Episode 8 - Tim Jester - Financial Entrepreneur

The Long Burn – "Burning the Ships"

Guest: Tim Jester, CFP and Founder of ITA Wealth Partners

In this debut guest episode, hosts Joel Malin and Dr. Jonathan Wade (aka "Dirty Dr. Wade") sit down with Nashville-based financial advisor Tim Jester. The conversation moves quickly from playful banter to a deep dive into the "grind culture" of financial services, the psychological toll of entrepreneurship, and the importance of choosing people over products.

Key Takeaways

• The "Burn the Ships" Mentality: Tim shares the story of Cortez burning his fleet to ensure his men had no choice but to succeed. He applies this to business: Plan A can only succeed when you eliminate the safety net of Plan B.
• Culture vs. Commission: Tim left the "insurance-centric" world to escape the pressure of selling products that weren't always in the client’s best interest. He argues that a truly independent practice allows an advisor to prioritize the client's goals over a sales quota.
• Rejecting "Grind Culture": The industry often rewards the "first in, last out" mentality, which Tim identifies as a recipe for broken marriages and estranged children. He built ITA Wealth Partners to prove you can have a high-performing business while still being present for school recitals and date nights.
• The 10-3-1 Equation: Tim critiques the traditional sales funnel (10 referrals lead to 3 meetings, which lead to 1 client). While mathematically sound, he finds it "icky" and disingenuous, opting instead for organic community involvement and a "long game" approach to relationships.
• Individual over Modality: Joel draws a parallel to therapy, noting that the best professionals fit the solution to the human being, rather than trying to force the human into a pre-packaged "product" or treatment model.

Memorable Quotes

"Your nervous system will 100% of the time take the hell it understands over the peace it doesn't." — Tim Jester"Plan A can’t succeed as long as you're constantly constructing a fallback plan... the moment you have a safe out or an easy pass back into comfort, we’re human beings—we’re going to take it." — Joel Malin"I’ve come to a place in my life where I am grateful for all the mistakes that I’ve made because they brought me to where I am." — Tim Jester

The Firing Line: Question #1

The Question: What’s a failure that cost you more than money, and what did it change about how you operate today?

Tim’s Answer: Tim reflects on his 20s, where unresolved childhood pain and anger led him to "run through" personal and professional relationships. He lost clients and burned bridges with people he loved. This failure taught him the value of therapy and self-awareness, ultimately shifting his focus toward empathy and making people feel "heard and valued" rather than just being a number in a spreadsheet.

The Verdict

Who should listen? Entrepreneurs feeling the "head in hands" weight of starting out, or any professional feeling trapped in a toxic "grind" environment who needs a reminder that success doesn't have to come at the cost of your family.

Tim Jester’s journey from a high-pressure insurance firm to a values-based independent practice is a roadmap for anyone looking to "burn their ships" and build something authentic.

To get in touch with Tim Jester for financial advising, please visit https://itawealthpartners.com/ or you can reach Tim via email at tim@itawealthpartners.com

Transcript

SPEAKER_05 0:07

All right, hello everybody. Welcome to the long burn. Uh so we're doing a different episode today. We have in-house with us, of course, as always, Dr. Jonathan Wade. Hi, Joel. How are you? Hello, Dirty Dr. Wade. Whatever we said. Oh man, we're gonna make that name stick, aren't we? Dr. Wade. Uh so um then we also have with us Tim Jester, who is a financial advisor and business owner in Nashville, Brentwood. Is it Brentwood, Tennessee, Tim?

SPEAKER_00 0:37

Actually, I live in Old Hickory and my practice just spans the greater Nashville area and and yeah, I'm I'm licensed and sure.

SPEAKER_05 0:44

Go ahead and throw your home address out there if you want to. We'll just give it to everybody, you know.

SPEAKER_00 0:50

I I did work in Brentwood for a lot of years, uh, but uh when I launched my own practice, I I gave up the Brentwood address for more of a downtown address. So gotcha. Gotcha.

SPEAKER_05 1:00

So yeah, so we got a little bit of a different uh episode today. Uh Tim has done us the honor of being our first guest for the podcast. So um we're gonna try to grill him and make him uncomfortable as possible, getting some feedback from him. Uh, the general topic of discussion, we wanted to keep it free for him today of asking him, you know, what was it like working for financial organizations and then making the transition into owning his own business practice? And also we want to give Tim an opportunity just to explain uh your your business, Tim, kind of explain, you know, what it's about, what you do, and why did you make the transition? So no pressure, but uh one, two, three, go. Boom.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

Well, thanks for having me. I'm honored to be your first guest, uh, and hopefully I won't be your last guest. Uh hopefully decide at the end.

