Becoming Burnham
A blended family, big feelings, mental health days, and grief that shows up uninvited. Becoming Burnham is messy, honest, healing, and very us.
Becoming Burnham
19 - Lunch is Your Problem Now
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Every parent hits that moment sometime in May where summer suddenly feels very close and very real and slightly terrifying. You've got the end of year chaos still happening, you're trying to figure out what summer actually looks like, and somewhere in the back of your head you know that the school schedule has been holding your life together and it's about to just stop. In this episode, Kristina and Kat talk through the real summer transition — what to do before school gets out, how to handle the logistics without overcomplicating them, and how to actually enjoy summer instead of just surviving it. Because underneath all of it summer is really good. And you deserve to be in it, not just managing it.
Okay. Hey.
SPEAKER_01Hi.
SPEAKER_02Welcome back to Friends with Benefits. I'm your host, Christina, and today I have Kat with me. Today we're talking about something every parent faces, whether they're ready or not. The end of school and the start of summer. It sounds simple. School ends, summer begins, but there's actually a lot happening in that transition for your kids, for schedule, and for you. So with this being the last few days of school, not even the last few months anymore. There was spirit days and then teacher appreciation and and today. Absolutely, yes. What do you do to get through that last stretch without dropping everything?
SPEAKER_01Um, I don't think that I have fully gotten through the last week of school. Any year my kids have been in school without forgetting some.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01This year we dropped field day. Didn't happen for us. I mean, Arch Archer went. Yes, but didn't have the family cheering him on. Yeah, no, we didn't go, which we went last year and the year before that. But we did make his award ceremony today.
SPEAKER_02Uh-huh. He got the good citizenship. Oh, good for him. Well, that's the one we dropped today because we knew that Davian wasn't getting uh like an award, like a grade-based award this time. Well, evidently he got a science award, and we didn't know that, so we missed the ceremony. So she invited the parents in. So we planned on being there for that, and then he was like, Oh, by the way, I got an award. Like, oh my god.
SPEAKER_01So was he sad?
SPEAKER_02I'm not sure. Well, he was just like, I didn't know I was getting one. I was like, I didn't know you were getting one either. I thought the teachers were supposed to like I know, like it wasn't like a four, like this was for this um special project he did. He got nominated to do something with Austin P. So I guess maybe that's where the award came from, and so they weren't tracking it or something. But yeah, that was our that was what we dropped. But I feel like typically this time of year, I've got lots of extra reminders on the calendar, like reminders for reminders, even. And one thing that always sneaks up on me is you know, I don't know if you do this, the oh, the places you'll go book, and you have people sign it, his teacher sign it. Okay. We did it with Draden all the way from preschool until fifth grade. And it was at that moment I said, I'm done now. So like we gifted it to him in fifth grade, and then if he wanted to do it in middle school, he could bring it in. And now we've been doing it with Davian, and it kind of is like that same sort of anxious feeling you get with Elf on the Shelf, but it's just a one-day, one year thing. But it's every year, so it sneaks up every year though. I just texted his teacher today and was like, Oh my god, I forgot the book too. So can I send it on and tomorrow, the day before the last day of school?
SPEAKER_01I mean, I think that that's fair. Yeah, they're not doing anything. I'm pretty sure they're wearing pajamas for the rest of the week.
SPEAKER_02Right. But I know that she probably gets lots of books to sign. As a teacher, I used to sign several too.
SPEAKER_01Actually, another thing that we missed this year, um, unless unless Sam did it, and I don't know about it, but I feel like she would have told me is I don't think we got him a yearbook.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's another one that does sneak up. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because so it was kind of funny reading through some of your stuff, and I was like, I can't wait to talk about this. Um, now that I don't have an elementary school child that's biologically mine, I am no longer included on any of the the parent like portals and stuff. Yeah. And I I like still I saved the email. It's like, you're just the stepmom. So like I don't get any of that, I don't get access. It's just Sam and Kyle. So if Sam or Kyle forgets something and we're parents, we all fall on something. I there's no checking up. Yes. Yeah. So yeah, we totally forgot his earlipons here.
SPEAKER_02Sometimes they have extras. Did you check with the front office? I did not.
SPEAKER_01I didn't even think about that.
SPEAKER_02It has happened to me before too, and I've gone up there in a panic, like, do you have any more extras? And I typically have like five. So you gotta be one of the first. Okay. I will they might be out by now, but yeah. It does, and it's hard to it's hard to track too because like you buy it in February or March, and then I completely lose track of it. And so then I hear them saying stuff like, you know, sometimes they'll send a message saying they have extras or whatever. And I'm like, well, now I have no idea if I even bought one. So it's easy to lose track of.
