The Big Question
"The Big Question" is a deeply personal podcast by Jessica Kingsley about beauty, ambition, and self-acceptance. Convinced her “big nose” is holding her back from her “big break,” Jessica explores society’s obsession with perfection while interviewing casting directors, beauty and fashion experts, actors and psychologists. The question remains: will changing her nose change her life? That is the BIG Question?
You can discover more about Jessica Kingsley @mymagicalquests
or see what's coming up on the podcast @thebigqpod
The Big Question
Episode 6: Why Do We Act Like This? – with Suzy Bloom
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Episode 6: Why Do We Act Like This? – with Suzy Bloom
This week, West End actress Suzy Bloom joins Jessica at home for an honest, on the couch conversation about life in the industry. From scouring the pages of The Stage to pounding the pavements for open castings and reminisce about the good old days of posting black-and-white 10x8 headshots, they look back on three decades of auditioning and how much (and how little) has changed.
Suzy opens up about being one of the West End’s most trusted understudies, yet still fighting to be recognised as an actress in her own right. Together, they unpack the boxes society puts performers in and why the industry still struggles to see beyond them.
And of course… Suzy faces The Big Question.
For more on the pod head to @thebigqpod
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Follow Jessica Kingsley actress, content creator & influencer @mymagicalquests for her own personal quests and life in London.
On our TVs, on our screens, and the pressure we put on ourselves in the world, especially a Western world. Why do we both start how diversified we are when it comes to the when actually we go more further than we ever were? And that we can't create the pressure and ever afford a friend and perfect Pandora. I believe that my big note is holding me back from my big dream of becoming a TV and screen fan. I want to find out if talking to other people about their looks and about the industry will actually help me to decide whether or not I should have a note job. Hello and welcome to The Big Question. I'm Jessica Kingsley and I have written and produced this podcast that you are listening to or watching. And if you're watching, you can tell that I am somewhere different this time. I'm on my couch because I'm really excited. Because today I have the wonderful actress Susie Bloom joining me on the couch. We were actually talking earlier, but it was like on the chaise long. And um, before I speak to her, I had a few reasons to invite her onto the podcast. But one of them was I saw her in a show in Wimbledon, and it was amazing. She was playing Hedy Lamarr, and I was really captivated by her performance and her personality, and I just felt that I would like to talk to her, and she said yes. So I'm so excited, and yes, so we're going to be heading over to have Susie Bloom join us on the couch. Hello, hello, thank you so much for coming. Thank you for inviting me. I'm very excited to have you here, and I yeah, on On the Chaise Long, which is a song, isn't it? Very excited to be here. Is it a song? It is by Wetleg, the band. On the Chaise Long, on the Chaise Long, but it's not, it's my catch.
SPEAKER_02No, I'm in a bit rubbish with that.
SPEAKER_00If it's a lovely, beautiful couch, colour. I was just saying that this couch has been sat on by Colin first, not in my home, just to say, it was in a movie, and then they were gonna throw it out, and my husband rescued it, and so we can pretend we're sitting where Colin is. So before we start, um, thank you, as I said, for coming in, but um, can you tell our listeners about you? Uh, I don't know, it's up to you where you want to start. You can start as far back as childhood. In fact, you said earlier that you always wanted to go into acting and performing.
SPEAKER_01Yes, so well, that's a really long time ago. Um, so I've been in the business now for 34 years. Wow. And nobody knows who I am. Oh, we'll get on to that. It doesn't matter. Um, I love it.
SPEAKER_00They do know who you are. I'm just gonna stop you there. They really do. There's a couple of people I've spoken to, and they really know who you are and have amazing things to say about you.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's so lovely! Yeah, oh thank you. Um, so some people know who I am, and um oh golly up. Um yeah, so yeah, so quite a long time I've and I've done, I just love acting. Started off as a dancer, and I was thinking today on the train as I came in, what did I love about dancing? I went to my first violet lesson when I was six years old, and what I loved about it was being able to express myself and also have lovely arms and things like that, but expressing myself, and so the acting is the same, expressing yourself.
