How to Stop Running on Autopilot and Take Back Control

If you feel like you’re stuck repeating the same habits, this episode will change how you see it.

In this episode, I break down how your brain actually works, from your Reticular Activating System (your internal filter) to dopamine and serotonin, and how they drive your daily behaviours.

I also share a simple but powerful tool the 3-second pause — to help you interrupt patterns, stop reacting on autopilot, and start taking back control.

This isn’t about more discipline.
It’s about awareness and learning how to work with your brain instead of against it.

Watch along on YouTube here

Find me on instagram @samanthagreen.tgh @alignedandunfilteredpod 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello and welcome to Aligned Unfiltered. This is the podcast where we speak honestly about what it really takes to build a life and a business that aligns with the future version of you, the one that you keep saying that you're going to be. I expect self-help apps and tools to be able to help you bridge the gap from where you are now to where you want to be. Let's get started. Hello and welcome back to Aligned and Unfiltered. Whether or not you are watching or listening, I am so glad to have you here. So in last week's episode, we spoke about your nervous system and how to start to control how you're feeling and how to not be so affected by everything that's going on around us. And that has led me to today's episode where we're going to delve in a little bit deeper into your brain chemistry. And this is something that I have been doing a lot of work on at the moment behind the scenes and learning about. And I just really wanted to share this with you because I thought it was so interesting, so valuable. And it can really be something that when you master it and you learn about it and you realize what's going on inside your head, then you can start to make decisions a bit more consciously and also be able to make the decisions that are going to get you closer to achieving your goals. So if you are somebody who naturally does a lot of things on autopilot, whether that be picking up your phone, getting a chocolate bar out of the fridge, driving your car, and you're not actually consciously thinking when you're doing it, you're just in this autopilot mode, then this episode is going to be so good for you because it's going to be able to make you realize where you are sitting in autopilot a lot in your life and where you can start to gain back a bit of control and stop doing the things that aren't getting you any closer to your goals and start doing the things that are. So, as I said in last week's episode, your brain isn't working against you. Its main job is to keep you safe and make things efficient, not to make you successful and not to make you happy. Its job is just to look after you and keep you safe. It makes things familiar and easy. And it's just wanting to go by day by day at a nice glacial pace. It's not particularly, your brain isn't bothered whether or not you hit that target of hitting a certain amount of sales or you hit that weight that you want to get on the scale. The brain just wants you to be safe. I'm gonna keep keep saying that because that is something that we have to remember. And it's amazing that our brain does that for us. But when we have goals and we have ambition and we want to change the way that we're doing things, we have to be able to start changing the way that our brain thinks to be able to get onto a different path, to be able to make new decisions. So what your brain does is it builds patterns and runs them on repeat. So, for example, if you find that you go for a walk every day, but you walk the same route every day, try and try and just take a different route. Try and just turn left when you always turn right. And something in your brain will go, no, because we always turn right, why are we why are we gonna go left? And for a split second, your brain will be thinking, we're in danger, we're in danger, we shouldn't be going this way, we always go this way. When actually, once you do turn left and you get five minutes down the road, you will feel a lot better and you will realize, oh wow, I've been able to do that, I've broke that pattern. Now, that is something so minute into what we are talking about today, but it's a very small example of how you can start to change the way that your brain thinks and the patterns that you actually have in your brain and your daily routine every day without even realizing. I noticed this myself the other day, right? I love a Kit Kat. A Kit Kat is my like chosen chocolate of choice, right? But what a Kit Kat doesn't do for me is it doesn't align with my goals of wanting to be healthy. It doesn't make me feel particularly good because I can get a bit of an intolerance when it comes to dairy. It doesn't make me feel great, it doesn't make my skin glow, like it just doesn't really do a lot for me. But what it does do is it gives me that validation and rush when I have it of like, I deserve this, I've had a hard day, I should have this Kit Kat. And there's definitely a lot of like language around having a treat that we all give ourselves. And very much like what I just said, I've had a hard day, I deserve this. I've eaten really well today, so I should have a treat. It's a Friday, it's a weekend, whatever it is, we talk ourselves into it. But when I see a Kit Kat in the fridge, in my head, I'm just like, oh yeah. And I don't even think it through. So the other day I see a Kit Kat in the fridge, and before I know it, I've taken it and I've eaten it. I wasn't hungry when I had it. I was having it really late at night when I actually didn't need to have anything at