NexGen Patriots
The NexGen Patriots exists to inspire, inform, and empower every generation of Americans by connecting faith, values, and community with the issues that shape everyday life. Through meaningful conversations and real stories, the podcast provides a platform where local voices meet national discussions—bridging the gap between small-town perspectives and broader cultural and civic topics. We highlight the strength and resilience of communities while promoting informed citizenship rooted in integrity, responsibility, and hope for the future.
-Empowering every generation-
NexGen Patriots
"Raising the Next Generation" | NGP Live Panel #3
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This panel brings together leaders in education, counseling, mentorship, and parenting for an important conversation about raising the next generation. From building character and preparing young people for life beyond graduation to supporting mental health and navigating social media, technology, and AI, the discussion explores how families, schools, and communities can work together to prepare young people for a successful future.
"Empowering Every Gen"
And welcome back to our third and final panel as we open it up here on raising the next generation. Every generation wants the next one to have more opportunities, stronger values, and a brighter future. But raising children today comes with challenges that previous generations have never had to navigate. From social media to artificial intelligence to mental health, education, and preparing young people for life after graduation. The world is changing faster than ever. Tonight we're bringing together three different perspectives who work with young people in our schools, mental health, and through mentorship and family engagement. To highlight our discussion tonight, we will be discussing what it takes to build stronger character, prepare young people for success beyond graduation, support their mental and emotional well-being, and help families navigate the opportunities and challenges we face. Joining us this evening with our panelists is Dr. Inga Barker to my right, superintendent of the McDowell County, West Virginia Schools. To her right is Mr. Cliff Atkins, a licensed professional counselor with Clear Story Counseling. And last but not least, Mr. Paul Dick, County Level Director of Young Life Organization and an amazing father of four wonderful kids. Thank you guys so much for joining us. This is uh this is an exciting one. So let's just dive right on into this. Um the first segment I really wanted to hit on building character in a changing world. Um and really my first question is what are the most important character traits for children to develop before becoming an adult? Mr.
SPEAKER_00Atkins, would you like to open us up with a uh I would look at this in in two ways. I would say that for them as a person, developing resilience and critical thinking skills would be the the best character traits, I would think, internally and externally in dealing with people is to always be teachable and social, um, or teachable and talkable, like if that helps you remember that, like to always be able to have whoever hires you or whoever uh you are going to for help to be open to being taught because you can do almost anything if you're willing to be taught, and uh and then likable meaning always search for ways to get along with whoever you're around, because as most of us know, that's how a lot of doors get opened is just someone thinking of you because they had such a good interaction with you. Right, right. Mr. Paul.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You know, one character trait that would serve a kid well, you know, as they grow up, would would be to develop a healthy trust and an informed trust of other people, a critical thinking of who's for you. Um and in some sense, uh they won't be able to develop into a balanced person uh if there's like the instability of not understanding who else is in the room with you. So um, you know, a lot of the character trait of trust will like have to do with intergenerational relationships.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so it's not something they can develop on their own. It has to be instilled in them from the community around them, the schools they go to, the other services on the community, uh, even things like their family and their friends and their friends' parents. But to develop uh kids that are are not on their heels about life, but they're like steady on the balls of their feet. I'm thinking like athletic terms. Yeah, just like the character trait of being being ready for what's next, that trust. Um, and I agree with friendliness, and that goes a very long way. Yeah. If you just be a person that people are willing to talk to, and if you're if you're a good listener, it's very simple stuff. Like I think in my first job interview, uh, I was told like just don't show up with your phone, like show up with a book or nothing at all. Yeah. And shake their hand, look them in the eye. Basic stuff like that serves really well. Yeah. Dr. Parker.
