Ep 4 : Ducklings Day Nursery Behaviour

Right ... let's look at behaviour.  How we support and understand why children behave like they do.  Guidance for parents for behaviour strategies.  Listen to the practitioners as they share good practise and share insight from relevant training and their extensive experience in this area. 

Any questions please do not hesitate to contact us - hello@family-corner.org.uk

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:01

This is um I don't even know how many we've done at Ducklin's Day nursery now. But we are here at SCEM today. We're going to look at behaviour, which is a huge subject, which uh even in the conversations we've had just having a little bit of a planning meeting, it's wide, it's big. We all know it. That's Jean interrupting me, as usual, with miming across the room. So, so right, so right, that's our catchphrase. So, we're gonna do today. We've got some practitioners from Ducklings Day nursery, we've got the experts in behaviour. Would you like to just introduce yourself? Yeah, my name's Amy, and I am the behavioural lead for the nursery and the room lead for my room. So I work with the children in my room but also the children within the whole setting who have shown some behavioural difficulties. What age is your room that you work in? It's from like two and a half to preschools. So normal, normal, yeah. But a mixtability classroom, so we start with from like two and a half all the way up to the go to school. So our oldest child literally turns five in like a couple of weeks.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

Yeah. Yeah. What I'm trying to say that is that it's from normal behaviour, it should be right.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Start again. Start again. No, we're not starting again. We're not starting again because it's been good. And I mean microphone's probably picking it up. It was just on my little thing up there. Come on. Is just anyway. Right, crack on. Crack on. So thank you for that. And this is really interesting because it I know you you're not at Ducklings Day nursery, but this is it it's countrywide, isn't it? It's all parents, all parents are going to have some behaviour issues with the children. So this is for you as well. It's not just for parents of this particular nursery. Um, and this is what we want to get across. We're also joined by Da-da. Hi, Paul again. Just remind you, Michelle, what do you do? Who are you? Yeah, so I'm the deputy manager here at the same count. I also support Amy with behaviour. Um big link, big of course, big big list of other things as well. I'm sure, yes, I'm sure. With a boss like Sarah, yeah. Who sat, she sat listening on the phone, but in the photos to put on basically. Not for herself, but for the nurse. Yeah, but never mind. Yeah, so we're gonna get on with it because we're trying today. We're really gonna try and condense it, yeah, even though we'd never edit because we don't like editing. We want to keep it real. So we have a bet on how long it's gonna be. I think 22. I think I think twenty three and a half. Oh, for goodness sake, that's too long. Right, 21 and a half, okay, 24, 25, then. Come on, Sarah. I'll say 23. Right, so we'll tell you at right, so so we'll tell you at the end how many minutes. Well, you probably know you might have switched off anyway. So we're gonna look at today how we support and understand. So we're gonna look at the how, we're gonna look at the why. Um, and we're not gonna cover everything today about behaviour as much as we'd love to in the 22 minutes that we're going to be talking.

SPEAKER_02 3:39

Oh, 23.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Uh 22, 22. We're gonna hopefully give you some ideas about parenting strategies. Um, and I'll let you fill us in a little bit more about that Lancashire roadmap thing because that's something I'm not aware of, but that will be good um of what they follow. Um, and then it was interesting about the increase in behaviour issues, yeah. And so we'll talk a little bit about that as well.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

But can I just be quick? It is normal.

