Episode Twenty One: UPDATED: Angels at Sea

Picture it...
Like an episode of "The Love Boat" but with a lot more dead bodies and explosives!

The Townsend Agency takes on a major whodunnit at sea and figure it out in about 25 minutes. It's what happens next that pushes the Angels to their limits. With Boz out of commission due to a hallway attack, Jill, Sabrina, and Kelly race against the clock...literally...as three bombs are ticking away and mere moments from ending the lives of everyone on board -- including the killer.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_06 0:00

Heads up, Angels. While our podcast is suitable for all ages, keep in mind these episodes were produced in a different era and may include scenes of danger, crime, or themes some listeners may find sensitive or outdated. When doing our rewatch, we do our very best to discuss everything with care, context, and compassion, and always with a love for the show and respect for our listeners.

SPEAKER_13 0:37

And coming up.

SPEAKER_06 1:22

With me is Colby Smith. Hey, Colby.

SPEAKER_14 1:25

Hi, everybody. Thank you for joining us this week. How are you, Chris?

SPEAKER_06 1:31

I'm doing great. You know, I rattled on and on. There's a shock last week about my near-death car experience in a parking lot at a grocery store. Tell us about you. What's new with you?

SPEAKER_14 1:42

I thought it was someone else's near-death experience that you must go up.

SPEAKER_06 1:47

Everyone could feel the breath of angels on the back of their neck. Let's just put it that way.

SPEAKER_14 1:52

I see. I am pretty good. I'm very excited that I have uh three little pumpkin babies in my little pet. They are steadily growing. I'm very excited. I hope to have more. And I will post pictures of uh my little children.

SPEAKER_12 2:10

The poor girl is out of her mind.

SPEAKER_06 2:12

You said pumpkin babies, and immediately what sprang to mind is Muppet Babies. And now I'm I love Muppet Babies. Pumpkin babies. Nicole, this is not a euphemism. Do you have to rotate your pumpkins?

SPEAKER_14 2:39

Only after they sort of first formed.

SPEAKER_06 2:44

Well, I feel like they're formed now, and that was your story.

SPEAKER_14 2:47

After you can tell that the pollinated female bud uh is going to become a pumpkin, uh, at some point, then I will sort of set them upright so that they're not sitting on their side. Uh so now all of them are sitting on um where the flower was. Um so yeah, you do kind of have to situate them, especially if you're growing extremely large pumpkins.

SPEAKER_06 3:15

So rotating your pumpkins, which was exhausting, but you painted a lovely picture and what else are you doing?

SPEAKER_14 3:24

Uh maybe some extra episodes after season one is wrapped.

SPEAKER_06 3:32

Everyone watch your socials and watch your Patreon and hide your children because we are planning some special things as we wrap up season one. Speaking of wrapping up season one, today's assignment. It's episode 21, Angels at Sea. The episode Brave Enough to Ask. We've done Blackmail at the Wazoo, and we are fast running out of perceived exotic locations. Uh uh, anybody got any ideas? You? What? A cruise ship? Are people gonna get murdered? Yes. Is there an unstable person who can commit these atrocities, but we won't explain it? Yes, done! Lock us in.

SPEAKER_14 4:19

Fresh from the production dossier, here is your case briefing. The team, including Bosley, take a cruise and murderer or murderers, are on board a luxury cruise liner. The stakes are higher than ever, as the gang cannot flee the scene for safety. Once they set sail, it's the Angels versus who knows what, meaning they have to be prepared for anything. And here is your super secret intel from behind the scenes. Originally aired March 23rd, 1977. At 50 Minutes, director Alan Barron, although born in 1927, he is still with us. He is an actor, director, artist, and comic book illustrator. He directed all the pod faves and 12 episodes of Charlie's Angels, one of which we've already covered, The Mexican Connection. In 2018, he was accused of both sexual harassment and religious discrimination by a former personal assistant, not good. There are two writers for this episode: John D.F. Black, we covered him five episodes of Charlie's Angels, and he was the person we mentioned wrote the famous Face the Final Frontier for Star Trek. Edward Lasco, we have covered him maybe every episode several minis. Again, he wrote 51 episodes of Charlie's Angels, produced 47, and wrote some of the music for nine episodes.

SPEAKER_06 6:13

He's multifaceted.

SPEAKER_14 6:15

Much like we got a little there's a little surprise in the next episode about Mr. Lasco.

SPEAKER_06 6:20

Before we begin the rundown of today's assignment, here's some classified details you need to know. And I could not be more thrilled. Because you know what? I love how a boat does, I love how a camper do. I love how a trailer do. And we're gonna talk about a boat and how it does. Some of the parts of this week's episode were filmed on the RMS Queen Mary, docked in Long Beach then, docked in Long Beach now.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

I am so excited, haunted.

SPEAKER_06 6:53

Oh, I have something to say.

SPEAKER_14 6:55

We'll get to that, I know, so keep going.

SPEAKER_06 6:56

I saw Colby's face, and did everyone hear how mad I got? He pushes me to it.

SPEAKER_05 7:02

She is so brave and beautiful.

