Chuck Espy: MORE THAN POLITICS

Former Representative Chuck Espy, comes from a family whose commitment to leadership and community impact spans generations. The Espy name is one of distinction, rooted in service, advocacy, and breaking barriers. His uncle, Mike Espy, made history as the first African American elected to Congress from Mississippi since Reconstruction, and later became the first African American to serve as United States Secretary of Agriculture. 

Following in those footsteps, Chuck Espy has continued the family tradition of standing in the gap for the people. As a former Mississippi State Representative, he served with vision, determination, and a heart for progress. Yet beyond politics, he is known as a man who understands that true leadership is about lifting communities, creating opportunities, and inspiring the next generation.

Today, we recognize not only a former representative, but a man who represents legacy, perseverance, and purpose. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Welcome, welcome. This conversation is for you. And welcome back to the conversation here on Practical Living where insight meets impact. And today, we are honored to sit down with the powerful Lords, a leader, and a man of influence, Chuck Esky. From his work in public service to his passion for community empowerment, this is a conversation you don't want to miss. So I need you to get ready for real talk, meaningful perspective and inspiration that reaches beyond the moment. So let's go ahead and dive in with my friend Chuck. It is so good to see you today. Yes, sir. I'm just, we we look at you so much, and people don't understand we got history. Long history. We got the history when folk didn't know what we were doing. We got the history. We got the history of before Lynn and with Lee and your beautiful wife. That's right. How's it going with these five with these five children? I wish you wouldn't have fourth culprit.

SPEAKER_00 1:03

I think when y'all walk out the door, you're gonna have a wife say, Is there another child? Is there another child I don't know?

SPEAKER_02 1:11

If people only knew how we we started, I mean, I mean, we we won't we won't go into that, but what is the most rewarding part? Well raising.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

Well, let me let me first say this to you. Um, it is definitely a blessing to have a friendship that we've had. I that's over 30 years. Exactly. And um, and it's good to see how your career flourishes and how you're investing not only in the community, but through the ministry, and how you're making an impact on people's lives. So you don't know how your friends are gonna turn out over the years. And um it's it's been a blessing to watch what you've been able to do in the ministry, and I'm very proud of that.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

Thank you, man. And I know you are because I can remember, and let's just take note. He hadn't been to the new church yet. Let's let's just one just one Sunday you showed up. That's right. You and your whole family and just came to worship with us that morning. And that was a great moment because it was just good to see you all show up and just come through. I don't think people know that um I was part of your campaign when you first ran for both representative and major. I was part of your marketing campaign push pushing them through.

SPEAKER_00 2:33

The first one, you know, to say the first one was so glorious.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

I know, right? Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:38

That was in 1999.

SPEAKER_02 2:40

Uh-huh. And actually, 98, really. The time you showed up um to just come worship with us one morning, you weren't the mayor of Clarksdale. You had been the mayor before and stop and was gonna run again. And we and I didn't know it. That's right. But my wife spoke a word to you. She did. And I was like, baby, I don't think he she said, yes, he is watched. And sure enough, you she didn't know we didn't know nothing about it. And so when I did find out, I told you, I said, nah, I ain't finna help you with this one. But you had purpose as to what you wanted to do, and I think you accomplished that. I think you accomplished that well, man. So that that's just the history of how things ran with you. So what's the what was the most, you know.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Well, well, let me just speak about that. Okay. About when when in that moment um um with your wife, she she spoke over me, spoke some very powerful. And the the interesting part about it, a lot of people don't really trust politicians. And you know, politicians get a bad rap, right? Um, but the people of faith have to step up. And, you know, I have been really grounded in my spirituality. Now, have I been perfect? No. But I know where I've come from, exactly. And I know who I belong to. And a lot of people, um, you have enemies and people that don't want to see you succeed in life. And that's with everyone. That's politicians and everyone that walks this planet. But again, when you stay grounded and you know who you belong to, because that's very important, other people see that. Other people can give you words of encouragement, and they can pray for you that actually gives a boost, an armor of protection. And I know that when I left your church that day, I didn't say anything. My wife noticed it, and she said, You're gonna be just fine. I said, I know. I felt it. Um, and a lot of people don't like to talk about that side, but there are moments in my life where I can feel that God is working for the betterment of what I'm trying to accomplish. And every single time that that has happened, it's been A, B, C, 1, 2, 3, and it happens. And anytime that I've stepped outside of that realm, it's a struggle. It's rough, it's tough, it's rumble. But you know when God is directing your path. And that was one of the days that um with you and your wife, you all would surely helping me to get to where I belong.

