Episode 7 - You Don't Have a Time Problem, You Have a Priority Problem

Episode Overview: "You Don't Have a Time Problem, You Have a Priority Problem"

The core message of this episode is that everyone has the same 24 hours in a day; the difference in outcomes lies in how those hours are prioritized. The hosts argue that "finding time" is a myth—you must make or take time for what matters.

Key Takeaways

• The Difference Between "Making" and "Taking" Time:
  • Making Time: Deferring low-risk tasks (like laundry) to a later date to create space now.
  • Taking Time: Consciously choosing not to finish a task today because health or family is more important, even if it feels like "lowering standards."
• The Ceiling of a "Do-It-Yourself" Mentality: Dr. Wade shares a story about scrubbing toilets at his clinic. While it shows humility, the hosts discuss how this isn't a productive use of a CEO’s time. To grow a business, you must delegate tasks that others can do 80% as well as you.
• Busy vs. Productive: Being "busy" (doing tasks) is not the same as being "productive" (moving the needle on goals).
• The "One Thing" Strategy: Referencing Gary Keller’s book, they suggest picking the single most important task each week that creates a "domino effect" for everything else.

Personal Wins & Losses

The hosts start with a "Vulnerability Minute" regarding their personal lives:

Host | Wins | Losses/ChallengesDr. Jonathan Wade | Orchard Health is "knocking it out of the park" with a new nurse practitioner and improved marketing. | Short-term rental bookings are down; dealing with critical four-star reviews.
Joel Malin | His newborn son, Gideon, smiled for the first time, providing much-needed feedback during the "sleep-deprived" phase. | Financial stress of trying to afford a nanny, as he and his wife aren't ready for daycare yet.

Notable Quotes

"You can gut an animal, but you can't change a diaper? Be the man—figure it out." — Joel Malin"You're not going to find time. You're going to make it. It's not living out there." — Dr. Jonathan Wade"They started saying the house was really 'busy' this weekend instead of 'messy.' It was a way to be kinder to themselves." — Joel Malin

Actionable Advice from the Hosts

1. Modify, Don't Lower, Standards: Reshape your expectations of a "pristine home" or "perfect schedule" to adapt to new life phases (like having kids).
2. Focus Blocks: Use dedicated chunks of time to work on specific topics rather than trying to multi-task throughout the day.
3. The "Lived-In" Perspective: Accept that a busy home or a slightly disorganized office is a sign of life and growth, not failure.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Well, hello everybody. This is another episode of The Long Burn. This is Joel Mallon, uh mental health therapist in Florida and Georgia, along with Dr. Jonathan Wade, the CEO and owner doctor of Orchard Health in Nashville, Georgia. Hello, Jonathan. Hey, Joel. How are you doing? Oh, you know, just doing the intro, trying to be awkward and weird. It's fine. Uh so yeah, uh, it's been another week and uh we we've taken a little bit of a break. I know we've got some of our uh podcasts stacked up, and those are releasing every week and everything. Um, but but we've taken a little bit of a break just to do a little bit of a strategic planning and try to figure out, you know, what's going on with some of our topics are going to be, and uh also to cultivate some of the fire health page that hopefully some of y'all have been able to visit and uh look at by now just to understand kind of what we're offering with some of our consulting expertise and different things of that nature. Um, so uh let's let's just kind of launch right into our different uh approach to our wins and losses from this week. So um, Jonathan, do you have any wins and losses from this week that you'd like to discuss?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Uh I think wins, uh, we continue to just keep keep knocking it out of the park here at at Orchard Health. Um we have to do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

And you've really stepped up the marketing. I've noticed that there's been a lot more uh posts and trying to get new business and different things like that.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Well, and I I think that comes from our our new nurse practitioner. She's very involved in that and has kind of helped us um uh do do a good bit of that by bringing in new businesses, you know.

SPEAKER_00 1:41

And I mean that's that feels like a shot in the arm for you. It's like it's a motivation. It feels like you're more motivated to do some of that as well.

SPEAKER_01 1:48

Yeah, it breathes new life into things. I think we'd been in the churn for a while where you know, I kept telling people, I think we've reached our ceiling for our staff and and current situation, but but not the ceiling for the practice, and and and bringing in the new nurse practitioner has been has been great for that. Um, and we got our other one back from maternity leave yesterday. Um and so excited to get her back in the swing of things and and really kind of figure out what the new normal looks like here. So that's a that's a big win for me that we can start taking that that new chapter of of Orchard Health um uh in sight and making making some good changes to benefit everybody. For sure.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Any losses or anything?

