Having a Boring Social Life - Where did the Fun Go?

Are you tired of having a boring social life?

As life gets busier, it's easy for friendship, fun, and connection to take a back seat. In this episode, Patti and Mark explore why having a full life isn't just about work and responsibilities—it's also about spending time with family, friends, and the people who matter most. And, having fun.

They share practical ideas for creating more connection, fun, avoiding common obstacles, and building a social life that fits who you are today.

Because your social life doesn't have to look like anyone else's. Create a full life that's just the way you want it. 

Please subscribe and share this with anyone who needs to hear this conversation! Check out Aren't Ya Tired Of on YouTube, and follow us on Instagram at arentyatiredof_social.  Send your topic suggestions to podcast@pattibjohnson.com or through DM on LinkedIn or Instagram.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:09

Hi everybody. Welcome to Aren't You Tired Of, the podcast where you talk about all the things we're tired of. And have you noticed our list? We're we got a long list. It's not we're not running out of topic. No. It's getting I think it's getting longer.

SPEAKER_03 0:22

I think the topics are coming like, you know, I'll text you at any point in time and say I got one.

SPEAKER_02 0:26

Got one. And it's yeah, I have a list so long. But the topic today is aren't you tired of having a boring social life? And just listeners, so you know, when we say boring social life, even just the word social life, we mean time with friends.

SPEAKER_05 0:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:46

Okay. Yeah. So that's what we're going to talk about today with my esteemed co-host, Mark Benton.

SPEAKER_03 0:51

Yes, I'm Mark, and you are Patty Johnson.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Yes. And we are diving into this topic because we know, I mean, our whole podcast is work in life. We know we spend a lot of time working, doing all those things, even if it whether it's in business or it's just life, you're busy, you're doing all the stuff. Time with friends. It's important. How do you figure out how to do it so it's getting you what you want? So I'm curious, Mark. You know, um, we're coming into 4th of July. That's a big one. Yeah. But the big ones, the big ones. The big Super Bowl or New Year's Eve is the biggest thing.

SPEAKER_03 1:28

New Year's Eve, and then you get the Super Bowl.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

My question is have you ever had fun on New Year's Eve? And do you think about it a little differently now than when you were 25?

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Yeah. When I was 25, we were definitely trying to figure out where the party was. We were going to be out, as as my my parents used to say, out in them streets, you know, what that's where we were going to be. And um, but uh for a long time now, um we we're just at home on New Year's Eve. You know, we we don't like to get out, but we have so much fun. We have little rituals and things we do, we can talk about, but we New Year's Eve is, you know, kind of at home, kind of quiet. It's low-key. It's low-key. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

You do stay up till midnight.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

I have stayed up until midnight um on many occasions.

SPEAKER_02 2:18

Now that is the one, if you don't stay up till midnight, we can we can shame. I I can like I feel like, you know, I feel like that's something I've always needed to do. But I do think like I only think there's one time that I didn't. Okay, all right. He's kinda he had that look like, oh, about 9 30.

SPEAKER_03 2:38

I'll see you next year. I'm out.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

I'm out. Okay. So yes, you know, I think for us too, uh, I've never, I mean, I at some point as an uh, you know, adult, pretty early on, I realized those New Year's Year parties, they're not they're not my thing. Now we always a lot of times that we'll do, we might like with friends go out for a nice dinner.

SPEAKER_04 2:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Um I like that. And we might do something when the kids were little, we would we'd make them like, okay, let's put on some khaki pants. Yes. And we're go for a nice dinner.

SPEAKER_03 3:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:08

Um I like that. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 3:10

Well, you know, here's the thing as we get into this, we're not party planners. But we know a few things.

SPEAKER_02 3:19

About a few things.

SPEAKER_03 3:21

Yeah, that's right. And so I I think when you talk about social life and kind of how you get it done, I like that idea. Like maybe what we'll do is this coming New Year's Eve, we'll just go to a nice little dinner and be home early and hang in.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Yeah, and I think you know, the I think the key thing that we're kind of saying, listeners, what is it that you want out of your social life? You know, what sounds fun for you and are you doing it?

SPEAKER_05 3:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:46

You know, that's that's the other thing. Because a lot of times what we picture is fun. Yeah. Well, life is overtaking us and we are just tired. We had a busy week. That's right. All the stuff. And uh, but I think you gotta know what you want to do. And I think, you know, I can remember a Super Bowl party.

