Episode 15: Authenticity Wins

https://www.tiktok.com/@theluciferianlightshow?is_from_webapp=1&sender_device=pc

Transcript

Opening Banter And Setup

SPEAKER_05 0:00

In every age, someone had to hold the light in the dark room. Someone had to stay the tip, and everyone held a tongue. This is Lucifer in Light show where nothing is off limit, no truth is too tabooed, and no lies going town.

SPEAKER_04 0:17

Let's turn that light. Welcome to Luciferion Light. Well, my brother ain't got the goddamn camera on me. That's why I know what's supposed to call me on for, bro. Today I wear the fucking headphones, okay? I'm tired of being a little bit more. No, no, no. I haven't hear myself.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

I'm tired of being bossed around, bro.

SPEAKER_05 0:36

I gotta hear myself.

SPEAKER_04 0:38

Oh, you really don't. You really don't have to. I'm confirming. You're not missing anything. It helps me not. Well I'm trying to tell you is that beyond contrary belief, you are not missing anything, sir. Okay? I just want to let you know that. Like I I've heard you. I'm here. I'm I'm I am a pair of headphones for you, sir. And I can promise you, you're not missing anything. I think your life will still be just as fulfilling without hearing yourself. I think honestly, your life probably be more fulfilling if you never hear yourself again. Because I don't even want you to, I don't even want you to have that dramatic uh uh uh uh realization. I don't even know what you talk about. How you sound?

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Yeah, I took that off first.

SPEAKER_05 1:25

I don't want people just popping on and come in now.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Oh, you scared? Oh no, you scared if you scared and you go to church if you scared you know mess up the house. If you scared, button your shirt up some. You hear me? Don't hate because I can't open my chest.

SPEAKER_04 1:39

Wait, what you say I can't open my? Well, I don't know. Can you?

SPEAKER_05 1:44

Can you? Because I sure did.

SPEAKER_04 1:46

Hey, we gotta stop. We all live.

SPEAKER_05 1:48

Welcome to Lucifer in Life Show.

SPEAKER_04 1:50

I'm Levy, and this is my brother Jones. Who ain't on the county?

SPEAKER_05 1:54

It's okay. You he just got up.

SPEAKER_04 1:57

I've been up.

SPEAKER_05 1:58

And you need to fix uh face Facebook because you're not even you're not even in that one. Not even your chair. You got none but my beautiful face in it.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

You need to turn it a little bit. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Why would you turn it on?

SPEAKER_05 2:17

I didn't put it on.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

No, you know what? I like how you do stuff and then turn around.

SPEAKER_05 2:22

Wait, now put it down. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

And just like America blame and dark skin do it for. Like y'all gotta have it. But you doing that shit.

SPEAKER_05 2:30

You literally put that one on that stand. And nobody light skin has shit to do with it, right? And and the one I put on the stand is up there, and you can see both of us.

SPEAKER_04 2:40

And yo, and the phone wasn't moved by a light skin force that you created when you're gonna pass it real fast.

SPEAKER_05 2:46

No, no, I'm not. I'm glad you can see my light force.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

That's quite nice. No, no, not light force. Light skin force. It's a difference. Light skin force, way different than light. I am the light. What you seek is fire.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

What I seek is fire.

SPEAKER_04 3:09

Um, welcome to New Sister Light. I am your host.

SPEAKER_05 3:16

Never mind.

SPEAKER_04 3:17

I'm glad. I'm so glad. Whenever he said, never mind. Thank your Lord that he spared you of whatever the fuck this dude was gonna say. Because I can promise you it was not gonna benefit you in it. You're gonna be tormented by whatever images he threw in your head, or whatever the fuck.

SPEAKER_05 3:36

I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_04 3:38

Oh, oh, and here he goes. Here he goes.

SPEAKER_05 3:41

I am when I blow.

SPEAKER_04 3:43

Oh my god, bro, bro. Look, this is not the show for that. You know what? We're gonna give you a show. It's gonna be called Freaky Friday. You're gonna do all the freaky shits you wanna do on Freaky Friday.

SPEAKER_05 3:53

The funny part is I ain't really that. I mean, I am I'm not really that freaky of a person.

SPEAKER_04 3:58

In real life, I am your mouth is. But okay, I'm I didn't even mean like I didn't, whatever, man. I didn't even mean it like that. But you know what I'm saying. Like, the shit you say is more freakier than the shit you do. Let's just say that. No, that's not true. That's not true because it does match. Okay, okay. It doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_05 4:15

All right, all right, all right, all right.

SPEAKER_04 4:19

We're not doing that. We're not paying pictures. I'm gonna say welcome again. We're starting to shit all over. Welcome to Lucifer like clearly, we ain't got this shit started yet.

Guest No Show And Accountability

SPEAKER_05 4:29

We had a guest today, but my friend, he's in guess what? Wait, hold on. I need to call the guest. He's in no no no, he's in he's in like sobriety and this. And he forgot he had uh like 11 o'clock. I don't think I mean yeah, I don't I don't think he's an 11 o'clock thing uh like a couple cities away. So he told me next week.

SPEAKER_04 4:47

And if he draw if he misses shit like that, like how long y'all think this rehab is gonna last? Isn't that y'all? I can't remember his appointments, man. Like, I'm just saying, like, part of it is being a whip. And if you are like you're losing track of your schedule, you probably still open shit. Wait, no, no, no.

SPEAKER_02 5:06

No, no.

SPEAKER_04 5:07

Clearly, he's still losing track of time. This motherfucker bench, you're losing days.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

No.

SPEAKER_04 5:10

Okay, wait a minute, Michelle. We're gonna question him. We're gonna find out, y'all. Hey, we're gonna find out if this nigga really is sobriety or is he faking his sobriety?

SPEAKER_05 5:19

No, yes.

SPEAKER_04 5:20

He has a he has a sponsor himself. Yeah, also the sponsor is that's who you trust. I'm just saying, you trust that the sponsor, him and the sponsor ain't both out here looking for a motherfucking eight ball. That's what you're saying. Him and the sponsor ain't just signing them papers and they out here in these streets, like me and my therapist.

SPEAKER_05 5:38

How are you gonna invite some first? How you gonna invite somebody when they will be coming? Oh you're gonna talk about it.

SPEAKER_04 5:43

Oh, you don't miss an appointment at my motherfucking show. You know what happens, Ricky. Don't we? We know what happens when you miss a motherfucking appointment at this show. We ain't gonna take it easy, you don't give a fuck.

SPEAKER_05 5:51

I'm sorry, my friends.

SPEAKER_04 5:53

If you don't consider our time important enough to make sure you have your shit on point, then like don't expect me to motherfucking be quiet about that shit. No, nigga, I'm gonna hold you to your shit. I'm period. I I look, I don't expect people to do nothing but what they say they're gonna do. If that's too much, shut the fuck up. That's all I'm saying. If that's too much to ask for you to do what you say you're gonna do, shut the fuck up. It's simple.

SPEAKER_05 6:17

Now, now, I'm on. What I what I taught this week, what I taught this week is now hold yourself accountable to what you say.

SPEAKER_03 6:27

Can you hear that shit? The selfishness, the ego.

SPEAKER_05 6:31

Because you said it so powerfully, and if you can say it so powerfully, that means you're capable.

SPEAKER_04 6:37

I forgot what we were talking about. I ain't gonna mean a lot to you. I told you it was gonna be a random date because you know it got messed up. So wet flows. Oh, this fitting. I'm sorry, this fitting. What I mean? This this fitting, eh? Fit in. Fitting. I don't know what that means. This fitting. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_05 6:54

What does that mean?

SPEAKER_04 6:55

Somebody tell this man what fitting me. We at fitting. How you don't know?

SPEAKER_05 7:00

Oh, all right, all right, episode 15. Is that what you mean?

SPEAKER_04 7:03

And you know what? I being around my brother, I almost start to think, you know, I don't think I don't think I'm funny, right? No, no, no, like you know what? You're gonna be around his fans. You're not, and they they be like, ha ha ha ha ha. And then like he's still trying to find out who the fuck Jasmine Guy is. Like everybody else laughing already. This nigga, who the fuck is Jasmine Guy? Who is that? See what I'm saying? He wouldn't get it, right? But yeah, and uh, everybody knows Jasmine Guy is, right? I'm not even gonna. Oh, because you made that, you made that earlier this week.

SPEAKER_05 7:29

You made that name up. Okay, I was like, what is she talking about? But I remember what she said. Yeah, but I don't know.

