Ep. 12 - The Side Effects Nobody Talks About

Cancer recovery comes with a hidden toll that standard medical pamphlets rarely mention. Understanding the full scope of treatment aftermath is crucial for patients trying to navigate life after active medical interventions end. We welcome back Nicole Foote, a dedicated board member of Hope Cancer Resources, to share her first-hand experience with the highly personal and unexpected side effects of oncology treatments.

We sit down to unpack the day-to-day reality of long-term recovery, shedding light on the frustrating symptoms that often get left out of polite conversation. The discussion covers critical lifestyle impacts like unpredictable digestive disruptions, intense skin-to-skin sensitivity, the sudden loss of nose hairs, and medically induced early menopause. Nicole shares her unique perspective on how learning to lean into physical discomfort actually builds long-term resilience for the years ahead.

The long-term effects on physical health can persist for years after ringing the treatment bell, deeply impacting everything from simple travel plans to daily sleep schedules. Viewers will walk away with a vital mindset shift focused on practicing self-grace while learning how to actively build an open, supportive community around their ongoing recovery needs.

If you care about patient community support, navigating post-treatment challenges, and finding practical recovery strategies, you will get a lot from this conversation. Please remember to subscribe to the channel and share this episode with anyone who needs to hear it. What unexpected lesson has your own health journey taught you about personal resilience?

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:05

Hey there and welcome to Hope Unscripted, a podcast of Hope Cancer Resources. I'm Jamie Dietrich and I'm Brittany Harman, and we're so glad you're here. Now let's talk about hope, healing, and the journey unscripted. Welcome back to Hope Unscripted, a podcast of Hope Cancer Resources.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

We're here today with the fabulous Nicole Foote and Brittany Harmon as my co-host. And just want to preface with a little disclaimer for today. Today's content might be just a bit graphic. We're going to dive into some of the symptoms or more specifically side effects of cancer that you may or may not know about. And Nicole's going to help us out with that. So with that, Brittany, do you have anything you want to add?

SPEAKER_01 0:52

I was going to say our last episode about chemo brain, even having that conversation, we did realize there's so many other side effects that people don't talk about on a daily basis because they can be awkward or embarrassing or frustrating. And we don't want people to feel like you're going through that alone. So Nicole is going to share some of her side effects with us and go from there. So let's roll.

SPEAKER_00 1:15

Okay, let's do it. Well, Nicole, oftentimes when we think of I've been diagnosed with cancer and things that come to mind, right? Yeah. Fatigue and hair loss. And it are kind of some of the most symptom, you know, most specific. Um, maybe nausea is another one that I hear a lot. Yeah. So let's take that and build. And I'm just going to turn you loose. Oh boy. Um, well, I want to, I'm going to preface this and saying I am not a medical expert. I am not a doctor. Although if I was a doctor, I'd be Dr. Foot, which would um, but uh, and and these are the things I experience, right? Like as I've talked to a lot of people that have been through various different types of cancer, everyone's journey is different. Um, and so today is just what I experienced. And I I made myself a note of the top things that I don't think people realize, but joint pain, touching of the skin. So like sensitivity to skin, um, nose hairs. Oh, I want to talk about the importance of your nose hairs and how you don't realize that until you go through it. Um, brain fog. I I thought the the episode on brain fog was so spot on. Mouth sores, um, cramping and pooping would be the things. Those would be the seven um that I would kind of bundle up as things that people don't think about the most. Okay. I didn't know you made us a list. I, you know, I was like, I was out in Nashville with mom and I was like, you know what we gotta do? We gotta start writing things down because I didn't want to forget. Oh, that's part of the brain fog thing.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Six shopping. Just write it down. Just write it down so you don't forget. Was there ever a time during some of these symptoms you're like, surely this is not normal?

SPEAKER_00 2:54

Yes. Um, and I I will I um I feel like a 12-year-old boy sometimes when I talk about pooping because I just kind of start laughing. It's not like it's not the thing you walk up and you're just like, girlfriends, let me tell you. Yeah. Um but that was one for me where I was like, there is no way in any world that this is normal. Yeah. Um, when you're going through chemo and even after chemo, that your body continues you eat, you poop, you eat, you poop. And it it it doesn't um it doesn't seem to have a a a time of day or a number of times a day. It just it's it happens.

