The Musician's Shed Podcast

THE MUSICIANS SHED PODCAST: MARIEL BILDSTEN

Samar Newsome Season 1 Episode 21

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0:00 | 31:26

What does it take to leave a comfortable local music scene and completely reset your standard of excellence? In this episode of The Musician’s Shed, host Samar Newsome connects with the incredible New York-based trombonist and septet bandleader Mariel Bildsten.

From her accidental start picking up the trombone at ten years old just to hang out with friends in Santa Barbara, California, Mariel charts her high-stakes leap of faith to study at The New School in New York City. She dives deep into the raw psychological realities of being an independent artist, sharing her personal "cliff-jumping" philosophy on taking massive creative risks and using every technical setback as a launchpad for a growth mindset.

Samar and Mariel shred the toxic industry myth of the "isolated, lone-wolf musician," breaking down why learning to delegate, build a trusted team, and pass genuine structural ownership to your collaborators is the ultimate secret to career longevity. If you are an aspiring brass player, bandleader, or independent creative looking for a blueprint on how to handle business at home without burning out your artistic spark, step into the Shed for this essential masterclass.

Key Highlights From This Session:

  • Embracing the Butt-Kicking: Why leaving a small-pond environment and stepping into highly demanding competitive circles is the fastest accelerator for your musicianship.
  • Micro-Shedding Architecture: Mariel’s exact blueprint for tearing down practice anxiety by isolating microscopic, slow harmonic goals instead of burning out on mechanical exercises.
  • The Harmony Hurdle: Transitioning a single-note melodic mindset into deep harmonic mastery by remaining a humble student and taking piano lessons from peers.
  • Standing Sturdy in Your Taste: Why your intuitive artistic compass is precious, and how protecting what you dig insulates you from peer pressure and standard industry box-checking.
  • Sneak Peek at the 2027 Septet Album: Exclusive details on her upcoming vocal-concept record—recorded during pregnancy—which explores the expressive, buttonless physical parallels between the trombone slide and the human voice.

Connect with The Musician's Shed:

  • Host: Samar Newsome
  • Follow Guest: Mariel Bildsten (@marielbildsten)
  • Subscribe: Tap that follow button on your favorite RSS stream to lock in your weekly masterclass!

Real Talk. Real Musicians. Real Growth.

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SPEAKER_01

Hey, this is Samar Newsom, and this is the Musician Share Podcast. I'm here with a very special guest of mine, a very good, amazing musician, and um a cool, a cool, cool lady. Um, Miss Marielle, how are you doing? I'm good, thank you. How are you? I'm good. Now you didn't change your name, right? You you're still built. How did I say you're okay? Yeah, but first of all, um tell us how you got started in music. Because you're first of all, seeing uh uh somebody on your caliber, I saw your your your work, you're amazing, but how did you get started in trombone?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, um, I was 10 years old, so I started in fifth grade, and I just started because my friends were in elementary school band and I was wanted to hang out with them. Um, so it was kind of an excuse to do that. And they needed a trombone player in the band, and so that is what I picked. Um, and it was I I didn't take it seriously in the beginning at all. It was just kind of a fun thing, um, and then very slowly fell in love with it through middle and high school. Um, I grew up in a beautiful town of Santa Barbara, California, and there was um just enough of a scene there and musicians there to to be mentored by and um and look up to that were incredible. So there's a city college program there, and then um the high school had a jazz band. So there was enough going on that I could kind of uh bite into and and get inspired by, um, which was wonderful. That was a great experience. And then yeah, just um at the end of high school was kind of figuring out okay, what am I doing for for me for school, um college, and music was the thing that was the most exciting and compelling to me. So then I moved to New York to study at the new school. So that was kind of the I'm just grabbing my that's cool, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Oh, yeah. So that's that there's a lot of people that I know that kind of came from new school, which is kind of dope. Um and I it's crazy because before my cousin went there, I had never heard of it.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01

And I don't know, you I don't know if you play with him because he's a trombone player too. Uh Saunders Hermons.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, yeah, I know I know of him, but I don't know him super well. He's an incredible trombone player.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, he's a beast. He's a beast. So one of the things that I kind of uh always talk about is how people come from different places, like he grew up in Florida, and then he came to New School, and then of course, you know, his career just went crazy. So tell me about that part of the journey, like coming from you said Santa Barbara, California. Why would you ever leave there, by the way? Um great question.