SPEAKER_00Um for those that can't see, I should actually describe you as somebody who's very incredibly graceful. I did notice when you walked in and on stage, but on stage it's different. You kind of you don't know if they're performing graceful, but you have a real elegance about you, so it's interesting you say you started with ballet. It must be the training, I think it must be the gray. Because you hold yourself really well.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's funny actually, when I was like, No, I'm gonna be an actress, I'm not gonna do dancing anymore. I started to really hunch so that people wouldn't assume I was a dancer because I didn't want to be put in that pigeonhole of I I mean some people pigeonhole you, others with broader minds think, well, you can do hopefully you can do it all, you know, and they give you a chance.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I remember one of my early, early castings was I was the ballet teacher in fame, and I mean this is at uni, so it's not anything exciting really, but they cast me because I had a long neck. Yes! Yes, you do it's strange, isn't it?
SPEAKER_01Long neck, you do look like you're a dancer.
SPEAKER_00Well, you do actually.
SPEAKER_01Thanks, I'll take the part. Have you had any dance training? Because you look like you're a dancer. I'm like you as a child, but I gave up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Because apparently my left foot didn't turn out right in Arabesque, so I was never gonna make it as a dancer.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's mad, isn't it? It's crushed.
SPEAKER_00No, it's fine. I don't think I would have been cut out for it.
SPEAKER_01Well, it's um it's not easy, I think. I mean, I didn't carry on to be a ballerina. It's it's tough, but then in the acting world it's tough as well because you might not get a job because you're not tall enough, you're not small enough, you know what it's like. Um so you did you grow up in London, South London? No, so I'm from Southampton originally. Southampton. Yes, and um I moved up to London for I think it was like my third job. You're funny now saying this, but I got a cat, the musical, and I was still living at home with my parents in Southampton. Well, near Southampton in a little village called Hedgend, which isn't so little anymore, it's sort of sprawled out a bit and it's got a massive used to be famous for its strawberry fields actually. So lovely. Yeah, so I grew up in in Hedgend and then moved up to London when I was 19 to be in Cats the Musical at the New London Theatre.
SPEAKER_00That sounds amazing. That was an era, right? That was big, that was big. I remember that. My sisters were obsessed with that musical.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, well, you know, it's quite bad really. I hadn't seen it until I did my final recall, and I thought, oh I need to see it. So you didn't know what it was about. Well, I knew I'd got the tape, yeah, I'd got the cassette tape, and I'd listened to all of that because of course all the songs were on there, and I had to sing some of the songs for my recall. But what had happened was I was doing um my first, and it what at that time was my only pantomime at Bradford Alhambra with some lovely girls who had we'd gone to the same college. There were four of us, and they knew all about cats and everything, and there was an audition being held in Leeds, which was quite close, for the tour. They said, Let's all go, let's all go, come on, and I thought, well, I don't really know, I don't really know. I've ever heard about it, of course I'm trained, but I'd never seen it. I'd seen the things that had come to the Mayflower Theatre in Southampton, but and I'd seen Barnum in the West End, I think.
SPEAKER_00So um getting this uh feeling of small town girl suddenly thrown into the city, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So we auditioned together for for cats in Leeds, uh for Cats for Tour. I didn't get it, and um, one of the girls got it, and then I was back in Southampton and my friend who lived in London, who I'd done the panto with, said they're auditioning it at the back of the stage, the newspaper, because there wasn't the internet or anything, back of the stage, newspaper, they're auditioning for the London cast. But it says, but it says previous applicants need not apply. So we thought we we're not allowed to go. And then I said, let's go, let's just go. Come on, if they recognize us, we'll be chucked out. So we queued around the block for the open audition, and it's held at the new London Theatre, so that was amazing going in there, you know. That whole experience, so many girls there, all up for who knows what part, but it was an open audition in the stage. We went, my friend and I got mad down.
SPEAKER_00Um tell the explain to the listeners what the stage is because I don't know, people might not know what it is. So the stage and I think I missed out on the stage. So I'm gonna be 45, but I remember my sister, who's 55, she was always obsessing over the stage.
