Episode 18 : Become an Energetic Match for What You Desire

🎙️ Episode 18 — Become an Energetic Match for What You Desire

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Welcome to Episode 18 of The Less Stress, More Magic Podcast ✨
 I’m your host, Erin Wallen, and I’m so glad you’re here.

This podcast is for capable, caring women who are doing all the “right” things—yet still feel overwhelmed, exhausted, or stuck in stress. If you’ve ever tried to “think more positively” or reframe your mindset and wondered why it didn’t stick, this episode is for you.

In this episode, we explore what it truly means to become an energetic match for what you desire—and why constantly “wanting” something may actually be keeping it further away. We talk about the emotional energy behind manifestation, the nervous system’s role in receiving, and how to stop chasing outcomes from urgency, scarcity, and pressure.

We’ll talk about:
 • Why desire can unintentionally repel what you want
 • How to identify the emotional states you’re truly craving
 • The connection between manifestation and nervous system regulation
 • Why the energy you create a goal from matters deeply
 • How to embody abundance, freedom, joy, or peace before the external result arrives
• The shift from gripping tightly to “needing for nothing”

Why This Matters

So many women unknowingly sacrifice the very feelings they desire—freedom, peace, presence, joy, balance—in the process of trying to achieve their goals. But the energy in which we pursue something shapes the experience we create.

In this episode, I invite you to stop asking only “What do I want?” and begin asking:
“How do I believe this will make me feel?”

Because when you begin cultivating those feelings now, you not only experience more ease in the present moment—you often become far more magnetic to the things you desire.

If you’re ready to go deeper into this work and build a nervous system that supports the life and results you want, you can explore my signature program here:
 👉 Power of Ease: https://erinwallencoaching.myflodesk.com/powerofeaseprogram 

Reflection / Journal Prompts

Take a moment to reflect or journal:

• What goal or desire feels especially important to me right now?
 • How do I imagine I will feel once I have it?
 • How can I begin experiencing more of those feelings today—before the goal arrives?

✨ Free Resource
 Support your nervous system with my Daily Ease Reset Checklist—a simple, grounding tool to help you shift out of stress and back into calm throughout your day.
 👉 Daily Ease Reset Checklist :  https://erinwallencoaching.myflodesk.com/dailyeasechecklist 

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📱 Connect with me on Instagram for more support and behind-the-scenes:
 👉 @joybyerin on Instagram