SPEAKER_01I have to say getting yearbooks was kind of like a I don't want to say a new experience for me, but sort of when I was growing up, my mom, I mean, we we we were not well off by any means. And so yearbooks was an extra expense that we just didn't do. And so we did get one eighth grade and we got one at high school graduation. Yeah. I don't believe I got any yearbooks in between.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Wow.
SPEAKER_01And at the same thing, I might have gotten a couple in elementary school, but like again, very, very few. Yeah. And I kind of did that with my kids. Yeah. I I got them one in kindergarten. I know that I got LO1 when she graduated from fifth grade, but for the most part, like I didn't do that. But Sam and Kyle are really big on having a yearbook every single year. And I'm just over here, like, oh, oh, that that is a thing for other like families, but I just never I never did because I didn't do it when I was younger.
SPEAKER_02And I well, they don't use them the same way we did. Like my kids never get them signed, and you know, that used to be a really big deal. Yeah, I have some from elementary and middle school too that everybody signed them, but now it's like they get it and they take it home and nobody signs it.
SPEAKER_01I think that's weird.
SPEAKER_02I know.
SPEAKER_01Because I mean, I felt really bad being the one left out. Yeah, I got to sign everybody's yearbook. Yeah, between my mind. Yeah, that is sad. A little bit. It's okay. Yeah. Maybe, maybe the the kids will do extra signing for me or something.
SPEAKER_02What do you do? Routine changes. Are you getting ready for any of that? Or does it just like all of a sud all of a sudden Thursday hits and you're like, oh, well, I guess we'll figure it out now. I'm sure you probably do some thinking ahead.
SPEAKER_01Well, so I mean, I am naturally a planner. I think that I might have mentioned that a few times. Yes. So meal planning and all that is something that I already do every single week. And if you've watched me, yes, separate all of my my meals for the week. But um I would say the biggest thing that I prep for, maybe, is just that he's gonna be here. Yeah. And so I almost have to like ready myself mentally that energy, yes, yeah, because work is going to take so much more because he loves, I don't know why, but he loves to start a conversation every time I'm like getting ready to go into a meeting. And so I'm not a hundred percent focused on him and all the things, and so that mental toll of having him here, and then for me, because I work from home, like even on Sam's week, like we don't put him in daycare for the week, he's just with me, so he's with me all the time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and yeah, that's a big difference.
SPEAKER_01Yes, it's so it's it's kind of like being a stay-at-home mom with the extra challenge of also working, working. And I'm like, man, I don't know how stay-at-home moms do it. Yeah. Child in your ear like 24-7. Yeah, it's gotta be really, really, really hard because I only have to do it for a couple months. Yeah, but like the added pressure of like, I also have a boss who expects me to, you know, do stuff.
SPEAKER_02Right. Yeah, you do have that expectation. I was trying to think about that too, like different things I could do to kind of get prepared for it, because it's the lunches for me that always sneaks up on me. You know, we kind of have our routine too for dinner, you know, what they eat for breakfast, but it's the lunch that they need to eat lunch every single day. And maybe they'll be at a summer camp this summer, maybe they won't be. Maybe they'll, you know, one of us might have the day off, or they might just be home for a couple days, but it's it's the lunch. So like I always think like, uh, what are those sandwiches, the uncrestables, you know, like having those on hand or burritos on hand, or you know, just things that they can feed themselves with if you know lunch sneaks up on us.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I have to say the best thing I have ever done for Archer was teach him how to make his own breakfast and lunch.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because he, I mean, when I first came into the picture, he he didn't. He would have been, yeah, little three. Yeah. Um, but like even as he got like older, he really like he's in the family, he's very spoiled. Yes. And everybody caters to him and and he loves it. But I taught him to make his own lunch because out of all the things that like there's a couple things about me that are weird in the sense of like how hard I plan and I'm very meticulous, but I will not make breakfast or lunch for my kids.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I I won't do it.
SPEAKER_02It's theirs to take care of.
SPEAKER_01Yes, like if you are hungry, go go get something. Like, I have things available that they can, you know, take care of themselves. But like if Archer comes to me at like three o'clock and he's like, I didn't eat lunch, I'm like, well, we're I guess we're gonna wait till dinner because it's too to eat like a full meal, like you can have a snack or something like that. But and I think again, probably because how I was raised, like we only ate when we were hungry, yeah. And so it's I don't know, we didn't like I didn't have meal times for everything, whereas he's generally like, it's noon, I need to eat.
SPEAKER_02Yes, he's very structured.
SPEAKER_01I think like he had to eat before we started because it's like it's dinner time at five o'clock and eating went me yet. And I'm like, really? But he's used to eating by about 4 30. And so it's five, like dinner's late.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. It's ridiculous. What do you keep on hand for their breakfast and lunch?
