Faith and Fear Can Exist at the Same Time

Feeling stuck in fear about your child and their choices?

Schedule a free call with me here: 

If you've ever thought, "If I had more faith, I wouldn't be so afraid," this episode is for you.

In this week's Summer of Letting Go series, we're talking about letting go of fear. Not by pretending it doesn't exist. Not by trying to force yourself to be fearless. But by understanding that fear and faith can exist in the same heart at the same time.

I'll share a personal story about a hike at San Tan Regional Park, an unexpected snake warning sign, and how quickly fear can change what we see, what we focus on, and what we believe is waiting around the next corner.

We'll also talk about the powerful story behind Mark 9:24, where a father comes to Christ and says, "Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief." His words remind us that struggling doesn't mean we're failing and that fear doesn't mean our faith is gone.

If you're carrying fear about your child's future, their relationship with the Church, or whether you're doing enough as a mother, I hope this episode brings you a little more peace and a little more room to breathe.

You don't have to eliminate fear to move forward. You don't have to have all the answers to trust God. And you don't have to carry the weight of this journey alone.

If you're ready for support, encouragement, and tools to help you find more peace while loving your child exactly where they are, I'd love to talk with you.

Schedule your free Find Connection & Peace Call with me.

There is hope. There is peace available to you right now. And sometimes one conversation can help you see a path forward you couldn't see before.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