SPEAKER_01 3:32

It's gonna happen.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Um, and you know, it it happens um at times where you cannot necessarily control the urge. And so you find yourself like running to the restroom. Um, and again, that's not stuff you just you know sitting at table meso with your girlfriends. You don't bring up as a conversation starter. So um We don't talk about that over cocktails. No, no, no. We don't go alone for half the hour and and and and talk about um our our bowel movements at the rate of which a school boy and so poop is just a normal conversation in the house at this point. Exactly. I guess the funny thing is. Exactly. So um it's it's kind of turned into a a little bit of a a little bit of a joke and something quite frankly that I'm way more comfortable talking about than I ever was. Like I never was the girl that would talk about it. And now it's like, guys, look, I gotta go. And it's like, here we go again. Um so I think that's that's definitely one of the the the biggest ones that I didn't realize. Um I didn't realize that skin sensitivity would be something that would continue for so long. Um at night, in particular, for me, it's really it still is really bad. I sleep with a sheet between my legs because I can't stand for my legs to touch at night. Um, when they do touch, it creates this massive burning sensation. And it's all over your body. It's all it is targeted. Yeah. Yeah, it's all over. So like even if I laid with my arm, um, like right now is not as bad, but uh night is really bad. And so you'll often see like in meetings and stuff, I constantly am like moving my legs, and it's just because the sensitivity of the the touch, um, skin to skin sometimes creates a little uncomfort discomfort. That's still, I'm sorry, but that's still today. Still, yeah. And that's the part of it though. Like I just don't think, um I don't think we do a good enough job talking about it's like just because you're done, just because you rang the bell, just because you walked away, just because you hit your five-year mark, your body still hasn't flushed all the the the bad out. Um, and so you're still you still have those moments. Um, I had really bad joint pain. Um, and I I was like, oh my God, like I'm gonna break a bone. It hurts so bad. The joint pain's got better over the years, but it's still there. Like my wrists are probably where I have it the worst. My wrists and my ankles. Um, and it just aches. Did you keep it to yourself or did you get to the point where you were like, I have to talk to a doctor about this?

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Yeah, I understand what is physically causing this.

SPEAKER_00 5:56

So it's a pooping front, I finally broke. Like, and and it was actually because of foot. He was like, We cannot continue to try to have vacations and drive places, and you constantly need a restroom. Um, so I I mean, I I was very open, and and there are there, you know, obviously there's all kinds of drugs on the market that you can take um that can help. But they were very honest. They're like, this is just part of what you're going through. Um, and it's gonna take years for your body to flush things. And once things flush, it'll get better. So I just keep waiting for the day, you know, that things are fully flushed. Um, we talked about the joint pain. Um, and uh they gave me a cream that that helps um a little bit. But you know, you get to that other side of it and you don't want to take pills anymore. You don't want to take medicine, you just kind of want your body to figure things out. So um we did talk about quite a bit of it. Okay. So kind of backing up to the pooping.

SPEAKER_01 6:52

Oh, back to pooping. Yes, back to pooping.