SPEAKER_00So we do eggos. Pretty cool. Breakfast sandwiches.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, we do those too.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, and he loves breakfast sandwiches any time of the day. And then I think they have a couple other ones that are.
SPEAKER_02I've seen like Alfredo ones or something like that, different flavors for that. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Even cereal, molin, all the little things and eye muscles in this house. I call it little bits. Yes. Oh, you mentioned this once. Yeah. You just have little bits of everything. And I count that as a meal. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And so if he can do that too, a little bit of cheese and a little bit of fruit. I love that. Like it's little bits.
SPEAKER_02I just bought some little containers that kind of look it's a little bit bigger than those uh Chobani, you know, the Chobani yogurt where you can pour over like little cookie pieces. Yeah, yeah. It's like that, it's a little bit bigger than that portion size though, and you can fill it with like cheese and pepperoni, or you can make your own yogurt, you know, flip sort of things.
SPEAKER_01So a what do they call it?
SPEAKER_02A snackle? Is it a snack? Made of, but it's only two, it's only two pieces, two compartments, and it has a lid, it's reusable. So yeah, I was thinking about I want to do some of those this summer too. Just kind of like prepare some grab and go snacks that have some of that variety in it. And yeah, just add to the options they have.
SPEAKER_01An adult lunchable?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Yeah. So what about your summer? Do you know what your summer looks like yet? Do you guys do camps and things, or is it pretty much just kind of hanging out?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, we don't do camps. I don't think any of be okay with like overnight camps. Yes. Day camps we would do if they had something that they were really interested in. Yeah. And really the only thing that the kids are in is wrestling. Yeah. And we have practice every four days a week. Yeah. And then we normally do a one-on-one as well. So they're already in wrestling five days a week. So I'm like, I don't feel like they need to do a camp on top of that.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Um, but I mean, I guess if we came across something that they really wanted to do, we would. But yeah, we just haven't found anything that anybody's really interested in.
SPEAKER_02I've noticed here, it seems like most of the camps are offered in June, and then there's hardly anything in July. So our kids have a few camps planned for June just so we don't have to take like three months off of work. July, I think, is when we're gonna take some of our leave to like do a family vacation or something. I don't know. I don't know where we're gonna go, but yeah, I hope to get a little bit of downtime worked in for myself as well.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I hope so too.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01We we do not, so we have not taken a summer vacation. This will be our second year in a row.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I mean, because we we do a vacation in December.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01And um we have the vacation time, but we just never like make it happen. Um, we the last time we went, we went in June to Panama City and that's when they had all the shark attacks. Oh yeah. And then after that, we nobody was asked to.
SPEAKER_02Well, now you have a pool too. We do have a pool. Wasn't that part of the plan too? Like now you can just kind of hang here. Yeah. Will this be the four this is the first summer? This is our first summer when it's done. Yeah, that'll be nice.
SPEAKER_01I mean it was really warm after it was done in like what September.
SPEAKER_02So, but like this is our but this is like a summer summer, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yesterday it feels really good.
SPEAKER_02Oh, that's nice.
SPEAKER_01Well, we have the heater, yeah. So it's it's I think it's gonna be at like 88 degrees. Oh, nice, that's really nice.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Do you have different expectations in the summertime? Screens, sleep schedule, chores, or is all that the same?
SPEAKER_01All of it's pretty much the same. Um, a little bit more relaxed. I would say I'm more relaxed. I'm a more relaxed parent in general over screen time.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I just I get it, but like I it's not that's not the battle I want to fight.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I would much rather Archer like eat the food that I cook him, yeah. Like clean up after himself than I mean, look at us. We're we're adults, and how much screen time do we get? And like that's just going to keep happening as our kids get older. So I think the expectation of like no screen time is I don't want to say silly because it's not. Yeah, everybody's yeah, but it's not for me. Yeah, it's just not the battle end.
SPEAKER_02But he's not on it all the time anyway. I mean, he's would he, yeah.
SPEAKER_01So during the summer, he'll he'll spend a lot of time doing screen time. He has had too much screen time. And you can normally tell because if you say Archer and his response is what? Oh, yeah, he gets smoked. Like a very specific way. I'm like, oh no, you've had too much because he just gets a little bit crankier. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, I'm like, nope, time for you to like go outside, get some sun, yeah, go touch grass. Yeah, like like get grounded, buddy. Yes, or or or get grounded. Yes. So yeah, that's I mean, not chores have to be done still. And in fact, I probably am more strict about chores because I'm like, you're here. So there's no reason for your room to be messy. Yeah. Or, you know, like I get it during the school year when you are coming, like you go to school eight hours a day, and then for my kids, you know, they're home for maybe 30 minutes and then we're off to wrestling four days a week. So when are they supposed to catch up on some of that, like the tidy, you know, hanging up? Um, so I would say during summer I'm actually harder on them about being because now we have all this time. And I keep the schedule.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because it's really hard to put them back in the schedule.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01And also, in all reality, like bedtimes, bedtimes are for me. Yeah. Like that isn't for like the kids, really. It's because I need some quiet.