SPEAKER_06 7:05

Now, this is quite near the LA studios of Charlie's Angels. RMS Queen Mary has almost 150 IMDB credits as a location. Same as you, Colby. Yeah. I think you're listed at the Eagle. It launched in 1934, and it very much looks like those old-fashioned Yield steamers with the three big stacks kind of at an angle down the middle. It was retired in 1967 and brought to the city of Long Beach, opened to the public in 1971 after some repairs and refurbishments. Alright, as Colby mentioned, this is a little hot tutin for me. Rumors of hauntings then abounded. Time magazine named it amongst its top ten haunted places in 2008. Like a lot of hauntings, when actual research is done, Colby, the stories don't hold up. Okay, I'm getting distracted. It's not the RMS Queen Mary in this episode. Well, it is, but they don't use the name. It's the fictional name of the Belle Helene.

SPEAKER_14 8:20

So a friend of mine and I, well, a mutual friend of Chris's and mine.

SPEAKER_06 8:25

He likes me better.

SPEAKER_14 8:26

Kevin, we talked about going uh to Los Angeles and staying on the Queen Mary, uh, partly, of course, to see where they filmed this episode and a season three episode, Angels Ahoy, and of course to stay in a haunted hotel because it's fun and let people enjoy things.

SPEAKER_06 8:47

Here's what I know. If I have an attraction, if I want a lot of people to come and just get all torn up into pieces and video and post it, I'm gonna say, and it's haunted, is what I'm gonna say. Why? Because I know marketing. When am I gonna use it for this podcast? Maybe never, because of how Colby treats me. And on that note, let's take a break and we'll be back.

SPEAKER_12 9:18

What do you get when you press on a can of Noxema? Great Balsa Comfort.

unknown 9:26

You get.

SPEAKER_12 9:30

You get. The closer you shave, the more you need the comfort of Noxima. Bow's boy, my medicated, menthol, and regular.

SPEAKER_14 9:48

We are back, everyone, and Chris is going to move us into the debrief.

SPEAKER_06 9:53

Welcome back. We are gonna move to the debrief. It's gonna be Colby, me, all of you, and his pumpkin babies! Cruise ship that looks more like a steamship is atop the ocean waves. So, what's the difference in a steamship and a cruise ship? I don't know. I'm not a witch. But a male and female couple wearing jaunty sweaters tossed merrily across their shoulders and pointy collars. And the lady has on that Lorene Yarnell wig, Colby. You know when Lorreen Yarnell was in Wonder Woman and she controlled all those ants.

SPEAKER_14 10:30

I do. She's permissive.

SPEAKER_06 10:33

Yeah. That woman had on a wig like that ant controlled Shields and Yarnell. And I've met them, by the way. You've met Shields and Yarnell? Yeah, I met him in Florida. That's fun. My oh my god! My I'm going off script. My ex in Florida did a show with Yarnell on a cruise ship.

SPEAKER_02 10:54

Oh my. That's spooky.

SPEAKER_06 10:58

You can't make this up. They are walking along having the time of their lives when they are locked into a portion of the hallway and they are hot, steam piped to death.

unknown 11:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 11:19

Not like a pipe in the game of clue.

SPEAKER_01 11:22

On the side of my face.

SPEAKER_06 11:24

But the pipes were there and hot steam came out and they cooked in like three seconds and their little timers popped out. Were their lives cut short from the hot steam pipes? Yes, they were. But silver lining? Were their clothes wrinkle free when the bodies were found? Also, yes. We cut now to Boz and the Angels questioning John Strauss on the docks. Evidently, people are dying on every ship he's sent out over the past six months. And there have been at least two incidents per cruise. One can imagine the impact, I don't know, murders have on his business and future bookings. And in what may possibly be the very last voyage of this cruise line he owns, a ship is scheduled to leave that upcoming Thursday. And who Colby, who would want to be on this death cruise? Obviously, the people are getting really good prices to enjoy the chance to cheat death. And uh not just from that all-you-can-eat seafood buffet the Leto deck typically has. Have you ever been on a cruise?

SPEAKER_14 12:44

I have been on a cruise, yes.

SPEAKER_06 12:46

I have never been on a cruise.

SPEAKER_14 12:49

And I will be on a cruise in August.

SPEAKER_06 12:54

How have I heard nothing? How many cruises have you been on?

SPEAKER_14 12:58

This will be the second one. I'm not a big cruise person.

SPEAKER_06 13:01

The one coming up will be number two.

SPEAKER_14 13:03

Correct.

SPEAKER_06 13:04

Did you get nauseous and vomit everywhere?

SPEAKER_14 13:07

Mm-mm-m I told you I don't get sick on chips.

SPEAKER_06 13:09

Now that well, you've only been on the one. Don't act like you're going somewhere every weekend. I just we referenced some actor in a past pod, I think it was two weeks ago, and he was quoted as saying, Name a role and I've played it. That is Chris Berriment when it comes to vomiting. Name a place you can go, and I've vomited there. So I don't want to go on a cruise ship. Where are you going on this one coming up?

SPEAKER_14 13:36

I'm going to Alaska.

SPEAKER_06 13:39

Who's gonna turn your pumpkins?

SPEAKER_14 13:41

That is a great question. I'll have to have a little pumpkin sitter.