SPEAKER_05 1:44

You can make you can decide at the end whether it was an honor or not.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Oh man. Well, yeah, uh Joel, I've known you a long time, so it's good to reconnect here. And uh Dr. Dirty Dr. Wade, it's good to good to meet you. And um, thanks thanks for having me on here. Uh yeah, I'm a certified financial planner and private wealth manager, and my firm is called ITA Wealth Partners. Uh, I've been in business for myself for about 10 years. I did start off working in uh a business that somebody else owned. Uh feel fortunate that I never signed any sort of non-compete. I always knew that I either wanted to own equity in the business where my practice was parked or that I would want to own that business outright. Uh, and that happened uh in December of 2025. I finally left the business where my practice was parked and launched my own wealth management firm.

SPEAKER_05 2:35

So is that did you get pressured to sign in like a non-compete or anything?

SPEAKER_00 2:41

Uh it depends on the environment that you're in. There are certainly lots of different pressures depending on what sort of organization you're in. I've spent I spent a lot of my career in organizations that were insurance-centric. And one of the reasons I decided to leave those organizations and go completely independent is because of the pressure you get to sell a product. And uh I I believe that there are good products and good solutions for for the right problems, but the pressure to sell a product is uncomfy for me. Some people make a lot of money doing it, but I feel like at a certain point, if you're in that environment, you're gonna have to choose between your your own best interest and the client's best interest, and you should never have to put yourself in that position. And so uh yeah, so I six, I guess seven years ago left the insurance world and went to an independent financial planning firm and was there for six years until um say six. Listen, LinkedIn is the official purveyor of professional time, so don't hold me uh to the exact years. Uh uh, but six or seven years ago went to Russell and Associates and then in December launched my own firm. So I brought my whole practice with me. It wasn't starting from zero, but uh gotcha. So we we now have there's myself, uh I brought on another advisor in Atlanta, so we have offices in Nashville and Atlanta now, and then we have a staff person that's also remote. Uh, and we're looking to grow and expand, both clients and advisors.

SPEAKER_01 4:03

So you see an office in Jacksonville just for my benefit. You said you you kind of launched this in December of last year, is that right?

SPEAKER_00 4:12

Yeah, I launched ITA Wealth Partners. The um the building of the infrastructure and the planning started before December, but I actually went and had the conversation with uh with the managing director at Reston Associates about about making the move, and we decided that December was the right December 1st was the right date.

SPEAKER_05 4:28

So long is this miracle?

SPEAKER_01 4:31

It was. How long was that period of of kind of that when it when it got in your brain from when you pulled the trigger?

SPEAKER_00 4:38

About I about 18 months. Um I there are two things that I have always ever wanted my practice to be, in addition to just helping people and making a broader impact in people's lives. But one of them is that I I think I said earlier, I always ever wanted to have equity ownership in the business where my practice was parked. At the very beginning, unless you have a rich uncle, that's almost impossible to do. You have to start somewhere else. Uh, but it's also basically understood at a certain point if your business is big enough and producing enough revenue, that equity ownership in the in the business is just sort of the next step. Uh and the realization that by no nothing I had any control of that wasn't going to happen in a timely manner, or at least in the timely manner that I wanted, uh, and I was having less and less control or opportunity to control the culture at the office, which uh maybe control the culture is the wrong way of putting that, but a lot of culture throughout financial services in the planning industry is pretty toxic. Uh there's a there's a tremendous number of men who have great businesses and second, third, fourth wives don't have relationships with their kids, uh, and there's not a lot of focus on building a business and doing it while you're also fostering a healthy marriage and and being a good parent. And that's always been really important to me. And um And for the record. You have three three children still married. Yeah. We'll be, I think, I think this year will be 14 years. Congratulations. All the happy ones were uh because of her, and all the tar hard ones were because of me.

SPEAKER_05 6:15

And so that's did she tell you to say that?

SPEAKER_00 6:19

No, it's just uh it it's uh it uh well, Joel. I've gone to a lot of counseling since just seeing as I'm talking to a counselor. Great amounts of therapy. Um yeah, well, I guess I was I I got away from answering your questions. It was about 18 months. I just realized that I I I wasn't gonna be able to build the culture that I wanted over the rest of my career, and equity looked like it was a lot farther off than it needed to be. And then the really the linchpin that made it all happen is I I just I I I brokered a deal with my broker dealer for my payout that that basically changed it enough that I could pay for all the infrastructure that I needed without touching my personal income. And I was like, oh well, why would I wait? Why would I not do this now? So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 7:02

So so what what about one of those uh you know, the the the the fear, the trepidation of kind of going out on your own, hanging a shingle per se, as they say in the in the medical world. Um if if you brought your practice with you and you had that that deal, did you have any of those head-and-hands moments since you started on your own?

