
SPEAKER_06They're the ones that have that 60-second timer I was talking about.
SPEAKER_03This nigga won't be able to do that. 60 60 seconds. He's already killed anything.
SPEAKER_06For the shit he don't know.
SPEAKER_03Crazy. Just somewhere clear. You'll get a 10-second timer. And that's all you get.
SPEAKER_06Insanity. Um, and now I hear I can't get the song out of my head now that I heard.
SPEAKER_05The biggest, the largest.
unknownDamn.
SPEAKER_03Oh, it got me. Big X applaud. I don't know any of this new stuff. My bad gang. I don't know any of this new stuff. It's ridiculous.
SPEAKER_04My bad gang.
SPEAKER_03So that was a song. So now we need a quote, huh? Mm-hmm. Sorry, that's one of my all-time favorites. King of New York, Christopher Walkin. He's a class. I just ah, Christopher Walker. It's a classic wisdom.
SPEAKER_01That's dope.
SPEAKER_03He is a dope guy.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Oh, baby boy. Sucks. Baby boy. She's smoking you again. I gotta think of some shit. You know what? It's alright. I got you.
SPEAKER_06Earlier today, guys. If I played peekaboo. I played peekaboo by Lil Yachty. Shout out to Lil Boat. And they called me a YN.
SPEAKER_02He did. I'm like, we don't know that song. Oh, he knows it because he's a YN.
SPEAKER_06That's why. They said absolutely. That's what they said.
SPEAKER_03Listen to Lil Yadde.
SPEAKER_06I do be listening.
SPEAKER_03Little Yachtte.
SPEAKER_06Shout out to Lil Boat. That's my dog. He's a good rapper. He was saying some shit.
SPEAKER_03Called him Lil Boat. Little Yachte. Alright. One more. One more. Give it to me.
SPEAKER_02Oh God.
SPEAKER_03Shout out to you, Reese. Fuck it. I don't care who gets it now. It's just funny watching someone obliterate the other at this moment. Fuck me, bro. Obliterate. Y'all know what the fuck I mean.
SPEAKER_01Oh, man. Hey, huh? I just knew you was gonna get that last one.
SPEAKER_06Can I tell you what I thought the song was?
SPEAKER_01Please. Oh shit.
SPEAKER_06DJ, won't you play this girl love song?
SPEAKER_03I wish you would have said it.
SPEAKER_06I wish he would have kept it. Play that shit out. Play that shit. Play that shit. Tell me, play that shit, nigga.
SPEAKER_03DJ what?
SPEAKER_06Play that song, which you just played.
SPEAKER_03Just the beat that I played.
SPEAKER_06Just the beat.
SPEAKER_03First of all, relax. Just the beat.
SPEAKER_06Just drop the beat.
SPEAKER_05DJ G. Play it.
SPEAKER_04Drop the beat. Play it.
SPEAKER_02Well, rain on me and take on me. I will never forget. I will never forget when you said that stupid shit.
SPEAKER_06Doodle garbage.
SPEAKER_02Yo, that was hilarious. Well, this round of name that tune. Name that quote goes to Reaston Win.
SPEAKER_06It's a competitive sport. I am not doing well. I am not doing well. It's like 0 for 2 right now. Back to back. She's fucking crushed it.
SPEAKER_03Niggas is stressed. Is it just two? He's hoyting.
SPEAKER_06Back to back.
SPEAKER_03That baby hoyting. Baby boy.
SPEAKER_06Tomorrow might be a three-peat. We see. We'll see.
SPEAKER_03We'll see. You might be. You might be. Baby boy is hoit. Optimism.
SPEAKER_06There's there might be a slight. You guys are sisters. Therefore, you guys, I know you guys watch it.
SPEAKER_03Now he's pulling the fucking sister card. I knew this would happen. I knew this would happen. Just remember. Okay. Just remember. He pulled it.
SPEAKER_06I just know that.
SPEAKER_03I don't mean wanting her to get. You know what?
SPEAKER_06I know you don't want to.
SPEAKER_03Remember that we're sisters.
SPEAKER_06I know that.
SPEAKER_03I remember we're sisters. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah, he's biased.
SPEAKER_06I'm not biased. I love you guys and Robert King.
SPEAKER_03You know what I you know what I actually think he knows?
SPEAKER_06I'm not.
SPEAKER_03Delusional. Delunio. Deluna. Welcome to the delusional episode. We might need to let Stefano fit. Here we go.
SPEAKER_04Here we go.
unknownAlright.
SPEAKER_01Delusions.
SPEAKER_06This is my favorite one. I like this one a lot.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Are delusions. I'm on your ass after her segment. I ain't gonna be rude. A lifestyle choice?
SPEAKER_01Let's see. You're not stuck. You're comfortable.
SPEAKER_06You're delusional.
SPEAKER_03I don't know who needs to hear this, but that's a good one. Yeah. That's a real general.
SPEAKER_01Respectfully.
SPEAKER_06You're delusional.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Too comfortable.
SPEAKER_03I shouldn't never get too comfortable. Too comfortable for my comfort.
SPEAKER_06And what would all right, so boom. When you're doing things, things come to you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06If you're not doing shit, things typically don't come to you.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_06We're evidence of that.
SPEAKER_03You need movement.
SPEAKER_06You know what I mean? You gotta create some type of momentum for yourself.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, for sure. So but some people are literally comfortable where they're at. Yeah. With nothing. I'll be comfortable on my hundred acres, on my house. I mean, in my house, with your guys' houses surrounding it, 20 acres that way, 20 acres that way. Don't call before you come. Yeah, shit like golf cart over there to you. Yeah. We can do it.
SPEAKER_0620 acres, bro.
SPEAKER_03Oh, we're sisters, so you can come whenever you want. This nigga gotta call.
SPEAKER_01Wow. All right, you ready for the next one? Yeah, I'm ready for it. You say you're healing, but keep returning to what hurts you.
SPEAKER_00Scary.
SPEAKER_06I think you're delusional.
SPEAKER_03Very delusional. That is very toxic. It is.
SPEAKER_06You're crazy.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Why would you just stop doing that? Don't do that.
SPEAKER_06And masochistic.
SPEAKER_03If you don't regret it already, you're gonna regret it. A little? A little bit.
