Episode 4

• Jonez discusses his views on parenting and accountability. Brandon talks about the confusion growing up.

https://www.tiktok.com/@theluciferianlightshow?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

In every age, someone had to hold the light in the dark room. Someone had to stay the truth, and everyone held their tongue. This is this company in life still where nothing is off limits, no truth is too tabooed, and no lies going out.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

Let's turn that on. I need to move. I need to truth. We got the God.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

Good evening, everybody. Welcome to the Luciferian Light Show. I am Levy. Uh I support the LBGQ community.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

And I am Jones. I'm supporting the heterosexuals of America. And we are here today to talk about that. Well, I'm gonna let you say it because I don't agree. So I'm gonna let you go ahead and say it. And then like we go from there. I need someone to dump this. Wait, where am I looking? First one. No, the second one, I'm sorry, right.

SPEAKER_00 1:00

Most men will most men will most men will only his writing is very interesting, very nice. But it it's and my brain already don't work with writing, so uh that says adult, yes, only adult in admit. Oh, only um most men will only admit in therapy. Is that what you say? Yeah, therapy, they have been attracted to another man at one point, right? Something like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:42

Um most men will uh will only admit in therapy. They have all they've been attracted to another male at least once, right? I definitely don't agree. I have never been attracted to a man in that sense. Like I have admired men, I have wanted to be like a certain man. I have saw a man and would like some of those features. Can you hear from the microphone? I can hear.

SPEAKER_00 2:02

You can hear I can.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

I would I would I I felt that way, but I've never been attracted to a man. I think we did touch women's last week because I was a little bit, but we didn't really go into it. Yeah, because I think I talked about uh how I'm just not, you know, it doesn't I'm not uh sword fighting. I don't remember specifically saying that.

SPEAKER_00 2:24

So well when you just specify it as just sword fighting, which being gay or having a gay life is not just about sword fighting. I'm I'm I'm aware of it. Or why or why or why we're attracted to one another. I mean, a lot of us, yes. That's their number one, you know, what they they're looking for, which leads them to everything else, which is you know the package.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Also, mine's is also based on like, all right, so I have my sexual attractions are always separate from my admiration or general attractions. Like I've had women that I'm in love with, but I'm not sexually attracted to because I don't know, I'm not like I'm not turned on by her, but I definitely like love her and love her company, love being around her, but sexually, you know, I'm I need something a little nastier, a little more relatable, I guess. I don't know, but it's it's just like you know, I I want to kiss her on the face and take her out to all my family gatherings and and and public appearances, but it's like, you know, like um it's just not always the same, the same thing for me. It's they're always separate, and I don't know how how that's supposed to go because I was brought into the case.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Neither does that have to do with you as an individual?

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yeah, of course.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

Like is uh wait, let me rephrase how I'm at that.

SPEAKER_01 3:47

Of course, it's for me as an individual. I mean, it's it's based upon my experiences that form my perspective on the whole sexual thing. So that was based on my experiences. Those those are always things that's based on my experience.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

Now, is there a way forward to change, or is that something you have to accept, or what?

SPEAKER_01 4:08

I mean, it's just something I'm aware of that I can work with or around if need so be. But you know, like life is an experience that where you always learn and growing anyway. So like I don't feel like I'm in some box where it's never gonna get different for me. Like, you know, it depends on the experience. Uh so far I feel like the experiences I have were experiences I supposed to have. I'm not gonna lie. I can't take this. I need a fan. I'm finna go beg Johnny to like please, can I please use that fan? Because like, other than that, I'm gonna open that door, and then the cats gonna come in here and start fucking shit up.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

So we left them outside today, so that's probably gonna get meowing. But we we cut that out today, so we didn't have them running through.

SPEAKER_01 4:50

Dry that, roll that up, keep them company. I'll be right back. Johnny!

SPEAKER_00 4:54

So today, oh, I wanted to ask everybody did everybody has anybody seen the movie Him with Marlon Wayans. If not, please go see that movie because wow. The way they're trying to explain uh what's going on in the world is a wonderful way, I think, how they explain it. Little little little graphic in some ways, not more than most movies, but I definitely think that says a lot. So I think that's something someone that should watch. Uh and look a little deeper than just what they're putting in front of you. Try to go a little deeper in your mind about it. But I think it's a really good movie to see.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Oh, this is gonna work for the noise reduction, but woo. Hey, I had to something have to give. Listen to one or the other, man.

SPEAKER_00 5:53

I was talking about the movie Him, but I don't I don't know if you watched it.

SPEAKER_01 5:57

What I really want to talk about is the movie Ash and Fire, though.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

Like that shit. Well, I had it last week. Let me hear your side now.