SPEAKER_00 7:21

I don't I really haven't since December. Uh that that was uh was a move I made with a lot of confidence. Um none of I didn't none of the practice that I built was was really built around the business where my practice was parked. It was built around a relationship with me. Uh and and so that is one shift that I'm having to make uh is that now that I own the business and I'm bringing advisors onto the business, I want to give them a platform where they feel confident building their business around ITA wealth partners and not having to build it around their personal name because they know maybe someday they'll leave. And that's that's been a pretty big brain shift. It's not been a head-in-my-hands moment, but it but it's been an opportunity for me to grow and think about all right, how do I build a business where people want to identify with the business, where they think of ITA and think of uh a place that's uh that is home, where they can come to work with their kids, or where they can uh they know that nobody's gonna give them hell because they left early so they could take their wife on a date, right? You can you can have a great business and be a great family person and a great spouse at the same time. And um I just think if we build the right culture, people won't have to build their business identities around their their personal selves, they can build it around ITA, and that's that that was sort of a new thought for me. Um I will say ten years ago when I started this, the head and my hands moments were just around um the grit it takes to make something.

SPEAKER_02 8:52

So I have this. See that?

SPEAKER_04 8:57

It's a picture of a range.

SPEAKER_00 8:59

Um what I guess there's no camera here. I'm showing a picture of Cortez's ships. Uh have you guys heard the story of Cortez's ships? I think Joel and I have talked about this before, but you guys heard the story.

SPEAKER_05 9:11

Just a little off the side.

SPEAKER_00 9:12

Very easily could be now. Um no, so so 10 years ago, uh when I when I started this business, um, I you know, I made sure I had my wife's buy-in, I made sure she understood how hard it was gonna be. But I also I didn't I knew that if I made this shift, I didn't want to make another one. I was if I was gonna go back into business for myself and be a financial advisor, be a wealth manager, it was what I was gonna do for the rest of my career. Um and I also know that on the hardest day, uh if you have the opportunity to make a different decision, you'll probably make it.

SPEAKER_04 9:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:45

And so I uh from day one, I printed this off and put it in this cheap little firm, this uh full uh frame, this picture of Cortez's ships. This the story is you know, Cortez sailed to uh South America with his with his army and they loaded off their boats onto the beaches, and in about six seconds realized that the Incan nation was just gonna eat their lunch. There was no way they could they could take South America for for Spain. Uh and so they went to Cortez and said, Hey, we're out, we want to go home. And Cortez said, Yep, I get it. That makes a lot of sense. Put up your tents tonight, we're gonna spend the night, we'll go home in the morning. And then while everybody was asleep, he burned their ships. Right? So that they had no um no recourse but to wake up and fight or die. And uh the head and the hand moments that I experienced over the first three or four years of building this practice were around taking that leap and knowing that um if I didn't produce, then my wife and my kid didn't eat and our mortgage wouldn't get paid. And there were some checks that bounced, and there were some account balances that went into the negative. And that those were those were really, really hard moments.

SPEAKER_05 10:53

Uh, it's funny that that story, you know, I don't I think we might have talked about it on here before, is the idea they say burn your plan B, that plan A can't succeed as long as you're constantly constructing a fallback plan. Like all of your efforts need to go into plan A succeeding because the moment you have a safe out or an easy pass back into comfort, you're we're we're human beings, we're gonna take it, you know, versus just saying like this is our only option, we have to make this work.

SPEAKER_01 11:19

Yeah, I I love that mentality. I mean, you're you're you're burning the boats, there, you're your your back's against the wall, you got everybody counting on you, but then at the end of the day, uh the folks that count on you matter the most. So they're they're kind of your why and your motivation, uh, you know, as well as those that you've got to support and take care of. So I I love that. I love that mentality.

SPEAKER_00 11:38

What is the there's a saying that I'm probably gonna butcher this, but you guys have probably heard it. Uh uh, your nervous system will 100% of the time take the hell it understands over the piece it doesn't. Uh have you heard that before?

SPEAKER_04 11:51

Yeah, familiarity.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Yeah. It's like you're you're you're you're gonna take what you know and and uh so I uh you know, it on the on the on the very hardest day, if you have a plan B, you're probably gonna go to plan B because it just you know yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 12:09

That would sound comfortable, it sounds familiar. Yeah, yep. And I I love the culture you're building too. I I think that's that's right. You you want people to come want to work for you, want to work for your business, want to to to be a a part of what you're growing. And I mean that's that's what we've done here, and I I I think that's been our biggest asset is to to create a place that that people want to come to work, love coming to work because it's part of the family. Um and I and I like what you said about letting the kid letting the people go to to to go to a recital or something that's going on with your kids. We do that all the time because when you find good people, you want to take care of them and and you realize that that it's not just them, it's their families that are that are coming to be a part of your business as well.

SPEAKER_00 12:48

Yeah. I I spent years in organizations where if you didn't show up at 7.30 in the morning, you you were looked down on. And you can't take your kids to school if you have to be somewhere at 7.30 in the morning, right? And and uh if you weren't the last person, you know, you you lose points in the whatever the the phantom success pool is in the office if you're not the last person to leave, and you can't eat dinner with your family if you're the last person to leave. And and and the reality is uh that's working harder, not smarter. That's grinding for the sake of grinding, which is really inefficient way to do anything.