SPEAKER_06Trauma response.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. All of that. Stockholm? Depending on the situation. On the person. Just either way, though, all of that collectively not healthy? Toxic? That sounds horrible. Delusional. Leave it alone. Yeah. They don't love you, love yourself.
SPEAKER_01Last one. You're not too real. You're just unfiltered and sometimes careless.
SPEAKER_03Okay, and the hell. It's like, nah, that's for real. That's about me.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna take my hat off.
SPEAKER_06Oh yeah, you're delusional.
SPEAKER_01Shoes and fitting. Yeah. He's fitting a little good.
SPEAKER_02I'm a real ass bitch. I'm real.
SPEAKER_03I hate when people walk around saying that shit. I'm real. I'm a real ass nigga. If you're real, we gon' feel it, sucker. Right. And you are. That is hilarious.
SPEAKER_06Real lips in the game, kid.
SPEAKER_03That's all I have for the delusion olympics. I like it. Thanks for the shots. I like it a lot. You're welcome. That was good. Now it's time for our main topic, I believe.
SPEAKER_06Sure is.
SPEAKER_03Or am I jumping the gun? Gotti! Gotti.
SPEAKER_06You don't have to do me every time I did it once. Um I have a question.
SPEAKER_03You always do.
SPEAKER_06I always do. Are other people responsible for your triggers?
SPEAKER_01Hells yeah. I don't let me think about this. I don't have to think about it. No, other people aren't responsible.
SPEAKER_06They're not. I like that. Um triggers are a wound. It's like a bruise that you get. And if somebody touches it, does that make them is it their fault that you have a bruise?
SPEAKER_03You see if they don't touch it.
SPEAKER_06Is it is it their fault that they touched it, or is it just indicative that you are in need of healing? And maybe safeguarding yourself. So that you don't because typically when somebody says that triggered me or you triggered me to do this, their behavior on the other side of the triggering is not appropriate, you know, or it's not nice or whatever the case might be.
SPEAKER_03Right. Mind over matter, self-control.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I feel like sometimes people like think that being triggered it means that you're being disrespectful, but those aren't the same things.
SPEAKER_03Right. No, it's I it's being triggered is a feeling. What comes after that is what comes after that. You're you feel triggered, meaning something someone did or said or something that happened is what triggered you. That was the trigger.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03However, my I feel like you are in control of how you let those things affect you.
SPEAKER_06100%.
SPEAKER_03And which brings the mind over matter into play and whatever else I said, I'm sorry. Are we tired? A little bit. Um, but um, yeah, I I just that's I just feel like you are in control of your trigger points. Train yourself not to be triggered by the shit that triggers you. That's easier said than done for sure.
SPEAKER_06But yeah, your triggers, I mean your trauma explains who you are, explains why you might do what you do. But it that's still not an excuse for your behavior in light of that, right?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because seek the help you need to must. You must fix that.
SPEAKER_06It's your responsibility to manage your own behavior.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Even though the trauma is valid.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_06You know, somebody might say, I've been cheated on before, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you are that now I have to accept you being overly jealous or you know, controlling or any of the other things that may be associated with somebody getting triggered.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06You know, you're out in public and your your boyfriend is charismatic, and so he's working the crowd.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_06But you're insecure because you think he's flirting with everyone. Right.
SPEAKER_03How many times has I actually big girl panties on bitch? I'll live alone.
SPEAKER_06You know?
SPEAKER_03Damn. That was harsh.
SPEAKER_06Is is accountability the same as blame?
SPEAKER_03Get that together. Huh?
SPEAKER_06Do you feel like accountability is the same as blame?
SPEAKER_03No. Hell no.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You can blame anything on anyone and have no leg to stand on. You know, you're just saying anything. And accountability is something I feel like is a personal thing that you have to do. Like nobody can take accountability. Well, people can take accountability for other people. Take accountability for your shit.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I well, a reason why you say that is because when somebody's triggered, they are blaming somebody else for that feeling.
SPEAKER_03That's the easy thing to do. Exactly. And that's where that work needs to come in for you to go fix what might be bothering you. Therapy or girl, whatever the case may be. And realize I am allowing this thing, person, situation to control me. And yeah. Yeah. I'm allowing it. And I feel like once you start thinking like that, you're like, shit, I'm doing this to myself.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, you you hold yourself accountable, and that sustains you long term rather than you said that to me, and that that messed up what I was thinking, or you messed up my mood.
SPEAKER_03So every time someone says that thing to you, you're gonna mess get your thoughts messed up, or you're gonna get triggered emotionally. So material to do is train yourself, then I guess to not be fucking triggered by those things.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I'm getting annoyed.
SPEAKER_06We live in a world triggered. We live in a world of perpetual offense. Everybody's offended by everything.
SPEAKER_03It's disgusting. Well, there's nobody has a backbone. I can't take shit on the chin and just like everything is not about you. Mm-hmm. Like a period.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. And people are sensitive. We get that.
SPEAKER_03But people are insecure. People are miserable. People are people are old. People are sensitive. Yeah, they really are.
SPEAKER_06And they disguise those things as triggers.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and so just know that a lot of those people that are like that has nothing to do with you. It's everything to do with them and their bullshit that they're not dealing with. For sure. Oh, I can go on for days about this.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I just realized even just that in my workspace, sometimes people will say, Yeah, I'm just I'm just a little triggered into de escalator.
SPEAKER_03I need to look how can the same thing be.
SPEAKER_06But it's a response.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_06And I get that. But you're responsible for how you behave even if you get triggered.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So exactly. I don't know. The adulting, when you I obviously everyone is wants to be lighthearted, but when when you're adulting, especially out here in this world, like people don't realize that how you behave around other people is important, right? You can fuck up somebody's whole mood.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And get punched.
SPEAKER_06If you're fucking with the wrong person. Because you can't regulate.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah. Especially as an adult though. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You can fuck up situations for yourself.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_06That reputation is a big thing. You can be known as somebody who's even like at work, somebody somebody might say you're ghetto, you know what I mean? And that that's not necessarily a bad thing per se, because we understand some cultural nuances there. Yeah. But you don't want to be seen as unreasonable or lacking decency or things like that. So that was my main topic today, ladies. I just realized that I've been dealing with a lot of people who are triggered lately now don't understand it because I'm super level mind.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Don't let a lot of shit get to me.
