The One Painful Question Mom’s Ask

The One Painful Question Moms Ask

As Mother’s Day gets closer, there’s a question many good women carry quietly:

Am I enough?

Enough as a mom, enough for the child who struggles, enough when life didn’t turn out the way you prayed it would.

In this episode, we gently pull that question apart and replace it with something more honest, more grounded, and more healing.

You’ll hear:

• 6 clear ways to know you are enough (even when things feel messy)
• The truth about why your child’s choices are not proof of your failure
• What God actually sees when He looks at you and your family
• How to stop measuring your worth by outcomes you were never meant to control

We’ll anchor everything in powerful scriptures like Isaiah 49 and Romans 8, and a deeply moving story from President Dallin H. Oaks that will change the way you see both yourself and the people you love.

If Mother’s Day feels tender this year, if you’ve been carrying quiet guilt, worry, or disappointment or If you’ve ever wondered if you did enough…

This episode is for you.

Do you want 1:1 help, join me for a free call

 https://calendly.com/sherylee-kartchner/25min

Press play. 🤍

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:01

There's a question many amazing women ask after years of trying, praying, loving, sacrificing, and wondering why life still feels hard. Am I enough? Let's answer that today. Sometimes you listen to the This podcast is for LDS Thompson House. Love the church that feel hardest and shape when resonated. The sadness doesn't only come up here. Others choose their LVS from the thoughts and a feeling conversation. What you can feel about to share. Here we talk always about faith and finer peace when life looks different than you expected, and church doesn't feel as simple as it once did. While staying anchored in God's love and remembering your divine worth. I'm Sherry Lee Kirchner, a certified life coach, and this is Open Conversations for LDS moms. This is episode 17, the One Painful Question Moms Ask. Here's the truth. You are enough because your worth was never tied to outcomes. Not by how your child turned out, not by how close your family feels right now, not by whether you feel appreciated or whether motherhood looked the way you hoped. Your worth was established long before any of that. You are a daughter of heavenly parents. That identity came before success, mistakes, heartbreak, and unanswered prayers. I sat in Relief Society a few months ago and that question was asked in the council discussion portion. It was three words. Am I enough? And the short answer is yes. But if you're asking that question, then the yes isn't enough. As we're leading up to Mother's Day, I want to talk about six ways to know without a doubt that you are enough. Let's get into it. Here's the first one: You are enough because God has not forgotten you. You may feel forgotten when prayers seem unanswered or family pain lingers. But the Lord said in Isaiah chapter forty-nine, I will not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands. You may feel overlooked by people, but you are not overlooked by God. He doesn't misplace people, he doesn't lose track of mothers. He doesn't forget the mom crying in the bathroom before church. President Henry B. Iring said, He knows your name and he knows your circumstances. So I hope that you can remember you are not forgotten by your heavenly parents. Let's get into number two. Pain can make women believe God is disappointed in them. Are things too messy for God to be near? But Scripture says, for I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor things present, nor things to come shall be able to separate us from the love of God. No family conflict, not wandering children, not disappointment, not your child's choices, not the season that you're in right now. We're reminded from President M. Russell Ballard that our Father in heaven loves all his children. God's love does not operate like human approval. It's not earned by performance, it's not revoked by struggle. The third one, you are enough because agency was never yours to control. A child's choices are not a report card on your motherhood. You are asked to love, teach, guide, invite, and keep loving. You are never assigned the job of controlling another person. That was never your burden to carry. First Timothy 2 5 says, There is a mediator between God and man. I want to share a couple of quotes. One by Sister Michelle D. Craig. You cannot control others, but you can choose to turn to the Lord. And then Elderdale G. Redland says, God will force no one to heaven. But he has created a plan with opportunities for learning, growth in this life, and the next. Number four, you are enough because effort counts in heaven, even when no one sees it. Those rides you gave your child, the tears you have shed, the prayers in the dark, the worry, the reaching out again and again, the trying one more time. Heaven sees what the world misses. DNC six hundred thirty says, look unto me in every thought, doubt not, fear not. Our beloved prophet President Russell M. Nelson is the one who said the Lord loves effort. He's also not saying we have to run faster than we can. He's saying the Lord sees our effort no matter what that looks like. I want you to remember this. You see a chapter, God sees the whole record. You see age twenty two, God sees eternity. You see resistance, God sees wounds, timing, readiness, and future softness. I don't have all the answers, but