SPEAKER_04 4:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

And um, I won't name any names as a few years ago, but one of the women there was her her team was playing. Okay. And she was all in and was getting frustrated. Yeah. There's probably 15, 20 people there, frustrated that people were talking and telling everybody to hold it down.

SPEAKER_05 4:25

Oh, oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 4:26

And um, ended up, I think maybe left a little early because frustrated. But I think Was her team winning? That what I I think they ended up winning. Oh, but it's almost like, you know, you gotta know what is it you want from that's a silly example. But if you're like all locked in on the game and her expectations weren't right. Don't go to the Super Bowl party. But you know, just likewise, if if you kind of like an like a qu I like a quiet dinner with friends, don't say, oh, well then I'm gonna start going to Medieval Times. Oh, you're never gonna go to medieval times. That's dusty and then you're called thin and you don't want to go there.

SPEAKER_03 5:06

Well, there's you know what, you know what? I think maybe we have an episode, aren't you tired of medieval times?

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Well, here's a I'm just gonna give you a tip. Yeah. If you've been wanting to like ask some friends to go to something and you're like, hey, we've been meaning to get together. Uh-huh. How about medieval times? Yeah, you're probably not gonna poor medieval times, you know. I know the kids used to love it, but kids love it, and and adults love it too. Do they?

SPEAKER_03 5:33

Yeah, I mean, I'm just gonna say this real quick when it comes to social life. I think that there is a um uh there are persons out there that love to go out and go do different things. Yes. They're dressing for it.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 5:48

So I I saw knights and um the whole thing. Women and the the the queens and the and the dukes and the You gotta know. Yeah, you gotta know who's lords and ladies and they were down for it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:02

You might scare some people, but other people might be so into it. Maybe think what we're trying to do is to say, how do you figure out what sounds fun to you? And I think to your point about medieval times, if you're gonna plan something, make sure you're with your people. You know, like if you are if you love medieval medieval times, go do that. If you're somebody like we're kind of a game family, well, we have some other friends who don't make me do games. Yeah. Great, great. Well, then don't plan game night with them, right? Okay. Right. So you gotta kind of know.

SPEAKER_03 6:34

Set your vision.

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_03 6:35

Know know what you want to do, what you want out of social life.

SPEAKER_02 6:39

Because we've talked, and we talked about in a prior episode. I think we talked in graduation, how you know, you when you were in especially college, you didn't have to plan anything. You just rolled down the hall. Hey, who wants to go? We used to go to this place. Yeah. Um, I can't really I should look, should have looked it up. It was a Mexican food place. Uh-huh. And, you know, in college, and they would get like a picture of margaritas for probably 10 of us. Yep. And they had, which nobody does this anymore, like free chips and queso. Yes. And we would stay there for, I don't know, three, four hours.

SPEAKER_03 7:09

A long time.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

A long time. And you didn't have to.

SPEAKER_03 7:11

Did you do the same?

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Did you plan it ahead of time? No.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

It was going to be eight minutes before we went. Hey, are y'all in?

SPEAKER_02 7:19

Anybody's got anybody wants to go, let's go.

SPEAKER_03 7:21

Sitting on the patio.

SPEAKER_02 7:22

But now, when you're an adult, you've got responsibilities, you've got jobs, you may have family. You've got to be intentional a little bit. You're tired if you're too tired. I think the other thing is what we're trying to get is if your social life, your time with friends, better said, Yeah. Isn't really what you want. Yeah. Let's talk, let's think about that and what is getting in your way from maybe just turning that dial a little bit. So let's talk about some of those traps. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 7:49

That you get away.

SPEAKER_02 7:50

So I'm gonna I'm gonna do one. And this is a big one. Waiting to be asked.

SPEAKER_03 7:57

Oh. Okay. Waiting for the invitation.

SPEAKER_02 7:59

Waiting for the invitation. And so you are, you know, you've run, we were laughing about this on the phone. Run into, you've seen this couple, right? Love them, have a great time. They're so fun. Yeah. You see them and you say, We've got to get together. Let's do it. Yep. Okay. Yeah. Let's figure something out. Great, great, great. Good to see you guys. Yeah. Three months go by.

SPEAKER_03 8:20

I know.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

And you had said you had that happen.