SPEAKER_06 13:48

Oh, or just swaddle them up. I hope that you have learned a lesson and you avoid the all-you-can-eat seafood buffet on the Lido deck, as well as hallways full of steam pipes.

SPEAKER_14 14:01

Well, if that happens, I will text you and let you know.

SPEAKER_06 14:06

Well, here's what could no, I'm not gonna be answering your text, then I'll be so thrilled. Now, Colby, you better be careful because here's what happened to the Angels in Voz. As they gather back from the docks at the Townsend agency to make their travel plans, someone in a very bold move pins a mannequin to their internal office door. Like not the outside doors we see at that stock footage of, but the the the people have gone in the front doors. I guess they don't have a little ding-dong bing bong or anything, and stabbity stabbed a mannequin.

SPEAKER_14 14:41

I thought Kim Masinger was sitting out front at the desk.

SPEAKER_06 14:45

Well.

SPEAKER_14 14:45

Am I incorrect?

SPEAKER_06 14:47

Yeah, because she met Michael Keaton.

SPEAKER_14 14:50

Ooh, I would have skedaddled too.

SPEAKER_06 14:53

And they started solving some crime together in Gotham City. So they open they hear a they hear a commotion and they open up their internal office doors. We see every time they're in their office, and there's that stabbity-stabbed mannequin with a note warning them not to sail Thursday. And that means, Colby, someone must have overheard their conversation at the docks. Bad guys know who the angels are, who Bosley is, and what they're doing, and that they've planned to be on the very next cruise. Not easily intimidated, the four proceed with the plan.

SPEAKER_14 15:30

Another wonderful scene between the Angels and Bosley. Bosley is concerned that he will not be going on this cruise. And the angels tease him about whether or not they are going to vote yes for Bosley to join them. Uh, it is very cute. That happens right before we get the uh the mannequin. I am going to fill us in on some guest star information. Thank goodness. Harold Stone plays cruise line owner John Strauss. We have a Hitchcock connection. He was in the 1956 movie The Wrong Man, two episodes of The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, and three episodes of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. Guest spots on, of course, all the pod faves, two episodes of Charlie's Angels, this, and he plays a different character in season five's He Married an Angel, Disney Connection, The Magical World of Disney in 1959, one episode of Texas John Slaughter, and one episode of Disney's Zorro. We're going to take a short break and we'll be right back.

SPEAKER_08 16:49

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SPEAKER_14 17:23

We are back, Angels. Chris is going to tell us what's happening with the team.

SPEAKER_06 17:30

All right. Thank you, Colby. Charlie has directed the team to determine suspects, opinions, possible motives. I'm going to spout off four characters to everyone right in a row, but we're going to talk about them and you're going to keep them in mind, and you'll see some of them again. Well, you'll see all of them again, but a couple, but not that much.

SPEAKER_03 17:52

I wonder why.

SPEAKER_06 17:55

One of the suspects is the chief engineer, Fred Cooper. He thinks everything that's happened, all of these murders and accidents are simply accidents. Number two, lounge singer, Jerion Mayer. She's terrified and she wants to quit, but she needs this gig pad. Why? We don't know. But she's pointing the finger at Fred Cooper because who knows the shit better than the chief engineer? Star Trek analogy. Think about Scotty and Jordy in the Star Trek shows. They're the chief engineer, and aren't they always the go-to, Colby?

SPEAKER_14 18:35

They are always the go-to, you're exactly right.

SPEAKER_06 18:38

He's looking at me like I have the head of a pumpkin baby. I think that is a wonderful analogy. Tom Lavin is the ship's purser. He thinks it's Jerian because everyone sit down and brace yourself for this logic. He says Jarian does it and is doing it because she's the least likely suspect. And also science and data. Because most serial murders are female, right? They are. Finally, Harry Dana. He's played by the awesome sauce Frank Gorshin. He's another lounge performer, and he does a little bit of singing like Jerry and Mayer, but he's also a performer, a comedian, a magician, a mentalist. And the different thing about Harry Dana is that he claims to be an actual mentalist. He claims to be a real psychic. This is not his shtick. He claims he really can do this. And he has seen the killer in his mind, and he's ID'd him as a six foot two male. Yet somehow Tom Lavin, the ship's purser, still thinks it's Jarian. So poor Tom.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

On the side of my face.

SPEAKER_06 20:14

What we have, everyone, is basically we we think I'm proven wrong later, but at this point we think, oh my god, we're getting a fun Who Done It. We're getting a little Agatha Christie, but with the cast of Charlie's Angels, and I am here for it. This is fun. They've established everything right up front the way those Who Done It to do It. Oh, Who Done It to Do It. Say that ten times fast. We know the setting, the boat, the characters. I just said them. The crimes. Death. And we're in it together. And it reminds me of when Mrs. Peacock said we have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, but we are determined to enjoy ourselves.

SPEAKER_11 20:56

I mean, I I have absolutely no idea what we're doing here, or what I'm doing here, or what this place is about, but I am determined to enjoy myself. And I'm very intrigued. And oh my, this soap's delicious, isn't it?