SPEAKER_05 13:20

So um well, you said something earlier about you know the idea of not wanting to push a product, and I am so resistant to feel like I'm being sold something. Like anybody who's like, hey, do you want this free? Like, we'll go to Costco and they'll be like, Hey, do you want this free sample? No, I don't want to buy it. Like, stop making me sample it. I don't want it, you know. And so, and I've I've had that experience too, even trying to get some information about, you know, looking at rates for our mortgage, if we want to kind of reevaluate that or refinance or something like that. And you can tell whenever they're selling you a product versus saying, Hey, what is your goal? What how does it, what do you want and how you want to fit you know your your lifestyle to what you want for your family? And then you find a product that fits that versus you having to fit the client to the product. And this happens all the time in therapy that a lot of therapists say that, oh, well, um, I'm a CBT therapist or I'm a DBT or ACT or or Gestalt or whatever it might be. And and so whenever people ask me, well, what's your modality? I tell them I don't have one because I can't fit a client to a modality. I've got to fit the modality to the client. And so if I don't have exposure to all these different approaches, um, things like narrative therapy, some people just need to have their story heard. I don't need to do all these crazy interventions, I need to give them space for them to hear themselves working through their own grief, their own trauma or their own loss. And so, you know, I think that you're exactly right about selling something, is you're trying to fit somebody into your mold instead of trying to understand what their shape is and then giving them something that works with that instead. And I think people they they they know the difference. You know, they they respond much better whenever they can tell that you're hearing what matters to them and you're responding to what matters to them instead of selling what gives you maybe better paycheck or beta ratings or whatever it might be, you know, at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

100%. Uh I also just learned that if we leave uh a suggestion comment for Costco and they have their people say, Hey Joel, what are you trying to accomplish with dinner tonight? You might eat their samples for the first time. Uh yeah, yeah, people know when they're being sold, man. And I I think I think part of I was just talking to somebody about this last night. I think part of what pushes the grind culture. I'm not even sure the culture is is it trying like the general culture in financial services trying to be anti-family. I just think the grind culture is what takes over and everything else takes the second seat.

SPEAKER_05 15:42

Right.

SPEAKER_00 15:42

But I think it's because if you're playing a sales game, it is literally a numbers game. And there's there's a there's a guy named Alfred Granum who uh was a Northwestern Mutual Sales Uh Office Manager for a long time. And he managed the Chicago offers for 60, 70, I don't know, a very, very long time. And he had all of his advisors keep numbers, and he came up with this system that says if you get 10 referrals or 10 introductions to other people, you're gonna probably schedule three of those meetings, and then one of them will become a client. And if you follow up well, a second one will become a client at some point over the next five years. So he turned sales of insurance products, which that's what Northwestern Mutual does, into a mathematical equation. And so then I think the obsession just becomes how fast can I run through a million people, right? And because that's that's how you get that's how you get wealthy. And I think that just I think that obsession and and chasing fortune is it's maybe people even aren't they aren't trying to be bad spouses or bad parents. It's just the the there's so much focus and emphasis put on numbers and running through numbers so you can hit the goals that you've put out in front of you that it just and that's people and people feel sold. The problem that I see with that is that um in the 103-1 equation, you're supposed to not care that people feel sold because you just move on to the next one.

SPEAKER_04 17:00

Right.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Yeah, and that's what that's what feels so um abrasive and ick to me, right? Is is there's absolutely an opportunity opportunities to sell solutions, right? When you walk into Costco, you're not going in there to not spend money, there's a solution for a problem in there. There are also a lot of um solutions for problems I didn't know I had before I walked into Chaos.

SPEAKER_05 17:21

Now I know it's a problem because I just saw this new product. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 17:24

I had no idea that I wanted an electric scooter for $600. I just didn't even know that that's what I wanted.

SPEAKER_05 17:30

Now I need it.

SPEAKER_00 17:31

And it is purposeful that they put the rotisserie chickens at the farthest point of the building away from the front door. That is that is not on accident.

SPEAKER_05 17:38

So favorite thing that what it what's a slang for um for a rotisserie chicken? Do you know have you heard this before?

SPEAKER_00 17:45

What just call it a rotisserie chicken? What is it?

SPEAKER_05 17:47

It's called a bachelor's handbag. Have you never heard that before?

SPEAKER_00 17:52

No. Been married for 14 years. That became cool well after I had no idea what bachelor was like anymore.

SPEAKER_05 17:58

Bachelor's handbag, man. That's a good night for a dude. For a single dude, a whole rotisserie chicken, man, it's a good time. That's up there with Totino's pizza rolls.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

Yeah, uh, I mean, it's high protein, so I we'll buy one and I'll I'll eat it for lunch over three days. Just take off pieces and put it in hummus and eat it for lunch. So it's that's a good uh it's a good high protein line. A little greasy then more than it would be if, but anyway, it's delicious.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

Hey, so on the the 103-1, uh so if if we're not using a mass marketing funnel like that, how how do you guys market? How do you find clients?

