Episode 17 : A Peek Inside My Mind: The Story I’m Rewriting

🎙️ Episode 17: A Peek Inside My Mind: The Story I’m Rewriting

Welcome to Episode 17 of The Less Stress, More Magic Podcast ✨
 I’m your host, Erin Wallen, and I’m so glad you’re here.

This podcast is for capable, caring women who are doing all the “right” things—yet still feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or stuck in stress. If you’ve ever tried to “think more positively” or reframe your mindset and wondered why it didn’t stick, this episode is for you.

In This Episode

This week, I’m sharing a very real and vulnerable look into my own healing journey and the hidden nervous system story I recently uncovered that has quietly been driving parts of my behavior for years. We talk about subconscious beliefs, achievement patterns, nervous system safety, and what it actually looks like to rewrite old stories with compassion instead of shame.

We’ll talk about:

•  Why 95% of our stories and patterns live beneath conscious awareness 
•  How nervous system safety helps hidden beliefs rise to the surface 
•  The subconscious connection between discomfort, achievement, and overworking 
•  Why slowing down and looking inward can initially feel uncomfortable 
•  The difference between logically knowing something and truly feeling safe in it 
•  How awareness creates the opportunity to rewrite old patterns and choose differently 

Why This Matters

So many high-achieving women unknowingly tie their freedom, worth, rest, or happiness to productivity and results. But often, these patterns were created long ago and continue running quietly beneath the surface. In this episode, I share how increasing nervous system safety allows us to finally see these hidden stories—not to judge ourselves, but to create more intentionality, ease, and alignment in how we live.

✨ This is exactly the deeper work we do inside my signature program, Power of Ease—helping women regulate their nervous system, uncover hidden stress patterns, and create more success, clarity, joy, and alignment without living in constant pressure and overdrive.

If you’re ready to go deeper into this work, you can learn more here:
 https://erinwallencoaching.myflodesk.com/powerofeaseprogram

Reflection / Journal Prompts

Take a moment to reflect or journal:

•  What is one story or belief that may quietly be driving my behavior? 
•  When I feel discomfort, where does my mind automatically go? 
•  What might open up for me if I met myself with more compassion instead of pressure? 

✨ Free Resource
 Support your nervous system with my Daily Ease Reset Checklist—a simple, grounding tool to help you shift out of stress and back into calm throughout your day.
 👉 https://erinwallencoaching.myflodesk.com/dailyeasechecklist

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📱 Connect with me on Instagram for more support and behind-the-scenes:
 👉 https://www.instagram.com/joybyerin/

