"In Loving Memory of Lincoln Hines"

A powerful look at Lincoln’s cancer journey—highlighting his strength, perseverance, and the lasting impact of his story, and how his life brought a community together in support, strength, and remembrance.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:13

I first off want to say thank you so much for taking the time to share the story. I know it's not always easy, but it's definitely something that should be heard. Uh, and and you are his voice till to this day. Um so uh for the audience that doesn't know, um Lincoln Hines was your son uh that passed away last was it June? June June. Yes. And so kind of walk us through how it all started um and just kind of you know give us a little kind of just a breakdown to kind of understand how it all unfolded.

SPEAKER_01 0:46

So uh back in uh 2023, um in the the earlier part of 2023, um my wife had noticed that um his neck uh there was a lot of swelling. And um I was at work and uh she had sent me a picture and she was like, Do you think we should get this checked? And I said, probably so. Um so she took him to the pediatrician, and um when he saw it, he knew something wasn't quite right. And so uh he's like, I'm going to uh get you set up at the hospital to get some scans and x-rays done. Um so we did that and um at a local hospital and um really didn't see anything going on, um, but we knew there was still some problems, so they sent us over to um cross the mountain um to the University of Virginia um to the to the children's part of that hospital. And so um did some tests, didn't know exactly what it was, thought it might be an autoimmune disease, things like that. Um and so uh after one of the tests, um uh Candace had dropped me uh uh back off at work uh because we'd gone uh to the appointment, and um it was maybe 20 minutes later she called me and uh she said they told us we need to come over, back over. And so at that point we knew something was definitely wrong. Um he was admitted to the hospital, and uh it still took a day or two to get it finally figured out. Um, but um later that week that we found out that he did have um leukemia, um T cell leukemia, ALL, and um so at that point uh we started uh chemo treatment. Um course it was difficult on him. He lost his hair, um, a lot of hospital visits back and forth, things like that. Um but he uh was in remission and um was was doing pretty good with it. Of course, there were checkups and appointments and things like that, and we had to be very careful um to make sure you know he you know didn't get sick and things like that. So we really tried to protect him because a fever could land him in the in the ER at any time. And so um, you know, we kind of went through things, you know, it wasn't normal, but it was better than it was, but um then it eventually did come back, and um because it was so aggressive, um the discussion was to get a bone marrow transplant um to try to um take care of it. And so um I have two other children, and um my other son, uh he who which is older, um, he was actually a perfect match. And so uh we started that process and uh we're planning to do that at uh Cincinnati Children's Hospital. And so uh we went up there and uh basically um moved up there for for a while and stayed at the Ronald McDonald House, which which they were amazing. And um once we got up there, uh then we saw and they saw that it had come back. And so, of course, at that point the bone marrow transplant was not an option at that point because uh had to get him back into remission. Um so we uh spent time up there, uh did a treatment plan, um and uh it was it was doing okay and uh just kept coming back. Um and so went back and forth between Cincinnati and UVA. And uh then the last time we went up to Cincinnati, um, you know, things were looking good, and we're gonna try for the bone marrow. And then uh when we got up there that day, uh we we went, uh they did uh labs for him, and uh we were getting ready to uh to check in, and they called and said that it was back again. And so um, of course, he was uh placed in the hospital at that point, and um he went through a lot of different types of chemotherapy, some uh more more potent, more toxic than others. Um so it definitely hit him hard, and um he had a lot a lot of hard, hard moments. Um but at that point um then I guess this was into to 2025, the first part of the year, and um they said there really wasn't anything else that they could do. And so at that point, um they were able to plan to make a wish trip um for us. We went to Florida, uh, flew from Cincinnati down to Orlando, and we spent a week there. And um then once we got back, uh the discussion was do you want to stay here or do you want to go home under hospice? And um that was a no-brainer for us. We wanted to be at home. And so uh we came home, uh, I guess it was in May, and um the community they did a um parade for us. It was just supposed to be uh some of my coworkers um coming by to welcome us home. And then I get a call from uh one of the deputies from the sheriff's office, and he was like, hey, this is what we're doing. And uh it was definitely overwhelming. We had um over 200 uh participants that uh came right by our house um right up our road, and uh there were motorcycles, there were jeeps, uh trucks, vehicles, uh fire trucks, uh police vehicles, uh, there was even a horse in the parade and tractors. Um so he was able to sit on the front porch and he was able to see the whole thing. Um so having that um community um support uh was absolutely amazing. And so he was able to to enjoy that. And um the last the last uh weekend that we had, um hospice had come in and he wasn't doing well at all. And there was an event uh that we were going to go to uh for um pediatric cancer patients and their families, and uh was about two hours away. And that morning he woke up and he was jumping up and down and he was he was doing good, and even the hospice nurse was surprised. And she was like, Well, everything's um in order. I've contacted the local hospice um company there um if something happens, and so we were able to go have have that um that weekend. Um that last night was was hard. I think he was up pretty much all night. Um and uh he was on um on morphine um every hour or two, but um we were able to have that time as a family, and uh when we were headed home and uh we knew it was getting close, so we called the hospice nurse and she was gonna meet us at her house. And um we were about 15 minutes away, and he actually passed in in the vehicle. Um so um we went from there just directly to the funeral where I work at, and uh that was uh June 14 14th, and uh the service was June 21st of last year, and um it was it was an amazing service, nothing you want to have to go through and nothing that we ever expected. Um but uh the the the outpouring of support um from friends um all over the country um and uh the community um it was definitely definitely an amazing thing.