SPEAKER_00 18:32

Yeah, um the short answer for me is that I could probably be a lot better at this, but I don't like people walking away from interactions feeling like they've been pressured to do anything. And so I set every relationship up with people by, you know, we obviously have to talk about how I comp I'm compensated and how I provide for my family. We have to talk about that. But I genuinely have found that the if I do enough good for enough people, the money has worked itself out. And so I always mention in the very first conversation that um what's most important to me is that if I bring value to people, if I bring peace of mind to people, if I bring financial security to people by holding them accountable and helping them, then I just beg them not to keep me a secret. Uh and and that has been um that's that has, I would say, by and large, worked. The other part of what I do, uh, and this is just for me, I can't speak for my colleague in Atlanta, although it's it's similar, um, is I am just out in the community all the time. So my my entire life is a long game for my family and my business. Uh and so, and I think that would be hard if I didn't like what I do, but I love what I do, and so um I can talk with a stranger anywhere. I have started working with clients because I met them in an elevator in a building and we talked for 10 minutes and they said, Hey, give me your card. Um, and then I've started working with a lot of people because uh the their friends said, Hey, you need to you need to work with Tim. So uh that those are the two.

SPEAKER_05 20:08

That model is lost in today's society. I mean, you've got to care about somebody else before they care about you or care about your product. And and so, but people just want you, it's like you want the masses to come to you first, but like, well, who are you? You know, and I think churches have missed the mark on this too, is that they're waiting for people to come for attendance instead of the church being active in the community and showing, hey, we love this community, we want to invest in this community, we want to make a difference in this community, and then the community being like, holy crap, they've been here the whole time. What am I missing out on? You know, like we want to be a part of this. And so, I mean, that that genuine, authentic approach values the individuality of each person. And now, because they don't feel threatened, they don't feel coerced, they don't feel sold, now they're willing to hear what it is that you do and actually have a genuine interest in it instead of feeling defensive and guarded. Just like I joke about like when I was growing up at a Southern Baptist church, we went around knocking on doors and evangelizing the people. Could you imagine doing that in today's culture? Like you would get shot, you know, yeah. They call the cops, like all kinds of crazy stuff. Like you can't, people are not as open and welcoming. And I think that that's a huge cultural shift that's taken place over time. So that model that you're using is probably pretty unique, I would say, in the market that you're in.

SPEAKER_00 21:19

I I think it is. Uh, I again the market that I'm in is mostly people asking for introductions and then running through and just running through numbers. Um, and I I also think that I've probably given up some growth in my practice because I'm not doing that, but I sleep pretty well at night. I'm not really worried about it. Yeah. Um I have a buddy that just joined Northwestern Mutual a couple years ago, and uh the way that they ask for referrals is that they open up an iPad and go to somebody's LinkedIn page and start scrolling through their LinkedIn contacts and say, Who here do you know that I can call on? I I I that is that is incredibly disingenuous. Yeah. Uh and um yeah, and so it's it you know, uh it it works if you play the numbers game, but it doesn't work at making people feel like you just really have their best interest at heart. So um yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:13

No, I I think that's great. I mean that's Joel can attest. We've spent money on radio ads, billboards, uh newspaper magazines, you name it, but word of mouth becomes our best marketer. You take care of it. Yeah, you take care of people and they'll go talk and and they become your best advertisement. Because right, I I I can talk about what we do and how we do stuff for people in the medical you know community all day long, but if I can get a patient to go talk to their family, their their co-workers, uh that that's where the truth comes out because they can speak from experience versus me feeling sales-like, even if I'm not trying to feel sales-like.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Yeah. 100%. If you if you take even a small amount of your energy every day to make sure the people that you interact with feel like they were just a little heard and a little uh a little um cared for. Yeah. It it it pays in spades.

SPEAKER_05 23:09

And I'm not saying that to valued, seen and valued for who they are, not for who everyone else has wanted them to be for so many years. Huge difference.

SPEAKER_00 23:19

Yeah. Yeah. It it it pay it uh you shouldn't do it because it pays in spades, but it does pay in spades. Like I think your motivation is important too. I p and people can see through that. People aren't dumb. Um, yeah. Make people feel valuable.

SPEAKER_05 23:35

Well, I'll tell you what, you do we want to move into our firing line questions, Jonathan? Yeah, first round of firing line. Here we go. Okay, so we're gonna try this. The Tim's our guinea pig with not only being the first guest, but something we want to do is ask three specific questions to guests, and we're calling this the firing line insert explosion sounds and other fiery, boomy things. Okay, so firing line questions. So we've got question number one is what's a failure that cost you more than money, and what did it change about how you operate today, Tim?

SPEAKER_02 24:11

Failure that cost me more than money.