SPEAKER_02Yep. And so well, and you're still getting up for work the next day, too.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02So if everybody's up all night long, that makes for a really rough morning the next day, too. I don't know if your kids get cranky, but mine do when they've been up late.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01They they really do. Yeah. And Archer is he'll he's an early riser. Not super, super early. Like he'll wake up at I mean, he will wake up at like 5 a.m. Over there. Yeah. So funny. But like here, he's he's generally like 7, 7.30. Yeah. But even for like for me, 7, 7.30 is is kind of early. Yeah. Because it is. I don't have to get out of bed until closer to 8. Yeah. When I start my day, and because I work from home. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I get to just you don't have the commute in there.
SPEAKER_01And it's just a lot easier. Yes. So yeah. I I do sleep in until the last possible minute. Yes.
SPEAKER_02I do too, even though mine's a lot earlier than yours. But like it's like I got it down to a science.
SPEAKER_01I am not a morning person.
SPEAKER_02Me either at all. I would much rather stay up late and sleep in.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02I'm I think I'd be way more functional that way too.
SPEAKER_01I think so.
SPEAKER_02I mean, I don't want to be like into 2 a.m., 3 a.m. that kind of stuff. But I liked I I still, even though I have to get up early, it is hard for me to go to bed before 10 or 11. Yeah. And I'm still getting up early. That's definitely. Yes. Because that's by that time, like everyone's in bed, everything's done. And I I'm just like, I can have my own thoughts, my own plans. It's like the only time of day that my everything in here belongs to me.
SPEAKER_01And then then you think of me.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And then I'm like, hey girl.
SPEAKER_01And I'm like, I'm at that.
SPEAKER_02It's either that or it's four o'clock in the morning when I can't sleep.
SPEAKER_01And I'm like, yeah, we have definitely before two. Yes. Because I'm also at three, four o'clock in the morning when I can't sleep because I've had my parametapause hot flashes.
SPEAKER_02Let's see. Is there anything else? We talked a little bit about food. Like I was saying, how food kind of catches me off guard. And for you, that's not necessarily a thing because actually, can you walk us through like what you do for your meal planning? Because I'm actually pretty fascinated by it. And I think it would be, I think it's just a great tip for people who are trying to get ahead of the summer too. You know, I just just walk us through your meal planning.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. And like how you do that for dinner. Okay. So I use every plate right now, but I've also used HelloFresh. I mean, there's so many different, you know, options out there. And I I get six meals a week, but we split them between the two houses. So we have two meals with four servings and then two meals with two servings each. And you pick that, right? Like that's not set. Okay. And so I mean, like you they they'll auto-pick it for you if you don't, but I I like to pick them because there are some meals in there that I like I know Archer will not touch with a two-foot pole. And then I so I sometimes they will send try to send me mushroom meals, and I'm like, no, but like delete. So I have to pick my own. Yeah. But I so I I get the box and I spread everything out.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And it's everything like whole limes and whole onions.
SPEAKER_01Well, I mean, down to like little packets, and then I I put everything into like a Ziploc bag, like a big freezer-sized bag with the with the recipe, and then it just is in my fridge, and I just grab the next one and I cook it that night. And all the meals are I mean, there's some that are like 45 minutes, but for the most part, it's about 30 minutes each.
SPEAKER_02I just think that's so perfect for like busy lives or you know, this this new routine that people are getting into in the summertime. Like we just can't deal with one more thing. Like it's ready. Your whole week is done.
SPEAKER_01So it eliminates, like, I don't have to meal prep. They've already pre-portioned and everything. Well, but not only that, like the plant, the actual like what am I gonna do? Yeah, yeah. Like, oh, like chicken and rice one more day this week. Yeah. Like, no, I I have all these recipe ideas. Then I don't have to go grocery shopping.
SPEAKER_02You don't even have to write a grocery list. Like, that's another thing that takes up a lot of that mental energy.
SPEAKER_01I don't have to do any of that. Yeah. And then like it's just so easy.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But the other piece that I really like about it is because it is, and in it, I mean, I have to say, out of all of the meal kits I've ever done, every plate probably is the closest on like it, if it says it serves four to do dinner, I can essentially like prep.
SPEAKER_02Oh, half of it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Yeah, yeah. So that Archer can have his beforehand, and then I can have mine and Kyle's or mine, Kyle and Kyle's ready for after wrestling.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because it looked like you had like maybe it was two chicken breasts in a vacuum-sealed package. Yeah. Two of those packages. So you could prepare the sauce or whatever and then do the chicken later. Oh yeah, I hadn't even thought about that.