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

We always have these stories that are running our lives, and 95% of our stories we're not even consciously aware of. And what's interesting is as we increase the safety in our life, we start to see more of these stories. And we need to see them in order to clear them up. So when we don't incorporate the nervous system, a lot of times we are like doing that band-aid approach of like healing the stories we can see, but so many live underneath the surface and are actually driving our behavior. So when we get into the nervous system, we get to see more and we have the opportunity to heal more and really have more intentional intentionality over our life. Welcome to the Less Stress, More Magic Podcast. I'm your host, Aaron Wallen, stress freedom coach, intuitive strategist, and former clinical pharmacist. This show is for busy, capable women with big goals who are ready to stop living with so much stress and are ready for a more ease-based, effective way of living and working. Here, we explore how stress is a survival response, not a success strategy, and how regulating your nervous system leads to more clarity, better decisions, and everyday magic. I can't wait to share with you. Let's dive in. Hi, and welcome back to the Less Stress, More Magic Podcast. This is episode 17, and this is your host, Erin Wallen. And today I'm gonna give you a little peek about what's going on inside my mind. Um, as I'm just starting to record to you, I'm looking around. I just had my office redone. So you can get a little peek of it. I have some really cute sconces on the wall, and I share that because as we up level in one area, it tends to kind of show us what is ready to clear in other areas. There's always this balance of kind of growing and expanding and what we are ready to release and let go. And I find the really the beauty in that is meeting what is ready to be released and let go with love and compassion, because it served us at one point in our life. And it served us probably in ways that we do love, but maybe where we are going is what we no longer want to take with us. And I wasn't even planning to share that about my office, but I am looking at that, really loving how this part of my office turned out. I got this um beautiful green council that's just fun and funky. And it feels like me. And maybe I'll share a picture on Instagram so you can see that. Um, but it ties in beautifully about what I'm gonna talk about today, about this insight into my own mind, something that I just recently unearthed that I am ready to let go and heal. And I'm already getting emotional talking about this. So this is an unscripted episode. I have a few like bullet points about, oh, I want to talk about these couple things. But if you know me, you know that I am going to allow what is supposed to come through, come through, and we will see where it goes. But before we get started, as always, I want to invite you to just take a moment. If you are listening in real time, it is May. I live in the South, so school is wrapping up, and there just keeps to be like this word that keeps, I keep hearing about May Sumber. So it's like this busy, crazy time of the year where we're winding down from school. There seems to be like the band concerts, the sports conditioning, like it feels like schedule Tetris. And it's so easy in this season to almost put aside the things that really help us, right? I feel like we don't have time. We'll get back to it in the summer when maybe we uh believe that we're gonna have more space and time. But when you feel like you don't have time, it is the most valuable to give yourself that pause. So if this is the only thing you do, allow yourself in this moment, if it's safe to do so, to put your hands on your heart and just breathe in. And as you exhale, just let it go a little bit more. Allowing yourself to land. You are safe to take this breath, breathing into your heart space. And as you exhale, maybe just giving yourself some gratitude for showing up, being here, holding it all together, and giving yourself permission to be held. Even if just a little bit by maybe the chair that you're sitting in, the nature around you, who can you lean on for support? Just letting go, watching how life is not gonna fall apart. We need to pause and breathe as well. Okay, so let's dive into what I want to talk about today. Um, I think I want to start it with going back to an experience that I had earlier this year. So in January, I co-hosted my first all-day, all evening retreat. It was called the Story Shift Retreat. If you're local, it was magical. We may do it again in the future. And um, it was just such a transformative experience. I co-hosted with two other incredible local women. And then we had a bunch of amazing healers come in and do sound healing and different somatic tools and energy clearing. And it was so powerful. And at that retreat, though, um, I kind of led people through how to shift their stories. We always have these stories that are running our lives, and 95% of our stories we're not even consciously aware of. And what's interesting is as we increase safety in our lives, we start to see more of these stories. And we need to see them in order to clear them up. So when we don't incorporate the nervous system, a lot of times we are like doing that band-aid approach of like healing the stories we can see, but so many live underneath the surface and are actually driving our behavior. So when we get into the nervous system, we get to see more and we have the opportunity to heal more and really have more intentional intentionality over our lives. So it's this beautiful thing. But at the retreat, one woman who was there came up to me and said how I must not have any stories to clear. I don't remember exactly what her words were, but something about like, you know, you've been doing this work for so long. So you must be like good, right? Like you don't have anything left to rewrite. And I just was like, oh, just the opposite. Just the opposite. This work is never done. This work, it's, I truly believe this work is a privilege and a gift. It's not something we need to do, right? Many of us, me included, did this without knowing any story work, mindset work, nervous system work for decades of my life. But knowing it and choosing it has truly changed every area of my life. And I say that and I get emotional because it is just, it has helped me so much. So in doing the work, it's not that we just get to this endpoint, we're like, okay, we are done. We've cleared all the stories, we choose everything we want to choose. That will never happen. It's almost like I am safe to see more. So the more I do this, the more I realize like just how much more is there, right? But I also am not in a rush. And sharing this, and this is where my unscripted nature and letting the flow comes in. I'm my mind is going to something I saw on Instagram recently about how when we are an ego, we are focused on the finish line. And when we are aligned with our soul, we are focused on the journey. So shifting our stories, healing our nervous system, we are never going to get the end point. And sometimes that can feel really frustrating. But once we get to the point where we're like, this is just part of being human, it's this beautiful thing. There is no rush. There's always more beauty available, but the beauty exists when we are unrushed and we're able to just go and flow and see what happens as we go. So that story is resonating. And then to pull it back into what is going on in my mind, something that I've unearthed recently. And this is where I'm getting vulnerable. And I really do attest my ability to speak on this podcast about some vulnerable truths to people literally all around the world, which has been so cool, is creating more safety for me, right? Creating more safety that I've been doing in different ways. I've been doing a different training in applied neurology that has really just tapped into more safety. So it's like I am stepping into discomfort, maybe telling you about something in my past that's unearthed this story and really talking about in real time what I'm going through. But I do believe this helps. So anyway, recently I was working with my coach. And I will also say here that the privilege to work with a coach is such a beautiful thing. So if you are able to do so, find a coach that resonates with you because most of our stories that are no longer serving us have been created in a relational, relational pattern. So oftentimes when we look back at these stories, we've picked up stories and beliefs, and they may have been planted out