Episode 13 - The Fear of Success: Identity Upgrade

he Identity Upgrade: Holding the Life You Are Building

Episode Overview

In this episode, Joel Malin, LPC/LMHC and Dr. Jonathan Wade dive into part two of their series on The Fear of Success. While entrepreneurs often default to working harder or doing more when facing obstacles, this conversation centers on a deeper reality: success requires an identity upgrade. The hosts discuss the importance of aligning your mindset, establishing characterological foundations, and recognizing personal limitations to successfully sustain the life and business you are building.

📈 Weekly Wins & Losses

Dr. Jonathan Wade

• The Win: Celebrating real estate momentum, noting that their new short-term rental property is highly successful and already 80% to 90% booked for the month of July.
• The Progress: Continuing to steadily build Orchard Health "one foot in front of the other" while balancing work and family routines now that the kids are out of school for the summer.

Joel Malin

• The Win: Enjoying quality time off to handle childcare for his three-month-old son, Gideon. Joel shared the joy of seeing his son hitting milestones like laughing and sleeping longer during the day.
• The Loss / Challenge: Navigating career movement and intentionally searching for ways to introduce more simplicity and peace into his family's routine. Joel's goal is to find options that will reduce stress and allow his wife to focus more on being a stay-at-home mom.

🧠 Core Themes & Key Takeaways

1. Who You Are vs. What You Do

When entrepreneurs hit barriers, the immediate instinct is often to grind harder, wake up earlier, or increase the workload. Jonathan challenges this mentality by explaining that sustainable success isn't about what you are doing—it is about who you are. True growth occurs when you shift from an external goal orientation ("I want to work out more") to an internal identity statement ("I am a person who values my health").

2. Anchoring Progress in an Honest "Why"

Jonathan shares a clinical story of a patient who lost 25 pounds simply by cutting out empty calories and going to the gym daily—advice that had sat in his medical chart for three years. Joel points out that information alone isn't enough; sustainable progress requires finding a powerful, personal motivator or a better "why" (such as family or specific legacy goals) to bridge the gap between knowing what to do and actually becoming the person who does it.

3. Setting Realistic Frameworks Within Your Constraints

While big goals are valuable, Joel cautions that goals must remain anchored to a realistic framework that accounts for your actual environment, physical limitations, and family dynamic. Setting a foundation for success is rarely glamorous or heavily recognized behind the scenes; it requires falling in love with the nitty-gritty process and crawling before you walk. Jonathan reflects on how managing Orchard Health's 1,700 patients across multiple providers and staff would have completely overwhelmed his 2018 self, but incremental identity shifts made it possible to sustain over time.

4. Success as a Characterological Foundation

Joel emphasizes that lasting success is fundamentally characterological. While it is possible to "con" your way into temporary achievement, a life built on a weak foundation will ultimately crumble under intense pressure.

• The Pressure Test: Borrowing a classic analogy, Joel notes that when you squeeze an orange, you get orange juice. The true test of whether you can sustain success is what naturally leaks out of your character when push comes to shove and you are at your lowest or most pressured moments.
• Inviting Feedback: Building this foundation requires identifying internal insecurities and character flaws. The best way to find those blind spots is by intentionally seeking out honest feedback from the people who know us best, even when it is the feedback we least want to hear.

🎯 Mindset Anchors & Quotes

🛑 The Earned Success Mentality "You've got to believe that you're a person... and it's not of, 'I deserve success.' No, we don't deserve anything. It's an earning thing. Have you done the foundational work? Earning something is a slow drag... it's a long burn." — Joel Malin

• On Identity Expansion: "It's your identity that you have to become... to be that person who can do the things and be in the rooms and accomplish the things that you set out to do." — Dr. Jonathan Wade
• On Sustainable Character: "You don't need to think about the best version of you that can sustain success. You need to think about the worst version of you that can sustain success. And in those worst moments, is that person... capable of sustaining success?" — Joel Malin
• On Integrity: "People that keep promises have integrity... saying what you mean and meaning what you say and sticking to it... is really the foundation of that identity change." — Dr. Jonathan Wade

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:07

Hello again. This is Joel Mallon with the Longburn Podcast, co-hosted by Dr. Jonathan Wade. Hello, Jonathan. Hey Joel, how are you today? Oh, we are surviving in Florida. Things are nice and sunny here. The grass is growing. Um, we we it's been super dry here, and it's crazy because we finally got rain. And I mean the grass, like usually I can at least stretch it two weeks to mow. No, it's like a week now. And oh yeah. I'm not saying I hate mowing. It just doesn't, it's just the same thing over and over and over again. It's like you've mowed, it's like that looks great. All right, I guess I'll be ready to do it again next week, you know. That's right. Uh it's just like constant things. So um it definitely looks nice when it's done, though. Makes you appreciate your yard and you realize why you're paying your mortgage, I guess. That's right. It's very satisfying.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

Uh about the same. Cutting grass left and right. It is, it's growing. The the regular grass is growing like weeds. Um we're in the throngs of summer and kids out of school. It's the thongs of summer. The thongs of summer, yes. Yeah. That's right. Kids are out of school, so we're we're trying to balance.