SPEAKER_02Um it's kind of hard to add to what Cliff and Paul were saying. Of course, um, resilience is big. Uh be able to get up time after time after time and be willing to keep on going is huge because we see a lot of students just not wanting to try again because just they see as failure as the final destination. And the life teaches all of us, you know, you fall, you get up, you try and think of something different, how to approach this, and you keep going. Um, another trait would be adaptability, is because when I was teaching bazillions of years ago, we were talking about how we prepare students for the life that will be so changed. So now I think it's even more prevalent because we don't know with advances in technology and AI, like you know, some of the jobs, just like um computer engineering are becoming obsolete pretty quickly. But then, you know, mechanical, electrical engineering are starting to be on the rise, so you just don't know what's coming your way. So you have to be able to be able to say, you know, I will adapt, I will have a certain skill set and I will adapt to whatever whatever is coming my way. Uh conflict resolution is huge. Yes. And self-regulation is huge because with the social media, anybody can sit behind the computer and just be so mean, so nasty to others. And like, how do you try and just kind of adapt to like saying I'm not going to be this way and I'm not going to go on social media and just dish back the same vile, crazy things. So how do I self-regulate so that I don't go and just do the phone and start just bashing and then I go to school or go to practice and then you just do kiddale just because somebody said something about me. Right. So to me, that's becoming I think even more of a concern because with social media, that regulation is becoming so much harder because we are not putting children in situations where you have to just talk about um talk it out with a another person and you can be civil even if you do not agree on something, so you can still look somebody in the eye and say, This is how I think it is, and just work it out instead of just going behind the computer and just become completely mean to each other.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah. I think that's w wonderful to develop a tolerance where disagreement doesn't have to be uh painful, but it'd be really productive that way. And again, social media you can like and follow and unlike and unfollow and they just disappear. Yeah. But in the real world, we have to be able to work it out. It's really it's really good.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, certainly. Uh in a world where parents often rescue their kids, how do we develop a resilience? Start with you, Mr. Paul.
SPEAKER_01Well, you know, in some in some sense, I would I'd put it back into the trust, but putting it back into the hands of the kids. Um meaning that in some sense, studies have shown that adolescence is stretched. Meaning that it seems like it used to be even physically and emotionally, developmentally, you know, in the early teenage years, it would end around 18 years old when you could buy some more row cigarettes and start a family or whatever. This reminds me of like the 80s or something my parents talk about. But now it seems like adolescence, they say, starts much earlier. And it doesn't seem like kids are fully kind of emancipated, sometimes into their mid-20s. And if you're not tested during that time or given the trust to be like really part of the community, you don't get a chance to develop that resilience that you're gonna need because you are making big boy and big girl decisions throughout those years. And so, anyways, to develop resilience in some sense would involve the community around children and young adults giving the keys back to them in a meaningful way. Uh, not to give them no safety net, but to really let them go and run with things. I'm thinking of even ways that football coaches, for instance, can give ownership of the team to the team itself instead of running it for them. And that goes, like you put it into the local small uh employment opportunities or among families or whatever else. But I think it would in in some sense part of the discussion would be how does the adults of the community and whatever role they play uh put the trust um back into the hands and say, actually, we trust your generation, go ahead and do something, and you know we'll we'll guide you, but we don't have to um rescue you all the time in such a way where you didn't do something meaningful.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01Uh they'd show studies that you know the trees get blown around in the winds, what happens to their roots? They they sink deeper, so you've got to let them experience some of it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, Mr. Atkins. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I think one of the main parts of resilience is the ability to be able to bounce back from failure uh when you miss the mark. And a lot of times as a parent, we think in terms of succeed and fail all right, all wrong, or we want to model perfection for our kids, and rather than learning how to bounce back is a skill and and not seeing messing up or missing the mark or failing as the it's the end-all. And so I would say for parents is to not rescue your kids every time, uh, but be there for them, let them experience consequences, but be there for them and teach them how to bounce back, but also model that yourself as a parent. Don't beat yourself up if you've missed the mark. Show them how to course correct. That's a huge, huge skill.
SPEAKER_03Dr. Parker.
