I'm a Survivor

After overcoming cancer, one woman shares her journey of resilience, healing, and hope. This inspiring podcast is a reminder that choosing life, joy, and purpose every day is its own kind of victory.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome, welcome back to MJ Unscripted. I am MJ. So glad that you joined us today. How do you know that you're in the right space? Well, you're a person who wants to become a better version of yourself. Today I have with me the beautiful Joanne Gilmore, my aunt. Hello. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:22

Good afternoon.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Um, can you tell us who is Joanne Gilmore?

SPEAKER_01 0:29

That is a question. I think I don't have a definite answer. I'm still evolving, doing different things. I have seasons that I've gone through where I have changed who I am, what I do, how I do it. Okay. And so now I'm into the DIY stuff. So I'm back into my sewing. Okay. Um back into my walking and um trying to really do at least two trips a year, major trips and things. So that's where I am now.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

So you don't want to label it, you don't want to put it in a box. I don't have a box. You don't okay. Be outside the box. Be outside the box. Okay, but you are a retired educator. Yes. How long did you were your principal?

SPEAKER_01 1:15

Uh well, principal was 11 years. I work for the district 25 years.

SPEAKER_00 1:20

Wow. Okay, thank you for your survey.

SPEAKER_01 1:22

And you're very welcome.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

And you are also a breast cancer survivor.

SPEAKER_01 1:27

Yes, I am. I believe this year will be my fifth year. Fifth year. Okay, so that went fast. It did. You know, it really did. It was, I discovered it one day in the shower, then I contacted my OBGYN, and then we went through the tests. And next thing I know, I was set up for um the chemo, the surgery, and then the radiation.

SPEAKER_00 1:53

Okay, so you you went fast and I wanna sl I want to back up, right? So when you first discovered it, like what went through your mind at that time? Like, was it like uh-oh, what is this?

SPEAKER_01 2:06

Or well, I knew it was something. I knew it just wasn't a pimple, it was large. Okay. It was back under the back near my back. Okay, so this was breast cancer. This is breast cancer. And um, immediately um I made that phone call to make an appointment to really find out exactly what it was and where I was. Okay. You know, what was the stage, what were gonna be the next steps. I would I wanted to know.

SPEAKER_00 2:31

Right. So go to the doctor and then you get the news.

SPEAKER_01 2:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 2:36

How did you feel in that moment?

SPEAKER_01 2:38

I was a little apprehensive because my position was I didn't want to go back into the hospital for anything. Okay. Um, because I had been there before for other situations. Okay. And then I know my sister was with me, one of my sisters with me, and I said to the doctor, Okay, so let's let's do a schedule. What are we doing? And how fast are we gonna get through this? Right. You like I want to get back to the driver. I just want to get done. I don't, you know, want to delay, so there's still tests you have to do, you have to do MRIs, right? And then you have to, and then I I was amazed at the technology, okay. How they were able to, after the chemo was an interesting situation, but preparing you for the surgery and everything they have to do. You are drugged out of your mind, of things that they're sticking in your body, okay, getting you ready to help the surgeon pinpoint exactly where she had to go to extract the cancer. Um, it it was amazing to me. How many rounds of chemo did you have to do? 12 rounds. Um, I was a stage three, triple negative. Okay. I did find out that the origins of this is from West Africa. Really? And at the time that I was going through it, they did not have set up a genetics testing information. And so I didn't get what some other people may get today. But it was just interesting reading about the information. Okay. Um, Barnabas has this book for you. It outlines all of the chemo drugs, it explains what it does to your body. Okay. They have photos for you, pictures for you to follow. And it was a very informative booklet, and I and I kept it because I, if anyone else wants to, or is going through it, I want to share that book with them.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

What did you experience during your rounds of chemo? Like, how was that for you?

SPEAKER_01 4:27

My first round was horrible because they have a prescribed duration where they put putting the drug into your body. I didn't do well. Okay. And so I became ill. Um, I was breaking under sweat. I told them to unplug me. I was going home. I'm leaving. I'm leaving, and I'm crying because it's pain. Because then the nurse told me, she said, it's gonna feel if you get it, if it's a problem, you're gonna feel like someone kicked you in your stomach. It felt like someone was kicking me in my stomach.

SPEAKER_00 4:55

Like pain in your stomach.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Pain in my stomach, and I'm throwing up everything, and I'm sweating, and they had to take off my blast.