SPEAKER_01 2:28

Yeah, I think from a a learning perspective, um we we've had some some complications within our our uh short-term rental real estate portfolio, um, but bookings being down. We ran into a couple of of uh four-star, not five-star reviews from basic things like we had too many rules, or you know, the that that they didn't like the neighborhood that the house was in, which is not why you rent someplace. But so those have been frustrating, but but learning lessons for what we can do to to make that aspect of our our life and retirement plan better.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

So right. Yeah, kudos to you. Like I'm not brave enough to do all that. Uh people are brutal on reviews, so yes, uh, I'm not as big a fan of that. So um all right, so uh anything else from the week for you.

SPEAKER_01 3:16

No, I I think that's it's it's yet another week, and and I'm loving life and doing all I can. What about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 3:23

Moving forward, that is right. I like it. Okay, well, wins and losses for me. So um the wins uh another week with uh we're still on baby leave, and so another week uh taking care of little man, and he uh Gideon has gotten past some of the crying phase. He actually smiled at me yesterday morning, and I was just like, thank God, some affirmation. He's okay, he's a happy baby, you know, and so like that I was just like I needed that more than I realized because I was just like, thank you for something, you know, some kind of feedback. And so for any of you dads out there that have dealt with newborns, and maybe you understand what I'm saying, it's like this sounds so bad. I'm gonna say it, but it sounds so bad. Like, they don't feel like a person yet because there's no personality, there's no facial expression, there's no you know, interaction, there's no skills. It's just this lump that just poops in your hand, you know, that you have to wipe their booty and stuff like that. And so, like stuff like that really just kind of drives me insane. And so, whatever he has, just a little smile or something like that, like I'll latch on to that. It feels like a win.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

So, um it hits you somewhere that nothing else does, it really does. It touches into your heart, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

And and I think I told you is like there was a day where I was changing his diaper, and so uh while I was changing his diaper, he's immediately pooping already, and I'm just catching it with a wet wipe, and I was like, Oh my gosh, like I I didn't know this was gonna happen, but here we are, and I'm doing it, and uh so yeah, diapers. And I would say for any guy out there that can't change diapers, I'm just like, come on, man, what are you doing? You can gut an animal, but you can't change a diaper. Like, like, change the diaper, it's fine, you know. Be be the man, like, figure it out, like figure out how to make it work. Um, let's see, losses. Um, losses, trying to figure out how to afford a nanny. Like, nannies are not cheap. Um, I Jonathan and I talked about that briefly before we got on the uh podcast for today. Um, so trying to figure out, you know, financially, what does that look like to be able to afford a nanny? Because, you know, both me and my wife feel a little bit uncomfortable about sending um Gideon to child care or daycare whenever, you know, he's so young. He's just weeks old. Um, what we're thinking that maybe we feel more comfortable when he's like six months old or something like that. Maybe we'd be more okay with child care center or something like that. But until that happens, so we're we're just trying to figure out how we can make that happen. You know, so some financial challenges there. Um, positive thing, I do have my brother and his wife coming in this Saturday. So it's this it's a first chance that my brother is gonna meet his nephew, that Gideon's gonna meet his uncle. And so we're trying to plan some fun things. We're gonna go to the zoo here in Jacksonville, maybe take a swimming day or a fishing day or something like that. Uh, try to do some stuff to make it fun and uh have a good time together. So, really looking forward to that coming up this weekend. Yeah, see, there you go. You turn that loss into a win. Uh, that's what we're trying to do. That's what we're trying to do every day. Yeah, so um, so our topic for today is uh is kind of the the phrase or the statement is you don't have a time problem, you have a priority problem. Um this is something that um I have confronted a lot in therapy with clients because people say, Well, I don't have time to do XYZ, I don't have time to do this. So the reality of the situation is that each one of us has the exact same amount of time as everyone else. We have 24 hours a day. And so medically, I think that six to eight hours of sleep a night is considered a healthy amount for any given adult. So, unless there are other medical complications, things of that nature. And so that means like what you have filled your day with, that may be the issue. It's not about how much you sleep or don't sleep, it's about, you know, whether you're prioritizing those things that are directly related to your health outcomes. And so, you know, if we're just thinking in in rough numbers here, you know, if you're let's let's on the high end of this, let's say that, you know, you've got 24 hours a day, you've got seven days a week and everything else, then that means if you're sleeping eight hours a night, you know, you've that means you're sleeping 56 hours a week. You know, so you have this, if you're sleeping that that normal, regular, healthy amount, then you've got the same amount of time as everyone else. My question to ask is how much are you watching TV? How much are you scrolling internet or reels? How much are you researching about the business or entrepreneurial endeavors and different things like that? How much are you spending with your family? Um, when was the last time you went to the gym? You know, is that part of your routine or not? And I have so many people that say, I don't have time to go to the gym. I'm like, well, what are you doing instead?

unknown 8:19

Right.