SPEAKER_00 6:54

So was it specific things you would eat? Is it everything you eat? And then kind of day-to-day life too. Like you talked a little bit about that with travel, but you've mentioned to me before, like you and your husband would go out to eat. Yeah. And it's like, okay, we've got to wait now because can't go home yet. Yeah, yeah. Um, no, it it the food doesn't matter. Um, and trust me, I've tried. Like I can go to McDonald's or I can go to Kava or wherever in the middle. Um, it it doesn't seem to matter. And it's just because of all the toxins that my body's experienced. And yeah, whatever it is, the clean eating, yeah, it does it doesn't matter. None of that matters. None of that matters. No, just real it just kind of flushes. Yeah, that it literally flushes. It literally just flushes right through. That is so um, because it, you know, your body needs to retain so much, but um, but yeah, the cramping, um, I have really bad cramps on my legs and my feet at night. Um, and so a lot of that is from just the sodium not necessarily sticking within my body. So I do sometimes take there's like this little sodium thing that you can buy over the counter. And sometimes if it's really bad, um, I'll take one of those, and that seems to finish. You'll just take a shot of pickle juice. Yeah, you know, I guess I could. Um, but I'm too busy taking shots of other things. I'll like to add frequently my sister to be a grandma's whole thing was just take a shot of pickle juice. Yeah. Um, so I'm curious. Uh, tell us about this nose hair situation. Yeah. Yeah. You lose your hair. Because think about you would not listen, people shave those things because they like get up and they they annoyed, but you don't think or know the importance of your dang nose hairs until they're not there anymore. Um thought about losing them. I, for about two and a half years, I think it was, constantly had a runny nose and could not figure out why. I'm like, I'm not sick. And then I asked the doctor, and they're like, Well, you don't have any nose hairs. I'm like, oh, I'm holding it. Oh shit. Yeah, I guess that makes sense now. Like, there's nothing there to like stop it. So it like I was constantly like having to rub my nose or blow my nose. Um, and I finally I got a red dot at the bot at the like on the tip from constantly rubbing it. And so I would joke that I was Rudolph's red nose reign here for a while. But yeah, you you're not you just don't think. And you know, people in that particular time of of life, um, COVID was happening. And so nobody wants to be around somebody with a running. No, literally no one. And I'm like, I can't help it. Like, there's nothing. You don't know as it's running, you just don't know it. Um was it painful too?

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Like I can think about, you know, just there's nowhere to stop a bugger from coming out.

SPEAKER_00 9:38

No, no, there's there's nothing stopping anything from coming out. Um, if anything, Brittany, it tickled um because it was like the trickle, you know, and some sometimes it would, it would, it would tickle a little. But that was one for me. I was like, literally put this in a pamphlet. Like put this in a freaking appreciate your nose hairs. Appreciate listen, appreciate those nose hairs more than you you do today, you know, eyelashes, eyebrows. Again, things you don't think about. It's all hair. Yeah, and it all goes away. I've seen the eyelashes and eyebrows, but the nose hair is one thing I have literally never thought about.

SPEAKER_01 10:10

Yeah, yeah, because she's ever talked about that. That's crazy. Yeah. Well, so I know we talked a little bit about your skin irritation. Do you have really bad dry skin also? Is that a constant problem?

SPEAKER_00 10:21

So I did during radiation. Okay. And probably for like the la uh the six months after radiation. So the ladies at Highlands um recommended a lotion and they were like, you want to do this every uh like twice a day, especially as you go through your radiation and then keep it afterwards. And so um on my actual spot where the radiation was, for a long time there was a nasty like red rash. Um, that's going away now. Um, and I don't have a ton of dry, like I wouldn't say my skin is drier than what it normally was pre-cancer, um, afterwards, but I I credit it to the lotion that those ladies recommended. Well, and your legs are very tan from your vacation. Yeah, that was white bag.

SPEAKER_01 11:02

I've heard of some people, they just don't tan afterwards, they just burn and then it's just miserable.

SPEAKER_00 11:06

So I don't tan um as well as I once did. Like I used to be able to the girl that could sit on the beach for eight hours a day and just be perfectly fine. And now I have to be much more cautious. Umbrella, I bring my sunscreen. Um, I can sit there for maybe an hour. Um, and after that I I layer up really good. Yeah. Um just uh Dr.

SPEAKER_01 11:26

Book, when we had her on, she said a lot of cancer patients don't realize you're at such an increased risk of skin cancer in that because your skin changes so much. So yeah, that's crazy. Yep. What about your nails?

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yeah. Um, so going through the treatment, etc., um, they become very, very frail. Um, and so like you've got beautiful nails, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:49

Um okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:52

Well, you've got beautiful fake nails, both of you. Um, but I keep mine cut really short because more often than not, they crack. Yeah. They're very brittle. Um now collagen helps tremendously, right? And I I take a lot of collagen throughout the course of the day, but um very frail. I don't paint my nails a lot anymore for that reason. Um, just because, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to impact the nail bed, if you will. And so um I keep them short. I I saw a a pod, another podcast, a TikTok actually, um, of uh Nikki Hilton the other day. And she was like, I'm in my no-nail polish air. And I was like, that's what I need that to become a thing. Let's turn it. Yeah, like yeah, I'm excited for the no-nail polish. Like, still go get your manicure, still get your pedicure, but let's let's embrace no polish air. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