SPEAKER_02Well, one thing when we talk about the schools and how we establish those expectations and boundaries um with teaching them about this resilience, teaching them how you bounce back. And sometimes you have to make yourself have these conversations, these tough conversations with the student. You know, yes, you failed, and I'm not going to change that grade because you did not do what you uh told me to do, but I'm t told me that you would do. But I will give you an option, you have to do a credit recovery, and you have to do it well, you have to do it with a teacher, um, and take time to do that because my your education is important to me. But I'm not going to sit and give you what you should earn, but and I'm going to help you meanwhile. So we keep on having those conversations about um raising high expectations. And we just had a principal's meeting the other yesterday, and I was talking to our principals about our children will rise to our expectations. You just have to figure out which expectations you have. You might say, you know what, they're poor, they have all these adverse experiences. I'll just, I will just coddle them and I will just, you know, I'll we'll just do easy stuff. Or will you say, you know what, the only way out of poverty is to have those high expectations and these kids can learn and these kids can do wonderfully in life, but I have to believe that in them, I can give them scaffolding, but I need to call them right here. And it does not matter if they have special needs or they are gifted, they have to be pushed because this is the only way we can respect them and their families to give them the skills they want, they will need to have. Um was that I mean I have the tough love approach approach, you know. I had to I had to struggle when I was younger because my parents just physically, physically could not help me. I had to do everything I needed myself to be where I am. But I had their love and I had their support.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_02And they told me when I get out of high school, I'd better be going to college, I will not be coming back. You know, so I had to do all of this, and probably I'm too independent. But sometimes we have to struggle to be able to get places. And as schools, we have to be able to set those expectations and say, because we love you, we hold you up here. Because that's the only way we can get you out of poverty. So these are hard conversations because as teachers we want to support, we want to catch them, we want to help them. And it's still hard sometimes hard for me, but you have to step back and you have to say, you have to make this decision, and if you fail, you'll just have to recuperate. I'll help you because you're still a kid. But um we have to let them fail, and we have to let them figure out how to get up on their own two feet.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, and that's so true. Uh this next question I want to start with Mr. Atkins. Um, children are consistent consistently influenced by many voices. Um what is the key to using your influence as a parent?
SPEAKER_00I I always use the line, you have to be safer than Google. So as a parent, whenever uh as your kid grows, they're gonna hear terms, they're gonna experience all kinds of things at school, out in the community, and they're not gonna know what's happening or what they heard, and they're gonna find out somewhere. And as a parent, if you're safer than Google, they'll come to you with those terms, with those words, with those situations, and you give them a place to talk with them. You know, our kids are gonna be adults longer than they are kids. And so fostering that space for them to have safe and secure conversations with us to where we don't panic or freak out, but they they know that they're gonna be met with grace, with open arms no matter the topic, and and just gratitude that they came to us rather than going elsewhere. Uh I think that is because right, influence people that influence us are are people that we welcome in our sphere, which means we feel safe, we feel comfortable around them, we admire them.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_00If you want to be in that sphere as a parent, you've got to fit that safe, secure, be a role model for that for them and let them know they can come to you with anything.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Mr. Paul. Yeah, I like that safer than Google. Uh that is where kids go. And there's a study recently showed that some significant majority of kids uh have an AI chatbot that they talk to more than they even talk to their friends, much less their parents. They talk to their friends much more than their parents. And the statistics about dinner tables are pretty abysmal in terms of how many families eat dinner together. And if you can eat dinner together, I think, five times a week as a family or around then, uh, you'll you'll pretty much be raising the future president of the United States, you know, so to speak. It's very powerful the importance of just family time together. Uh, someone said to me before, my old young life leader, his name is Jay Mitlow. And uh I watched Jay uh put his kids together to bed with his wife, Rachel, in 2006. And I didn't know that's what I was doing. I was there for Bible study in his basement. But I watched Junior come downstairs and walk around the room and we sang him a song together, us high schoolers, and then and then Jay sent him off and Rachel put him to bed. And I learned so much in that moment about what life could all be about. And so safer than Google, yes. But even in this as it continued to college, statistics show there too. And the only reason I know these is we hang out with middle schoolers, high schoolers, college students, that's young life. Uh, we're all about the next generation, especially our adolescents, and then raising them to be leaders that can come back in, like the person that escapes the burning building but goes back in because there's more. Well, they show that if if parents can hold on so that when your kids go to college and come back, that they're the safer than Google person at home. They'll hold on to their family ties, they'll hold on to the faith that they left with. You know, how do you keep kids from having the faith crisis in college? You have to be the person they can still talk to when they come back with the hard questions, not put on the face with you and you know, keep boxing out. So I I 100% agree. It's it's ultimately everything in life's about relationships, but you know, I believe that some relationships were ordained to be the most important. That's at home. It's mom, dad, siblings. That's where it's gotta be safer than good. I am stealing that for forever. Yeah, yeah. Dr. Barker.