SPEAKER_02

Uh sometimes I wonder that too. Um well, I my mom's a New Yorker, she grew up in in Queens, and my grandparents lived, you know, still live here and and and live in New York. Uh so I would visit all the time, and I was always just really excited to be in New York. I I really liked, I liked the place. So when choosing schools, I was like, I know I'm gonna end up in New York somehow, like at some point in my life. Uh so it's either now or later, and I figured let's just bite the bullet and go for it. Um and I mean I wasn't ready to be in New York, like musically. Um, but I was really excited to be here and really ready to get my ass kicked. I mean, that was like my main goal of being in New York was let me just figure this thing out and and um be around the music as much as possible. Um, I didn't actually know what that would look like or feel like or sound like, um, but I just were up for it. I was up for it, and I think it was a huge leap of faith, you know, I think in a lot of ways. Um and it was different in every way from the environment that I grew up in, but in a way that was really exciting to me and that I was really like I was I was just I was happy to get into it.

SPEAKER_01

So that's amazing. I mean, again, like I said, I marvel at that because I know it gotta take a lot of courage to to leave where you're from and to do something like that. So kudos to you. I mean, you're killing the game too. And and I I you said something about um you knew it was gonna kick your butt, basically. So I mean, tell tell the audience, like I think having that mindset and that expectation is important because sometimes people think, especially this generation, a lot of times will think things are easy or they come fast, like you just you just show up and you did a couple of lessons and now you got it. But yeah, it takes it takes incredible work. Um, what what what is your work ethic had to be to get to this point?

SPEAKER_02

Um, well, I think it was a lot of I don't know how to say it. I think my psychology is sometimes like like just jump off the cliff and see what happens and then learn from that and then kind of dust yourself off and then jump off another cliff. Like I don't think it's wise. Um I I wouldn't like prescribe that to anyone, but it's just kind of how my personality is, is like um having just enough confidence or uh or stupidity. I mean, you can whatever to be like, oh, I can try to do this thing and then like try to figure it out and then and then learn something and then try again and then learn something and try again, you know. Um so I I think I just knew at that point, like if I'm gonna try to do this thing, and it wasn't like, oh, if I don't play music, I'll die, or like, you know, I I don't know if I had that sort of um like it's this or nothing attitude. It was like, well, I want to be around it and see what it is because I actually don't think I know anything. Um and so I I don't even feel like I know anything now. I mean, I don't know. I like I I don't that's not the attitude I bring to any situation I'm in because I think that I actually don't know a lot. Um being uh being humble or whatever you want to call it, or like work, I don't know, it just feels like, well, I what I know is uh I'm how do I say this? Um like let me just absorb as much as I can from all the situations that I'm in and and then carry those things with me. Like we are what we eat, right? Like experience-wise. So let me just kind of soak as much as I can and be a sponge, um, and then see if this is something that I that I enjoy and that I like and that I want to make a life of, or you know, so I think it's it hasn't been one moment or one thing, it's just been kind of like years of not trudging along that makes it sound negative, but like bring it out, you know.

SPEAKER_01

No, I think I think having a growth mindset is what sometimes we we call something like that, where it's just like I'm always willing to learn, I always I'm always a learner. And I've I've talked to some other guests on the podcast uh about this specific thing, and just saying, like, where some musicians get in trouble is when they believe they've arrived or they've learned everything. And like to me, the more you learn, the more you know you don't know. That's that's for me. That's been my experience.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, yeah. Like, and sometimes it it stresses me out how low I know.

SPEAKER_01

Because there's levels, there's levels to this. So, you know, you you might have conquered one level, and you know, you're like, okay, this is the level. I I talked to my wife once. She she went to I met her in college for music, and she's a singer. And she talked about like how she she used to perform all over New York, all over Brooklyn. And then when she got to school, she realized that although you were like the top of the heap in your circle, when you get to this new circle, totally it's it everybody was the top of the heap at their circle, you know what I mean? So that that new environment now is a new challenge, like you said. What is one of those uh cliffs that you said, uh quote unquote, um, that you've had to kind of recover from, like that in your in your experience?