SPEAKER_00 1:11

Well, we talked about thongs, you went straight to kids. What in the world is going on? What is going on?

SPEAKER_02 1:16

Kid kids these days. I tell you. Kids these days. So but it's life is life, and and we're we're taking it one day at a time, and and business is business.

SPEAKER_00 1:29

I gotcha.

SPEAKER_02 1:30

All right.

SPEAKER_00 1:31

Any any specific wins or losses this week?

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Uh we continue to to build here at Orchard Health, um, kind of putting one foot in front of the other. Um, we uh from a from a real estate side of things, Candace and I have been very blessed that the new property is taken off. We're about 80 to 90 percent booked for the month of July. So that's super exciting. Um, and so you know, it's uh we we're just trying to do good things across the board and hopefully good things will happen. Nice. What about yourself?

SPEAKER_00 2:02

Uh let's see, wins over here. Uh, so have had some time off this week, um, which was used doing childcare. Our our nanny had some uh child care appointments that she had to take her child to. So um I got to spend some quality time with Gideon, and that was good. Little boy is laughing, he's sleeping longer during the day, so he's a lot more happy and fun to be around. So that's great. Um, another win. You know, we've got America's 250th this weekend. America, man, I'm telling you. I hope I blow all my fingers off this weekend. I still got toes. Let's say this for next year. But um, no, just good stuff on those fronts. Um, as far as losses, just just uh trying to look at uh career movement, looking at trying to make some changes, wanting our life to be more simple and trying to figure out how do we introduce more peace into our routine. Um and what that entails is is hopefully finding a way to allow my wife to focus more on being a mom, being able to stay at home and not being stressed out by a lot of the other stuff that kind of makes that more difficult for her. So we're just looking at some options that'll what'll make that work and we'll see what pans out in the long run. Um but overall, um happy to be alive, definitely still grateful for um home, progress, life, all this other stuff. And that's the stuff that matters the most, not the details of how we want it done. That's right. Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

Good deal. Deal, good deal. All right, so so today is our part two, right? That's right. Part two from the fear of success. And so today we're we're gonna title this one the the identity upgrade, becoming someone who can hold the life you're building, right? So so last time we talked about, you know, sort sort of the the barriers and the self-sabotage, and now we're gonna talk about how how do we overcome this. And you know, I I think I think it's a little maybe potentially counterintuitive to to entrepreneurs and folks out there because all too often we face problems and we just think, let's work harder, let's just do more, let's get up earlier. And and a lot of times it's not that. It's it's not what you're doing, it's who you are. It's it's it's the person yourself, it's your identity that you have to to become that person who can do the things and be in the rooms and and and accomplish the things that you set out to do. Um, and so I think that's that's the big big mover for today is is talking about who is that person and how do we become that that person. And so I think I think this will be very, very helpful. I think it'll be helpful to myself, uh, though I'm I'm I'm aware of a lot of these things. I I still think in in several aspects of of life and career, I struggle with them. Um, and so this will be maybe uh self-soothing uh as well at the same time as as beneficial for for our folks that are listening.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

So Well then let me start let me start by asking you a question is do you believe that that person that identity upgrade that you of who you want to become, do you believe that's attainable for everyone?

SPEAKER_02 5:16

Yes, absolutely. Now we all can't have uh crazy goals to set, but I think that within within our lives, within our careers, um you know, we we can put our mind to things and and change that mindset um to make things happen. You know, and and granted it's not an easy process, it's not an easy road, um, but nothing worth having in life, it comes easy. Um and and I think that it's it's one of those things that is simple as you know, not being, hey, uh hey, I want to work out more, but I am a person who values my health and exercises because of it. You know, it's it's not a I want to, it's an I it's I am statements. Have you worked out since the last podcast? Actually, yes. Okay. We got it was very minimal and it was with the children. It was with your age, it needs to be. So it was it was some boxing thing on the wall that lights up, but it's almost like whack-a-mole for a ball punching. So hey, I I did that. It plays music through the phone. So it was I didn't break a sweat, but sure, it was exercise more so than I would have done otherwise. So yes, you know, okay, fair enough. Fair enough. I'm still working on the I am some, you know, someone who who who exercises and and whatnot.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