SPEAKER_00 8:19

Well, it could be they're cooking dinner every night. And I'm like, well, you're dumb. Like, cook once and and that'd be enough that you can have leftovers for the whole week, you know. Like, I'm I'm when it comes to cooking, I will admit that I'm somewhat lazy that I would rather cook 10 meals once than cook, you know, individual meals every night. And some people want that, they want that diversity in their uh diet and different stuff, and and that's okay, but that costs you time. And so it depends on where do you most want to win. Do you most want to win at work? Do you most want to win at family? Do you most want to win at your health or in your diet and stuff like that? And so that all is a direct correlation to your goals and and so what your priorities are.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

Yeah. No, I agree. I hear it all the time too, that people say they don't have time. Um, you know, they can't find time to fill in the blank, go to the gym, spend more time with family, work on that side hustle or or whatever their their long-term plans are in life. And I flat out something, you're not gonna find it. You're gonna have to make it. You're gonna have to make it a priority to either get up early to work on stuff, stay up late to work on stuff, you know, do do focus blocks throughout the day to hit on different topics. Um because because yeah, you're you're you're not gonna find it. It's it's not living out there. Um, we're not getting more hours in the day. Um, and that's where, yeah, I hope that through this episode we can kind of be honest about our our experience with that. By all means, we say it every episode, we're not perfect. We've we've worked through some of these things, we're still working through some of these things. Um, but then also help you, you guys to maybe to see it in your life, even though this seems like a real simple topic. Um, but then maybe you can't unsee things uh once you realize, oh crap, like yeah, I spent 20 minutes doom scrolling on my phone when I could have spent that 20 minutes on a treadmill or outwalking the neighborhood, whatever the case is.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

Well, and the way I think about it is there's a difference between making time and taking time. Sure. So making time is saying, hey, you know, this doesn't need to be done today, so I can do it tomorrow, next week. So stupid example is so I'll ask clients, like, okay, so maybe you've already decided in your head that when I get home from work tonight, I have to do laundry. Okay, so what if you don't? Who's gonna die? Who's gonna not be able to make it to work? Who's gonna not be able to make it to school? Chances are you have plenty of clothes that if you don't do laundry tonight, like you've already created a contract with yourself, if you don't do it tonight, there's gonna be no fallout, there's gonna be no issue with that. And so making time is is simply deferring some of that stuff and saying, you know, maybe we can catch up on it on the weekend or something like that. So making time is deferring stuff. Taking time is a little bit different. And so I know it probably sounds like a dumb differentiation, but taking time is simply saying, I am choosing not to finish this today. I'm not gonna get this done, even though it needs to be done today. I am choosing not to focus on this because this work task or whatever it is that's going on is not as important as the health and well-being or time with my family. And so making time is is relatively easy and low risk, you know, because it it's us simply modifying our standards to where we're not achieving this ideal home or this, you know, certain amount of cleanliness that maybe we grew up with or something like that. Taking time is a conscious, I will not get this done today.

unknown 11:53

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:54

And that's really hard because what a lot of people feel like it is, is lowering your standards. And, you know, I fight back really hard against this because it's not lowering your standards, it's modifying them. Sure. You know, it's not realistic that if you're used to this routine that maybe it was just you and your husband or you and your wife or something like that in the house, and you're used to getting the laundry done on a certain schedule, well, you can't still have that same expectation when you have one, two, three kids in the house and you both are working full-time jobs, you've got to be willing to modify your expectations, which means you're you're reshaping those expectations to be able to adapt to what your routine or your schedule is. And so, you know, if you're unwilling to make time or take time in those areas, you're gonna find yourself feeling like a failure constantly, like nobody's clothes are clean, or I'm not ready for work, or I didn't do any meal prep for this week, or something like that. You know, and so that's a priority problem.

SPEAKER_01 12:56

Right. Yeah, that reminds me of a I'm still reading through the one thing by Gary Keller, and he talks about you don't need more time, you just need fewer things to do. And he told a story where he figured this out. They had weekly meetings and he used to give people a bunch of things to do, a bunch of tasks between this week's meeting and next. And then he realized they need to focus on the most important thing. So they whittled down 10 things to five, five to two, and then finally pick the one thing, the one thing they need to get done that week that then sets the catalyst to other things. So, yeah, you prioritize and you take the time to focus on that one thing that may then have the domino effect of helping you out down the road.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

