Ep 32 | The Leader Sets the Tone

Have you ever stepped into a leadership role… and felt like the room was quietly waiting for you to fail?

In this episode of Amazing Life Breakthrough, Steve shares a real story from his time leading a major company-wide event inside a large organization—when expectations were low, support was thin, and even his own team began to walk away.

What changed everything wasn’t the plan.
 It was the tone.

This episode is about what real leadership looks like when:

•  You’re outnumbered 
•  People don’t believe in the mission 
•  And you’re not even sure it’s going to work 

In This Episode

•  Why leadership is more about tone than title 
•  How leading with doubt quietly spreads doubt 
•  The moment everything shifted (and what caused it) 
•  Why belief is contagious—and how to create it 
•  How to recover when you start off on the wrong foot 
•  Why some people only show up after success 

Key Insight

People don’t just follow plans.
 They follow energy.

And when you’re the leader, people often borrow belief from you before they can create their own.

Leadership Shift

If you’re leading anything right now—ask yourself:

“What tone am I setting?”

Because tone becomes culture.
 And culture determines outcomes.

Listener Challenge

Today, choose one sentence that resets your leadership tone.

Something simple like:

•  “We’re going to figure this out.” 
•  “This can be great.” 
•  “Here’s what’s possible.” 

Then say it—and mean it.

Closing Thought

Some people will only support you once success is obvious.

But your real people?
 They show up before it’s popular.

Lead with them.

If this episode resonated, follow or subscribe so you don’t miss what’s next. And if you know someone stepping into leadership right now, this could be a powerful one to share.

Amazing Life Breakthrough — Helping you Live Life to the Fullest.