SPEAKER_01Because it they they do it in increments of two.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01So if you're like if you're doubling it, yeah, you can cook half.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And then the other half.
SPEAKER_02That's so great. I just think it's genius.
SPEAKER_01And it makes my life a lot easier. Yeah. And it's not expensive.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01It really is.
SPEAKER_02Well, you got the whole week for what, 80 bucks or something?
SPEAKER_01I think it was.
SPEAKER_02That's crazy. A dinner. I mean, it was dinner just what six though, right? That's a lot. That's a lot. I think so. Do you typically end up with leftovers? Or I mean you said it's pretty much exact anyway. So then you don't have to worry about that either.
SPEAKER_01And so then you also, on top of the whole idea of like, I don't have to plan and I don't have to do grocery shopping. I also have very little to clean up, or you know, I'm not doing the whole, we put it in Tupperware and then throw it away a week later. Yeah. Like most people do. Yeah. So there's a little bit of waste, much less waste than the normal. And I like that as well.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I'm looking it up, man. I I just love it. In fact, if they're that easy to prepare, that's what I could do for lunches and put Drayton in charge of some of the prep work and everything. He could do, I think he could do it. Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Absolutely. Well, so the other thing that's really cool is they have like a like a shop kind of. And so they have even easier. Items and like casseroles and like different things. Yeah. And sometimes it's tacos and they'll send you like a kit. And I don't know, I don't know the pricing on that because I don't always get those. But I've done sandwiches, like BLT sandwiches and like different things like from there that are even easier than like the recipes, but those are perfect for lunches.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's a great idea. I love that. Okay, so we talked a little bit about that transition into summertime and how the kids are home all day and all of that stuff. There are times in the summertime that my kids just start going stir crazy. Like it takes a couple weeks in, you know, and then that stir craze hits, and then inevitably it's like storming for three days in a row. Do you have any of those, like, what do we do when the weather isn't cooperating things? Like, I don't know. I remember you and I went to the trampoline park one time. It wasn't, it wasn't during the summer months, and it wasn't a result of kids. Maybe it was a result of kids going stir crazy. I don't remember why we went. But is there anything else you like to do in the summertime when it's raining or when they've just been home for a really long time? How do you break up the monotony?
SPEAKER_01I mean, it is hard because like that is one thing that I think is really hard is you become like your children's entertainment like all the time. Like you're responsible for like making them have a plan.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, outside of like, oh, you're going to school and then you're going to wrestling. Like, oh, like you have to, I don't know, spend some time with your friends or like do something. We used to do a Clarkville Athletic Club. Oh, yeah. You can go to the pool for like five dollars, I think it is. Yeah. We have a membership, so we go for free. Yeah. But kids' programs for Archer. So there's there's plenty to do there.
SPEAKER_02And then just kind of built in with your membership.
SPEAKER_01And then we really like to walk them all. Well, I like to walk them all and I make them come with me.
SPEAKER_02Do they beg you to buy stuff?
SPEAKER_01Sometimes. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, okay, fine.
SPEAKER_02You walked with me.
SPEAKER_01It's fine. They walked with me at school. But I mean, it used to be to play in the play area, but like when Archer's getting too big. Yeah, but we have Dave and Busters now. Yes. So that is definitely a time killer. Yep. Um, City Forum. We like City Forum a lot. Trying to think of some of the other things that we would do when we're stir crazy.
SPEAKER_02Have you ever done the kids bowl free in the summer? Yeah, we've done that before too. One summer we did it. Yes. Yes, that's another one. Magic wheels. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, that's a great one. I don't trust myself on roller skates as much as I used to when I was young and spry, and it didn't hurt so much to fall. But my kids love it. They love to go there.
SPEAKER_01So Archer is not very good at roller skating, but at Magic Wheels, they have that whole like Oh, the jungle gym thing. Yeah. They had the arc key games too. So even Archer, who sometimes doesn't want to get on the actual rink, like there's something. There's something for him to do too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Um, also, you were talking about Clarksville Athletic Club, and um, I saw some page on Facebook the other day that had all kinds of free stuff for kids in the summer. And another one was kids, I can't remember if it was 12 or 14. It might have been 14 and up. They can work out free. And then we also like to go. Yes, he does. He's going running and swimming in the pool.
SPEAKER_01Ella has built for him this summer, so he's busy.
SPEAKER_02He is. I I have heard. Then and then come, but yeah, we do have to be his ride still. So and then the other thing we like to do too is the the free concert series down at the commons. Do you guys ever go? We've never gone together, but yeah, I've gone a couple times.
SPEAKER_01I also really like they do the same thing at like Beachhaven. Yes, concerts there. I think it's free though.