SPEAKER_01 6:04

That was the best one so far. Like, honestly, that was the and I just got the fact that I think it's because they had already built up an emotional um attachment to some of the characters, and they had built up certain like bonds with certain characters, so it was like by the time they got to certain peaks of the story, like you were already emotionally invested. So it's kind of like everything popped off in that way. Where like by the time we got to you know, part three, I'm like all the way in. So when certain things happen or when they mention certain emotional uh um uh sensations they were having for certain situations, I can I can relate because I was there, you know, from you know the first the first uh uh movie, all the way down to the third sequence. So I think by then I think that's how it really worked as far as like the uh the uh the emotional roller coaster aspect of the movie. Right that worked really well for them, especially. And we went to see it in the uh Screen X where they have uh we didn't see 3D. We saw Screen X where that's the three. Yeah, I broke. I swear to God, I gotta do that.

SPEAKER_00 7:12

Was that your first time?

SPEAKER_01 7:13

Yeah, I want to see how my movies like that. I gotta see how my movies like that.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

What do we see? We just saw something like that.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Fire in the ass.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

No, no, no. We saw we saw something else with the 3D. I can't remember what we just saw that just came out. So me and my man.

SPEAKER_01 7:27

We want to interact more too with with the contents that's coming through. I can't really read. We're gonna have to we're gonna have to have somebody come on and do that. Like John and he's gonna like off camera to tell us like what they're saying. But right now, we have no idea what Johnny Johnny's rest.

SPEAKER_00 7:45

It's okay for now. That's probably 26. Ain't no rest this year. My baby gets to do whatever he wants. Alright, we're gonna try to say this. Um sorry. That's my king queen, don't play.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

Um but anyway, I'm gonna also need my uh my fan out there to uh kind of move around.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

I don't know why it is so warm.

SPEAKER_01 8:05

Because we use we usually back and forth a little bit. I know it's kind of tangent, it's like a jungle of chords, literally. I'm not gonna show y'all what we have to deal with and what we have to put up, but it's it's it's a it's a process.

SPEAKER_00 8:17

Okay, so wait. Did we did we did we conclude that question completely of that?

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on to the next. I feel like so you know they have labels. You could be gay, bi, straight, uh transgender, whatever what's the other one? Insane. I don't know, what is it? It's like they got what did you say? I don't know, like what are these different different uh uh factions of of uh homosexuality of uh uh circles y'all have now? Like I would like to like we'll see.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Now listen to this. Now I'm just getting used to most of that stuff too. I'm listening, I'm just getting used to that too, because I I'm not a like I've said before, probably in one of our other ones, I'm not really a label person. So I mean I I I acknowledge it here now to acknowledge everyone else. But for me, I'm I I uh labels sometimes keep I feel keep us in a box.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Because now like like you have to be basically like limited to this particular type of person or particular uh uh type or faction of people when you're out here just trying to experience life in general. So like that kind of limits you when you have a zero-din focus on only this type of people or that type of people, right? I mean that that doesn't that doesn't even sound like it's kind of free. I mean I'm not gonna say I don't want to be too free, but I'm not gonna lie, but like what's wrong with being free? I mean, free, I like to feel free, but like, you know, like I guess I am free because I know that just don't work for me. Like no matter what happens, like I'm not gonna be in a situation where um it's always gonna be like, well, that don't work for me, I'm fine with it, but like it just don't work for me. So I guess it'll always be like it's not it's not a knock or uh, you know, something like that, but really you're free.

SPEAKER_00 10:14

I mean, free is decision, is it not? Like your own decision, freedom, and whatever that is.

SPEAKER_01 10:21

Uh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, I would I would think so. I wouldn't think that okay. So my mind is not right. I don't know if you know why because it's beeping green. Yeah, it was beeping green. Green, nice. Now it's working, right? Now it's working. You gotta hold it down to make some pressure work. So we missed the first half of that, and these cats are going crazy. Yeah, they they definitely gonna they're gonna act the food this whole time. What is that? You got something new? It's probably just this. It's like just hit the restricted for some license. Okay, because you probably that's fine, yeah. Because they see us smoking and we probably curse already. And so just the bad, just the bad mouth. Yeah, especially this guy. Like who me? Yeah, the light-skinned guy. Like, he's already oh my god. When do I use bad? Mother, mother, mother this, mother that this mother now let me tell you.

SPEAKER_00 11:11

Oh, oh, if I was my other personal. Now, if I was my other personality, yes, the person's weird. You know, you've been holding on to it. You feeling the move. It's all you know, you know. I'm chilling, I'm chilling. Yeah, yeah. Let's see. Um, see, my thing is on all my stuff is on that one right there. Uh so I could read what I was gonna uh yeah, you know you can't read my right.

SPEAKER_01 11:34

So I don't even know what you're trying. What you got?

SPEAKER_00 11:37

What you got, what you got, what you got.

