S2 | E11 Krissi Marie — Do It Before It Becomes Regret

Sometimes one small moment can wake you up to the life you’ve been quietly living.

For Krissi Marie, it was a 40-degree day, two kids in the back of the car, and the realisation that she had spent years putting herself last.

Krissi shares about identity, motherhood, divorce, end-of-life planning, creativity, imposter syndrome, and choosing a rich, full life on your own terms.

She also shares the story behind Dying to Tell You, and why talking about death can be a loving gift to the people we leave behind.

Her message is simple:

✨ Do the thing.
✨ Do it scared.
✨ Do it before regret gets louder than the fear.

Get to know more about Krissi:
https://www.instagram.com/um___life/

If you have loved today’s episode, please share this with a friend. ❤️

About Lara Portelli:

As a successful business owner, NLP Practitioner, Midlife Reset Mentor, acclaimed award-winning author, and seasoned professional, Lara understands the challenges of navigating careers, business, and personal growth. She now channels her expertise into mentoring women through midlife and into their bodacious second act, helping ambitious women step into their power and build success on their own terms.

Connect with Lara:

https://www.laraportelli.com/
https://www.facebook.com/laraportelliglobal
https://www.instagram.com/lara_portelli_global/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Midlife Unplugged, the fuck it years. I'm your host, Lara Portelli. This is the space where we strip away the polite big X. Rip the gloves off and get real about what it means to thrive in our second act. Each week I'm joined by a guest who's walking their own fedacious midlife path. We're talking menopause, divorce, reinvention, and everything in between. Buckle up, because this isn't your mother's midlife crisis. This is Midlife Unplugged. Hello and welcome back, everybody, to another episode of Midlife Unplugged the Fuck It Is. I'm your host, Lara Portelli, and today we have another fellow Aussie that we're chatting to. Welcome, welcome, Chrissy Marie, all the way from the Central Coast, uh lovely central coast in Australia. Welcome, Chrissy Marie. Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. You're so excited. I can feel the vibe. It's amazing.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

Happy to be alive, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:00

I know. With the current uh climate, you know, just a bit of doom and gloom. So uh you're my personality is needed, I think, uh, on the days where it's a bit doom and gloom. So welcome to the show. Welcome, thank you. Um, so Chrissy, I'd like to start and kick off the first question I'd like to for us to chat about is the show is called uh midlife unplugged the fuck it use for a reason because I believe uh, especially for women, you and I just had a brief chat about before we went on about women's empowerment. Sorry, uh empowerment. And um one of the questions we chat about a lot on this show is fuck it moment. And you know, when we have that that light bulb moment um where we say fuck it enough of what I'm doing. And I noticed you talk about you had a time where you were in the car with two feral kids, as you were saying. You were watching your ex-husband play cricket, and um that you that was one of your you said you've had many over your years, over your lifetime, but that was one of the tell us a bit about that, please, Chrissy.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

It really was. It was my first fuck at moment, and I I have had many others sort of since. Uh, but it was I had started studying, so I was in my second year of university studies, and I was doing a subject called sociology, and I had to do this assignment about women's roles in society. And so I was reading this book called The Sacrificial Mother, and there was a particular passage that spoke about having the last pickle in a jar, and that as mothers, we often would give the last pickle to everyone else. We would never even consider giving ourselves the last pickle. And it was a 40-degree day. These two kids were bouncing around the back of this car. I was watching, watching cricket, like, ugh. Uh, and I just started crying. And that was my first sort of cosmic tap on the shoulder to go, darl, everything's not okay. Like, what are you doing? And that really set my life on a trajectory of questioning so many things, questioning my role, questioning my function, questioning what I was doing for me and what I liked and what who even was I? So it was this amazing catalyst for um for a journey of self-discovery. And so that was kind of, I was in my late 20s at that point. I then went on another journey through my 30s, and and I I feel like I'm in the third act of my life now in my mid-40s. Uh, and I I get really excited by it because I think that uh we're even I get excited talking about being divorced. Like I, for me, um, that's not something that we should be shying away from. It's not something that should be shameful anyway, because it's all part of our beautiful journey and uh and it's absolutely part of mine. But I I just got to a point where I was going, again, who am I? Is this it? Like, is this is this my beautiful, rich life? And is this how I'm going to spend it? Uh so it got me asking the question in the first instance, like and and that led me to go, you know what, fuck it. I I don't actually want to be married to this person, and they didn't quite frankly want to be married to me either, um, as I was in that form. Uh, and yeah, the rest is is history, so to speak.