SPEAKER_04 7:34

See, you see, and he does all my jokes like that, right? All my jokes go through a filter, and then they get acknowledged as oh, that was that was pretty humorous. But by then, we didn't all finish laughing, and like, like, bro, you're supposed to have me. I mean, even if you don't get it, laugh and just know you're gonna get it later. You like fuck that. I need proof still. You still like convince me you're funny, bro. So, like, let me get it. Why are you saying this shit? Like, stop kicking these motherfucking advanced calculus ass jokes and say some simple shit that I can understand. You know, I got a four fucking letter vocabulary. Like, I only understand if you got more than four letters, bro. Wait, I only do? Yeah, if I'm bigger than that, if I'm bigger than that, you know.

SPEAKER_05 8:13

No, no, no, no. It's the fact that I don't listen to foolishness.

SPEAKER_04 8:17

Did y'all hear this? He just now I hope somebody finds Jasmine Guy and please tell her that this ignorant man just called her foolishness.

SPEAKER_05 8:25

No, I said I don't listen. I didn't call her fool. Wait, wait, I didn't call her foolishness. I said the way you tried to bring her off as a joke or whatnot. That's the foolish thing, not her.

SPEAKER_04 8:38

No more.

SPEAKER_05 8:39

You thinking your joke is funny is what I'm saying is foolish.

SPEAKER_04 8:42

Oh monger. Get it right. You hear it?

SPEAKER_05 8:45

Get it right.

SPEAKER_04 8:46

And yeah, I'll be sitting, I'll be listening to him cackling. I'm talking about laughing his ass off. Nothing. Like, I mean, what are they even saying? I'm nothing, just like, and then you can hear him, and then I'm like, I don't get that joke. Like, I get the joke, but like, I don't understand why it's that funny. Like, what's happening with all that LOL shit? Like, you laughing, I'll laugh for real. Like, you gotta understand my jokes. Like, I don't want to hear you in this bitch cackling. I hear you laughing at one more motherfucking joke, the whole apartment going up. I swear to God, I don't want to hear another fucking. You ain't laughing at my joke. I don't want you laughing at no other nigga.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

Bro, it sounds like a little hate iterator.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

Okay, let me explain this. People that's around you for a long time, right? Like my sister, right? I my sister don't like me, but that's what I can always do. No matter what, I can make my sister laugh because our perception is the same. So shit that makes her funny, the shit that she thinks is funny, I think it's funny. Right? Same shit with my mama. I can make my mama laugh if she would listen, but you know, she don't shut up long enough to hear any in these things. So that would be hard-pressed alone. But I can promise you, you can ask any of these motherfuckers who who swebbing down, I'm lying about them something about me. And I bet you they can't tell you shit. You know, I don't want to say they can't tell you nothing about me, which means what? And I'm always talking.

SPEAKER_05 10:04

You just brought up mama. Right, mama Pin.

SPEAKER_04 10:07

No, we're gonna say that, bro. I don't acknowledge them like that. They don't even get that. I don't even get that. I don't even say that name.

SPEAKER_05 10:13

But fuck out of here. This week she sent me this thing.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Okay, we're not gonna talk about that. Let's go.

SPEAKER_05 10:20

Yep.

unknown 10:20

Woo!

SPEAKER_05 10:21

Do you know what I'm talking about?

SPEAKER_04 10:22

No, no, I don't know. I wanna know.

SPEAKER_05 10:24

And I was really sweet, I was really scratching my head. I don't understand.

SPEAKER_03 10:28

I didn't understand why.

unknown 10:30

What?

SPEAKER_03 10:32

Yeah, what she was trying to imply.

SPEAKER_04 10:34

I don't know. I mean, at a certain point, you gotta realize the fucking poppy looking at you, like, what was happening? Like, y'all was that's kind of what she did the video she sent me.

SPEAKER_05 10:42

And I didn't understand. I felt like it was. You know what happened.

SPEAKER_04 10:45

You've been in control of every fucking thing with your controller now. So whatever happened, I'm pretty sure you should have extra education on it. You should be. Like, if you don't know, then what the fuck are you doing I was talking from?

SPEAKER_05 11:02

Because I never felt that way before, whatever she sent me. But this particular thing she sent me, I'm like, is she like doing shade? Oh, for real? I felt that way.

SPEAKER_04 11:13

What was now? I'm curious. What did it say? I don't know.

SPEAKER_05 11:16

I'll have to show you later what the video is, but I felt like I'm like mocking when it comes to it. Because it could have been the beat. I don't hear no good shit. It could have been, it could have been like a positive thing, but I didn't feel like it was. Like maybe in somebody else's situation. It was underhanded, like underhanded.

SPEAKER_03 11:29

I really felt and I never felt that like this before.

SPEAKER_04 11:32

Yeah, yeah, because uh we signed with the op right now as far as she can sign, but the op looked just like her. So how fucking stupid is that? Your op looked just like you, and you was in control of the situation? Figure it out yourself, man. I ain't I can't be growing for you.

SPEAKER_05 11:45

Yeah, I was a little bit looking back and little, like. I can't even remember, because I tell you, brother, when I when I hear things I don't want to hear, I literally like block them out. I literally don't process them because I mean if I really do take it in, I'll process it in a way I ain't supposed to. So I recognize that I see it and I just keep it at that point.

SPEAKER_04 12:10

Yeah, that was my I'm allergic to bullshit.

SPEAKER_05 12:12

So it's like as soon as I hear it, it's like I just call it bullshit or not. It's the way I work. I don't know what you want to say.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

He's like, fuck you.

SPEAKER_05 12:19

I've been doing that since I was I block things out.

SPEAKER_04 12:24

How you gonna make me cooperate? You trying to make make me look stupid.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Fuck you. Fuck you, bro. I'll just do that. You can't make me look stupid. I don't have to.

SPEAKER_04 12:35

Yeah, hey look, see what I'm saying? I'm just fucking with you. All right, y'all. Y'all know. I love my brother. I love my brother. Let's just keep that. I'm gonna keep it big. I love my brother. I I fuck with him. I gotta give him shit. Can't take it easy. I'm worried, ain't love just strange.

SPEAKER_05 12:50

It comes to the city. You know, I gotta be different.

SPEAKER_04 12:51

You know, I you know, somebody walking here right now, they ain't gonna get to talk to him. Too many times, they start getting loud. So, like, off the top, yeah, I already know. Thank you for the love.

Bullying Memories And Big Brother Energy

SPEAKER_04 13:00

Listen, I love the fight.

SPEAKER_05 13:01

You like the you know, you like the I. So, what was the dude that was covered today? What was so he was a boy, he was a friend of mine in school. Let's talk about this.

SPEAKER_04 13:10

Let's talk about what did he do to you? What did he do to you? So tell him why you met. Because we was gonna beat his ass after the show, and we were gonna put that on county. That was gonna have to take the extra footage. I was gonna know he watches me. I was gonna give y'all a scientific experiment of the slapping part. Like, literally, like, wait, we can't talk about for TikTok purposes. It was gonna be it was gonna be acted out. Wink wink, right? But um TikTok shot. That was gonna be extra footage. We're gonna charge y'all later for that. That was gonna be the bonus footage. Y'all can get the bonus footage of our guests getting this shit slapped out of because uh he tried to bully my brother when he was young, and he thought his big brother wasn't gonna make it to California getting that ass. It's never too late. There's no statute, statute of limitation on bullying. I don't tolerate it, and I won't tolerate it. Yeah, I was gonna be cool while I was on the show. Do all an hour, that extra half an hour, all bonus footage, all bonus. Boop, boop, boop, bully him now. Huh? Crack a joke.

SPEAKER_03 14:11

He just joking. I'm just joking.

SPEAKER_05 14:13

I wasn't he ain't serious.

SPEAKER_04 14:15

I wanted to meet my brother's friends and niggas little and the people that had an impact on him, uh, period, because like what he turned out to be, whether you consider a negative or positive impact, it all turned out for the better, like it always do. So ultimately, congratulations to dude being a bully and making my brother stronger in that sense. Well, he won't let me bully him at all. I don't know what dude did to him, but like he created a lot of triggers. I can promise you that. We got duct tape on all the equipment because one of my brother's rampages he went through, and I had to put all the equipment back together with duct tape, like niggas do. This one got stories today. What are we gonna do about these stories? Y'all seen that day when his head was all wild like Kramer that day, that's when it happened. That was that day. He was I'm glad we got I hate we didn't get it on camera. He was like, What do you want from me, Ray?