SPEAKER_01 11:39

Uh that was it. Just we were talking about the levels, but also I do want to um we talked about the movie. What else did we talk about? It was something else that I wanted to. Oh, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah. I got stuff for you, bro. So um, I didn't even know this though. This actually is something that I did want to talk about, and that's did you know that they are okay. Hold on. I gotta say it right, y'all. So give me a minute. I wrote it down so I can remember. But it was um no, no, no, no, okay. It was I know what it was about, so I can talk about it. I just want to say it right. So if I can't find it, I'm still gonna tell you what it was. But it was um, yeah, I can't find it. Yeah, yeah, I don't know what it's like. But anyway, it's uh certain uh schools out here that are allowing kids to change their career, career choices, and as well as their gender description without permission or knowledge, acknowledgement to the parents. So they just letting kids do it now on their own accord. Like this is something that a lot of schools out here in the California districts are practicing. Like that, like what do you? I mean, I got a lot to say about that, but I would love to hear it. Let me hear your part of it because I would love to hear your part first. Well, no, because I brought the question up.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

So you know, I get you, but sometimes when you when you start saying what you feel about it, then my brain starts turning. So now it's just terrible. No, no, no, no. But look, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

SPEAKER_01 13:10

That's I that's gonna extreme a little bit to me because Yeah, it is like I don't want like what if I don't uh what if I'm not raising my kids to think that way? What if I'm being like letting them know like they have a responsibility to their race or to their people to fucking be this way because of the gender that God gave them? Like I might be raising my kids in that manner, and you would be literally working totally against me by doing that, like, and that would really piss me off. I'm not gonna lie.

SPEAKER_00 13:37

Okay, so that's the real like float. Yeah, because how you how you're saying it, because I'm free.

SPEAKER_01 13:45

I I mean, I because now you're taking my freedom away though. Now you're taking the freedom away from me raising my kid how I want to raise them, with just the boundaries of your educational system, you're influencing that with this whole new ordeal that I literally don't think gives you any that you have any right to. Like you don't have a right to decide that, you know what I mean, and or let them decide because that's not something I'm gonna even put on them. I'm not gonna let I'm not gonna put the pressure of them deciding that right now for the rest of them lives at 15 or 14 years old. It's not even fair to the child to do that. So I feel like like even so, like even if they've expressed it themselves, even if they've expressed it themselves, it's still not fair to the child to let them in a in a state of mind. When you was 15, would you want to be making lifelong decisions at that point? Like that you're gonna have to live with the rest of your life? No, I'm not I'm not even want that pressure.

SPEAKER_00 14:32

I mean, it depends on how you want to break it down because I think if I if I if I if I had a choice, I would have wanted it a different way, which would have given me a different way. But I couldn't choose it because that's what they thought was best for me. I feel like wait, hold on. That's not necessarily the truth. That what the parents always choose is the best way for the child. It's not always the case, regardless of how, regardless of how you wanted to be raised, how you perceive your children to be, it doesn't mean because it's about us now looking into who that person is, not how we want to construct things or how we think they should go or how they should be, but if we really pay attention to what's in front of us, the person, the the child who's in front of us, you might get a different result than pressing what you think is best for them.

SPEAKER_01 15:21

I I feel that in the same token. I feel like putting, not allowing the child to be a child at that age, which is and part of childhood is having that pressure and seeing how you're gonna respond to it. Having these things set before you as standards and seeing how you're gonna respond to it. And if you're that determined or you're that that's who you are, you're that that you're gonna push through those boundaries into your adulthood. That that has to be said. You can't put that on a child in a childlike mind state, because then it might just pervert the whole the whole journey of that child was supposed to take because they're not giving the same parameters or or or or boundaries that everyone else has been given that's been put before them because of whatever reason. It's like you're taking those things away and just letting them freefall into society to just like make up shit. I don't feel like that's fair on the child, because when they wind up twisted, not realizing, not not appreciating or not agreeing with the direction they wind up in, then who are they to blame? The person who took all of the fucking boundaries and just let me willy-nilly go decide stupid shit for myself because I was feeling some kind of way at a dumbass age and where I really didn't know shit.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

But I think that starts with if if you're raising your child up where you know your child, you conversate with your child, you understand your child. When it comes to when it when but but that's what needs to happen. Definitely. So when you do that, when you do that, then it gives a different child, it gives a different understanding. You know, I wasn't like a normal child, I didn't get to play like other kids. I had to be different, I had to be grown in a child's body because I was sick. I couldn't think like children, I couldn't do things like children did. So different things happen upon people. There's it's not our measure to measure how much they do or don't do, it's about opening, letting them open up to whatever comes from them.

SPEAKER_01 17:19

But at what point do we not set a standard? Why is there a standard if someone's being something that they feel they're being? There has to be some type of structure. You cannot raise a child with no structure.

SPEAKER_00 17:30

Did you just have did you hear how I just broke it down?

SPEAKER_01 17:32

Standards are part of the structure though.