SPEAKER_00 4:08

And I like how you reference that cosmic tap on the shoulder. I know I for whatever people, for our audience at home, for that mum who's out there now, or that grandmother, because a lot of people can be a midlife and be a grandmother. Whatever you call that, whether it's gut feeling, tap on the shoulder, spirit, source, thought, whatever it is for you in your life. For myself, I I guess it was that uncomfortabless that was happening for a while, and that I don't feel good in my life, and I kept pushing it down, pushing it down. This will do, this must be whatever I need to stay true to my to my my marriage stuff. Yeah. And I think we get a lot of uh we get a lot of those taps that we ignore them. And we just no, it'll be right. This is what do I need to do? And I think women do it a lot more. And I think for you it happened quite early. Would you agree with that at 27? I mean, it was 50 for me.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

Yeah, well, I I was a young mum as well. And so I uh I was 20 when I had my first my first baby, and I had gone from being a very cocky, I dare say, teenager to being uh a bit of a frumpy mum. And and so that was sort of the first stages of my identity being eroded or shifting. Uh, and I thought that to be a good mum, you had to give up all that stuff. You couldn't be yourself, you you couldn't um have needs or wants or interests. And if you did, they had to come dead last to everything else that your children, your partner, your parents, your family, society expected of you. Uh, and so again, I I was lucky. I I used to refer to it as my quarterlife crisis. Uh, but uh, and and it could well be. Um, I think that it a little bit of an identity crisis every decade or so is probably a really healthy thing for us because it means that we're self-aware enough to kind of go, oh, is this working for me? Or is this where I want to be? Is this who I want to be hanging out with or sharing my life with? And is this the legacy that I want to be leaving uh when I'm no longer here? So I think it's great to be questioning that. It can be messy as heck. Uh it's like it's it's like a roller coaster, but I think that it's very necessary. And for us to get to this amazing point, like I look now in my mid-40s and go, I would not have recognized this person in my 20s because I was too afraid to be this person. Uh again, because it was all of the voices, the society and the expectations and the all the shoulds. You shouldn't do that. You should want that, you should be happy being a stay-at-home mum. And and I I wanted more. I again I want to squeeze every last drop out of this beautiful life. And I feel like this is the first time now. Um, and there's a little bit of regret sometimes. I think, oh, I if only I had been able to get here earlier. But I'm done with that because I think we have to weave our own little beautiful path so that we learn all the things and we do all the things and we make the mistakes and we we learn the lessons along the way.

SPEAKER_00 7:08

I agree, I agree totally. And I was just thinking while you were talking there, you know, where does this really come from? Little girls and you know, I guess boys play with crams and dolls and T-secks too. So we can't really tend to stereotype that. But for most of you know, generally speaking, we're taught to give, we play with dolls growing up and things like that. So I think women are taught to give, and as you say, we just give and give and you you referenced it yourself beautifully um a little bit ago about the pickle or the burnt chop syndrome, as we you know, for people at home that are listening now and interacting with a child on your hip or whatever you might be doing, or sitting down at nine o'clock or a coffee in the morning wherever you might be in the world. If you haven't heard of it, there's such a thing out there as burnt chop syndrome. And Chris may reference it. You know, we'd sooner give someone else the last pickle in the jar or the last piece of the chop than have it ourselves. Where does this come from? And it's not just always women. Men do it. Yeah, men do it too. It's probably part of being an empathetic human. So yeah. Um, so the other thing I want to talk to you about, Chris Mary, that I found really interesting was to-do subjects because you know, I think society's shifting away from the crude conversations and things like that. Um, you know, we're we're getting better. Um, but one thing I like that you talk about um to do is death. Your two to do subjects is death and end of life planning and how we skirt around it a little bit. We don't tend to like to talk about it a bit thick and a bit yuck, and it gives people the ick. But can you tell us where what you do in your business pretty much and uh um where what you do about death and end of life is that part of your business?