SPEAKER_00 5:02

And this is round one. This is round one.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Yeah, like I'm not doing this. That's what I told her. I said, Unplug me, I'm not doing this. She says, Well, I can't. I said, if you don't do it, I'm gonna unplug myself. Okay. So I I I can't do this. Uh-huh. So they had to slow the progression. So that meant that where I would normally come in the afternoon, I had to come in the morning because the progression was slower, so I was there a longer amount of time. So I adjusted, you know, I came in with my water bottle, my headphones, my snacks. Um, but you don't really get to do too much of that. You go to sleep.

SPEAKER_00 5:35

Right.

SPEAKER_01 5:35

Of all that they give you.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

And then what are you feeling?

SPEAKER_01 5:39

You feel drowsy, you're tired. That whole day. It feels like someone has beat you across the floor, you are exhausted. And you don't, even if you don't sleep, or even if you sleep well, you're exhausted. So you come in and go to bed. You never get enough sleep, you cannot drive. Someone has to drop you off and pick you up. Okay. Um, so a couple of times, I think um Deacon Tyree had to come get me a few times. But I got through it. I mean, because I kept saying, all right, there's there's going to be an end to this. Right. And I know if I can just stay focused. And I thought that if I did my part as a patient and did not um cause them any grief in terms of fussing and whining and nagging, but I made sure that I had healthy things to eat.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:29

I drank with water. I have a 64-ounce water bottle that I filled with lemons or pe peaches or just something that tasted really good because you have no taste.

SPEAKER_00 6:39

Oh, oh, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_01 6:41

You don't, it your taste is gone. It's off. So all you know is that you're putting something in your mouth. You know what it is supposed to taste like because you've had it before. But it doesn't. But it doesn't. It tastes bland. What's the blandest thing you can eat? Celery. It tastes, it's just bland. No flavor.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

Okay. Oh, I didn't that part I didn't know.

SPEAKER_01 7:01

Yeah, it's it's interesting. You don't, the hospital gives you lots of resources. So you have a nutritionist, you can do art lessons, you can do yoga. I did a nutritionist, I didn't want to do the rest of that.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 7:13

But because I cook, so I knew what the things that I should do, but I also ate the stuff I wasn't supposed to eat because I I'm a wise potato chip fanatic.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 7:23

So I I I periodically binge out on that, but fruit I like.

SPEAKER_00 7:28

Was there ever a time you felt like it was gonna beat you? Like mentally? Like, did you not until ever was all over? Really?

SPEAKER_01 7:39

I didn't I didn't I refuse to deal with the fact of what I was going through while you were while I was going through it, because all I focused on is let me just get to the end of this. Right, right. And then I have to know, then I have to do part two, okay, which is the surgery, which was another traumatic experience. Okay, and then you have to do part three, which is the radiation. So one of my Sorahs in another chapter was going through it and she was posting on Facebook. So when it came time for her radiation, her skin was all black and blue and bruised. So I said to my doctor, Am I gonna go through this? Is that what my skin is gonna look like? Can we bypass this? Right. And she says, Well, no, you might get that, but you might not, but we'll be careful. I had no problems with the radiation. It was 30 straight days of radiation.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

You were pleased with your team?

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yes. I was pleased with all my physicians. Okay. Every every layer, there wasn't one that I wasn't pleased with.

SPEAKER_00 8:35

What I would say, what I do remember, is you were extremely positive through the entire time. And I remember you sharing with me before, like, you know, if people would call and they were crying, you would be like, nope, I'm hanging up. Because it's like you, if I'm trying to be in this space, absolutely. Don't call me crying. Don't call me crying.

SPEAKER_01 8:55

I don't want to hear, oh, you poor thing. I couldn't deal with that. I don't want like so you just hang up.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

Well, I would cut the call, sure. But you needed that for you. Absolutely. Okay, so we get past it. And so you said five years ago that was 2021.

SPEAKER_01 9:14

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:14

When it happened, I remember it well because we were still in COVID.

SPEAKER_01 9:18

Yes, that's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_00 9:20

And now, if we fast forward to 2026, your sister, my mother, um, we found out that she also breast cancer as well. Stage two.

SPEAKER_01 9:33

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

And what I would say is how God set this up because it was almost like you had to have it first. I know. Why? I know. Well, you're the big sister, you have everything. But you had to have it first because I'm watching how you're navigating with her. And she's coming out like a champ as well, too. And she has, I guess, three more rounds.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Just three more rounds. So I'm taking it this Thursday. It's every Thursday. Right. She has a good support system. Her friends have assisted where I can't make it on a Thursday or whatever. So they step up because her appointments are early in the morning. Yeah. So usually she has to be there by 7 a.m., which means you know they have to get up. But it's working. And I maybe because of how she witnessed what I was going through where I wasn't falling apart. Yeah. I mean, you fall apart and you have your moments. Right. I'm not just I'm not a crier in public. Right. So if I'm going to be sad, I'm going to do it on my own and then keep moving, you know, from there.