SPEAKER_02I always say it takes a village to raise a child, and I think it's more than ever prevalent now. It's because humans are social beings, so we'll find a way to belong someplace. And children, you know, our prefrontal cortex is not, you know, mature until we are 25, you know, so our executive functioning is we can we can talk the talk, but when it comes to reacting and acting, you're just going to act by emotions. And with teenagers, social acceptance is the most important thing. Like if their friends uh kind of say we're not friends with you anymore, it literally will feel like a death sentence to a child. Um, and that's unfortunately these are the studies and it's our nature, that's how we, you know, uh work around it. But we have to make sure our children will find somebody to accept them. So do we what do we do being adults who can be in their acceptance circle? You know, we have to make sure that we are those safe adults. You know, in schools, you know, we have to like if a child has one person that they want to can come to. Because like I've read the recent statistic, you know, I think suicide rates in adolescents have risen like by 75%. Like it's just a horrendous statistic. And it's because of the social media, you know, you not only you just see people live all these wonderful lives and you just kind of compare yourself to, you know, to your life and just say, well, it's not worth it. Or, you know, you friend somebody and they start that sex extortion, you know, and they say if you tell your parents, you know, or if you, you know, do anything, you go to police, I will send your nude pictures to everybody else in school, or your parents will find out, or I'll kill your parents. And these children don't feel like they can talk to anybody, and that's the reason that they just they think it's easier to end your life than actually come to your um to an adult that's right you could listen to, be that safe person. And so anywhere, that's why I say village, because parents, community leaders, faith leaders, coaches, teachers, we have to be those adults because if a child could turn just to one person, I think we'll be able to offset some of these horrendous statistics.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, certainly, certainly. Um, and this next question has me kind of move into our next segment specifically for Dr. Barker, um, and preparing children for the success um beyond graduation. But if you could redesign education to a better prepare students for life, what would you change?
SPEAKER_02Well, I I tell my school school principals that when the children, when we work on helping children graduate, we have to we you know, yes, we think about regulations and we think about credits and this and this and everything else. But, you know, we have to think about three the three things. You know, we want to make sure our kids are either employed or they enrolled or they're enlisted. So they should have only these three venues, you know, like they need to be productive in society. And just thinking that we have to prepare them for the society that we don't know what we'll be offering because it's changing so rapidly. Um, the focus needs to be on those uh soft skills. Yeah. Because I need to be able to look you in the eye when I shake your hand when you're graduating. Go and walking across the stage, you know, like and this is tremendous because when they come to you to be employed, you would want them to look you in the eye and shake have a firm handshake. So these little things mean a lot and always say like appearances mean a lot. That's why in our schools we say you have to have schools that are stick and span, because you know, when somebody comes in, they want to see that this is how professional building looks. And our teachers need to be dressed up because this is how a professional looks. So you kind of you have to teach this and show this because some of our children don't see it at home. And they need to be able to have a form of a reference. Um, career technical education is huge for me. Um, just making sure that we, you know, put more and more of that career awareness as early as we can, you know. So we have we are working hard to add more programs to our career and technical um center here in Welch. We are working to put more of that awareness and more of those things into the middle school. And it needs to start with elementary because they need to be able to just see these are the different careers. Because, like, we don't, as educators, like I don't know what's out there. So, but they need to be able to bring somebody from the outside and just say, okay, talk to us about this. Like, for example, a couple years ago, uh we were talking to this aviation company, and they were saying, you know how many jobs the aviation industry can have? There's catering that's just specific for aviation. There, you know, of course, there are mechanics stewardesses, but there's whole just computer and you know engineering part to the aviation. So, like you don't know what's out there until you start talking to people. So we have to be able to prepare children, and even if they they say, I wanna want to go to college, 45% of our students go to college, which is a tremendous gem from previous years, but fifty-five they're not. So, what do we do to give them the trade? Help them be successful. They might not use it for their life, but they can still fall back on it, you know, not fall back, they can use it as they grow and just become somet something else. So we just want to give our students as many opportunities to try different things so that when they get to that graduation stage, they can have an idea, yes, this is what I want to do, and this is what I'm prepared to do as well.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. And this kind of leads me right into my next one, Mr. Paul. How can parents help children discover their gifts and talents, which is so important?