SPEAKER_05 15:09

Wow. Only because I know my head does shake like that.

SPEAKER_04 15:14

Uh Maxwell DeCramer. But uh he was a we were in okay.

SPEAKER_05 15:24

When I was younger, I was in special classes, and we were in those classes. He was a little like a little smarter than me, so he only well, however, we eat the black crayons.

SPEAKER_04 15:36

That's the only way he was smarter than my mom.

SPEAKER_05 15:38

I had more of those classes than him, like he had more mainstream classes. Ah, so he thought he was better than you. He was kind of that way, yeah. He was kind of he he kind of was that way.

SPEAKER_04 15:50

How you on crutches making fun of somebody in the wheelchair? Like, shut your dumb ass up, bro. You don't crutches.

SPEAKER_05 15:55

I think he had crutches one easy.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

Yeah, you're on crutches talking about somebody in the wheelchair. Nigga, you one step away from being where I'm at. Shut up. Uh-uh. Fuck around with you. So you're a little too far out. That's what it really is. Look how far you literally look how far you at the plant. You are literally at the plant under the sign. You are never under that sign.

SPEAKER_05 16:11

Because you moved the table.

SPEAKER_04 16:13

You see, you see this? It's just you think he knows Tai Shi in the mental area, right? He just redirects everything coming his way. I just recognize everything. Like, no, bro, no. Okay, thank you for the love. Move your feet over here closer to your brother. You look like you're running for me. Stop running for me. Get over here. Are you talking about wrong with you, bro? Touching me. Yeah, I don't know what you you would think, right? You better think I'm in game with the way this motherfucker. You don't touch me, bro. Like you would have just touched me. You know what? We're gonna have to really dig into your childhood. Let's talk about it. Because something happened. Something happened. Oh, you know what? Let's not talk about it.

SPEAKER_05 16:48

No, nothing happened. I mean, I just always been that I'm uh I have a it's it's energy, I'm sensitive to energy, and so I just when I learned that, I just said I was about to say energy. I always like the fact they learned that uh because they is because you was half asleep, and I just put them up to try to be uh control, you know.

SPEAKER_04 17:11

I woke up and literally production was already gone. I'm like, what the fuck? Literally dead asleep. I'm like, I thought I slept.

SPEAKER_05 17:18

But now you're gonna make me forget what I was talking about. Yeah, see, because I bet you did. Who was I talking about?

SPEAKER_04 17:23

You was talking about it you got the dude that bullied you and the school y'all was in, how y'all was licking the glass in the truck.

SPEAKER_05 17:29

Licking the glass? I say I knew so. Go ahead, continue.

Being Labeled And Blocking It Out

SPEAKER_05 17:36

So, um, I mean, in school, it it was mostly in seventh grade. I mean, mostly in junior high school that it began. That everybody in the school liked to call me gay. Granted, no understanding about it, nothing.

SPEAKER_04 17:50

I just thought it was something about his mannerism because we call everything gay that's lame. So basically, you just thought they were making fun of me. I didn't even think that much.

SPEAKER_05 17:57

Like I tell you, I shut things. When I don't when I don't want to hear things, I I can shut them off. And so, and make it something else where it's softer for me to deal with.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

Whoa.

SPEAKER_05 18:09

I didn't say make it softer.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

I said what's the difference? What is the difference?

SPEAKER_05 18:13

Because making it softer is after is after the fact that's what you wanted to do.

SPEAKER_02 18:21

But so damn, you can't make me forget. So you're saying y'all was both classes.

SPEAKER_05 18:37

So I had I had you know more classes.

SPEAKER_04 18:41

Anyway, so he would be like, Hey guys, I brought his back. Oh, that's kind of cousin. What's up, Cash? What up, Cuz?

SPEAKER_05 18:50

That's my cousin.

SPEAKER_04 18:50

That's our cousin, man.

SPEAKER_03 18:52

Fucking small. Whoa.

SPEAKER_05 18:56

I would always say, but he always says the closest thing to us that really is that connects us. He always says, My sister, but he knows my damn sister, too.

unknown 19:05

Huh?

SPEAKER_05 19:07

You always refer my sister as your sister, like it's your only sister. And my sister is one of my best friends.

SPEAKER_04 19:13

I only say that so you can know which sister I'm talking about.

SPEAKER_05 19:15

But we have two sisters. Yes, why defide our sister that's?

SPEAKER_04 19:18

Because one's in Chicago, one's in California. I grew up in Chicago, you grew up in California. So when I say my sister, I'm talking about the one in Chicago where I grew up. When I say your sister, I'm talking about the one that grew up in California where you grew up. That just makes it easier for us to do it without me saying names because I don't like saying her name. It's like Beetlejuice. Okay. I'm just saying. When you say people's names, they can hear you. Like, you know what I mean? I don't even like them tuning in on my energy because they don't do nothing but abuse it. So anyway. Your family. My brother says you're my family. Like that just that just blows my mind. Like, but go ahead, continue.

SPEAKER_05 19:59

Well, the way my family is, if you my family, my family feels like they're your family. You know what? I don't know. Wait, wait, wait. This right here, this will you this one my cousin right here? Who we were talking to on Saturday, that's her brother. Who? Oh, that was her brother. My cousin I said was my Anthony Anthony Nelson. Anthony Nelson, when we was talking on Antonio, Anthony. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 20:24

His family, though. His family, his family in my head, Anthony Nelson. Anthony Nelson, I'll be listening, Anthony. I'll be listening, Antonio. I'll be listening, bro. I got you, bro. I got you. But you know what?

SPEAKER_05 20:37

You know, I get you back because you was on his side when we was on that show. And you see why, right?

SPEAKER_04 20:43

Good job. I won't do it again, I promise. Good judgment of character clearly, because I remember your name. You're like, you know what? I probably got a better chance with dude. So that that's his that's his sister. He's like, this nigga keep calling me Anthony. I'm not siding with him.

SPEAKER_05 20:57

And she said you can be his her cousin too.

SPEAKER_04 21:00

See? All right, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I I want to be every I want to be your cousin. I don't want to be everybody's cousin. I don't even want to my cousins are cousin. I got cousins. I'm gonna need to claim you be like, that's your cousin. Like, I ain't proven yet. Like, I ain't got no Dana. Like, we just like off theory because they was together, but like, don't nobody got no set proof, so we're not gonna even go there yet. I'm not claiming that shit until I get Dana results. Do you get what? Dinah results. What is that? Dinah? DNA. This nigga can't spell. Anyway.

SPEAKER_05 21:30

We already know that. That is a giving.

SPEAKER_01 21:32

He's like, how you get dinner?

SPEAKER_05 21:34

Been trying to learn my whole life. Now what? I just said I was in special classes, my nigga, and then you went on ahead and just go ahead and do that to me.

SPEAKER_04 21:41

That's that's hurtful. No, what I'm doing is showing y'all. I'm showing y'all the strength he got from his bullying. You see how he was so quick to just like that shit bounce right off him. Very true. I just bullied him and he just that shit bounced right off him. Literally, he was like, uh anyway, let me get to my story. This nigga ain't funny. Like I was saying, like, deal. Bullying, that's so genius. Like, I don't even want to bully them.

SPEAKER_05 22:03

Even when I went home with church people and all that, everybody always used to pick on me. So I just I just got I just said I was gonna master something better when I got older. And then I just got and then it was in the beginning when I was like 20, whatever, I was pretty flipped in and you couldn't say, you couldn't. What I said was what I said.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

Okay, back to the friend. Now, what about when he bothered you? How did y'all know each other? Through what friend did y'all know each other? Was he gay? Was the other dude gay? Did you think he might be gay? And if he is, we're about to find out next week when he gets on this goddamn show. I'm going, I got questions where if you are gay, no matter how you try to answer and fool us, the truth will come out through my questions.

SPEAKER_05 22:47

Okay, so um we're getting a lot of technical tests too. Now, if we're talking about my side, no, no like shade to you. But I would say I would have to say that. Whenever somebody got pause.

SPEAKER_04 23:06

Whenever somebody ever said no shade to you, they definitely just threw shade.

SPEAKER_05 23:10

All right, continue. Uh I would because a lot of times when people pick on me, I would think, really, they, and a lot of the ones that did pick on me, I did think that. I did think that it was more them being that way.

SPEAKER_04 23:25

He felt guilty because he's so sarcastic.