SPEAKER_02 5:34

That's true. And I didn't, I didn't, we didn't know. And like I said, one of the things that I love that you is that you recognize that the Spirit of the Lord was giving you something to do. And I didn't know, I don't even remember what I even preached that morning. But did you know someone that was in a meeting at Ohoma Community College was there with you and you spoke of that day. And the word that God had given you that day when you were at George for Fellowship. So that blew me away. And I was like, you know what? I didn't, I didn't think of. But we only, as ministers, as pastors, we only called to do what God gives us and give the word that God gives us for that day and that time, for that moment. And it's amazing to me that you grabbed it and ran with it. Whatever it was.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

But but I but I take it very seriously.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

I guess you do.

SPEAKER_00 6:25

Um and the impact of what well let's let's say this you may not know the purpose, the rhyme or reason, but when you say, when you're speaking through our Lord and Savior, it's touching someone.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

That's right.

SPEAKER_00 6:44

It's touching someone, and that's what the thing is. And it actually touched me that day. And I committed some of those things, some of your words, to my speech. And again, I don't shy away from strong leadership. Um, people sometimes have this jealousy clause in them and have a very tough time carrying the message of another wise person. But when I see the wisdom and I see what God is doing, I love to spread that word. I embrace it and I try to carry the word on as far as I can take it.

SPEAKER_02 7:19

But it in that in that you continue to move forward, and people don't understand, even in moving forward, would God give you purpose, there's still gonna be struggles. That's right. There's still gonna be hard times. Faith doesn't make things easy. That's right. Just because you have the faith to do something don't mean it's going to be the flower bed of ease. That's right. Faith just makes it possible. It is. And it carries you through what you need to accomplish. And I think that you accomplish that because you know how to transition. One of the things we've seen you do is transition. That's right. From mayor to representative, back to mayor, back to running the funeral home. Family business? Legacy. I mean the legacy of the SV. So you continue to do that, man.

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yeah, well, you know, I I love to point out um one um struggle. Um, and I knew that when what we had to do, and and let's just say, you know, I'm grounded in politics, but the spirituality is the important part. And a lot of people don't know this. City Hall for 50 years, even beyond 50 years, they would um gavel in um before my time, and they would stand and just say, silently, have a moment of silence, and it would acknowledge to say, pray to whoever you pray to. And they didn't say anything, they didn't um acknowledge him. And I would I was sitting in the back of the room and I was wondering why was this happening? And I talked to the lawyer during that time, and this is before I became mayor, and they said, Well, legally, you know, you don't want to say the word of God because that shouldn't cross before a meeting or in governmental fashion. And I said, Really? And I made a promise right then before I became mayor. I said, God, if you put me in that seat, I will openly speak your name before every single meeting, before this stars, so you can bless this house and what this city is trying to accomplish. And it ended that practice that was as far back as 50 years of not speaking the word of God before a meeting and with an open prayer. And to this day, um, the new administration, they are doing a prayer before they start the meeting. And I can't imagine a world where I start to lead a city without acknowledging God first. I just can't imagine.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

