The Truth about After All we Can Do

Do you ever feel like no matter how hard you try spiritually, it’s still not enough?

In this episode, we’re talking about the real meaning behind the scripture “saved by grace after all we can do” and why so many LDS women quietly carry shame, exhaustion, and pressure around it.

If you’ve ever felt responsible for everyone’s choices, spiritually behind, or afraid you’re failing God because life feels heavy, this episode is for you.

We’ll talk about:

• what “after all we can do” actually means
• why grace was never meant to feel earned
• how many women are spiritually white-knuckling their lives
• what it really looks like to give your will to God
• and why surrender is not weakness, but trust

This conversation is full of hope, honesty, scripture, and powerful teachings from modern prophets and apostles that will help you loosen your grip and feel God’s grace in a different way.

You are not failing because life feels hard.

And maybe “all we can do” was never meant to mean carrying impossible weight alone.

If you’re tired of feeling spiritually exhausted, emotionally overwhelmed, or stuck carrying burdens God never asked you to carry alone, I’d love to support you.

You can schedule a free find connection and peace call with me where we’ll talk about what’s weighing on your heart and what healing and peace could look like for you.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I think a lot of LDS women are secretly exhausted because they believe God is waiting for them to finally do enough. Enough praying, faith, scripture study, perfect parenting, enough patience, secretly hoping if they do enough, maybe you'll finally deserve grace. That belief is crushing women. Do you feel like no matter how hard you try, you're still behind spiritually? What if you've misunderstood the scripture after all we can do? What it actually means. Welcome to Open Conversations for LDS Moms. If you're an LDS mom who loves the church, but life or church doesn't feel as simple as it once did, you're in the right place. Here we talk openly about faith, motherhood, heartache, and finding peace when life looks different than you imagined. The pain we carry doesn't come from life itself, but from the thoughts and meaning we attach to it. I'm Sherry Lee, certified life coach and a mom. I am so glad we get to have these conversations together. This is episode 22, The Truth About After All We Can Do. I don't think God ever intended that scripture to leave women feeling hopeless, like no matter how hard they try, it's still not enough. President Patrick Kieron, so this was a little bit ago, said, if you are prone to worry that you will never measure up, you misunderstood. Infinite means infinite. Infinite covers you and those you love. Are you feeling loved by God or evaluated by Him? Are you one of the many women trying so hard but often carrying burdens God never asked you to carry? Especially mothers. Women trying to save everyone they love. In the October 2020 General Conference, President Russell M. Nelson asked a question. Are you willing to let God prevail in your life? Not are you able to control everyone's choices? Or can you force your family's story to turn out exactly the way you pictured? Are you willing to let God prevail? I think most of us here saved by grace after all we can do, like we're constantly trying to prove ourselves spiritually. Read more, pray more, try harder, don't mess it up. Then Christ will come in and fill the gap at the end if after all we can do is enough. So we live spiritually white-knuckled, like you're driving in a snowstorm. Your hands are gripping that steering wheel so tight that your shoulders ache, your neck is tense, you're probably leaning forward, your jaw might even be clenched. Completely exhausting. Not because gripping that steering wheel changes that storm. It's like we're hanging on and fear is convincing us that we need to control. A few years ago, I drove from Arizona to Rexburg, Idaho to pick up my son from BYU, Idaho. It was the end of April. I had no intention or thought of driving through a snowstorm on our way back after I had picked him up. We were in a Chevy Tahoe. We had four-wheel drive, and we had probably all season tires on our vehicle. South of Nephi, Utah, it started to snow. We'd been driving in rain up until that point, and I was kind of getting tired of it. But the snow was coming down hard and heavy, and I was not prepared for it. Yes, I've driven in many snowstorms, but this was the end of April in southern Utah. It didn't occur to me that there might be snow. I was gripping that steering wheel, following behind, safely, keeping distance, but staying in tracks. This was before the snow plows had even come out. We were just this long steady line, and I drove in that snow to St. George, Utah, the end of April, gripping that steering wheel, white knuckling it. Now that is not the only time I've whitenuckled it through snow and through life. White knuckling while I was raising children, wondering about their future, worthiness, and faith, trying to hold on to everything so that nothing falls apart. And then after a while, you don't even realize how tense you are. You're kind of afraid to relax, especially if you're in a difficult season. You are probably white knuckling it, feeling very tense, worried about our kids, their testimony, our eternal family. Does any of that sound familiar? You're stressed or fearful instead of living in peace, trust, and confidence in yourself and your relationship with God. The scriptures don't say be perfect before Christ comes in and helps you. What they talk about over and over is willingness. Elder