SPEAKER_03So but you also use your brain and you think of other situations. You you're not just like so focused on one thing. You're like, how can I make this better? How can I get through this? Yeah. Opposed to just let me just lash out and express myself in a childish way. For sure. That I think that does have a lot to do with trauma. I think it also is a huge thing to do with lack of emotional control.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Even at there's people I know 50 plus. Still struggling with no emotional control.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And it's just that's selfish in a way. I had to think about it like that when I I didn't have emotional control, alright? I'm doing things, but it's not just affecting me. I I couldn't care how it affects me because it made me feel good at the time. But big picture and long term, it's not always a good thing. Big time.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Work on yourselves, guys. I'm working on myself too.
SPEAKER_03Me too. Every day, daily. That should be a thing that people are doing all the time. It's not your it that work is never done. You can always be better, you can always learn more. You can always grow. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Even with, you know, at an elderly age, it never stops. Yeah. So yeah.
SPEAKER_01That's all I got. I liked it. Yes. Like the weather we've been having here.
SPEAKER_04It's the hot seat.
SPEAKER_03Well, I was talking and I meant to ask before Reese we even started today. I was thinking I was just gonna pick some questions today that we all could answer in the hot seat. Okay. Instead of picking the names. Kind of tired of swishing around that bowl. I do kind of like that. I know. I like that too. I can't lie, I'm not gonna lie, I'm being lazy today. Yeah, I know it means you know what? Fuck it. We'll pick the names. I got the bowl right here. Just say you want to answer some questions. Listen, I don't ever mind answering questions. We're gonna go ahead and pick. Tell the truth. I love the truth. So how many guys? Alright. Well, God must I hear Jack as a cheer turn, buddy. This is why I shut the f no, you go ahead and you keep talking to me. You go ahead and you keep on chatting.
SPEAKER_06Great.
SPEAKER_03Keep on chatting to me.
SPEAKER_06Great.
SPEAKER_03Alright.
SPEAKER_06This is your fault. We're supposed to all answer this question.
SPEAKER_03Alright. Are you afraid of abandonment or intimacy?
SPEAKER_06Intimacy. You wanna get close.
SPEAKER_01Abandonment is easy. I can be by myself. For sure. I'm sorry, that's not my question.
SPEAKER_03Are you afraid of abandonment or intimacy? And you said you wouldn't even get close.
SPEAKER_01He's afraid of intimacy.
SPEAKER_06You want to get close.
SPEAKER_03Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_06That's a lot. Let's be honest.
SPEAKER_03I need a breakdown. Why?
SPEAKER_06Um, again, because they see the good and the bad. A lot of people they hide behind the person that they want people to see.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06You know, the what we all put on to go out into the world, and that's not while that is you, I respect you putting that person on. That's not all of you, right? You might have a host of things that you hide from the world that this person now sees. And you see it daily. This happens a lot in marriage. Like you get married, especially if you do it traditionally, you don't live with each other. Now you're together in the house and they see all of it. Right? See all the faults. And that person has to choose to love you in spite of those things. That's a lot because not a lot of people have it in them to give you that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06They say they want love, but that shit is different when you're giving somebody real intimacy and they can see. Transparently what's going on.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I'm I'm afraid of that shit because bitches is weird. And they will take that and they won't uplift you. They might tear you down. Niggas are weird. That's a trauma response, Joe.
SPEAKER_04Oh well. The first step is admin that brother Benoit.
SPEAKER_03Yo. Yeah, listen. That was good. There he is.
SPEAKER_01Mm-hmm.
SPEAKER_06Good question.
SPEAKER_01That was a good question.
SPEAKER_03Thanks.
SPEAKER_06Shutting the fuck up now.
SPEAKER_03Shit. It's me. All right. And not laugh. Nothing to say right now. Okay. Um I have this one that I'm sorry. I'm taking me. I have a lot on here, guys, so excuse me. All right. What's a text that you regret sending immediately? Damn. I sent a lot of texts. I don't know that I regret sending them. Actually, I will say one time I sent that text. I think I was probably supposed to be texting you or you or whatever. One time off I told them about himself. I said I'm texting whoever telling them about it. I sent the text to Damn, should I be saying his name? I sent the text to my manager. Yeah, I sent the text to my manager.
SPEAKER_06Sick.
SPEAKER_03About my manager.
SPEAKER_06Fucking awesome.
SPEAKER_03Himself. Hilarious. And I was like, I went and looked for him. I was like, oh, that wasn't, that wasn't for you. Like, he just, you know how he is. He ain't say shit.
SPEAKER_06He was just hilarious. I love that you told him about himself. I do.
SPEAKER_03I usually do.
SPEAKER_06Most people don't. I'm a new lead the charge.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I, you know, I love to lead the rebellion. It's my dream.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I gotta make you uncomfortable now because you're fucking with me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I was like, yo, I did not just send him this text about it.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I might have been sick to my stomach if I did some shit like that.
SPEAKER_03I probably was like, I had an oh shit moment for about two seconds, and I'm like, bitch, it's done. What are you gonna do? What's he gonna do?
SPEAKER_01Oh well.
SPEAKER_03Right, report me to HR.
SPEAKER_06And didn't.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because he knows he's a fucking weirdo.
SPEAKER_03That would be a battle that I would win. It was a lot. So on to the next. That wasn't even that bad. I because I don't have any I said what I said. Super text like that I really regret sending. Yeah, if I said it, I meant it when I fucking said it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, same.
SPEAKER_03There's that. Look at all three of us getting picked. If love required full vulnerability, would you qualify?
SPEAKER_01I would not.
SPEAKER_03I'm with something I'm working on. Okay. Why?
SPEAKER_01Why am I working on it?
SPEAKER_03Break down.
SPEAKER_06Why are you afraid to be vulnerable?
SPEAKER_01Um I don't even know if it's that I'm afraid. I think at times I just don't know how. Like haven't had that experience to just know what I like. I don't know what that looks like.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Just being completely yourself. Being completely not like, okay. Well, I do, but be yourself with someone, but like just the full comfortability, yeah, full just the whole full package, but what the heck.
SPEAKER_06Do you feel like it won't be received if you I don't mind, you know, give it?
SPEAKER_03No, I don't think that. I mean, obviously it depends. Like I always say shit's situational. So I guess it depends on who it is you're dealing with.