that time. Like I've just said, I wasn't even hungry. But my natural reaction when I saw one was just to have it because that's what I my pattern is. My pattern is to see something like that in the fridge and then just have it, not even consciously think about it when I'm eating it, whether or not I'm enjoying it. I've eaten it, and then 10 minutes later I'm thinking, oh, have I finished that? Like it's a non-left. Like, and I was so on autopilot while I did it that I didn't even enjoy it or get any real benefits from having it. What I want to teach to you today is if there is something in your life that you are doing on autopilot that doesn't get you to your goals, then we are going to learn exactly why you do that thing and how you can start to change it. So there is part of your brain called the reticular activating system. Now that may be a little bit fancy, but what it actually means is this is the internal filter of your brain. There is so much information around you all the time that what the that part of your brain does is it will decide what information actually matters. It will do that based on what you focus on. So if you are constantly focused on stressful situations, upsetting situations, bad things that are going on around you, then it's going to start to show you more of that. If you start focusing on opportunities, happiness, positivity that's going on around you, it will start to show you more of that. And you will start to notice that instead. Nothing outside has actually changed. Just your brain is choosing what to highlight. So have you ever had a situation where you were going to buy a new car and all of a sudden you see that car everywhere? Just because you decided to buy that car doesn't mean that that company have just put hundreds of more cars on the road for you to see. Those cars were already there. But all of a sudden, you have put that thought to the front part of your brain and said, I want this car, I am thinking about this car, so show me this car without even realizing that is what you're doing. You all the time you're driving around and all you see is that car. And that is exactly what is happening in your brain with everything. So, if, again, as I just said, if you're thinking about negativity, if you're thinking about stressful situations, if you're thinking about hardship, then that is what you're going to be shown every day. If you're thinking about positive stories, if you're thinking about good things, then that is what you're going to be shown more of. It's also like we say it now, don't we, where we talk about things in front of our phone and then we go on our phone and then it flags up with an ad for that thing. And it's kind of like that, but inside your brain. And the more that you start to realize that and just become aware of it, you can really change the things that you're thinking about and the way that you are directing your energy. Because honestly, the more you are directing your energy to the negativity and to the things that you don't want to see, the more you're going to see them. So if you are doing that at the moment, just become aware of it. That's the first step, is just literally become aware of it. And then what you can start to do is if somebody is telling you a negative story, you can try and find the positives in it. You can think, wow, I'm so grateful that didn't happen to me. I am so happy for that person in getting out of that really toxic situation. And rather seeing it as a toxic situation, see the positive side that this person has come away from it. There is always a way that you can find a positive in a situation. I genuinely really believe that. And I know some things are really, really hard, but we can always find a light. And the more that you try and find that light, the more you're going to be shown it, which is then going to trickle down into the rest of your life as well. Now let's talk about what actually drives your brain's behavior. Dopamine is a chemical that makes you want something. It's the hormone that gets released before you do the thing. So it's not going to let you enjoy it, it's just going to make you want it. It's released in anticipation, and that is why you feel the urge to check your phone, eat something before you've even done it. It's the chase. Whereas serotonin is different. That is the one that is linked to feeling calm, feeling stable, feeling content. And you don't get serotonin from quick hits. You get serotonin from things like movement and sunlight and connection and doing something that you're really proud of. So most people are stuck in this loop of chasing dopamine and wondering why they still don't feel good. But it's because they're taking the snack when they really want it and it's not then leading to their full-time goals. They are sat scrolling on Instagram for hours or however long it is, and that is not making you feel good. It's avoiding those hard conversations. It's avoiding showing up in the way that you want to. Even just avoiding saying something, that can be your dopamine. And what actually we really want to chase is the serotonin. So going for long walks, having some more connection and movement and just sunlight, being outdoors. And I understand if you are, you know, somewhere that doesn't have a lot of sunlight, that can also be really hard. But even just the movement and the connection can really lead to long-term benefits of how you feel better. You feel better, you're going to show up better, you make better decisions, kind of all in turn. So why you keep repeating the bad habits? Every time you repeat a bad habit, your brain forms a pathway. And the more you do it, the stronger it gets. So think of it as a bridge. And the more that you do something, another