SPEAKER_01 8:58

It it's not actually, it it comes from personal experience. And um, so when I uh I remarried, there is a happily ever after to my divorce story, uh, and my mother-in-law had a catastrophic stroke and passed suddenly uh a few years ago. And we I think we're all guilty of thinking that we are all we're we're gonna live forever. We're bulletproof, uh, you know, and and even as mums, it's we give and give and give, and we never think that maybe we there might come a time when we're not there to give. So it was really the the passing of my mother-in-law that was this again a light bulb moment in in my world to kind of go, well shit, like we're we're all mortal, um, we're gonna end at some point. And saw my my husband, who's an only child, struggle through the process of navigating the practicalities of death. Um, you know, even having the beautiful hordes of photos that we don't know who's in the photos and that kind of stuff. So it really, yeah, it really lit this uh fire inside of me to go, well, let's start talking about death. Let's start talking about it what our end of life would look like, what we can and cannot live without or what we do and don't want to live without. Um, but also the the stuff that we have surrounding us. Like we seem to spend a lifetime accumulating stuff, but then when we pass, nobody really knows what that stuff means to us or why we've kept it for 30, 40, 50 years. Um, and so that then uh launched a book, which is the I've been dying to tell you book. And it's a templated book. Yeah. So it's it's like a QA or a templated book where basically you get to fill in what your end of life and your funeral, your farewell looks like. So, and that's to have it it is, it's to have a really practical um tool to be able to inspire conversations with loved ones. Uh, again, to break that taboo, to kind of go, it's and I still appreciate there's many cultures where it is something that that we don't talk about. But I think for um most Australians, it's something we need to get better at talking about because none of us get out of here alive. Um, but also it's one of those no one gets a say in when that might happen. And uh I particularly as a parent, I think we have a massive responsibility to our children, to our loved ones, to give them that gift of knowledge and that gift of knowing that because even that, we we drove ourselves crazy thinking what songs would she like, what passages or readings would she like? So it was even down to those things, but also the well, who takes care of the phone bill or you know, who's the electricity with? And um, so it's it's really about being able to get comfortable with those types of conversations around both our quality of life at the end, um, but it's then also when we pass what that looks like, but having in place those legal structures to support that as well. So it is having a legal will, having your enduring guardianship, uh, your power of attorney, all of those things so that we're not just saying this, um, it's written down in a book, but also it's supported by those legal structures of our legal will. Because by not having something like that in place, and and I've seen that play out with with some of my family and loved ones, that it's that one day I'll get around to it, and then it's not done. And it just means a world of hurt and a world of pain and drama for your loved ones. And so I think there's a really something amazing. It's like the ultimate gift of love that you can give to your loved ones, giving them that certainty about what what the end looks like for you and beyond.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Yeah. So is it dying to tell you?

SPEAKER_01 12:47

Dying to tell you is the uh the title of my book. And and I do promote it sometimes on on my Instagram for uh for my podcast. But it's um it's really just that, and there's plenty of other iterations of it. Like there's if you go looking for a death book, they're on Amazon, there's there's a whole range of them. You'll put your hands on them pretty much anywhere, but it's just that thought process of actually thinking about this and having the conversations and planning it, having it documented somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

I know people can often get caught up by here conversations too, like, oh Australia, we're getting, you know, if America sneezes, we get the clue. Um, we're getting so heavily governed. And I'm sick of, yeah, I don't want to go to a lawyer and pay this or a solicitor. Slowly, you know, it's becoming lawyer here, not solicitor. I don't want to pay for that. I I'll get to it one day. But like you're saying, I've seen other families go through a process of nothing was in place. It's very messy.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