SPEAKER_01But like I literally rem I I was telling you guys I had that conversation um with Travis the other day, and you know, was just thinking back on like things like how our relationship went and and stuff like that and how it ended and things.
SPEAKER_03And you know, he was just saying like once pretty much like once we got into a relationship, like some of the things that I used to do, I kind of stopped doing. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So um definitely noticed that I lack consistency in some areas, and that is something huge that I feel like going into my next relationship, I would for sure need to have in check so that I'm not pushing someone away.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, because of that.
SPEAKER_06It's fire. So I'm gonna take some of that too.
SPEAKER_03Well, that was hot seat. I feel like that was not bad.
SPEAKER_06It was like mild.
SPEAKER_03I'm disgusted. It was very therapeutic, though.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, it was good. Okay. This whole episode has been just I'm trying to make you guys uncomfortable.
SPEAKER_03I don't know about it. I know you are, but even still, like, that's a truth that I have to admit. Yeah. And I have to like really so so now it's just like me knowing that that's an issue. I I can't show up that way again.
SPEAKER_07Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I love that. There's no excuse because I know. Yeah, you know, so that is growth. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Learning growth, Donald.
SPEAKER_03I love that. Alright. Now we're gonna get into Would you rather? Beautiful tune.
SPEAKER_06I would rather.
SPEAKER_03If I do say so myself. Me too. Did you need me to sing it this time or are you good? Are you good with that? You're good. Okay, cool. Almost as miniature. You wanna sing it? No, I said I'm an artist. I'm trying to keep this thing going. You are.
SPEAKER_01You're wonderful.
SPEAKER_03Thank you. Can't help herself. Right. I kept it light. Let's go.
SPEAKER_01Are you ready?
unknownReady.
SPEAKER_01Would you rather be resting or escaping responsibility?
SPEAKER_03Resting.
SPEAKER_06Resting from it.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03Resting from it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Or escaping it. If I can go back to being a kid, I would not. Because being an adult's actually really fun.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Would I I want adequate rest from my responsibility though.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. My mom still tells me what to do.
SPEAKER_06She should. She tells me what to do all the time. Hey, listen.
SPEAKER_01Nobody tell me what to do.
SPEAKER_03I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I do want to escape responsibility. I called Risa tonight today and I said, I'm leaving tonight. I'm leaving town. I'm out of this motherfucker. Out of here.
SPEAKER_01Out of here. Never coming home.
SPEAKER_06I would rather.
SPEAKER_01I would rather be resting.
SPEAKER_06Absolutely. I'm okay with responsibility.
SPEAKER_01Me too. It is what it is. Like this is these are things that I this is the way I've structured my life. Yeah. Keeps me busy.
SPEAKER_06What else is there to do?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Good question.
SPEAKER_03There's other things to do.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure. I could go see a man about a horse.
SPEAKER_03Right. Shit. I need to meet a man about a horse. Where you at? Horse for sale. Damn. All right, moving on.
SPEAKER_01I miss that man and his horse.
SPEAKER_03Anyway. Would you rather stop talking about a man and his horse? Yes. I would not. Me either.
SPEAKER_01For breaks. Okay.
SPEAKER_03Admit you're afraid of intimacy or keep blaming the wrong people.
SPEAKER_06Fuck me, bro.
SPEAKER_03That's for you, because I already sat. You said bring it on. I love intimacy.
SPEAKER_06It's beautiful.
SPEAKER_03Because I never get it.
SPEAKER_06I just know. That's crazy. So boom. So boom. All the songs that I actually do know.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Are love songs.
SPEAKER_06You know, Back at One. All that. All that shit is fucking malarky, bro.
SPEAKER_03Who called you Jared LeVert? Jared LeVert.
SPEAKER_06My assistant manager called me Jared LeVert at work.
SPEAKER_03That's hilarious.
SPEAKER_06You said you look just like him. And you sing crazy. Yeah, not too much of my friend. He was fired. I ain't gonna lie. He had some tooth. Yo, he got all those dudes. Yo, that was hilarious. I'm serious. Like all these RB songs right now. Cater to you. I fucking love that song. It's bullshit.
SPEAKER_03It's not bullshit.
SPEAKER_06Whatever, bro. I guess when you're in there and you're actually living in intimacy and you want your man.
SPEAKER_03She's such a lover girl. Like you used to be. I don't love these songs.
SPEAKER_06Whatever. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, I am. She is.
SPEAKER_06Former lover girl. No. No.
SPEAKER_03It's there. It's there. It's just waiting for my why husband. Right.
SPEAKER_01And I am.
SPEAKER_03I'm super thoughtful. Super.
SPEAKER_01I am. Yes. And I'm like very loving and affectionate and things like that. I like to be taken care of.
SPEAKER_06It's not a bad thing.
SPEAKER_03She wants them to do all the work. That's not true. I was waiting for her to say something after that's not.
SPEAKER_05She didn't say anything.
SPEAKER_03Oh, that's it. Period. That's funny. That's not true.
SPEAKER_06Take care of me. Yeah. And they will.
SPEAKER_03And that's my problem today. Anybody to care of me.
SPEAKER_06They're all lusty. We're all there.
SPEAKER_04I'm lusty too. Yeah, but like that's it.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, you shouldn't lead with that though.
SPEAKER_03Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03God damn.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03It's disgusting. It's very unattractive.
SPEAKER_06Agreed.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. So I'm disgusting and unattractive. Got it. Because you're are you lusting after that? You're a woman.
SPEAKER_06You're a woman. But you don't also don't lead with that. You don't lead with that.
SPEAKER_03There is. I ain't gonna hold you. There is one man I'm lusting after. That's nice. Good for you. Who is it? Yo, this is trying to give me Tamma Brennard on the on the pod. Just know there is one man that I'm ready to risk it all for. Well, not risk it all, just my panties. Oh, heavens. Well, he knows who he is. I'm not doing any of that. I don't think he's listening. I don't think he listens to the pod, so it's cool.
SPEAKER_06Good for you.
SPEAKER_01Thank you.
SPEAKER_03Don't let me finish saying what I'm saying about that I'm listening after. If you ain't dropping names, we're good. Girlby. Oh, I'm just kidding. It's like nah. I ain't gonna he look good though. And he's white. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Of course.
SPEAKER_06Good question.