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, I I can use the analogy. I love we have a guitar club at Riverview High, and that's been super life-giving for the kids there. And we did it for 10th to 12th grade last year, and uh they had you know 30, maybe 40 individual kids through the year go. And I'd always talk to them because they want a guitar to play at home, and I said, Well, you need to find something because you you can't learn an instrument that you don't have access to. And so, like, one thing for a parent to allow kids to grow those parts of their life is you gotta get them out. You gotta go find what they're curious about, you gotta go curious with your own children. Uh one of the biggest reported things that parents had about kids for a long time is that kids wouldn't get off their screens. The tables have turned. Now the biggest reported thing that kids have about parents is that the parents won't get off the screens. And so the question is, is the screen a pacifier for the kids or are they a pacifier for us? Um and so I I think, you know, to be able to go out and experience the arts and go to a concert, go to experience national parks or even state-level parks. You have Logan, you have R.D. Bailey, you go visit those, the splash pads, all the things that tax funds are already paying for already. Go out there and go do those. And you really have to be a social, like you're saying, we're a social creature. You have to go out there and be a golden retriever and just get to know some people and you'll watch your kids come alive. I have four kids uh age six, eight, ten, twelve, and all four of them are different. Yeah. Which means that, you know, they say, you know, love is a four-letter word spelled T-I-M-E for kids. I need to spend time with my kids. My wife spends time with our kids. We take them on dates to learn individually what's what's life all about for my little girls or for my little boys. So it's it's a time thing. You have to be genuinely curious, you know, with your kids or with even let's zoom out a little bit, not just your biological kids. I'm in a a pear church ministry called Young Life, and we we have an ultimate goal that that's that's based on faith, but we have we don't have any ulterior motives. Uh we love kids, and it it they can't be um an ends or means to an end. Right. Like they are the ends themselves. We have to be genuinely curious about kids and help them develop, if that makes sense. We yeah, they're not something around which we build a program. They're everything. Yeah. And so if they are everything, you sit down, take time, you listen, you give them opportunity to go explore or go to the beach or go to a music thing, and you're listening, uh, and then you're away from technology enough where they're bored, you know, we're not pacifying ourselves with a scroll. Um, you know, I I think you develop those natural curiosities. The best thing for little kids a lot of time is just put them outside and see what they get into.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Mr. Atkins.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I I would really say what Paul was saying, as far as you getting to know your kid, getting to know what they're interested in. Listen to them, not placing what you think they should be interested in, but but listening to and see what gives them energy, see what they light up about, and and I mean, be willing to learn about new things. Things that you're not interested in, but you're interested in your kids. So you you learn about it, like you read, you watch, you do as much. Even if they are on the iPad, what are you watching? Like, can I watch it with you? Like, and and just and don't like knock it and and you know, talk about how it's different from what you would watch, but like get to know your child as an individual. I I think, yeah, that would be what I would recommend.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah. And with this last question within this segment, uh starting uh, I really want Mr. Atkins' point of view on this, with the lack of ambition among young people, how do parents instill ambition?
SPEAKER_00If uh I believe if you're looking to instill ambition, you have to show uh kids what to be ambitious for. Uh if if you've never been exposed to to different things, if you've never been exposed to pictures of places to go travel to, you're and you're never gonna think to go travel there. Um what colleges, homes that you want to live in, jobs, if you've not been exposed to to things, you're not just not gonna know what to dream for. Um and so it does take extra work, extra effort to tell them hop in the car and go drive around different communities, different areas, look at different buildings, talk about different jobs. Um again, look at different pictures of different places they may want to travel, and you never know what ideas they may come up with for your area, even that that ends up being the one, the spark plug that changes everything in the community because you drove them around and just was asking, like, what do you think this place could be? And you stir that dream part of their mind.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, Mr. Paul. I mean, just on top of that, and just you know, modeling it ourselves and be ambitious about the things that matter. And you know, we always talk about, you know, in the young life world, we'll say that everyone's after three things identity, belonging, and purpose. So identity is who am I, belonging is whose am I, and purpose is why am I. And and if we're not working on those things as adults, as a lifelong project, um, then I think it'd be tough for us to expect those things out of our kids. Yeah. Yeah. So if if we're if we're working on the the core of ourselves, our identity, our belonging, if we're not having healthy friendships and purpose, then it'd be tough to expect our kids to do much different. Yeah. Dr. Barker, do you have a response?