SPEAKER_01 4:15

It is normal. Nobody, if you've not got behaviour issues in your home, then and that is you know what the I am two, I am free things. You can look them up, I am too. Underneath says, I am gonna throw myself on the floor and kick my legs and you have that's what two-year-olds do. I still do it. Yeah, as adults, you can control it a bit better, but children can't. So and that that's obviously what's expected.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 4:46

But I really, really am concerned if people think that that behaviour does not exist, it is normal, and it's just an interpretation of the types of behaviour which are acceptable and how to um sort of regulate yourself so it is more acceptable. So I don't want anybody to think in oh, my child does that, there's something wrong. And I think you picked up on before, which was really good about the why and understanding why is a child behaving like that. Yeah, because it's communicating, and I think over time we've we've learned as practitioners, as parents, we've learned that we do need to ask the question why it could be because of the reason it can be like um their home life, you know, their environment that they're in at that time, like their values, and you know, it could be the hungry thing, and there's so many reasons, and the children just do want a pleasure and have fun, and yeah, and you know, when they're behaving like that, we just try and support them, we do and give them comfort and put a meaning to that behaviour. You know, why are you why are you feeling sad? Or there's something called emotion coaching, which is great. Look it up, and there's five steps to that emotion coaching, and that supports children with with their behaviour. You can just Google that, yeah. You can just look it up, and it's it's delivered by someone called Penny Watson, she's fantastic, she's one of Lancashire's big behaviour coaches. She taught me it. Um, she's on YouTube, Penny Watson. Penny Watson, um yeah, and um fantastic advice. Um, there's YouTube videos out there where there's a lot of like things. So I learned a lot from her. I went to it um a face-to-face day course, brought it back, delivered it to the staff, but then you can get it on YouTube as well, if some of the staff have watched it, so yeah, yeah, yeah. And it is about that because we want the best for our children, we want the best for our relationship with our children as well, and but we have to put work in. You can't expect it to just miraculously go away or expect somebody else to deal with it, yeah. And I think that's important that we get that across today. I've gone through behaviour issues with my children. I once flushed the toilet for my granddaughter, man alive. It's like I cut her arm off. She wanted to do it, and it took ages to talk her down and talk through it, and you you're learning all the time, and it's about that, isn't it? It's about learning what's the best way to respond to that children. Because I could have really shouted at her and said, That's ridiculous, how just ridiculous. And I could have even punished her, but you don't, you know that you're thinking that was really important to England's. Yeah, it was really because it was her win, and it was her it was her responsibility to get rid of that.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

She'd been taught to for them that's part of how you ever felt yourself so upset about something and everything. I always look at children when they're the biggest tantrum and everything, and think, oh I'd hate to feel like that myself, yeah, and I it never makes me feel crossed.

SPEAKER_01 8:01

No, it never did with my children, and it's always made me think come here. Yeah, you know, look. I love that phrase, come here. But there are people who don't respond like that. There are people who make them cross. And I wonder if it's because a lot of the times they've not had it themselves, but they've not had it themselves, have they? They've not been nurtured or mentored through whatever chaos they were going through. They probably are a whack round the head, or you know, it's that by whilst this child's in the midst of a complete and utter utter breakdown on the floor, or wherever they are, they think that by constantly going and talking to them that they're gonna get to you know, whilst the child is brain is doing what it's doing, you are not gonna get through some difficult to calm down, but just something on that as well, which is great. So many parents will say they're just so like they're in this situation where the child's behaving like that, wherever, and they're so embarrassed and they just have the floors swallowed up. And I say to them, do not be embarrassed. People will be looking at you if it has not look at that pair of trying their best because they're not looking at you, judging you. Well, I hope that they're not if you were trying to pay as yeah, they're looking at you because I've seen it withstanding, oh god, you know, I hope you're okay, or you know, people are looking at you thinking, Good, you know, you're trying your best, and you know, don't um don't let embarrassment or anything like that, you know, you're doing your best. Yeah, that's really good advice, actually.