SPEAKER_00 24:14

Um I I think I I I should have had I I so I I think I guess the thing that comes to mind first is just that early on in my career, I was still dealing with a lot of pain and anger and resentment in my life that I that that came from sort of a sort of assorted childhood. And I I ran through a lot of relationships uh professionally and personally uh before I sort of came to my senses. And so I it it cost me more than money because some of those relationships will never be repaired, and they were people that I loved. Uh, and it cost me money because some of them were clients, and I was just acting like a uh uh acting like an idiot. And you know, I it's it's uh I I well I referenced this conversation earlier, but I in the same conversation that I had with a friend yesterday morning, um I I was telling him that there really is I've come to a place in my life where I am grateful for all the mistakes that I've made because they've brought me to where I am, and I'm grateful for the pain that I experienced, you know, in in childhood, and and so that's a whole different story for different podcasts, but a lot of that pain that I let out on other people in my 20s was was from stuff that I endured in my childhood. And so I I wouldn't change any of that except for I absolutely would take back the pain I caused other people at my expense and at my immaturity. No, none of those people deserved uh to to come into contact with me in a negative manner the way that a lot of them did. And so I think that's probably the biggest failure. Also, though, I I don't know that I would characterize it as failure because I didn't know any better at that point, and I've tried to grow. So maybe that's not the best answer to your question. Uh I'm not there anymore.

SPEAKER_05 26:09

Whether you realize it or not, your answer actually belies your motivation. You didn't talk about business failure, you didn't talk about money failure, you talked about relational and emotional failure.

unknown 26:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 26:19

And so I mean, I in my in my mind, that what that does, it's almost like a Freudian slip, like, oops, uh, I just I made a point that I actually care about people. Dang, you know, I got it out there. You know, and you learn from it. Great answer.

SPEAKER_01 26:31

Yeah, you learn from it. You it it's crafted your your business and who you are today. And you know, we can't change the past, but you can make the make the present and the future different.

SPEAKER_00 26:42

Yeah, yeah. And I would be, I think I'd be remiss if I didn't at least say that um I I'm not I'm not done growing. Yeah, yeah. There's there's a lot of changes to be made yet. So um my I might I'm sure my kids and my wife can attest to that more than anybody else.

SPEAKER_05 26:58

We'll put them on the next episode, we'll get their input on that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:05

I'll not listen to that one.

SPEAKER_05 27:07

Question number two. What belief did you have to unlearn to keep growing without burning out?

SPEAKER_00 27:15

Oh man. Uh I have consistently had to work on improving the stories that I tell about myself in my head. Uh they uh have been uh what's the what's the rating on this T on this on this show? They've been bad for a long time. Um yeah, you can use any other verb, uh excuse me, adjective that you want. Um so I think that's that's what I've had to unlearn. And I and the these courses have come in cycles, really. Uh I'll I'll be great for a while, and then I'll find myself at a low point and I'll need to re-engage with a therapist. Or most recently, I hired a coach uh who has made just an incredible amount of difference for me. So I've I've I've had a coach um uh for about a year and a half now, and I I was sitting with him uh a little longer than a year and a half ago, uh maybe 18 months ago, and I just we were sitting in a coffee shop and I was interviewing this guy. Uh well, I he was kind of interviewing me and I was interviewing him. We were just sort of seeing if it was going to be a good fit. And I I sat there and had tears in my eyes, and I said, John Michael, I am I know I'm capable of more, and I cannot figure out why I can't do it. Like I I feel like I feel inside of me this opportunity to do so much more, and it's not happening, and I just need help. And uh and the the first thing he started working on with me was changing the stories I tell about myself in my head, working on abundance mindset instead of the closed-minded, uh, the closed-fisted mindset, um, opening yourself up to um to believing in uh manifestation and not believing that it's hokey to write stuff on your mirror like 10 advisors, a billion of AUM in less than 10 years, right? You know, and I so I I literally have written on my mirror where I brush my teeth every morning. Uh, I'm a good dad, I'm a good husband, I'm a good business owner. ITA wealth partners will be worth a billion dollars of asset center management in 10 years with 10 advisors. I love it. I love it, man. Yeah, so it's just untelling the stories I told about myself in my head for so long.

SPEAKER_05 29:27

You know, it yeah, people call it manifesting and all this other stuff. And see, people even use the phrase fake until you make it, and that usually is kind of off-putting to a lot of people. Um, some of that is the idea uh therapeutically or psychologically, they they say it's acting as if.

unknown 29:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 29:42

So what they would say is if I felt fully rested and truly grateful for my family, how would I treat them today? If I felt truly successful, how would that change my conversations with the people I'm gonna interact with today? And so you know, obviously that's not it doesn't change your reality, but it does change your perspective and it changes your interaction, it changes your engagement level and everything else. And I think that's a great way of doing that. And and like you said, some people may think it's hokey and all that other stuff. I mean, my wife loves to put crystals in the window and I said, What are those doing there? She said they're charging, and I'm like, okay, if that's what she loves to do, and she loves to feel the energy off of the earth or or gems or whatever it is, and she feels fulfilled and stabilized and happy about that, why would I poo-poo that?