SPEAKER_00 10:37

One thing she did experience that you you may have, but we didn't notice it is because you've always wanted a short haircut. Right. But what about two, three weeks ago when we had to um cut her locks off.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

That was traumatic for her.

SPEAKER_00 10:51

Right. We had to cut her locks. Um, locks that she's had over 20 plus years.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 10:56

But um I did share with her that instead of watching them fall, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Let's just let it get she and I had had that conversation. Okay. And I had said to her a few weeks before you brought this up, why don't you start looking for a wig if you're gonna wear a wig? If not, go on Pinterest. They have these great scarves and you can tie your hair up and you do whatever and you start practicing. Well, she can be a little slow to move forward. Well, slower than what you want. So I didn't say anything else because I'm like, I'm gonna get right on it and figure it out. And I'm, you know, I'll jump right on my computer and do something.

SPEAKER_00 11:34

Well, that's how you operate. You're like, oh, do this, okay. Now she's like, I gotta think about it. Think about it.

SPEAKER_01 11:41

I mean, you know what? I do think about it, but it doesn't take me that long to process. Correct. She has to take, she sits with it. Yes, and I'm like, what? What are you waiting for?

SPEAKER_00 11:53

So so we let them go. And um, what I haven't shared online is this is the reason why I have short hair is I did cut my hair to be in solidarity with my mother.

SPEAKER_01 12:05

That was wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 12:06

And um, she loved it. Yes, she because I didn't know how else to support on that level, right? Thursdays, I'm still working, absolutely, right? So I'm grateful for you. I'm grateful for her team, her friends who are able to get her. Yes, and I try to juice, I bought her some sour sauce, like you know, I'm trying from my end. But it was like, okay, she can't have to cut her locks, and I still have them. True. So I I did let mine go. Well, she saved them, so we'll we'll see what happens. Well, she doesn't have to reattach them either, right? Well, that's what I said to her. Your hair looks fine, but the hair holds energy, and and she also is the cutest thing right now, exactly. Um, so I'm grateful for that. My question to you though, because you have a story in which you were able to beat this thing, right? And it looks like mommy is doing the same thing. Um, but there's people who their story didn't end the same way, or there's people who, their family members, they had to watch them go through. What would you say to um someone who is A right now dealing with any, because cancer can attach, attack any part of the body. True, right? What do you say to that person who's going through it now? And then what do you say to those family members who are watching that process?

SPEAKER_01 13:30

The person and the person who's going through it, do they have support or are they just going through it on their own?

SPEAKER_00 13:35

Just anyone, right? We don't know.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

Well, I would say stay in prayer.

SPEAKER_00 13:40

Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:40

You know, that's the first step. Every single morning, in the evening, or whether you're feeling a low moment in your life, then you journal. Right. Journal about the things that you have in your life. People don't always understand exactly what blessings are already in their life until they see it in print. Right. So then write about what, you know, I mean you can write about the bad stuff too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But write about the things that you have. And when you go through that process and you close the book and then you go back to it and reread it. Because you may have a low moment and you need to say, you know what, let me figure out, let me go back to what and look at what I actually have that I'm able to bring out. And then you knock all the negative stuff out your head because God got you. God got you. And you and that's what you think. Yeah. So you would that that's your advice for both people? That's my advice for both. And if they don't have someone who is supportive, then be your own support. What does that look like? You're reading books about grieving situations. Um, you're asking questions of the doctors, um, you get them to help you. Maybe there's a support group at the hospital that you can bond with, and eventually you will find someone like-minded. I mean, even I did with radiation. There were the same two Italian ladies who sat in the room with me because they were going through radiation. We were in the dressing room, and they were telling me how this was not their first bout with cancer. Wow. One of them had had cerebral cancer. Okay. And she said, and I know I'm going to beat that, just like I did to breast cancer. And so it's a mindset. It is. But you never know when you're speaking to someone what's going to come out their mouth that's going to resonate with how you're feeling. Correct. So that's what you do. Well, that's what I did.

SPEAKER_00 15:26

That's what you did. Um, it's so it, I will admit, like it is scary to me, right? Knowing you had it, mommy has it. So, uh, like you said earlier, now they have the genetic testing. Yes. Which she did. Right. So all this information now goes into my record. And I I already stay current with my mammograms, and it's so important, but it's like it can be anything. And I think the scary part is there's some people who deal with it who they've done everything correct, quote unquote, right? I eat, I eat well, I work out, I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't do all these things, and yet I still have this. It just makes me feel like it's bigger than what we're eating and things like that.