Also — one more quick thing — if you'd like to support the Podcast, you can do that at AmazingLifeBreakthrough.com — your support keeps this going and is deeply appreciated. 
Thank You.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Has there been a time when someone asked you to head up something? It could be for work, for home, maybe it's for a sports activity your children are in. Or maybe you are a student in school and your teacher or professor has asked you to take on something in a leadership role. Basically, what I'm asking is, have you ever walked into something as the temporary leader and felt like the whole room was waiting for you to fail? Not because they said it out loud, but you could feel it. The folded arms, the sideways comments, the polite distance, that invisible windstorm that makes you question, why did I say yes to this? That's what I want to talk about today, because leadership isn't just about having a title. It's about what you do when you're responsible, and the mood in the room starts working against you. Welcome to Amazing Life Breakthrough. I'm Steve Klein, and today's breakthrough is simple, but it will change how you lead. The leader sets the tone. This story goes back to a season where I was a software engineer by trade, building systems, solving problems, working in that lane. But our department had a gap. We didn't have enough project managers, and I was asked to step in as an interim project manager. What was supposed to be temporary turned into two years. And so, needless to say, I was already stretching, leading projects, coordinating people, managing expectations, while still having that identity in the back of my mind. I'm a software engineer, I'm filling a gap. And then right in the middle of that, I was also chair of the employee activities committee, and the CEO asked me to take on something big, put on the annual Christmas party on site, inside the building. Now I want you to feel the scope of this. This was a large healthcare organization, nonprofit, but equivalent in size and complexity to a Fortune 100 kind of environment. At this particular location, there were over a thousand employees, a massive building with a whole bunch of suites, more than a dozen, and the traditional Christmas party people were used to off-site, big venue, spouses, family, alcohol, the whole thing. But this year it was changing. No off-site venue, no spouses, no alcohol. And the building didn't have a single space where you could just cram a thousand people into one room at one time. Logistically, it was a puzzle. Emotionally, it was a protest waiting to happen. And here's where leadership gets real. I didn't help at first, because instead of stepping up with a clear, confident tone, I started by acknowledging all the reasons people wouldn't like it. I basically came in with something like, I know many of you may not like this, and we can't do what we used to do, and it won't have what it used to have. In other words, I led with apology. And what happened next is what always happens when a leader leads with doubt, the team starts to doubt too. Support got thin, people distanced themselves. Some of my own committee didn't believe it was worth it. Half the team quit. About seven out of fifteen because they didn't believe in the mission. And honestly, I had helped create that mood. Meetings got rough, people were loud, people criticized. Some well-known leaders in the building kept their distance because they didn't want their names attached to something they assumed would be a failure. And I remember hitting that wall where you think, okay, maybe this isn't going to work. So I went to the CEO, and I'll never forget what he told me. He didn't give me a perfect map. He didn't solve the problem for me. He said, Steve, you can figure this out. And then he said something that landed like a weight and a gift at the same time. The leader sets the tone. And I realized what he meant. Tone isn't a personality trait. Tone is vision. Tone is belief. Tone is the emotional thermostat of the room. And if I set the thermostat to disappointment, guess what everyone would feel? Disappointment. But if I set it to possibility, if I genuinely decided we could make this great, then I could change everything. So I did. I stopped focusing on what we weren't getting, and I started painting what we could create. And we got creative. We brought in Dickens carolers, roaming the halls so the sound of Christmas literally traveled through the building and drew people out. We did a Christmas tree decorating contest across the suites, so the crowd dispersed across the entire location instead of bottlenecking into one space. We used the cafe area for catering so people float in and out. We gave away prizes, we went big on decorations, and because we weren't paying for a huge venue and all the extras, we were able to send everyone home with a Christmas ornament. And something else happened as I shifted the tone. My people showed up, the HR director backed me, another leader stepped in. Volunteers came out of the woodwork. The team grew again, not because it was easy, but because belief is contagious. Your vibe attracts your tribe. And then the day of the event came. It was a huge success, the kind of success where people talk about it for days, the kind of success where the energy in the building surprises even the skeptics. And here's the part that taught me something I've never forgotten. The very people who distanced themselves before suddenly wanted to align themselves during the event. And they came up to me as the event was unfolding with wide-eyed enthusiasm and said something like, Wow, this is great. How can I help? Not because they suddenly became different people, just because success attracts attachment. And it showed me something about leadership that I think you need if you're leading anything right now. Some people will only clap once the crowd is already clapping, but your real people, they were with you before it was popular. They were with you when it was uncertain. They were with you when you were pushing into the windstorm. And the best confirmation came the next day. A group of about 50 project managers and leaders were in a training with an outside consultant. The consultant asked, Do you have a recent example of a project at your company that was done really well? And someone shouted out, The Christmas party Steve Klein put on yesterday. And the whole room broke into applause. Now remember, this wasn't my full-time profession at the time. I was just filling in. But here were about 50 project managers in various roles and departments clapping at my effort, and those on my team that made it happen. They were, in essence, acknowledging my leadership, and I remember thinking, wow, I'm so honored. I mean, these people did this day in and day out, and I now had so much respect for what they did on a daily basis. It taught me that leadership is more than just managing timelines and resources. It's also about faith, direction, and leading by example. So here's what I want you to take from this, especially if you feel like you're leading in the minority right now. First, if you're the leader, you don't just manage tasks, you manage tone. People borrow belief from you before they can generate their own. Second, if you start negative, you can recover, you can reset, but you have to own it. Because sometimes the biggest obstacle isn't the room, it's the leader's own posture. Third, find your people and lead with them. You don't need everyone, you need the right ones. And finally, don't be surprised when late supporters show up after success. Notice it, learn from it, but don't let it harden you. Just remember who was with you when it was hard. Here's your simple challenge for today. If you're leading anything at work, at home, in a volunteer role, ask yourself, what tone am I setting right now? And if it's doubt, apology, or dread, choose one sentence you're going to start saying that sets a different tone. Something like, we're going to figure this out, or this can be great, or here's what's possible. Because the leader sets the tone. Well, that's it for this episode. If you found value out of this episode, would you consider subscribing to the podcast? And you can also support us financially by going to our website, AmazingLifebreakthrough.com, or clicking on the link in the description below. And remember to live life to the fullest.