It just leaves so much open to nefarious kind of people coming through or the people coming out of the woodwork that didn't have a part to play, but all of a sudden, because there's that legal loophole that's kind of been left open. Um, and that's the other thing in in the dying to tell you book, there's kind of a bit for some deep dark secrets. So it's stuff like secrets I've taken to the grave. So you might be able to have a bit of a laugh and go, I've told no one in my life about this thing. So they're going to get a surprise when they read the book upon my passing. So that's it's a bit cheeky as well. But I would say it's really meant to inspire those conversations so that if you are unwell or if you have a catastrophic incident um where you can't otherwise communicate with your family, they already know what your answer is going to be to some of those end-of-life questions.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

And great Nana Mabel actually had a you know a boyfriend that was.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

That's exactly right. But someone knew about. Yeah. It's it's just again, it's a gift that keeps giving. I love it.

SPEAKER_00 14:43

I love it. Okay, so to switch gears a little bit, still talking about life. I noticed that you talked too about maybe not so much like you you let go of the idea, maybe a little bit at your quarter life change. Uh the idea of having a perfect life. And now you pursue or you're in your life that is full and rich for you. So, you know, I guess each day we get up and we pursue our work and our what we need to do and to get money to to live and eat and pay our bills. But I guess some people pursue money. And I really like how you talk about um a rich and full life and in how you're enjoying that. Can you tell us a bit about that, please, Chris and Marie, and what what that means for you and how that plays out in your day, every day?

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah. And I guess where this comes from for me is that I climbed to the top tier in my my job, and I because I thought that was it. Once I had the title, and once I had the pay grade, and once I, you know, then I would get to the top of the mountain, I'd look around and go, oh, this life is good. But I did that. I I climbed and climbed and got to the top and just kind of went, oh, is this it? Um, and that really caused me to go through another um, that was the sort of the second act in terms of when I was looking around, going, I've built my identity around my job. So first time I built my identity around my kids and my being a wife and a mother. Second go, I kind of built my identity around my role and my title and my pay grade. And I thought that that was the be all and end all. And when I was looking around going, this doesn't fulfill me, it doesn't excite me. Uh, I felt quite guilty in terms of going, but I've got this stuff. I how do I not do this anymore? How do I let go? And I think I bought into this. We always hear of these high-powered women who threw in their careers to pursue their passion of basket weaving. And, you know, it's it's not practical. I was kind of stuck in this spot where I was going, well, I've still got bills to pay, I've still got a household to run, so I can't go run away with the circus or, you know, create my own little candle business or something. Like I couldn't do that because I'd seen it only in those absolute kind of ways. But I was able to take a step down in grade, which again, that took a lot of work for me because I saw that originally as failure. Like, what would people say about me if I climbed here and then by choice I went back down again? So I had to do a whole lot of work around my identity and what was important to me and what it all looked like. And I finally got to a point where I was like, A, let's not give a shit what other people think because while they're not paying our bills or while they're not running our household for us, they don't really get a say in what that looks like. But also it was that that then gave me the power to step down into a role where I could do my little nine to five. And then outside of that, I have my photography and I have my podcast and I paint and I do all sorts of amazing, do pottery. So it really has been um giving my work life the air and the weight that it deserves. Uh, and then saying yes to all of these other incredible opportunities, even tap dance. I I've started tap dancing this year, uh, which is something I've wanted to do since I was about six years old. But the little voices were like, oh no, we can't do this. Uh and so this year it's like, fuck it, I can actually do this. So, and I'm terrible at it. It's it's awful. And all I do is laugh most of the class, but I love that I'm doing that. And I love that I've got that permission to suck and not actually care what anyone else thinks of me doing my little tippy tap.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

So for anyone listening to this, anyone doesn't have to be female, um just the space that Chrissy and I may work in. Uh Chrissy referenced, you know, uh she's wanted to do tap dancing since six six around six years of old, or six years of age, six years old. Um, and now she's finally doing it. And for people that haven't heard of that, it's called imposter syndrome when you hear keep hearing that voice, no, I can't do that. What if people, what if I but all the other 79, you know, voices are going no and finding a reason why we can't do that. But so that's called imposter syndrome. I'm interested, Chrissy Marie, to know what finally got you to the point where you just said, fuck it. What what got finally got you over the hurdle to try the tappy tippy tappy dancing this year? What what was it?