SPEAKER_00 17:33

Did you hear how I just broke it down?

SPEAKER_01 17:35

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:36

I think if you're walking with your child, so when that point comes that your child's like, hey, mom, dad, I feel this way, you'll already be clarified because you've done this point, this point, this point, this point, this point with your child. But a lot of times that doesn't come about where until you ain't had no relationship with your parents, and now they tell them, now you're telling your parents later on when you ain't had no connection, no nothing, and now it's it's it's it's something different. So no one knows any control. But if we start from the beginning of being involved with our children, yeah, then you can also have to do that. And you wouldn't have to put you wouldn't have to put stimulations on anything.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah, this is true. This is true. But we're talking about like after all of that, right? Aside from all of that, right? And and everybody doesn't get that opportunity. Some people have to work so much they don't have the luxury of spending all this quality time and uh and and operating with uh all this attention that they can give to their child because they have to do things to make sure that they can take care of that child, you know what I mean, financially, or whatever reason. But like, so everybody doesn't have that opportunity. So for those people, like they still have to go off of some type of structure or standard of how human psychology works to kind of like get give the child the at least the opportunity to express that this is not what you want to do. For real, for real. But if they're already doing it, because think about it, you might come in because somebody just talked you in it today, right? Because you just met a friend today, and it's only because you met a friend today, you know how kids get. Somebody came in and convinced you that you were gay because of how you laugh, and now you come in and tell your mom that, hey mom, I want to be listed as a girl. And she says no. But the school says you can do this, and because your friend convinced you today that that was it, that that was cool, and then that's that kid gets transferred. You get a new friend that tells you, oh, that's gay. And now you want to change back because you know what? You have a new friend that's influencing you to think that you know what, yeah, that's not really me because I'm really I like playing basketball, I like doing these things too. But like because he told me I giggle funny and we was cool and he was gay, he made me think that I was gay too because we related in that way. And kids are just that thickle-minded that in two weeks' time this can happen where they want to change it again. And you're gonna let a child literally determine what gender they want to be listed as, knowing how thickle-minded a child is. No, I don't think that's I don't think that's right at all.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Like, no, I'm just not gonna on the independent, I mean, I I agree on any child making any kind of decision on their own on their own is is not, but the process of me feeling like children that can express that they want to at that age. Um I agree because I mean I I knew I was something different, but no one wanted to talk about it, no one wanted to acknowledge it, no one wanted to no what we all know something with uh you know, no one wanted to do that, so it was always the estranged thing. Because but if we take the estrange out of everything and make and make because this is life, it happens, it's it's it's you know, it it makes it easier to then to then process so then the time that you want it to come about where they can say yes, they've taken the time because you've taught them to take the time taught teach, taught, taught them you get me. You're taking that time, you're taking that time out, so that time will filter out in the right time. Again, a lot of times we don't we're not fully present when we're with our children, right? And we don't really listen because we know everything. And if we really realize the children that are coming in the world after us are really the teachers for us. Yeah, definitely. If you really just pay attention to them, you'll actually see what's gonna happen in the future.

SPEAKER_01 21:42

Now, I did want to touch on on something that we and that was when um we spoke about uh us already knowing that something was different about you, like way before. But at the same time, I think we were caught in this, and I I think I speak for like you know, a lot. People that was involved was that they don't want to speak on it in a manner where now they feel like they kind of pushed it and made it, you know what I mean? So they kind of like steered away from it, hoping that something would change or you know, eventually, you know what I mean? But nobody ever wanted to speak on it, but everybody saw it. Nobody spoke on it because nobody wanted to be responsible. And nobody wanted to be responsible for it going that direction totally, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_00 22:27

So they keep you separate.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

So yeah, they so they yeah, they just try to overhear on the other end. And try to try to play it by ear to some degree, you know what I mean? And I think a lot of us like because that's how I was. Like, I mean, because you're my brother, like, and you know, I lost two brothers, so now it's kind of like I know it's a little different. I get aggressive sometimes, but that's my protective side of like, you know, but it's uh a lot of people just like had to like not say anything about it, just accept it for what it was and just kind of see where it goes. You know what I mean? And and I think some people possibly could hold themselves responsible, feeling like they should have pushed, and maybe it wouldn't have, you know what I mean? And I think that's why a lot of times you probably experience some pushback as you got older and into more uh, you know, more influential years of your life, so to speak.

SPEAKER_00 23:18

Well, I was really shocked.

SPEAKER_01 23:19

Because at that point, they're like, well, maybe I should have pushed, because now it's looking like it's going in the direction I I probably didn't want it to go. So now it's like maybe I should have pushed, so now it's never too late. Let me see if I can put a little push now. And then you're receiving this, and it's like, hold up, I've been this way this far. What the fuck is all of this? You know what I'm saying? It's like, what's all of this all of a sudden?