SPEAKER_02Sometimes it is, sometimes I think you're gonna get get a ticket or something.
SPEAKER_01But they do it at Beachhaven and then um old Glory sometimes. Yes. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Yep, they do the Julian pianos a lot. Outside it's so nice out there. Yeah, I love it. Yeah, so I'm all about well, you know who I'm married to, so we're all about the free entertainment that's available to because it does like we are doing the camps and stuff, and it does get very expensive. So I'm always excited when I come across something that's like free entertainment and family friendly.
SPEAKER_01Yes. Well, the one thing that I really like about well, Tennessee in general, but Clarksville is we do have, as much as it's a city, we do have quite a few things that are like outdoors. Yeah. So we can because we have the Dunbar. Yes, that's a cool place to go to. The um, what's what's that called the Greenway? The Greenway, that one, and then Rotary Park is really nice too.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01So it doesn't like if you want to do free outdoors. If you want to do free indoors, yes, like just have a little bit of everything that you can do. And I do like that a lot.
SPEAKER_02Yes, I agree. One thing I failed to mention was Drayton's obsession with fishing. So anywhere he can go where he can find like free fishing access, even in the neighborhood, there are like streams and rivers and stuff here that he likes. I think it was Draden had asked.
SPEAKER_01I was like, no, like that's somebody's backyard. You can't he does have permission. I think he's but I was like, they don't. I'm like, we're not like we're not sending a bunch of kids into somebody else's backyard to go fishing. And like, my kids don't fish, so they would just be there acting fools and being loud and obnoxious in somebody else's backyard. I was not about to do that.
SPEAKER_02Well, when they first started doing it, I didn't realize they had like asked permission. And I was like, no, you really you have to ask permission. They're like, we did, mom, we did. So I drive all the way down there and like get out of my car, make sure. I'm like, I just want to make sure this is okay with you. They're like, Yeah, they're fine. You know, they're so respectful, and you know, they never leave a mess back there. So I don't I don't think they stop and talk to people who live there anymore, but but they love it. They him especially Draden would finish fish sun up to sundown if he could.
SPEAKER_01I'm sure he would.
SPEAKER_02He would. He gets up earlier for that than school sometimes.
SPEAKER_01I don't think I will ever forget when I asked him what he was getting for Valentine's Day. He's like, a fishing pole. Okay. Is she like that?
unknownOkay.
SPEAKER_01I mean, she does now if she does. Well, I it was for him in the end, wasn't it? I think it was.
SPEAKER_02I feel like he told me he was getting her a fishing pole too. He didn't end up getting, I think we got her jewelry instead. He yes, he's I think he did take your advice. Yes, yeah, but no, because I thought what it was was he had some extra money, like he had just gotten 50 bucks or something.
SPEAKER_01Yes, and he bought himself a fishing pole. Yes, then he had no money.
SPEAKER_02Correct. That's what started it. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like he told me that he was gonna get her a fishing pole.
SPEAKER_02And I was just like, probably because when he bought the other one that he wanted, like he bought one at whatever that fishing place is. Hold on, hold on. So what's that big what's that big outdoor store up by Nashville? Like Bass Pro Shop. Yeah. So he went there and bought a brand new one that was pretty pricey. Well, then he saw on Facebook somebody was selling one, exact same fishing pole and everything with a reel. Like the other one was just the rod. So he took the one back that he had just bought, got this one on Facebook, and then the guy was like, Oh, hey, you want this? You can have this one too. So we ended up getting a twofer. Oh and I think maybe that's what he was gonna do. But you had had that conversation with him, and then he came to me and was like, Mom, I'd really like to get her a necklace or something. Can you help me pay for it?
SPEAKER_01I'm so glad he did this.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, it was it was a good idea, and she wore it for the eighth grade dance, and it matched her dress perfectly because she had like a burgundy dress, and this was her birthstone is what's on the necklace. It was perfect.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like so adorable.
SPEAKER_02I know. It was fun.
SPEAKER_01They're gonna be in high school next year.
SPEAKER_02No, it's crazy. I can't believe Ella's gonna be driving soon.
unknownWhat?
SPEAKER_02I don't know what's happening. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't like it. I mean, I do like it, but I don't like it.
SPEAKER_02Right. I feel like time should stop a little bit. A little bit, just slow down.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I have another question then about like summer prep stuff. Another thing that I've kind of learned the hard way to have ready is sunscreen and bug spray. Like that's something that we are constantly using throughout the summer. And I don't know how many years it took me to figure out that like it I needed it in a place that was easily accessible every summer. Otherwise, it's like, where's the sunscreen? Where's the sunscreen? And we went one summer where I swear we were buying it every single time we went to the store because it just kept, it's like an umbrella. It just kept walking off. Like you'd put it in their swim bag and then we never got it back, or you'd put it in the car console and then I don't know what happened to it. The car ate it or something. I don't know. But sunscreen and bug spray for us are like the two things we need every single summer, and I like to have it easy and accessible. Anything, anything like that for you in the summer months?