Well, and that's the question I ask people is where do you most want to succeed? Do you most want to succeed at work or in your business? Do you most want to succeed with your family? Do you most want to succeed in your personal health? You know, and and I realize that that's a moving target, you know, it depends on the week, it depends on the time of year, you know, all this other stuff. But if you're not able to be flexible with some of that, you're gonna pigeonhole yourself into a routine that is just not manageable. And you're gonna consistently feel like a failure and like you're always behind. You know, my wife and I, if our house is a like I had a client that said this years ago and I love this. They they they stop saying, Oh, the house is messy, the house is dirty. Realistically, most people don't have a dirty house. They have a house that maybe is a little bit disorganized or maybe there's a little bit more clutter than they would like, or something like that. That does not mean your house is dirty, right? So they started trying to find a way to be kinder to themselves. They started saying the house was really busy this weekend, you know. There you go. Like, like, hey, the you know, all the kids were here, you know, and and all of them had, you know, sports ball practices and stuff like that. The house was really busy this weekend. And and they found that by saying it that way, that they were being more kind to themselves. They didn't feel as critical about the fact, like, oh, all the floors haven't just been recently vacuumed or something like that. Do you think your kids care? Right, right. Do you think like your neighbors, your in-laws, or anybody cares? Like, it's so funny because like me personally, I like an unmade bed. Now, here's why is an unmade bed, I'm not worried about messing it up. It already looks lumped up and cozy and stuff. I want to get in an unmade bed. But whenever it's made and it's pristine with tight sheets, I'm like, well, crap, I don't want to mess it up now, you know? And so some people want a home that's lived in. Some people want signs of life that are in a home because that's what it's for. This is your place to be you and your place to be comfortable, your place to have solitude and rest and enjoyment. If it has to look like a model home all the time, where the heck do you fit that in? Yeah.

unknown 15:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

And I think that's, and again, that may be somebody's priority, but I think for the most of us, you know, trying to uh to make a living and perform and grow and and and work on ourselves as as business owners and operators, you know, you got to cut yourself some slack, give yourself some grace in certain places. Right. And if a home looks lived in and enjoyed, I think that's far better than looking like it just came out of a magazine where you're afraid to touch things.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Right. And with kids, I mean, kids are bound to unintentionally mess things up. Absolutely. You know, and so for me, like it's never bothered me if a child messes something up because they're a child, that's how they learn. But I don't want to have a house that's so pristine that I'm nervous about a kid entering that space and then I I chastise or reprimand the kid for being a kid. Right. You know, like that doesn't make sense. They're they're literally accomplishing what's in their nature to do, and you're expecting them to do the opposite. Like that's on you for having that expectation that's not realistic. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

No, I I agree. And I and I think, you know, you you use the the the home analogy, but I think you you kind of uh extrapolate this into something larger. I know as as a sort of a serial entrepreneur and and whatnot, like I often overcommit myself. So it maybe it's not you know vacuuming the floors and mopping and baseboards and laundry, but it's hey, I'm I'm trying to launch this business, I'm trying to stabilize this business, I'm trying to take these side hustles, you know, somewhere to do something with. And so you over overcommit, and then you find yourself looking for those those times of the day for you to focus on yourself and you don't have those anymore because you've you've said yes too much.

SPEAKER_00 17:20

I I can remember distinctly there was a time um whenever I was working with you that I came in one morning and and I was like, where the heck's Jonathan at? You know, and I'm I'm walking around and everything else. You were in the bathroom and you were scrubbing toilets in the bathroom. And I'm just like, you know, what the heck is going on? And I was like, Jonathan, what are you doing? And you're like, well, I'm just cleaning the toilet. Toilet was dirty. And I said, Jonathan, you have like five other employees, you know, let one ask one of us to do that and we'll take care of it and stuff. And I think that you have the motivation, you have the awareness of like, hey, this needs to be taken care of. And I think that's to your credit, the fact that you're humble enough that, hey, I'm not afraid to do this, I don't mind doing this. But I think the conversation that we had following that experience was, you know, that's not the best use of your time. Right. Right. As the medical doctor, you know, your best use of time is seeing clients where you're you're accomplishing what you went to school for and everything else. You've got a whole staff of people that should be willing to scrub toilets, you know, that should be willing to say, hey, let me fill in the gaps and stuff to empower and enable you to do, you know, what should be your priority for the business, which is seeing clients, you know, and billing for individual client uh contact. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

Yeah, no, I I agree. And I think that's something that that I think it's nice that I'm I'm willing to be boots on the ground and do the things that need to be done at times, but right, it doesn't move the needle. It doesn't add patience, it doesn't add value to what we're doing, it doesn't grow a business. Um and I I think that I fall victim, and I'm sure a lot of folks that are listening do too, is is we associate being busy with being productive.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

Right.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

And that's not the same thing. Because again, I'm I'm scrubbing toilets, I'm busy, I'm doing something, but I'm not being productive with anything that had to do with any aspect of of the business or my life or anything like that. Um it it it reminds me of a of a something I and I won't be able to say it exactly that Steve Jobs said, but it's not about um saying yes to the things that uh that you want to focus on, it's saying no to the hundred good ideas that aren't great like yours. Right. You know, and so so focus is not just this overcommitting and say it, not overcommitting and saying yes, but it's focusing on what you need to do and scrubbing toilets, you're exactly right, was was none of that.