SPEAKER_02

Um let's see. I relate to what you're saying a lot about like as you as you know more, you you like hold yourself to a new like I look back at like some of my goals, you know. Like I would write, like, I want to play with this band and this band and this band, and now I like kind of look back and chuckle. Like at every or or even how we sound, right? Like the our goals of how we practice, it's like it's constantly changing because we're constantly getting better and therefore holding ourselves to an even higher standard than we did a year ago or six months ago or whatever. So it's like this constant, like and I love that we're never there. I think sometimes it's infuriating because you're like, wow, I'd love to just chill. Um, but I also think that that's so much of the joy and the curiosity of what we do. Um, I'm trying to think of, yeah, this cliff thing. I mean, I've had so many moments of being in in um, I think as a band leader, it's very vulnerable. And and I've learned so much from that. Of, I don't know if there's like a cliff moment there, but like just learning a lot on the bandstand um with my band or or in in all sorts of situations and and just kind of um seeing kind of what's in front of you and like okay, what needs to get done, you know. Um I I often feel like the weakest link of any situation. And so just kind of understanding that feeling, and that that's actually like that's positive. I think it's sometimes embarrassing, you know, or um keeps you keeps you feeling like wow, I really want to do better, which is great. Right, but I I think that that's such a positive thing to feel like okay, I I'm surrounded by the best musicians in the world. Like, how am I going to keep at this thing to to be worthy of this moment, right? Because that's not guaranteed.

SPEAKER_01

No, I got you. I got you. That makes sense. That makes sense. Um so so now thinking of that along that line, what I mean, now you didn't say a cliff yet, but like what was one of your biggest challenges on your way to where you are now? Because I mean, you know, we could we could say, regardless of still being learning and all of that, you're at a very strong place that somebody who's starting off is like, I would love to get there. So what's a what's a adversity that you had to overcome that that you can look back and say, okay, I'm glad I got through that because that got me, you know, closer to where I am.

SPEAKER_02

I think having clarity about so I I don't I don't feel like I've um dealt with a lot of adversity like externally. I think I've dealt with a lot of adversity inside. Gotcha. Um which is great. I mean, I I that's a really lucky position to be in, I think. Um like I don't have people whole like call me, you know, like I don't I don't know. I I I I feel very lucky that I I live a very like positive life and you know, all of that. Um, but I think some a big challenge, I I think my biggest challenge has just felt has been like, how do I, how can I know more about this thing that I'm doing, right? So um something that I'm constantly working on is like I want to understand harmony better. Like that is something that I want to know. Trombone is a single note melodic instrument. So melodies, I got you all day on that. But when it comes to like dealing with harmony and um and changes and arranging and all of that, that's been my biggest challenge musically. Um, because that's so something that I have been doing is like taking piano lessons from friends and being like, okay, let me figure this out. Um, and just having the, like you said, like the growth mindset to be like, it's okay that I don't know this, and I'm gonna take steps to figure it out rather than like shaming myself or feeling, wow, you're so stupid that you don't know these things. Like, let's just handle it very slowly. So just kind of continually being a student has been a big part of my of my journey and and asking for help, you know. I think I had this idea that that everyone does everything on their own, you know, when I was first coming up, like everyone's writing music, arranging, booking, um, planning everything, like that everything, you know, I had this idea that like you have to do it all on your own to get to where you want to go. And I I just really disagree with that now. I think delicate. It's just not true. Like people have teams and and um and people helping them. So I've just I think it has taken a big uh a lot of um knowing myself of like what are my strengths and my weaknesses and and for the things that I'm not so good at, how can I ask for help with these things? You know, that's the like the biggest um learning experience for me, you know, because what ends up happening is everything's better. Yeah, when we involve more people, right? Like that's right. Um, so the music is better, it gets taken care of in the way it needs to, it's collaborative. Like that why I love music is that it's about like it's it's a social experience. Um, so my idea of doing it all on my own was just leading me to like a lot of loneliness and self-doubt rather than being like, oh okay, let me let me delegate here and let me involve people in this process and ask for help. And um, and that's been really super helpful. So I I feel like it's changed my perception of how this all works and um keeps me also focused on like playing trombone really well, you know. This thing's it's a pain in the ass.