SPEAKER_00 23:39

I've always been me. So I don't understand when ruckus or confusion from other people with me is like, I don't understand, because the thing is God, your universe, whatever you believe in, okay, the head of the one, when everybody agrees you're one and you're mine, that's where you go to. You know, when that when you go through life, and really I was so protected, you just pay attention to things differently. And really I had to because people I watched people. I was a watcher. I stayed home, I was by myself. Candace and Shannon, they were they were more like outers, they were with friends, and I was like, I was like, uh, I was like, I was like, oh, I was like, uh gosh, I just lost my train thought. That was a real upper moment. I'm not gonna say the other word, but that was a really upper moment.

SPEAKER_01 24:38

I want to know the other word. I gotta know the other word. I don't think I need this other. Oh, okay. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:45

All right, because I hate it a little too much.

SPEAKER_01 24:47

I'm glad you said the upper word because I had no idea what you meant by the first word until you said the other word.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

Yeah. But I used to just be by myself a lot, so I had to like look at myself a lot. But but but even growing up, like even at church, like everywhere I went, they it was like everybody tried to shelter me from that. And and but no one really explained what that was other to not be it. So that was a complex on myself because I'm left alone without no one really telling me other than not to do something.

SPEAKER_01 25:22

Everybody like not really wanting to say too much because they feel like it either sound pushy or send me there. Oh yeah, exactly, or send you there. So they like everybody is becoming antisocial with you, with instead of you know, and but interacting with everybody else, like that part, that part.

SPEAKER_00 25:39

That's why I was very quiet. Yeah, I get it. I didn't really even talk until I was like out the house, really. Uh I really didn't talk until Zeus, hush.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

I had two summers. I had two summers to even be in your physical proximity, and both times the ages was so different and so young that like we're eight years apart. So at what 12 years old? You were fucking what five. Exactly. So like four.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Four and five. Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 26:13

The first time, yeah, because that was five to six. And Shannon was three. Like, what are we gonna do? I'm 12, you know what I mean? Like, I'm 11. Right, I'm 11 and 12. Like, so it was really like you know, a matter of like you were babies to me. Like, you know what I'm saying? So it was like seeing you as an adult and knowing how it was then and the environment, because you know, we all gotta ask with that song. What is that? We all gotta ask with that song. So, like, you know what I mean? It was like, you know, it was yeah, yeah, it was it was kind of you know, it was kind of strict, like, you know, I enjoyed it because I was around my daddy, but like, you know, it was it was it was a little strict for my taste, you know what I'm saying? Like, I didn't even I I was only happy because I know I get to go back home. Like, I don't have to deal with this shit all the time. Like, I get to go back home. I don't have to live like this forever. This is just during the summertime, you know what I mean? Right. And like luckily, I ain't got school too. I would definitely be frustrated through that shit. So I can only imagine, bro. Just to clarify.

SPEAKER_00 27:10

But so my brother is my brother because his dad is my stepdad. And that's how we're brothers, but we've known each other since we've been kids, or since I was a kid. He was already old, man. But I didn't really know he wasn't my real brother until I was seven. I thought he was my real brother. Because I never really and I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

I thought you knew, like, I knew you were real brother when it was a they never That's crazy, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:35

They kind of just went along. I'm not talking about I'm just telling my story. Like, they just went along. And I don't I don't hate my parents at all or nothing like that. I I love them very much. I wouldn't be who I am if it wasn't the way it went. But a lot of things could, but uh it's also from where they came from, too. Yeah, yeah. You know, they they didn't really get explained to you. They didn't really get the love that they thought that came from them that they wanted, you know. They they didn't get that either, you know. I mean, I know you know more dad's side of that, I know more mom's side of that, you know what I'm saying? Like I know dad's side with us, but you know the other side before he came to us, you know what I mean? Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:18

Which was way crazier and a lot more unpredictable than than it was when I actually went out there for the summer. So, and I think that was one of his main goals, literally. And I think that he succeeded in that aspect when from a standpoint of he wanted to show me a different structure a different side, you know what I mean? Because he he had known what he showed me so far. So now he wanted to show me what he felt like he should have been showing me.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

That was more structural, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 28:45

And you know, you can't you can't be, you know, nothing but admirable at the attempt of what he was trying to do because you see where his head was, you know what I mean? It was just trying to show him something way different than what he knew I have seen before that because it was everything was like sporadic. It was just like, you know, is that just something you high violence, you know?

SPEAKER_00 29:04

Is that something you just seen, or is that something you've seen and felt from him?