SPEAKER_01 19:26

It was actually so last year was a bit of like if if last year was a tarot card, it would be the tower because it was like literally everything turned to shit. It was like physical, um, spiritual, psychological, like everything seemed to fall in a heap. But it was the best thing to happen because it really, and I I thought I'd done the work. I thought I was great. But then last year's I was really tested in a number of ways, and that then made me realize how much extra work I had I had to do. Uh so it was through the work of a wonderful psychologist. It was uh through getting really serious about who I was and what I like doing and what makes me actually happy, what fulfills me, uh, that then I was able to get to a point where I'm like, well, if there's people or activities or things that don't meet the brief that aren't making me happy, um, relationships that I kind of endured through through longevity. I thought that, you know what, we've been friends for such a long time. I I guess I have to put up with certain things to still be friends with this person. It just got to a point where I was like, well, actually, I don't. Um, and it really, the the work with the psychologist was really the the instrumental part that allowed me to question a lot of the assumptions and and beliefs and limitations I was putting on myself. Uh, and so sort of in the second half of last year, um, and and she was great. She'd set me little homework tasks. She'd say something, I'm like, oh, I can't do that. She's like, great, that's your homework. You don't work to do that. So it was amazing. And that was really what got me to this point now where um, and it's not, it's not in like an apathetic way where I'm like, oh, I don't care. But it's like, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am and how awesome my life is. And um it's being able to be true to yourself and go, well, I've always wanted to learn this, not as a thing to go, I have to be the best at it and I want to go to the Olympics or I want to perform or, you know, compete or any of that stuff. Just the act of learning something new. And I want to try and keep my brain active and and all of those amazing things as well. But I I think it was just that dawning moment that no one is gonna tell you what to do. And no one's gonna tell you what to do, which is like really exciting because, in the same way as they're not gonna guide you through your life and give you the roadmap or set the instructions for how to get to your happily ever after, they're not actually gonna tell you how to do stuff. So, and and it's not their role anyway, it's it's ours. It's ours because then when we mess up, it's totally ours. We can't blame someone else. But then when we like kick those awesome goals or we find those things that really set our heart on fire, that's ours to own. And we're like, yeah, like we get to actually be clapping for ourselves. And I think that's the really empowering bit is not caring what other people think because that way they don't have the power to impact or influence you in any way. It's all, it's all yours. It's all beautiful in your own heart in terms of what you like, what you do, what you can and can't do. Um, because ultimately we are limitless. The the only confines we put are on ourselves, and we're often our own worst critic in terms of what we can and can't or should and shouldn't be doing. So it's like just try it out for once, tell that little voice to shut the fuck up and uh and let's see what happens because I can assure you it's not always terrible. So yeah, give it a go.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

Yeah, love that. Just for a quick reference before we move on to people that don't know the tarot card. Is the tower that year that it's going to be like that?

SPEAKER_01 23:04

The tower is kind of like those unexpected changes. It's like it is it's literally like a tower, and there's people leaping out of it, and there's a big lightning, but like the the iconography of the uh by itself is really just like, oh no.

unknown 23:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

So uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

That's for the people that are learning. Yes, love it. And like you were saying, that there's no one going to tell you to do it. Conversely, there's gonna be no one to tell you not to do it. And like you're saying, it's uh it's us. It's no, I don't think I can. No, I won't go tonight. I love what you said too, that I don't have to be at the Olympics doing this. For me, just getting out, for you getting out doing kitty catching um, you know, uh trying something new. No one's telling you to do it or not to do it. It's it's the the loop in our head that goes around constantly. It is not the time with critic with critical uh reference. Okay, so the other thing I want to touch base on you have a lot going on, and I love that background. I love it. I noticed that you've had a photography exhibition and you've got a travel blog. So let's talk a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