But so we're doing loose definitions on these topics.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Hey, hey, it it is small steps, right? It's big steps. You know, if it bulls to whack. Yeah, if if I go in there and start doing deadlifts and try to try to get a one rep max on a bench, I will be able to move for three weeks, you know, and I can go back. Yeah, right. Then I won't go back and do it. So, you know, I I I I I think that that the discipline side of things is the biggest key. I I I think here's a quick story right off the bat. It was a patient I saw in the last week, and it was so funny because he had come in and in this calendar year since January, he'd lost like 25 pounds. Nice. I said, Dude, how have you done that? He said, Well, I I quit drinking beer and I started going to the gym every day. And I said, That's funny because for like the past three years, in your notes, here it is where it says, You know what you need to do. You know you need to exercise, and you know you need to cut down on empty calories. I said, So you finally did uh the things that you said you needed that you knew you needed to do. He became that healthier version of himself through small disciplined steps, and then lo and behold, he he feels better. Um, you know, and and so I I think that that's that that identity gap that he was suffering from, saying, I know, I know what I need to do, I know what I should do, but I just don't do it. And then he became that person that did it. Right.

SPEAKER_00 8:05

You know, and he had to change the motivation. He had to figure out what his motivator was. Somewhere along the way, he had to have found something that gave him a better why to make that change. Oh, right. Could be family, could be specific goals or something like that. But I mean, you'll never actually attempt to make progress in something unless you know what you're trying to accomplish through it.

SPEAKER_02 8:24

Sure. Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 8:25

Life life as is has to get challenging enough to make you. Why do you think everyone on these dating shows is sexy? Because they're trying to catch somebody. And then a lot of people, once they get a spouse or a partner, they're just like, all right, we're good now, you know, and they just let it all fall off, you know. Uh so I want to counter like you say that everyone is able to attain that life, that identity upgrade or the life that they want to have. And so I don't know that if that's entirely true, because first of all, like, are your goals realistic? You know? Um, so let's say you wanted to grow orchard health, like you're located in Nashville, Georgia, you want to grow orchard health to 50,000 patients.

unknown 9:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Is that realistic?

SPEAKER_02 9:04

I absolutely think so.

SPEAKER_00 9:06

There there are other direct primary care practices out there that have that kind of outreach, but not in Nashville, Georgia. I don't think there's 50,000 people that live in Nashville, Georgia.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Orchard health itself, not here locally.

SPEAKER_00 9:19

This is exactly. But that's what I'm saying is there's got to be a redefining moment. You know, there's got to be a like, it can't say, oh, I want to stay here and make this what I want it to be. Well, at that location, it'll never be that, you know? And so this idea, just think about like, let's say that your dream when you're a kid, you're growing up, you're like, mommy, I want to be a pilot, you know, you want to fly airplanes or something like that. Well, if your eyes suck, guess what? You're probably not gonna be a pilot, you know, like they're not gonna let you pass, the FAA is not gonna pass you on any of those like eye exams and stuff like that. And and I don't know enough to, I'm sure there's probably workarounds, contact classes, whatever, but there's certain physical criteria, you know, that that like if someone has a disability, like if you've you know don't have legs, you're probably not gonna be a police officer or a beat cop or something like that, because you know, you you don't have the ability to actually chase down criminals. And so the the question is, are you being realistic with your limitations? And so sure, um, so and that could be a lot of different things. That could be, okay, maybe you individually are willing to sacrifice, take a pay cut, make something happen, work crazy hours. Okay, but if you're bringing your family along with you, is that still realistic?

unknown 10:33

Sure.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

And yeah, no, no, I I think the framework has to be right realistic with within within the realm of things that you can accomplish.

SPEAKER_00 10:42

Again, I I don't think a lot of people are realistic about the framework. They see someone succeed online or on some show on TV and they're like, Oh, I'm gonna do that. Like, how many kids after what's the dude that got that supposedly beat Mike Tyson? What's his name?