SPEAKER_01It's Black History Month, just so I've remote.
SPEAKER_06They were there. Segregation.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06It was there. Well ain't like that no more though. It ain't integration. They should have kept it. I'm trying to bring us together.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, for sure. We're not even gonna get it. And we'll get into that off camera.
SPEAKER_03Or on camera.
SPEAKER_06We could talk about it on camera for sure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we can.
SPEAKER_06They fucked it up when they segregated when they integrated. We should have kept it up. Anyway.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, let's go. Keep it at delusions. Don't get delusional about the time frame. We're actually on would you rather? You're delusional. Let's see.
SPEAKER_01Would you rather be desired or valued by one? Be desired by many or valued by one.
SPEAKER_06That's deep.
SPEAKER_01I'd very much so like to be valued by one.
SPEAKER_06I agree.
SPEAKER_03It's like um both.
SPEAKER_04Both of them.
SPEAKER_03This ain't that.
SPEAKER_06Um yeah, I think I think there are too many of us on the planet to like you will get forgotten.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06There's too many of us. That's it. So to have somebody who pays attention and who wants to be in your space and bear witness to your life is important.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Otherwise, you what was that movie, Coco? Just your friend that will be empty, you know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And I would rather not have that.
SPEAKER_03Everybody hasn't seen Coco. Go watch it.
SPEAKER_06You've seen that shit though. Yeah, for sure. Shout out to Coco.
SPEAKER_01Super cute.
SPEAKER_03Watch Mandalorian.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'd rather be valued though. I have been, I know what it feels like. I know what it looks like. I I very much so would like that. And come with a nice, um, strong thick beard. Oh. So I know I can trust you. I know you know how to eat.
SPEAKER_06Right.
SPEAKER_03Nom nom nom nom nom. I like that.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, I'm the food man.
SPEAKER_03Can't trust no nigga with no scarce.
SPEAKER_06Agreed.
SPEAKER_01Butt face.
SPEAKER_06To shave it off is crazy. Definitely can't be trusted.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. No, no, that's not true, because I know someone who has shaved it and I would piss me off because I like it full, but not my guy anymore, so I can't tell him what to do.
SPEAKER_05Got it.
SPEAKER_01But still it's down to business.
unknownI love that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Shout out to the road eaters out here, bro.
SPEAKER_01Oh, for real. For real.
SPEAKER_06The ones that do it like you guys deserve a medal.
SPEAKER_01For my 36 years of life. I've had two favorites.
unknownFuck yeah.
SPEAKER_06That's good.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Any other ones?
SPEAKER_03That's all you're getting from me today. Try, buddy. That's what you get. How does it feel when you're always trying to pull names out of my hat?
unknownNot even.
SPEAKER_06Those were good though.
SPEAKER_03Thank you.
SPEAKER_06Really good. Ladies, let's get it.
SPEAKER_03Shout out to the munches. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06They eat us.
SPEAKER_03You guys are cool. Yeah.
unknownProtect.
SPEAKER_03Like the world runs. Protect him. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06For sure. Let's get into some debate club, ladies.
SPEAKER_00Okay.
SPEAKER_02It's our new sound for debate club. Woo!
SPEAKER_06Ladies, I think they are lying to us.
SPEAKER_01Who?
SPEAKER_06Them. Be specific.
SPEAKER_03Who's them? Just give us a hint.
SPEAKER_06Our audience? Are you guys lying to us? The proverbial people who rule the world. I think they're lying to us. I have a question. It's kind of a nerdy one, but do you think the earth is round or flat? I need your reasons why.
SPEAKER_01Flat? I would say it's flat. I mean. I don't I just don't understand how it could be round. Maybe flat round?
SPEAKER_03Gravity. Could I say that?
SPEAKER_01Flat round.
SPEAKER_06Explain that.
SPEAKER_03Like this spherical. Like how the top of this is.
SPEAKER_06This is what I think it is. A plane.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And we're in a dome.
SPEAKER_06And they're brain covered.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Controlling the weather.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Niggas are creating clouds. Yeah. Fucking that.
SPEAKER_06If we've never been to space, how do we know that the earth is round and not hollow?
SPEAKER_01I heard space is the ocean.
SPEAKER_06They're lying to us. They're not telling us the whole truth.
SPEAKER_01People can't handle the truth.
SPEAKER_06I know. I think that um we have too many different types of ecosystems here. And there are too many like different anomalies. Did you know that there is a cave in Vietnam that has its own ecosystem?
SPEAKER_03No. No.
SPEAKER_06There are it's mist, but they are they look like clouds inside the cave.
SPEAKER_03Oh wow.
SPEAKER_06It's humongous.
SPEAKER_03I would love to see that. And it's not underwater in its clouds.
SPEAKER_06Outside no.
SPEAKER_03No. It's inside the cave.
SPEAKER_06Inside the cave. This gigantic cave in Vietnam. Maybe we can.
SPEAKER_01So there must be some type of moisture.
SPEAKER_06It has its own ecosystem. There's forests inside the cave.
SPEAKER_03Oh my goodness. Like it's whole. Like a whole nother world. Yes.
SPEAKER_06Yes. And scientists are finding things like We're artists. Right.
SPEAKER_03Next, we start a band. I'm sorry. I decided to get that out.
SPEAKER_06Making the band.
SPEAKER_03No, no, Diddy. No, we're gonna leave that right there.
SPEAKER_06Diddy is crazy work. Yeah, we're not doing that. Um but you know, there are things like that happening that are all over the planet that indicate that it might not be what they're telling us it is.
SPEAKER_03It never fucking is. Yeah, I don't sit here. I'm sorry, please.
SPEAKER_06Most people would think that you're crazy before thinking the earth is flat, though.
SPEAKER_03Because most people are idiots, and that's fine.
SPEAKER_01Everybody is damn entitled to their opinions and and you know, some people know actual factual things, and I am not that girl.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, what we do know or what we should know is that they're for sure not telling us anything that's solid. If I don't go to a place and see that shit myself with my own two eyes, I don't give a fuck what they don't know. I believe everything I see. I'll take it with a grain and I'll move around.
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I I know that there are things that, you know, gravity, oxygen, that science attempts to explain. And they do a good job of trying to get us to understand it.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06But as a whole, the entire thing is being misrepresented.