SPEAKER_03 8:23

Well, we we did. We were actually um out at a gathering, a bunch of friends. It was a wedding, and we met some dear friends we, you know, had the occasion to spend the evening with, and it's still on the radar. It's still it's still on the radar, but we've been talking about it, and um I I I know we're not solutioning yet, but uh the the point on that one is waiting to be invited. Don't be the invitee, be the invitor.

SPEAKER_02 8:49

That's the thing. Be the ask. And you have to understand you're putting yourself out there a little bit. And you might ask somebody and they might not be available. Um that's okay. I think so. You know, but if you want, if your goal is, I I do want to get together with people a little bit more, then you gotta be willing to be an ask and and don't make it such a big deal.

SPEAKER_03 9:14

Yeah, don't be precious about it. No, yeah, no, no, no. You know, one that comes to mind for me um is I'm done meeting all the people that you've already known. I know everybody. There's nobody else I need to know. But I I think with that one, it's like, you know, just like re friendships, you know, coupleships are like um, you know, your relationship that you have with, you know, your your person. And you gotta keep it fresh. You gotta do different things.

SPEAKER_02 9:43

Well, question. If you, you know, you're talking about that the another trap of I I don't really I'm not that interested in meeting and doing stuff with new people. Is that because I mean just you, but just in general, yeah. We're tired, we don't have the it takes more energy than I want to give, or I don't need an I don't need to meet anybody new. What's what's what's keeping that?

SPEAKER_03 10:05

Let's let's hang on this one for just a bit. Yeah, let's do. I think sometimes when you've met your people, you know, then it can be scary meeting new people. Yes. You know, like you think that it's gonna be great. Like just go back like when you were in school, elementary school, and you met a new friend and they turned out to be a disaster. Right? And you're like, oh, and now I can't get rid of them.

SPEAKER_05 10:29

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:29

Right. So then you get as you get to be older and you have, you know, your adult friendships, you know, you're like, this is somebody new I'm meeting, and we can't we can't get rid of them.

SPEAKER_02 10:42

Mark, you're kind of playing it forward, don't you think? You're kind of going from step one to maybe 72.

SPEAKER_03 10:46

But I'm thinking that that might be why people don't want to meet anybody new because they're like, I I I can't want it. Yeah, it takes too much energy. It takes too much energy. It could be a fail, you know. It could be.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

It could be. It could be. It is funny. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 11:01

I just want to keep it safe, you know.

SPEAKER_02 11:03

And I I I think uh, you know, I'm at that season in life where, you know, when the kids were younger, oh my gosh, you have all these parent parents were everywhere. Yes. Other people are everywhere. Uh uh, and and they're just it there's no problem. There's a gathering, this, oh, we're going with this family or there. But then as people, as you get past, you get that emptiness, which we had a great episode kind of that talks about emptiness with Carrie Keo. You need to listen to that. Yeah. About parenting everyone. Then you kind of get into that new chapter of you don't rely on if you have kids, you don't rely on kids, or you don't maybe when you were younger, that big social circle that then everybody scatters a little bit.

SPEAKER_05 11:39

Yep.

SPEAKER_02 11:39

So now you're safety net. So that can happen where all of a sudden the safety nets were all there. That's right. You get to a certain point in life, and then now you really have to work at it unless you want to be home all the time. That's true. And if you do, that's cool too.

SPEAKER_03 11:53

You know what I think is also really great though, is um, and listeners, you may be out there if you have a family that you know it you're blessed that all of y'all are friends and you just love hanging out. That is true. You know, that's awesome.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

You know, because that's that's like insta, insta friends, insta family. You know, it's all right there.

SPEAKER_02 12:10

It's all right there. And it can keep you from branching out. But it's it's to me, it's also recharging to meet new people, talk to new people. And I think the third trap I would mention is don't overthink it and make the bar so high. You know, we're laughing about you know, medieval times. I think there's some things you can do if you're like, oh my gosh, asking somebody to do something just feels daunting. I do think, hey, you want to go to the baseball game? Yeah. You want to go now to me, I'm be more likely to do that, probably. Yeah. I'm probably not gonna go with you to well, if you ask me to go to medieval times, I'd go. But you know what I mean? Find something. It just makes it so much simpler. I'm gonna meet you there. We'll meet you there.