SPEAKER_00 19:42

But uh the caveat for that is I would say whenever your staff sees that you're willing to do those things, that you're not treating them as like, oh, it's below me, that's your job, like that goes a long way too. And so, I mean, you could even say there's a priority within that of saying, like, is my priority to show my working staff that hey, I'm not better than you. I don't consider myself, you know, higher than you or something like that. I'm willing to do the same things that you're doing, you know, but hopefully the staff recognizes that's not the best use of your time. Now, however, you can't expect that they recognize that because there's a lot of maturity in that perspective. Sure. You know, and so it's got to be something that you you're willing to task somebody and trust them to get it done versus feeling like it's just all on you all the time. And I think that you you spent such a long time whenever the business was just you and Candace that you probably were the you or Candace were the one scrubbing the toilets, you know. And so, but but whenever you expand and you have a working force, that's the best use of their time. Sure. You know, for them to do those little tasks that free you up to be able to be more effective for the business. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Well, you know, I I think back to, I guess it was November, December, we were setting up our first Greenville property. Um, had had folks come in that day, doing wallpaper, uh, doing some installations. And I I don't know, it was a Monday or a Tuesday, and they had started, and we realized when we saw just kind of looking in from the telehealth perspective on Orchard, one of our nurses was sick and went home. And so we got out our laptops, we sat at that kitchen island while while the painters were there, the the wallpaper guys were there, the electrician was there, and we helped out from South Carolina, our our practice here in South Georgia. And when we got back, our our new nurse practitioner, she was fairly new at the time, she apparently had ranted and raved to to our other folks that have been with us for years about how cool that was that despite what happened and despite the fact that we were out of state, we stopped what we were doing to help. And it m it matters to me. You know, that the business matters to me, the people matter to me.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

People notice when you pay attention. Yeah.

unknown 21:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

Just like if if there's a friend you hadn't seen in a while, but then they ask you about things that you're like, holy crap, like I didn't I didn't know that you were paying attention to that, you know? They're like, Oh, how's the new baby or how's the new house? Or the new car or something like that. Like people love that stuff because they feel seen, they feel recognized, they feel noticed. And and someone who feels like a like feels noticed, it feels like a real person. And a real person is going to be a better worker for you than a robot.

SPEAKER_01 22:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

No, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 22:18

I I would agree. Um, you know, and and I I think that that on that line of of learning to say say no about things, you know, it's tough. It's tough when when you're used to maybe overcommitting or you're used to trying to do everything for everybody. I know when when we had to learn to delegate to our staff and not try to handle everything. And the the Dan Martell, 80% by somebody else is 100% off. Awesome. You know, I really had to lean into that because to me, telling somebody, no, I can't do that, I then feel like I've let somebody down. You know, when in fact you have to do that a good bit of time to to help yourself out.

SPEAKER_00 23:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:01

You know, because if you're committing everything to everybody else, then you can't you can't look with inside you and the systems and the businesses and the things that you're trying to accomplish, getting home to family, doing those sort of things because you're too busy spreading yourself too thin.

SPEAKER_00 23:14

Well, and I think that it's it's a normal, you know, human desire or directive to want to say, I'm just gonna rely on me and I'm gonna get this done. But when you start building something, hopefully it becomes bigger than you are. And when it becomes bigger than you are, you cannot be the only person that you rely on. You know, does that mean that everybody will meet your expectations every time? Absolutely not. But it means that that maybe there's some opportunities for growth, that there's some areas that you can address where some change can be made or something like that. But you cannot continue to have the mentality of it's all on me whenever it's not just a team of me, you know, it's it's multiple people, multiple personalities, multiple challenges. Even dealing with, I know you've talked about the that it was such an adjustment for you dealing with interpersonal issues, dealing with time off, with family issues, challenges, medical stuff, different things like that. You know, that all comes with the human dynamic. Right. You know, and so regardless of the fact that I don't think you or I ever have medical issues that often, that doesn't mean other people don't. Sure. And so, you know, I've got to try to be understanding sometimes whenever um there are people that I've got to fill in for at work that they're out for medical reasons or because maybe they've got a kid that's sick or something like that. I haven't known what that's like until, you know, just now. I mean, I just now have a what I guess he's six, seven weeks old at this point. Um, you know, I don't know what it's like to have to leave work because your kid's sick or gets kicked out of daycare or has COVID or bit another kid or whatever it is, you know. Um, that's gonna be a new challenge for me. And luckily, I work with a team of people that, you know, many of them have children, they're gonna be more understanding of that than I was because their priority is different, because their priority is the safety of their children. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