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Well, it is. I've been on uh YouTube. There is an influencer called Tiffany Lumpkin, and she is a beauty consultant, and she talks about how makeup affects your body and how you need to read labels. We don't read labels. No. We you know we see what's on TikTok or we look at an ad and we're looking at women that are in vogue, or we're looking at what's in essence, and we're like, oh, we want that look. But we're really not paying attention to the labels of the chemicals that they're putting into our makeup. We need to start doing that because some of the ingredients are cancer causing.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

And I've heard that too with our um detergent. Yes. For clothes, right?

SPEAKER_01 16:55

Because I use seven heaven at this point.

SPEAKER_00 16:58

Oh, that's a plug. I'm sorry. Um, I did hear about, but I will I'm convinced now it's like it's like what isn't it? Exactly. It seems like that list is almost shorter of what it isn't as opposed to what it is.

SPEAKER_01 17:12

It is, even to right now, I'm cleaning my oven. I'm using baking soda. I'm making a pace, going back to something that without the easy off and choking me out in the house.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

I was just talking telling my students yesterday about vinegar and like different things as opposed to the harsh chemicals. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 17:29

Ah, but it's our ancestors did it with newspaper vinegar, they clean windows. This is correct. Not just our ancestors. Absolutely. But then here we are, you know, we're using Windex with chemicals, and we we we go for what's we think is new or easy and easy and exciting, and it's quick, but we were also going back to those old remedies.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

But we're we were going for those other things because we think it's quick and it also smells good. Exactly. Because vinegar does not smell good. Vinegar does not smell good, yet it's not gonna cause any harm to you. That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 18:02

You can pour it on some beets and eat it. Oh, that's delicious. Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 18:08

And cucumbers. And cucumbers. Okay. Um, where can I go? Because I this is um it's a personal one to me. I've enjoyed all my podcasts, but this one's personal because it's hit my family. Right. Um, but I want to personally on here thank you for um the woman that you are to our family, to the my cousins, to your siblings. You are the firstborn. You always take charge. Um, and it's not that you don't have feelings, it's not that you don't feel pain or hurt, you just understand. Let me do this over here. Right. But I want to personally thank you for the woman that you are, the woman you've always been, the aunt that you are to me, my godmother. I love you. I love the way you care for all of us. And I just I felt I needed to say that out loud for everybody.

SPEAKER_01 19:01

That is very nice. I I appreciate those sentiments. I didn't know. And I'm glad I'm here right now before I'm in the coffin.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Oh, give me your flowers before.

SPEAKER_01 19:11

We're not thinking about you going to the coffin anytime. So it doesn't matter. As a what? Another life. I think I have my other life. I'm gonna be an attorney.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

Oh, God. You as an attorney would be a beast. Absolutely. I'm not, I don't want to be here. Do you have one last thing you would like to share before we close this out?

SPEAKER_01 19:33

I'm thankful for my life uh for all of the ups and downs, from the downs that I've learned something not to do that again and to or do something differently. Yeah. Um, unfortunately, there's only so much time. Right. I don't know when my time is over, even though I'm claiming 100.

SPEAKER_00 19:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

And therefore, um that's pretty much it. And thank you so much for inviting me. I was definitely surprised.

SPEAKER_00 20:00

Yeah. Well, you were like, uh, yeah, I guess.

SPEAKER_01 20:05

Because you I'm always thinking, what is it that I have to say or to offer? Well, we all do. But it's for me. And so for me to sit and say, okay, I can sit here and and speak with you about my life because I'm always so quiet. I don't really talk about my life.

SPEAKER_00 20:21

Okay, but you you've done so much and you're still doing. Like you're you're retired, but you're not home. This is true, right? You're you're a part of uh two great sororities, right?

SPEAKER_01 20:32

Yes, Nassau Sorority of Phi Delta Kappa, which is a sorority of educators, and I'm with Zeta Phi Beta Sorority Incorporated. Okay, so you're busy with both.

SPEAKER_00 20:42

You travel, you bake, you cook, you sew. Yes, um, and you have beat cancer.

SPEAKER_01 20:49

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

I think that's a lot to be said about all of that. And that's just the minimum. You've done great things, and you'll continue to.

SPEAKER_01 20:58

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Thank you so much for coming on.

SPEAKER_01 21:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 21:01

If you enjoyed or liked anything that you heard today, um, just hit subscribe, hit like, share it out, tell a friend to tell a friend. I pray that your day is filled with love, laughter, and learning, and I'll talk to you soon.