SPEAKER_06 21:08

But Golby, we are only seven minutes in, unlike this podcast. The writers, just like these who done it, got the exposition out fast. Wow, it is an absolute blast. The gang is being welcomed on board, and as much as I don't like to comment on looks, that is in part kind of what we're doing here, mainly because of the 70s fashion and because of the fashion craze this show caused. But since the actors caused an international sensation both with their fashion choices and that of their characters, we just have to factor that in. And I'm here to tell you Kate Jackson and David Doyle. I don't know how much input they had into what they were wearing, but they have these amazing sports coats on. Did you know? Notice just that pink. Yes, and is this really beautiful pink and blue plaid? I think that's called a madras. Am I right?

SPEAKER_14 22:08

It looks really lovely on her. Pink is a great color for um for Kate.

SPEAKER_06 22:15

I can barely dress myself, everyone, but I can recognize when other people look good. So look at Madras. I think it was Madras. They are greeted by Todd Lavin. We've talked about him, the ship's purser. He's no relation to Linda. And he greets the team. Everyone goes off to their individual rooms. No bunking together. And Charlie has a Charlie has a conference call. Talk about a tech alert. They all go to their rooms, all four of them, and they have these imaginary suitcase phones that in no way existed, especially when you're out in the city. But they're so fun.

SPEAKER_14 22:58

Have they left the dock yet, though? No, they haven't. Okay. They're so fun. It's very spy to have a phone and your little luggage.

SPEAKER_06 23:09

It's very glamorous. It's very shipped ashore to the extreme, isn't it? But as they get ready to have their conference call, I don't know why they all had to go to their rooms, except for it moves the plot forward because each found a threatening note in their room. Now this means the bad guys know for sure they are there. They didn't take his threat at the Townsend agency seriously. What rooms they're in, he has access or she to their rooms and their luggage. And that's scary. And I can't tell you how many times that happens to me on my vacations. But we're going to pause and talk about guest star alerts, Colby.

SPEAKER_14 23:51

We are. We're going to talk about this ship's purser, Tom Levin. The actor's name is David Watson, born in the UK, famously replaced Roddy McDowell in the 1970s Beneath the Planet of the Apes, was in one episode of Australia's Soap Neighbours, which gave us Guy Pierce, Jason Donovan, and Kylie Minogue.

SPEAKER_06 24:21

Oh, better the devil you know.

SPEAKER_14 24:24

We should be so lucky. Uh he is in the middle of the state.

SPEAKER_06 24:27

But it's never too late. What? I could go all night.

SPEAKER_14 24:32

I know. Uh, two episodes of the magical world of Disney's The Mystery of Edward Sims, a character actor with that. I know his face energy. He actively worked up until he died, which was 2000. We are about to meet the captain of this vessel, and he's invited the team to sit at the captain's table for cocktails and dinner. The restaurant is almost abandoned as everyone has been scared off by the killings. A great way to set the mood and save money on extras. The captain is actor John Myers. He does not have a name in this episode. He is strictly the captain. His mustache, his eyebrows, the way that he holds his face, to me, look exactly like Donald Sutherland in the Hunger Games movies. To you. Like they look like twins. Goons. He has been on lots of pod phase, including a Twilight Zone episode and the magical world of Disney's The Ghosts of Buxley Hall. Also Disney's The Shaggy DA. Disney's The Strongest Man in the World with Kurt Russell, which we have referenced in an earlier breakdown. Disney's Herbie Rides Again. Disney's The Snowball Express. Disney's The Treasure of Madacumbe. He is also in Death of a Salesman. He's also in How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying. He's also in 1776.

SPEAKER_06 26:18

So these are the theatrical productions, not the movie adaptations. Okay, then.

SPEAKER_14 26:22

Well, 1776, I believe, is the movie adaptation.

SPEAKER_06 26:25

Well, that'd be good information for us to have as we rotate our pumpkins, but we'll just do the we'll just do the best we can with that. One of the guests at the captain's table is flying solo because um for some reason. And the captain knows him, so I guess this is not his first solo cruise, and the character's name is Jack Armitage. Jack decides after the captain proposes a toast, he too will propose a toast, as one does when one knows a captain, and specifically toasts the three angels at the table. This freaks everybody out, and later in one of their rooms, Jill decides it was more than a come on how someone might casually say, You all are angels, but the rest of the Townsend team thinks it's just that a coincidence. Even though Jack Armitage fits the ship entertainer's psychic vision of the killer. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Forget that psychic could have seen him on past cruises and just know that I'm everyone, I'm a wet blanket when it comes to that stuff. And I you know what? It's controversial, yet brave.

SPEAKER_05 27:39

You're so brave and so authentic.

SPEAKER_06 27:42

The day passes, and at the next evening's dinner, where are they? They're somewhere out in the ocean. We don't know where they're going. But do their suitcase phones work? I bet they do. But we're at dinner again with like ten other people, that's it. They're at the captain's table, and this evening, the entertainer and mentalist, Harry Dana, is working the crowd by reading minds and performing impersonations. Most importantly, he states, and this really is freaky, and they never explain it. He says, Someone in the crowd is thinking about me. You need to be sure to tell Charlie I said hello. Super specific, super creepy. How did he know this? After this, several many violent acts happen in quick order, much like when I try to get ready for bed each night. One, someone set Sabrina's room on fire with another mannequin, and the burned charred message stabbed in this mannequin says, sorry I missed you. Oh, I mean, well, there you go, ladies and gentlemen. I I know it's only June, but there's a good Valentine's Day idea. And then they hear a man overboard announcement echo through the ship, which Colby, I didn't know they made man overboard uh announcements.