SPEAKER_00 8:54

Now, how old was he once he first got diagnosed with it back in 2023?

SPEAKER_01 8:59

It was 2023, so uh he would have been two when he was diagnosed.

SPEAKER_00 9:03

Okay. Yeah. And so he was four once he once he passed. Kind of walk us through that. Um that's that's really um that's a really wholesome, wholesome moment, uh, especially him passing with you guys there. Yes. Um did you feel a sense of of a sense of comfort? Um this is gonna sound weird to some people, but did you feel a sense of comfort that you was able to take him to where really you work every day?

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Yes. Yeah, it it was. Um and it's something I you know you know still think about, obviously, um every day. And um some days it is hard going in there, but um you know, that also helps bring him closer too. So Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:50

Yeah, that's a that's a special you know, a lot of people would look at that as uh not terrifying, but you know, that's always in your memory, but that's that's that's really a special bond to have that. Um in out of all this story, what has life what has his life taught you the most about it?

SPEAKER_01 10:11

Aaron Ross Powell Well definitely that um you know time is short. Um and you know you have to take the moments, cherish the moments that you have because you never know when it's gonna change. And that's something um you never want to be in this position. You never want to bond and have a connection with other families through this, but that definitely happens. And through it all, it is a good thing because um having having that support, having, you know, families that are going through it, uh being able to to talk to people, um, you know, this is what's happening, what what happened when when you went through it, things like that, and it makes a it definitely makes a difference. Um it definitely changes your perspective because the things that maybe were a big deal and bothered you, and I can't believe this, and things like that, you know, they're not that big of a deal anymore. Um yeah, you you learn to enjoy the the little things in life, and it definitely changes changes your perspective.

SPEAKER_00 11:25

It probably changed your whole perspective as a parent, too. Yes. Raising kids.

SPEAKER_01 11:29

Yes, it it does. And I mean, um Candace did the majority of his appointments uh when I was off uh of course I would go along, or if she was doing something, I would would take him and and all. Um but it's definitely a family effort because our other two were right there with us. Um Brooklyn and Austin are homeschooled. And so um, you know, when he would spend weeks in the hospital, whether it was at UVA, and then of course when we went to Cincinnati, um they would do their school there. Um so it's definitely it affects the entire family and um it definitely changes things, and um they were definitely a good brother and sister to him and help take care of him and things like that. Um but it definitely changes.