Transcript

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Desire is actually a little vibration that can keep us from what we want. So we think we should step into desire and then we need to know what we want in order to get what we want. And that is not wrong, but after we have clarity with what we want, there's a different step that shifts you out of desire that really helps you bring yourself there. Welcome to the Less Stress, More Magic Podcast. I'm your host, Aaron Wallen, stress freedom coach, intuitive strategist, and former clinical pharmacist. This show is for busy, capable women with big goals who are ready to stop living with so much stress and are ready for a more ease-based, effective way of living and working. Here, we explore how stress is a survival response, not a success strategy, and how regulating your nervous system leads to more clarity, better decisions, and everyday magic. I can't wait to share with you. Let's dive in. Hi there and welcome back to the Less Stress More Magic podcast. This is episode 18. And today I really want to talk to you about how to become an energetic match to anything you desire. So I'm gonna walk you through a few fun things. We're gonna see what flows through. This is completely unscripted, other than the idea that came to me about this is what I want to talk about today. I will, before we get into our grounded moment, just tell you about a few fun things that are now open, are now coming. Number one, wherever you're listening to your podcast, you should now see something called fan mail. So this allows you to communicate to me. You can send me a message, tell me what is resonating with you, maybe what you'd like to see more of. So if you don't mind, this is brand new, test it out. It should be right in your show notes, right at the top. And I am so excited to hear from you. If you haven't already and you are loving listening, if you could leave me a five-star review, if you give me um some a testimonial, it's even better. This just helps get this work out into the world. I have noticed we're we've been in about 20 countries, I think close to a hundred different cities. And it's just so fun to see how this is spreading. I, of course, don't know everyone who's listening in. So the fan mail option is a way for me to connect deeper with you. And then also, if you aren't connected with me on Instagram, that's a great way to just maybe know me a little bit more behind the scenes, get some additional tips and tricks. Finally, one thing that I want to share with you is that in the next few episodes, we're gonna switch things up a little bit. So up until now, this has been a solo show. And I plan to continue a lot of solo episodes. I actually am single definition in human design, which means that I do have a lot of energy and ideas that flow through me uniquely. And of course, I get ideas out in the world, but I really love to share from this place. However, there's some incredible women that I plan to bring into this podcast and expose you to and hear, have you hear from their unique wisdom. So I have a couple guest episodes that are coming up with some really special clients of mine, and you're gonna hear from them about their own journey, prioritizing their nervous system, how that has affected their life and their business. So if you're not following along, make sure you do because I don't think you're gonna want to miss these episodes. All right, we're gonna talk about becoming an energetic match to everything that you want and desire. But as always, before we go there, what I want to do today is I'm going to invite you to just slow right down, slow right down, even just a little bit wherever you are, and start to notice your breath going in through your nose and out through your mouth. Maybe if it feels supportive, putting your hands on your heart, maybe just acknowledging you are doing an amazing job. You're doing an amazing job. Give yourself some credit, breathing in and breathing out, letting go any self-criticism, any judgment, any to-dos for this moment in time. Let yourself arrive, even for these few breaths. Thank you for being here. Okay, so let's get into the episode: Becoming an energetic match for everything that you want. So, this episode, completely unscripted. So, I too am going to be excited about what I share with you because there's a lot of directions this could go. But I think what's being called to share with you first is it's been a very interesting conversation that I've had with many of my clients lately about how desire is actually a low vibration that actually can keep us from what we actually want. So we think we think we should step into desire and it's like, what do we want? And we need to know what we want in order to get what we want. And that is not wrong. I think really spending time dreaming and thinking. And I did some episodes about, you know, the power of dreaming and the three levels of dreaming a few episodes back that you can go and re-listen to or listen to the for the first time. But after we have clarity with what we want, there's a different step that shifts you out of desire that really helps you bring yourself there. And um, this is definitely it's a manifestation teaching. I really like David Hawkins' work about the emotional scale, and it shows that I believe the energy of desire is like 125 and anything below 200 on his scale, and I'm bringing this up from memory, so it might not be exact this exactly like this, but desire is a vibration that when we're in it, we are actually repelling what we want because we are sending the message that I don't have. If I want something, it's because I don't have it. So it's really interesting that like after we go to desire, after we decide, like, okay, this is what I want, becoming an energetic match for what I want looks like getting clear on not only the thing that I want, but how I imagine I'm going to feel when I have the thing. Because the truth is, everything that you think you want is because of how you think you're going to feel when you have it. If you want more money, if you want a promotion, if you want to travel, if you want a new house, literally anything that you want, you're imagining experiencing a different blend of emotions than you are experiencing now. So, what I would recommend you doing is getting clear on what those emotions are. So when I have this thing, I am imagining that I am going to feel X, Y, and Z. So really getting clear on those emotional states. So this is so powerful for a couple of reasons. It's going to help you actually magnetize what you want in faster. But the second area of this is like you actually don't want the thing if it's not going to make you feel that way. What you want is how you're going to feel. So when we are so focused on what we want, we might go toward achieving it in ways that get us further away from how we want to feel. So for example, I have clients that want, I have clients who are coaches who want more clients, who want more clients in their coaching practice. And they imagine when they have that, they're going to have more freedom, they're going to feel more balanced. And then they might actually sacrifice freedom and balance in order to achieve those things because they're not focused on the emotional states and prioritizing them. So this is so important. It's something I definitely see too with like a lot of women who have families wanting goals because they think they're going to be more present with their families when they have those things. But then they're sacrificing presence and time with their family in order to get those things. And the energy in which we go after a goal is the energy in which the goal is going to be