No, I absolutely I think it gives you a whole new perspective and and outlook on on not only your life, but the lives of other people, um, you know, and and the things that they go through and they have to juggle the same. Well, hey, mom works, dad works. How do we get how do we get baby from daycare? You know, how how do how do we get this set up? So um, yeah, it it it becomes a puzzle that that it takes a team, it takes a village.

SPEAKER_00 25:23

So, so I'll talk about um, so this was in I don't know if you've read it, but I know I'll give you a copy. The book that I wrote, the last chapter in the book that I wrote is called The Priority of Comfort. And so one of the reasons that I I wrote that chapter in that book was because so many people act as if like we're talking about right now, that they don't have time for something, but in reality, they're not honest about what their priorities are. And so, like I had this client who said, you know, well, I want to be healthy. Well, that's a very vague goal. I mean, that that could mean a lot of things. It could mean I want to lower my cholesterol, it could mean I want to try to get more sun. There's so many things that saying I want to be healthy could mean. It could mean socially healthy, spiritually healthy, physically. I mean, there's there's a lot of different aspects. Yeah. And so I asked him, I was like, okay, well, what does that mean? You know, does that mean you're gonna start going to the gym? Oh, no, I'm not gonna go to the gym. Oh, okay. Well, I mean, are you gonna, you know, start um, you know, changing your diet and everything else? Well, I don't want to change it too much. I say, okay, so what are you doing? Well, I'm just gonna avoid like sweets. And I'm like, okay, well, I mean, could that help? Sure, you know, but is that gonna give you a lot of tangible outcome? Probably not. And so the reality of it is is that we tell ourselves that something's a priority, but what the real priority is is our own comfort. We want the like, I I love starting a problem or a project and having no distractions and being able to finish it completely. How often do you think that happens? Not life, yeah. Right. That's not real life. You know, it's like you'll start in the middle of a project and realize, oh crap, I didn't buy enough wood or I didn't buy the right screws for this piece or something like that. You're gonna have to go back to the hardware store. But I will tell you, there's this magic moment when it all clicks and you've got everything you need and you get it done, you have zero interruptions. It, I will tell you, that is like rubbing a genie out of a bottle, man. Like, because it almost never happens. It should not be the norm. It should not be something that you set up as the standard. It should be an outlier, you know, from a statistical standpoint. And so, you know, we treat life as if it's supposed to be that same way, that we just have an endeavor, we start the endeavor, people join along with us, and it succeeds. Yeah, there are so many hiccups that happen. And so the question is, is the priority your comfort of I want to do this easily or I want to do this quickly or something like that? Or I am my priority is to see this come to fruition no matter what happens. And so part of be uh of getting to that point is being honest with yourself and saying, listen, I am so addicted to my own comfort and the ease of which I want this that I probably will never get to the outcome. Like I unlike you, like I do not really want to be a business owner. I I've done that a couple of times in different, very small, limited capacities. I do not want to do that. I don't want to deal with the licenses and the LLCs and the paychecks, and it's just a headache for me. I don't want to deal with even private practice therapy. It's a headache because people want to try to build through their insurance. I'm like, well, I don't want to do that. Like, you may want to build your insurance. Maybe we're not a good fit. Like, I I will admit 100% that is a comfort issue on my part that that more than likely has limited my capacity or my effectiveness because I'm not willing to sacrifice that much of my peace of mind in order to gain that level of success.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

But would you be happy doing all that stuff? I mean, that's the thing. Like, you're no you say you're limiting yourself, but I think that you've been there, done that, and you don't want to do it. So it's it's not like you're saying, you know, well, what if, or making making a judgment call on something you don't know anything about. So I think that that's you setting your own standards, and I love that. Right.

SPEAKER_00 29:14

And it's it's I had to shift my priority because you know, the idea is you know, become a therapist, you become licensed, all this other stuff, you start your own practice, you bill insurance. Well, here's the thing is like then I was I'd be at home wondering, well, I wonder if insurance is going to pay this month. Oh, sure. Next month, the week, the month after. You know, and like I love the dependability of a consistent salaried income. Yeah, you know, and and that probably limits me to how much money I could make on a big scale, but it gives me a lot of peace of mind that when I'm home, I don't have to wonder when my paycheck is coming. I don't have to wonder how much my paycheck is going to be. And and I do believe, you know, personality-wise, that's a limiting factor for my point, because you know, I could potentially do very well in private practice. However, I'm not willing to uh you prioritize that peace of mind.