step gets added onto this bridge. And the more that you repeat it, the easier it is to walk over that bridge. So eventually it just becomes automatic. You don't even think, you just do. And that is why habits are so hard to break, because your brain has practiced it so many times. And habits we've spoken about before. Habits can be, you know, as simple as brushing your teeth, but you naturally just do it without even thinking. And that is what has started to happen to so many of us when it comes to scrolling on our phones or overeating or avoiding conversations or just thinking very negatively, thinking worst case scenario instead of best case scenario. It's so easy to do. And the more you do it, the easier it is to just continue doing it. To change this, you don't have to change your life overnight. You just have to change the pattern. The next time you feel the urge to do anything, just pause for three seconds. The next time you think about just opening your phone and just scrolling, just pause and wait for three seconds. Ask yourself, do I really want this? Is this gonna get me to where I want to be? And by taking those three seconds, you're coming back into your full consciousness and realizing exactly what it is that you're about to do. Do I really want to sit on my phone at 11 o'clock at night and doom scroll for an hour? Chances are probably not. Do I really want to go to bed at 2 a.m. when I could have gone to bed at 9 p.m.? Probably not. Because in that moment where you give yourself the three seconds to really think about it, you are stepping out of autopilot and it turns into the conscious decision. And that is where you're gonna regain your power, regain your control of exactly what it is that you're doing every day, and stop doing the things that aren't getting you to where you want to be and start moving to the goals that you're trying to achieve. Now, I'm not saying here that you can't have treats and you can't just sit on your phone aimlessly. I'm not saying that at all. But what I am saying is you might be doing it more often than you realize, and by doing that more often than you realize, it's not helping you long term. I am not sitting here and saying that I'm never gonna have a Kit Kat again. Of course I am. But am I gonna have one four times this week now? No, because I've taken it upon myself to sit and think each time that I'm gonna go and do it. Do I actually want this? Is this gonna benefit me? And the answer more often than not is no. And sometimes it might be yes, and that is absolutely fine as well. But it's just really, really important to take that three seconds, think about what it is that you are just doing on autopilot and not actually doing because you want to do it, to start to rewire your brain. Every time that you do pause, you don't strengthen the old pathway, you start to create a new one, and it might feel small, but it's not. It's just a sm a bigger movement that you realize, but it's gonna start to stop this pathway and create the new one. And before you know it, that new pathway has been formed and those new decisions become a habit. They become easy to do, they become effortless, they don't become a struggle. But I'm sure everybody has experienced it before where you go to the gym and you pick up the weights and they're so heavy and you think, oh my god, this is so hard. And then if you consistently start going, those weights become light, they become easy because you've trained your body, you've trained your mind to be able to do that that you hadn't done before. And honestly, your brain is exactly the same. And over time, what used to feel automatic won't anymore. So, me going to Doom Scroll on my phone, all of a sudden I'm just not gonna think to do that. I'm gonna think to do something else because I've started to create this new pathway of this new routine that I do, of this new thing that I do. And for me, actually, a big thing was if we're talking about scrolling on phones, I turned off my Instagram notifications because I was finding that I was just constantly going on there because I was constantly getting notifications pop up. So I just turned off the notifications and then it just stopped me from going into it. I deleted the Facebook app from my phone because I never you I never really used Facebook. I didn't post on it, I just had it and I didn't need to be on it. So I just deleted the app. I still have an account there, but I just deleted the app so that then it stops me from going on it. So it's starting to look at what are the things that you're doing, for example, on your phone, that are you're not even consciously doing, you're just doing it for the sake of it and release the habit. Stop yourself, find a way that you can turn that into something positive instead. With all of this in mind, I really hope that you have found something in here that you are thinking about something in your own personal life that you are doing on autopilot that you can now claim back some control over. Please let me know exactly what it was. I'll be really, really interested to know because everybody's gonna have something different. I'm talking about a Kit Kat over here. Yours might be smoking, it might be eating in your car, it could be anything that you are just naturally doing on autopilot and you don't even realize it. But first things first, see the pattern, start to change it, and then eventually you will eliminate that pattern and start to see more good things that are going on around you every day because you really can shift your focus into something better than you are right now. See you next week. All the details of how you need to find me are all down below. And I really hope you enjoyed it, and I will see you soon. Bye.