SPEAKER_01I think it might have come out on a Thursday. I'm not sure, but as soon as it came out, you went to the news agents and you bought it. It was called The Stage and Television Today, and you know, it had lots of things. Equity article, oh equity, the actors union, it had things from them. But I didn't really look at those. All we did was we'll go to the back for the job section and see what was being cast, what auditions were being held.
SPEAKER_00That sounds really, I don't know, like tactile and visceral of like I want to get a job, so I'll buy the paper and yeah, you got up early, went and bought the paper with cash.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know how much it was, but you used change, you know, that shiny stuff to buy it. You circled it in red, you phoned your friend on the landline to say, shall we go? I'll see you there, you know. So good to decide what time you're gonna meet, and then meet them at that time. And you couldn't be late, you couldn't be late because you didn't have a mobile to say, I'm just gonna be no meet them at that time. Oh, it was exciting, nerve-wracking because there were hundreds, and also probably nerve-wracking for the people who were auditioning, they were sitting behind the desk all day, and you couldn't turn people away okay to see them. And thankfully, a friend, my friend and I got right down to the last few, and then I went recall. Um, and she is the most my friend who didn't get it at that point. She's the most fantastic dancer you have ever seen, and she's still dancing now, and she is incredible. I feel bad, she didn't get the show. I did my final recall and then went to see the show and thought, oh yeah, this is great. I mean, I knew it was great, it was in the West End, it was in its 12th year when I got it of running, and so it was the original version of the I think nearly the original. Um so at 19, gosh, it was amazing, it felt amazing walking to the theatre coming up the steps, and you know, I maybe this may sound a bit corny, but whenever I'm walking into a job, if it's a television studio, a recording studio, a West End theatre, studio theatre, I'm still so excited to be there. I go in and I think I'm in the theatre, I'm walking up the steps backstage.
SPEAKER_00That's like a trick on actors, like life and feeling and soul, isn't it? Yeah, when it comes when you start to tingle that moment when you want me, I've got a job, I'm gonna be doing what I love.
SPEAKER_01So apologies, but I'm still like a little puppy. I'm still so excited to be there.
SPEAKER_00But that's not an apology, that's what it's about. Otherwise, you know, people say, Why do you do this job?
SPEAKER_01But I think maybe my enthusiasm, I hope I keep it, you know, down a bit. But I think to some other actors, well, I think it might be quite annoying.
SPEAKER_00So I have to be, it just has to come out of my eyes rather than you're that person at an audition who's like, Oh, this is exciting to be here, and they're like, I'm looking at my lines, leave me alone.
SPEAKER_01No, no, I'm not, I'm very focused. I'm very quiet. Okay. No, I'm very quiet. I might not seem quiet now, but no, so I was always always the shy one at school. She's very shy, she's very quiet. But they didn't, they didn't expect me to be able to do anything on stage. So I do remember, I have a lovely teacher, Mrs. Mills.
SPEAKER_00You always remember the nice teachers, and the horrible ones. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01A nice uh Shamblehurst. So Shamblehurst Junior School. Shamblehurst, what a lovely name. Um and she was in charge of the call of speaking, and she happened to be my teacher. And I said, I'd like to be in the call of speaking. She said, Oh no, Suzanne, you're too quiet. I thought, but I wouldn't be quiet. I wouldn't be quiet on stage. I would project on stage. I must have been, I think, nine. You know, so people think that if you're quiet in everyday life, you can't then go and be on stage and sometimes actually the opposite.
SPEAKER_00I find that the best performers are the ones who are not trying to perform all the time in real life, and they're the ones watching and taking in other people's characters and studying them, and the quietest ones in the rehearsal room, and then suddenly they're on stage and you're like, wow.
SPEAKER_01They that's when they do it. They're not they're not chatting about their cat and this and that, and they're focused, yeah. So I'm uh I'm focused, I'm very serious, I'm very serious about it. I'm very serious about it.
SPEAKER_00I'm passionate, passionate about it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_00So you've done West End, a lot of West End, yes, and TV film and then television, yes.
SPEAKER_01So I had to really say to my agent I've got I've got to be available for tele, otherwise I won't see you. So I had to say I don't want to go up for that musical, I'm not going up for that musical and holding out for television, for plays, for straight theatre. Um and it took a few go. So I've got a few bits of telly, but you've got to be available to do it. If you're on a West End show and you've got a 12-month contract, but also it probably won't be available.