created. So I really like looking, thinking about like, what is the soil that I'm planting this goal in? If I'm planting it in urgency and scarcity and fear, I am not going to receive this plant of space and freedom and abundance, right? I need to plant in the soil that I want things to bloom in. So if I am looking for more freedom, more abundance, more space, more wellness, more peace of mind, those have to be the focus while I'm doing the thing and growing the thing. Because again, you might be able to achieve the goal, but you want the goal because how it's going to make you feel. And you're not going to feel that way if you go after that goal in a different energy. So you want to get clarity on how you think you're going to feel when you have that thing. And then you want to start prioritizing that and looking around about how do I already feel this way? How in my life am I already experiencing abundance? So I'm going to share a personal example and I'll just walk through this in real time. Um, but I had shared on a previous episode how we had recently hired a designer and it went amazing. She did my office, she did our bonus room upstairs, she did our stairwell, which we have a really long, like 17 stairs stairwell. And I just never really knew how to do it, make it feel cozy and like me. And that is done. We got this runner, we painted it, we did a gallery wall, and I love how it turned out. We did our living room, our dining room, our master bedroom, and the powder room. So we did like a lot of things, and I might be even forgetting. I think we did our four-year two. So we did a lot of things, and right off of our living room, we have this beautiful outdoor patio. And we have doors with stacking glass that open right up. And we did not do that area. So when we moved into this house we built four years ago, we did furnish the that outdoor space with a table and there's a couch and two chairs and a carpet. And I really like it, but it's like a level five out of 10, right? Like it does the job. The space is one of my favorite spaces because it it's out in nature. I hear the birds. You probably have heard me talk about my bird buddy that I love so much. But like the actual things are not 10 out of 10. Like they're not, they, they're just like neutral, right? So it's not a problem. But now because so much of my house has been energetically raised, I see this area as something like I would like to raise this to. I would like to increase the vibe. And after four years, the pieces that we purchased for out there, I would say were not the highest quality. So they are showing somewhere. And again, none of this is a problem. But if my goal was to revamp that space, I might go and purchase things that don't actually make me feel the way that I want to feel. And how I want to feel in that space is going to be different than how you want to feel with your goals. So this is a really unique process. But I'm just thinking, okay, when we do that space and we're not in a rush because it's fine. And I think there's a beauty in also like loving what you have and also holding space for where you would like to go, right? And neither place is better than the other and holding space for both places. But when I think about revamping that outdoor space, how I would love to feel, and I'm doing this in real time, is just like I love it. Like I just want to have this sense of like, this is so me. I love it. I want to feel joyful yet cozy and rejuvenated. So really getting clear, and I think I'm going to build this out more, spend a little bit more time with that, and maybe have six to eight emotional states that I want to feel in this space when I create it. But then what's really fun is number one, when we do that project, I can really use those emotional states as like, is this getting me closer to what I want? But in the meantime, I can start bringing in that energy now. So for example, joy, right? I want to feel increased joy in that space. We have a bird buddy right off of there that brings me daily joy. And I am fully aware that stepping into this place of like, I love to bird watch claims me as a midlife woman and I am here for it. It brings me so much joy to watch these birds. And what else can I bring in? So it's like, okay, that's joyful. Can I we play some music out there when they're when we're out there that makes me feel joyful? Maybe it's about we did get this beautiful like turquoise and cream planter that's out there, right? So we can add things in energetically, physically that help support the vibe in which I want to create it. I don't have to wait until I have the thing. And this number one allows me to experience those feelings in advance, right? Because everything we want to experience, everything we want to create, every goal that we want is because of how we want to feel. And then also, we don't need external things to experience feelings, right? We can create those feelings. So once I know how I want to feel, I can choose to bring them in more. I can focus on the things that I already have that make me feel that way. I can bring them in more. And then the beauty of this is too what tends to happen is then we don't really need to have the goal, right? And it's great either way. The goal would be great, but also not having the goal would be great. Having this outdoor space of ours revamped would be great. And not having it done, no problem, because I'm experiencing what I want to experience either way. And if that feels scary to get to that place and you're like, but I really want it. I really want my thing, whether it's some type of renovation or more money or promotion or whatever you want. And it feels scary to let it go, to release it, to feel how you want to feel, and just say, I'm good either way. What I have found is that when you are able to let things go are when things come in easily more easily and not from need. There has been this beautiful mantra that has really just like flown to me in so many ways about like needing for nothing, needing for nothing. And almost like when I need for nothing, I receive it all, right? I already have those moments of joy. I already have these moments of awe. I already have these moments of like, I love it without anything changing. So I really want you to take what I've shared with you today, to pick one goal that you are wanting to achieve, really wanting to achieve, and creating a compass around how this makes you feel or how this goal you imagine it making you feel. And then using that to bring in and savor moments, glimmers, micromoments, places, anything that makes you feel that way. And then just notice how maybe you start to ungrip a little bit from that goal. Maybe because you're already experiencing the feelings that you want to experience more of, that goal because becomes something nice to have, but not something that you need. And then also be amazed at how maybe from that place it flows in much, much faster. I would love to hear how this episode resonates with you. Remember, we have that new fan mail mail option. So go ahead and send me a message. Tell me what goal you would love to achieve if you are going to try this exercise. Imagine how it's going to make you feel. And thank you so much for listening in. Come back and hear soon from some of my really special guests that I have coming. And I hope you have a beautiful, beautiful day. Thank you for spending this time with me today. If this episode supported you, you can download my free Daily Ease reset checklist. It's linked in the show notes and designed to help you shift out of stress and into ease this week. Make sure you're following the podcast so these conversations can meet you each week. I'll see you next time.