SPEAKER_00 9:28

So I mean it's a it's a it's a case of as I say, normalizing behaviour and regulating it and uh deciding on strategies which will help your individual child.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

And we do that um very often in nurseries as well by recognising emotions, yeah. Because you see different children behave in different patterns, yeah. How you approach a child is not the same as child A, child B. And and sometimes when the children are having absolute hysterics, it isn't a time to step in. Yeah, they need to just express that emotion of anger. And then when when the it's not a time to educate them, it's a time to calm, it's not a time to say kind hands, kind feet, dad, dad. It's a kind time to calm your child down. I understand that it's okay. If you're feeling angry, calm down. And we can talk about this. You know, no one's gonna take in um, you know, if you pinched my coffee in the morning and drank it all up, I wouldn't be happy because I want my coffee. Um but if I'm two and somebody's taken your nice drink of cool milk in the morning, well that is a massive you you know, then the child won't be happy. Because little minds can't process that. Well, actually you'll get some more or it's gonna get sorted in it. Basically, they see it as you've had mine, wow, you know. Well, don't worry. Let's so next and then next time if it's dealt with broccoli, they might say, Oh, someone's drunk my milk, go back, I don't have to make a fuss because it was dealt with. So your body is going to deal with it, yeah. And they will get me another, and it's not a big issue, and it works, it works. And children are in that quite like situation as well with their brain, and we I've done a lot of training around children's brains, and that front uh frontal cortex of the brain isn't fully developed to handle situations like that until they seven, and that's I was just gonna ask you that about an it. Do you see an a I mean you won't at nursery button in a nursery setting, but do you see an age where they start to regulate so some children just flip it with a second and it like Sarah's just said, you know, it's okay getting that. Some children will go on, they do they all handle it differently, do you know what I mean? So it's just stepping in, being able to support them with their individual needs. Yeah, I think it's really important that parents understand and really really understand that every children have got to go through these emotions to be able to understand and equip them for life, didn't it? If we're constantly taking them opportunities away when they're in a meltdown or whatever, and they're gonna become frightened even more to show the feelings, yeah, and we really need and we're mentoring them as parents, we're mentoring them for adulthood. Absolutely, and and if that isn't dealt with then it's gonna go into adulthood, isn't it? That every time something doesn't go their way, they're gonna have a hissy fit and I think that's why NASDAQ life is so good for children, yeah, because at home they are with the parents, you know, it's the easy child. Of course, I've say with my children, you do give them everything and then everything they learn.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

It's learning and it's learning to share, and it's learning to and it does, and small steps in nursery where they're being nurtured and the behaviour's being nurtured um equips them for life if it's done properly.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