SPEAKER_01

I mean, it's that's so true. I mean, the the the top artists in the world have teams, you know, not not not only from like, you know, you could talk about I don't know, Beyonce, you know, she has teams for everything. Like there's teams writing the songs, there's teams producing, there's teams engineering, there's teams on, you know, what she looks like, her glam squad, all that stuff. So there's there's so many people, and it like you said, the collaboration does bring a different energy, you know what I mean? Like it you don't have to carry it on your own. You probably there I think there's a saying that says if you want to go fast, go alone, but if you want to go far, go with others, you know, which which I think is an interesting testament to just endurance. Like if you want to be in it for the long haul, you really gotta collaborate with people.

SPEAKER_02

That also celebrating like what other people know. I mean, what a treat. And and and that they have some ownership. I I really enjoyed seeing the people that I'm working with have ownership over the thing that they're working on with me. That's so fun, right? Because we don't just show up to a gig and play and leave. That that's a great experience too. But I also think it's really nice to be like, wow, like I really like I I have a piece of a piece of this is me, you know? And then properly paying them for that and giving them credit for it, and all of that piece is really important to me too. So it's like that process, I think, is just a lot more um rewarding long term than me like trying to get through it and feeling like, oh, I I I'm gonna hack something together, but it won't be as good as if I involve people, you know?

SPEAKER_01

Right. No, that's that's true. And and their investment in it is rewarding as well. Totally. Um, not just for for you, um for them, for you also. What what was a um what does your shedding look like these days? What is your shed technique and routine like?

SPEAKER_02

Um, it depends on what I'm prepping for, but it's gotten a lot um more focused actually in the last year, which has been great. Um, my husband's also a musician, so he'll like kind of help me think through things, which I'm so grateful for. Um so I really I practice very small things, like like make the goal really small. Like, okay, I'm learning a tune. I'm just gonna voice lead whole whole notes through the changes, right? And just like do that. Um, let me try to play eighth note lines through and and play chord tones on downbeats and something else in the between and just weave my way through through the changes um and just make it like really small and really slow. Um and I've just found that that process, I transcribe a lot, um, I I do these like just really small chunks of things um that is a lot more rewarding because you feel like you've actually done something. Yeah, I don't know about you, but like music is so big, yeah, there's so much to learn all the time that I can easily become overwhelmed by the mountain. And then I'm like, I'd rather not. Um so just making things smaller has been the biggest uh help for me. Huge. Um, but I mean on trombone, it's like I I really have been also trying to focus on getting to the music sooner rather than getting to the technique sooner. Like I used to be like, okay, I can only play, you know, work on improvising after I've done my long tones and my lips and my scales, right? Um, and I've just found that like my brain uh gets tired. And so what would happen is that I would do all of that stuff, and then I'd be like, okay, I I need I'm done.

SPEAKER_01

I need to rest. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

I need to rest.

SPEAKER_01

Now I can't do the rest, the other stuff.

SPEAKER_02

I can't do the other stuff, but the other stuff is actually like the juicy stuff that matters. Like technique will kind of sort itself out. So I've been um just working on like getting the music sooner in practice sessions so that it actually happens. Yeah, um, and then also combining things as much as I can. Like, how can I, you know, turn this thing into a tonguing exercise? How can I turn this into like and everything is like everything I play, let me play with beautiful tone, right? So that it's just consistent. And then when I'm performing, I don't have to think about it. That's my goal. I don't want to have to think about, oh, how does this? It's like I just want to play and be in the moment with whoever I'm playing with and be of service, right? Like so, how I think about practice is like if I'm better at this thing, I'm able to certain like be more of service to the people I'm playing with, be of service to the audience. So I've got to take care of business at home so that in that moment I can really do it.

SPEAKER_01

No, that makes a lot of sense. Um what's what's a standard piece of advice like that you heard over the years that you feel like you know what, that wasn't true. Like it's like a myth amongst musicians or something.