SPEAKER_03 12:52

Yeah. I mean, also kind of know your audience. Yeah. Right? You know, um, you might not be medieval times, tournament and games. You might you might not be. But, you know, uh, maybe you're a movie person.

SPEAKER_02 13:06

Exactly. That's simple. That is an easy ask. There's a great movie coming out. We are so excited to see. I thought you guys might want to go with us. I also, this is something we do, and I have friends who do this. My friend, I've mentioned Martha Mr. Hoff several times. She does this too. If you're kind of like having people over for dinner, to me, that's can feel daunting. That can feel big. And it can cause you from not only just the prep and making dinner, but you're like, I got the house ready, and I can't spend all Saturday getting ready. Right. But one of the things that we do for a personal touch is why don't you come by for drinks and abs, then we'll go to dinner.

SPEAKER_05 13:44

Oh, that's nice.

SPEAKER_02 13:45

It's super simple. You'll pull the cheese board out, a little glass of wine if you want, for like an hour or so.

SPEAKER_03 13:50

I love a charcuterie board.

SPEAKER_02 13:52

It's sharp, me too. Yeah. It doesn't get any better than a charcuterie.

SPEAKER_03 13:54

No, it's delightful. I love one.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

But my point is, is if you want to do something that you feel like I just want to have a little bit more of a personal touch.

SPEAKER_03 14:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

I like that.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

That is really good.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 14:07

It's like an adult pre-gaming.

SPEAKER_02 14:09

It's pre-gaming, but it's not too much pressure. It's super simple. Have a bottle of wine and get some cheese.

SPEAKER_03 14:15

You know what we've done actually is done the opposite. So you go and do the thing and then we come back for a little dessert.

SPEAKER_02 14:20

Dessert. That's another way to do it.

SPEAKER_03 14:21

Or as we say my family, dessert.

SPEAKER_02 14:23

Dessert. See, that's another way to do it. It's a way, it's a simple way to have, you know, host something. But it's not it's not as much pressure. Yeah, but it's not as much pressure.

SPEAKER_03 14:34

I like that. It's not too hard. I don't talk. Here's another one before we, you know, kind of keep moving into this topic. Um, but I, you know, I I think I've told you this. I don't really ever talk about like introvert, extrovert, but what I talk about is where do you get your energy? Is it externally or internally? And so sometimes um I think going back to finding your people, you know, if you find, you know, that other couple or, you know, friends or friend group that y'all kind of have the same energy, yes, that's a blessing. Yes. Right? You know, we all we all can sit in the same room and just watch TV and just being around each other is the thing. It's enough. Or we got all kinds of energy. We're bouncing off the walls and that works for us. But like sometimes people will say, Oh, you know what, I'm not gonna find my people, and you know, and this group over here is too much or that. Well, if you want to have that good social circle and that's important to you, then find your people. They're out there.

SPEAKER_02 15:36

I know, and I think too, I mean, I don't know what my label is because I like getting together with friends. I love, we do vacations with people. We do, we talked about that on our our vacation episode.

SPEAKER_05 15:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:47

I love that. I love the energy of of you know, having people over sometimes, all that, but I'm also I think I get my energy. I there's a time when like I gotta, I gotta, I need some time for me. Well I need to go, I need some time by myself, reading.

SPEAKER_04 16:02

I like that too.

SPEAKER_02 16:03

Um so if I might have had like maybe Friday night we did a big, we did this fun stuff, maybe Saturday I'm gonna want to do a little bit more low-key. Yeah. So I think knowing, like you're saying, like no, if you are an introvert, that doesn't the other thing I wonder if you feel like I'm an introvert, but yet you don't do anything, and then you feel I feel kind of isolated.

SPEAKER_03 16:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

I feel like I'm not doing this fun stuff. It can happen.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

It can happen. And I I think especially for people that are together, that one gets their energy externally and the other gets their energy internally, and then you try to figure out how to navigate that. Yeah, that you know, that can be kind of difficult for your social circle.

SPEAKER_02 16:44

You know, that person wants to go, uh they they want to go do all this other stuff. I'm kind of it seems like, but yeah, they feel this feels too slow. Yeah, you know.

SPEAKER_03 16:52

Yeah, that that can be a thing too, you know, where you're just like, hey, they're all gonna go from here to here. And and your other person's like, well, I I'm ready to go from here to the bed.