SPEAKER_00Adding to this, you have two kids. So that how did you do that? Because that's what we're doing.
SPEAKER_01So this was so this this changeover happened before the children came along. So um I'd done quite a few musicals, and actually, I got my first I I wrote off with my with my 10x8, it's so expensive. 10 by 8 C V in a plastic little thingy and a hardback envelope with a letter, a personalised letter to the artistic.
SPEAKER_00Um listeners who don't know what you have to do to get a job in acting. Well, you used to be that you pay for these expensive A4 photos, which were beautiful. I actually really miss them, yeah, and they were black and white, which actually is a bit odd because I how I don't know how they'd call people like if they were looking for a redhead or I still think colour's new.
SPEAKER_01Oh, colour, you want the colour. I still think colour is new, yeah. For those photographs, I mean family photographs and everything, they were all colour and everything, but for acting, for acting, it was black and white. A4, it was big, and you're like, Yeah, 10 by 8, yeah, and it was expensive. So, you know, once you'd bought those, you have to think like who am I gonna write to? And it was a whole thing, you'd go to Denbury Repros or somewhere like that and get them to reproduce your photo that you had done. You'd pay for however many, and then you'd just have you know, you've you'd have written a menu out who you were gonna write to the menu, you weren't gonna use it, a list of contacts, so it was all planned. A you know, I write the letter. Oh, I made a mistake there, I got start again. Handwritten letter, handwritten letter. You know, you wanted them to notice you've been professional, and I didn't I couldn't cross something out or tip x anything out. I remember used to use cream paper, basled and bond, cream paper, lovely pen. Kiss the envelope before I put it in the post box. I love it. But I wrote to um artistic directors of um theatres around the country, uh, directors, casting directors for plays, saying, Would you see me for your play? Oh, that's right, PCR as well. Used to send off a PCR that come in the post, and that would tell you the casting breakdowns. I mean, they must have got hundreds of submission submissions. What chance did you have? But you felt you're doing I felt I was doing something myself. I needed to be doing something. I don't know if anybody looked at them, but I'd send them off, I'd send them off, and then eventually I got a straight play, well, a play through somebody coming to see me in a musical. Okay, this is a fantastic story. I'd been in Chicago, the musical, and then I was still on the roll of going, no more musicals because I need to concentrate on like film and television and plays. Um, and then somebody who'd been in the musical with said actually it was my agent who said, Susie, would would you be seen for Vanity Fair at the Theatre Museum? There's no money, but they'd like to see you. And I'm like, Oh, there's no money and it's a musical, and I want to be seen for plays and tell you. And then somebody who I'd been in Chicago with, he knew the writer, Julian Slade, uh the composer Julian Slade and uh Robin Miller, who uh did the lyrics and the script for Vanity Fair musical that had been done in the 1960s, and they were redoing it. They were doing it again, I think it was a forgotten musical, Stuart Nichols directing, wonderful he was, and so because a friend had said, Would you come and audition for the lead in it? How could I say no? So I auditioned a sang really inappropriate song, saying Johnny One Note. I don't know the musical I'm gonna have to look at it. High belting sound, it was comedy, it had everything in it, and they wanted me.
SPEAKER_00So over you said 30 years, 34 years, 34 years, so that so over three decades, um, you must have seen a huge change in the industry. So, I mean, we've already spoken about it. The the literally the application stage of doing everything physically, sending paper copies in, photos, um, nothing electronically, queuing round the corner for an audition.
SPEAKER_01You see, that's before I had an agent. That was before I had an agent, and then when I had an agent, they sent off the 10x. Except when I was trying to cross over to be seen for television and plays and film, then I thought I need to put the work in as well. So my agent was doing it and I was doing it as well.
SPEAKER_00But it's it I feel like it was more expensive to be an actress like two decades ago, three decades ago, because also we had to pay uh uh equity fees, the union fees. You couldn't even be seen without an equity you had to be a member of equity, that's right. Yeah, you whereas now it's different, you don't.