SPEAKER_01 30:05

Exactly. Yeah, and that's that's the beauty, and that's right in what we're talking about.

SPEAKER_00 30:09

You know, you could, right, but because I don't trust insurance companies, I don't want anything to do with insurance companies. You know, I've I've been out of school with my counseling degree for over 10 years, and I'm thanking God that I've never had to have a job that was solely on insurance, you know, that it was that I've been able to find salaried positions or different types of positions working for an organization where somebody else had to handle all that because I know about me that that administrative work and a lot of that um that paperwork, it just bogs me down to the point that I don't enjoy what I do anymore. Yeah. And if that means I make less, I'm okay with that. Yeah. But I I don't I don't want to rob myself of that peace of mind of feeling like I enjoy what I do. Sure.

SPEAKER_01 30:52

Well, and I and I think that's you're right. I am the opposite. That's that's that's what kind of makes me tick. I like to establish time for that administrative work, working on the business, and and then having my time working in the business. And that's where it's the priority for me that I've got to try to balance two things. Yeah, yeah. I've got plenty of time. I'm not talking to people. So I'm an extrovert.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

So whenever I'm doing paperwork, I'm not talking to anybody.

SPEAKER_01 31:16

You know, I don't want to do that. Doing paperwork.

SPEAKER_00 31:21

Like give me a room full of people and we can file those, you know, insurance reports so fast, it'd be it'd be great. Yeah, no, I get that.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

No, I you know, I I I think you're right, but I I do I do think you're you're a little different, and I think that's what that's what our listeners should should take heed of is hey, look, you could do something bigger than than what you're doing and and and more wide-scoped, but you've done that and you don't want to do that, you prioritize that peace of mind, whereas maybe I prioritize the chaos. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

Well, I I think with any entrepreneurial endeavor, you've got to prioritize the business to your personality.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

That if you try to fit yourself to what the business is gonna be, it's probably gonna fail.

SPEAKER_02 32:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

Because it's people can change, but most people don't change because they want to, they change because they have to. And so people who who end up sensing failure in an endeavor like that will more than likely abandon the failure before they'll be able to have any kind of effective personality change. And so being able to find something of like what is conducive to my personality. Like I love to be busy and I know that I do not like administrative work and paperwork. I I can do it, I can do it well. You know, I've got great typing skills and English skills and writing skills and everything else, but that's not what I want to do. I want to be face to face with people, I want to be face to face with real world problems, and I want something I can put my hands on. Yeah. And so that is a limiting aspect, but I'm also have no, I don't feel flawed because of that. I'm aware of it, I accept it, I embrace it.

unknown 32:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:50

No, I agree. I mean, I I think that goes in line with with kind of how medical school is, right? We we spend our first two years in the classroom knowing we want to be a doctor, and the next two years we're out in clinics doing different rotations, finding out what do we want to do, what do we like, but more importantly, what do we don't like? You know, I I don't want to be woke up at 2 a.m. to deliver a baby. You know, that's that's not my goal. I also don't want to be woken up at 2 a.m. to go, you know, sew somebody's leg back on. Like that's not my goal either. But so yeah, I mean I I think through through years of experience.

SPEAKER_00 33:22

Well, that's very, very similar to like mental health therapy, is like I cannot be a crisis center for everybody that I that I work with. That you know, I would have zero personal life if I'm used to people calling me whenever they're in distress or something like that. Like, that's what crisis hotlines are for and different inpatient units and stuff like that. Even though I genuinely care about people, I can't degrade my quality of life because I'll be ineffective in what I do.

unknown 33:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:47

And and there are other people that that enjoy that. You know, I've got a guy that loves the crite, he wants to be in in the in the the the pit with everybody down there, and I'm just like, that's crazy. But that's what what makes him tick, and I love that for him. I'm not scared to go there, but I can't stay there. Yeah, no, I get it. Uh yeah. It it it it doesn't do anything for you. It it doesn't, you know, and I think we all have to have f that fulfillment in in what we do for sure. Yeah, I got it. So as as we start to wrap up here, I I really want to challenge our listeners to look at at three things, okay, right? So so if you want to know where your priorities lie, you need to look at your calendar. What are you doing with your time? Your bank account, what are you doing with your money, right? Are you are are you paying your future self? Are you blowing every dime you get? And what are you doing with your energy? So where where are you putting that that that time? Where you where are you investing yourself, whether that's from a health perspective, a wealth perspective, a family perspective, you know, you've you've got these three kind of KPIs that you can just look at and see where where is your time going, where's your energy going, and where's your money going?