SPEAKER_01So we are probably not the best at sunscreen, honestly. So easy, like they do not burn. Yeah, and so we sometimes forget that they don't burn. Kyle will get a little bit pink and then he tans, and I'm about the same way, and so is Ella. Yeah. Um, she probably burns the easiest, and she really doesn't. Yeah. And so we're not that great with sunscreen. It's not good for your skin, and I know that. And so I what I do, I'm almost the opposite. I will go and buy 20 bottles of sunscreen and I stash it in like different things. So you always have it. Yes, that I can find it. But I did discover um the stick yes screen. And so everybody has like a stick sunscreen like in their room.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And they can put it on the face.
SPEAKER_02So that's I do like that. I like the feel of that better than I really don't like the feel either of the sunscreen. I think it's all in your rings. You don't take your rings off.
SPEAKER_01I use the spray sunscreen. Yeah. If I'm gonna do it, that's what it's gonna be. The bug spray is a great idea for when we go out because um Archer and I, we get like bitch.
SPEAKER_02Yes. And they have this thing, like no seums or whatever they are here that'll come out at like dust. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Oh my god, they hurt so bad.
SPEAKER_01I do. I didn't know what they were called.
SPEAKER_02The ones that look like little ash. I don't even know what they look like. Yeah, I don't know what they are, but that's what the neighbor was calling them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they have like these little ones that look like powdery kind of looking.
SPEAKER_02I have seen those too.
SPEAKER_01Those ones hurt too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, I don't know what those are.
SPEAKER_01Like if he gets bit somewhere where like he doesn't have a lot of skin. Yeah. I remember he got bit behind the back of his ear once and it's it swelled up and it bruised really bad. Like it's bright purple.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So we do we actually have our yard sprayed regularly because we just we can't do it. Yeah, and I that's also you know not great, but I I'm like, yeah, we're we're bruising and welcome. I know, yeah. We have to have something because that is one thing. We get a lot of mosquitoes and buggies because of all the water that's around us, even the ticks, like we've that's been really bad this year.
SPEAKER_02I think we've found like four or five on Davian, and he has not been out in the woods or fishing like Drake. I don't know if the dogs are pulling him in and he's just like rubbing on the dog. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I don't know where it's coming from, but do you remember the first time that we had like a really serious conversation?
SPEAKER_02It had to do with the tick, right?
SPEAKER_01Because I didn't even like pick, I picked him up, I was watching him or something after school.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, maybe it was one of those days when the weather was bad, so we came home with you.
SPEAKER_01And he was like, I had I had a tick, and the teacher wouldn't take it out, and he was so mad the teacher wouldn't take it off of him. So he was like, they let him go home. They let him go home with a tick on him, and you were like, Oh yeah, that's normal. And I was just like, What? No, they're supposed to take it off, but I took it off for him.
SPEAKER_02You did take it off for him, and yeah, because that's just that's just me. I know it's just sitting there sucking his blood the whole time.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like hours. Ew.
SPEAKER_02Ugh. Yeah, I'm sure there's a reason. There's probably been some lawsuit. Some teacher took it off and left the head in or something. I don't know. But yes, I do remember that. I was like, oh good, thank you, because I hate those. I hate it so much. Didn't mind. I was just like, I just can't believe.
SPEAKER_01I just can't believe that's just walk around with a tick on his head.
SPEAKER_02I know. But yeah, that's why like I'll try to keep a bug spray, not normally, but in the summertime, I'll try to keep one of those little bug sprays in my purse because when we go to the commons or you know, old glory or wherever for those concerts, every single time those bugs come out at like dusk and it does hurt. You can't stand them. And then I told you about those little containers. I was trying to do that too, get better about those grab and go snacks and like ones with protein because Debian will just like eat a whole box of crackers, yeah. Otherwise, you know. Let's see, different households. So, what does summer look like when you're balancing the different households? Still pretty same old, same old, or is there a shift over there? I mean, they're working too all summer.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, they work all summer. And so Archer is with me most of the time. So and I I think everybody is kind of like, whatever mommy cat says is what's gonna happen because she is the one who's gonna be spending so much time with you. Yeah. I do know that he gets a little bit more relaxed at Sam's house during the summer. Like I know she doesn't care as much about bedtime being as strict, and I don't know about the chores. I want to say that she's a little bit more relax on that as well during the summer. Uh-huh. But yeah, I'm kind of the one that gets to be in charge because I have to put up all day.
unknownAll day.