SPEAKER_02

Hmm. What's one for you? I'll I'm gonna, I'm gonna I'm I maybe you can maybe you'll you'll jump to the point in my brain.

SPEAKER_01

I'll give you a very simple one that I kind of correct. Um, you know, the whole idea of practice makes perfect, right? What I had to learn was practicing not in quantity but in quality. So perfect practice makes perfect. So when I teach my students, I'm telling them all the time, like, practice makes perfect sounds good, but if you're just practicing wrong, you're just gonna be good at playing it wrong. You know what I mean? So so perfect practice makes perfect. And again, that's not so that that's not so much a myth, but it could be misleading if you just take it on its on its um face value. But I mean, there's there's things that people say all the time, like uh that that you get into the situation you're like it's not really like that, or you know, or like like let me ask you a question. You're you're in the jazz world, right? So what is there any challenge to being a woman playing an instrument that not a lot of women play? Actually, that would sound like that would be an advantage, but um, but like has there has there been any challenge being a woman in that world? Because that's not a dominated by women world.

SPEAKER_02

So it's certainly not dominated by women, but there's actually so many women that play. So it's been good to just get to know other women and be like, wow, this isn't like that special. Um so that's helpful just to like take that away. For sure. Um and I mean I've had a I've had a I've had a great time. I don't know. I don't have any like I there are dynamics, certainly. Um but I've learned over the years of like how to how to navigate navigate it and and um and take care of myself and take care of the people around me. Um what I love about this music is that it's there are so many different people that play it. So being a woman is not like it's it's not the only. You're not the only like other, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01

Right, right, right, right, right. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02

There's so many different people with so many different experiences, and so that's been just uh such a treat to like get to know people from all over the world and all different ages. I mean, we're talking about such a like intergenerational music, also. Oh, for sure. Um, but it's been cool. I don't know. I also feel like sometimes I get opportunities that maybe other people don't because to the outside world, this is some super I'm super special, even though I don't feel that way, right? Like there's kind of this whole thing about that. Okay.

SPEAKER_01

Well, there's I mean, there's there's a lot of dynamics to just like again a male-dominated culture. Um, of course, there's attractions that could come and all of those things that come along with that. But um, but obviously you you figured out how to navigate, which is important.

SPEAKER_02

It's just showing up and being professional. Absolutely. Absolutely at the end of the day, that's what it is. That's what it is. And so um I I learned pretty quickly to just like show up and and and look professional, act professional, and and just treat people like people. Like I'm not a victim to be on this gig.

SPEAKER_03

Right, right, right.

SPEAKER_02

That just doesn't feel like the real dynamic. I actually feel really honored to be there to play this music. Um so I'm not like I don't know. I certainly there are horror stories and people have had really bad experiences, but I think this um I don't I don't I don't want to minimize that, but that's just not been my experience. That's amazing, which is great, you know. Something that I'm I was I had something for you, the the advice thing. Oh, I okay, here's something. I this is my personal experience is that like I I I don't think that there's one way to do this thing. Like, I think that there are a million ways to get to where you want to go. And I from the conversations and the people that I get to talk to, and like the ways that they've navigated the world, the thing that just feels the most consistent is that there's just no one way to do the thing.

unknown

Right.

SPEAKER_02

You know, like there's it requires a lot of creativity and a lot of um sticking to your guns and a lot of consistency, and like those things are really consistent, but like how everyone kind of gets to where they want to go is so varied and and so diverse. And I think that um, you know, like for younger musicians, like I just I don't want anyone to be discouraged because their path doesn't look like the same, yeah, someone else's, you know, because I just don't I don't believe in that. Um and I don't know if people gave me that advice of like, oh, your path must be this, but I just I think there's a million ways to get to to what you want, and also for all of that, it's like I couldn't have imagined the sort of musical situations that I get to be in now, right? Or the people that I get to play with and the music that I get to because I didn't I didn't even have that exposure, right? So it's like at every turn there's a new exposure. Like I just when I was a really young musician right out of school, like I just said yes to everything. I was just like, I I don't know what I want to do, I need money. Like it was very practical, like, okay, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. And then slowly you're like, okay, I don't love this sort of music, I would prefer this. You know, you can get more um picky over time, but I think that that's such a huge part of of learning is just experiencing as much as possible and being open to that, and then and then you know, figuring out, okay, how do I kind of shimmy my way through this?