SPEAKER_01 29:08

Both, yeah, both, yeah, both. But you know what's so crazy? I think he whooped me more when You came that time when it was in the discipline side than it was. He was more abusive to us from that aspect than he was before that. The abuse was more towards other things that really didn't affect us, but it did affect us at the same time. It was it was indirect, like it was to you know the other adults. You see what I'm saying? He was violent with them and extra nice to us. So we actually, in a way, in my head as a child, I actually loved drunk and high daddy more than I love sober, always being an asshole daddy. Like that was like way better than you, you know what I'm saying? So it was like when I got to that point.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Okay, it's funny you say that. Because if I think about it, from that time to five, five would have been 90. So that's when I told you that story today. Right about when he went and took the records and broke them after he got saved or whatever. So damn, I lost my train of thought from saying that. What was I gonna say about that? What did you just say? I'm sorry. What were we just talking about? Damn it, we were both patting this. Horrible.

SPEAKER_01 30:18

Dang it. Yeah, you're about to rewind the tape and play it back and start back again. Damn it. Um it's over, y'all. Yeah, we almost had it. We had it. We was this close, we was this close, it was this close.

SPEAKER_00 30:31

Maybe it doesn't need to be separated.

SPEAKER_01 30:32

See, when uh when those things happen to me.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

If it comes back, then I'll say it again. That's what it is. But damn. I felt like that was a good story though.

SPEAKER_01 30:42

Why did that go away? No, they're mad.

SPEAKER_00 30:45

They mad. They don't like to be.

SPEAKER_01 30:47

This is literally gonna be a this is gonna be a fucked up episode. I'm not gonna lie, because like the sound.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

It's fine. Y'all live with us right now. Again, thank you for joining us this evening for our fourth episode. I thank you for all 71 in here that have followed us. I'm gonna really look this week and see who's like watching us and stuff and send some thanks and stuff. Uh I'm trying to program my brain the best to be about that so I can be more involved with y'all this week too, because I don't really know how this works exactly all the way, so I'm gonna I'm gonna dive in this week and then try to send thanks and hellos and and those kind of things to be a little personal because it looks like I've we've had a consistency of 69 people in here. What is that about? That's my that's my alarm, everybody. I'm sorry. And I thought I hit I thought I hit dismiss, but I hit snooze. So that's why I did it again.

SPEAKER_01 32:03

Without having to fall victim to the parts that they may have misstepped on, you know what I mean? Because they wasn't raised right, right? Like, I mean, they wasn't raised totally correct. Nobody was like, so that's why I say normal now is weird. If you're normal, you're fucking weird. Like, who's normal right now? Like, normal is being weird. Like, that's not even like if you're normal, that would be weird to me. No bullshit. Like for sure. But so it's like, you know, when you judge it from an objective standpoint of not only seeing how they were raised and their perspective on life, but also how how your life just being there and influenced or affected, you know, they they decisions from that point on. Because now they have to be, they have to look at life suddenly all the way different than they were just literally living it. You see what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 32:54

And I think that's what a lot of the uh But I think that's part of the new that you're living is what you but I think that's a part of the what you imagine what you imagine to have. Oh damn, I'm sorry, brother.

SPEAKER_01 33:05

So but that's a part of yeah, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Ah, sorry, brother. My bad. My bad. My bad. I'm trying to learn how to be silent too. I like to talk as much as he does.

SPEAKER_01 33:23

I'm sorry. But um, well, basically, I'm just breaking down how parenting and how we have to look at it from a different perspective and understand that where they came from uh influenced their perspective and what they feel like they have to do. And a lot of times the distrust that happens between parent and child happens when a child sees the hypocrisy, right? Because you you can't give it to them in a way where you're saying this is what I do, so this is what you have to do, because from that standpoint, they can't relate because I want to do it. And you're saying this is not the type of person you are, so maybe we're just two different people and you don't understand me. And then there's the disconnect. Whereas you can just be honest with them, like I did it. I used to do it all the time. You know what I mean? Those parents are usually more successful in in having trust and and giving instructions to their to their kids than any other ones, whether those instructions are be this way or that way, not my point. My point is that those parents usually have a different connection with their kids to where they can influence the decisions they make because they have that that trust thing because they've been honest. You know what I mean? And I I you know I try to do that, but a lot of times they're parents are not comfortable with that. You know what I mean? Like then I'm not comfortable telling you to do this when and then expressing to you what I used to do. You know what I mean? I don't I can't even expect you to still do it. You know what I mean? That don't seem like, and I want you to respect me in a different way. So I don't even want you to to for me to bring myself down to that level just to relate to you because I have to stay like this over you to have that control. And you then you lose control.

SPEAKER_00 34:57

So, how do we break what you're saying?

SPEAKER_01 34:58

That's the worst way, though, because you wind up losing control because of that. Because of doing it the way you're saying that authoritative way, you're causing a disconnect and you're ruining the connection that you can use to just be expressive as to what you've been through and why you don't want them to do it. Because you have you have situations that you can live. Like stories are always the best way to kind of get points across. That's why they use them. And the best way to relate is give them a real story as to why you know this. Because it's it's not like you know this, but you just telling them bullshit that you don't know, that you haven't experienced. It's just that you refuse to express to them the real the truth of why you know this. You know what I mean? That part for you is just so vulnerable that you refuse to do it. But that is the key right there. That's the key to actually getting the connection that you so desire so much with your child, right? To be honest.