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yeah, yeah, I I have come to a point where I care very little what other people think if it's important to me. Right. Uh, and you know, there's something to be said for vibrations and for energy fields, and I, you know, and and I spent most of my life thinking that was hokey, but I I don't. I, you know, if everything, if literally everything in our existence is some spectrum of energy on the energy spectrum, it doesn't, I mean, it it sort of makes sense that a thought written down will be the first step in actually materializing what you just wrote down, right? And so I just here's a I I actually haven't read this in too long, but this is just a good example of something that John Michael made me do uh not long after we started working together. So I wrote this, it's dated 8, 14, 2025. He said, Write a letter to yourself about where you want to be in five years. And I said, Dear Tim, thank you for five years ago giving yourself permission to unleas yourself and become everything you've become today. You were 43 then and 50 is around the corner. In the last five years, you've more than made up for the 10 years you sometimes talk about losing your mid-20s as you pulled yourself out of the trauma and dysfunction handed to you by your parents. I'm proud of you. I'm proud of you now in ways you didn't know how to be proud of yourself then. You're a good husband, a good dad, a good business owner, and you've managed to do all three things incredibly well despite so few people accomplishing these three things simultaneously around you. I love you, man. Thank you. Keep kicking ass. You're unstoppable. That's awesome.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

That's awesome. Yeah, I learned I learned about a I learned about a book this weekend by Dr. Benjamin Hardy called Uh Be Your Future Self Now. And I think that's kind of that fake it till you make it or or manifestation. So, you know, be in that person that you want to be, and you'll get there. Absolutely. Yeah. That's great too.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

You know, and it I don't know where I'm actually gonna end up, but it's gonna be better than where I am now because I'm trying. Amen. You know but the but just think about that.

SPEAKER_05 32:14

Even if those things never let's say they never do fully come true, think about the amount of positivity that has been injected into your psyche and into your life just by being willing to consider or live up into those dreams or aspirations because you're allowing yourself to believe it, you're allowing yourself to pursue it and hopefully eventually allow yourself to achieve it in the long run.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

Yeah, a hundred percent. Well, I uh you know, a couple people that have come over to our house and then used our bathroom are like, that's a that's a lofty goal you've got for uh for uh ITA there. And uh my response is yeah, it is. And if I get halfway there in 10 years, I'm not gonna be pissed off about it. Sure. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So all right.

SPEAKER_05 32:57

Well, for the I'm gonna keep us moving just for the sake of time. I know you got some other obligations today. Question number three. Okay. What does success look like in this season of your life, not five years ago?

SPEAKER_00 33:10

Yeah, that's a that's a really good question. And it's actually the the opposite of what you just read.

SPEAKER_05 33:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

Yeah. Well, five years ago, I wasn't focusing on these things, and I am very much focusing on these things now. And like they they they are to be, well, it's it's funny. I say these things so often. My sister started like a drinking game. Uh, but uh if it's not focused on being a good husband, a good father, or a good business owner, it doesn't get my attention anymore. Right. Uh and I part of the process with with John Michael, my coach, and and and some other things that happened in life helped me realize that I was trying to be way too many things for way too many people. Right. Uh and I just had to narrow that focus. And so, you know, five years ago, I was very much trying to be everything for everybody uh and not being really great at much of anything. And so um, success today looks like waking up and completing my morning routine and doing that, you know, before 7:30 or 8. Uh, it looks like making sure my kids know how much I love them. It looks like making sure my wife knows how much I love them. It looks like trying to keep the wheels on my practice as it's growing. Uh uh and well, a month ago I started wearing a whoop, so now and it tells me that my sleep is absolute crap. So now it's trying to get in bed on time, too. Yeah, that's and I like the business business success is gonna come as long as I'm calling people and I'm I'm doing the right things. And uh yeah, so I I think that I probably should keep better numbers with my business. I kind of just I I I've flown by the seat of my pants to a certain degree because I don't like the numbers focus that my whole industry has. Uh there's no meaning in that, there's no impact for the end user in that, uh, and it feels like a useless exercise. I don't really care how many people I called in a day. And I'm supposed to care about that. So uh I uh I feel like I'm rambling a little bit here. So success for me right now is just focusing on the things that are most important, and that is my kids, my wife, and my business.

SPEAKER_05 35:15

So I'll tell you something about the the idea of the numbers game, or we always want to quantify success. I mean, that's the big thing. They want to see metrics, and and I get that, you know, it it highlights growth and everything else, but there's actually a story in the Bible. So we're gonna go back to Sunday school real quick, you know, that David was gonna go count the nation of Israel. He wanted to see, like, how big is Israel? Let's go get a head count out there. And God's like, hey, don't do it, man. You know, and and David did it. And what that did is it created pride for him, and there was like a plague over Israel and everything else, and God required sacrifice from David and all this other stuff. You know, and it's so interesting that our society is so geared at quantifying success and proving success when in reality, if you're using biblical principles and values and things like that, success is not defined by any of that. You know, but that's countercultural. And so, you know, you people laugh you out of the room if you don't have metrics and all this other stuff, pretty much. And so, but I think there's something to be said about that, is because you can be focused on the egoism and the pride of something versus looking at the integrity of the foundation that you're building, and that's a completely different approach in the long run.