SPEAKER_02 10:56

Uh one of the Paul Paul brothers, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:58

There we go. Yeah. And so, like after that kid, after the other brother like got famous on YouTube, all these kids wanted to be YouTubers. Right. I'm just like, you don't have anybody, anything that anybody else wants to hear about. Like your life's not that interesting. You don't have any hobbies, but you want to be famous. I'm like, for what? Right. Like you in that context, you can't achieve that. I guess that's my point, if that makes any sense. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 11:22

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and and I f I fully feel that it's gotta be within within the realm of of your operator entrepreneurial journey, your your family journey, your your development from a health perspective or or a financial perspective, um uh as a way to set goals, you know, and and I and I truly believe that that when you do that, and and again, there's not necessarily anything wrong with setting high goals, right? There's uh Dan Martell talks about setting a 10-year goal, but then trying to figure out how to do it in 90 days, you know, which is crazy. But but if if we're if we confine ourselves to some constraints, like we will figure out a way to at least get somewhere, you know.

SPEAKER_00 12:04

Um But that's not the pretty part. That's not the fun part. Setting the foundation to leverage you to success is not glamorous, it's not fun. You don't get recognition or notoriety for that. It's the grind, it's the stuff behind the scenes, and nobody wants to do it.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

No, no, no, no, right. They want the overnight success. And I think that's yep, that's why we're here. We're we're here to talk about the nitty-gritty. We're here to talk about it's it's important to fall in love with that process and and fall in love with with that that that journey in the I that identity change so that that the outcomes come. I mean, here's the thing. So with Orchard Health, we're we're still just shy of 1,700 patients. We're eight and a half years into this. Could could Jonathan in 2018 fathom managing 1700 patients under with two nurse practitioners, an office staff of four? No. Truly overwhelming. But but over that time period, I have had an identity change. I have had to to elevate myself, improve myself from a business standpoint, a doctor standpoint, a leader standpoint, to be able to be where I'm ready to add 500 more patients at this point. You know, is it gonna would it be challenging? Absolutely, but I know that I can it's gonna be easier for me to try to 10x than it would be to try to just 2x. Like so I'm going to shoot for those things. I'm going to remind myself of where I've been. Connecting the dots backwards is so much easier and fulfilling than trying to go, I don't know how I'm going to reach that milestone. I don't know how I'm going to get that net worth. I don't know how you know I'm going to build that business. And and so that framework goes back to the self-sabotage, right? You know, it it just looks overwhelming. And so we don't start rather than crawling before we walk, walking before we run, so on and so forth. Um so so I yeah, right. I'm I'm not gonna be an astronaut, Joel. But good, right, right, yeah. Dirty astronauts. That's right, I gotta keep my feet on the ground. But but but within within the spectrum of myself as a as a physician, a a practice owner, a real estate investor, a father, a husband, and just an all-around dude, like I can set meaningful goals for myself, believe and have faith that I can become those things and and lean into manifestation. I think if we if we tell ourselves that we can achieve things, if we identify ourselves as the person we want to be, that is certainly the first step in all this and and and works towards daily affirmations and and avoiding the slumps, avoiding the the pitfalls um that come along with that journey that nobody wants to talk about.

SPEAKER_00 15:11

Right. I think a lot of it is um becoming aware of your insecurities. Um, like what are the limiting factors, you know, that are preventing you from feeling the way you want to feel, getting to where you want to be, stuff like that. And I had a very um very good interaction with a client uh somewhat recently, and um I had asked, I had asked him, I said, Hey, are you proud to bear your last name? You know, obviously I'm not gonna say that uh on here, but um I asked him that and immediately he started to get emotional. And um, and I was like, Whoa, I didn't I didn't know it was gonna go this direction. You know, I was like, what are we getting emotional about? And and so um, you know, gave him some space for a little bit and eventually asked him, I said, hey, you know, what happened there? That that clicked something or that hit a nerve for you. Tell me what's going on there. And so what he was essentially doing was comparing his adult accomplishments to what he observed in his father's adult accomplishments, and he didn't know if he essentially had permission to be proud to bear that last name. And and I uh, you know, got a chance to kind of process that with him and everything else. And what I suggested to him is I was like, hey, have you ever thought about like, you know, talking to your dad about how you feel, you know? Because I would imagine that he feels dramatically different to uh than you do about you know your representation of the family's name, legacy, whatever you want to say. And he actually did it, and and I was really surprised and impressed. A lot of times I'll suggest something and patients forget about it or don't want to do it, whatever, and I can't make them, obviously. Even though I should. I don't know what um, yeah, I don't know. Uh so anyway, but he called his dad, he said it was like a two-hour conversation. Um, and instead of his dad being all like, um, oh, I'm supportive of you and I love you and everything else, he was like, Boy, you're crazy as hell. Like, what are you talking about? You know, and so and he went, he was the guy started laughing, talking about it because apparently it's very on brand for who his dad was. But his dad was able to correct, you know, a perspective that he had or an insecurity that he had about himself. Um, and so sometimes getting that external validation is necessary to correct the image of not deserving the success. And we we touched on some of that last time, is that you've got to believe that you're a person, and it's not of I deserve success, you know. No, we don't deserve anything, you know. Right. Um, it's an earning thing. Like, have you done the foundational work? Yes. Am I capable? Have I constructed my life, my interactions, my relationships in a way that I can attain or achieve this? You know, because if you look at it as a deserved or an owed thing, you're absolutely going to fall in your face. And I think that's some of the problem with some of the younger generation is that that is the message they've heard for so long, instead of, you know, recognizing that earning something is a slow drag. Earning something is, you know, being in the trenches. It's a long burn, you know, it's not something that happens overnight. And so changing that mentality to are you earning the success that, or have you earned the success that you want to have, um, you've got to be able to answer that honestly and not arrogantly, honestly, you know, where you still recognize your flaws and deficiencies. You know, I think it is good for you to know your worth, your value, your capabilities and stuff like that. But it also is necessary for you to recognize, you know, I've not done the work in like I don't have a six-pack right now. You want to know why? I've not spent 30 minutes a day or an hour a day doing abs for the past year. I mean, with and I've not changed my diet that much. So could I do that? Absolutely. But at this point, that doesn't really benefit me. Sure. You know, like I said, I'm I'm married now and I can be fat and happy. Right. That's that dad bot now.