SPEAKER_02Um when we look at our students, and one of I just always think about one word, which is hope. And sometimes we don't see that light, that hope in their eyes. So like you have to think, how can I help them get that hope back? And like Paul and I were talking previously, you know, about the math achievement three review, and he was like, I'm so excited for my kids to go because we have, you know, two true just three amazing teachers there, they're just just rocking and rolling. And I told him, I said, you know, you will see our results were just tremendous from the state testing this year. And not only it was because I was excited, but you're excited because the kids are excited. The kids see that yes, they have potential, they believe in themselves, you know, that I can do these things. Because many times coming out of a small community, and I grew up in a very small community, very disadvantaged, and people look down upon me, you know. Every time I would say where I was from, you know, it did not matter if I was making ACE, if I was intelligent, you know, like they would just completely dismiss me. And that's what you see in our kids. They will just hang their heads low, and you know, you have to tell them, you be proud. Because you're probably the most resilient kids in the state to get through the troubles and challenges and tribulations that our kids go through, but they don't see it, you know, they don't see that this is a strength. I survived all these things. And like, how do we get that hope? You know, how do you show them you are capable, you know, you can do this. So, and like example with mathematics, like this is what I want to keep on igniting in our students. Like, we can, we can do, we can do tremendous things. We can be the president of the United States if we want to, you know. Yeah, and sharing our stories like this, because you know, on our Facebook page we promote, like these are our graduates, these are the people who became um nurses, pharmacists, doctors, you know, welders. You know, like they need to see that we have people that have done tremendous things coming out of our schools, be our own stories, you know. Like we came out of nothing and we made something out of ourselves, and just sharing this and saying it is possible, you know, like you just need to just keep on having that island of prize.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, and this kind of leads us right into our last segment, but supporting mental health and and building resilience. Uh, and I'm starting with Mr. Atkins, as kids grown into their teenage years, how do parents not overlook their kids but without adding unrealistic expectations?
SPEAKER_00I I would lean into some of our earlier answers in that uh before you become a parent, you have all these ideas and expectations of what it's gonna be like. Typically, if you played a sport, you just imagine I'm gonna be a coach and I'm gonna coach my kid in that sport, and then you have a kid. They don't like that sport. They don't like any sports maybe, or or they're more or they want to play an instrument, but you don't know how to play an instrument. And what do I do now? How do I course-correct with my expectations? Because I had this whole picture of what I thought it was gonna be, and so many times we cling more to our expectations and to what we thought it was gonna be or what we think it should be, rather than again lean into our children, see where they are, see what they enjoy, love them where they are, get to know them where they are, and adjust our expectations accordingly, and then and then do that together. Like do that together, work with your your child again, have that relationship, sit at the table, talk, you know, give them a space where there's no wrong answers for a few minutes, you know, and you just like again adjusting what the future looks like together is what I would say. Adjust it to your specific child.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, Mr. Paul. That answer resonates with me a lot. Uh, I think coming from the world of of you know youth mentoring, if you think of young life, it's one thing, um, it's it's you know, youth mentoring and at the at its core. And the idea that adults would live vicariously, unaware, through the lives of kids in their most developmentally vulnerable state, can be tragic. And whether we know it or not, often that's what happens. And it's because we're not often aware of our motivations, or maybe we have a deadline or a report that we have to write about what's about to happen, and so we end up, you know, you use kids vicariously, um, you know, as a teacher to get numbers up or as a coach to get the ball across the line. So I get it, there there seems to be some tactical issues why that just seems to happen sometimes, but at its core, we we can't miss out on the individuals. Yeah. And it so my point in saying it is we're not gonna hit it perfect. There's gonna be times where they're gonna have to dance to our song. That's true. Right. But to what you're saying, are we listening, are we listening to theirs? Yeah. I think it's vitally important. Yeah. That makes me want to go home and see my kids in about a half hour. Yeah. Yeah. And just be still and hear what they want to say. Yeah. Yeah. Very true, very true.
SPEAKER_03Um, and so in this last question, I want everybody's um opinion on this, uh, because I feel like this is very vital, uh, especially in this stage, um, that oftentimes that we can overlook. Um, but really starting with Mr. Atkins, what are warning signs that a child may be struggling with their mental health and how should parents respond?