I like to stay busy. I I do like to stay busy, and so photography was actually something that I started doing back when I separated from my first husband. So uh it was a hobby that I picked up that I was able to pour a lot of my energy and efforts into, and it's it's sort of been a constant. And sometimes it's been really intense, and I've done a lot with it, and it's sort of flown uh off the radar for a little bit there. Uh, and then after COVID, I started a photographic exhibition or sorry, a photographic series referencing the 2259 postcode. Uh, and because at that point we were kind of contained and we couldn't really go anywhere outside of our postcode. So I thought that I would explore that postcode in the same way as I might other exotic locations around the world. And so I ended up with this glut of about 500 photos of my local area. And then when we were able to start traveling again, started noticing these synchronicities between the images I captured in my local area and images I was taking anywhere else around the world. So I bought that together in a photographic series called Parallel. And so it features a diptych or two images together, one of the local area and one of the overseas location. And there's a beautiful creative community in my end of the central coast and a beautiful lady called Triana, who owns a creative store at Tukele. And she offered me a space to be able to exhibit. Uh, and that was again the most amazing opportunity, uh, even to be able to people come in and talk about photography, talk about photos and what they like doing. But also it felt a little bit legit, which was great. Um, again, not that I thought I needed that because I I I'm not like a wedding photographer or um a photographer who goes and takes photos for a certain person and there's a certain brief. I'm a little bit too free-range uh for that. So it's like I just I take photos of the stuff that I love. And then if you love them too, that's wonderful. You you can have some hanging in your own home. Uh and this year I set a target. I wanted to enter a competition for my photography. And so I entered some images in the Easter show um in Sydney this year. And I didn't get a ribbon, I didn't get a place or win any money, and no one wanted to buy any of my images. It didn't matter. My goal was tick. It's like mission achieved for this year. So um there's that. And then because I travel around, um, and I think there's a real all these influencers for travel, they're 20-somethings. They're either up at their luxury five-star places or they're, you know, in the youth hostels. Uh, that's not for me. I'm not built for lumpy beds. Um, but I'm not really fussy either. Um I I think I'm a value traveler. Um, so that's what the blog's all about as well. So it is uh just to share stories and hints and tips and things that have gone right and maybe wrong um in in terms of those travels as well. And I think there's great power in storytelling in all forms. And that's what I do on the podcast, and that's or doing the blog is just to share my stories, not to go, you should do this, but um, yeah, here's what here's how it worked out for me. You might um it might work out differently for you, but do it. Like that's that's ultimately the thing is do the thing because it could be amazing, it could suck. Um, but it well, we won't know if you don't do it. And that's kind of my approach to any of my creative pursuits as well is what's the worst thing that can happen.

SPEAKER_00 27:34

I love um how you you you're not out to cutthroat, you're out to achieve for you. I entered into the royal least, so everyone listening. Kissy Marie entered into the Royal East to show kick. Didn't come away with a ribbon or a prize or money. That wasn't your goal. Your goal was for you for your self-fulfillment was to get there. Travel there, set it up, do it, and walk away. I feel that's enough. Yep, you know, exactly. It doesn't all have to be hardcore. Oh, I didn't get the gold, oh, I'm not doing fucking this anymore, I don't want to play anymore. That's exactly right.

SPEAKER_01 28:08

Yeah, just competitive as the next person, but I think that um it's giving ourselves that permission that once it's all once we know in our heart what we want, everything becomes for us. Um whereas I think if we're ego, we're all about what other people think. Um, and that's again, that's giving away our power to everyone else, and we don't want to be doing that.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

So, how many creative pursuits? I I noticed you use the word passion, Chrissy Marie. So, what what what how many creative passions do you have? You have your photography, your travel blog, you say you um you love dogs?

SPEAKER_01 28:47

Oh, I do.