SPEAKER_01I think it's different, but you know, I work so it I feel I worked so hard to get my equity card in the first place, and then and I thought I'd done the amount of weeks you're supposed to do to get your equity card.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, because you had to prove that you were a serious actor, you had to show how many professional gigs you'd had. I'm not quite sure. Well, I know this because my sister and I had an argument about this the other day. So she was like, I assure you, I had to work to get that card. Whereas I just paid for it. Like I said, I'd been in this, this, and this. They were like, Here you go, here's the bill.
SPEAKER_01So I'd take A job actually before I left college, I was offered a job at Blackpool Pleasure Beach in some of their shows there, and that was a long contract, and I that I was building up my weeks of work so I could get my equity card. And then I did a trade show and I did a panther and I did a trade show and auditioned for cats. Now at my now, you see, at my final recall, I'd sung the songs and everything, and then Dinx, who worked for Cameron Macintosh, said I said Cameron Macintosh. Cameron Macintosh said, Susie, there's only one thing, only one problem. You haven't got your equity card yet. And I said, Don't worry, I've only got two more weeks left of work to do. She said, Oh, that's all right then.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, so listeners would not understand this. It was like it was quite more of a closed shop.
SPEAKER_01Oh, definitely, definitely. So then I started rehearsals for cats, and then once we'd opened, so four weeks later, once we'd opened the equity deputy on cats, so each show has an equity deputy I can't speak, equity deputy. An equity debt. Equity depth. I'll just say that. What did they do then? So they deal with any problems that arise in the company equity. So they're the in-between person for equity and the job. Yeah. And it's all lovely and everything. But it I was in the green room and I don't know if I was in my cat's makeup or not. I was in the green room before a show and he came to me and said, Susie, equity refused you your equity card. No, oh and but I've already got the job. Thank goodness. I was naive enough to know to think I'd done so many amounts of weeks of work, and I had actually done that amount of weeks of work. But I looking back now, maybe I should have phoned Equity to say, I'm going to be starting this new job. Can you start counting my weeks from this week? I I'll never know. Anyway, so the Equity Depp said to Equity, for goodness sake, she's in she's in cats in the West End. Well, you just give her our card. So I didn't know if I was gonna get my card or not. And then they came back and said, Well, yes, you can, but you'll have to change your name because there's already a Suzanne Baker, that is my real name.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I love this.
SPEAKER_01I get her secrets out, yeah. And um, of course, I was devastated because as Suzanne Baker, I was known for my whole life, and at or maybe the contract hadn't started. So why because of the program? So why blue? I like I was devastated because you know, the people who'd been not very nice to me at school or push me in the room.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, you wanted to say this is me.
SPEAKER_01This is me with my name in lights, you know, and maybe they go she's too shine, she's quiet, she can't. I wanted to prove that it was me, and I thought, well, what am I gonna do? And we didn't have the internet, we couldn't put on Facebook, I've now changed my name because it wasn't there, we just had it landline, or write a letter for somebody in person.
SPEAKER_00Local hedge end newspaper.
SPEAKER_01That's what I did. I put it in the paper, I think. I think I remember doing that. So Equity said, you have to give us three on the form, on the paper form, three choices. So I was devastated that I'd have to change my name. I couldn't add a middle name, I couldn't add a middle initial. So I had to change either my Christian name or my surname. So I looked in the telephone directory, I looked in the telephone book and I thought, well, I can't have my real name, I'll have something that sounds catchy, and so uh bloom, because you're blooming gorgeous.
SPEAKER_00Thank you, my darling.
SPEAKER_01And I gave three choices, and I remember the choices. So, yes, so it was it. I became yeah, so equity cho out of the three I gave them, they chose Susie Bloom. Wow, and that's the show.
SPEAKER_00Well, there we are, amazing. Well, we're gonna crack on because uh I think we have half an hour left and a lot of questions. So we've heard it, yeah. I don't know, but it's good, it's good, it's because it's not just about you, we're hearing about the industry and how it's changed, which is what this is about. So, yes, so we've seen the evolution of uh casting, of applying for castings. I mean, obviously, for recent actors, they know how COVID changed everything, and yeah, gone were the days of going into a room, standing in front of casting directors, directors, choreographers, whoever they were, and performing. Yeah, you have to do tapes now. Yes. Pros and cons. Do you like doing self tapes?