SPEAKER_14 28:58

Announcements to everybody.

SPEAKER_06 29:00

Yeah, do you think they really do that? Well, someone tell us in the comments. Man overboard echoes through the hallways. Everyone, including the angels, get up and they race into the hallway to try to head to whatever you call the edge of a ship where you're taking a looky-loo over down into the waves. I guess the side of the ship. As Boz exits his room to run down the hallway, someone sneaks up behind him and knocks him out with the butt of a gun. Okay, but oh, I see what you did there.

SPEAKER_14 29:35

But that we get of the person holding this rifle, the background is blue. You can see like this dark black line, which I'm gonna guess is the infrastructure of the ship, maybe. Like clearly, this little clip is someone outside, not in the hallway where the rooms are. Uh I just thought maybe a little bit closer attention would have been paid to having, you know, seen right after this Bosley laying in the hallway.

SPEAKER_06 30:09

Oh my God.

SPEAKER_14 30:10

Everyone, this is these pajamas, by the way.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Well, and a little sleeping hat.

SPEAKER_06 30:16

Does everyone hear? Does everyone hear? I'm going to get to all of this. People, he's looking at a script I wrote.

unknown 30:25

You need to clean.

SPEAKER_06 30:26

This all happens quick. Sabrina's room is on fire with a mannequin. They recover. Everybody goes to bed. Man overboard. They all race to the side of the ship. How do they know which side? I don't know. I'm not a sorcerer. But moments later, and I do mean moments, they announce from the ship speakers, man, spot in in the crow's nest. And all of these spotlights, I guess a ship has, zoop right up to the crow's nest. And that individual has to be Bosley because that individual is wearing Bosley's PJs we just saw and his little sleeping cap, Colby mentioned, which is very cute. Colby, I hope you'll post a picture of that.

SPEAKER_14 31:08

Yep, I will absolutely take a screenshot. It's so cute.

SPEAKER_06 31:12

The angels rush away from the side of the ship, but that next second, the figure takes a topple and plummets to the ship's deck. Bam! Everyone rushes over and they discover it's not a human body. It's yet another mannequin. Mannequin count. We are at 3.0 mannequins. Bullets whiz overhead, over, under, sideways, behind the angels. Dashing toward the source, they find the shotgun, but no shooter. They also find the lounge singer and a naked Bosley sporting a big old bump on his head. I want to comment on a couple of things. This all happened within a matter of minutes. The man overboard announcement. Bosley's knocked out. Maybe a minute and a half passes. Someone or some people drag a dummy dressed in Bosley's pajamas. They had time to take off of him all the way up to the crow's nest, Looky Lou, dump him overboard, well, over the crow's nest, come back down, Colby, and then position themselves to shoot at the angels from all directions. That is speed.

SPEAKER_14 32:40

I think maybe we'll touch on this at the end of this episode.

SPEAKER_06 32:43

We just might see he reads that part of my script. Back in one of their rooms, Kelly dusts for Prince because remember they found the murder weapon. And I'm glad she brought her Fisher Price.

SPEAKER_08 32:57

Somebody's been murdered.

SPEAKER_06 32:59

Detective place. What did I say? Murder.

SPEAKER_08 33:02

Murder weapon. Can I please talk for five minutes without you interrupting me?

SPEAKER_06 33:07

Well, it's kind of a it was a would-be murder weapon.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

Correct.

SPEAKER_06 33:12

Yes. So back in one of the rooms, Kelly dusts the would-be murder weapon for Prince with her Fisher Price, my first would-be murder weapon, finger dust and place that.

SPEAKER_09 33:22

No jury would convict me.

SPEAKER_06 33:24

Since there are killers or killer or just a group of serial killers on board, they decide the best plan of action is to split up. Kelly gives up dusting the would-be murder weapon and goes off to find the captain, because much to their dismay, the phone in their room is dead, so they're going to need to tell the captain all their thoughts in person. Jill, wondering if it's just their phone or it's a shipwide phone issue, decides to go find somebody and tell them about the issue. In the hallway, just as Jill rounds the corner, there, startlingly there, is the body of Fred Cooper, the chief engineer who's been hanged. And there is a note from the killer telling the angels to thank him because now they can reap the benefits of one fewer suspect. Fred Cooper is out of the picture.

SPEAKER_14 34:21

So the actor playing Fred Cooper, his name is Louis Elias. He has to be in more Charlie's Angels episodes than any other day player on this show. I'm not going to list all of the episodes right now, of course, because there are so many. I believe he is in every season of Charlie's Angels and is, except for this episode, is practically always a goon.