And that and that is significant. Yes, sir, because the word of the Lord tells us in all that ways acknowledge him and he shall direct your path. So that was that was purposeful. And when a city has that type of acknowledgement, they don't know that they are inviting uh greater power, which is him, God, to direct which way they should go. And I believe I know it has succeeded for the city of Clarkville. I know it has made great success by acknowledging him. We can talk politics, but this is what I want to keen in on. Okay, we know you that's right, okay in the political arena. That's right, but can't talk to you unless we talk politics. It's part of the nature. Yeah, it's part of the nature. But what has been the most your children, from what I hear, are all trying to obtain and going to be lawyers. Yes. How in the world? Man.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

Now, how did that happen to come over the name? You know, I'm gonna say that um And that's great. It is a blessing. That's great. It's a blessing. It's a blessing to see them blossom in such a manner that they want to, they're propelled. Um, but I'm gonna share with you one of the main catalysts why they turned to the law. Um my children saw so many people that were disenfranchised in my administration, and they saw that over the years how people would come up to the funeral home and ask for help, and our people did not have access. And what the the gates of the the institution of law, uh, what it does, it grants access and protection, and it helps the most vulnerable people. Um, one of the the most traumatic stories that I've ever seen that walk through the doors, and um my wife was privy to this conversation. And this is why my daughters, why my son, what what they're doing is understanding that in the Mississippi Delta, if you do not have access, you may not have power to change things. And so a young lady from Quitman County, I'm not gonna give her name, she walked into our establishment and she talked about how a particular lawyer that had generations of lawyers in their family, third-generation lawyers, um, her family was due a settlement of something that happened, a tragic death of her family member. And this particular law firm literally did a settlement and also became the trustee of this individual's estate. Now, in knowing this, they settled with the rail company and they handled the money, and the family never received one dime of that money. And when the young lady started to say, Well, why didn't we receive anything? the response of this lawyer, a third-generation lawyer over in Quitman County, told this young lady, if you don't get out of my office, I'll have you arrested. Now, she didn't know what to do. Um, she came to my office and we had a discussion, it was heartbreaking. We got her to some other attorneys, and now they're proceeding with trying to get some type of restitution for what has happened. And that particular law firm, um, there's a review board of things just like this. And this is the backbone of why my family has existed. Um, it's been a long-standing discussion to treat all people with dignity and respect. And this lady was not treated with respect at all. And so that's how you start to form opinions and thoughts about what career should your kids take. And when they see those injustices, they want to stand up.

SPEAKER_02 15:08

So you you exposed them to you didn't hide what you were having to deal with and how things were going. They were exposed to that. So how has your since since they are all in college, how how has your parenting changed?

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Well, you know, with young people. You've shown them that, so that that made them think of that path to go in because you showed them those things, so that gave them a heart to help those persons. So, how has that parent your parenting changed his day and working on that now?

SPEAKER_00 15:50

Well, let's say this what do we expose our children to, right? And if we're in the home exposing them to not a direction, let's just say if we were just dormant, you know, just sitting there and not doing anything, you know, we would feel our home, honestly, with helping our kids to be aggressive readers when they were children. Um, we would give them public speaking um opportunities in the house, and we would stand them on an ottoman and have them stand and read out loud to weed out the nervousness in reading. And so that background for them gave them a good pathway. And then so when they they got to their teenage years, um the path changed because you saw the different personality start to form. And so the direction that you started to do then was start to talk about, you know, be grounded in what you believe in, stand up for what you believe in, and aggressively monetize that because it will provide you a financial future to help up help your own family.

SPEAKER_02 17:09

Do you see them being competitive with each other and doing well? How much competition do they throw to each other? Well, let's just say this. Okay, four of them in school. Well, three, three, three, three, three, three, three. In school, working on low degrees.

SPEAKER_00 17:26

That's right. Jeez. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, so I know they competitive. Let's say this. The one that I could give, and I and I know they wouldn't mind me saying this. I don't know that you know how they say they're they're so private, you know, and like, damn, why would you say that? But um one, the oh, I'm trying not to reveal too much. But okay, okay, so here's what I can say. One, we we had blazed a path for one to go to the same law school where the other one was.

