What Should I Do? Your Questions Answered

This episode is 100% driven by your questions—and hitting on themes many of us are struggling with.

In this episode, Patti and Mark give their take on what to do with:

•  The “hero manager” who creates chaos just to fix it 
•  Being addicted to being busy when you work in a culture that rewards busy
•  Phone addiction when your phone feels like your best friend
•  The emotional toll of job searching 
•  How to know when it’s time to leave your job and find a new one

If you’ve been feeling stuck, stretched thin, or unsure about your next move, Mark and Patti have ideas and tips that will help.

Please subscribe and share this with anyone who needs to hear this conversation! Check out Aren't Ya Tired Of on YouTube, and follow us on Instagram at arentyatiredof_social.  Send your topic suggestions to podcast@pattibjohnson.com or through DM on LinkedIn or Instagram.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Welcome to Aren't You Tired Of podcast? And we are here to solve your problems, help you with all the things that you're tired of. And today we want to take a few reader questions. And so Mark and I are just going to talk through and try to answer these as best we can. These are some of the ones that have come in. We hope you send us some more. Yeah. First question I have a hero manager. He creates chaos and then swoops in at the last minute to save the day when it never needed to happen in the first place. How do I deal with this person?

SPEAKER_00 0:43

Wow. You know, I when I uh when I think about that, I will say something to you to that listener that is just a super talk straight. You've got to figure out a way to bring that to the manager's attention. Um I have observed, you know, are are you open to an observation? I've observed that, you know, we kind of had this situation when you made these decisions, and then, you know, it kind of doesn't go well. And then I notice that you're coming in and doing these things. I'm, you know, finding that that is having an impact on me.

SPEAKER_02 1:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

You know, and being able to support and and talk. You just have to figure out in your own way to talk straight. What I mean, agree.

SPEAKER_01 1:26

I think I think agree, I agree with that. I think the other thing I would add to it is to counterbalance as best you can with a lot of pre-planning. Yeah. So in other words, if you know somebody has those tendencies, loves to create chaos, loves to swoop into the last minute, pre-plan the heck out of it. You know, have multiple meetings, discussions that they are involved in. Here's what we're gonna do. Are you good? Here's what else do you need? Almost try to counterbalance. You still may have some of it, but I think that those two things are probably one is proactive and trying. And the other one is if you get there, just shoot straight. Like we're a lot of last minute stuff. I feel like we could have done a better job. We could have anticipated. The pre-planner is the thing. Pre-planning is key. Yeah. I do think that's key. Okay. These are quick. Oh, got several questions. Okay. Uh I might be a little addicted to busy, but my problem is I'm in a culture that's addicted to busy. It's very fast-paced. How can I re-center myself when I'm in this environment?

SPEAKER_00 2:25

Vitamins and supplements.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Exactly. That is hard.

SPEAKER_00 2:29

Get your protein, get your protein. I agree. Um, it's hard because if that's what the organization rewards, then that is what they're going to reward and what they expect. And so the one thing I'll say super quick is uh what word that comes to mind for me is boundaries. Totally. You gotta figure out like what's gonna work for you. How do you kind of ring fence your time and figure out a way to get the things done that are important? Um, how to get some work done through others if that's a possibility.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Totally agree. And I think in that environment, I will say I've been in those environments and I, you are not gonna change the environment. So you got what you got. But I think you gotta figure out, you know, how do you surf your way through it? So for me, I would always be if I had an event at school, if I had uh a personal priority, I always get into, well, you know, I've got to go to the thing at school and I've got to do the thing. I was like, I'm not available uh between two and four on Thursday, but how about we talk Thursday morning? You know, just more try to really, those boundaries don't have to be visible to everybody. Right. Um, you know, I think you got to realize too, how do you have the highest impact you can while still knowing what are my boundaries that are my must-haves. I have to have dinner with my family every most of the time. There are exceptions. Yeah. But I want dinner with my family. Whatever it is, it's important. Um, know what those are and work them in your own way. You don't have to have a megaphone on telling everybody what you're doing.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

You don't have to tell everybody. Sometimes you just have to say I'm not available, but you figure out how to do that. And then I'll just say this, listener, um, we do teach people how to treat us.

SPEAKER_01 4:11

We do. We do.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

We do teach people how to treat us.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

So yeah. And I think on the flip, as an example, if you are an industry that, you know, it could be investment banking, it could be, you know, a real estate agent that is a 24-7 deal, then you it just is. You just have to know. And if you want a real, a much more manageable, flexible life, you know, maybe maybe that's not the culture you want to be in long term. That's a bigger discussion. But that's that's a good one. Number three. Yeah. Speaking of addicted to busy, I think I'm addicted to my phone.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Who isn't?