Um can I just mention a bugbear to me and see you and it's so important to let children cry as well. I know it sounds really, really awful. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, that that's the you know, you can cry. You know, don't be brave, you know. It don't do she good, can't you? Does she good then? I must have cried a lot as a child and was allowed because I still do. Yeah, but then you only spent 12 now in adult school. Oh wow, yeah. That was brought up into yeah, that's brought up a lot. And sometimes when the lips are quivering and you say, be a brave boy, it doesn't hurt your knee when you fall over, does it? It's hurting, it's bleeding. If I'd have fallen over and I'd got a sore knee, I don't want someone to say, Stop crying. I want someone to say, Oh dear, that must have hurt. Let's make it better. I'll give you a puddle. Because then when somebody else falls over, they're not going to say, Oh, be a brave boy, get up, don't ever put the hands round and say it happens an awful lot in preschool, doesn't it? Yeah, when they fall over or hurt themselves, they have an army who brings them to you. Oh, you know, yeah, yeah. So in like in tunnel from your friend, you know, you break your leg, you know what you need. Oh, absolutely. I've done that many a time at school. So, in your capacity as um the expert in there in your field, what kinds of things do parents approach you about a support? Yeah, yeah. So at the door, sometimes just during feedbacks, like parents will say to me, Oh, we're really struggling at home. It could be something as little as the the fight and going to bedtime, but that fight is a fight. They're like trying to throw tellies and remotes off the walls and things like that. And I think it's just understanding that this is natural, it's completely normal for children to go through these stages of behavioural donuts. Because the test and things are yeah, can I have an extra? And that is where I feel like the relationship with parents and us needs to be so secure that we're both doing the same thing. So this is consistency. We talked about that. Yeah, consistently. So I would explain to a parent who come to my nursery and said that they're struggling with this child's behaviour. I explain what I would do in the situation, what the nursery staff would do, what we all do as a team, and then say if you could do that at home, then we're coming at it from both sides. And I think that really does work well. And I've had good feedback from parents to say that did work, this doesn't work, and it's understanding that child. So I think that's bigger than the role of the key worker is understand that child. Something's gonna work for one, that doesn't work for another. And you know, I've got my own child here as well, and like he just does not respond to this like sticker chart or things like this, he doesn't do that well. But I've got another child upstairs who absolutely so it's these unwanted behaviours, whatever they're displaying is how we handle it, and we're making sure like what Sarah said before is explaining to them that that's okay to feel that way, and not saying, Oh, just get up, just do this, just do that. If you're showing that you understand and saying to a child, oh that would make me sad too, or that that makes me feel angry as well. It's on and then that then that child will then sit there and think, Oh, right, okay, that's fine for me to feel this way. And when they have come down from that peak of the breakdown, they're happy to talk to you about it. And I feel like you know, and uh as adults, we all do it as well, and you know, once once you've got over like this emotion that you feel and you've been calmed down, you think, Oh, I could have handled this better, I could have done this better. When you're already with that child, when you talk about language that we should use, because it's interesting that yeah, so we obviously we try to promote like positive reinforcement at all times. So we we know our children so well, we know what's gonna tip one child off, and if I even see it coming, we're we're straight on top of them, which we say it like something could go on, and we're saying, Oh, you're doing really good sitting today, and we just try and give them positive reinforcement at all times today. If someone's just sitting down, we're saying, Oh, good sitting, but even more up. To me, right? They put them in a positive mindframe frame, you put them in a good mood, and then when the woman said, Oh, good walking, everybody, or good talking to your friends, or that next night question the cells, I'm a walking mood. Yeah, all positive, and I think something that is worth mentioning is is that being positive around the children, yeah, because at the door sometimes you naturally come in in the morning, you've had a hard time with your child getting them dressed for school, they won't put the shoe on, they've lashed it at your head, they come in, and the parents are saying to us, Oh, he's been a nightmare this morning, or this happened, but that child is here and everywhere that they're saying, and I think that's really important to mention in this podcast that if you've got something to say negatively about your child and you want to talk about it's just to drop an email, phone call, or just ask for a private conversation. That child then comes in thinking, I'm not good, I've been naughty, I've done this and this and this, and they come in and then that's a lot then for the day, and then they listen, they absorb the end. We know that they'll think, Oh, that's a big thing great today, you know. It's like and now we can we use them to listen to it, yeah, yeah, to to pass on sort of like please speak about them positively, yeah. And children love to feel that praise and reward. So sometimes in the setting, even if Charlene said to me, 'Amy, did you know that this child has done this today?' I go, 'How can they see them beaming of pride, and they're so happy and excited?' And I said, 'When your mummy picks you up and I tell them how good, and they just that's it, they are judged having the best days.' But it is also understanding that it's not going to be every day, it's not always going to be like that. Following on from that, obviously, praising in front of the child to somebody else, but equally the parents can do that when they get home, they can form grandma, they're pretending doing it that you know purposely in front of the kid. When I've had um private conversations with parents, I'll and they'll say to me, 'Oh, they won't do this.' Just I'll say to the parent, tell them that you're going to tell Amy on Monday. So if they're having a bad weekend, I want you to say to your child, Oh, I'm going to have to tell Amy, you need to start. And that they're like, That, oh, Amy and the nurse, you're going to please me. And they want to come in, just want to please us, and they'll come in and I say, Do you have a nice weekend? And the parents say, Oh, tell Amy what you did. They love it. So I use that as a strategy. If your child is showing some unwanted behaviours, bring us into it. Bring the nurses and bring the nature of you. Yeah, just say it, or what was Amy say? Or how does it and things like that? And they really go and get so much good feedback from then using our names at home, yeah, with the with the behaviours.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

Can I tell you what I think always, always, always works? Distraction. Yeah, yeah. That's one of our biggest automations.