SPEAKER_00 28:48

I'm obsessed with dogs. Yep, yep. I don't have one at the moment, but I usually always say um self-care, working with women. So what's your core? You're saying that you step down from one of your levels at work so you could pursue your passions and have time to do that. What's your number one passion out of all that? I guess that's my question.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

Yeah, for me it is being able to show all women, but again, all people, because I know that there are certain um humans. I I think everybody is limiting themselves or everyone is kind of going, oh, I can't. And I think that in this day and age with social media, everyone is looking to these influences and looking to these people to aspire to be like. But for me, I'm like, oh no, Doug, you're the gem, you're the prize. Like, and and for me, I I love the allowing people to see that in themselves. And that comes in all forms. So it's through um helping people apply for jobs. So being able to help them with their resumes, to be able to just refine it, to use language that's going to say what they can do, but in a way that appeals to the job that they're applying for. Um, it's in those ways of being able to give them that boost to their self-esteem, where it's like, oh no, like you can do this and you are beautiful and amazing. And like, so it's really just allowing every person to be the best, shiniest, most amazing exam piece of themselves that they possibly can be. And for them to see that for themselves, instead of me trying to give them that external validation and go, oh, you're a magical unicorn. It's like, no, how about you see that you are an amazing magical unicorn and and that your possibilities are endless? And I think that that's if if I won Lotto tomorrow, I have a great big list of things that I want to achieve. And all of them are relating to empowering other people to realize their fullest of potentials. Um, yeah, because I I feel like I'm living my very best life. And so it's like, how silly would it be if I just had what I feel is the secret source of living my best life and didn't share that with anyone? It's like, no, share knowledge and information and stories and all of that stuff to inspire and empower other people to also get there as well. Without it, it doesn't need to be a copycat thing or like I'm definitely not a um a specimen or an example of of how to do it because man, I have fucked up. Like so I I should not be the example, the exemplar that's held up. But it's to show people that it's possible. It's possible to have kids early in life, it's possible to have a failed marriage, it's possible to face adversity, but you'll you'll get there and you'll end up where you're meant to be in the end always. Um, again, if you led by the heart and you stay true to yourself and what you want out of life.

SPEAKER_00 31:41

I love that. I love that. Yeah. I love that. I just love your attitude around it, doesn't have to be big and bold and it it just has to be coming from you. And I think a lot of people struggle with that imposter syndrome, the burnt chop, the pickle in the jar, your reference earlier. And I just love that what you're working with. I think that's amazing. Wow, what a chat, Chris Mary. I love that. So as we finish up today with a few minutes to go, what would be your parting message for all the listeners at home listening to your episode? One message, what would that be?

SPEAKER_01 32:18

Do the thing. I'm gonna repeat it. Do the thing. Do the thing again. Do it, do it scared, do it exhausted, do do it. Um, because again, when we do it, we realize that we can do it. And then we can do the other thing and the other hard thing and the other amazing thing. Um, and so and and use the spite as well. For all of those people out there who tell you you can't do the thing, oh, harness that and use it. Because it's like double down on doing the thing if there's ever been anyone who've told you that you can't do the thing or you won't do the thing. Um, whatever your motivation is, that's exactly right. Just do the thing. Um, because it's we'll get to a point in our lives where we can't do the thing or we can't even think about doing the thing anymore. So we're better to live with the potential regret of having done it than the regret of never even trying it. So that is my advice. Go do the thing. Yeah, you can suck at it and it's fine. Uh, you don't have to win medals for it. If you want to win a medal, you do that too. That's great. But again, live our life on our terms and don't don't live, don't die with any regrets. Um, make sure that it's it's your life that you're living and that ultimately the end you're you're happy with what you've done.

SPEAKER_00 33:34

What you do you boo boo. That's exactly. I say that a lot. My partner actually says, you do the voodoo that do you, you know. Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 33:46

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

But again, it's for the night. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:48

That's that's the thing. Yep. And it's for each of us to decide what that looks like for for each of us. Um, but yeah, it's like just do the thing.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

All right, thank you so much for your time this afternoon, Chrissy Marie. It's been amazing. I just love it. I can just feel your energy. It's amazing. Thank you, thank you. So, everybody, thank you. That's another episode of Midlife Unplugged the Fucker Ears. I'm your host, Lara Portelli, and I'll see you again soon on screen with another lovely guest from somewhere around the world. Take care now. Bye. That's a wrap of this episode of Midlife Unplugged the Fucker Ears. If today's conversation is something up in you, hit subscribe, share it with your midlife crew, and keep the conversation going. I'm Lara Portelli. See you next week for another raw, real and unapologetic chat.