SPEAKER_01Well, the pros are you can check what they're gonna see, you can send in what you think is the best that you've done. Also, it means if you you're a busy parent, you can do it at midnight when everybody's asleep, yeah. But it also means that you don't have to take your baby in with you or travel into sit on it. Traveling to town.
SPEAKER_00A lot of actors are broke because they're trying to do juggle jobs, so you know, travel is expensive. I think you know, to be able to audition at home and then if you get a recall, get in the door is amazing.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I mean also it means that you don't have to be based in London. Yep, I suppose, you know, um or based anywhere because like commercials are always filmed overseas, so and also you don't have to if you're on holiday and you can't make it back for that really important audition, or if you're for example, doing a play in Harrogut, you can't make it back to meet Stephen Freas, you could they'll take it on a on a film it's it's the norm now, isn't it? So they're like more pros, actually. Yes, except there's that the cons are because I think it's probably because they don't have to hire a casting suite, they don't have to employ the people to film it, they don't have that time constraint for we're seeing we're giving them five minutes each and we can only see 20 actors, so I think they see many more people, which could be good, but then there's more competition, more competition, and will they get through all the tapes? But there's a good chance you can get in the door, but I feel that like in you know, time is money. If if they see somebody on a tape before they've seen that the rest of the 50, and they think, yeah, she's great.
SPEAKER_00Let's do the seeing the rest.
SPEAKER_01Why do we need to waste our time? We've got it, and then I think I don't know, I can't say. Oh dear Shadow, oh no.
SPEAKER_00Oh my I'm just gonna stop filming. My dog has been sick. Hello, we're back. Um, my dog Shadow decided to just throw up. I think um she didn't have enough attention from you, Susie. That's it, it's my fault. She's she's a complete diva. She's just like, look at me, look at me, fine. Now look at me. So we're looking at how the industry's changed, pros and cons of self-tapes. Um so one of the questions I want to ask you. So I saw you in uh depicting Heidi Lamar, who uh I loved that show, I loved the way it was written, I loved your performance, and um it was it was very thought-provoking, and I'd already been thinking about doing my podcast, but when I saw you, I thought here you are depicting one of the most famous Hollywood celebrities, uh, most beautiful woman, and indeed you are you possess all that charm, and you really um your your presence on stage is glorious.
SPEAKER_01You're just very kind, thank you.
SPEAKER_00You're really wonderful to look at. Um, and I actually interviewed Graham, the director beforehand, Graham Warrener. Yes, and he says something interesting, which is why I wanted to interview you, and you even picked up on it earlier. He said, You're an incredible actress, but not known as an actress, and well known as an understudy, correct? Yes, yes, and I thought this was crazy because I was looking at when I went, I I didn't know what to think because I hadn't seen you perform before, and then I saw you. I was like, Well, you're an actress, what what are you what's he talking about? What are you talking about? And I I don't know where that label's come from, whether it's something you feel you're carrying or it's um something like you said earlier, people pigeonhole people, especially actors. We get pigeonholed all the time, which is part of what this podcast is about as well, is that I don't think casting directors sorry, casting directors, but I don't think you're very imaginative sometimes, and um they like to go, right? She looks like the romantic lead, or he's the comedy role, and she's the best friend. They they sometimes can't look outside the box.
SPEAKER_01Well, they know what it they know what works, don't they? If it's work before, it's probably tried and tested. And will they take risks? I think they should take more risks. I think I think sometimes they do, but with me, I think it's in the door.
SPEAKER_00Why what's this label?
SPEAKER_01Why why do you feel it's it's getting in the door to be seen for things, and I the auditions I get are okay, if it's a film role, great, because it will be the role, but mainly I get called in after the main cast have been cast.
SPEAKER_00Um, because you have a very good reputation. So I'm interviewing Daryl back on Friday, and I said that I was interviewing you. She went, Oh, Susie is amazing, she is a wonderful actress, and also my old age.