SPEAKER_06 34:50

Oh, goon. If I only had a goon. Well, this is shaping up really well, Colby. This really, we're like 20 minutes in. This seems like a real murder mystery. Everything's in one location, and we all know I love bodies, bodies, bodies. Seeing cuts from Jill to Kelly, Kelly somehow magically knows where the captain is, and she's going down a hallway quite determined. But I, and other sharp-eyed viewers, recognize this as the steamy pipe death hall. And sure enough, the doors slam and she is trapped in that same steamy pipe hallway that couple in the opening scene were trapped in with the pointy collars, jaunty sweaters, and Lorraine Yarnell Wonder Woman Aunt Controlling wig. But unlike those two people, Kelly dies a lot slower. She's very resilient. I told you, Colby, last episode, it's a 70s, we were all very resilient except that one couple. She figures out what's happening, starts pressing on panels, and manages to climb the wall as one does and push her way through a ceiling tile to safety before getting boiled alive. In her white silk, beautiful PJs, she scrambles to safety through these ceiling areas and the ductwork, drops to safety on the other side, and is smudge free. But now we're about 25 minutes into this episode, and it's time for a change of plans.

SPEAKER_10 36:22

We're changing your plan. The changed our plan to change your plan.

SPEAKER_09 36:57

Ten years. Well, I guess we both believe in giving women what they want.

SPEAKER_06 37:04

For two days, the Angels and Boz have simply been reacting to the killer's moves. Maybe it's time they initiate a plan and be proactive. Colby, would you say you're a proactive person?

SPEAKER_14 37:19

Um, no, unfortunately, I'm probably a little bit more reactive. How so? Uh, I mean, you know, just in your daily life, you kind of get caught up with things and you put off, or you're um procrastinating being proactive.

SPEAKER_06 37:40

That is me. I know my pumpkins need to be rotated, and I just uh, as Colby pointed out last episode, I'm like a parakeet in a cage, a fish in a bowl. Every day is a brand new day. No lessons have been learned. Uh, but thankfully the angels in Voz think differently. Here's their plan. And it's kind of a clever one, don't you think, Colby? I do, yes. Yeah, the next scene, they're out on the upper deck in that same area where that mannequin Bosley dummy dropped from the crow's nest. I wonder if it's still called the Crow's Nest. So they're there and they have all the passengers gathered. Keep in mind nobody's on this cruise and they didn't want to pay for a lot of extras. When I say all the passengers and BT Dubs, all the crew are gathered. It's about 12 people. This giant steamer is run by about, I don't know, four people and then eight passengers. And the captain announces he is turning over this whole Shibim Boeing to Bosley because there have been two deaths, Bosley announces. The chief engineer, who Jill found in the hallway, and his associate, Kelly Garrett. So we get it. Kelly made her way back to the Angels and Boz, and that's what their plan is. She's gonna play dead so she can safely poke about. Colby, it reminded me of that episode where the water bottle explodes in Sabrina's top floor apartment.

SPEAKER_14 39:30

Target Angels.

SPEAKER_06 39:31

Yes, and Jill screams, she's dead, she's dead in this sea. Sabrina's free to run around and investigate, and now in this episode in season one, Kelly plays dead, and now she can run around and investigate. The other part of the plan is Boz, Jill, and Sabrina announced to all of those gathered the last murder took place in the steamy pipe hallway, and they found fingerprints on the steam valve. Therefore, all passengers and staff are compelled to leave their fingerprints, return to their rooms or their workstations, and stay there. Meanwhile, scene change. Kelly is up in the ceiling since that's become like her second home, I guess. She just merrily retins herself right up in the ceiling, and she's had for it. I mean, yes. Except this time she's wearing all black, which not only is that slimming and goes well with her hair, you're not gonna see your smudges. And that's being proactive, ladies and gentlemen. Colby, someone does show up, a single person. Who do you think it is?

SPEAKER_14 40:43

I think it's the ship's captain.

SPEAKER_06 40:46

Oh my god, and I was gonna say Celine Dion. But she was just a baby then, Colby. She couldn't have killed anyone. Plus, she was in Quebec.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Well, I do your cads, I'd like to sing a song by the greatest singer ever from Quebec, Miss Celintion.

SPEAKER_06 41:10

It's the entertainer and mentalist Harry Dana. Kelly watches as he pulls out some spray paint and he paints over the valve and then begins a big old spray painted graffiti on the wall with a warning. But Kelly pounces. She cartwheels donkey kicks and somersaults herself right out of that ceiling, lunges on him, but he manages to escape. Because what chance does a trained law enforcement professional have against an insane psychic? And there's I mean, I mean, the odds are not in Kelly's favor. They've lost Harry Dana. They know who it is, and they take off all around the ship to try to find him. And he's the killer, all right, and they find him signing himself in a lounge chair. He doesn't seem the least bit upset to be found. Did you find that weird?

SPEAKER_14 42:10

I did, yes.

SPEAKER_06 42:12

Because I'm always upset when I've killed a bunch of people and then I'm found.

SPEAKER_14 42:15

It is not the best game of hide and seek.

