You’re Not Doing It Wrong—You’re Just Not Designed That Way

What if the reason things aren’t working… isn’t because you’re doing it wrong?

In this episode of Girl, Why Not You?, Jennie sits down with master coach and facilitator Ebonie Allard to challenge everything you’ve been taught about success—and why forcing yourself into someone else’s blueprint might be the very thing keeping you stuck.

Ebonie shares her journey from early independence to working in the film and TV industry, navigating massive financial loss and even homelessness during the 2008 recession. Those experiences ultimately led her to a deeper understanding of alignment, resilience, and what it really means to build a life that works for you.

We dive into human design and how understanding your unique energy, strengths, and tendencies can completely shift the way you approach business, relationships, and life.

In this episode, we talk about:

•  Why you’re not failing—you’re just misaligned 
•  What human design is (and how to actually use it) 
•  The problem with forcing yourself into traditional success models 
•  How self-awareness can save you years of frustration 
•  Why it’s never too late to pivot and do things differently 

This conversation is your permission slip to stop trying to be someone you’re not—and start building a life that actually feels aligned.

Because you’re not doing it wrong…
 you’re just not designed that way.

CONTACT EBONIE

https://www.ebonieallard.com/get-chart

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hello, hello, everybody. Welcome back to another exciting episode of Girl Why Not You? I, of course, am your host, Jenny Blackwood, and today's conversation is about redefining success. Because we talk a lot on the show about building a life you love, going after more, and creating something meaningful. But what happens when you've built it, lost it, rebuilt it, and then lost it again? What happens when life keeps stripping away the things you thought meant you were successful until you're finally forced to ask yourself, what actually matters to me? Today's guest, Ebony Allard, has lived through every version of success, from homelessness to penthouse living, and everything else in between. She's a master coach, facilitator, and guide who helps people understand themselves more deeply through human design. Gene Keys, astrology, shadow work, and embodiment. But what makes this conversation so powerful is that she doesn't just teach transformation. Guys, she's lived it. And what she's discovered might completely change the way you think about success, safety, and identity. Ebony, I'm so glad you're here.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Welcome. Well, thank you for welcoming welcoming me. One intro.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

You know, when you listen to an intro and you're like, oh, my life. That's me. I think I'm starting to become known for my fabulous intros. So people get excited for those. I'm glad you love it. I am so happy you're here today. I'm really excited for you to share with us. You've been through a lot in life, and you're somebody who has not let the hard times keep you down. You've rebuilt, you've realized that there's different versions of you, different versions of success. So I'd like to start here because while the work you do now is incredibly powerful, it's also deeply rooted in your own life experience. So for someone listening, can you share a little bit about your journey and what shaped the way you see success and also identity today?

SPEAKER_01 1:59

Yeah. So I was born in 1980. And at that time, things like astrology or working for yourself or having a name like Ebony, none of these things were cool, right? Now it feels really different. And now it's like everyone wants to be an entrepreneur, everyone wants to work for themselves, everyone wants to have an unusual name, or it just isn't that odd or different or any of those things. But way back then it really, really was. And I was fortunate enough to grow up with parents who were super ahead of their time and who were into philosophy and spirituality, and we would have conversations about critical thinking and independent thought and creativity, like all of the time. And yes, rather than making me feel like my parents are so cool, I just felt like all I want is to blend in. All I want, like success to me at that point, was how can I get a normal job? How can I blend in with everybody else? How can I look more like other people? How can I sound more like other people? How can I just sort of, you know, be that's what will make me feel both safe and successful. And so I pursued a career in the TV industry because my talents are all creative, but I wanted something that was like, okay, how do I take my storytelling, my creativity, my need to like not sit in a in a box at a desk and be still? Nobody wants that. I'm just unemployable, right? I I've never had a proper job. So this is the beginning of it. Um I got my first job at 14 in a clothes shop because I wanted some ridiculous shoes, and my dad said, I don't have to give you money for them. Like I have to keep you clothed, I have to, you know, feed you, house you, but I do not have to buy you platform shoes like that. If you want them, you need to have a job. And so I went into a shop and asked for a job, and they told me you're too young. And so I said, if I can sell like three things in the next half an hour, will you give me a job? And he smiled at me and I did.