SPEAKER_03Manipulated. You know what they count on. People not like you trying to figure it out. They count on the people going with what they're saying and just going with it because it just is what it is. Like a lot of people, I just I can't stand the people that just buy into everything without asking or second guessing.
SPEAKER_06You and I have been outside in the wilderness in wilderness too much for me to not question what the hell's going on here.
SPEAKER_00Mm-hmm. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And do I think that I would love for there to be tons of planets, Star Wars style. That'd be fucking.
SPEAKER_03That would be dope. I'm fucking out of here. That would be so great.
SPEAKER_06I would love that. Right now.
SPEAKER_03What's that cave looking like? Well, uh, pretty soon it'll probably go to shit because if people are finding out about it and they know Know about it, uh, they'll find a way to ruin it. So good luck with that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yes, in Vietnam, Hang Dum Sam, I don't know how you pronounce it. It's insane. But yeah, this cave is humongous, and uh it shouldn't exist as far as I'm concerned. You can walk in there and never come out.
SPEAKER_03Right. Crazy.
SPEAKER_06You know? And I've never seen a cave that has an entire forest in there than ever.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06I'm sure more shit like that exists, they're just not telling us.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, we're just it's not discovered.
SPEAKER_06Right. Um, and this is from 2000 like early 2000s, late 2000s, late 1990s.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Right. So very recent in history where they're finding this thing.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Right?
SPEAKER_03So well, we need to find one. Don't tell anyone about it, move there and just do our off-grid it. Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_06For freaking sure. Ladies, that's the bait club. They're lying to us. Don't believe the hype.
SPEAKER_03Don't believe the hype.
SPEAKER_06Think for yourselves.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Always. Like, please just have your own mind. Stop believing everything that you see.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You shouldn't do that.
SPEAKER_06Big time.
SPEAKER_07But I never respect the niggas in the street.
SPEAKER_06I always got the problems right now. Respectfully. No, Jill. What is this nigga?
SPEAKER_03Anyway, let's talk some shit.
SPEAKER_06Let's talk your shit, nigga.
SPEAKER_03Let's talk some shit. What do you guys want to talk some shit about? What's bothering you? What what's what's ticking you these days? Shit.
SPEAKER_06I don't have a bad thing to talk my shit about. I have a good thing to talk my shit about.
SPEAKER_03Okay. Okay. I like that. I know. I'm always making it. I'm always looking for the mess, ain't I?
SPEAKER_06Yeah. I mean, my bad.
SPEAKER_03Good Tokyo shit.
SPEAKER_06Uh, I like this editing shit, bro.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. You're so good at it. You're amazing at it.
SPEAKER_06Thank you. I like doing it.
SPEAKER_03I'm so glad because I'll be sitting here like it's a lot. You're doing already, you're doing already, you need a break. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06But that shit, it fuels something inside me that, oh, I can make that happen. Or I can edit that shit. Right. And it's gonna come out good. Yeah, exactly.
SPEAKER_03Um we hope you guys like the editing. And so funny.
SPEAKER_06Yes, because we spend lots of time laughing over it. It's a like hours editing. It's a blast.
SPEAKER_01Um but it's fine. It is fun. And I'm like watching the episode with everybody else.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03I love that.
SPEAKER_06And that's good because we need that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. We need your real reactions. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06And sometimes you put stuff in there specifically for you to laugh at.
SPEAKER_03So no, for real.
SPEAKER_02We can't wait to resurface this.
SPEAKER_06You know. I I and I I know that I'm I have it's a skill set that I have, and that's where I am glad that I can at least stand in the ring with some of the best ones that are out there, right?
SPEAKER_03You're yeah, I think and that's not just because we're a team, like obviously if the editing sucked, I'd be like, we'd be like, hold on a second. We gotta find someone immediately. Yeah, for sure. And you we don't need any of everything you guys see, it is by this hand, right? This hand and this hand.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, all in-house.
SPEAKER_01I I have nothing to do with the editing.
SPEAKER_03You do a lot.
SPEAKER_01Um, I didn't know. Because we give ourselves enough credit. Yeah. I I'm I'm a background lady.
SPEAKER_03The website's beautiful, so thanks. Yeah, you're welcome.
SPEAKER_06Phenomenal. Go to wholesome minutes.com.
SPEAKER_03It's bringing us great things. So I love that. Yeah. It's a blasting. You know, so um, yeah, it's great. Okay. That was an awesome talk. Talking about shit, bro. And I'm very happy that you enjoy it.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Because when I tell you guys, I'll be over this dude's shoulder, like, yeah. I'm surprised. That right there.
unknownNo, no, no, no, move that.
SPEAKER_06Move that there, move that. My guy. I'm surprised she hasn't taken videos of me falling asleep editing because I we breathe the shit. Who says that I didn't?
SPEAKER_02Oh who says that I don't have it?
SPEAKER_06Nigga, send that shit. You got it, send it.
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_02Send it.
SPEAKER_06Don't you guys want to see it?
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_03I'ma send it. And I'll let you make that decision. But yeah. So, Risa, what are you talking your shit about? So, I don't like that a lot of times men take kindness for an invitation from women.
SPEAKER_01And then when it's not received well, we have to worry as women about men getting upset about it, getting offended.
SPEAKER_03Now we're weird, we're bitches, we're all types of crazy shit because I'm just you said hi to me, I'm saying hi back because I have manners.
SPEAKER_01And now it's an issue because I'm not interested in carrying on a conversation with you or giving you my phone number or whatever the case may be. So that um that irritates me a lot.
SPEAKER_03That can be irritating. And if you're a guy and you're doing that, you're just clearly you get no vagina and you don't have gang? Don't be a dick. Yeah, you're a dick. Yeah, no. Not only even if you don't even that could be a thing too, but we don't have gang.
SPEAKER_06Not that not that she doesn't want to give you, you don't want to give the number. It's not that how you go about it. How you go about it is one thing. Also, I feel like the kind of man who introduced introduced themselves to women, and then immediately after she doesn't give you that response that you're looking for, call her a bitch or you're not pretty anyway, or any of the shit that they want to say. You are you got some shit going on in and that you gotta go deal with, right?
SPEAKER_01Right, yeah.