SPEAKER_00 35:03

I'll say for people who come home from work every night and they're like, I'm exhausted, I got nothing left. You're doing it wrong. Yeah. Bottom line, you're doing it wrong. Or or you're working for a place that's requiring so much of you that you don't have anything left, and you've got to find out how do I change this? Because if your family is getting 10% of you, they're not getting near what they deserve. Yeah. And so they deserve more than just a paycheck from uh, you know, from a parent, from a partner, from a spouse, all those other things.

unknown 35:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 35:33

No, I I agree. And and you know, I I think that fits in well, and I'll make a little plug for for fire health here. I know there's a lot of folks out there that are working W-2 jobs, and and a lot of them stay in that W-2 for the benefits, for the health insurance. And the consistency. Yeah. And then they're trying to do this side hustle, they're trying to figure out something that works for them where they don't they don't have to work that W-2. But I think a lot of people are kind of handcuffed to the job for those benefits. And I would encourage you to to check out Fire Health, see what we can do, you know, to kind of help bridge that gap, um, both from a from a health perspective, but also from the stuff we talk about here, the the real life implications that that maybe we we lose track of. Um, you know, you create systems for a lot of business issues, but maybe we don't create systems in our life or or with our health. And and that's something we want to help people with is to kind of take that outside the bubble view and be able to kind of reframe maybe what they're doing to make a better version, better version at work, better version at home, you know, and and that that's that's what I think we all strive for.

SPEAKER_00 36:37

And so from a mental health standpoint, I mean, the thing that I would say is that, you know, there there are multiple facets to who we are, you know, that we've got the physical component, the mental component, the psychological, mental, uh, the emotional, relational, spiritual, you know, all these different areas. And so realistically, if you want to find a way to be a resilient person, there has to be some level of priority in all these different aspects, you know, and so you're like, okay, well, I'm not a go-to-church type person. That's fine. I want to know how are you engaging with your spirituality throughout the week? Is that through podcasts? Is that through studying your holy books or or what whatever your uh you know religious background might be? How are you remaining connected to that? Because connection is the biggest source of energy. Imagine you've got a battery in front of you, but you got no way to hook it up. You're not gonna get any power from it. And so you've got to find some way to be connected to these things that do charge you back up. And so that's gotta be a priority first and foremost because you making your health, your well-being, your stability a priority is not selfish. It is necessary because if you are not connected to the things that that recharge you, then you're basically doing a shitty job at everything else. You know, just to kind of not mince words on it.

SPEAKER_01 37:52

Sure, sure. Well, you know, we've said it before. If you're not around, you you can't build that business. If you don't manage your health, you can't make the wealth. I mean, that's gotta be your first priority is is taking care of yourself so you can do the job or jobs or live the life, grow the life that you want.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Yeah. Perfect.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

Well, get your priorities right, Jonathan. That's right. I gotta look at my calendar, my bank account, and and my my energy and see where it's at.

SPEAKER_00 38:17

Uh, right now, my priority is just that baby on the couch. And so, you know, until until I go back to work, you know, it's uh just a uh poo peddler. That's all I am right now.

SPEAKER_01 38:26

Well, and I think you'll be a good, a good kind of test case, right? Because you're gonna have to reorchestrate your life. We talked about it before we got on here about what you're gonna do to work on getting into that new routine and schedule that that kind of blends what you need to do to take care of your head of yourself and your health with helping Christy, doing stuff for Gideon, being being the dad you want to be. And you know, so that's where you've got to kind of restructure your priorities with the new edition. Sure. And it's trial and error. That's that's right. There's there's no well, there are books on parenting, but there's nothing like real world experience.

SPEAKER_00 39:01

Right. There's maybe books on it, but books and templates are two different things. That's right. That's right.

unknown 39:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:08

All right, Jonathan. Well, thanks for your input on priorities. Hopefully, this was uh helpful for you guys. I think this is a challenge for all of us. Um, if not, always at least in different seasons of life. So, so you know, check with your family. And if you want to know the best way to double check your priorities, ask your family. Ask the people that are closest to you and see what their feedback is. You know, um, maybe you're not spending as much time at home as they would like, and maybe you're not able to. That's okay. Set that new normal of what you are able to deliver and then give them something they can rely on or depend on, and you'll notice that some of that resistance goes away once you give them a reliable thing to depend on. So work on those priorities, guys. But other than that, I think that's it for us this week, Jonathan. Any other comments or feedback? No, we'll be back next week. Awesome, you guys. Well, y'all have a wonderful rest of your week, and we'll see you on the next episode of The Long Burn. Talk to you later.