of love or no misalignment, no like bad intent, but we may have taken it on in a way that does not serve us now. And because oftentimes these stories that we've created have come from relational patterns, it is so supremely healing to rewrite the stories in relationships. So it's one reason that I am always working with a coach or two, because I find it so beneficial to my own healing. And I also only really like to work with coaches who have coaches because it is this, I know that they're continuing their own journey. And I want to work with people who are continuing their own journey. So recently on a call with my coach, the really shortened version of it is I discovered that I had this belief, and I'm trying to see how much context to give you, but I was working through just something that was coming up that I had totally forgotten that on the surface was not even a big deal at all. And I realized that I had this memory of my dad saying something to me about like, it once you make your own money, you can do whatever you want. So something along those realms of like, you know, once you make your own money, you can do whatever you want. So even in my memory, which memory is a whole thing about like how how reliable are our memories, our emotional states, our stress states, colors, what we actually do remember and don't remember. So I'm not even sure if this is an accurate memory, but it doesn't even matter because it is a pattern in my nervous system. But I kind of remember in this memory that I had forgotten until this call with my coach, sitting around the dining room table, and I probably wanted to do something or I wanted to buy something. And my dad saying probably really lightly, like, no. And when you make your own money, you can do whatever you want. So it was probably just this light side note, but I remembered that experience and I feel like it has driven me into making more money, believing the path to getting what I want is making more money, noticing like when I feel discomfort. Sometimes my mind goes to work and creation and making more money, even though I logically know that they're not tied, even though, truthfully, my family is doing better than ever. So I can logically know something, but then I can also start to have the safety and awareness of a pattern beneath the surface that is driving so much of my behavior. So I have just started to notice number one, oh, I do have this belief about if I make more money or when I make my own money, I think my own money, that part is tied to it. When I make my own money, I can do whatever I want. And this coming up in periods of discomfort. So I'm just starting to look at this, bring it to the surface so that I can have more intentionality over it. So we need to first bring ourselves aware of these patterns if we want to change them. We can't just create new patterns without looking at it. I usually say it's like cleaning up a messy closet. We can't just like magic wand it and it's clean. We have to go in there or hire someone to do the thing and clean it up. And sometimes it feels worse before it feels better. So I noticed even this pattern coming up this morning because um me and my husband, right now, we're in this really great routine of kind of like alternating in the morning about who is getting up with our son, getting him a nourishing breakfast, making sure he's set for school, getting him to school. And sometimes we're both up and we're both helping a little bit, but really having that be like one of us is doing it so the other person can sleep in or read or walk or doing something nourishing for themselves. And right now that's working really, really well for us. Well, today was my husband's turn and he got up, but I was up anyway. And then he was getting ready to go on a golf trip with his friends for the next few days. So he was doing everything he needed to do with my son, but he was also out of the kitchen, in and out, trying to get ready for this trip. And I was home and awake. So then I got pulled into stuff, kitchen stuff, cleaning up, getting my son like extra water and other things, which on the surface is no problem. But I noticed this thought of like, I can't get what I want. So again, all these thoughts that are driving our behavior, and 95% of them aren't going to be logical or realistic, but they are driving our behavior. So I was very aware of like, oh, this is interesting. Like, I believe this was going to be my morning. And now I'm not getting what I want. And then my mind was getting pulled into creating from work for work, but not in a really like fun, flexible, flowy way. It was like out of this urgency, like need to create results way. But because I've started to do this work, I had so much awareness around like, of course, I'm feeling discomfort that I'm not getting what I want. And this neuropathway that I've created over decades of my life is pulling me into, well, just make money. We'll just make money. So, from that place of awareness, I could really just ask for what I needed. So then I just went to my husband and was like, Do you mind? Like, I would really love for you to be present with Griffin. I'd really love you to be present with our son as he's getting ready, just to make sure he has everything he wants. Is it okay if I go take a walk? Which was fine, right? Like I just needed to decide what I wanted and go after it. So I took a walk and I really just sat and thought, this is so interesting. Where else is this coming up in my life? Because the thing about these stories, especially these stories that are decades old, they don't just affect one area of our life, right? Like I probably wanted makeup or to do something fun with my friends when I was, I don't remember. I don't remember the context of the memory that where this was probably first planted in childhood. It doesn't just color if I want makeup, right? Like I can buy any makeup that I want right now. It affects everything. It is a pathway in my brain now. So I was able to walk and just really reflect and just really notice, okay, where else is this showing up? Where else, when I feel discomfort, am I drawn into working and creating results? And starting to have that awareness allows me to pause and create a new way of doing it. So the last thing I'm gonna say before I wrap this episode up to keep these short and sweet is I recently was working with a woman. It was back in the fall, and she has made incredible progress, like working with her nervous system. But in the beginning, she had a lot of discomfort doing this, looking at her nervous system, slowing down, looking at our thoughts. And she had a lot of discomfort. And what kept coming up is like, I just feel worse when I do this. I just feel worse. Like I just want to feel better. Like it's easier for me just to tell myself it's all okay and get moving. And I said, yes, but is that working? Like, is that actually working more than in the moment? So the thing is, I'm not gonna lie to you. Like sometimes looking at our stories does feel worse. Like me noticing, like, oh, I'm drawn to work when I am feeling uncomfortable. I don't like that. Like I wish it was different, right? But it has served me in the past. I can look at it with compassion for where it was created. And also from that place of being able to safely sit with the discomfort, I can start to write a new story. I can start to look at that. What if I can get anything that I want regardless of how much money I make? And truthfully, I have so much evidence of that. And the more that I believe that, more that comes in. So money tends to follow me being happy, me being in resonance, me doing what I want, living what I want, living how I want. And I believe all of us are here to live in these beautiful aligned ways that light up and serve the world. And it's not selfish at all. So I'm just sharing what's going on for me in real time, unfiltered. And I would just love for you to start to notice what is what is one story that you are ready to release if you slowed down and met that with safety and love and compassion versus needing it to go away, what would open up for you? Like, how can you bring more safety to sit with the discomfort? So thank you so much for being here, seeing this insight into my mind. I hope you have a beautiful week and I will see you next week. Thank you for spending this time with me today. If this episode supported you, you can download my free daily ease reset checklist. It's linked in the show notes and designed to help you shift out of stress and into ease this week. Make sure you're following the podcast so these conversations can meet you each week. I'll see you next time.