SPEAKER_00 4:15

Oh my gosh, I love that story.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Okay, come back on Saturday, I'll pay you cash. And so it's just, it's always been like that. I've always been somebody who needed to find my own path, but also didn't want to stand out, didn't want to be too different, didn't want to like have my head above the parapet because that felt really dangerous.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Yeah, yeah, I could see that. That is like the coolest story. I love that because it shows it from when you were a little girl, I mean, 14 years old, you were determined, right? I think determination is huge when obviously it comes to building your own life. And obviously, you're gonna talk about that a lot today. But that that says a lot about you as a as an individual as an individual, excuse me. You were like, I'm getting these shoes, dang it. And dad's like, then figure it out, girl. But I kind of love it when parents do that because it's forcing you to figure out what you're good at. How are you gonna make this happen? You're left with your own devices instead of being handed everything all the time, which really helps to shape you as you grow. So, so okay, so you get this job, you're 14, this guy's all right. You can sell here. I I like this. So then what happens?

SPEAKER_01 5:27

Well, you know what? That um that grew. I started to get a reputation as being someone who was responsible and trustworthy. And I actually, the bit that was boring was sitting in in shops. Yeah. The so I worked, I guess, several summers, and by the time I went to university, I no longer w sat in the shop and sold things. I actually had collected a whole bunch of different independent stores in the town where I grew up, and I would open each one of them, and then I would go and sit and work in one, and then I would um close and like cash up for each one because all of the owners could then hire like other people who weren't necessarily as good or they didn't have to have an assistant manager for every single shop. And I don't really know how that happened. I think I just responded and was like, I need extra money. By this point, I was also making handmade cards. This was before the internet, and so do you remember? Maybe you don't, um, magazines like craft magazines where you had form in the back. Yes. Oh, you're just giving me some nostalgia. I remember ordering my the this card is blank for your own message sticker and those little cellophane wrappers. And then like um I do like a in the evening after school, and um, I would make cards and have like this little factory in my living room utilising my siblings and like pack these cards up, and then again I would take them to an independent store, an art store in town, and I would sell them wholesale to them, and then they would mark them up and sell them on. And I guess by the time I was 18 and ready to move to London to the big city to go to university, I had quite a lot of different experiences of making my own money and being my own boss. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:29

What a great thing to have that young in life. You know, so many people were like barely ready to get kicked out of the nest. They're like, You want me to do my own laundry? You know, what are you talking about? Or like they'll never feed themselves again. They're gonna live on little Caesar's pizza and God knows what else, top or robin. But you were like preparing yourself. You didn't realize what you were doing at the time. At the time, what were you motivated by? Was it money that was your motivation, or like what do you think kept you in business?

SPEAKER_01 7:55

This is so interesting because money has never been my motivator. Now it's always been a should, and we can come back around to it. And every time I think money is the motivator, everything falls apart. Greedom has always been my motivator. I was seven years old the first time I ran away from home because I thought I could do a better job without them. And um, but you know, at 17, 18, when you know, when other people are like, How do I boil an egg? How do I do my own laundry? I was like, I am so out of here, I'm so ready to go. I love, I was just fiercely independent. And yes, you know, for those who do any human design, I'm a manifesting generator, and so you already you can see these things, right? Like multiple different skills, moving fast, quite um independent and really driven by liberation and creativity, and all of that is so obvious. And obviously, at that time I knew none of those things, and this is why I find like human design at this time is so helpful for people who are parenting, young people who don't have that same thing, you know. These days, I don't think enough parents let their kids fail, and it is so important to fail young. You know, when you when you fail at 14, when your business doesn't work at 16 or 17, you get over it. Yeah. And it's not the end of the world. And it means that by the time you do leave home and you are like in another city or you're on your own or your rent depends on it, you've got some experience under you.

SPEAKER_00 9:31

You know? You need that. You need that experience. Otherwise, it's like it is. You just feel like you're so overwhelmed, you're living in chaos, you you have no idea how to start, but yet here you are, like when you're going to college or university, you're at this point where like you need to know how to function as an adult. I worry about one of my kids. She is amazing. She's 14, but she's like still nervous to go ask like the guy at In N Out Burger to order her own food. And I'm like, girl. So here's the thing, right?

SPEAKER_01 10:01

Like, when you are 14, you can get away with asking for help. You can you can ask seriously cheeky questions, and people want to support you, and they like love the like audacity of you. Yes. Roll in 25, 30, people are not so keen, right? Right. I, one of my biggest successes was making mistakes really young. And what I used to call blagging it, right? Like just say yes, yes, and figure it out later. You know, I would go home to my dad and I'd be like, I've just accepted a job that I need to be driving for. Uh, help.