SPEAKER_00 12:21

Now you said he his brother was a perfect match for him. What was his response to that?

SPEAKER_01 12:28

Um he he was nervous about it, yeah. Um, which I totally understand. Yeah. Um, but he was definitely, definitely ready to do it. Um they went through after we found that we all um got tested, and um he was he was the perfect match, and so um he was ready to do it. Um we'd gone to Cincinnati, gone through the testing. Um that wasn't easy for him to have to do that, but he he made it through, and you know, they even asked him questions, things like that, just that he understood. Um so he he was ready to do it, but it just didn't quite get to get to that point.

SPEAKER_00 13:07

He what a what a um what an honor, but also the at such a young age, yes, yes. Wanting to do that, that speaks uh speaks volumes. Definitely it's an amazing story. Yes. How has this changed your perspective of death as a whole? You know, you've dealt with death for most all your career. How has that changed now?

SPEAKER_01 13:28

Um like I said, the hardest part for me has always been younger, younger people, children, teenagers, things like that, um, those that uh had a life ahead of them and didn't weren't able to and to enjoy that. But um now losing losing a son has definitely changed um my perspective and um being able to help people. Um I actually met with a family yesterday that that lost uh lost a baby. And um, I told them I said, I I know where you're at. And uh like I said, you never want to have to bond with someone that way, but I know exactly what they're they're going through, I know exactly what's going on. And um that helps me to be able to to be there, yeah, been in their shoes and to be able to help them and you know, tell them if there's ever anything you need or need to talk about or whatever. That that's that's what I'm there for.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

How is this how has this affected your job as handling death uh just in general with your job? Sure.

SPEAKER_01 14:41

Um it's uh I have my moments. Um you know one day's good, the next day it's not. Um and so even you know, s some of the songs that we had at his service, um, you know, I hear those at services. And so uh that makes it hard sometimes, um, because I'm the funeral director, I'm the one taking care of the family, and I'm supposed to keep things together. Um had a service the other day that that had a song and it definitely got me, but thankfully I was in the music room and I had a couple minutes to get myself together and then get back out there and take care of the family. Um so it definitely makes it harder at times, but um it's what we do.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Yeah. I I kind of want to move on to this other area of this, um, because it's not just with this situation, but many situations people often uh find that they can't they can't handle death and they find it unbearable. How was you able to wrap your mind around everything and really really get to where you are now?

SPEAKER_01 15:57

Sure. Um God's the one that brings us through. Um because of course there's questions, you know, you ask why. I mean, from the beginning, why why us, why him? Um that's not how it's supposed to be. And then, of course, you know, when we got the news that you're either gonna stay here, he'll pass here, you go home under hospice, he'll be at home. And, you know, the questions continue, why do we have to go through this? Um but with a lot of prayer, you just have to let it go, put it in God's hands, and that's easier said than done. And just because you do that doesn't mean that everything's perfect, you know. Um June 14th this year, of course, will be one year, and um it's not an easy thing, and it doesn't mean time time will make things better, I feel like, but it's never gonna go away. It's something that we'll always have. Um my wife and I will always have, the kids will always have, um, grandparents, uh, family, friends, it'll always be there um in different different uh levels. Yeah. But um you have to take take the bad and turn it into good. Um we had so many people that um reached out to us um in our community, you know, until you start going through this, you don't realize how many children are affected by this. Uh, you know, you you might see the um see the picture of the the child with cancer and you know has no hair, but until you're there, that's what makes, you know, that's when it brings it home. And um so many people reached out to us, so many people helped us, different organizations locally, um, nationally, and our whole goal is to turn this bad into good, um, being able to help um other families um going through this. Uh we just had another family in our area, I believe it was early this year, where their son was diagnosed uh with cancer. And um my wife has reached out to them and um let it, you know, let them know that anything that we can do, just being a sounding board, listening, yeah, uh whatever it is. And that's what you have to do is turn this um, turn the bad into the good. Yeah. Um we work with uh different local uh foundations as far as um you know doing uh fundraising, um, being there to to talk to families, um, you know, speak at events, um things like that. Um uh earlier this year we went to uh our state capitol and um worked with one of the foundations and we're there for childhood uh cancer advocacy day. And so um Candace and I and the kids we went up there and um that was a great experience. We were able to speak with uh different uh lawmakers um about different bills that are um going through to help uh families monetarily, things like that. Um because it definitely is uh definitely is a hard thing to go through with so many things emotionally, um, you know, and and even with finances and all, um because the bills definitely rack up. Um you're you're into thousands and thousand thousands and even into you know, you can get to millions as far as treatment. Um and then um when I I was fortunate to be able to take off work uh when we went to Cincinnati. And so um I'm very thankful for that that we were able to have time together and we were able to go as a family. Um but you know, that does have the issue as far as as work and all. And so um I went um, this was probably about four or five months or so without um without working. And so that definitely definitely uh takes a toll on you. But um, you know, so many different people reached out um and helped us, and um that's something we want to do is return that return that favor.