SPEAKER_06Because you're not looking at her one as a person. This is about the conquest for you, and at the end of the day, though there's now there's really not anything for you to talk about. So yeah. I hate that for you. I hate that for all women because damn, you missing out on one, just a very cordial conversation, one you're missing out on just a salutation. It's nice to say hello, we forgot to do that nowadays, right?
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_06And just because we go there doesn't mean it needs to go farther than that.
SPEAKER_01Right. Exactly.
SPEAKER_06Just because you accept the like or the follow on Instagram or t or Facebook doesn't mean that we have to be best friends.
SPEAKER_03And you'll know when someone wants to for sure take it further. Like if I'm being cold or dry or whatever, might not want to go there with you. Take the hint, Bucko.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, that's annoying. Stop being dicks, guys. It's cool, and people can't it's the can't handle rejection thing, too. But get that shit together. Well, my talk your shit today would be um single mom bashing. Hmm. Interesting. Like the sh some of the things that I even just see online. Yeah. It's insane. Like, you know, you know, men saying, oh, don't date a woman with kids, or she got more than one. Like, you know, or men who don't have kids, you know, don't date women with kids. Like, you don't know people's circumstances, you don't know a person. You can't just look at a person and be like, oh, they got kids, leave that train or it's not always that situation. And there's some men that can't have kids.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Or even on a woman, on a woman's side, like dating men that that have kids, and maybe a woman can't have kids. That's why they're, you know, in that situation. It's just like people trying to coexist elsewhere, yeah. I also know in my big old mind that people talk and are very uneducated as well. So it's just annoying, and uh, yeah, I'm a little biased and get a little triggered because I'm a single mom. And it's like it does make me think about those things. And so when we talked about like dating younger, shit like that makes me think about that. But I'm courteous enough to like tell you, like, all right, you know, you I got a lot going on. Maybe you should have you know find somebody that doesn't have as much going on, but stop bashing single moms. Some of us are freaking awesome, yeah.
SPEAKER_01For sure.
SPEAKER_03I know we are, we're freaking totally awesome. Yeah, you see, I don't look at myself as a single mom, and that's only because, yeah, my kids' dads are in their lives, so it's just like I'm a single woman. Me too. Yeah, um, not a single mom. Their dads are for sure fully present.
SPEAKER_01Um, take care of pretty much anything I need if I need it, if they need it. And um, I don't I know a lot of people bash and and shit like that, and that's some shit you gotta deal with. You know what I mean? Like if you and and it everything doesn't need to be said either.
SPEAKER_03If that's like what you don't want to do, then don't do it. Yeah, unless like a single mom is approaching you and you're like, listen, I'm not really interested in dating women with kids or whatever. If people could be that way, what a wonderful place the world would be. Yeah, but you know, people aren't like that. So that was my talking of shit. I I've thought about that a lot for a long time. Just in what, like I said, when I see shit, it's a little triggering because I know some great single mothers and you know, just single women, whatever you want to call it. I'm a single mother and a single woman. I say a single mother, my oldest daughter's father is in her life, not as much as I would love him to be, but I am grateful for what he does. Um, but I'm I'm a single mom, bro. Yeah, like let's be real.
SPEAKER_01I do yeah, everything everything. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Outside of what my you guys helped me. Right. Um, stop bashing single moms. I mean, we're pretty great. We got a lot going on. We deserve love too, and we're open to love and loving.
SPEAKER_01And you know, my shit situation is just different. Yeah. Al takes the twins every week, every other week, I mean, and then like Key's dad'll pick her. I'll drop her off at school.
SPEAKER_03He picks her up every day. Yeah. So it's just it's like Yeah. I had another one I wanted to go with, but I think I'll save that for next week. Yeah. It's kind of kind of coincides, but yeah, we'll talk about that next week. I'll save it.
SPEAKER_06Sweetness.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, but that was my talk to shit. You know, it'd be fun like just making a whole I like that though, that you brought that up. Because I feel like a lot of people feel that way. Yeah. Because you see it so much. Like, even women with like men too. Yeah. It's like, oh, he has kids, I'm not. You know what I'm saying? Right. And there are some amazing men with kids and and amazing dads, and but whatever, you know, you you miss out.
SPEAKER_06If um Yeah, I think you uh in relationships, especially romantic ones, you gotta understand that you're dealing with the person.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Not the other responsibilities. They could be somebody who works at Target as well. You're gonna say they're not worthy of being dated because they're of their profession.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_06No. It's that who they are is what you're getting to know.
SPEAKER_00Yes.
SPEAKER_06That might come with children. But if you're there for them, you're learning that that's just a small portion of who they are as an individual.
SPEAKER_03Right, yeah. So I love kids. A person's circumstances aren't who they are. Right. If you're interested, be interested, get to know the person. For sure. Judging from the outside, then have fun with that. Sounds like a long week.
SPEAKER_06And she got kids, that means she's laying it set.
SPEAKER_02Like, that does not mean it.
SPEAKER_06Yes, the fuck it does.
SPEAKER_03It does not mean that. It doesn't mean that. Okay.
SPEAKER_06She's ready for that. She's gonna call you. Hey, I need this. I'm lying.
SPEAKER_03Frig, are you looking at me so hard? Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. I did.
SPEAKER_06I just know that that, I mean, they're busy. You guys are busy single mothers.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_06Schedule.
SPEAKER_03Scheduling the appointments. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Immediately.
SPEAKER_03Drop that off. Somebody drop some off to me.
SPEAKER_06Right, and you have to drop it off because you know the kids gotta be, yeah, it's a whole situation. And so she's gonna come prepared to lay it down on you, bro.
SPEAKER_03So that's hilarious.
SPEAKER_06Don't ever disrespect the single moments like that.
SPEAKER_02Damn.
SPEAKER_03I would love to do like a whole episode of just like even for each segment of like parenting things.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_03Parenting delusions. Yeah. Parenting debates. Main topics. Let's run it. Let's run it. Sounds like a good app. It does. We'll plan for that pretty well. Alright. Wow. Talk your shit. Those are some good shit talking. Yeah. I like shit shitting and shitting talking.
SPEAKER_06Shitting is crazy.
SPEAKER_03I mean, everybody should. All right, but we don't need to. Shitis. All right, shit talking. Now let's tone it down. Oh god, let me get my laugh out first. Okay, I'm done. Quiet.
SPEAKER_01Take a deep breath.