SPEAKER_01 20:20

There's a little piece of you. I've used um people who are listening will maybe have seen this on TikTok. Um it it's a strategy that I don't know where it's come from. Somebody might be able to tell us in a comment, please. The like comments. Have you seen this where the child is having a bit of a child saying Jessica and Jessica and Jessica? Jessica! And the like stuff straight away, and that's just like you say, is a distraction. So that's like I've got in my pocket. Yeah, come and see this. Do this, or really need something. I'll say when when breakfast is finished, I'll say, Oh, who's gonna help tidy the table? You love it, they get the glue roll, the spray, they want to help with the cups of the floor, and it's just just fractions. So if you had so if you had a parent who came and said they're gonna be absolutely shattered today because I could not get them in bed, they were just not doing this they're at all, they've just they won't go to bed, they're kicking off every day. What advice would you give? So, what we would do is like we've got um Home Lean packs on our walls outside, and we we can give that out to parents and they're full of resources. Some of them are if it's like a bedtime thing, it's got a book in it, and it's got a little teddy bear, and it's got yeah, yeah, and it's got like a little pair of pajamas for the teddy, and I say to the parent, When you go to bed tonight, ask child your child to read a story to this teddy bear, put the pajamis on the teddy bear and put him into bed like like a big boy, you can do it, and then you're gonna get into bed as well, and we can take it back to nursery tomorrow and tell Amy and they can leave that for us on the box. So we issues as well. Yeah, but if we Got families listening who the children don't come to this nursery, they can still do their own, couldn't they? Yeah, yeah, they've got no responsibility. I think a child really thrives on like wanting to help and want to do that, like what you said before, who wants to clean the table. If you say, Wait, can you jump into your own bed for me? And can you put your own quilt on? Even those little tiny things that independent, they're like, Yeah, I think it's yeah, and then you know, if you've got an older sibling or a partner in the house, you could be saying, Oh, have you seen what he's done when he's left to bed? It's just that positive reinforcement, and then it on these things that we've got here, these lists here, it's like making it a game and things like that, saying, you know, you can do this, you're a big boy, and then rewarding them. The next say, if you do this, and this is one our thing goes, we can say, if you go to bed tonight tomorrow, you can have an extra five minutes in the bath. And that's that tiny little thing is like they're like, right, okay, I'm going to bed tonight. And that works with my own child, even but is that not age appropriate though? That because if you're saying that to a two-year-old, would a two-year-old. It depends on what you're giving them. Yeah, it depends on what you're giving them. If you're saying that to when five-year-old, they're gonna say they're gonna remember it. But if you're saying, right, if you go to bed now, mummy will you can, you know, m in the morning, mummy will do this, they're gonna remember that closer, it's the time frame. Yeah, yeah. And you know, for older children, uh because I'm thinking older, older, because it's not just nursery where we have these behaviour issues. I'm thinking that as they get older, um, they've got to reason with themselves. It's not just reasoning with you, they've got to learn themselves to do that. Yeah, so say for a bedtime routine, I mean you we all go through it, you go through times where they don't want to go to bed, they're kicking off. And but what you can say is right, I'm gonna give you a deal here. If you go to bed tonight on time, you sleep all night for one night, and then we'll talk about it tomorrow. All I'm asking for you is one night, yeah, and then when they get up the day after and they have a really good day, they feel great, they're not grumpy, they're not this, and you ask them to analyse that, so it's giving them ownership of it, and I think that's important for older children, obviously. But it can work for for all ages, children as well. You know, you're not saying straight away go to bed and go to sleep, maybe go to bed and listen to some exactly acting like the ball comic, comic, yeah, you know, just just my my son's too, and something that really works for him, he has never slept a night in his life, but going to bed can be hard work, and I say to him, Why do you go and choose your own pajamas? And he loves it. He runs up the stairs, he pulls his drawer out, and he wants to choose his car ones or his dinosaur ones. And I'm already in the bedroom at this point, so we've already taken that step of getting up the stairs without a fight. That next then you're in control, like, yeah, black things go as well, you know, you don't have to have it all your own way. Look at the child lead as well. And you think does it really matter if he's up another 10 minutes actually, even though you might be missing Emmerdale? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you're like, Oh, I've had enough now. Yeah, yeah. But don't just give them that time because it's not gonna last forever. It's gonna and they might just want to be with you, yeah. Because you've been at work all day. Someone calls it to the chat playing read, which is something that we push as well, and it's just having that little decided five to ten minutes of just that precious time where you can either just chat, just we've done this on one of the popcorn. Yeah, it's and that five to ten minutes could be more vital than being all night one where you've been paying hundreds of pounds to go to the zoom or whatever. Yeah, yeah, that's a precious time of just being with the child for five to ten minutes before they go to bed. The chat play really I think that's great for the parent as well, because when you're in the thick of parent and a two-year-old and it's bedtime and you're having a fight.