SPEAKER_01 4:44

My phone is my best friend. How can I break this cycle? Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00 4:49

We need the answer to this one, Mark. Oh my gosh. Uh well, I was watching uh I was on the gram and I was, you know, scrolling, and uh Jay Shetty, I this is interesting. Um, if you know Jay Shetty, he's um a great uh thinker and and encourager. And he said, the first 60 minutes of your day, don't look at your phone, is what he said. The first 60 minutes of your day, and I was very guilty. I can't do it. I mean, I picked it up. That was the first thing I did. And he said, Don't look at your phone because you're starting to set a pattern and a way for how your day is gonna go. If you pick up and there's some urgency or there's a text, you're teaching immediate response. Yeah. Let me let me do this. And you're teaching yourself for the first moments of your day on how to be. But I also think if you are addicted to it and it is a problem, then okay, make the change that you want to be and see and set some limits.

SPEAKER_01 5:47

Yeah. Yeah. I think the hard part, you know, on your phone, your phone is also your source for everything. It's how you book your travel, it's how you check the news, it's how you everything you want to do in life. You know, you gotta you gotta pay Zell on Zale, whatever it is, you do it on your phone. And I know one thing, not that I do this, I I am a little addicted to my phone, but is make sure I know I'm shifting from using my phone for purpose to just messing around and scrolling. That's true. And sometimes it might be, hey, you know, I'm gonna do some games on here. Yeah. But but notice when you start, and it'd be like, okay, in about 30 minutes, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, you know, just put it down and try to do something else. It is a darn hard thing because you use it for so many things that that matter. You're not just using it all the time, just scrolling around on TikTok. Right. But it, you know, you have to figure out, create what boundaries. We talk about boundaries all the time on this show.

SPEAKER_00 6:43

We do. We're always talking about boundaries. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

But I do think that is uh a really important and start to change some of those habits, no matter what it is.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

No matter what it is, right?

SPEAKER_01 6:53

First of the morning or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 6:55

I think we talk about that's an important point. We talk about boundaries a lot because when you're tired of something, yeah, you need to take a step back.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

Yeah, take a step back. Small changes. That's right. You know, go put your be like, you know, some kids, they have to go plug their phone in in the kitchen at starting at 8 p.m. Maybe be your own kids. Maybe that's you. Be your parent yourself. Parent yourself. Plug your phone in the kitchen. That's right. Leave it there. You know, that that is a hard thing. We get it. We get it.

SPEAKER_02 7:18

Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Okay. Number five. And this one I can so just I have a lot of empathy for this.

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:25

I'm job searching and I'm exhausted. How can I possibly stay encouraged, proactive, and keep my mind right?

SPEAKER_00 7:36

You know what? Um, I have always heard this at some point, started hearing in my um in my career, and it's like finding a job is a job, you know, that that old adage. Uh, I was talking with someone who's currently in the job market, someone that, you know, uh was uh a work uh colleague of mine and a friend now, and I told them something that I learned, and it's as you're networking, right? Because it's important to network, and you know, that's it's not what you know, it's who you know.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

If you meet someone and ask for a job, you get advice. If you ask for advice, you might just get a job.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

That's really good.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

And so that's introduction to a job. Yeah, an introduction to a job, you know, and and I'm kind of truncating it, but typically when you go in asking for, you know, I'm here for a job, do you have a job for me? You know, a lot of job whole hiring managers, you know, they'll lock down because they may not. But when you come in more open and seeking and, you know, the give and the take, they may, it may persuade them to say, you know what, this is someone who I need to figure out how to encourage and and bring in. So I don't know, just you know, ask for a job, get advice, ask for advice. You just might get a job.

SPEAKER_01 8:51

Yeah, I I think also the mindset of you have to get uh accept rejection is going, it's gonna be brutal. And there's gonna be a lot of rejection. There's gonna be people who you think, God, it went great. Yeah. I think Mark's probably gonna, I think I'm definitely making the next round, and you never hear from Mark again.

SPEAKER_02 9:08

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Uh, that is the it is the jungle out there.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

And I think the mind, your expectations, we know that when our expectations are out of sync with reality, that creates high stress. So expect it's gonna take longer than you think. Yeah. Expect that you're gonna be disappointed, you're gonna have a lot of rejection. And look, how do I manage that? I think also talking to other people who are looking that can be encouraging to each other.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:34

Um, distract from it. I think also helping, you know, create your day so that you have X amount. I'm gonna work on this or job searching. Yeah. Job searching is a whole, we could have a whole topic on that. That's right. Of how to, and you're giving examples of some of the things, but make sure your day is X amount of time I'm gonna spend on that. And then, you know, I'm also gonna go, I'm gonna go to yoga class. I'm gonna whatever those other things are to help you stay centered.