SPEAKER_03You're not even deep breathing. She's staring at you the whole time. Yeah, you're staring at me. So you Yeah, I'm over here laughing. I'm breathing hard. I'm looking at him. Looking.
SPEAKER_06Sorry, I was just trying to release tension.
SPEAKER_01I respect that.
SPEAKER_06I actually really like this. This is probably my second favorite segment. Is it really? It is.
SPEAKER_03I love that. You guys love my segments. Yes. I actually hate them, but I don't want her to be upset.
SPEAKER_02I'm just kidding. I love them. I love all of them.
SPEAKER_03Damn, I'll be doing it every time, huh? Get the whole little out of them. That's crazy. No, I love your segments. You know I love them. Shit love our whole children.
SPEAKER_06Change it.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_06I've never forgotten that since you said it, so thank you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, say it louder one more time.
SPEAKER_06A negative nine negative mind will never give a positive life.
SPEAKER_03That's right. I have the most positive mind here, so you guys can shove it.
SPEAKER_01Alright, let's see.
SPEAKER_03Our health quote. The right connection feels calm, not confusing.
SPEAKER_06I receive that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That's nice.
SPEAKER_06I'm experiencing that right now.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. What are you, brother Ben Log?
SPEAKER_06It's not a confusing situation. There's clarity.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and that is beautiful.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Like you can breathe.
SPEAKER_06Actually.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's lovely.
SPEAKER_01Feels good. Maybe I need to find one because I cannot breathe.
SPEAKER_03Oh my gosh, bitch. You're saying that for a whole nother reason. Yeah, you are.
SPEAKER_01Alright, you ready for the next one? Stability creates confidence. Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Absolutely.
SPEAKER_03When my bills and shit are fate are paid. Yeah. I feel pretty amazing. I bet. I will I drive around with one hand on the stair and we'll blast my music. I feel great. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like I'm paying it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. This is adulting. As long as I got a couple dollars left after my shit's paid. Yeah, we have a pretty Starbucks. Got him. I need that. Mandatory. I need at least $300 a week for stars. Crazy. I'm just playing out. Alright, next. Last one. Self-respect changes your standards quietly.
SPEAKER_06Absolutely.
unknownFuck yeah.
SPEAKER_01Hell yeah.
SPEAKER_06Absolutely. When I was 27, 28 years old, I I'd been married. About four years ago. Yeah, I was married for like nine years, right, guys. So when I was 27, 28 years old, I started something started to switch in terms of like how I understood my masculinity. And I realized that if you don't respect what you find to be boundaries for yourself, no one else is going to.
SPEAKER_07Of course not.
SPEAKER_06Right? And as soon as I started doing that is when, well you never felt like that before.
SPEAKER_01Yep. Now you act indifferent.
SPEAKER_06Yeah, you acting different now. What I realized is I didn't have any respect for myself or what I have as expectations.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Before, and that's probably because I was happy go lucky in love, and that's understandable. But you know, now we are more shrewd and prudent about those types of things. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, because I my standards are very not high, but I know what it is that I would like for myself.
SPEAKER_03That's great.
SPEAKER_06I'm not gonna compromise on that.
SPEAKER_03Good. That's wonderful. And you really and then once you do stand on those things, you see how things fall apart.
SPEAKER_06Correct. And I know what what what attracts me is what I want.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_06So absolutely, I receive that as well. I love this fucking segment, man.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. That's so great.
SPEAKER_06Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, that is all I have for health, wealth, and positivity. Positivity warriors! Yeah.
SPEAKER_06Very nice indeed. I like this little positivity infusion I get weekly.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, me too. I love it.
SPEAKER_06Need that shit, bro.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I was telling somebody this is like very therapeutic. She said that as well. Like it really, really is. Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It's like eye-opening, like, to myself and my flaws and the things that I yeah have done wrong in the past that really I I wasn't super conscious of. So it it it is definitely helpful for me in my growth.
SPEAKER_06For sure. And I hope that you guys can like resonate with what we're going through in our own lives because we're just regular cats, just like you guys.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Yeah. And like a lot of the things that we talk about, like we just hope you guys, you know, can relate to that even if we're not going through it. Like we really try to find things to talk about that are super relatable and you know, make us reflect on our own things and you know, account for the things we need to account for and fix what we need to fix uh outside and within ourselves.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Um, help you maybe, you know, love a little better, be a little kinder, uh, be a little fiercer where you need to.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Just man, do all those things. Take care of yourself, take care of your mental health.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Big deal.
SPEAKER_03Don't have nobody playing in your face. Take care of your physical health, listen to your body, like we always say.
SPEAKER_06For sure.
SPEAKER_03And just, you know, do all the things.
SPEAKER_06And if you guys have like your own topics that you are things that you guys are going through, you guys can call us.
SPEAKER_03Call us, you call us if there's anything you want to want to talk about. Yeah. Instagram, Facebook, TikTok. You can send us a message and send topics that you want to hear us talk about on here. Yeah, you guys can even text the number. If you're not a big talker, you want to text, you can text that number, 802-319-9133. Yeah. Anytime you guys want, day or night. Or leave us a voice message if you want to be heard on here. Yeah, we'll for sure play your message. Mm-hmm. And it doesn't have to be serious. It's sure.
SPEAKER_06Is as unserious as it gets, so please.
SPEAKER_02I refuse to live my life in a serious manner.
SPEAKER_03Agreed. Yeah. Not a very serious person. But yeah, you guys hit us up.
SPEAKER_06That's uh what a fucking episode.
SPEAKER_03Her usual. Yeah. We always do. Yeah, I know. Every time. Do I say that at the end of every episode? Shit, I gotta check that. But um, yeah, guys, we got a lot of great things coming. We can't wait to discuss them with you. So keep watching.
SPEAKER_06Follow. Like, share, subscribe.
SPEAKER_03Tell a friend. Tell a friend. Show a friend. Listen with a friend. Yeah. Grab some popcorn, some wine, have a good time. We know, you know, we always do because I always say it. Call us. Bullshit. Yeah, please. Make fun of us. We don't care. We just want to talk to you too. I'm tired of talking to these bozos every time. Lies. I'm just kidding. Vicious lies. That is. They know it's a lie. I can say what I want. They know how I really feel crying. Um, yeah. So you guys hit up the number 802-319-9133. Stay wholesome. But don't forget to be a menace. We're out of here.