SPEAKER_01 17:58

Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_00 17:59

And there was no plausible reason to not go.

unknown 18:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:04

But they said, no, I'm not going. The identity that, and this, I was like, what is wrong with you? You know, you guys can stay in the same apartment, you can do this, you can do that. And but what had happened, this particular the the the fire person, the fire in the belly of one of the children had sold such a great seed to in that at that um institution where she was she's well known. And the other child didn't want to come behind that. So they said, We're gonna I'm gonna I'm gonna put my own flag somewhere else. And I didn't quite understand. I said, Why would you take the path that's um the least resistant? Exactly. And she said, No, no, no, no, I'm gonna do my own thing. And so it's kind of interesting to see the personalities and uh what they've come out to, but but I'm I'm very proud of them. They're doing well, they're they're really doing well.

SPEAKER_02 19:00

What are some of the things that they may have taught you that surprise you that you can think of? Because sometimes afterwards can do some stuff and be like, hmm.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

They got that in the man. Let me let me say the the biggest one. Um I watched a my my son, I only have one son. Okay. And he was he's very interesting, very interesting individual. Um so there are three Henry Espies, right? Everybody calls me Chuck, that's just a nickname, real name's Henry. My dad is junior, um, my I'm the third, my son is the fourth. Correct. And I watched how easily everything happened for my dad. You know, Henry Espie has a life of his own, right? He's he's the big Espy, right? We call him Big Espie. And, you know, people naturally gravitate to him. You know, it's just natural, it's good. Okay. But for me, um, you know, I've always had to struggle, you know, I had to just make the connections and things like that. So to see my son, and um I watched him at Mississippi Valley, and it was great that he was able to go into the Delta, a strong Delta school. And I watched him be so charismatic. Um he's very laid back, but he cares about people. And I and at times I'm thinking he was too laid back. I'm like, man, you gotta do this, you gotta do this to make it happen. And he's actually shown me that sometimes you don't have to be so aggressive and moving forward to try to make something happen. And the people gravitated to him in Mississippi Valley. Um, the the the staff and administration, they're very beautiful there um at Valley. Um they took him in and it became a whole nother world at MBSU for him. That's my dad's alma mater. Really? Okay. That's right. I'm Southern Knight. I'm Southern Alkonite, Southern, I mean, but he chose Valley.

SPEAKER_01 21:15

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

And um the people were kind and very nice, but they said he has a genuine personality and people gravitated to him. But when I thought he had to work the system, you know, to really drive it home, he he it flowed like a river at Valley for him. And um, so I was I'm very happy for him. And so sometimes when I go around the Greenwood, Itabena, Indianola area, and people are from Valley, you know, I'm knowing everyone knows Chuck. And they say, Well, you're Henry's dad. I'm like, yeah, yes. So, you know, your kids start flipping. He flipped the script. But um, but he led his fraternity, um, Omega Sophie fraternity. Which my dad is an Omega, I'm an Omega. And he did such a magnificent job. He's led the chapter there. They believed in him. And I'm very proud of his leadership skills.

SPEAKER_02 22:12

And he is laid back. He is. He is. He took more of Lynn's aspect.

SPEAKER_00 22:18

He did.

SPEAKER_02 22:18

He did. He did. So everyone knows that very chill, but that's what you wanted him to be. You thought he was going to have to go in and just that's right. And that's key. That's right. That's key. But understand, his aggressiveness is calm.

SPEAKER_00 22:36

It is. And you know, I've never seen that. You know, my way has always been uh rough and tumble. Rough and tum. And you know, they say if you want to get something, the slit chamber, go extra. But um, but his approach is very different, and and I'm very proud of that. So uh, you know, I I wish him all the success. Um, but he'll he'll be down there at Southern University's Law School. Okay. And so he's gonna have a really wonderful time. And um, but uh, you know, I wish them all the best, you know, and and I see so many of our young adults. I'm thinking that all of the children, you know, that I see, you wonder, are they getting it right? There are some beautiful, bright minds um that are coming out of MVSU. Um, you should see it. So everything that we see on social media is not happening on the flight.