SPEAKER_00 35:48

So you're saying that's what we gotta do, right? Yeah, because you best believe they feel the same way as if you we do, because if we if we just take ourselves back as a child, there was moments we felt that's why I say we are sometimes much growner. Growner, much grown. How do you say that?

SPEAKER_01 36:07

Much is that much more mature, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 36:12

Okay, great, great. Much more mature term as children than we give ourselves. We don't give our children, even ourselves, the expansion really of how our minds really were made to be.

SPEAKER_01 36:27

We're not allowed to. Like, if you think about it, everything, there's so many levels.

SPEAKER_00 36:31

Of course, but I'm saying we don't even, we don't even jog that a little bit of the extent. We all stay in the same, most most of us stay in the same little little thing and no move because we're comfortable, is what I mean. You know, it's it's beyond it's beyond those measures.

SPEAKER_01 36:48

And comfort is the enemy of progress. You will never really have real progress if you're always looking for comfort. I've learned that. So it's it's like you have to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. And that's that's how you progress. It's the only way. Like constantly force yourself in situations where you know you're not gonna be comfortable. And I promise you, when you come out of that situation, you will have grown. Like, and that's just with everything, like whether it be uh exercise, physical, anything, whatever it is, if you put yourself in a position where you're not comfortable, you do it enough times, and you you're gonna once you develop your comfort level, you can now leave. But now you've literally just grown. And when you can go in any direction, whichever direction you choose, you can just randomly pick a direction, it's gonna work every fucking time.

SPEAKER_00 37:39

Do you think most of the time when you end up in a new direction, you really are really, really new, or is it more of a surprise to you?

SPEAKER_01 37:48

Sometimes you are surprised with some of the attributes that you develop in these uncomfortable situations. Because like, and and I think those happen when when you're not really aware that that's what's happening. When you're just like, you know, you're so frustrated, and it's like, and then you get to that point, like, you know what, I'm not gonna let this defeat me. No, I'm gonna, you know what I mean? I'm finna buckle down, figure this out, and get through this. Now that's what I'm gonna do. When you do that, and then on the back end, you realize like doing that forced you to develop something that now you take with you no matter what happens. You know what I mean? And now you're a better person because of it ultimately. And the experience helps you to better see how not only just to avoid it, but feel confident whenever you oppose or approach with it in a sense where you can't use it against me because I know I can make it out of the situation. So there's no leverage. You can't think that you're gonna put me in a situation where I don't feel like I can make it out of to where I can all of a sudden be bending to your wheel. Like, no, no. That's always you always want to have leverage in every situation. So the more rounded you are, the better you are prepared for whatever you got. So that way you can always hold, hold closer to your own visions and not have to compromise along the way. Because that's what happens is you by the time you get to where you're going, your whole vision is like all the way stripped down and built out what everybody else thinks. You know what I'm saying? And now you have a lot of people. Which will crumble, which crumbles usually.

SPEAKER_00 39:06

Exactly. Because now either they fall away or you falling away from something you didn't really even use.

SPEAKER_01 39:11

You lose the attachment, you lose the authenticity, you lose the excitement you have for your own creation as to now you're looking at this combination of influences of what everybody told you, what you think you should be doing, like that never works. It never works. But it literally is part of the journey. And if you go through it or you're going through it, don't even feel bad. Like, just know that you're getting closer every time and just keep doing it. That's all. But for the most part, the only way to really know, like you can believe, and that's cool. Um I'm a older sibling, so my way of learning is different from everybody else. I have to experience, and then I trust. I I can hear people, but I've some people's perceptions is warped, and some people just outright lie. So it's like for the most part, my way of learning things is always built on mainly experience. I trust experience. And so when you're delivering these messages, like or or getting them, always trust yourself. Like that's the that's the main thing. Always know that whatever you're getting, if you're make sure you're getting what you need out of it, and and don't lose sight of that part, and know that no matter how bad or dire the situation is, like, whatever it is you take out of that situation was meant for you to take out of that situation. And literally, and just know that whatever it was, I don't care how bad it was, it was literally meant to take you out of that situation. And what you're supposed to get out of it will happen. And whatever that situation that seems so bad will literally seem like a blessing in disguise. I promise you. Every time, it's just your perception gotta be changed. It's not the situation. You can't change outside, you can only change inside. And once you change that, you see it, and then everything else literally like bends to that wheel, to that perception from that point on.

unknown 40:59

I like it. Take from him, I like it.

SPEAKER_00 41:03

A little different, different, a little smooth side. That's just weed, bro. Like it's good. No, I like it. It's good. I mean, he a little he's a little more a little bit more, but the way he says, I like it. I like it.

unknown 41:13

I like it.