SPEAKER_06 17:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

And and not for a good time either. You know, I'm ready to go nighty night. Right.

SPEAKER_02 17:08

Well, um, let's talk about some other tips, okay? We got some other tips here.

SPEAKER_05 17:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:13

Um, like I said, in terms of do what's fun and easy, I hate to bring it up.

SPEAKER_05 17:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:19

Those of you that know Mark, this is gonna be a hot button. I'm gonna say it.

SPEAKER_04 17:24

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

If you no, like I I'm gonna give a little explanation. If you want to have like some friends over, have everybody bring something. Now stop, stop, stop, stop. We're not, I know you, I know how you feel about I don't want to use the word potluck. I'm afraid you're gonna, it's gonna give you a twitch.

SPEAKER_03 17:40

I can't.

SPEAKER_02 17:41

But I can't want it. You know, I know you hate like potlucks when you've got like 60 people at work and they're all bringing something. But if you know, hey, we have some other friends, like I know that their cat is not stirring the the pasta sauce, okay? So I don't worry about that. But have everybody have them bring something. And and I think too, everybody always asks. You can do store bought. But let's don't act like we're at school and you have to, you can't, you only can only bring store-bought. Well, because that's not going to go over with the code.

SPEAKER_03 18:10

Well, I mean, at the schools, they have it really easy because of the whole store-bought thing. So, I mean, you can get down, you know, on on a potluck at at you know, within like the school systems and stuff in certain places.

SPEAKER_02 18:22

You can do it. But I do think that's one thing I would say. If you're like, I kind of want to have people over, I don't I'm intimidated to do all the posting and stuff that can really simplify. Yeah. Like everybody knows oh sure, we're gonna do the brisket. You can tell from Texas, barber.

SPEAKER_03 18:37

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 18:38

What do you what would you guys like to bring in? Yeah. Just jump in.

SPEAKER_03 18:41

Well, I just think what you can do is for me, I have just learned to self-manage and I'll just make sure I have a little ham sandwich in my grip, you know, just in case we have to go to the potluck. So if you invite me to your house for a potluck and I excuse myself for a few minutes, just know I'm upstairs eating my ham sandwich and my Fritos. And then I'll come back down and I'll be ready to socialize.

SPEAKER_02 19:04

I would distinguish between the big you're you're doing a potluck with people you don't know. That's totally different from maybe it's five or six friends that you know are bringing something over. I think that's different.

SPEAKER_03 19:18

Well, I'll okay.

SPEAKER_02 19:19

That's not a potluck.

SPEAKER_03 19:20

I would call potluck is That's a gathering of people bringing it. Maybe that's how I get through it.

SPEAKER_02 19:25

Yeah, I don't think no, it's not potluck. It's not who are you? I don't know you and Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Well, I mean, just think about the whole I mean, we're gonna get off this topic in a second here, but just think about the potluck. It's like it's like a box of chocolates. You don't know what you're gonna get.

SPEAKER_02 19:39

Yeah, me too. I always pretty careful what I get from the I'm gonna get some probably some cheese and some package crackers or something.

SPEAKER_03 19:49

That would be a blessing if you if I invite you over to buy that from the K Roger.

SPEAKER_02 19:54

Yes. But the point I think for y'all, find a way to make it order pizza. Come on over. Excellent. I've got some beer, wine, and coke and come have some pizza.

SPEAKER_03 20:03

Right. Don't do it.

SPEAKER_02 20:05

I love it. Um also I think don't think you need to be like this big pre-planner. You talk about college, you know, have you just walked down the hall? I think like in our neighborhood, we've been surprised a lot of times, kind of the last minute Thursday night. Somebody says, Who's in town around on Saturday night and wants to, you know, come over for burgers? Yeah. A lot of times we'll get a better turnout than if you a month in advance. Yeah. Who's available on June 17th? Well, I don't know. We might not be back. Oh, we might have family in town. You know, sometimes last minute, don't think last minute means that you can't do it.

SPEAKER_03 20:45

Right. Yes. Uh one thing I also want to bring up is that we haven't said yet is that I like in your social groupings, I like, you know, if if you're, you know, with someone else, you know, you have a partner, a spouse, you know, significant other in your life. Do things together and then have your separate things. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:02

Separate things too.