SPEAKER_00 10:41

We're gonna need to make this work, okay? Yeah, that is um, you know, putting the cart before the horse is oftentimes what you have to do as an entrepreneur, even when a young entrepreneur, because you have to, everybody thinks, oh, I have to have it all figured out before I start. But that's really not the case. You have to throw yourself in the freaking deep end to get that experience and to even understand what is about to unfold in front of you. And you're never gonna be prepared, right? You're never gonna be prepared.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

And even if you think you are prepared, yeah, everything will change. Like, everything will change. Yes, like surprise. The world changes, you can't predict other people's responses, you know. Like you have to be ready for anything. And the only way that you get ready for anything is to not take it so seriously and see it as an adventure and a game. And that isn't to say it's not um, you know, that people can't get hurt or that it's not real life, you know. Honor your commitments, look after your clients, you know, do what you we said you were gonna do, but don't take it so seriously that you won't have a go at something. Yeah, and I think this balance between like playfulness and ego is a really interesting one because one of the other things that I think I've been very successful at in my life is putting my hands up when you know I said I could do that. Turns out actually, I like people need to know that sooner rather than later. And often people are so scared, oh, I'm gonna look bad, I'm gonna look stupid, or whatever. And a lot of the mistakes or losses in my business came from not saying soon enough, either I can't or I don't want to do this anymore, and not following that little nudge that's like you should say no now, or like you need to change course, and it's the sticking and staying too long that has led to mistakes and me looking me losing reputation or or something bad happening. Yes, and so I really like actively encourage people to it's it's running a business is the best personal development work you will ever do in your life.

SPEAKER_00 12:57

Very true, very true. I um it's interesting you say that because there is when you're an entrepreneur, you decide to go out on your own, start your own business. There is a lot of times where you have doubt, you know, you're doubting, can I do this? Is this gonna work? That is different from the red flags that you're talking about. Like red flags are like, ooh, I am pushing too hard for this and it doesn't feel right, something's not working here, like I don't feel good about this, like it's not getting me the results. You know, there's a difference between self-doubt and needing to like, I don't know, manifest yourself into the place that you're meant to be within that business. But also, if you're right, there are there are certain things I've done in the past where I'm like, oh, I think this is gonna be great. And then I start kind of getting that like pit in my stomach where I'm like, oh God, why did I do that? And you're right. It's like a bad boyfriend, right? The more time you waste on it, the more time it keeps you from finding where you're truly meant to be. So I resonate with that a lot. So I'm very curious. You know, here you are as a young child, your your entrepreneurial mind is just on fire. You're doing the sales, you're doing cards, you're doing all that. You go to university. You mentioned that in your life you've had success, you had to rebuild, all those things. So, how did you go from like homeless? What got you to homeless, and then what got you to the penthouse?