SPEAKER_00 25:55

Then you've got all the things, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Again, again, you can feel these emotions up like where you're thinking, Oh my gosh, just go to sleep. But then you just take that five minutes with your child and you realise that this is five minutes, like yeah, this communication, you're not gonna get this, they're gonna grow quick. So you need to try and cherish those moments because in a few years they will be sleeping for the night and they won't want you to take them to bed. Yeah, just be spending the whole weekend in bed. And if they've had a if they've had a paddy in the in the supermarket after school and you're just like, right, I've had enough. Is it the time to go to the supermarket after school? Yeah, you've got to question your own actions as well. You've got to think, do you know what? Should have done that before, or we could have done without going. What is coming out is a response to what you're feeling inside. And you know this child best, you know what's gonna trigger them, and if you and it's it's knowing that child and how to handle them. Like if you know your child's been in nursery all day and you've finished with six, but then you've now got to go to the shops. No, don't do it. Most likely what is your child's gonna kick off for the chocolate bar or something, but it's too late now because you've got to go to bed now, and the sugar washers just judging them things and and just trying to be a little bit more than a little bit. We've already done it, it's not like sometimes you've got to help you've just got to go the as there, so it's then putting those things in place like listen, we're gonna go the as there. It's a very good boy, we're gonna get you the milkshake at the end, and just trying to put that positive step in before you get there, otherwise, when they get there and they get in that trolley and they start giving them that what you're doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're then you ever you feel like everyone's there, and that's the boundaries, yeah. So it's expectations, yeah. Is normal, and I really, really, really want to stress that it's normal to have experts of different behaviour. Do not expect don't feel that you're a failure because it's your child, don't you think their child's perfect boundaries because children need boundaries and sometimes the children don't know what the rules or boundaries are. I see this all the time. We'll just show people the most loveliest activity, and they'll just come over and like they might be doing this home, just throwing it and well, they don't know what they're meant to do. Yeah, so they're gonna put on a ball, yeah, and you make it all like amazing with what activities they're doing at home or wherever they might be, if they go somewhere, um, and then the children understand them and say, Wow, good playing, good listening with it. Because boundaries are custom, we expect a lot from them. Yeah, yeah. So we do know what I mean, but if then we're not given the tools and the you know what they're supposed to do, then they don't know. But as parents, we need to be consistent with that. But it's like us with our partners, and you're like, Oh, he's not done that again. Not asked him. Yeah, yeah. How can they read our minds when it's just like that? One day you're allowing your child to do X, Y, and Z, and then the following day when you're absolutely shattered off, rushing you're late, they're not allowed to do that. So I've got a clue. Yeah, they're coming and going. Yeah, well, it's consistency again. Can I just say I was gonna say that 28 minutes go? This is ridiculous. How ridiculous! Well exactly podcast next that we do, we're gonna talk about behaviour in older children, teenagers. Yes, yeah, watch out for that. I think now I think what we've I might do it on with the behaviour of 30 year olds. Oh my goodness. That will be a long one. Yeah, I've got behaviour in older children. Just recognise that give your children fair boundaries, yeah, love them, yeah, support them, yeah, rationalise the