SPEAKER_03 21:03

That's that's really important. I I think um for a healthy relationship. Definitely. You know, kind of having that, you know, I got my outlet and I got, you know, my dudes, you know, my ladies, my whoever, you know, that I hang out with. That's really important. I think that's really important. And can help with uh that variety and and getting out to see different people.

SPEAKER_02 21:23

I love that. You don't think and to me, you don't want to be too one way or the other. Like, well, I never go see my girlfriend. Or correct, you know, me and my significant other, in my case my husband, gosh, we haven't been out to dinner or done anything. Don't you don't want that either. So you gotta you gotta have a good that good balance. I also think like um you know, Ina Garden.

SPEAKER_03 21:48

Uh yes.

SPEAKER_02 21:49

You know, Ina says if you're gonna have people over, it's three couples in total. That's the right mix for conversation together around a table. And Ina, if you haven't read her book, it's so good.

SPEAKER_03 22:02

Is it Ina or Ina?

SPEAKER_02 22:03

I think it might be Ina.

SPEAKER_03 22:04

I don't know. It's just INA. It's just three three letters.

SPEAKER_02 22:08

I think I'm saying it wrong. Well I think I am.

SPEAKER_03 22:11

I'm gonna match your energy, Ina.

SPEAKER_02 22:13

Ina, Ina. I think it is Ina. Now that I say that Ina, it is Ina.

SPEAKER_03 22:17

I I've heard her say that and and she's sh I like that she says it with such confidence. She says, um, you know, no more than three couples. And um what what's her husband? Jeffrey.

SPEAKER_02 22:30

Jeffrey.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

Jeffrey. She's always cooking for Jeffrey.

SPEAKER_02 22:34

I love her life story. I thought it was really, really good.

SPEAKER_03 22:36

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Well I'm a fan of hers if I wouldn't know how to say her name. But I do think she doesn't say you can't have more than that. She says for a good conversation, that's the right number of people now.

SPEAKER_03 22:46

You know, I like that. So is it like she she's hosting, and then there's two other couples.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Mm-hmm. Okay. And she's, of course, let's talk about her. She's making this gourmet dinner, which she is. I'm not ever doing that.

SPEAKER_03 22:58

She's out in the garden, she's pulling something to make a little tablescape thing, and she's doing all the things.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

I made homemade lasagna last weekend. I thought I needed a trophy because I spent like three or four hours on it. I was like, I can't. Did everybody like the lasagna?

SPEAKER_03 23:13

That's good. Did they like it?

SPEAKER_02 23:14

They did. Wasn't that good?

SPEAKER_03 23:16

Was it fan? Was it delicious?

SPEAKER_02 23:18

Did um No, I sat down the first thing I said, I said, Oh, and uh I just want to make sure you know this is not stofers. Oh I was kind of setting it on the stage for some content.

SPEAKER_03 23:28

This is scratch.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

This is what we call from scratch. Well, my mom would have said this is from scratch.

SPEAKER_03 23:33

From scratch. This is from scratch. Hey, um, I made spaghetti from scratch.

SPEAKER_02 23:37

Really? Do you make your own sauce?

SPEAKER_03 23:39

No, I did not.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

You dumped it in there.

SPEAKER_03 23:40

I dumped it in.

SPEAKER_02 23:41

I don't yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_03 23:42

It's you know, my dad makes his own sauce.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

See, the but I I mean, I don't really do it.

SPEAKER_03 23:47

He he gets those tomatoes and he does it. That is next level. That's next level. Well, yeah, no, that's what he does. In fact, he was just talking to me about it the other day.

SPEAKER_02 23:55

That's next level. That's great. Well, you know, let's talk about a few other little a little tips. I do think if you are gonna have people over, this is something I think sometimes people will have people over, and then they get so uncomfortable or it doesn't go well and they don't want to do it again.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:14

So my I by the way, y'all, I I am not the host, hostess person, but we do have people over some and I'm comfortable with it. Yeah. But I will say you don't want to, on one end, you don't want to be like, okay, from 6 to 6 30, we're going to have cheese board. From 6 30 to 7, you're gonna walk in the backyard and you're gonna have a cocktail. Don't do that. But I do think having a little flow in your mind of how it's gonna go. Are you gonna have if if dinner's not gonna be there for an hour and a half, you better have some nibbles out.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

You need to have a little notch.