SPEAKER_05 23:28

He felt like this was moving in you in the first place. I was just my natural self, and people just always attack. Like again, energy. Energy has always been a problem with me in my life, with having epsilepsy, with people around me, uh, people trying to press their energy on me, and I absorb it, and they know I absorb it. But did you did you know? Not at that, not uh not enough to define it like I do now.

unknown 23:53

Right.

SPEAKER_05 23:54

But I knew I was something different in the midst of when I came around people, you know. Um, so in that aspect, I would I think that was the case. Because even if I when I went when I went back to my 20-year reunion in school, all the boys that was like talking about me like that, they were fat, ugly, still felt like the same spirit was on them when I was a kid. The whole time during the the reunion, you can see them purposely not trying to see me. Because they could see how well I looked and how well they didn't.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

So basically they were secretly, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 24:46

That or you're people that just run your mouth in your life and you don't know what you're really doing, kind of thing. Or you you what you suppressed on people so heavily, I could see it you ain't really changed it. Because you literally feel like the same person in high school. And you we 35 years old now. How do you still feel the same? Me in your presence that tells me you still have somewhere of the same character. And you I can literally see you trying to dodge me because you know what you did. It's crazy. So I know how you feel. They did. Or they or because of myself and where they're at in life, if you really approach me, it would correct you to do something different in your life. Do you know what I'm saying? Because you know what you did back then, and you see me now, and you see yourself. So unless you really want that change, you're not gonna come up to me. You're gonna still do the same thing you did years ago.

SPEAKER_04 25:47

I had two situations where I had a gay motherfucker catch me off guard. I didn't realize like I was so confused that I didn't react like I thought I was. Like I thought I'd, you know, react in anger and be like, what the fuck you said, you know what I'm saying? Like, but it was more like, huh? Like, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, no, wait, whoa, bro. Like it was like that. You know what I mean? I was one time I was in high school, I ain't gonna say his name, but he was a dude, and and now honestly, I kind of like like you can see, like he was, you know, I just thought maybe he was a little salt, you know what I'm saying? But um somehow we we wound up uh talking about something. We in high school, and I talked to him one time, bro. That was I never took that, bro. The man, we talking, mid conversation. He goes, What you think about if a dude gets you smiled? I'm like, wait, what? Hold up, what we was just talking about. You know, that is a we was just talking about shows and shit, nigga. What the fuck are you? I'm like, yeah, bro. Hey, I gotta do my homework. I don't I don't I don't never I didn't even take books home. Like, I'm like, yeah, bro. That's yeah, I don't I don't even know.

SPEAKER_05 26:54

To be honest, I think a lot of us uh I didn't know what to say.

SPEAKER_04 26:59

Like I couldn't even talk to you. I don't even want to make eye contact with you, bro. Like I didn't think like like man. He got married and everything, bro. Had kids, everything, bro. Like that's what really be like having me like bro, they are what's going on with this first deal.

SPEAKER_05 27:22

I mean, I think it kind of has ended.

SPEAKER_02 27:24

Why?

SPEAKER_05 27:25

I don't know, restart it.

SPEAKER_02 27:36

Um but happened to me.

SPEAKER_05 27:40

I mean I get to my second one, but I don't know if um so damn you keep making me stop my story, so I keep forgetting. So he so I always kind of felt that way with people, but generally him. But we always had like a nice, I don't know, it was like there still was a connection between us, which never made me like really mad. And really, he was my we shared the same best friend. So my best friend, Charles Spearman, was his best friend, but that's how we kind of knew each other. And at times, I think sometimes, and they were I think they were friends before me and him, because they were in elementary school together, and I think a lot of times I felt like he was jealous, which then that's why he would you know pick that tip particular thing.

SPEAKER_04 28:41

Was he jealous of the relationship or jealous of your general? Was he jealous of the five? Well, I think he was a neutral friend.

SPEAKER_05 28:48

I think so. I think so. I I never really asked him, but I think so. I think I think that was uh so then that's why I came attacked with me being gay and slightly this. And he was also like a bit like he liked to be, he was big. Swan. He worked out, yeah, yeah. He was he worked out.

SPEAKER_04 29:04

Can you say something about uh him and I brother?

SPEAKER_05 29:07

Yeah, but I don't know why I'm gonna say all that.

SPEAKER_04 29:09

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 29:10

Because that's that's oh yeah, that's yeah, you're right, you're right, you're right. That's his business.

SPEAKER_04 29:14

That's that's a story to tell.

SPEAKER_05 29:16

Okay. And I don't even know if I want him to say that on Mexico. That's their business.

SPEAKER_04 29:21

Again, that's their story to tell. I mean, if y'all want to tell it on our platform, definitely welcome. I ain't gonna lie. Right.

SPEAKER_05 29:26

Um that's not I wish and I wish you would.

SPEAKER_04 29:30

If you're watching, matter of fact, uh all y'all gotta come on the show. Well, we can consecutive we ain't gonna need we ain't gonna even put it at one time because that's gonna be too much at one time, and nobody's gonna really get a chance to be hurt. You know what I mean? Like they really need to be. So, but I I give everybody like, because I ain't gonna say, but, but yeah, I'm gonna give y'all, I'm gonna try to do it right now too, why it's why's um while we fresh, we can't.

SPEAKER_05 29:54

Yeah, why we're glad you can get in right now because then we'll have a story later on how we we built we built it up from this. It's gonna change real quick. Yeah, I promise you. We're doing good. We we just got these little uh what you call it? I I never know what the name is. What's that?

SPEAKER_04 30:12

Oh that no, no, no, we don't talk about that. That just happens.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

Find out when it's too late. Excuse me. Mr. Secret over here.

SPEAKER_04 30:24

Like that. The digital, they they they're they're part of the digital uh uh and if they're already listening right now, they don't need no fucking promotion.

SPEAKER_05 30:32

Well, I was just showing how we were growing. That's why I was now that's why I was saying it.

SPEAKER_04 30:36

Yeah, as long as they're part, they're they they'll look behind them eventually and stabbing the people behind them too. But at this point, let them just keep looking at us. Like, don't you worry about them people behind you. They're gonna come, they're gonna go. But the ones that that's for us, gonna be there. Whatever you say, man. I mean, I didn't get this shit from you. I'm literally following your advice. I certainly finally we go into the field with just joy. And you the motherfucker to teaching me that shit. I don't I don't get down like that. I'll fight. What the fuck are you talking about? I'm following your philosophy. Now you're trying to act like this man. Well, whatever you do, bro. Like, damn, bro. I'm trying to embrace. I'm embracing culture, bro.

SPEAKER_05 31:17

Uh I don't know what you're talking about. Uh well, that's nice. I'm glad you're um going off going along. You definitely had some because I definitely was on you for like an hour. And you did not move. I was singing like you do, and everything.

SPEAKER_04 31:35

You know what?

SPEAKER_05 31:35

When I looked up, I was like, finally my opportunity to do what he does to me. And you didn't budge not one damn day. Not one, until I said, Oh your knee. And then you say.

SPEAKER_04 31:48

When I finally looked up, and then the nigga, I felt like a lot had happened before I could tell in your eyes. The moment I saw you, because I was like, I felt like I just missed a lot of shit. I saw lights home. I'm like, oh yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:01

No, that was the second time, because the first time I tapped you, this was enough.

SPEAKER_04 32:05

Oh damn.

SPEAKER_05 32:06

Oh, you don't remember the first time. That was the first time.

SPEAKER_04 32:09

The first time I tapped you on your knee, you said. And I said, like one time.

SPEAKER_05 32:13

I said, get up, you said. So then I walk back in the room and I see your ass still there. So then I go over there and tap again. Then after I do this.

SPEAKER_04 32:22

Then that's when you was like, that's because I got up early and did everything. I got up, worked on that, did my routine, took my shower, did all that shit, and then went, got that shit done. You took the shower? That's what I mean. And this heat, I mean, you do it just because I just need a cool. I don't give a fuck about it.

SPEAKER_05 32:47

Have you been doing that?

SPEAKER_04 32:48

What?

SPEAKER_05 32:49

Have you been? Yes.

SPEAKER_04 32:53

Why not? That was something you changed you wise.

Cold Showers And Toilet Chaos

SPEAKER_04 32:56

But until we do it, then I ain't doing it.

SPEAKER_05 32:58

If you guys haven't heard about taking cold showers, you might want to try it.

SPEAKER_04 33:02

But look, look, I'm gonna tell you about my my situation. I'm traumatized because I'm from Chicago and my heat was literally off when it was cold. And I had to take a fucking cold shower, bro.