SPEAKER_02 23:30

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 23:31

It's really not. It's not. It's not. You got some very strong kids, young adults that are coming out and they are prepared.

SPEAKER_02 23:38

Yes, they are prepared. And the the majority. And that's what I like about it. So even in looking at our young people, what what are some lessons you think you wished you had to learn earlier when you look back?

SPEAKER_00 23:51

Yeah, um, to be very honest, the the when you soul search, um I don't see the the um financial skills. Um it wasn't taught, and it's still not being taught. Um I probably would have been more successful if I had known about the the power of leveraging funds, um, leveraging assets, and we're missing a major component of wealth by not teaching our young kids about wealth building. Um, you know, when I grew up, and you know, when we grew up, our parents told us stay out of trouble and get your education.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

You know, and it and that was almost the measure of success. You know, my child stayed out of trouble and they graduated. But the game is really much more sophisticated, and especially when you can build wealth and become a multimillionaire at a very young age. So I would say some of the lessons, now I'm not faulting my parents. By no stretch of the imagination, they they did everything that they could, and I love them dearly. But the the side of wealth building is not being taught at age 14, 15. Um, there should be some level of instead of buying what you want for your 15th birthday, it should be some level of investment at 15. And I believe that the the wealth game starts when you're at the first beginning of a teenager. And even though your parents can do something when you're born, but for for that individual around 13, 14, and 15, that child needs to be investing, needs to be shown that about the stock market, needs to be shown about real estate, needs to be shown about how compound interest works. And so I didn't receive that until I um graduated Southern. And I began to build a portfolio and things like that. But it could have happened much earlier. And, you know, and people say, well, when I get my tax return, I'm gonna go buy myself something, or I'm gonna go take a family vacation. Well, when you receive a tax return, you should invest it immediately. Go work for a vacation or television or whatever the case may be. But those types of one-time monies that come into your life that are tax free should be rolled into an immediate investment opportunity.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

And that's something that that, yeah, should be taught. And I miss those days of getting those refund checks.

SPEAKER_00 26:57

That's right. Just think about it. Well, I don't get it. You don't get it.

SPEAKER_02 27:00

I'm like, oh, when you say that, I was like, you know what? I miss those days. Because I'm sitting here like looking at what I got to pay back now. That's right. Think about it. The 15th was, and I'm like, oh God. And you look at them like trying to get those deductions and try to do that, miss them days when it used to be like that.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

So think about if you were investing, and if I were investing at the age of 15. Exactly, you know, to some basic staple company.

SPEAKER_02 27:26

Right. But where would it be now?

SPEAKER_00 27:28

Absolutely. Look at Apple right now. You know, Apple was at $40, now is at almost $300. I mean, the the opportunity is really there for our young adults to make a substantial amount of money if they would just take the $50, the $20, the $100, and just simply so, so I think them knowing it because mine of looking at 401ks, and I'm so glad that that happened just because of the company I worked for.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

There you go. That I could do 401k and all those investments. Now my son is talking about crypto and all this stuff, and I'm like, I'm getting, and we have this thing called guide of choice. It shows you how to invest, which actually does it for you. Okay. You know what I did? I just got him on the phone with them and let them talk to him. That's okay. There you go. That way he could learn. Like you said, some of them are not learning at an early age, but when he started questioning me about it, I was like, wait a minute. If this is part of his interest, I don't want him to get it all off social media. Because some of the stuff you know that's out there is not clear, is not good, is not the right conversation. Some, some, not all of them. But I said, well, let me get him with somebody that knows the stuff and really know how to divide it and put it out there. So that's so true. I wished I had done that earlier in life. Yeah. Because if I had known it earlier, I would be flowing better than what I'm blowing now, you know. Very easy. So what are some of your role models? Who are some of your role models now? When you look back, who were some of the role models that you had?