SPEAKER_02 24:47

You know how people stand in the kitchen? That's their sign.

SPEAKER_03 24:50

Hovering.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Hovering. That's like Thanksgiving morning. I'm be like, okay, guys, yeah, out. It's not time, it's another hour. If you're hungry, go get something. Yeah. You know, it's but it's like that. You want, you gotta have a little bit of thought on the flow.

SPEAKER_03 25:04

I think being a good host is um being gracious, you know. Make people feel comfortable. And make people feel comfortable. And I think if you listen to any of the influencers or you know, any of the party event planners, they'll all always tell you um, create, you know, a a welcoming, warm space. You got music. You have to have music. Music makes all the difference. Music that meets the mood.

SPEAKER_02 25:27

That meets the mood. Yeah, you gotta have a little bit of music. Yeah. Um, you know, also, you want a night killer, stand up and start putting the dish. No, it depends on the people, mate. But start putting dishes in the dishwasher. Party's over, boom. You're out of here, babe. See, it's been fun.

SPEAKER_05 25:46

Is that the signal?

SPEAKER_02 25:46

Yeah, don't, yeah, don't do that. If you go over and start rinsing and putting load in the dishwasher, and everybody's you're not talking to your guests.

SPEAKER_03 25:55

Flipping off lights.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Well, about time to wrap it up.

SPEAKER_03 26:03

Really enjoyed y'all.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

It's been fun. Yeah, dude.

SPEAKER_03 26:08

Anybody gotta go to church tomorrow?

SPEAKER_02 26:13

Yeah, you're like 9 30 on a Saturday night. Who's gonna be at early service in the morning? Hmm.

SPEAKER_03 26:20

Isn't uh Jim going to get the donuts in the morning? Gotta get up early.

SPEAKER_02 26:26

Yeah. I mean, those it sounds we were laughing, but those are like they are like buzz killers. You're gonna be like fun.

SPEAKER_03 26:35

It goes the other way too because we used to know a couple long, long, long time ago that we, you know, love to hang out with them and um they would come over and then never leave. Well, they just would never leave.

SPEAKER_02 26:48

Oh no.

SPEAKER_03 26:49

I mean, I got to the point.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

You were turning off a lot.

SPEAKER_03 26:53

It was I got to the point where I would just tip out. Like I would just be like, you know, finger up, you know, and I would just walk out and then never come back because I would just be in the biscuit. I would get in the bed. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 27:06

Yeah, that that's an interesting one. Hopefully that doesn't happen too often.

SPEAKER_03 27:09

But Shelly used to get pissed because she would be like, oh, he's coming back. And then leaves her to be the one to say, Wait, guys.

SPEAKER_02 27:17

But it's been so hard. Or I'm gonna run on to bed, you guys turn the lights out when you leave. Just put on the alarm when you head out. Just make sure it's 60 seconds.

SPEAKER_03 27:26

You don't want to do it.

SPEAKER_02 27:29

But to me, we're talking about those little things that hopefully will make you just a little more comfortable.

SPEAKER_03 27:36

I think that we're, you know, we're kind of talking about, you know, your social life and gathering and what makes it fun and and how to bring energy back into it.

SPEAKER_02 27:46

Energy back into it.

SPEAKER_03 27:47

We've been talking about things in the home. Um one of the things that um, you know, I have on the plate is we have been going to different concerts.

unknown 27:57

I love that.

SPEAKER_03 27:57

And I know you and Jim. Yeah, you and Jim do that. Y'all go to different concerts together. You went. Who did you go see in Red Rock?

SPEAKER_02 28:05

Oh, we saw James Taylor and then we went to the sphere recently and saw the Wizard of Oz. Highly recommend it. It's incredible. Yeah, they're the tornado is blowing through the place. Apples falling from the ceiling. What? It's incredible. Not real apples. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_03 28:21

Yeah, don't worry. You're like a little snack in the middle. Okay. Yeah. Well, um, I like that. And so, you know, we listen to a lot of different music, you know, RB, 70s, you know, 80s, 2000s. We're actually going to see um Harry Styles.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Uh uh You're going to New York?

SPEAKER_03 28:41

We're going to New York.

SPEAKER_01 28:42

Uh-uh.

SPEAKER_03 28:43

Madison Square.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

I'm so MSG.