I love trusting in heavenly parents who have abilities beyond what I can even imagine. God is perfectly just, perfectly merciful, and perfectly aware of the full story. Knowing that he can see and comprehend beyond my abilities brings me hope and peace. I do sometimes wonder how, or I want to know the answer to how. Because we have been told to trust in him. The how is none of our business because he has a path and he knows the way. Here's number five. You are enough because your identity is eternal, and so is your child's. And so are you. No temporary season can erase eternal identity. I love this quote by Sister Ardeth G. Cap. We do not need to compare, compete, or never feel enough. We are daughters of God. Sister Ardeth G. Cap was the general young woman's president back in the 80s. I know she would say, Your son is also a son of God. We are loved by our heavenly parents. And the last one that I want you to remember, you are enough because God is still writing the story. Many women decide too early that they have failed, but unfinished things often look broken in the middle. Have you ever done a home DIY project? It is always messy in that middle part when you are trying to build things up. That messy can be discouraging and it can feel like you've made mistakes. But trust that God is writing the story. We have a small glimpse of what the beginning to the end of God's story is going to look like. But there are so many details, so much that we do not know or understand. Relationships can heal, hearts can soften, understanding can come later. Peace can arrive even in that middle part. This chapter is not the whole book. And if you feel like you've been in this chapter for a long time, just know the story still isn't finished. In Isaiah 55 8 it says, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. Thank goodness. Doctrine and Covenants sixty four thirty two said all things must come to pass in their time. That can be frustrating and discouraging because we want to feel it now. But I want you to know you can't have that peace right now, even when nothing changes. Elder Gary E. Stevenson said, the Lord's timing is perfect. Have you ever looked back on a situation that you've made it through? Those tiny moments throughout that you couldn't see when you were in, of God's timing and the learning and the growth that you experienced because of it in those hard moments? Even if we don't understand it or don't understand how this messy can be turning into something beautiful, trusting God, looking back on past experiences can help you remember that his timing is perfect. Some relationships heal later. Some hearts soften after years. And sometimes understanding comes only through the pain. Some testimonies return slowly. God is not rushed because he is not late. President Dallin H. Oaks shared a really moving story in his most recent talk in April called Alive in Christ. I think he asked the stake president or whoever he was sitting by if a woman he saw that he did not know would be someone that they felt comfortable in asking to come up and share a testimony or a personal experience. He was given the okay, so she was called up and asked to share something. When she started talking, President Oaks got a little worried because her story went something like this. She was a nurse in a maximum security care facility, and she described a patient as the most repulsive man she had ever cared for. One night this repulsive man fell, and she went rushing to his room and found him laying on the floor, thrashing in broken glass, liquid, and blood. In that moment, something changed in her. She felt what she described as almost an electric current of love flow through her for this man. A love that did not come from her, but from Heavenly Father. Suddenly she saw him differently. Not as a difficult, disgusting, hopeless person. She saw him as a child of God. I think that is a beautiful sacred reminder for every mom carrying pain over someone she loves. Heavenly Father sees your child in ways you cannot see. He sees beneath behavior, beneath that rebellion and addiction, beneath the anger and distance, the choices that are breaking your heart. He sees wounds, he sees goodness still alive, he sees possibility, he sees his child, and he sees you that way too. He sees his daughter, that he loves, that he knows, that he remembers, and that he knows is enough. Sometimes the greatest peace comes when we borrow God's eyes for a moment and remember that his love is deeper than our fear, wider than this chapter that we're in, and stronger than anything happening right now. So this Mother's Day, if the question comes up, am I enough? Remember the short answer, yes. But if you need more, maybe ask this better question. Am I measuring myself by God's truth or the world's? We're not gonna have all the answers, but we don't need to know how. We can trust in loving heavenly parents that know us better than we know ourselves. They know our child, they know our struggles, they know our heartache. You can trust in them. I hope you have the most beautiful, blessed Mother's Day, remembering that you are enough. Not only in God's eyes, but you are enough right now. Sometimes listening is enough, and sometimes it helps to know you're not alone. If this episode resonated with you, following or subscribing really helps this podcast reach other LDS moms who need these conversations. You're also welcome to share or leave a comment. Your voice matters here. You are not meant to carry this alone.