behaviour. Seek help. Yeah, don't try and do it on your own. Um, and and don't let the children no, wait a minute. You've got to make sure that the children understand it's the behaviour that you don't like. It's not not them. Always not smashing, yeah. Keen jean. Keen. You don't wisdom being naughty, yeah. The behaviour that you do. I wouldn't even recognise the behaviour if they're like running and they're not like don't run, don't run, children. Hate that. Yeah, no, please. Yes, I thought we say walking, but yeah, don't even comment on the video. We we have to do that in school, it's like, but it's hard. That is how we teach it. It is it's hard to do, it is yeah, stop running, oh you're gonna fall uh next minute don't next week here, are they? I have a lot of papers, oh they're not like this at home, not like this at home, not like this at home, but you've got to remember that in this nursery we are right there next to them, they're following their peers, and we're not yeah when they go home, all that built-up um like expression is gonna come out, and that is normal. And I just feel like that is a big thing to say is that if they're a child coming from nursery and they've come home from wherever and they're having an absolute mate, they're tired, they're emotional, but that's fine, just leave them to it. You do regularly like what we have said. Sometimes children just need to have that little cry, and that's fine. Leave them to it, just explain that you understand what they're doing. And then after I think it did, I think it's important after as well when they have calmed down, just say what do you think about that? Yeah, sometimes you just can't. Yeah, it should just be the just understanding that they're you're there for them when they come around, they're gonna want to cuddle and it's gonna want to smaller, shouldn't it? Yeah, yeah, and you're and you standing there saying that's okay, Amazon. You're feeling a bit better now, and you know, let's have a cuddle. And more time. I would be a bit sadder, we'll be feeling a bit how are we feeling? Giving them that opportunity to say, I'm bit I'm tired now. And that doesn't take long to do, does it at all? No, not no girls. And I it's 32 minutes, guys. It is because we need a brew, yeah. We need another slot on ITV prime time viewing. Oh, do you know? I think we're gonna be the next loose women. Yeah, yeah, it depends what Lucy's referring to. Well, maybe not. Yeah, I'm definitely not loose. Well, I'm going through a bit of a time at the minute, but yeah, I wow. Yeah, put five women in a room, and this is what you get. But we hope, and we really we truly hope that we've given you some advice, some little nuggets of um how I can handle my children's behaviour, and hope, yeah. I know, and and everything is, and it is about kindness. Break that cycle. If you had a childhood where you were just not listened to, uh you were told you were naughty. Yeah, break that cycle in your family, you are not the needy child. Exactly. The question, yeah, it's important for you, whoever's listening to this. If you think you who do I talk to about this, if your child's not in a nursery, wherever your child is, speak to that setting, whether it's a nursery, a school, whether it's I don't know, whatever clubs or groups that you're in, there will always be somebody to say. Absolutely, absolutely, yeah. You've got to have law, don't you? Yeah, yeah. And your friends, you know, talk to your friends. If you think your friends got this perfect family, talk to them, they'll probably you'll probably come out feeling better. Because we got oh my weekend, and then you listen to think actually man quite we hope that you've loved listening to us. We hope that you're still here. Um, but like and share, keep telling everybody about it because we're doing this for you, we're not doing it for for glory, we're not doing it to be famous at all, because it will never happen. But please just comment, interact with us, and keep parenting. And what does Jean say? Don't forget, you're not on your own. Well, I can't stop it now. Oh, there we are.