SPEAKER_01 14:15

Okay, so I did my degree. I actually, again, like made some decisions there that are really critical to who I am as a human. Um, I did things like wrote or very much um supported my housemates in writing their final thesis essays, and didn't do mine until last. And everyone around me, like my the people I had helped, got much higher grades than I did. And there's a part of me that felt like I should be getting these like I wrote those, I did that, and yeah, this theme of being really generous and putting everyone before myself is a character a character trait and something that has got me into trouble multiple times. And part of my you know what I would now call soul contract is learning to be more selfish because I and I, you know, for the longest time I really wanted to be anything but selfish. Yeah, and the idea of being seen as selfish or anything less than generous meant that I very often didn't pay myself enough, didn't charge enough, etc. etc. But at university, I made a decision when I first found out I wasn't gonna get the grades that rather than spend the time redoing it or worrying about it, I would spend the time while I was still a student helping people who were like the bun to my burger, so weren't the same job as me, but would maybe want me again in the future. So my degree was in scenic art and theatre practice, don't ask, but I was working in theatre at the time, painting huge backdrops and fashion shows and learning to like yeah, paint huge style stuff. It was pretty cool. Yeah. But I went and found all the people studying film because at the film school, everyone wants to be a writer, director, um, and in the theatre school where I was, everyone wanted to be an actor, and so the art department, which is where I was and what I was doing, there were not so many people doing that in those places, and so I would make friends with all of the directors and producers and writers and say, you know, can I help you make your film? Can I help you make it to do this thing? So by the time we graduated, I had all of these contacts, and whilst all of my friends had these great marks, and you know, were walking around with degrees that were firsts or two ones or whatever, and I didn't have that, but I did have job offers in my pocket, and I went straight into earning money, straight into getting experience. And so my first career was in in the film and TV industry in the UK, and I progressed very, very quickly from art department assistant right the way up to um buyer and set decorator. So that is somebody who is responsible for everything that moves on set, and I managed massive budgets, and I got to shop other people's money, and um, you would get people also before mobile phones, so it's a whole other way of doing things. So there was a lot of driving, a lot of logistics, a lot of last-minute changes, and all of this was such good training, you know, late nights, um money at stake, angry people, clients who changed their mind, you know, all of that sort of stuff. It was such great practice for running my own business. Yes. But in 2007, there was a writer's strike in the States. And by 2008, there was also recession in the UK, but there was no new films, no new TV to produce. Wow. Because they'd had such a long strike, and what that meant was that anything that was getting made, the people who were doing art department for like the big films like James Bond were doing like TV shows, and so everyone further down had no work. Oh no. Oh no. And I went, I was like 27, and I went from making six figures to making nothing overnight. No, and within three months I'd spent all of my savings, and within six months I'd spent all of my tax money, and then I got a massive tax bill. Oh my gosh. And then both my housemates, we were living in this beautiful place. We had a four-bedroom, we had a spare room, we had extra, you know, all of these things. It was such a glamorous lifestyle for our age, and it felt amazing. But they both got made redundant, and I was like, don't worry, I've got credit cards, like everything will change soon. So, in this place of like, I trust the universe, I trust the world, nothing bad can happen. And I just kept spending, and I kept spending because I was like, You gotta spend, you've got to spend money to make money, you just gotta invest. Um millionaires are made in recessions, like all of this stuff. Yeah, that is not what happened. What happened was they both went back to their parents. I didn't have that possibility. Yeah, I suddenly had a£20,000 tax bill, uh, rent I couldn't pay, nowhere to go, and everything escalated incredibly quickly, and all of a sudden, and and at that point I was also like, Do I start this other business? And so I started, I had this idea, so funny now, for um a virtual assistant business. Now at that time, no one was oh man, girl, was doing it. Me and one other woman in the world, and she still runs her VA business now. We met on Twitter and we're still friends now, but I started like the second, the first or second virtual assistant business in the world for My Girl Friday back in uh 20 2008. And there may have been slightly local people, but we that business I started from a massive amount of debt, pretty much living out of my car and on my friends' couches, sofa surfing from one person to the next, meeting people in Starbucks and trying to convince them no, you don't need me in your office. I you don't need a bricks and mortar building, like I can do the stuff for you. And my target market was high net worth time poor clients. Yes, yes, and we did really, really well. But at that time, so I was kind of you know doing a lot of pretending, holding a lot together mentally, and within six months I had 17 freelancers working for me. Oh my gosh, we were winning awards all over the place, but I had no infrastructure, I had no idea what I was doing. Yeah, it was built. Yes, yes to everything. And yeah, within three years, whilst there was a lot of money going through the business, I'm sure you know as someone who has run businesses that scale very quickly. If you are not looking after yourself, if you've not got support, if you don't have any infrastructure, at a certain point it all just goes bad.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

Yes, 100%. When you're flying the plane while building it, it is really freaking hard. And it does. I mean, it can lead to all kinds of things. But that is that is a really cool story that you were like the whole thing when you were working in the film industry, that was out of your control, and that sucks. Like, let's just call a spade a spade. That sucks when you lose something that wasn't even your fault. You know, you worked hard, you were climbing the ladder. You were like living the life. And then before your very eyes, it imploded, and you're like, wait a minute. That can be so jarring. But that just goes to show that even when you have a job where you're working for somebody else and you're, you know, hitting the clock, punching in and out, there is no guarantee, right? There is no like you can do this forever just because you are an employee of this company now, right? So I think that the most incredible thing is that you were like, I'm like that too. Like I in my brain, I'm like, it's okay, we're gonna weather the storm. It's gonna be fine, you know, but it's like not everybody can weather that. Everybody like kind of tends to freak out and go back to like what feels safe. But good for you, my gosh. And now look at virtual assistants today. I mean, it's a massive business. So you thought of this, you came up with it, you pounded the pavement, even in a time where you're like, holy shit, I can't even pay my bills, my credit cards are maxed, all these different things. That is hard to do, Ebony. Like, that is a very hard thing to do. And to be able to see past what you were like drowning in at the time, to be able to still stay positive and see something good coming was that'd be hard.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

I mean, I didn't do it well, let's be honest. I really didn't do it well, and like so there was some, so when you have a lot of debt, that debt needs to be paid off. But what I didn't know at that age is that there are companies and people who buy debt, and this is a whole world, so it's a really, really interesting thing. I am a very emotional being, and so all I could see when I was in debt was that I was a failure, that I shouldn't have spent that I shouldn't have I that I had made mistakes, right? Like that I clearly was somebody who should be more sensible, that I shouldn't spend my money on other people, that I all of this stuff. I thought my accountant I wanted to blame anyone. I was like, this is your fault because you should have said stop spending to me at some point. I mean, it wasn't, it was mine. I went to my parents, my again, I will quote my dad again because some of these stories, like he has been incredible, and and we've spoken about it since, and it was hard for him to do. But he said to me, I cannot help you financially, but I'm here for you emotionally. And at the time, I was like, why do I not have why is why you know everybody else had like a home to go to, a parent who would bail them out, like all of this stuff. And I felt like it was so unfair that I had nothing and no one.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Yes, that's really hard because you're seeing, like you said, your roommates that just got to run back to mommy and daddy, but they're not being taught anything valuable in those times, other than hey, if something goes wrong, uh, somebody else is gonna bail me out. So you had to fight.