So no, it's like a security blanket for my fake ones. I get it. That and I'm a biter. Oh, so do your fingernails hurt? Because I've heard that sometimes too, like between the fingertips and like your nail beds having sensitivity.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

Yeah, any pain. No, I I wouldn't say I I have pain and I don't remember having um I don't remember having that pain. Um again, that's the that's the crazy thing about this, is like you can call 17 people and 17 people are gonna tell you they had different things. Um, and I think a lot of times people are looking that like, well, if you experience it, I'm gonna experience it, or like, why didn't you tell me I was gonna experience this? And it truly is because it's it's different for everybody and it's what's your body need at that moment or what's it going through, and then you know it's the maintenance that you're doing as well throughout that. Yeah. So no, thank goodness, no nail pain. So you listed your seven. Yeah, me and I did a little research. Okay, you got more with a list of what we're calling weird to side effects. Okay. So I'm gonna read them off. All right, and then with some of them we talked about, but we'll dig in here. So food tasted different, yeah, water tasted strange, yeah, mouth sores, neuropathy, tingling fingers or toes, cold sensitivity, muscle cramps, dry mouth, ringing in your ears, and hair growing back differently. So you pick where we want to dive into this one. Well, we can do uh bottom up. So my hair came back completely different. Um, I I always had very blonde, like the blonde color that women want that I pay for. Yeah. But I didn't have to pay for it. Yeah. Um, I also had very straight hair, very thin hair. Um, I'll have to find a picture you guys can use. It came back as a poof ball. Like my mom and dad called me their little poof ball because it was like just this fuzzy mess. Um, and I I loved it, but it was also very um textured. And huge shout out to Rex uh over at he's the owner of Adam Capital Capital of Rex. Yeah, he's the owner over at Capital Saloons. Uh, but he he helped me get my hair back. Like he would, he was very patient with it. Um, he explained to me how it's the when the baby hairs grow, they just kind of don't know what to do. And so we went through that. And and I remember sitting in his chair over at the Rogers Salon the day he was like, okay, we finally are through all the baby hair. And like now, this is going to be your your hair. Um, and now it's it's much fuller. Um, it's so thick. It it is. Trust me, it's it's much thicker than what it was. Um, it requires more maintenance, which I don't know that I love. Um Rex loves it. He he does a terrific job with it. Uh he he keeps it in control. But yeah, the the hair is is completely different. Um, okay. The other one was cold ringing in your ears. No, I don't think you had much ringing in the ears. Let's bounce to the cold. Uh cold sensitivity. Yeah, so no, um, I have zero cold sensitivity um because I was forced into pre-menopause and then menopause. And let me pause and say, hug your mama, ladies, because if you're not there yet, you will gain a totally new appreciation for what women go through. And I love that it's a topic of conversation now. Like we are talking about pre-menopause and and menopause at the way we are in the world. It's not fun. I used to love the heat. The heat was my jam. Like, give me the weather we're having right now in northwest Arkansas all day. Now, I want to move to Montana. I want to live in the highest mountain. I want it to be too um, I the the the heat is just really, really hard now. Um, I don't have I would love to be cold. I get excited when I am cold. Um, so I I didn't have that. But the the menopause side effects are they're real, yeah, you know, and um we went through a stent probably about eight months where every single morning I was changing our sheets because I sweat so much with the hot flashes, um, you know, sitting in meetings and you can feel it building on your face. Um super uncomfortable uh in that in that space.

SPEAKER_01 17:10

Do you worry or have you struggled with heat exhaustion now that it is hot outside and going on top?

SPEAKER_00 17:15

Not yet, but that's because I I try really, really hard um to not spend extended periods of time. So years ago, um, we when my parents had their 40th wedding anniversary, we threw them a party and I had I was like on teetering to having um heat heat exhaustion. Yeah. And so I kind of know like where my limit is. And so I try really hard. I try really hard not to get there.