SPEAKER_05 33:15

Okay, so this is what you do. This is what you do. When you get in, don't turn it on the hot side, turn it in the mid, like middle, cold, whatever, right?

SPEAKER_04 33:27

Understand.

SPEAKER_05 33:28

Let it run. Wait, wait, let it run. And then slightly keep turning it down so your body doesn't get shocked for it.

SPEAKER_04 33:36

That's the point, though. You want to be shocked.

SPEAKER_05 33:38

It will, even at the even doing it the way I'm saying, it will do that.

SPEAKER_04 33:43

This is my thing, but you won't understand. I know that. I know it's gonna be different this time because I have options. Problem is the traumatization for me to think of that.

SPEAKER_05 33:54

Traumatization.

SPEAKER_04 33:55

I start shivering when I say I'm gonna take a cold shirt. Like my body's not shivering. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with me. Hey, I didn't bro, and I had to go to work, bro, and like it was not. I'm like, hell no, bro. I'm like, hell no.

SPEAKER_05 34:10

You get out of the coach, I have to go to the store.

SPEAKER_04 34:11

I start boiling water, bro. I ain't bullshit. I would put the water in the microwave and let that shit go. And just Oh, that's the worst way to boil water. I don't think you heard that part. So look, again, you can't.

SPEAKER_05 34:30

You gotta stick it in the microwave.

SPEAKER_04 34:32

And then I had, wait, one time, my pet egg, bro.

SPEAKER_05 34:34

So your pet egg?

SPEAKER_04 34:36

Pet egg. For the uh, so it's a it's like it shaped like an egg, okay, but it's a scraper for your feet, for the back of your feet.

unknown 34:43

Right.

SPEAKER_04 34:44

And it shaped like an egg. So, you know, I had one, and you gotta dump them, right? I caught myself dumping it in the toilet, and it slipped out my hand and fell right in my toilet. And lodged itself in the toilet, though, not actually in the toilet.

SPEAKER_05 35:02

And and what what what happened?

SPEAKER_04 35:05

Uh shit stopped going down the toilet.

SPEAKER_05 35:08

So you didn't pull it out with your hand?

SPEAKER_04 35:11

My hand ain't getting couldn't get down there. Nothing can get down. I didn't have one.

SPEAKER_05 35:14

Oh, you mean like inside the bowl?

SPEAKER_04 35:16

It was stuck, it was lodged in there, and then it separated because it's two pieces, and it's separated and then yeah, and then eventually, like it like I was able to get the shit through for a while, but that's what yeah, like this after a while.

SPEAKER_05 35:30

Uh so that one time this guy could have you just couldn't hold it no more. You just had to take it shit.

SPEAKER_04 35:38

I'm gonna tell you what I started doing, bro.

SPEAKER_05 35:39

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_04 35:40

I don't even want to tell you what I started doing, bro. I'm disgusted. I I'm I'm not disgusted, but like fuck the world. Like my crib was clean, I promise you that. And I was uh that that's that's all I had to discuss.

SPEAKER_05 35:50

No, I want to hear you already. What did you what did you oh my god, what was your method? This is crazy. No, no, no, what did we do? Let's go. They want to hear. Let's go. Oh you brought it up. What did we do too?

SPEAKER_04 36:05

I had girls over my house. Oh god. I had to go number two. And my toilet is not flushing shit. Like, it's not flushing. My sister is not at home. And even if she is, she probably definitely be like, What you, you ain't finna shit in my motherfucking bathroom.

SPEAKER_03 36:21

So my sister lived downstairs from here. I get two shopping bags.

SPEAKER_04 36:26

I placing well, like under the toilet seat, put around the toilet, and then like it coat, you know what I mean? It's in there, it's in there. I clean up, wipe up, you know what I mean? Take the bag, tie it up, not knot it up real good, double wrap it, open my window.

SPEAKER_05 36:48

Open your window.

SPEAKER_04 36:49

I throw a hammer at that shit. I'm in I'm in Rosen. Fuck Rosen.

SPEAKER_05 36:54

You throw your shit out the window?

SPEAKER_04 36:56

So hot up in the air. It went on top of somebody else's building, bro. Like, I I had to deal with the shit. I'm dead. That one. I ain't had to deal with the shit.

SPEAKER_05 37:07

I'm mad at you. But you know what? I'm proud of you. Wait, wait, I'm proud of you in a way.

SPEAKER_01 37:13

Because most I don't think most men would think to do that. I swear to God, I had to do that.

SPEAKER_05 37:20

I really don't think most men would think to like you know what I'm gonna go get it back. I came up with that on the fly.

SPEAKER_04 37:26

I was picking this shit out as I was going long, but I had bubbleguts. This shit had to go. I had to get it out. Fuck these girls in my house. I guess I'm not gonna hold this until like they leave. That's fucked up. No, I'm not doing that. This shit gotta go. So I had to come up with something, bro. And shit, I'm like, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:41

And I put it. So you have like bags of shit outside your window? Outside my window?

SPEAKER_04 37:47

I throw hammered that shit into a whole whole other block.

SPEAKER_05 37:51

Okay, so you have bags of shit, your bags of shit? Not that not even on my block. Was that just not even on my block? The one time. Not even on my block. Wait, not even on my block. But but but that was just the one time. But that was just the one time or that was multiple times. This is what I'm so you have bags of shit.

SPEAKER_04 38:10

No, well, I I I didn't know hanging out somewhere. I did it like two or three times, bro. That's the I only have to do it like two or three times. I'm just wondering if we had like I wound up taking the toilet up and you know, getting the shit out and then fixing the toilet. I sure hope so. But bro, it was bad. Oh, wait, wait. I had this, I had I had a whole bunch of girls over there, right? And then this other girl that I know from somewhere else caught herself popping up, and she's gonna come there, and there's other girls there, but she really just stopped because she gotta use the bathroom, right? But like she don't know my situation with the toilet, so I you know, and like she had the shit. Like I know she had the shit, bro. Because I I let her know too. Like, I hope you got a pick. I'm like, 'cause my toy fucked up. She went for real? I'm like, yeah, she's like, I'm cool, right? I'm looking like that. I know, bro. So she off. I do not know where she did.

SPEAKER_05 39:05

How we got on this topic.

SPEAKER_04 39:06

I swear to God, I don't know what she did. I know she was in there a while, bro. And she came out sweating. And it was my everything was clean.

SPEAKER_01 39:15

She wasn't nothing in there, nowhere.

SPEAKER_04 39:18

She cleaned it out herself. Because I saw her in the bathroom and I looked everywhere. I'm like, I know this because I'm thinking like she probably pooped in the channel. And then put it in somewhere under my sink or something.

SPEAKER_05 39:32

In the chair.

SPEAKER_04 39:33

I don't know, bro, but I know. Why would you why would you? It was spotless. It was spotless when I'm in there. It was nothing, nowhere. I don't know why we're getting so adapted. And she was sweating and it was completely clean. And she was in there a wow. Like so.

SPEAKER_05 39:46

I would think you would do it in the in the in the tub. I don't think you would do it in the toilet and then transfer it like to the tub to rinse it out. I think you would just do it in the tub.

SPEAKER_04 39:57

I don't know. I know what I did. You know what I'm saying? And I I'm trying to figure out what you're doing. Hey, look, think about this. Hey, nobody, no, nobody would be able to figure out what I did unless I told. So I can only imagine what she did. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 40:12

You told the world what you did.

SPEAKER_04 40:15

I told four people, chill out. Today. Yeah, four people. I I edit this. You gotta understand. You ain't editing this out. The fuck I ain't?

SPEAKER_05 40:24

No, no.

SPEAKER_04 40:26

You don't be editing out nothing like that. Oh, okay. I'm just gonna set myself up for failure. And something happened, and I gotta do another, uh do another Thor hammer, and then all of a sudden motherfucker catch me like a Thor hammer.

SPEAKER_03 40:40

That's what we call it the Thor hammer. I like a Thor. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 40:45

He's so muscular. Alright, but go ahead, finish the uh what happened, we'll do it. Well that was it. I mean, really, pretty much what? I mean and then through like And now you want to be your friend. Well, through the years, even after we I graduated, whatnot. You smash or not. We what? Huh? No. What? No. Okay. I ain't never been I ain't never been with I ain't never been with anybody that I knew from school or conversation. Guilty niggas?

SPEAKER_02 41:15

Wait, huh?

SPEAKER_05 41:17

What did you say? I didn't hear what you say. What did you say? I didn't even hear what you say. Thank y'all.