SPEAKER_02 18:54

So that's what you can leave. I'm working on it.

SPEAKER_00 18:56

That's right. I'm working on it. I'm I'm doing the inverse of your other patient. Drink drink more beer and stay more sedentary. You're making up for his. Yeah, there you go. That's right. That's right. We just swap rolls. He found my motivation.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

I love that. No, I and I and I completely agree with that. I think in my journey, and I think in a lot of of entrepreneurial journeys, we don't take the time to celebrate the wins. And that sounds like what you're talking about with with your patient. He he never celebrated the wins, so he always was tough on himself and never felt like he was enough. It took his dad to kind of like, dude, like I'm proud of you. Yeah, you know, and I find myself in that, and and I'll talk to my parents or whatnot or other people about things, and they're like, wow, that's that's really cool. And I've never stopped to smell the roses to be like, Yeah, crap. That is cool. Oh, you're right. You know, um, and and so I I think that's some some self love, self, self-appreciation that that we have to give ourselves at times in this journey, because like you said, it's it's dirty, it's murky, it's not fun, it's it's all over the place. So when we do conquer the even that smallest hill, hey, let's let's let's celebrate this for a hot minute, and then we'll get back to work at the next hill.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Right. Well, it's like I had a friend that I had built some furniture for in the past, and he's getting ready to sell his, I think it's a townhouse, and he's getting ready to list it and everything else. And um, he just messaged me out of the blue and was like, dude, the furniture you've built like made the listing go so good. It looks so amazing in there. He's like, I don't wouldn't never sell this stuff no matter what people offered me. And to me, it's like I'm just building furniture, you know. But to somebody else, uh, like that represents something to them. You know, like for a couple who's able to get their first home, probably nobody else is impressed with it, to be completely honest. But to them, that is a milestone. That is their first home, it's a big deal. Um, I remember whenever Christy had her first place, and this was when we were dating before we even married, and and that house represented a lot for her. And it was hard for me to see that in the same way that she did or feel the same way about it, because that didn't represent the same thing to me. And, you know, she kind of explained how many different milestones she accomplished there of living independently in a new city and and being able to afford on a her own salary, a place for her to live, and she had her dog and all this other stuff. And so to her, that was what success looked like. And it was hard for me to understand that because to me it was just a place, you know, and so the sentimentality that we uh we assign to these different milestones, it matters. You know, it creates more weight to the accomplishment instead of something that somebody else could easily gloss over. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

Well, and and I I think you you hit on it right with Christy. It was the it was the culmination of small victories that had led to that moment. And and again, that's the small steps. It's the mundane, the boring, the everyday things of showing up. And and I like to think about it is keeping promises. To yourself. Right? It's accountability to yourself. But then also when you do this, people that keep promises have integrity. And I and I I think that's important for anybody. But I certainly think for for a husband and a dad and a and a leader of a business, of a family, to say what you mean and mean what you say and stick to it and and and have that integrity and accountability is really the foundation of that identity change because all of that is it's daily. It's every day when you wake up that you're gonna do what you say and you're you're gonna hold yourself. You may not I I don't there's a lot of days I don't feel like coming to work early and putting in the time to work on the business and on my future, but I do it. I don't want to do it, but I do it.