SPEAKER_01 17:40

Well, and once you have that once and hit that heat exhaustion, it comes back so much easier too, and you can really put permanent damage on your body.

SPEAKER_00 17:48

So yeah. Yeah. So I I try really, really hard to limit my time outside. You know, like we're we've got a pool party on Saturday, and I'm gonna I'll be in the pool for a while and I'll be inside for a while and I'll go back and forth. Um, and people don't pick up on it, but it's because it's what I need to do. Yeah, wow. Okay. Now you mentioned on your list mouth sores, and that's on my list too. Mouth sores into that. Mouth sores are painful, and brutal. The best way to describe a mouth sore would be think about getting a cold sore on your lip, but put it on your tongue or the side of your cheek or the upper part of your mouth, and then under your tongue. Yeah, exactly. Then it's a fascination of what's that? Yeah, like can I pop it? Is it gonna go away? And you can't, I mean, you can put a breva, but then that's like disgusting. And so I had a really hard time with mouth sores. Um, we used the mouthwash that helped, um, so they didn't get infected and things like that. But they just there was no rhyme or reason to them. Um honestly, if there's one side effect that was the worst, it was probably the mouth sores. And that was because there's just then you can't talk, you can talk, but you're in pain and and you can eat, but you're not enjoying what you're eating. Yeah. Um, so that was the mouth sores were really bad. Um, so I've heard a few people request children's toothpaste because they can tolerate it much easier than normal adult crisp or whatever people use. So was that the case for you too? I don't remember using kid toothpaste. I must have missed the memo on that. I've heard that that's that's just heard that recently. Yeah, yeah, patient. So yeah, so maybe it does work. Um hopefully no more mouth sores in my future.

SPEAKER_01 19:26

So and I've heard it too for the tooth sensitivity, too. The children's toothpaste is just a little bit easier, a little bit easier. Because sometimes the adults, I mean, I'm guilty. I mean, you can get those whitening ones, and you will even burn the anxiety or mouth if you're not careful. So yeah, yeah, for sure. What what's with the water straight tasting strange? I've heard the food. Yeah, and that one made more sense to me, but the water is interesting.

SPEAKER_00 19:46

I don't know what it was, but I I had that water, it actually everything. Yeah, um, you know, I grabbed a lifesaver coming in, and even lifesavers tasted different. Like I went through a lot of peppermint, life savers, lifesavers, and ginger candy because that helps with the nausea. Um, but everything just tasted different. Different. Um, I, you know, in that vein, what became what became my go-to, what became my thing was ice cream. Yeah. Ice cream. Um, and now I dream about ice cream. I can think about ice cream. I go through a lot of ice cream. Um, Brett laughs because I'm always like, hey, you know, let's go to Sam's and Springdale. And then we can start my handles on the drive back up. Like, what's your favorite ice cream? Uh I am a sucker for that orange dreamsickle they have. Um, but also all ice cream is is equal in my mind. Just give me the ice cream. Yeah. Yeah. So um through chemo, I went through a lot of ice cream. Like it was the one thing because it I think it was the cold. Yeah. So it helped any of the sore, any of the sores in my mouth. Um, and it just, I don't know, wildly enough for me, it felt like it settled better than a full-long meal. What was the one symptom like we've talked about?

SPEAKER_01 21:03

And was there one specific through like no one zone-gowned me about this, and I would have believed it.

SPEAKER_00 21:10

Um probably honestly, the pooping. Yeah. If I'm being completely transparent with you, I think that too. I think I could sit in a room full of profess professional experts in this space, and I would never in my life believe that your body at some point doesn't revert back to the ability to process food in a normalized way. Um and and again, there are there are pills you can take, and and kudos to people that that choose to do that. But it still just comes right back. So it talked about pooping a lot. Was there anything with urination in that too? No, no, I wouldn't say anything in that space. It truly is more um It's just your body flushing it out, yeah. Kicking flushing nonstop. Shout out to Sherman again. I haven't really Random question. Okay. So earlier you talked about you take collagen and it helps with your nails and your skin. Are there any other supplements? And again, not medical advice, just specifically that maybe helped you. Yeah. So collagen was a definitely a big one. I also take um uh fish oil. Yeah. And I I've I've seen a lot of positive benefits from that for my joints and stuff. And then I also take what is it? It's like uh it's an actual joint osteo something, maybe. Um, but it's this massive white pill, like a glucosamine or something um that kind of helps just with um your joints, muscles, etc. Like rebuilding those parts. Yeah. Um, and those are that's really it. Um, you know, I tried to focus, I I try to stay hydrated. Um, that's important. Um, but I try not to swing too hard to liquid IB because while I love Liquid IB, like you shouldn't drink it in every drink. Yeah. Um so finding that that balance there. But I've had a lot of success with um those types of things. I have not found anything that really, you know, I would shout from the rooftops helps with um the the hot flashes. Um and there's nothing that eliminates mouth sores that I've found um or you know, at that time would would eliminate them.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