SPEAKER_04 41:25

I said guilty niggas say, huh? You say, huh? Guilty niggas? Guilty niggas say, huh? You say, huh? Well, I didn't hear you. Oh shit. But I never heard it. I never Your Spirit heard me.

SPEAKER_05 41:40

Okay, I'm lying. Oh, oh, see? There was one. Oh. But I don't talk to them no more either.

SPEAKER_04 41:49

I didn't got to the bottom. Y'all hear this? Yeah. Yeah, put that clear. Thank you. Thank you. I didn't got to the bottom of this. Let's do it. And look, they ain't even threatened to cancel us. We're doing real good.

SPEAKER_05 41:58

Dang. Okay. So talking

Coming Out And The Friend Group

SPEAKER_05 42:00

good.

SPEAKER_04 42:00

Like we're doing job interview, type of shit any type of shit.

SPEAKER_05 42:02

I came out in high school to send my friends inquire. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:09

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05 42:10

We used to call ourselves like a Dawson's Creek group. Literally. The stories that went on in Dawson's Creek was our life. We even we went to each other's houses. Hold on. We went to each other's houses and we watched and we watched Dawson's Creek together. Like it was really like our I was the gay one. I was Jack. I had my friend Tyler Dawson. He had blonde hair too. Uh was it Dawson? And there how Dawson has two women. My friend Tyler had two women he liked in school. Sorry, Tyler.

SPEAKER_04 42:47

How is it one gay person out the crew? Like, who you gay with? Like, like what's happening? Like, you need somebody else to be gay with to be gay. Like, you can't just be gay by yourself. Like, that's more decent. Like everybody, like, who you gay with, bro?

SPEAKER_05 43:00

I think that's more these days. More back then, we were really single, that a single self, I think. And if we did come across, then we did. But more in our age at that time, it was you were both by.

SPEAKER_04 43:11

Prince dressed how you wanted to dress, act like he wanted to act, and got more pussy than the porno stop. And and some of the premium grade vagina, might I add. Brother, how do you think I got what I got?

SPEAKER_05 43:22

That's my same. That's my same blood. Premium, bro. I already told you that was my cousin.

SPEAKER_04 43:26

What are we talking about?

SPEAKER_05 43:27

I already told you Prince was my cousin.

SPEAKER_04 43:30

Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 43:31

His blood runs through mine. And yes, you can look on Ancestry and see how we're connected.

SPEAKER_04 43:36

Yeah, yeah. I'm I was just like.

SPEAKER_05 43:38

I didn't find that out until I was 31.

SPEAKER_04 43:40

My heart started beating fast, bro. You scared me. Let's let's go. All right.

SPEAKER_05 43:43

I was just saying I understand who you were giving. I thought we just went viral for the wrong reason. I'm like, whoa. Would you what? I don't ever know. Okay. We'll just leave it there. But uh now I forgot what I was saying again.

SPEAKER_04 43:58

No, you never forget what you're saying. Me. That's my role. You can't take my role. Only give me one of me. No, really. Both of us forget. One of us gotta go. Hey, hey. We're gonna move, bro. Remember what you said. You ain't got no choice. Now you telling me what to do? Yes, yes. What are we talking about? No, we don't do that. That's exactly what we do. I'm big brother. What the fuck do you think big brother won't do?

SPEAKER_05 44:19

No, I always been my big brother.

SPEAKER_04 44:21

Did you hear this shit? You hear this shit? No, because I didn't go.

SPEAKER_05 44:25

I didn't have money for a planting. My bad. No, but that's not. But wait, wait, wait. That's fine. But I'm sorry. I'm sorry for that. Well, big brother here now. Shut up. If I didn't having you as my big brother in my head didn't leave me. I was way better in your head in real life. To do right things. So, okay.

SPEAKER_04 44:45

I can promise you I'm not competing with my version of me in your head. What is that supposed to mean? I can promise you, I am nothing like the version you had of me in your head. You're like, you was a letdown, bro. Like, yeah. Yeah, shit get real. My bad. Who was a letdown? Me. Like, I'm I mean, like everywhere let down. I guess I got a vivid imagination. I'm optimistic too, I guess. And I'm probably the only person like that, I guess, because uh, I be thinking like like fucking balloons and and teddy bears. I do too, but what is that supposed to be? Where are you? Rotten apples and sour grapes.

SPEAKER_05 45:21

Well, where where are you going with that?

SPEAKER_04 45:22

I mean, I understand that, but what I just felt like like you probably imagine me to be this, oh, and it's more like oh I did.

SPEAKER_05 45:32

No, but I knew that too. Like, what the fuck? No, okay, so it started off like that, yes. And then as it got a little older, I seen that I heard you were a different side, but it never that never adjusted what I always felt about you. Oh, it just made me want to project you more too, in my head about it, even though I only heard things going on, or I would, you know. Yeah, I hate that too, because like you are what you do.

SPEAKER_04 46:01

So like ultimately, your biggest actions are gonna define you from afar. So, like, and I know the never I never I never judged you like that.

SPEAKER_05 46:10

I think that's why I don't do it now when you're here, because I never done, I never, I never done that with you.

SPEAKER_04 46:14

No, my people, I know the stories you heard. You didn't hear the good shit.

SPEAKER_05 46:18

Right, but that never that never turned that never changed where I know you could be or what you were. For me.

SPEAKER_04 46:27

Hey, you're one of the reasons I'm a good person. I ain't gonna lie. Like that was a that's one of the biggest uh uh uh uh moments of um redirection or or directions, uh direction certain certainty, so lack of a better term. I had that I'll never forget that head boy literally rerouted me from ever being a thief in life in any kind of way. Like I get I get a pain in my back still.

SPEAKER_05 46:59

Do you want to talk about do you want to talk about what we talked about on Saturday after the fact?

SPEAKER_02 47:07

I don't remember. And then our conclusion. Do you want to what no?

SPEAKER_04 47:19

I'm trying to think into that shit right now because that's gonna that's gonna uh expose too much animosity that I ro I don't wanna even have to like address right now. I meant more of it's not animosity, but it's gonna seem that way. But it's like more of a of a perception of how I needed to see it so I can go in the direction I'm going. You feel me? So everybody

Energy Intent And Paying The Price

SPEAKER_04 47:40

played their part. Like, and it's not no big eyes or little use, like everybody played their part. Simple, right? And the thing about it is they spirit, everybody's spirit is good, right? Like ultimately, your spirit is. It's good or bad, don't exist. It's neither one, right? Like killing is not bad because like if killing was bad, how the fuck would a lion survive?

SPEAKER_05 47:59

Careful.

SPEAKER_04 48:00

No, I'm in general.

SPEAKER_02 48:01

No, no, no. Tip top.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

Understand killing in general. No, this is my point. My point is no matter what, nothing in in its purest form is entirely bad. It's the purpose behind it. Like, if you are doing it to save somebody's life, like the military killed, but they're not wrong because they're doing it to protect. You see what I'm saying? So it's not, it's not the actual thing that can be considered good or bad, even though we try to put these labels good or bad on it. It's actually the the intent that determines everything. And people try to disguise their intent to fool the physical world, but the physical world is just a result of the spiritual world anyway. So you're still gonna deal with what the fuck you're doing. Like you think you're getting away with it, and you fool the people that you, you know, you think you have to fool, so they can see how long you're gonna get away with it, long as they and you're gonna keep doing this shit. But eventually, the longer you get away with it, uh the bigger the price they're gonna make you pay. And it's just like how the shit goes, it's energy, really. Like you can say spirit, you can say you know, God, you can say angels, you can say demons, it's energy ultimately. Like scientifically, it's just energy, and and that energy exists and it has a system and and it has a process, and nobody's above it.

SPEAKER_02 49:12

I agree.

SPEAKER_04 49:14

No, absolutely the best the bet the more you understand it, the more you're able to flow within it. But to try to manipulate it or or you know, any of that is you know, it's pointless. You're still gonna fall, you know, you still gotta pay. You can't do nothing without putting work in. Whatever you shortcut, you gotta pay for that shortcut. So it's up to you.

Helping A Trans Kid Find Calm

SPEAKER_02 49:37

So I'm gonna tell the uh so this weekend, there was a uh a family.

SPEAKER_05 49:46

It was a mother, her daughter that was transitioning into being a male, and a cousin.

SPEAKER_03 49:54

And my point I'm gonna tell the story is you know what when when you become like when you become real, I keep looking up there, like the camera's not over the camera right here. I keep looking up there on the screen.