I want to start today's episode with something that might be a little different from what you've heard before. If you've spent years hearing that faith and fear cannot exist in the same space, I think they can. If you were ever taught, if I had more faith, I wouldn't be afraid, I want to gently challenge that idea today. Because I don't believe fear automatically means your faith is weak. I think fear means you're human. I think fear shows up when something matters deeply to you, when your child is making choices you never imagined, when the future feels uncertain. The question isn't whether fear will show up. The question is what happens when it does. So I want to show you that I think faith can't sit next to fear and remind you that God is still present, still aware, and still working even when you can't see it. Because today, as we continue the summer of letting go, we're talking about letting go of fear. Not by pretending it doesn't exist, but by loosening its grip enough that faith has more room to show up. Welcome to Open Conversations for LDS Moms. If you're an LDS mom who loves the church, but life or church doesn't feel as simple as it once did, you're in the right place. Here we talk openly about faith, motherhood, heartache, and finding peace when life looks different than you imagine. The pain we carry doesn't come from life itself, but from the thoughts and meaning we attach to it. I'm Sherry Lee, certified life coach and a mom. I am so glad we get to have these conversations together. This is episode 27. Faith and Fear Can Exist at the same time. If I'm being honest, I'm someone that carries more fear than the average person. At least I think I do. There's no way of proving that. When I try new things, I do worry about getting hurt. I don't want to hurt myself. I don't want to fall down a cliff. I don't want to deal with what I think are negative consequences for trying things that are fearful. Now I have fears that I don't mind keeping. I don't like creepy, crawly insects, bugs of any kind. I don't like snakes and lizards and anything you find out in the desert just a mile from my home. I'm okay with keeping that fear, but I also don't want it to ruin experiences that I could be having. For example, I enjoy going out in the desert and hiking. It has its own natural beauty that I have come to love and appreciate. And I like that I live super close to a park that I can go to after a day of work just to go for a quick walk through nature to reset and to enjoy and experience all the beauty that is there. I was going on a hike with a friend in March. She got in my car and she mentioned that her son had been on a hike a couple of days before, not the same trail we were going on, not even the same area, about a half an hour apart. And he came across a rattlesnake in the middle of his trail. And I instantly thought, I didn't know the snakes were out. And she says, they were on that trail. Maybe they're not out where we're going. Well, guess what? I pull up to the park. I have my pass to come in to show them at the window, and there's a sign that said, The snakes are out. I instantly was pretty sure I didn't want to go for this hike. I didn't want it to ruin the experience. I wanted to be out in nature, but I knew now I was going to be on high alert. Guess what happened? We were on a beautiful trail. It was early in the morning, still cool. It was March, but the sun was coming out and it was getting hotter, so things come out of hibernation, unfortunately. The trails are really wide, so my friend and I decided if we stick to the center and just be mindful, all will be well. I was scanning continually as we hiked. Every rustle, every noise, I was looking. I didn't want to see a snake, but I didn't want to not see it if it was right there. I was also seeing snakes in twigs and dead bushes, like shapes. My brain was making up things all over the place. I was seeing things, I was thinking that looked like a snake. And I was on high alert. Every rustle in the bushes sounded like something making me even more nervous. I was not enjoying the beauty of where I was because I had so much fear. Ironically, in the last four months, from January till about two months ago, I saw two snakes on trails. I was not impressed. Not the kind of snakes with rattles on their tails. I don't care what kind it is, I don't want to see them. And it does dampen my experience. It makes it less enjoyable. But those are not the kind of fear that I'm talking about today. When a child leaves the church, we start having fear. Then comes the verse that we all know. Lord I believe. Help mine unbelief. I think what's beautiful is that the Father doesn't hide that he's struggling. He doesn't pretend. He doesn't say, I've got perfect faith. He's basically saying, I do believe. That's why I'm here. That's why I brought my son. That's why I'm asking for help. But there's also a part of me that's struggling. Can you help that part too? President Russell M. Nelson taught, faith in Jesus Christ is the greatest power available to us in this life. I love this because faith isn't presented as the absence of fear. As I was on my hike that morning with my friend scanning for snakes, I realized something. The snakes weren't controlling my experience. My attention and thoughts were. So if you're a mom who's struggling, because you have children or a child making choices that you wished they weren't making or never imagined that they would be making, you may think that having faith means certainty. But faith is simply continuing to try even when certainty isn't available. That's what President Ugdorf was talking about. He doesn't expect us to do or be more than we're capable of being. He just wants us to keep trying and trusting in him. I want you to picture yourself in a car. And I don't want you to think of fear as something that you're throwing out of the car as you're going down the road. I want you to think of it as moving it to the backseat. It's coming with you, but it's not driving the car. Fear gets to ride along. Let faith be the one that drives the car. When faith is the one steering the car, even if you're scared, you can move forward. You don't need less fear to have faith. You need to stop using fear as evidence that your faith is gone. Many of the moms that I work with are already demonstrating tremendous faith. They just don't recognize it because fear is making all of the noise. It's the thing that's the loudest. The reason that this is hard to explain is because we've been taught to think of faith and fear as opposites. Either you're afraid or you're faithful. But that's not how most humans experience life. Faith and fear are looking at the same situation and reaching different conclusions. Fear is saying something bad could happen. Faith says something bad could happen and God will still be with me. Notice that faith doesn't deny the possibility of fear or the pain that could happen or is happening. Let's say you're thinking my child may never come back to church. Fear sounds like, and if that happens, everything is ruined. Faith sounds like, I don't know how this story ends, but God loves my child even more than I do. Same circumstance, different conclusion. Faith isn't the absence of fear, faith is choosing who you trust while fear is making a lot of noise. It's the assumption that fear means their faith is weak. And I want to challenge you on that. I want you to think about fear in the backseat and faith steering the car. If you have fear, that does not mean you don't have faith. This is the summer of letting go. Last week was letting go of comparison. This week is letting go of fear. And what I mean by that is letting go of it driving. It's coming along. We all are going to experience fear. But put it in the backseat of the car. Let your faith drive the car. And if fear shows up, acknowledge it. Be aware of it. Stop scanning for the snakes. If you need a minute, take a minute. Talk to someone you can confide in or reach out to a coach and let them help you untangle that fear a little bit so it's in the backseat and not driving the car. The fear I'm talking about letting go of is the fear that something has gone wrong. The fear that you made mistakes. The fear that things will not get worked out. It's putting the fear in front of faith. Forgetting to trust in God's plan. While carrying some concern that maybe we don't have all the answers and we can't see the how. That's the kind of fear I'm talking about. Letting go of the fear that has been driving and taking so much of your energy, wondering how you need to fix this. It's like me in the desert scanning for snakes. I am completely missing the beauty of what is before me because I have so much fear. If you're hiking in the desert and the snakes are out, you do need to have some awareness. Put the fear in the back seat and let the faith drive. I cannot wait for next week. We are going to talk about another thing we are going to let go of this summer. It's the summer series of letting go. I would love to invite you to schedule a free call with me where we can talk about what is heavy on your heart. If it's fear, if it's comparison, if it's your children, whatever is heavy on your heart, in just 25 minutes, you will find some peace that you have been missing. Jump on the link in my show notes and schedule a free call with me. I would love to talk with you about what is weighing heavy on your heart. Sometimes listening is enough, and sometimes you're ready for more support. I want to invite you to a free connection and peace call with me. In our 25 minutes together, we'll talk about where you are, what feels hard right now. You will leave with more hope, connection, and peace. You can find the link to schedule your free hope below. And if these conversations matter to you, following, subscribing, and sharing the podcast helps more LDS moments find support. Feel seen and know that they are not alone. Your story is not over. God is still working in ways you may not be able to see.