SPEAKER_01 24:53

I did, and I got really creative, and again, this is a theme that's like gone through my life, and so I actually got in touch with someone who I'd been an assistant for the year before, and he was somebody who was always uh getting himself into messes and getting out of them. Yeah, like what do I do? And he said, I'm gonna give you the name of someone and I'm gonna give you the train fare to get there. Oh my gosh! And I was like, okay, and so I got on a train and I went to Manchester, which is the other side of England, and I uh met this guy who said, because you have have to be done in person, um, we're gonna ring all your creditors, all your debtors, like all the people you owe money to, and they are gonna say, is is it that you're gonna let them know that you've got someone who's gonna speak on your behalf, and then you're gonna hand the phone to me. And I was like, so wide-eyed, right? So young, so naive. And he essentially got all of my debt like put on pause. He told them, you know, he told them all these stories, like, you know, I have nothing to pay, they can have a pound a month from me. He consolidated it into one thing, like all of this stuff. And I was just learning and listening and learning, right? You needed this guy at this time. Yeah, yeah. These there are, there is always a way out. There's always something you can do. And even if someone is telling you on the phone, you have to pay this, or you'll, you know, you'll never, you'll never have a credit rating again, you'll never get a mortgage, you'll never get, you know, all of this stuff that they used to scare me with, yes, he really educated me around what is possible. And he said, Listen, we're gonna pay them a month, every month you're gonna pay them a pound, but every six months you're gonna ring them and you're gonna offer them a full and final settlement figure. And I was like, What? And he was like, Eventually, they'll sell the debt to somebody else, and somebody will say, Yes, I will take that for it. And so you just have to play the long game here, and again, like one of the reasons I'm sharing this story is there have been so many times on my journey where I have thought I'm not successful because it's not been easy for me. I don't have the money that everybody else has, I don't have these things to show. And a few years ago, what I realized is I have been through every form of failure that exists. And that is even valuable. You know, there are you get coaches and mentors and people out there who have never had anything difficult happen, charging you a fortune to say, This is what I did and it will work for you, which is not true. And what's more helpful is to have someone who's climbed the ladders and then been down every snake who can say, Hey, don't stress. There will there is always a way out of this. We can get creative, you know?

SPEAKER_00 27:45

Totally. Every failure really it stings. We hate it, it doesn't feel good, but it's a win because it's teaching you something, right? It it is inspiring growth. I don't even care if it's, you know, talking about my toddler that I'm like, hey, don't don't run down that hill and then they biff and get hurt, but it teaches them in that moment, hey, I shouldn't do that again. Here's what I'm gonna do differently next time. I'm gonna walk, right? So I I totally get that. I, you know, I really want to jump into what you're doing now, this work with human design. I can tell you that I, as of probably six months ago, I'd never even heard of human design. And this was at a time where I was like flying the plane while building it, imploding mentally, was taking on way too much all on my own shoulders. It was a hard time. So somebody recommended, like, hey, I know this person. She's a human design coach. I will say, I wish I had met you because she was kind of just like a get in, get out type of person. I still feel like that I have a lot of blanks left to fill. But I didn't, I didn't understand that human design was even a thing. And I'm really excited for you to share that with everybody today because holy moly, when I, when she gave me, I don't even remember what I was called. Uh, I'll have to look up and tell you offline. But as I was reading through my human design plan, I was like, oh my gosh, like this is so spot on. Um, so can you tell us, like, this is this work you're doing for people now? It's self-improvement, it's understanding yourself so that you can be your best self. What is human design?

SPEAKER_01 29:15

Okay, let's start there. So, human design itself, like the traditional system, was um synthesized from five other modalities back in 1987. So it's not that old in the grand scheme of things, but it comes from much older modalities. So it's made up from the same information as astrology, as um what we now call the gene keys, but also that information is from the hexagram or the i ching. Um, then there is information from the Kabbalah tree of life, then there's information from the chakra system and quantum mechanics. And so this the guy who synthesized it, who had an experience where this information came to him and he put it all together, is called Ra Uru Hu. And when we're talking about traditional human design, that you get a body graph, and this information shows and tells you how your aura is designed to work. Now, it takes the information from your date, time, and place of birth, and it also takes information from 88 days prior to that. Now, in human design, we've got your um mind and the same information as your astrology, but then also your body. We've also got that vehicle information, and this it or your unconscious, and this is really fascinating because when it when we have the information of them working together, we can really start to see oh, these are the things that I think about, but these are the things that happen around me that I'm unconscious of or that happen without me bringing attention to them, and because it's based on a uh gene level and right into the cells, it can be really helpful for understanding your health and how your body is designed to work and how your energy is designed to work and all of those things. So, human sign itself is the science of differentiation and it explains how your aura, your energy field, right, your electromagnetic field interacts with life and with other people.