Neil A. Maxwell said, the submission of one's will is really the only uniquely personal thing we have to place on God's altar. You can give God your church attendance, your calling, your scripture study, and your service, but your will is different. Your will is the deepest, most personal part of you. It's your desires, trust and surrender, and your willingness to say, God, I don't understand this, but I'm willing to let you lead me through it. That's why Elder Maxwell says it's the only uniquely personal thing we can place on God's altar. Because agency is that one thing God never forces. He will not force trust, surrender, or relationships. Do you think you're supposed to hand God perfect outcomes? Like perfect kids, perfect faith, and dare I say perfect families? God isn't asking you to hand him guaranteed results. He's asking for your willing heart. But sometimes life feels so heavy that willingness and capacity don't fully align. And that doesn't mean you're failing. Sometimes faith simply looks like staying tuned toward God, even while you're struggling with what he's asking you to carry. Do you think God is asking you to hand over those perfect kids? Truthfully, what he's really asking for is something much more personal. Trust, willingness, and your heart. Omni 126 says, and now, my beloved brethren, I would that ye should come unto Christ, who is the Holy One of Israel, and partake of his salvation and the power of his redemption. Yea, come unto him and offer your whole soul as an offering unto him. I want you to notice what it does not say. It's not saying, Come unto Christ when you finally fixed yourself. Come unto him once your family is perfect. It's also not saying, Come unto him once you've done enough. It says, Come unto him and offer your whole soul. Not your polished soul, not your perfect soul, your whole soul. The grieving parts, those exhausted parts, those confused and hopeful, even hopeless parts, the parts still wrestling with God. That's what all you can do really means. Not performing our way into grace, but bringing our real honest heart to Christ and letting Him meet us there. I think a lot of women believe all we can do means gripping tighter, white knuckling it, trying harder, controlling more, fixing everything. But Omni said, offer your whole soul. God was never asking us to whitenuckle our way to heaven. He's asking us to finally loosen our grip enough to let him carry us. Remember what Elder Maxwell said. When we finally submit ourselves, we are really giving something to him. But surrender isn't weakness, it's trust. And I think this is where so many women are exhausted. They're trying to do God's job for him. Trying to rescue those adult children, force, heal, prevent pain, trying to hold eternity together with our bare hands, white knuckling it along. And do you know what's underneath all of that? It's fear. The fear of, I don't know how. How is this going to turn out okay? Because it sure doesn't look like it from my eyes. We sometimes think that if we loosen our grip, everything will fall apart. Like if you're driving in a snowstorm, if you loosen that grip, the car's gonna go crazy. Where our grip really has nothing to do with the performance of the car. But that grip does feel safer. But it's draining life from you. Your hands eventually ache. Your shoulders are so tense, and your neck is just hurting. Your whole body is exhausted from trying to control something you were never controlling in the first place. So I want you to think of this. God is gently saying, you can loosen your grip. I'm still here. President Nelson said, when your greatest desire is to let God prevail, so many decisions become easier to carry. Not because life becomes painless, but because you stop carrying responsibility that was never yours to carry alone. And maybe that is the truth about after all we can do. Maybe all we can do was never meant to mean carry impossible weight. Maybe it means keep turning ourselves to Him again and again and again. So if you're listening today feeling tired, feeling spiritually behind, feeling like you should be doing more, God isn't asking you to save yourself. He isn't asking you to control everyone's agency or earn his love through exhaustion or prove your goodness by constantly feeling guilty. I love this quote by Elder Patrick Hieron. The intent of the Father's great plan of happiness is not to keep you, and might I add, those you love out, but to get you in. Can you trust him? Can you give him a willing heart? Can you loosen your grip on the steering wheel? Remember, after all you can do simply means give him your willing heart, trust him a little more today, and keep going back to him when life hurts. That's it. And the beautiful thing about grace is Christ meets us there. Not after you finally become perfect, right in the middle of trying, no matter what is going on. I want to remind you that God never asked you to save yourself. He was never asking you to control everyone's outcomes, never asking you to become perfect before receiving grace, never asking you to carry that pain alone. Sometimes listening is enough, and sometimes you're ready for more support. I want to invite you to a free connection and peace call with me. In our 25 minutes together, we'll talk about where you are, what feels hard right now. You will leave with more hope, connection, and peace. You can find the link to schedule your free call below. And if these conversations matter to you, following, subscribing, and sharing the podcast helps more LDS moms find support, feel seen, and know that they are not alone. Your story is not over. God is still working in ways you may not be able to see.