SPEAKER_00I would look for one of the the major signs is like loss and interest in activities that, especially activities that once interested them. But also uh when they just start to withdraw, more so uh as a teenager, you're trying to figure it all out anyway. And I always joke with parents, I'm like, I know we always talk about rebellion as like a bad thing, but you kind of want a little bit of if you want a little bit of rebellion in your kids, you just gotta guide it, or else they're gonna like live at your house forever. Like you want them to be able to go out and like build their own thing, make their own thing. It just needs guided. So there's gonna be some withdrawal there, but keep your eye on the amount of time that they're withdrawing, that they're isolating. Uh, you really want to watch for that isolation, loss of interest. Um if if what is interesting, like their interests shift towards darker, what we would say, kind of objectively darker topics and things, and they start to again go in more into themselves. Um and again, don't be afraid to go in and be like, hey, like what like what's going on? No judgment. Because you like above what's right and what's wrong, you want to know your kid, and you need to know where they are, and so I would I would really pay attention to those that withdrawn loss of interests.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, Mr.
SPEAKER_01Paul. I would say too, there's a flip side of it. You don't often maybe get that at home. I guess I'll find out as my kids raise up in adolescence, but sometimes the over-exuberant, everything's great.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Everything's great. And just nothing, they're Teflon, they're they're nothing but smiles, and that's all you get out of them. Sometimes that's where that relationship of time, the trust, all those things, the community of care that takes a village, where someone's gonna get a foothold in to hear, what'd you say was happening with, you know, this or that in your life? Like, tell me more. Because sometimes that's the easiest way to deal with a mental health thing is just to pretend like it's not there when you're in public. And so you wouldn't notice they're withdrawn because it seems like they're doing better than ever. And so it's not always the case. And hopefully we should have a lot of happy kids. But but it's good to listen maybe with some some tuned-in, you know, as adults. Hopefully they're okay, but sometimes you want to listen extra close, or especially sometimes we've noticed if a kid has a total swing in their friendships, just a whole new friend group. Like, and especially if it's almost seemingly unaffected, um, then sometimes there's some more below the surface to find out how they're doing. Yeah. Dr. Barker.
SPEAKER_02I think that's where partnership with between the educators and the parents is so vital because we had many different cases where a child would just go to a council and they would just open up. Like they parents never suspected it as just a huge shock shock to the parent. But you know, we try to work through this with them so that we can provide that help for the child. And it becomes a little bit, you know, challenging because sometimes parents feel like that, oh, I have not done my job because you know they cannot open up to me. To me, it's they have opened up to somebody, let's just give them help, let's let's just get them to the place. And just trying to get as much as much education to the parents, you know, because like what kids do, especially grandparents, because we have so many children that are raised not by a parent, you know, but a grandparent or an aunt and uncle who have raised their child grandchildren, they don't even know what you know Instagram is.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Um, and just the dangers that are coming through from this, and you know, making sure, you know, you are your child's sleeping patterns affected, you know, because some of them sleep with that one, you know, earbud in their ear because they want to be so just in the midst with their friends and sleep, like everybody else will say, sleep is important, especially for the teenagers. But when you have just that secretiveness, you know, when they start, you know, just kind of pulling away from you and really just in their little world, you have to start digging, you know, without sacrificing that trust, but you have to start digging, you have parental controls that you need to use wisely, you know, because you can use technology to help you out. But that collaboration and partnership with the educators, like we are not here to get you, we are here because we genuinely love your children, we're not here to make billions of dollars in education. Yeah, um, and we want to work with you as partners because we have the same goal, the well-being of a child.
SPEAKER_03Yeah, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, very good advice. Well, I have thoroughly enjoyed this panel. Um, and as we come to a close to our very first uh live, I want to say sincerely thank you to each and every one of our panelists uh for sharing your time and wisdom and perspectives with us tonight. And I'd also like to thank everyone who joined us here. And if you're watching from home, your support has made everything possible for this evening, and we greatly appreciate it. Our hope has always been that conversations like these do more than inform, they inspire action, encourage understanding, and bring people together. While tonight's discussions may be over, the work of strengthening our families, supporting our communities, and investing in the next generation continues long after we leave here. As we wrap this up, a special thank you to the Little Grill and Chill for hosting this this evening, to our sponsors, local businesses for their support, and to everyone who worked behind the scenes to make this first live event a reality. Thank you. This maybe have been our first Next Gym Patriots live event, but it certainly won't be our last. Thank you for spending your evening with us. If you enjoyed tonight's conversations, be sure to follow us on Next Gym Patriots on our Facebook and YouTube, and share this broadcast with someone else. And stay tuned for future episodes and live events. I'm your host, Brock Jackson, and sincerely I thank you guys so much for joining us. And until next time, God bless, and we'll see you guys in the next one.