SPEAKER_06 42:17

No, it's not proactive, is it, Colby? No. Him sending himself in a lounge chair and essentially surrendering begins to set the stage and set the tone of what kind of person this guy is. He's a little off balance. He's not quite right. He fully admits to being the killer. He also admits he's planted explosives on this cruise, figuring, and rightly so, this was gonna be the last, and they were gonna go out with a bang, literally. The ship's gonna blow with him in it. He doesn't care. See sort of unbalanced. And he doesn't care because the picture unfolds he has a mental illness. Or at least that's the impression the episode is giving us at this time. And Jill even asks, Are you really insane, or do you just want us to think you are? To further this, he won't reveal why he's done it, where the explosives are located, and only the fact there are multiple bombs throughout the ship. The crew, the captain, and the towns and team surround Harry again, they press him for info. He doesn't tell him a thing, other than random, he was in a bad car accident a while back. He awakened in the hospital and was suddenly able to read mines. Colby it was for real real and not for playplay.

SPEAKER_11 43:42

For real real, not for play play.

SPEAKER_06 43:45

He approached the ship's owner we met at the beginning of the show and asked him for money to set up a foundation so he could find out what happened to him, and how whatever happened to him and his car accident could be developed, studied, and used. Harry, with a mental illness evidently brought on by such a serious car accident, blames Strauss, the owner, for everything, and he decided to make him suffer by ruining his cruise ship business because Strauss refused to give him money, told him to get back to work once he was better. Strauss was not gonna have it. Harry goes on a rant and a tirade meant to mimic a mental health breakdown and a decompensation. And for whatever reason, he reveals the locations of the explosives and that there's no way to stop them in time amidst maniacal laughter and lots and lots of impressions of celebrities. Let's wrap this up. Everyone splits up in dashes throughout the ship. The crew discovered all lifeboats have been sabotaged. Everyone is truly, truly trapped no matter what. Three bombs total. Boz is now on a ship-to-shore line with Charlie and a bomb expert back in LA because of course everyone's phones are working great. Uh the the room phones don't work, but those suitcase phones do. The bomb expert guides the angels through the process of disarming, and it's really well done. This part is very tense. It's a very suspenseful and different thing from what we've seen in season one so far. Bottom line, all are disarmed, and the angels beat it to the main deck, all three of them, and they toss the bombs overboard. All is safe, all is well. And in the closing scene, the angels are out on the deck sipping champagne poured by that Mr. Armitage from the beginning of the show, and he is in some mind-boggling, moose knuckling, nut huggering shorts. And they convince Charlie since they're pointed away from LA and the bombs have been, you know, tossed in the ocean where I'm sure everything's fine, and they can just sink to the bottom and sit there to let him enjoy the rest of the cruise because everyone is a-okay.

SPEAKER_14 48:00

These shorts, they how how do you sit down in them? It was in style at the time. I mean, and I I love some short shorts. These have to be like a one-inch in seam, maybe an inch and a half.

SPEAKER_06 48:17

Everyone was booty licious. Everyone was bringing their milkshake even before we had that word to mean, you know, your milkshake didn't.

SPEAKER_14 48:28

I do want to say that for just a moment, I do have some empathy for Harry wanting to have the opportunity to explore the sort of gift that happened after the car accident. I do think that he is misguided into thinking that uh Mr. Strauss sort of like sabotaged any avenue he had to get money to explore this. Um my sympathy is sort of curtailed because of all of the impressions. I felt like whoever was there during filming just sort of like said, let loose and do what you want, and they didn't like reel him in. It goes on a little too long. While we are talking about Harry Dana, this actor mentioned before is Frank Gorshin. No total explanation is given for his character's mind reading abilities aside from the car accident. The viewers are led to believe he most likely could read minds. Uh, this is kind of an odd choice. Um, like when the man overboard uh announcement happens, I am assuming that the mannequin that was placed in the crow's nests was hoisted with a rope and then let go with a rope, which is the only reason he'd be available to shoot the rifle at the angels immediately after the mannequin drops. Most folks know Frank Gorshin from playing The Riddler and the Adam West Batman series. He was the only cast member of that series to receive an Emmy nomination, although he did not win. He was only in 10 episodes and the movie, along with a 1979 TV special. Famously, he was in an episode of the original Star Trek. Let that be your last battlefield playing the character of Belay.

SPEAKER_06 50:56

Ooh, a ship term. Belay that order, Captain.

SPEAKER_14 50:59

These are the um these are the species that are half black, half white.

SPEAKER_06 51:06

Right.

SPEAKER_14 51:07

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_06 51:08

I mean, I say right, everyone. I didn't know that until I looked it up. And then the minute I looked it up, I remembered. But Colby knew that. Colby knew that off the top of his head. So props to Colby.

SPEAKER_14 51:19

Uh he has a Disney connection. Uh that darn cat with Hayley Mills.

SPEAKER_06 51:24

God, I love Haley Mills. Colby, let's get together. Yes, sir.

SPEAKER_14 51:27

You may remember her from The Parent Trap.

SPEAKER_06 51:31

Oh, that movie tears me up.

SPEAKER_14 51:33

The Alfred Hitchcock Hour, uh, one episode and one episode of Alfred Hitchcock Presents. He worked right up to his death, like many of the guest stars that we have covered, and had filmed so many things that he had new appearances air the year after he died.