SPEAKER_00 20:13

Yeah. You you talked a little bit, and I know it it already is, but we've talked outside of this how music is is so important in in everyone's life. Kind of talk a little bit how you've been able to use music now as an outlet, but also um if I believe, if I remember correctly, you played a song, a recording at his funeral. So talk a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

Yeah, music is definitely definitely an important part um uh of life. And um I I did um recorded a song the the week um of his funeral, um uh went up and uh recorded, I played the saxophone on that and had a couple others with me. Um I would have loved to played it in the service, but I knew there was no way that I could I could do that. Um but music definitely helps. It brings back memories, um, good and bad. And um, you know, like I like I mentioned, you know, when I hear songs and services, um you know, sometimes I have to turn away and and wipe my eyes, but um it also brings comfort and uh and and help to you. Um so music is very important, um, kind of an outlet. Um sometimes I just time to time to get away, just start playing, and uh definitely brings a lot of comfort, a lot of memories. Yeah. Um probably one of I guess good and bad is is our trip to Disney. Um he loved it, he had a lot of fun. Um so sometimes when you hear those Disney songs, it uh it's not an easy thing, but it definitely brings back all the good memories. What was his favorite Disney character? Uh he loved cars, he loved Lightning McQueen. Um that was a huge thing. And even um, you know, with the Make a Wish, uh, we were able to um go through Disney, uh, did all the parks. And um, you know, got some of the pictures I have of him when he met some of the characters and uh uh Buzz Lightyear and Woody and then Pluto and all those things, and you could definitely see the the joy and the smiles on his face.

SPEAKER_00 22:22

Yeah. Yeah. Now was he was he able like to like enjoy it pretty well, like health-wise? Was he able to do that?

SPEAKER_01 22:28

He was, he was. Um, Cincinnati uh children's did an amazing job getting it all together. Um we didn't, of course, plan for any of that because the hope was to get uh get him better and come home. Um but when uh we knew the way it was heading, they said, What do y'all want to do? And we're like, you like to Florida. And I think it was the next day. Um they came in and said, You want to leave next Tuesday? And we were like, sure. And we didn't even have suitcases because we brought uh our stuff in totes so that we could get uh everything in our uh room at Ronald McDonald. And so we had to go out and uh we uh bought a couple suitcases and things like that, and they got everything planned uh for us, and um it was just a an amazing time. Um, you know, it was hard because we knew um kind of the way that it was gonna go. And so it was hard to be there, but to have the memories uh was definitely tremendous. Now, how long were you guys in Cincinnati? Um altogether, I think it was about three or four months over a period of like two visits there. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

Now I know you guys have, as you've already talked about, you guys work with a lot of organizations now. Um talk a little bit about that. I know there has been some new things that have come, uh come about. So kind of share a little bit about that.