SPEAKER_00 41:14

Um, I'm gonna say a couple things real quick. Uh uh for next week, real quick, like we do have uh, because it's almost gonna be our time. Oh shit. But um next week we are gonna have a guest. Um it's uh a mom. She wants to tell her story. She's gonna advocate for our moms out there.

SPEAKER_01 41:35

Yeah, a neighbor of ours, actually. So she's wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 41:38

So I I really wanted to have the other day I had a lovely conversation with her. She she is very entertaining. She's way too easy. She's gonna be one of our guests here and there all the time because you're gonna love her. But she's gonna tell her story, and her story is really wow. I I was stuck in her kitchen, like, oh my god. I even came, I even came like, brother, uh, because he already said it and we already said it together that we wanted to use her, but then like two days later, she kind of tells I because I kind of knew her story, but she tells me her story a little more in depth. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 42:11

And uh I was And I never talked to her that deep either.

SPEAKER_00 42:14

Like usually I just cut some shit on the smoke and then be like, you know, we're neighborly, but it's just being a little deeper. So and I just and I feel like her sharing her story will help her and release her too. So um, because it's pretty, I think it's pretty intense. So I I can't, she's gonna be our first one, so I can't wait. We'll have a little guest next week. Um Happy New Year. Definitely, definitely. If that accounts, um, and blessings and everything you focus and see is yours. It's it's that simple. Whatever, whatever and that you acknowledge and accept is yours. So just just just chill this year. Chill on yourself.

SPEAKER_01 43:00

Oh, we can do nothing for happy news. And I told you, bro. I know we ain't say happy new years.

SPEAKER_00 43:05

I just said it right now. See, I don't I don't forget. We may not do whatever, but I make sure I make the points on the day at least.

SPEAKER_01 43:11

I ain't do nothing for New Year's. I literally was working.

SPEAKER_00 43:13

It's okay. Next year you're gonna see how big it's gonna be. It's okay, it's okay. We're in progress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so you see us now, next year, you're gonna party with this bigger. Yeah, you know, he likes it. I'm a rapper, that's what I do. He's pretty good too. Don't try.

SPEAKER_01 43:32

We we'll be putting out some of those Parallel highlights are his I make good rappers, but I literally created a good rapper, right? From humps. You mean like a couple strategic humps, and I created a fucking has to be the greatest rapper, probably of all time. I don't think so. I I know From my very own loins, you guys.

SPEAKER_00 43:55

Right. My nephew, he is awesome. Awesome. Boy knows what he's talking about freely, too. It's not even has to think about it. It's in it. No writing. No writing. It's in it. So whatever you hear that music out there.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

I ain't teach him how to read and write on purpose. So he ain't got no excuses.

SPEAKER_00 44:12

But Jones don't even need to write it. He just speaks. Cap away from it.

SPEAKER_01 44:16

So no reading and writing. He don't need no words or nothing. Just grunts. Grunts and melodies. That's it. You figured the rest out. Grunts and melodies. Grunts and melodies. Wait till y'all hear it because it's crazy. Next level shit. In reversal music, though. Like, don't need a language. No words.

SPEAKER_00 44:33

When the young ones know already. When they already give you the spirit, the you know, the uplift, the movable of your brain, you know, different different things being tapped in your brain. Those are the ones we should be supporting out there. Those are the ones we should be really focusing on. Not not the trend of things. Just want to put that out there. You know what I mean? Like, really search for what's your soul out there in music, what you watch. Not just because everybody, not everything needs to be seen. Um because it's being seen by someone else. Or in that way, I mean you following something that you don't need to follow, is what I mean by that. Hopefully, hopefully that makes sense.

SPEAKER_01 45:27

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

But I'm gonna call this the evening because I gotta be off to the other place. So this is Luciferian Light. Got it right this week. Man, you see that? We've been working on it. We were working on it. So it's in my soul now, y'all. It's my it's it's it's it's my little boy. It's our little baby. Too much. Oh wait too much. Wait, you doing too much now? Because now you got too much. I'm too much.

SPEAKER_01 45:57

You heard it right now. I know, but I just I didn't. All right, you know what? Never mind. All right, we we done, we done. It's over with. All right.

SPEAKER_00 46:03

My bad, my nigga.

SPEAKER_01 46:04

My bad. It's a grand deal. I still ain't calling my code.

SPEAKER_00 46:08

Well, good night, y'all.

SPEAKER_01 46:13

But you know what? I don't want to call it. I want people to just like already already know. Like, you gotta talk to me no matter what's happening. You wanna know what the fuck is going on? Like you can literally like tune in at six o'clock, uh, TikTok a big old, and you know I'm gonna be talking shit. I don't even want I don't even want to go. I was looking at the level, they go.

SPEAKER_00 46:36

I mean, you were clearly on here. You were clearly on here.