SPEAKER_06 51:53

And before you take us out, Colby, with your final parting thoughts, I have two things. One is I certainly hope this has taught you a valuable lesson when you take your seemingly sudden cruise to Alaska later this year. I hope you'll check those lifeboats and I hope you will take extra precautions. The second thing I want to say is I'm disappointed in this episode. The first twenty minutes led you to believe you were getting an Agatha Christie, a murder she done set down and she wrote a glass onion. It had all the ingredients for that. And then after about 20 minutes, it spiraled into just a typical episode.

SPEAKER_14 52:41

I do like a lot of elements of the episode. I do, of course, love a Who-Dun It. Uh I would maybe have preferred that. I don't dislike the episode as a whole. Uh, I do remember seeing this for the first time, and uh when Kelly is in danger, uh, that is not acceptable to me. So I do not care for that.

SPEAKER_06 53:08

No, I don't like to think about Jacqueline Smith ever being in danger. I like to think of her as very fragile and very safe.

SPEAKER_14 53:15

Well, what I will say is later in the series, you know, Jacqueline is uh very much a fighter. So it is interesting to see these moments where she is sort of um dispatched very easily. I have just a couple more tidbits of information since we mentioned the Riddler from Batman. This is only information from season one, and these are other actors that have been in the Batman uh Adam West Batman series. Most recently Ida Lupino from I Will Be Remembered, Fran Ryan from Terror on Ward One, Sidney Klute from Dirty Business, Norman Palmer from The Seance, Peter Leeds from Bullseye, Judson Pratt from The Killing Kind, Joseph Ruskin, also from The Killing Kind, and William Beckley from Night of the Strangler. Now, some of these people see like Ida Lupino, Fran Ryan, um, Norman Palmer, Peter Leed, Sidney Klute, they look like people who belonged in the Batman series. Uh, of course, the the show itself is very stylized. It's very camp and very comic book, which I absolutely love. But these actors kind of keep that same style from a previous um, you know, generation or decade. To me, it was kind of easy to spot who I thought would have been in the Batman series.

SPEAKER_06 55:01

To you?

SPEAKER_14 55:02

To me.

SPEAKER_06 55:03

Guess what I just learned.

SPEAKER_14 55:06

What?

SPEAKER_06 55:07

First of all, this was a surprise, everyone, Colby. This was a great surprise. I loved this.

SPEAKER_14 55:12

And again, this is only season one.

SPEAKER_06 55:15

I will you make a mental note to be proactive and let's plan on doing this every season.

SPEAKER_14 55:26

Because that is absolutely gonna happen.

SPEAKER_06 55:28

Hey, Colby. May I ask you a question?

SPEAKER_14 55:32

No, you may not.

SPEAKER_06 55:34

Do you have any idea what I would have to do to be in a bomb squad?

SPEAKER_14 55:38

I do know what you would have to do to be in a bomb squad.

SPEAKER_06 55:41

Well, there is a coincidence.

SPEAKER_14 55:44

You'd have to be a completely different person with different skills.

SPEAKER_06 55:49

I can up my milligrams.

SPEAKER_14 55:51

Uh-huh. I don't think uh bomb squad people get to um elucidate endlessly on topics about nothing.

SPEAKER_06 56:02

So that rules you out. You have a little checklist for what it takes to be on a bomb squad. I do.

SPEAKER_14 56:07

So if everybody wants to know, our angels were very close. They were successful, which is wonderful. But there are a few more things to do to become a member of the bomb squad. You have to be a full-time law enforcement or military member with at least a three-year history. You have to take a 40-hour hazmat technician course. Done. You also need to take a six-week course. This is an FBI course that is done in Huntsville, Alabama. And after completing that course, you would need to return every three years for continued training.

SPEAKER_06 56:51

Sort of like a what's the course in?

SPEAKER_14 56:55

The course Is it in bomb diffusing?

SPEAKER_06 56:59

Is it in tiddlywinks? Is it in pumpkin rotation?

SPEAKER_14 57:02

Is it in Pumpkin Babies? It is a basic hazardous device course. I dated him. Uh-huh. It is at Redstone Arsenal in Huntsville, Alabama, as I mentioned. Uh, this is the only civilian bomb technician training school in the country. It covers render safe procedures, it covers elect uh electronics, it covers homemade explosives, x-rays, uh, and of course things like bomb disposal. Of course. That's great.

SPEAKER_06 57:36

Well, you know what? I think that's within all of our reach.

SPEAKER_02 57:39

Everyone said too, yes.

SPEAKER_06 57:41

As Casey Kasom said at the end of Every American Top 40.

SPEAKER_10 57:46

Keep your feet in the ground and keep reaching for the stars.

SPEAKER_06 57:50

Colby, you have taken us out on many a high note, educational, informative, inspirational, and factual. Why, this may be one of our most delightfully enriching podcast breakdowns we've ever had, thanks to you.

SPEAKER_14 58:08

Oh, thanks. That's very sweet of you to say.

SPEAKER_06 58:11

On top of that, your skin looks amazing. I wish everyone could see it. It really does. Yes. Well, this has been our breakdown of season one, episode 21, Angels at Sea. So until next time, bye Angels.

SPEAKER_02 58:26

Envoyage Angels. Bye, Angels.

SPEAKER_14 58:36

That successfully wraps up another mission. Good morning, Charlie is produced by Chris Berryman and me, Colby Smith. Editing provided by.