SPEAKER_00 29:06

Well, I am gonna say this to you. Um, you know, the the the strongest role model, we we're getting ready uh with through Trent Calvin. We're getting ready to honor Trent.

SPEAKER_02 29:18

Trent, do you hear that? Trent, you always be behind the camera. That's right. I ought to take his picture, but can't turn the camera. Can't turn the camera on. He's sitting there with headphones on smile.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

Yeah, man. Listen, um, shout out to Trent Calvin. Um, very amazing. Um, we had an opportunity even work um during the city hall times, and I mean, he took something that was a disaster and made it amazing. So, I mean, shouts out to Trent. Um, but right now we're working on something that um a very strong individual that was my family member, um, TJ Huddleston. Okay. This is the man that started all of the funeral homes, had a credit union, um, had a newspaper, and this was during the 1920s, okay?

SPEAKER_01 30:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:04

And, you know, this was some of Mississippi's first black millionaires, okay? It's one guy in the 1920s, right? How is that even possible? But what TJ Huddleston, his catalyst or or his um the muse that happened, and this is a very terrible story. Um, during that time, you know that our people were not admitted into hospitals. You could not, you couldn't go into a white hospital at all. And there was a young lady in Yazoo City, Mississippi. She was pregnant. She went to the back door of an all-white hospital. Okay. She knocked on the door and said, My water is broken. I need help. The nurse informed her that you cannot come in here at all. And she shut the door. A hospital shut its doors to a woman that was pregnant and about to have going to labor. 15 feet from that hospital door, she squatted in the middle of a cotton field, lost her child, and she lost her life in the back door of an all-white hospital. Now, TJ Huddleston could have protested, you know, you know, let's get let's fight, but his way of fighting was very different. He picked that young lady up and her unborn child that died right in a cotton field. He went all across the state of Mississippi and he said, if you give me a dollar for a brick, I will build us a hospital. And he opened up the first ever in Mississippi, Sons and Afro-American hospital, sons and daughter Afro-American hospital in the state of Mississippi, where tens of thousands of children were born at that hospital. This man was well before his time, I mean light years. For him to have the ability to galvanize people, to build a hospital is amazing. But let alone have a credit union, have 14 funeral homes, and to start even a newspaper to get the word out about what was happening in the state. So in my mind, you know, I summons the power of this great individual.

SPEAKER_02 32:42

Um, and his didn't your family have something to do with that too?

SPEAKER_00 32:46

Oh, absolutely. This is my grandmother. That's what I've his son, his daughter.

SPEAKER_02 32:51

It's my grandmother. I've I've read that history. Yes, sir. So you you are that's where your legacy comes from. Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Wow. And that's something a lot of our generation under us do not know. No, no, that's just how deep your roots are on. Yes, sir. Wow. Yes, sir. That's that's a great connection.

SPEAKER_00 33:15

This man was um, he was charismatic. He knew how to during those times deal with that white establishment and maneuver uh without getting killed. You understand how difficult that that time was, even now, but how difficult it was then for our people.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

And that that wasn't too long ago. Count the number of years that that was. That that wasn't matter of fact, I don't think um people understand how old the civil rights movement is. That it is not an old movement. That's right. It's been where are we at now? 70 years? That's right. Maybe 70 years later that of the civil rights movement. So it's still fresh if you look at it. But that's why we continue to push through it. Continue to make changes that they are trying to unravel our government. I mean, if if they knew the significance of that. So, man, you here with a purpose. Yes, sir. Because it runs in your blood.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