SPEAKER_00 36:16

Yeah. Yeah, not for nothing. Uh I am also working very diligently to make any of those make sure any of those people that would laugh me out of the room, make sure they're not in my circle to begin with.

SPEAKER_05 36:26

Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. If if you're if the people you surround yourself yourself with are not aligned with the values that matter to you, more than likely it will end up impacting your values in a negative way or creating additional weight in your life and in your routine that you're not sure where it's coming from.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

There's actually a study, and I'm not going to be able to quote it to you, but you can Google it, that a study that shows that if a skinny person hangs out around overweight people, they have a statistically very high possibility of becoming overweight themselves. And that's just as true mentally as it is physically. If you hang out around a bunch of people who are are constantly purposely underachieving, you're going to find yourself letting off the gas and purposely underachieving. So you've got to be, I'm not sure 100% by the idea that you are an amalgam of the five people you spend the most time around, but there is a lot of validity in that. Right. I think it rubs off on you. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 37:25

Well, the problem is influence is silent. Influence happens when you're not paying attention, influence happen or peer pressure, whatever you want to call it, happens, you know, when you assume nothing is going on. You know, and then over time, the slow incremental change, you become something or someone or accept things that you never would have in the past, but it happens so quietly that most people aren't aren't aware that it's even taking place.

SPEAKER_02 37:48

Yeah. That's it.

unknown 37:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Hopefully you just describe parenting for in my family.

SPEAKER_05 37:55

Well, uh, Gideon's not walking yet. I'm gonna I'm just walking all around him. I'm trying to get him to absorb that talent, that skill, that ability, you know. He's only two months old, so um I I think I'm probably just being a little bit impatient there.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Yeah, they they um uh as a father of three with a 10-month-old right now, uh those years begin to escape pretty fast. So just uh I'm sure everybody's telling you this, so I'm probably just one more, but just uh I you probably heard this, but you never you never know when it's gonna be the last time that you get to do something with your kid. Right. Uh and like it I that sort of hit me the night when I can't Call and Grayson, our two oldest boys, had gone and crawled into our bed, and that annoys me sometimes because when I go to crawl into my bed, I just want to crawl into my bed. I don't have to pick a kid up and carry him. Uh and so but I I picked Grayson up and like cherished that moment because I, you know, it was like, don't be don't be like that. Just love the moment, take him to bed. And then I went back and Callan had sat up and he was getting out of bed and walking in there, and I realized like I'm not gonna probably ever carry Callan to his bed again. Like I did that for a long time, and that's you know, he's big now, and and he sat up and walked his own butt to bed. I didn't know it was like, yeah, so just just um I don't know. They're parenting is hard, but it's incredibly rewarding. So I'm I'm excited to see you headed down that road.

SPEAKER_05 39:21

Well, uh Jonathan, uh, I want to see if you had any other comments, but other than that, I want to give Tim an opportunity to kind of uh give maybe websites links or how to get in contact with you if anyone's interested in any financial advising services or anything like that. Any comments from you, Josh? Yeah, I I'm not sure we can have a better guest, Joel.

SPEAKER_01 39:37

Uh that this has been more than I ever thought it would be. So this is fantastic.

SPEAKER_05 39:42

Uh Tim's good people, man. That's why that's why we've stayed in touch for so many years. You know, we try to we we've got we align on a lot of things that matter to us. Yeah. Um, well then Tim, if you don't mind, uh give us some information about like what's your website, how can people get in touch with you or with ITA Wealth Partners?

SPEAKER_00 39:58

Yeah, well, I didn't realize there'd be a plug here, so thanks.

SPEAKER_04 40:01

Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

Uh our webpage is ITAwealthpartners.com. Uh it's India Tango Alpha Wealth Partners. And uh, well, it stands for India Arena. You guys have heard the Teddy Roosevelt speech, uh, the credit goes to the man in the arena. And I've uh I've worn this necklace around my neck for a long time that says the credit goes to the man in the arena. And so when I was looking for both a name that meant something deeply impactful to me and that had a free web uh address, uh ITA Wealth Partners filled that whole bill. Uh so ITAwealthpartners.com is really you can email me from there, you can call me from there. Um, and thanks for the thanks for the plug.

SPEAKER_05 40:39

Sure. And we'll put some information in the show notes uh so that everybody can check that and reach out to you if they're interested in in your take on financial investments and values and how they align together. So uh Tim, thanks so much for being on with us today. Thanks for being here. Um thank you for being our first guinea pig, I mean guest, you know, it's been great.

SPEAKER_00 40:58

It's my honor. Thank you both, Joel and Jonathan. I appreciate it very much. It's it's been uh it's been a pleasure. So awesome.

SPEAKER_01 41:03

All right, Jonathan, anything else from you, my man? No, man, this has been wonderful. I can't wait for the next time.

SPEAKER_05 41:08

Okay. All right, guys. Thank y'all for joining us today, and we will catch you next time on the long burn. Bye.