SPEAKER_00 22:50

Well, uh to some extent, what you're saying that success is characterological, that if you're not a person of your word or man of your word, here's the thing, you can con your way into success. Absolutely. There's plenty of people who have done it. Um, but it will crumble because that foundational work was bypassed. You know, if you use the analogy in the Bible, talking about the house built on the rocks versus the house built on the sand, you know, your character and the foundation of your success matters because that stuff will crumble out from underneath you in a very short amount of time or when a lot of a pressure is applied. But your character is the thing that that shines through whenever that pressure comes through. You know, it's the the dumb people probably heard before you squeeze grapes under pressure and you're gonna get grape juice. You squeeze oranges, you're gonna get orange juice. And so that's that's the true test of that character to figure out whether you can sustain success or not, is what has happened to you when you, when push comes to shove, when you are at the most pressured moments in your life, what is the character that comes through? Because that is, you don't need to think about the best version of you that can sustain success. You need to think about the worst version of you that can sustain success. And in those worst moments, is that person, even in your worst moment, is that person capable of sustaining success? That's the big question.

unknown 24:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:10

And I think that should be the goal, right? You you want to be that person that even it's on your lowest day can sustain and and achieve things that you've put your mind to.

SPEAKER_00 24:19

But the problem with that is people, a lot of people don't recognize that that might have started 20 years ago, 30 years ago, 40 years ago, of building that that characterological foundation or or that that house that's built on a rock, whatever you want to refer to it as, that's the thing that that perseveres over time. And if that's bypassed in earlier years, you may have to do some some backup work. You may have to identify what those flaws in character are. And I'll tell you, the birth, the best person to identify flaws in character is not me. It's literally anybody else.

unknown 24:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 24:54

Because anybody else who spends any amount of time with me knows what my flaws are. They know what some of my pressure points are, they know how I respond uh whenever I'm in a bad mood or when something doesn't go my way. And those are the people that we need feedback from. And they're also the people we least want to get feedback from. We like to believe I've got this. You know?

SPEAKER_02 25:16

Yeah, yeah. Well, and I I think it's that feedback, and then what you do with that is where the growth comes, right? That's kind of what we talked about last time when you get 90% uh there to accomplish something and and then you self-sabotage, or you just say, I'm not capable of doing it, and maybe you listen, listen to negative negative voices, negative input, and and then you back down versus taking that as a constructive criticism to build yourself up to that level up person, that new identity to to achieve those things.

SPEAKER_00 25:50

Well, and I'm glad you brought up 90% again because you said that your uh that one of your rental places had 90% booked for this month. And so, I mean, I'm just like, dude, you you need to practice what you preach. That extra 10%, you gotta close the deal, Jonathan. Like, pick it up, man.

SPEAKER_02 26:03

I I'm working on it. I'm trying to set some deals and and and and fill in some gaps here and there. So we're we're we're trying to get to 100%. Now that creates some problems.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

You gotta put some coupons online. I mean, people love coupons. Absolutely. Yeah, coupon codes. No, do you re hold on, do you I'm gonna I'm gonna park on coupons for a second. Do you remember? Like, did your mom ever have a book? Like my mom had a book. It was like a three-ring binder with all the like little document protectors in there. And she would have the the coupons sorted by expiration date, what store they were for, what the product was, all this. Did your mom do that?

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Oh, yeah, she had some little zipper pocket thing. But I remember that was what we did on like Saturday and Sunday mornings. The paper got there and we had to go through and cut out coupons and what we're gonna use that week and what we might use down the road. And oh yeah, that coupon was the thing. And then you stood there at the at the at the register and checked out, and it was like uh you know, the the cashier had to scan like 50 different coupons and you just watched the the receipt build up with all the subtraction. Yeah, oh day, it was crazy. Well, that's how you know you're poor.

SPEAKER_00 27:12

Frugal. Frugal. Hey, you're like, man, like why are we collecting these scraps of paper so we can eat dinner? Like, what is this? Right.

SPEAKER_02 27:18

That's right. Oh uh, you know, but uh hey, uh just like you said, like that's something that that today's kids and and young adults have missed out on. Right, right. And so so they uh yeah, you we saw that. We helped out with the struggle, we helped out with with with with with helping save money for the family in in that way. That was our contribution. I mean, hell, I was seven. I couldn't have a job, but I could sit there and be like, hey, I I want some you know, kicks here. Remember that kicks? Kicks, gross. Yeah, kicks was gross. Their mother approved, though.