I ask people to look at this all the time when they say that, you know, Chuck, you should stop beating the drum of the civil rights era and and why um black people are disenfranchised and they say, Chuck, that's old. Well, if you really think about it, just imagine if we were running a foot race, you know, it was a hundred-meter run, right? And let's say if someone had during the 1900s, their father was able to be a medical doctor in the early 1900s, and he has a son, and his son was free to read, um, go to school, and the doctor in the early 1900s, his son now becomes a doctor. Now remember, during that period, our people, if if we were caught with a book, we could have our tongue cut out of our mouth, or we could be killed. Um, but just keep going. That's that first generation of doctors. So he has a second generation of doctors. Then let's say, let's fast forward to 1960. There would be a third generation doctor in that family. Just think about the generational wealth, just think about the head start. But our people were steady just simply fighting for basic equality to be able to have home ownership. Um separated from the husband. So imagine that head start, if you're in a hundred-meter run and someone is ahead of you by 50 meters, and they say, now go. So I challenge people all the time to say, if you feel in 2026 that our people have become equal, I said, just think about three to four generations that were able to have successful generations of doctors. And now we're just in our second generation of having African Americans as generational doctors. So that sounds like two generations ahead of time. So I tell everyone to walk delicately when having those discussions.

SPEAKER_02 37:06

But don't dismiss the history. That's right. Don't dismiss the history. You cannot dismiss the history of what went on. That's right. Because if you dismiss the history, something's gonna repeat itself. That's right. Absolutely. And I encourage you to keep being the drawing. Yes, sir. Because it's just in your blood, man. It's in your blood to keep it rolling. What do you do in your free time now? Uh, you know, okay. It's not really free time, but what do you do?

SPEAKER_00 37:34

Well because you were so involved, man. Let me tell you this. Um, free time, I you know, I love the work. I'm a workaholic. Um, I really like to deal with construction, the family, the funeral home business, century funeral home. Um it's it's my first love, will always be the love of the family. Um, so between century and construction projects, that's what I primarily spend my time doing. Now, on that off time, all right. I'm not the best golfer, but I do play golf. All right, and uh, but I and I hate to say this, I know we're on a spiritual kind of broadcast. I'm a poker player. Listen, I'm I'm a big poker player.

SPEAKER_02 38:13

And and and this is what I have to deal with with you every time. Doing stuff.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

I'm looking for the big I love to play poker. I'm a big poker player. You put nine people around the table. And uh man, I just love the um to have the winning hand against someone that thought they had to win it. So that's that's my that's my vibe. I'm not sure. I'm a poker player. I like to play poker.

SPEAKER_02 38:44

How good I use my question.

SPEAKER_00 38:47

Well, you know, before everyone really started to play, to be honest with you, um, before everyone really, it's become like a real math, a game of math now. And um, when some of the novice were really playing, I would really, really win back in the day. But now it's um, I'm gonna say if it's if 10 is the best and one you just awful, I may be a six, maybe a six. So, you know, I'm not a Phil Ivory or anything like that, but uh but I'm a good player. Man, I hear you.

SPEAKER_02 39:19

I hear you.

SPEAKER_00 39:20

So you'll see me some nights playing poker. So that's that's what I do.

SPEAKER_02 39:25

I'm not gonna mess with you. I'm not gonna mess with you. But what do you see for the next phase of your life at this stage?

SPEAKER_00 39:38

The next phase, um, this downtime is really important. Um right now, I think this is the time that you work on your marriage. Um, you take time to um be patient with your spouse. Um, do a reconnect because once you come out of years of politics, um you were on a hamster wheel, just constantly running. True. And so we're trying to find our way together to have more of not doing anything in the moment, but just sharing in moments of sitting together, talking. Um that's what it takes.