SPEAKER_01

Right. No, that makes sense. What what's one piece of advice you would give your your younger self? You're just starting out, you just picked up the trombone, and what you know now, what what would you what could you probably save yourself some time in learning?

SPEAKER_02

For me, I would say practice more.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02

Just practice more basics. Yeah, like um just take care of business sooner, you know, like it it is true. I I remember older musicians would tell me in school, like, make sure you're practicing now because life gets complicated later. Like you're gonna have kids, you're gonna have a lot of things to juggle or whatever, right? Like life just gets more busy. It just gets worse, yeah.

SPEAKER_01

Well, not worse, but time-wise, your time gets worse. Limited.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, like when you're a kid, you don't really know uh, or like you don't really you don't realize because you don't have the context, but like you have so much time.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, so my advice was just like would be to like just take that seriously and also to to not doubt your taste, like what you like is precious, I think.

SPEAKER_01

Right. No, go ahead. I'm sorry, I was cutting you off.

SPEAKER_02

I just I think that I there's a lot of like peer pressure, like, oh, this is the cool thing to like, or and I I I think that you want to stay open and and all of that, but also just really getting to what you want to get into, like and that can look so many ways, and just to like really believe in your taste, um, because that is the thing that uh I believe really carries your music forward um in whatever situation, because it's gonna just inform everything. So I think taste just refining your taste um and not be ashamed to like be sturdy in that. I think I think that's that could be good advice too.

SPEAKER_01

No, absolutely. These days, these are the days of like niche and uh uh nuance and you know specificity, and there's an audience kind of for everybody, you know what I mean? I think you know, and so understanding that if your taste is in a different direction that's not traditional, it's okay. There's an audience for it, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_02

Oh no, or if your taste is main like more traditional, great.

SPEAKER_01

Like that's fine too, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Dig dig what you dig is is kind of my the the short way of saying that because I think it it just informs because ultimately you want to make music you love, right?

SPEAKER_01

Absolutely, right?

SPEAKER_02

For people that you that you love being around with musicians that you enjoy, um, you want to enjoy the music you're making. So, like I think that's just a really important aspect of of this of this process is like, do you know what you like? Um and so just being being you know on on on yourself about that, I think is important.

SPEAKER_01

That makes sense. Listen, I appreciate you so much. I look forward to working with you again, you know, with this work back in the day. So I know and where can people find? I know you're working on a project, I don't know if it released yet, but tell tell us about your new project.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you. Um, yeah, we're coming out with a record. You know, I don't have a schedule yet. So we recorded it. Um, I'm pregnant, so our goal was to just thank you. Our goal was to just like get this thing recorded before the kid came. So yay, we did it. Um, and now I'm in the mixing process, um, and we'll shop it around the labels and do all of that. But um, I think next year is realistic, so 2027, and it's um my septet, so that's the seven-piece band, so it's four horns in a rhythm section. And the concept of the album is um this idea that has been really informative for me and fun for me to play with is this idea that like the trombone is very similar to the voice. So um thinking of, you know, just in the way that like trombone doesn't have buttons, we've got this slide, our voice also doesn't. And so we're able to just be really expressive on trombone in this way that I think is really special.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

Um, so the album is exploring that, but through um, you know, I was been very inspired by by people like Sarah Vaughn and um and her way of kind of carrying melodies over a band. And so I was like, okay, what would maybe something sound like if if I was playing trombone in that role?

SPEAKER_03

Gotcha.

SPEAKER_02

Um, so that's kind of the the you know, the idea for the project. And um, there's some original stuff on there, and then some also just like classic standards that are arranged really beautifully by by people like Mickey Yamanaka and my friend Marty Jaffe on bass. And um, so it's been a really fun kind of collaborative project. But that's the that's the new project um nice that will hopefully be out next year.

SPEAKER_01

So we're looking forward to supporting you and appreciate you coming on. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you so much, Samar. This is so fun.

SPEAKER_01

For sure. I'll talk to you soon.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, see you soon.

unknown

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

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