SPEAKER_00 27:53

So but Captain Crunch, man, that's where it's at. You go to the hospital after breakfast.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

I was not allowed to touch sugary cereal. We didn't do that. So but I went to friends' houses though, we had cookie crisps, so that was good. They probably sent you right home. Like this kid. Oh my god. What a sugar rush. But so no, I I agree. But I but so uh kids these days, right, they think that overnight success is what they want.

SPEAKER_00 28:18

Right.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

But but it's that process right, it's that process, that slow build, that identity growth day in, day out, month by month, so that when you reach that pinnacle, when you have that success, you are the person that can manage it, right? So, so so the overnight lottery winner that wins $50 million blows it in two weeks because they're not prepared to handle that level of wealth.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

But I think the counter to that is, you know, the opposite of that would be well, embrace the suck. And I understand that mentality. I was in the army, you know, that was what they teach you and stuff like that. But hopefully you can construct your progress in success in such a way that it doesn't just suck the whole time. Because, like, if you're parked on on an idea or a goal just waiting for the outcome, you're missing so much along the way, you know. And so if you're if your path to success literally just sucks the whole time, you're possibly doing it in in too rushed of a way or a way without a good solid foundation, or there's just a lot of different ways you could be doing it wrong if you're not able to enjoy the process. Sure.

SPEAKER_02 29:27

Well, okay, fall fall in love with the process, not the product. But then also I think that that goes back to this the small victories, right? Along along the suck, you make small accomplishments, celebrate that. That makes it suck less. And I think then it fortifies you to keep trucking on and deal with with the next suck and the next task and then the next growth spot. So, no, you're exactly right. I mean, we we have to fall in love with that process and not just what we see on social media, see on TV, the glitz, the glamour, the cars, the whatever. We have to be willing to put in that sweat equity to get there and enjoy it along the way.

SPEAKER_00 30:05

And going back to what I was saying about external feedback is having a you know trusted people that you can just go to them and honestly just say, hey, Jonathan, what am I doing wrong? Like what what from your perspective, what am I missing? And we don't like that because we don't like criticism. We like, you know, constant flattery for success or someone validating our pathway. But the only way to actually continue to stay on a good path is getting external feedback and input. You know, if you're in the middle of a storm, you don't know whether it's about to pass or not. But the person who's, you know, a couple miles away, they can see that, oh, well, no, it's just about to end. You know, it feels like it's gonna go forever. But asking for that external input, somebody else can give you that feedback and say, well, hey, are you sure that you're taking care of your family while you're doing this? Are you sure that you're taking care of your yourself or your health while you're doing this? Because otherwise, embracing the suck, like, I mean, the human mind and the human body can endure absolutely immeasurable amounts of pain and suffering and trauma and hardship and stuff like that. And so that's great if you can embrace the suck, good for you, you know. But possibly by giving someone else permission to have that feedback into your life, maybe it doesn't have to be that bad. Maybe there's a different way of going about it. Maybe someone else has a different perspective.

SPEAKER_02 31:27

Well, it's it's very much a a who not how type thing, right? So when whenever we start any kind of venture in life, any sort of new new thing, we we look at how. How are we gonna get there? How are we gonna face roadblocks? How are we gonna accomplish things? Uh, versus when you get further along that journey, it's more of a who thing. Who who already knows how to do this? Who can I get around to elevate myself who can teach me what I need to know? Versus I'm gonna sit here and and uh spin my wheels for three months trying to figure it out myself when I can get in a room and figure that out in three hours. I mean, you know, I I think a great example of that is when when we started uh back in in 2024 uh down this real estate venture, we joined the BB Academy as a way to kind of fast track that. So I got in rooms and on Zoom calls around people that were you know buying properties and evaluating deals, and and within six months we felt confident enough to do that, and and it has since taken off. But you know, I think with without that education, without that mentorship and and and mastermind type situation, that six-month process would have taken hell who knows, 12 months, 18 months, maybe never. Maybe I would have never had, I would have overthought it and and and you know, sat there and spun my wheels and never never decided to make a decision. Um and I I think regardless of what it is in life, when we make a decision to do something, we learn so much from that.