SPEAKER_00 9:58

Break it up and stay centered and pour back into yourself.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

Pour back into yourself. And just know every it's a it's brutal for everybody. You are not you are not alone in that. And um, it's a hard thing. And we feel for you. Yeah, we do.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

Um one quick thing I'll also add, Patty, before do we have another question on that? We have one, we have one more question. One more, I I have another thought on that. And that's also are you searching for the right kind of next opportunity? Yeah, that's true. Right? Because it may just be, hey, this is what I've done, this is what I think I can do, but this might also be your moment to make the pivot.

SPEAKER_01 10:32

It could be. It could be, you know, or I'm a big believer in in in you don't want to give up. You gotta be determined, but look for signals from the universe. You know, that this door seems to be open a little easier than that one. What what do I want to make of that? That's right. It's a hard thing. We should probably have a conversation about that on one of our podcasts. Okay, this is our last question I'm gonna ask.

SPEAKER_02 10:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

And it kind of gets back to someone who is at a job. How do I know when it's time for me to make a change? I'm not very happy in my job. But how do I know if it's time for me to actually leave and go do something else?

SPEAKER_00 11:07

That's right. Well, maybe if we could get the listener from the previous question to talk to this current listener, if we could do a swap.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

We could do a swap.

SPEAKER_00 11:14

Yeah. So the person that's tired, right, they just maybe they need a little break.

SPEAKER_01 11:18

They need a break.

SPEAKER_00 11:19

And then the one that's looking for the job can come on in. Uh wow, that that's when it's when it's time to say goodbye, when when it's time to to call it. Well, are we saying it's time not retire, but you're just saying I'm in a job right now and it's time for a change. That's what the question is. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:37

It's time to make a change.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Well, you know, I always come back to one thing I I'm telling people and leaders I'm working with is what's your north star? What what do you aspire to do? And if what you're doing right now is not getting you one step closer to that next opportunity, then yeah, that that's probably the signal to to make the change. And then also, uh, did you say I'm not gonna get this right, but you said something like, if you're the smartest or most knowledgeable person in the room, right, it's it's time to find another room.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.

SPEAKER_00 12:12

You're in the wrong room. Yeah. And so, yeah, if you're starting to feel that way and you're not growing, then it's time to Yeah, it is time to do something else, but don't run to something, right? Don't run to run away. You want to be running too.

SPEAKER_01 12:27

Yeah. I think that's important. You know, it's not like I don't want to do that anymore. Well, what is it that matters to you? Yeah. I also uh one of the things I know I've coached people of apply for some other jobs. Go interview. I I can speak for myself before I started my own business. I went and interviewed um for another job at a, you know, a competitor.

SPEAKER_02 12:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

And talk about a gut instinct. Like, why would I do that? I want to do something different. That's right. I'm big believer in also you can appreciate just the mental of I could leave here if I want to. I could leave. That's right. Um sometimes can make you think, I'm just tired of this thing and I I don't appreciate some of the things that are here, but now I do.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:08

Um, so I I'm a big believer in if you aren't sure, stop apply for some other positions. Get out there a little bit. Yeah. See how you feel inside interviewing for another position. Uh that I always say to people, interviewing is not leaving.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

That's right.

SPEAKER_01 13:24

Those are two different decisions. Right. But um, you're looking for some input into especially if you've worked somewhere a while, it's stale. I'm tired of this place.

SPEAKER_00 13:34

That's right. Yeah, it and assess, assess if yeah, you may just be burnt out too. That's right. Maybe you just need to take a break. And if you know your company has a situation where you can, you know, step back, you know, a little bit or make some different decisions. You know, one of the things that comes to mind that I'll say is sometimes it's also about being brave and just saying, I am burnt out. I mean, I love what I do, but I've just been doing it too much. Yeah. And so now I'm ready to maybe just take a step back.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

And I think also, is it the is it the organization you're in or is it the role? Yeah. You know, I think it really helps.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Is it your manager?

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Your manager. Yeah. We've talked a lot and we have an episode about bad managers. Yeah. You know, what is it that's causing the rub? Because if you know the answer, if it's your manager, okay.

unknown 14:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:18

That's probably a temporary thing. Yeah. Is it the company? I love the company, but I'm really tired of this role. Okay. Yeah. What else is out there? So I think you gotta, you know, figure out, get your gut instinct and knowing what what you really think about it, instead of just, I'm just tired of this. Right. Okay, poke on that a little bit, you know?

SPEAKER_02 14:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01 14:35

So with that, I that's our last question for the day that we have time for. Please send others in. And it was great to to kind of go through those. Some of those could deserve a little bit more time, which we'll do that in a future episode. So, y'all have a great week and hope that you aren't too tired of anything. Not too tired. Thanks for joining us.

SPEAKER_00 14:53

Take care, y'all. Bye.

SPEAKER_01 14:55

Bye.