Do you still have mouth sores pop up from time to time? Nope.

SPEAKER_00 23:20

Okay, good. One more down. I finished chemo. That's that's that one's gone away.

SPEAKER_01 23:26

Okay. So we're talking about fatigue now, too. Like everybody gets tired, right? Yeah. But it's more that's an intense fatigue. Yeah.

unknown 23:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

How quickly does it set on when you're doing things? And is that something you still struggle with?

SPEAKER_00 23:40

I definitely still struggle with the fatigue. Um, I think I've got really good at hiding it.

unknown 23:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:45

Um, and I'm I'm trying to not be good at hiding it. I'm trying to like, you know, as I I tell my story and try to bring others along, I'm trying to get better at saying, I'm tired. I just need to sit or say no to things. You guys know I struggle to say no to anything, you know. Say no, hardly. Um, so I'm I'm trying to get better to that. But yeah, I, you know, sometimes the simplest of tasks, especially through chemo and radiation, the simplest of tasks would just exhaust me. And and, you know, for work, we would have these big national sales meetings or conferences and conventions and things, and I would just have to go to bed or sit um more than what I normally would. And even now, like I I need eight to nine hours of sleep. And I need it because that's the only way that I can truly power through the next day physically, mentally, emotionally. Um, it all takes a massive toll. So the fatigue is a is a huge thing. The other huge thing is just, um, and I mentioned this last time is just the heart rate, right? So my my heart rate is out of this world. Um, and I have to know when to stop. Um, and you know, the amazing thing about the coaches and the members over at Dual Cities is they get it. All right. And so it's it's not like it's a thing. It's not like, oh, Nicole's slacking off. It's like, no, she just her heart rate's like 189 right now, folks. She needs to catch her breath. Like she's she'll be back, but just give her a minute. Yeah. What 189 feels like. Yeah, it doesn't feel good. I won't lie. When I push myself, like working out, whether it be strength training or recently I decided to run.

SPEAKER_01 25:13

I don't know why. But don't she? That was you know, she got a wild hair. No, those wild things that did. Um, but I only got my heart rate up to like 173. Yeah. You know, like and I felt like, okay, I'm gonna take a break and let it come down and then go on. So I just I can't imagine.