SPEAKER_00 33:03

So part of the going back to the foundation idea with the relationships for people who can give you that feedbook, though feedbook. I've read that one. They wrote feedback. Yeah, that feedback is you have to maintain those relationships. Like, so let's say you know someone who gives great suggestions or input, but you hadn't talked to them in a year, five years, or something like that. You know, the chances of them giving you accurate feedback of where you're at, that's pretty slim, you know. Like you know, uh the uh dumb analogy, the campsite that I grew up at, you know, on Kentucky Lake, I have no idea what it looks like today. I haven't been there in like eight years, you know? And so I I can't tell you what the condition of it is. And the same thing is true about relationships. If you're wanting that accurate feedback from people, then you've got to stay in community with them. And so um, so I will say, you know, since we're talking about an identity upgrade, we do encourage that. But I will say for anybody, if you do have you know multiple identities in your head, I do encourage you to speak to a mental health professional. Um remember the the goal is integration uh of the personalities and and the identities. So um, you know, don't don't don't stay sick out there, you know, even if you do have an identity that's a you know a multi-level marketer, it's not a pyramid scheme, right? Right, Jonathan? That's that's right. No, no, no. We don't have to be able to do that. I just get one friend and then three more friends. Yeah, that's right. Yeah. And then I'll be rich. That's right. So that's right. I will never forget that one on the office where it's like, no, I get some people and then they get some more people. Yeah, it's a pyramid scheme. No, it's not. Yeah, it's a pyramid, yeah. Literally shaped like a pyramid. That's right. Well, any other um any other final topics, points, or anything like that along this?

SPEAKER_02 34:38

Well, I think we didn't well, I think in closing, you know, here's the thing. I I think a lot of times we we don't know where to start, we're afraid to start, uh we we think we're behind. But here's the thing. I'm I I'm not really trying to uh toot our own horn here, but but if you're listening to this, you've already started that upgrade. You're you're you're finding resources, you're learning, you're you're you're educating yourself, you're feeding that that I am person right now. So I I I think use this as that spark, use this as that that motivation to to push you along that journey. Um and and like I said, that that's that's what we want to be here for. And so don't discredit the fact that you sat here for 30 plus minutes and listened to this because that's an investment in yourself. And that's really, really important to appreciate, I think.

SPEAKER_00 35:37

And if you're sitting listening to this, man, get up and do something. Hey, that's right. Get on a treadmill or punching bones, a boxing light. Whack a mole, Jonathan's whack-a-mole. You're gonna have child muscles and so uh just take a little bit of amount of time. You're gonna have child muscles, it's gonna be so great. It's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_02 35:54

My reaction time is great, though.

SPEAKER_00 35:56

Whack moles and push quarters in a machine. Yeah, absolutely. Your thumb's gonna be so callused from all those quarters. Oh man. All right. Um, well, that is it. So um obviously, this is not an exhaustive uh coverage of this topic or anything like that, but just do keep in mind that if you want to be someone who has earned the ability to succeed, you got to start early. And there's nothing wrong with taking a very hard look at yourself in a moral inventory and saying, what do I need to correct before um before I can actually be that person? You know, don't be unrealistic, be willing to change yourself because if you're not willing to change the self that you are now, more than likely that person is not going to be able to sustain the progress that dramatically changes your circumstances. Um and so I think um don't we have a guest next week, Jonathan?

SPEAKER_02 36:49

Yes, yes, we have another guest next week, uh Roderick Smith from from here in Nashville, um, uh a good buddy of of mine, and and someone that when you were here in town, you you worked with on on several different ventures and great guy, great community leader, and and uh can't wait to kind of pick his brain and and hear his story.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

And and he's uh he's all about the butts. Yes, barbecue king. That's right. Pork butts, pork butts, yeah. Get your mind.

SPEAKER_02 37:15

He smells up all of downtown. Wednesday, Thursday, Friday. It is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

Smoke, sweet, sweet smoke. That's right. So, and and after uh after Rod comes on for our guests next week, uh, we're gonna go into a topic uh looking at how do you identify barriers versus challenges. That's gonna be something on the horizon as well. So uh keep staying tuned uh too long, burn. We've got some more good stuff, we've got some more guests. I think uh you still got a couple more people lined up after Rod as well. And so we want to get more feedback from other people. So if you're a listener to the podcast and um you're interested in chiming in and giving us your two cents, because that's literally all we're doing is giving our two cents. So um if we combine another person, man, we got six cents. Man, we are halfway there to something. And that's an old movie at this point, six cents. Oh man. So all right, we all have a fantastic weekend. Uh working on that foundation, pursue success, uh, live a good life, and we will talk to you next Thursday. Bye, Jonathan. Bye, y'all. Bye.