SPEAKER_03 28:45

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

I am so going to do that.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

Um we we wanted to go see him uh kind of right after the pandemic, but we just didn't get it together. Um but I think going and doing things like that, you know, with as a couple, but then with others, you know, have you know some similar music interest and y'all like to go do that and do a little pregame like we talked about and then head on over.

SPEAKER_02 29:09

See, I love that. And I think you're bringing up the kind of the variety of I think the point we're trying to say is if you're out of time with friends, if you're out of the time you're not working and doing responsible things, is make sure you haven't settled into a rudder routine that you would didn't intend for yourself.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

I think that that's right. I in in fact, as we've been having this conversation, I'm more and more energized by the fact that it's it's that fellowship. It's it's the connectedness. And you know, we're talking about friends, but it like I said, it could be family. You could have that family that we're we're the party, right? When we get together, we're the party. Um it's family that you choose. Yes, you know, and and that's awesome. But we're talking about how do you bring that energy in? And and we've talked about gatherings and we've, you know, pulled some of our own host and social tips together.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

Like we're hosting experts, but that's right. Yeah, we're really not.

SPEAKER_03 30:09

But um but we we we do a little something.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

We do a little something. So as we're wrapping this up, what tips that would you say that just you think it's the most important takeaway from this conversation? It could be something we've mentioned or something maybe that you're thinking about that we haven't.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

You know, I think it is uh kind of what we've said in another episode, like it's never too late. And I'm just gonna, you know, use the the the slogan, just do it. Yeah. The Nike slogan, just do it. You know, I I think that it it there's always gonna be something. Right? So just figure out how to, you know, whatever the idea is, maybe you you pull it back if it's har heavy lifting, pull it back just a bit and then just uh do a percentage of it. Just just get out there.

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Get out there a little bit.

SPEAKER_03 31:01

What about you?

SPEAKER_02 31:02

I think uh just pausing to think what what's really fun and ask yourself the question. If it's been a while since you've asked yourself that question, yeah, it's it's time to do it, you know, because we all when you get into adulting and a lot of responsibilities that can just suck the life out of you. And all that social do stuff with friends can just go way down the list. And so that can be an important part of taking care of yourself, having time with friends and doing fun stuff.

SPEAKER_03 31:30

You know, I I have a smart tip.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

What is it?

SPEAKER_03 31:33

The smart tip is we are social people. We're social beings. We are, and so it's important for us to gather and to have that energy and to to to I'll I'll go back to it. Fellowship.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Yeah, I agree. And I think know what what that energy looks like. What is your version of fellowship? Don't settle into something that like what how do we end up, you know, by ourselves at home every weekend? We never do anything with friends. We we want to, but we just never quite do it. So we're encouraging you think about what that looks like. You know, get out there, make some baby, take some baby steps.

SPEAKER_03 32:09

I thought you were gonna say make some babies.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Well, no, I won't go say that because that's a whole different kind of social life. But I was gonna say, you know, just take some baby steps and ask somebody to go do something. Make it simple and get out there and have fun outside of work and obligations, love it, and all that.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

Love it, because there's a lot we're tired of.

SPEAKER_02 32:29

So, Mark, how do people find us, listen to us?

SPEAKER_03 32:33

Oh, listen, we love hearing from you, and you can find us first of all on Instagram, um, aren't you tired of, that's Y A, um, aren't you tired of underscore social on Instagram? Uh, you can listen to us on Apple or Spotify coming soon on other platforms.

SPEAKER_02 32:53

Yeah. Subscribe, please. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 32:55

Please subscribe um and share. We'd love for you to share. If if this is uh something that uh you have people in your life that you know you want to get together, maybe with that friend group, send this to them. Y'all listen to it and think about what you want to do.

SPEAKER_02 33:08

Create a supper club.

SPEAKER_03 33:08

Yeah, the supper club love it.

SPEAKER_02 33:10

Supper club group.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

Love it.

SPEAKER_02 33:12

Group text. Okay. Thank you, Mark. Yeah, y'all. It's been a so much fun having this conversation with this. I won't say just normally we say have a great week. No, we'll say have a great weekend. Yeah. Plan something fun this week. Plan something fun this week. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_05 33:25

I love it.

SPEAKER_02 33:25

Y'all have it have have fun. Take care. Bye.