SPEAKER_00 31:18

So it is so wild too. And for I really want to like nip something in the butt real quick. For anybody listening to this, this is like, oh my god, what is this like foo-foo, hocus pocus? It's not. It is it is wild.

SPEAKER_01 31:31

I don't know why it's not, and I will do it really, really quickly. The moment that you were born, and we can all agree before we were born, we were energy, we were matter. We were just energy, right? But the moment we were born, we turn into matter, into physical matter. And so this is quantum mechanics, it's quantum physics. So the reason that code of your date of birth, time and place is so important is it's coded with all of the information about what is going on in your cells and your incarnation intentions and all of your um ancestry. It's absolutely fascinating. I in the same way as I can't explain time, yeah. Yeah, I can't explain how it works, but I know that it works. I then also use gene keys, which are the gates in human design, and this is the hexagram or the AI ching, and this is about frequency. So we live in a field of potential from what is called our shadow, and then in this modality, we also have a gift uh frequency and the city frequency, which is like the highest expression, the love expression, or the highest vibe of the highest frequency of this. And it shows you exactly what your specific shadows are, what your specific gifts are, what your specific full potential is, and the positions of that. So when I look at someone's chart, I can tell them their brand message, their purpose, the culture that they create, and what is going to bring them stability or not. And why this is so fascinating is what the sphere that we have that's called the stability sphere in my uh um chart is gate 47, which is to do with transmutation. And in order to find stability, you have to alchemize shit into gold. And when I understood that I am never gonna find stability in the same way as everybody else, that my stability comes from recognizing, oh, look, everything's changing, it's time to transmute it. It will go to shit, but then it will turn into gold. Now when I can see that, I'm like, okay, and I've seen it happen enough times in my life for me to be like, well, it's not wrong, like that that is my experience. So the first thing that happens when you have a reading with someone who knows what they're doing is that it's affirming.

unknown 33:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:58

Now I've had people who feel disempowered. I'm like, that if you've ever felt disempowered by an astrology or a human design or a Jean Keys reading, go to somebody else because that is not the point. The point is for you to be like, whoa, you should feel validated and self-affirmed, and then we can go deeper and really help you to let go of everything that is not yours, everything that is a distraction, because everything that you did incarnate for, everything that you are going to be the best at in business, in relationships, the specific channels that you've got, the get all of that is coded in there. And as you can tell, I'm really fat. Like I love it because it saves people years of time. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:39

I like, I love your energy behind it. Like I said, the and not to knock anybody, but the person I did it with was just kind of like blah. And and there is a lot of different facets to it where if you don't have somebody who can explain it well to you, it might go over your head. But I mean, there were things that I learned about myself that had always been there, but I didn't, I couldn't identify it until I went through this. And it was like one thing I forget. Is there is there one called like a manifesting fire starter or something like that?

SPEAKER_01 35:05

So this is a manifester or a manifesting generator or a generator, uh, reflector or projector. So there are five types. So you are probably either a manifesting generator or a manifester.

SPEAKER_00 35:18

Yeah, I think I'm a manifesting generator, but I'll have to get back to you on that one. But I it was basically like, hey, you are always gonna love to start businesses. You're gonna be amazing at starting businesses, you're gonna have success from that. However, I'm kind of a love em and leave them person. Like I'm like, okay, I'm gonna get this started, I'm gonna make this amazing, but then I want to be like, hands off, somebody else take this over, and now you run it. I'm not the one that wants to be in like the day-to-day and all the things. Like that is not who I am. But when I heard that, I was like, oh my God, that is so me, you know? But where I make myself miserable is when I do try to DIY everything myself, when I try to make myself wear all the hats. And I realized, oh my God, I'm literally going against my human design. And that's why it always feels so like, ah, you know, like I don't, I don't want to be here, although I want the business to run and I want it to have the success that I envisioned. So that was one key piece that I was like, wow, just even understanding myself better and knowing that I I can, I can get a business to a certain point, but then I have to find the right people to take it over and do the day-to-day. So that was cool. So that's like one thing I learned. But I I know that I left it going, especially after like reading my packet that I received. I was like, everybody should do this. Because one, I again, I don't think it's like something that's super well advertised. It's not like, you know, go get a tarot reading. People don't know that this is a thing. But it is truly creepy, eerie chills, how accurate it is.