SPEAKER_05 50:08

No, because it's that one. Um but when you find yourself more grounded in yourself, you'll find yourself in better situations of the things of how you want to really help people. And it it will come into such a synchronicity uh for you the more you take time to get to know yourself. And my point of me saying this is so because my goal is always to lift people up, you know, and any when I'm using my words or anything, uh I don't like to waste my words, I don't like I've always been like that kind of person. But this this young person, because she's in in between, because she looks both, but anyways, we had this whole conversation. And and when you become more stronger with yourself, you don't question when something's being told to you in your mind to lead somebody else in the right way. So I was talking to this person's mom, encouraging her all this and all that. The two were sitting off to the side. Um the mom calls the little girl over. Little girl boy, because now they're they're probably watching me on Spotify. Yes, I'm talking about you. Uh hope you're doing good. Keep following. Anyways, so uh so the mom calls us calls them over or calls her over. Comes over, I'm like, put your put your feet in the water.

SPEAKER_01 51:35

No, no, no, I don't want to put my feet in the water.

SPEAKER_05 51:37

I'm like, it's best. I hear that you need to put your feet in the water, and actually tell your cousin to come over here and put your feet in the water too. And the reason why the mom brought them is because back at home they were teasing her him so bad every day, like down the hallways, everything, all that. And I she just had such a light. So I was just talking to her, and she's just looking. She's like, wow, wow, wow, wow. I'm like, I'm only thinking what's on you, my friend. Like, I I didn't have nothing to do. Before this, I wasn't, none of this was my business. So what's coming from right now is totally you. So just realize it. So it's important just to encourage people. So by the time I get done, or I didn't notice, but now when I stopped and thinked about it, as the conversation is going, her and the cousin slowly kept getting in the water, like flipping in the water, like weird. Not even just like, you know, when you when you get in the water, you go ahead and step down. They literally they literally, they literally are like sliding. And by the time I realized when I realized they were doing that and they were actually in the water, they've just finished like putting themselves in the water, you know? Uh and she, I said, You see you in the water now? She's like, I am, and it feels so great, blah, blah, blah. And all this stuff, right? And it just my point of that, why it was dynamic, because what she took in, what I took in, with the certain balances of how God wants you to have your life be so synchronicity for you. Uh was that the right word? Synchronic.

SPEAKER_04 53:21

How do you say it? That was not, that was the right, I don't know if it was the right word, but you definitely used it in the wrong term. You used the wrong version of that word to fit in that particular part of the sentence. But um, I don't know exactly what you meant yet. But yeah, um rephrase that.

SPEAKER_05 53:36

Synchronicity. What is that? Um yeah, but like the way you're you're you we had synchronicity together, like on her end, on my end. Y'all was sync. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 53:47

So it was right. Yeah, I mean, I think you overuse it. Yeah, it's just y'all was of course. I always use my words, but you understand what I'm saying, right?

SPEAKER_01 53:55

Well, let me give up some guys.

SPEAKER_05 53:57

No, we just haven't I don't know where you were going. But no, it's just how just how it to be and those moments can be continuous, is my point.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

Right, right.

SPEAKER_05 54:06

When you get grounded with yourself, and it it can happen like that all the time. You know, um, so just be yourself, you know, and and look at yourself in the mirror. I told her this, I told them this too. You know, it's it's important to start looking at yourself in the mirror. Because if you think about it, most of the time people are looking at you, you never look at yourself. So it's important to look in the mirror and tell yourself what you want, how you feel, how you know who you really are. Um, and just try that for a little while.

SPEAKER_04 54:37

You just Kaiser Soza me, didn't you? You said what you just Kaiser Sozay me, bro. Kaiser Soza? Yeah. You just Kaiser Sozai me, bro. You ain't never seen usual suspects? Who? Unusual suspects, yeah, bro. Unusual suspects, Kevin Spacey played his GIMP. He played this like Gimp dude that was part of this uh robbing crew that robbed this, and I forgot what the the the actual thing was, but the whole point of the movie was that the dude that was sitting there telling the story about what happened in this great dude called named Kaiser Sole, it was actually him that was sitting there, and he was just reading shit from the room and and like saying it and making a story out of it. And I just looked over here and it said right there, and then he was like, and that was the point of the day. Remember, every day we had a different focus? Yeah, and the point of this focus was to be yourself.

SPEAKER_05 55:29

And I said something before you announced that.

SPEAKER_04 55:31

And see, I know that you can't read, so I know for a fact that you didn't do it.

SPEAKER_05 55:34

Especially your reading, especially your damn shit, too. My mine were already and your reading, your writing.

SPEAKER_04 55:43

Like, whoa, why are you talking about that?

SPEAKER_05 55:44

But okay, so then you're proving my point right there. Right there. Yeah, well, how if you become more grounded, you you can just go with your own flow

Authenticity Mirror Work And Boundaries

SPEAKER_05 55:56

in the right way.

SPEAKER_04 55:56

And that's a scientific fact. They look studies uh of the most powerful uh uh mold that uh or uh energy that a person can emit. Like you can go through all the emotions. I think love is not right near the top. I thought there would be nothing greater than love. The one thing greater than love is authenticity. That's the greatest power you can emit. It's literally being yourself. That's a scientific fact.

SPEAKER_05 56:28

Yeah, because being myself teaches me how to love correctly.

SPEAKER_04 56:33

That's the ultimate love because you love yourself by being yourself. Like the authenticity is your self-love. That's like that's the greatest burning, that's the greatest love you can have. Like love, like without authenticity, love can't be as powerful. You see what I'm saying? Your love is greater when it's authentic because you truly love yourself and the good and bad of you. So you take that with everything in everybody. You see what I'm saying? So it's it's genuine love.

SPEAKER_05 57:00

Right, because you because you understand authenticity. Yes. With that, that means you're acknowledging the gifts that were given to you. You're no longer denying the way you use them or they come upon you. There's no more excuse. It's more that's the main thing. It is what you are.

SPEAKER_04 57:20

There's no more excuses, and that's the main thing. You stop giving yourself excuses because it's like, this is who I am, this is what I love to do. What's the excuse not doing what the fuck I like to do? Like, who around me other than it's worth me not doing what the fuck I want to do? Like despite what everybody trying to say about life and these institutions and what you should be doing, and you gotta do this and you gotta do that. Fuck all that. Look, what is it about any of that shit that make me not want to or or try to figure out or desire or still like do what the fuck I want to do? Like it's I don't I don't have to validate myself. I'm here. I didn't ask to be, I'm just here, and here I am. And like validation is self-explanatory. I don't have to say shit. I can do what the fuck I make me happy. If you don't like it, look that way, motherfucker. You know what I'm saying? What you want me to do?

SPEAKER_05 58:10

Like, but what's it because you could say I could do what it makes me happy, but sometimes what makes people happy ain't the right thing. This is true. This is true. So how do you how do you the thing that gives you so you gotta balance that's a slippery slope, right?

SPEAKER_04 58:28

Because like they say that, and a fucking serial killer can be like that's right, he's it made him happy. But something traumatized that man, and that's not something that's so it ain't about being your happiness, it's about definitely it's about your happiness. But nine times out of ten, your happiness does not, if your happiness resides in somebody else's misery in any type of way, fix that first.

SPEAKER_05 58:49

That's better said.

SPEAKER_04 58:50

Fix that first. Like there should be nothing about anybody else's misery that makes you happy. If anything about somebody else's sadness gives you joy, fix that and then go out into the world to whatever gives you the most sad. Yes, yes, because that that is what disrupts everything. Thank you. Because now I have to infringe on what your goal of your happiness is to get mad. And that's gonna cause an imbalance because somebody's not happy.

SPEAKER_05 59:19

Thank you for clearing that up.

SPEAKER_04 59:20

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's that's I needed to because like that was that was gone, yeah, yeah. And it's so pure that you would think you can go wrong, but look where we at. Right. You feel me?

SPEAKER_05 59:31

So it is what it is, but it's and that's why I say words is what you make them. The intentions, again, it is what you make them because they can mean so many things and everything, right?