SPEAKER_01 23:50

Sure. Um uh we're working with with one where um you know we're gonna do a Christmas program, um, you know, in it's gonna it's named after Lincoln, and um they uh do um Christmas gifts for uh you know cancer patients and their um siblings and even the parents. And so um they do a uh list, um, get a list from the family, um, take care of all the gifts um for the entire family, and then also give them a check um to help with expenses and things like that. And so uh typically, you know, probably be you know four to six families in our in our state. Um so it's all over, it's not just in our community, but it's all over the state um that that we're doing that with.

SPEAKER_00 24:38

Yeah. Now, how can how can people outside of this find that organization online? Uh through social media, website?

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Sure, absolutely. Um so uh we have the Hog Farmers Foundation in Stanton, Virginia. Okay. Um that's uh one we're working with. Um and so many different different um places. Ask Foundation. Um they do uh a lot of uh advocacy, uh which is the group we went with. Um and it's one of those things that um we don't know where where this will lead. Yeah. Um I don't know if that uh eventually will be starting a foundation or just being a part of others. Um I don't know what it looks like down the road, but um you know, I know everything he went with through and how strong he was, and we're definitely not gonna let that go. Um and I know everyone has their own thoughts and ways to cope. Um, because there are some families, you know, that may say, you know, I've been through it, I don't even want to hear the word cancer, I don't want to think about it. And and I understand that. Um, you know, that if that's how they cope, then that's perfectly fine. That's what they have to do. But with us, we're like, this has been our life for the last two, three years, and uh, we're not gonna let our chance to keep his memory alive and to be able to give back and to help other families and and to be there for people and support and help. And uh that's what that's what we're gonna keep doing.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

Yeah. As as a perspective, and this is a this is a hard question, but as a perspective from being his dad, um, is he that encouragement now to you? Oh, that he persevered, you may be going through a hard time, but do you look back to that? Is he uh what you think of sometimes when you don't want to get up in the morning and you're like, but you know what? What talk a little bit kind of go through that a little bit with your thoughts behind that?

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Sure, sure. And being as a um young boy, you know, he'd when it first happened, you know, he didn't understand. Um he kept getting stuck with needles for lab work, and um he eventually had to get a uh pick line put into his arm um to be able to uh receive treatment. Um and then later on he got a port um put in. And uh in Cincinnati even had to have it taken out and put another PIC line in. Um so he definitely went through it a lot of um you know, going through different surgeries and and things like that. Um uh he had to get spinal taps um uh and so he had to be sedated for that every time. Um so he definitely went through it. Um you know, and at one point he was he was just like no, no, no. And so that's the that's definitely a hard, hard thing having hearing your your son say no, no, no, and screaming and having to hold him down as things are are being done. And um, you know, it's it's it's heartbreaking to see. Um but he he fought hard. Um he was definitely a stubborn one. Um a lot of the nurses, they really had to work um to get get uh him to like them. And uh he was definitely a character, and they, you know, they really got to you know got to love him. Um there'd be times we'd be staying at the hospital and uh be 10, 11 o'clock at night, and they'd take him out and let him run around the hallways. And I just kept looking, are you sure about this? Like, it's Lincoln, it's fine. You know, he he uh he definitely uh he had a good side eye, is what uh is what people remember about him because you know you'd have a a new doctor, a new nurse come in, he'd just look at you, and then he'd look down, ignore you, and it was over. So you really had to work to get his attention and to get him to to like you. Yeah. Um but he he fought hard and uh he definitely persevered and uh you know the plan uh plan wasn't there for him to to get better.

SPEAKER_00 28:50

But um But in all of that, you you know, you look back and you say, ultimately, look what he left. You know a legacy at such a young age and a message. Yes, and I guess that kind of goes into my next question. You know, a lot of times you drive down the road, you might see the St. Jude sign, um, or uh a local nonprofit organization. What is your message uh to those out there that you know may not have ever had experienced anything like that in their life? Obviously, you guys, you know, never thought you would go through that. Yes. What's your message for supporting those foundations and and just going forth?