SPEAKER_01 36:55

Do you know the piece of feedback I get the most? So I have different different offers, but my core live offer is called embody your design, right? Yes. And the key piece of takeaway that and it's one of those things that just it's so trite, but it's so true, they go, Oh my god, it's all just written here in black and white.

unknown 37:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 37:19

Like, yeah, like that. It really is. There's nothing like, you know, for a for a million years, the online business world, the business world, the you know, all of it felt like if I can just figure out the thing that I don't know that everybody else seems to know, then I'll be successful. And you know, now we call it kind of smoke and mirrors, but like I genuinely believed there was something, and I spent so much money with mentors and coaches and courses and all sorts of things because it was like if I just find the right business model, if I just find the right mentor, if I just if there's one more piece of information that is going to make everything make sense to me, and then I can be successful, right? The truth is you don't need any of that stuff, you just need to know you and how you work. And when you understand how you work, then we can make the business fit you, we can make success fit you, right? All of that sort of stuff, and I think a lot of people don't understand that, and I definitely wish that I'd known and trusted that earlier, yeah, and it's all perfect, and we get the experiences that we need, you know. And I'm I'm really glad that I found that kind of trust and confidence in myself now. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 38:39

Yeah, I can see that. I mean, I think it's something it doesn't, you don't even have to be somebody who wants to start a business. Like even just your life. I I think a lot of us desire control over our life, right? That makes sense. And so for me, it kind of gave me a better sense of control. Like it made me be like, okay, if I just do this differently, if I if I understand myself better, you know, it feels good. So for people listening here today, you know, what's what's like what how could they work with you? You know, how could they understand their human design? What does that look like? Because let me tell you, everybody, do this for yourself, really. Like, I I would be shocked to my core if you walked away and been like, uh, that was a waste of my time. Like, truly, I think that this is something everyone listening to this should do, invest in. It's it's about your own growth, right? Self-improvement, understanding yourself. So, Ebony, tell us how could people work with you and what does it look like to do that?

SPEAKER_01 39:36

Okay, so I'm gonna make sure that you guys all have this link where you can get your chart for free. And you can get your gym design chart and/or your astrology chart, right? And then I've created so one of the things that you said was it's a lot of information. It is a lot of information, and what makes me a master at this is breaking it down into the pieces and the chunks that you need. You do not need to be an expert in human design, you need to be an expert in your design. And so it's my job and my design, by the way, to give you practical, implementable pieces of information in the the right size chunks. So I have reading reports that are seven pounds each, right? So the first one is the human design one, then there is a gene keys one, then there's an uh an astrology one. I would just go, people then get confused, just do the human design one to start with, right? Seven seven pounds. And what that will give you is information about your type, your energy, how to sleep, how you read like all of those things. It's absolutely amazing. And then if you're like, okay, I want to take this a little bit further, then I've got the attributes reading report, and this is like 55 to 60 pages that tells you what you are made of, what is uniquely special and magical about you, what will make you what I call magnetic and unfuckable with? Because that it will show you exactly where you wobble and like what stops that, like what you can rely on within yourself. Now, people always say, Do you do live readings? And I'm like, you know what? I do reading reports first, because if you come and have a reading with me, I'll tell you a lot of information, we'll dive down rabbit holes, we'll tell stories. Even if we record it, you leave with a feeling you don't watch the recording again, or you have to like go back in and listen to the whole thing, or you get a transcript and you never look at it. This way, you get a really beautifully laid-out report that you can come back to, that you can like print out, have on your desk, like go back to again and again. It makes absolute sense, and then you can book in with me. And rather than me being a guru or someone you look up to starry-eyed, then I'm an ally and we can have a conversation about like what's going on in your life, yeah, and how can we use this? Like, what is you know, what is difficult about parenting, what's difficult in business, what's difficult about your health? Let's make it easy because that is what I'm really, really great at. And then I have my main offer, it's called the true self-trifector, because this is all about you becoming full of yourself. My thing is who the fuck else should you be full of, right? You should be full of you, and women sp especially are often restricted, empty, not full, right? And I want you to be fulfilled, satiated, and full of your whole range and to know that you have been designed perfectly. Yeah. And so, within that, my first part of the three is called the value filter, and this is based on your values, but it bridges the gap between a traditional value elicitation and embodiment of that, and shows you exactly when you're not in your values and how to get back into them. Then we have embody your design, which is the live element where we actually implement and I run that in sprints, and I give you experience experiments to go out and do in your life and then report back on. And I give you theory, but I'm like, go break it and then come back and like talk to me about it. So I love, love that. And then if you want to learn more, then I have like my teach space, which is called Kismicflix, where I teach everything from shadow work to human design to astrology. The last 14 years worth of my courses are all in there. And what that means is that it's really simple, right? You can have all three or one of those parts, and then I do like bolt on, one off, one to ones or long term mentoring. If you're somebody who's like, I just want you in my pocket, you're amazing.