SPEAKER_04 59:42

So I could be like, motherfucker. I could be like, motherfucker. Right. Same word, right? But my intention behind them is different. Right. So it had a totally different meaning. Right. You feel what I'm saying? So yeah, it's not the word, it's the intention, man. And remember that. Like people can get into words, first words, whatever. Your intention behind the word means everything, right? Like even if I say the time frickin' the time. It's just bad as fuck. If I intend to say fuck, that's the same shit. And my intention behind it, that's why a lot of times parents, and I'm I honor those parents, that when a motherfucking kid gets mad and say, oh, darn it, like, watch your tone. Like, wait, hold on. I said, darn it. I don't give a for what you said. The intention, the tone behind it, that's that's intolerable. You know what I mean? Watch your intentions and what you say. I don't care. The word is a, you know what I mean? The word has no meaning without intention. Right. So, yeah, that part. But yeah, this week, the focus would be on, I didn't. Oh my, whatever. Hey, this week the focus is gonna be on being yourself, be yourself, your authentic self. Like the person that you are the you are made to see the world the way you see it for a reason. Find the healthiest way to express that, that gives you the most, the most fulfillment, that makes you feel the most complete. That's really the whole goal of life. Don't let nobody else stop you from doing what you feel like, because in the end, you're the one gonna be stuck looking in the mirror while the rest of them still continue to do what they want to do, which is make other people's lives miserable. And now you're sitting in the mirror looking miserable because you let all of these people make your life miserable because that's what they want to do. And you're not doing what you want to do, doing what you thought they wanted you to do, and all they wanted to do was make your life miserable. Enjoy.

SPEAKER_05 1:01:25

And that's why I say go to the mirror and start talking to yourself. You can look at it. When we go in the mirror and we dance and you do whatnot, a lot of times when you do that too, you dancing for the thought of something else a lot of times. Someone else seeing you, you do do do. No, when you dance, when I'm talking about doing this particular thing, go if you like to dance, dance in the mirror for you. That's that seeking external. For you and watch how things will change. Yep. They gave us a restriction.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:00

What I do not. What I do not.

SPEAKER_05 1:02:02

But we almost done. But um yes, so this week too, with being being yourself, go in the mirror and tell yourself this week what yourself is.

SPEAKER_03 1:02:17

I'm sorry?

SPEAKER_05 1:02:22

Um but remember that a mirror is a reflection. So you if you don't like your reflection, speak to your yourself differently. Fix it in the reflection that you see. Because you are beautiful, you are worth it, and you are deserving of what you feel you need to do in the right.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:46

But only you can prove that. Right. And only to yourself. It doesn't matter what nobody else thinks. You gotta prove it to yourself. Like as long as I can look myself in the mirror and say, hey, I did what I said I was gonna do. I don't give a fuck what nobody else said I was gonna do. I don't give a fuck what I told you I was gonna do. I did what I told myself I was gonna do, I'm good.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:03

And with that, when when you do that, the right people will be placed in front of you to jog what I'm trying to teach you to do. It would put it, and it would be so simple because you looked at yourself in the face first about whatever it was and how I wasn't gonna be moved, or how I was gonna be this and not that.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:27

So this that flippity flap, and you keep running on the shape.

SPEAKER_05 1:03:33

Enjoy that stuff about yourself. It's not something harmful for yourself, enjoy it. It's something for you, it's for you to understand, and it is the way, if you take a second and think, it is the way you ask to learn. And if you're learning something in a way you don't want to learn anymore, just ask how to do it differently.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:55

I'm gonna rewind that like four times before I actually catch that on somewhere.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:00

I said that though, right?

SPEAKER_04 1:04:01

Yeah, I mean, I know you know that's I'm glad you I when I analyze it, I realize you always keep track of what you're saying. I keep track.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:09

I try and I'd be like, I try because I don't I don't want to just push things out there. I don't want to just and I really want the people when I tell people things or share things with people, I I try to phrase things in the way so you reflect you asking the question to yourself first. Not even that I asked you.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:33

I'll be feeling like you're doing it on purpose. Now you're like, you thought that was a twister. Well, wait till I give you this one. You thought that was a brain fuck, bro. Oh, I got you.

SPEAKER_05 1:04:41

Like for real, because it's not my point, it's not my place to judge. It's not my place to judge, it's not my place to judge.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:48

You I swear to God, bro. You I I'm I'm you are like gonna be like the Mr. Miyagi, the Yoda, like you got that. That's your role, bro. That is your role.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:58

But um Um, when are you coming? Well, I was gonna say who was up, Shannon. No, Shannon, Candice? Yeah, y'all gotta come on the show. Whenever, next week.

SPEAKER_05 1:05:16

Shelada. Um called me, I called you. But anyway. Yes, so just just just do that for yourself and just see and it and then keep doing keep doing it, you know what I'm saying? And then that I'll teach you too, like what your face expressions are, when you're angry, when you you know, you can you can really feel your face. So you don't always have to just give people your energy, whether you got it or not.

SPEAKER_04 1:05:47

No more than if somebody is like disrupting my energy, your eyes are are real key to your energy. Your attention is real key to your your attention is real key to your energy and Your eyes are real key to your attention. Right. So, like, I will literally look past you like you're not there and talk to the person behind you. Like, like if you disrupt my energy, like I'm not gonna acknowledge you. Like, like line in, get in my frequency, or don't. Like, either way, I'm not I'm not finna give that no type of, you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_05 1:06:17

Either way, I'm just but you know, I think I've mastered it so much. Like, if I really step away, if people know me or am around some and I step away, they already know what the problem is.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:27

Yeah, for me. Oh, we grown, we grown. I ain't gotta explain shit. We know what you did. I ain't gotta look, I don't care what nobody's doing.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:33

But I talked to nobody talk to anybody. I can I can I can to the burses, to the goodest, to the richest, to the poorest. I can talk to whoever. I swear to you. Y'all make me feel certain, you'll know, because I won't be there.

SPEAKER_04 1:06:46

It's understood, don't need to be explained. I swear to God, we're grown. Like, especially if I'm gonna be able to do that. Hey, I just move how I'm gonna move. As soon as I see shit, ain't I ain't gonna explain myself.

SPEAKER_05 1:06:56

Because I I'm a person that I will, I will. So I gotta do it. The thing is I will explain myself to you. I tell you what. But after I explain myself to you, you gonna set me up a crib, getting a few. After I explain myself to you, you don't get it. I I don't know why why why I would hang around. I don't know. Especially if I've been honest about I do that just so they know whatever. After I do it, I don't feel like I need to keep doing it.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:19

Unless you sanctionate and my condition is part of me having a stuffing situation and that's what you need to know, I ain't telling you shit.

SPEAKER_05 1:07:27

What are you gonna say for you for?

SPEAKER_04 1:07:29

You helping me?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:29

Trust me, if I'm saying something to them, if I'm saying what I'm saying right now, it's somebody that needs to hear it, whether it needed to be said or not.

SPEAKER_04 1:07:39

I get that. But like from my standpoint, like I just feel like if you're not helping me with the decision I'm making, or or even with the decision I'm not making, if you're not like, and that what why do I have to explain to you what the fuck I'm doing? You know what I'm saying? Like, why?

SPEAKER_05 1:07:57

At what point do I have to like get no I don't need an explanation because I mean I'll come more to that point because I would it would I would probably say that I probably would have said it like much longer than I do now. Like I probably would have drawn it out and said it to people who said it to people. So I'm learning not to have to say what you're talking about. Because I I just care about people's feelings, so I do explain some things about things when I don't need to.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:25

Imagine this, imagine this. I slap a spark off you and then look at you. And I ain't gotta tell you why I did that. You ain't slap.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:32

I'm not, I'm not gonna say he ain't slapping nobody. We don't do that around here.

unknown 1:08:37

Right.

SPEAKER_04 1:08:37

I pretend slap somebody. Pretend, I pretend slap somebody. And uh my point is like and just look at you. And guess what? I don't have to tell you why I just slapped you. You can ask me why. I'm gonna do is look at you. You're gonna run through your head every reason I have to slap you, every reason I have to.

SPEAKER_05 1:08:58

Do you realize that really literally what well we got caught off last time for? And you're gonna keep going and no strategically. No, because if you get too many of them, then we can't do none of it.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:09

Oh, yeah, you can't ride in the car with the gun, man. Like, oh my god, oh, this handy and the ass motherfucker. Oh, okay, okay. I'll put the gun up. God damn.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:18

Well, we appreciate it.

Closing Thoughts Turn On The Light

SPEAKER_04 1:09:20

I hope your slap fight save us.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:22

You guys join us today. Um, have a wonderful week. And we will see you.

SPEAKER_04 1:09:30

Oh, oh, now we're closing the round. Yeah, it's already still convenient, man.

SPEAKER_05 1:09:35

It's already tired. I gotta catch your ass up. I gotta catch your ass up. Jimmy. We ain't gonna have no shit, really. Turn on the lights, baby. This is here.