SPEAKER_02Where does your, or maybe when, I don't know if it's where or when, where does your patience run out the fastest during the summer? Is it, is it during those hours where you're trying to balance all the kids at home and work, or is it after you have already like tried to navigate all of that?
SPEAKER_01I would say it probably is during work hours, just because it's really hard to try to balance a kid talking in your ear while you're, you know, I'm trying to use brain power to actually like figure out a situation, especially if I have something that happens in my role. Like, I don't want to say I'm not important, but like I'm not like an important person. Like I am a doer and operational. And so what I do doesn't impact a lot. Yeah. Every now and then a situation will come up that is really impactful and does require some thought and some research and and different things. Some like just last week I had to talk to legal about and if I'm not in it, like if I'm not thinking about stuff, things like that could potentially slip through the glass or something like that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, you can make a mistake.
SPEAKER_01Or I just can't figure out what the solution is because I've got this kid like talking to me. Yes, and he really does. I don't know what it is. I think he hears like the ping of my like teens when I'm getting like a call and he's like, Oh, perfect. Time to go. Talk to mom right now. He used to be so bad that everybody like knew him. Yeah. So everybody would be like, Hey French. Yeah. Uh-huh. What's going on? Did you do this?
SPEAKER_02So much. So then practical tips. I don't know if you're if his backpack is coming home, like my kids' backpack, all sorts of things are coming home: workbooks, worksheets, report cards, all this kind of stuff. What do you keep and what do you toss? You toss everything?
SPEAKER_00Pretty much.
SPEAKER_02I guess we're not even getting report cards anymore because it's all digital. So that's not even something in there.
SPEAKER_01So I will go through and any of his like really nice artwork I can save. And then I have I have these the picture frames that open. Oh, the like the Picasso frame or something. I can change it. Yeah, and you can also, it stores pictures as well. Yes. So I just have that, and then once it gets full, I put them down. But I mean, it sounds terrible, and I guess this is a a dark thing, but like we lost everything, you know. So none of that, and some people might think like, oh, then that must make you more sentimental. It actually does the opposite. You realize you realize oh, none of that stuff really mattered. And so I think I actually fold on to less now than I used to. Yeah. Because, well, I mean, for starters, I lost 36 years worth of, you know, things everything. Yeah. And so I'm not holding on to, you know, this random math test that he taught a 75% financial thing.
SPEAKER_02Damien came home with all his workbooks, like a social days workbook, a math workbook, an ELA workbook, like all these workbooks.
SPEAKER_01And I was just like, I do have to be um I don't want to say courteous, but cautious, I think is a better word because Sam does like to save certain things. And so I do try to make sure that I separate like things that she might actually save versus like what really is going in the trash. And so that way she can go through it and decide if she wants to keep missing. And she likes to keep the workbooks. Yeah, really?
SPEAKER_02Did do they work on them in the summer? I don't believe so.
SPEAKER_01But she has just in case. Like she has lots of them. And she, I think her mom is the one who buys them, but I think he gets extra workbooks for the summertime, but I've never spent one of them. Just in case.
SPEAKER_02I mean, do you have anything on your summer bucket list?
SPEAKER_01Um I can't think of anything on honestly, it's hot. It's really hot. And so I don't actually love to do a ton of stuff during the summer. Yeah. Because it's really it is hot.
SPEAKER_02It gets so hot here.
SPEAKER_01It does. So if I get to swim, I don't know, once a week and like float around in my pool and just relax in it, that I would say that's that sounds glorious.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Like that is probably my goal. Yes. Once a week I get in the pool.
SPEAKER_02I like that. What about books? Are you do you have any, do you want to read any books this summer or me?
SPEAKER_01I need to, I need to finish my series and I already have my next series uh picked out. Okay. So I'm reading, what is her name? Really dirty, dirty, smut books, like intense. Yeah. It's so good though, like one of the series, and it's I I literally had to take a break. Yeah. Because I was just like, this is wild. Yeah. The things that are happening are wild. So that's that's what I do need to read that book. Yeah. And so maybe I'll do that next to the pool. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Take a dip if it gets too hot. Well, before we go, I just want to say I know summer can feel like a lot from where we're standing right now. End of school is so busy, it's easy to get caught up in figuring out the logistics, sometimes so much so that you forget what you're actually getting ready for. And really, what you're getting ready for is good. Like genuinely good. Slower mornings, kids who aren't running on empty from a full school week, nights that stretch out long enough that somebody ends up chasing lightning bugs in the backyard way past bedtime. Somebody's idea to drag blankets outside and sleep under the sky or maybe just cuddle for a little while. The stuff that doesn't make it onto any of our lists, but ends up being what everybody talks about years later. That's what's coming. So do enough to set yourself up, get the plan, figure out the schedule, handle the things that need handling, and then get out of your own way and let summer do what it does. You've got this. We'll see you next week.