SPEAKER_00 25:29

Yeah. And and you know, a lot of people, um, it's easy to say, well, just control your heart rate. I would love to, which I could. I would absolutely love for someone to tell me how to keep my heart rate while I'm working out at the same as what it is right now. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but you know, within that, I've also I've learned how to embrace the discomfort. And I think that being able to embrace that discomfort is helping me. I tell myself, it's helping me for the long term, right? So when I'm 55, I can embrace things like that a little differently. And when I'm 60, I can embrace it because I've I've weathered that heart rate journey, if you will. So, our last podcast episode, we had Shauna, that's our lead counselor at Whole Cancer Resources on, and we talked about chemo brain and how it's not Joe has patients going through chemo and kind of what that means and really overarching just about the brain fog. I know you mentioned that too. So I'd love to hear from someone who's been through it, kind of your experience with that, what you did to kind of help it, you know, help and combat it in a way. Yeah, I remember early on, um, I had a complete utter breakdown because I had always been the person I could, I could read an email, I could read a deck, I could read a text, I could join a meeting, I could pick it up, I remembered it. And people would make fun of me. They're like, How do you absorb all this? And I remember early on sitting in a meeting and like repeating things that had already been said. Um, and then you fast forward and you add in the the menopause piece of it, right? And menopause, just so you know, you got the brain fog coming with that as well. So um prepare yourself. Fast forward to here to bring that positive energy for you ladies today. Um, but the uh it's it's wild. It is, you know, you hear the stories of your mom where it's like I walked in the kitchen, but I can't remember what I walked in here for. And you're like, oh, it's just your age. No, like I have those moments. Like I literally walk from our bedroom to our our dining room and and stare at Brett and I'm like, it's gonna come. Hold on just a second. Yeah. And then it's like you run your brain back through. Um, I haven't figured out how to stop for those moments, but I take a lot more notes. Um, I write things down a lot. I send myself a ton of emails. Like if if I walk out of here and and Jamie, you you're like, hey, I need to talk to you next Friday. Let's find time. And it's on me to find time. I will send myself an email and say, find time with Jamie. Yeah. Um, and I I've learned I gotta be a little more detailed because even sometimes I can't my re jog my brain back to um I don't know what what the heck does this mean? Like, what's Jamie? What's Jamie up with me on Friday? Are we having lunch? Um, and so that's that's become a a pretty big part and and something I'm still today having to navigate through. Um, I could sit on calls all day long and you know, I have to go back to my notes and just be like, okay, these are the things the dots that connected much easier in the past don't connect as well now. Um, and they sure did not connect during when I was actually in the throbs of of chemo. So it was worse then for sure, and it's getting a little better. I'd say it's getting a little bit better, but it's still there. I mean, it's still um it it is still very much a challenge. Um, you know, my mom, we were in Nashville for the Alan Jackson show this weekend, and there was a couple of times where she repeated herself. And you know, in the past I would have been like, you just said that, but you gain a new respect because I'm like, cramp, I repeat myself off the time. It felt bad now. Like I tell my mom all the time, like, you've already told me that three times. Right, right, right. And maybe she did, but chances are she really just didn't remember, and you're gonna be there. You're gonna be there. You're gonna be there, you're gonna be there. Yeah, yeah, it's gonna be your turn. So I try really hard not to say, you've told me that. Um, and to have a little more grace in that space. So we are at the point we need to wrap up. And so thinking about encouraging others to speak up, whether it's contacting their doctor or talking through some of these side effects or you know, symptoms, you know, what's your encouragement behind that and just any final words or things that you would like to share? Yeah. I mean, I think for me, um, it comes down to you have to tell your story in the way you want to tell your story. Um, but within that, you need to know that there is an entire world of people that's most likely going through the same exact thing. Um, and I I go back to the pooping example, right? Like I was never comfortable talking about it. And now I'll talk with you all day about poop. I don't know in the book. Everybody poops for a little kid. Everybody make one for we should. That's a good idea. Everybody poops one on chemo. Um might be different than everybody does. And so I I think it's just, you know, know that you're not, while it feels like you're you're in it alone and your body's changing, you're going through all these different things, you're really not. Um, and and it's okay to get outside of your comfort zone. It's okay to find that community or that resource that's willing to sit and listen and provide guidance and and help you as you figure out what your new norm is. Um, because that's what it is. You're figuring out a new norm for your life. Yeah. Um, and that looks differently for everybody. So we're playing. Well, Nicole, thank you for coming back. Of course. We had her on here a few a month or so ago. Yeah. And now we got her back. So very, very thankful for you sharing. I know it's hard to open up, and for a lot of people, would be way too embarrassed to have these real conversations. And that's what hope and scripted is about. And so we appreciate that. Um, to all of our listeners, we hope today was not too graphic for you, but that you can take something away from that um and know that you're not alone. Um I think that's the most important thing.

SPEAKER_01 31:22

Brittany, I'll let you close us out. We just appreciate everybody listening in. And again, you are not alone in this. Everybody does poop, and it's okay. And if you something resonated with you today and you're interested in learning more about what Hope Cancer Resources does, you can visit Hope Cancer Resources.org and listen in next time. Thanks so much for listening to Hope Unscripted. Join us next time as we share real stories, meaningful resources, and reminders that you're not alone. Until then, keep choosing hope.