SPEAKER_00 43:49

Yeah, yeah. Cause it's not always just like a hey, let's try this and here I get all these answers, and now I'm gonna be perfect forever. Like it probably does require some maintenance, like all things do, like watering the garden. So I y one other question I have for you is I've heard through the grapevine that you can actually do a human design plan on uh your child, no matter what age they are, so that it actually can help you understand how to parent them specifically better, because no child's the same and siblings are not the same. So is that is that true? 100% true.

SPEAKER_01 44:22

And if you're not doing this, like please do, please do. So um in the link that I'm giving you, which is ebonylr.com forward slash get chart, but I'll we'll put it in and make it really easy for you. And it's on anything if you find me anywhere online. You'll go in and you can do as many charts as you want for free. Okay and you can then get these seven or a pound reports, but I then have an offer that's like unlimited for£33. And what people I have my clients who have this open, like one window on their desktop, where they're like, Oh yeah, let me just run it through there. Oh yeah, let me just run and they'll put anyone through it because it's so helpful to be able to see your child or your partner or this new person that you're about to bring into your business. And yeah, I ran a workshop last week called Magnetic and Unfuckable With, and I was saying to people when you are being a really strong and clear signal of who you are, yeah, the right people, opportunities, and situations are magnetized to you. They can't not be. Yeah. And then we did the workshop, and I spoke for like 20 minutes, and then I'm like really practical. I'm like, give me your chart, give me your chart, give me your chart. And so I do like chart reads, right? And every single person has the same gates as me, but in different places. Interesting. That's because I'm such a strong signal of my gates or of these particular codes, that people are pulled into that. And it means that I can really, really help you with your experience because I've I know that code really inside out. It might be my sun and your moon or my sun and your Jupiter, but it means that I can give you examples and anecdotes and be like, this is how that feels, and then people are like, Oh my god, yeah, that's so true. And it's so beautiful to see the evidence of a bunch of strangers coming into the room that I've never seen before. Some of them are like giving me their chart details, I'm putting it in. It's the first time I'm seeing their chart, and it's kind of proof, right? Because when we are our signal, we attract exact right people to us and the exact right opportunities to us. And so everything I was saying of like it doesn't have to be hard, there is no secret that you have discovered. What you really get to do is be yourself, listen to that body, like yes or no, or you know, learn your own authority. Sure.

SPEAKER_00 46:45

And then just enjoy your life. Yes, yes, just enjoy your life, people. So I'm here to tell you if this episode spoke to you, if you've been holding on to an old definition of success or trying to force something that no longer feels aligned, which I think all of us are doing, let this be your reminder. You're allowed to change, you're allowed to pivot. You are allowed to build a life that actually feels like yours, the the one you actually want. What a novel idea, right? And if you want to go deeper into this kind of work, obviously ebony is your gal. And I'm sure you could work with everybody in the United States as well, right?

SPEAKER_01 47:20

There's no I have clients all over the world. And I also work with people who want to add this to their offer. And so if you want to like give all of your clients that come into your offer their own chart, we can do that too. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 47:34

That is so fun. I need to have you on in my uh my other business, my cart to cash flow uh academy, have you come on and do this for my coaching clients because I know every single one of them would absolutely love this. So let's let's all commit to really under understanding ourselves better, our patterns, what alignment looks like for each and every one of us. So we're all gonna connect with Ebony. Um, everything will be linked in the show notes. And most importantly, guys, don't just listen to this and move on because that's not gonna do you any good. You're gonna take one step because the life that actually fits you is gonna start when you choose it. So, Ebony, thank you so much for being here today. And everybody out there, let's align. It's not too late. We're only in almost April here. We have plenty of year left. Let's align, let's make be our best selves moving forward because, girl, why not you? Have a great day, everybody. If something in this episode made you sit up a little straighter or dream a little bigger, don't ignore it. That's your future nudging you. I'm living proof that you can start messy, start scared, start in the worst timing, and still create something beautiful. Thank you for listening to Girl, Why Not You? Now go take one small step towards the life you've been craving. Hit subscribe, leave a review if you feel called, and share this with someone who's ready for more.