SPEAKER_01 29:26

Sure. Um it they're definitely worthy causes. And um you know, once you go into a children's hospital or into a clinic and seeing that, and um don't ever want anybody to have to do that, but when you walk in and you see all these other children, what they're going through. And we were fortunate, um, his could have been so much worse. And um when you see children that are in wheelchairs and uh can't feed themselves and so many different things, and once you see that, it definitely changes your perspective. And um and that's something that we always try to do, is we were going through it, but there are families that had it even worse. And so you gotta try to keep it in perspective. Um but once you once you see that and uh you know it it changes changes your whole mindset. And um these foundations, they do a a good work. And it's not just um financial um help, it's um having a support system, having um, you know, we were for fortunate to have um huge sports system of family and friends, but uh there are people that don't have that. And um these different organizations and foundations that that are there for them um not just monetarily, but also having someone to be able to talk to. Um I know in Cincinnati and the Ronald McDonald house where we stayed at, um, you know, Ronald McDonald, there's no charge at all. Um they provide uh three meals a day um in their in their uh dining room. Um there's just so much they do. And you know, there were people from all over the country, all over um the world uh that was at Cincinnati for treatment. Wow. And um what these uh places do are amazing. I know locally our McDonald's, um, you know, whenever you go through, they always ask, Do you want a roundup for uh um UVA children's? And I always say yes. And um we always joke and say that uh whenever we do that, whenever we did that, that that would um pay for Lincoln's snacks and the kids' snacks when they'd in clinic for hours and he'd be hooked up uh for his chemo. Um, you know, it could take six, eight, uh, ten hours. And um they even something as simple as that. And that's the thing, is it may seem like it's a very small thing, but when you're going through it, it is a big deal. Um, you know, different uh foundations they would provide um all expenses paid trips, um like overnight trips. And um, you know, the kids they had a blast doing that. Um, we were able to talk to other families and things like that. And um and what what he has left behind is as I mentioned with the community. Um I still had people that I have never that I don't know who they are, never met them, and they'll come up and ask how you're doing. Um, you know, how are you? How's how's your wife? How how's the family? And um, you know, what we saw about Lincoln or um, you know, so-and-so told me about it. And so the outreach is there, and um as I mentioned, you know, it's it's God that brings you through. And um people have asked us, you know, well, how do you how do you do it? How did you go through it? How can you still smile with what you're going through and what you have gone through? And that's the only way we do it, but being able to to give that to other people um allow us to be able to tell his story um is definitely a legacy. He's touched a lot of a lot of people in our area, and uh we're we're thankful for that.

SPEAKER_00 33:18

Yeah. You was talking about McDonald's a little bit. Um briefly, talk about his his obsession with McDonald's a little bit there.

SPEAKER_01 33:25

Well, he uh lived off of McDonald's for a long time. He loved McDonald's, chicken nuggets. There were times he'd eat 15, 20 at a time, and uh when we were in Cincinnati, I think we were there every day if if if not twice a day, and that was about the only thing that uh would satisfy him. Yeah. Um, so and actually at his service, um we had our local florist um do some arrangements, and uh I went to McDonald's and got a happy meal box, and she made an arrangement out of that, and that was right next to his casket.

SPEAKER_00 34:02

So that was uh was that was that his prime order was the uh the nuggets?

SPEAKER_01 34:07

Yes, the nuggets and fries, and they were the real fries because we'd try to get him fries from the hospital cafeteria, and he's like, No, he's like, I want real fries. So it was it was all McDonald's, and so we all kind of got tired of it, but yeah, whatever it's good for him to make him happy, that's what we were doing.

SPEAKER_00 34:22

Now, was he the the apples kind of guy or the yogurt? Uh he typically do apples. Apples, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Definitely apples.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

Okay, yeah, that's that's a sweet memory, yeah. For sure.