SPEAKER_02 40:23

When I got married, the first thing my parents told me, don't ever stop talking to each other. And I think people understand I don't I don't care if you're Christian, Buddhist, anything. You are two different people coming together with two different backgrounds, two different sets of values, and both man and woman. There's just different people. That's right. That's right, that's right. And you have to learn each other. It's a continuous conversation to learn. And Cher and I just learned to sometimes agree to disagree. To disagree. Some things you just not gonna agree on, some things you just but you yet love each other. That's right. There's always gonna be issues, there's always gonna be stuff that comes up, but love through it. Yes, and like I said, my parents told me when I got married, they'd be like, don't ever stop talking, that's right, don't ever stop communicating, don't ever, don't ever stop communicating. I don't care how mad you be with each other, and it'd be some heated moments. It'll be some heated moments. Yes, in marriage, it takes patience, it takes time. And I think a lot of us don't talk about that a lot. That when you are in a marriage, that you've got to be willing to just sometime bite the bullet and say, hey, let me listen, let me hear. And then women understand, we listen, we trying to figure it out. They're gonna talk. While they're talking, we're trying to process how can I fix this? How can I do this right? How can I continue to make sure she's secure? Two people coming together.

SPEAKER_00 42:17

Yeah, I told you. Two people coming together.

SPEAKER_02 42:19

It's really it's tough to continue to love each other.

SPEAKER_00 42:22

Yeah, it's really tough. And and no one has these real honest discussions. I mean, I was just before I was turning in here, my heart goes out to the lieutenant governor and his wife, and especially the children in Virginia. Um, it's it was so disturbing to hear about that. I know. And, you know, look, I'm I've never been a perfect husband. Never. Um my wife and I got divorced, then we got remarried. So that's a that's a blessing in itself. But the struggle is real. And I really wish that there was real dialogue on how to give all of this knowledge that I have, the, the, the ups and downs and the give and takes on both parts, before young people say I do, it really has to be a hard discussion on, and I'm not saying that this didn't happen to us, but you know, what if as a man are you ready that if your wife has cancer, you know, if you if the husband has prostate cancer, let's say just any struggle.

SPEAKER_02 43:40

Just any struggle.

SPEAKER_00 43:41

But I'm saying the marriage is is really something that can be the strongest foundation on the planet, or you can watch the earth crack right under your feet and you don't understand why. And I and I wish it was just more. Um work on this for young couples to help them to try to stay together through tough times.

SPEAKER_02 44:10

But this is the thing. You all still came back together to stay committed to each other. That's right. And that's something you don't have to even be down about, is because you all agreed. That was the agreement you made to each other that, hey, we're gonna work through this. We're gonna do this together. And the thing that people won't do now is remain committed to each other. Correct. Regardless of what it is. And that's the thing that God honors is you stay committed. That hey, we may have messed this up or I messed this up. We don't blame, we say, hey, are we gonna commit to each other? Are we gonna work through this? That's what y'all doing. That's what we all are doing. Working through it and loving each other. That's the key, man. Love covers a multitude of faults, and you remain committed.

SPEAKER_00 45:08

Pastor, you know what I'm saying? I see so many people struggling with this, though. And I see so many people.

SPEAKER_02 45:17

But but it's not a struggle when it's you a lot of times we look at other folk. If you and your spouse agree to work through it, it's nobody else's.

SPEAKER_00 45:28

That's right. That's right. That's right.

SPEAKER_02 45:30

That's you all working through it. That's you all walking through it.

SPEAKER_00 45:35

Keep rolling. I wish I could, you know, maybe with especially people, men and women that are in the political arena, so much comes at you through that. It's not just the stress of the job, but it is so much temptation. Um and then the devil creeps in even into your wife's thoughts, and both parties. So you have a man that's dealing with so much, so many vices, and then the insecurity begins to creep in. And when you see those things, I wish there was a tutorial session. Um, like almost like somebody can teach politics one-on-one when it comes to your marriage, and um talk about what's coming your way as you enter that world because I have seen so many um political families um end in divorce. And I and I speak very openly about this. Um, my father was in politics from a very young age, and my mother and father did not make it in their marriage. They they got married backwards and forward and ultimately ended in divorce. There was a lot learned from that. And even though I attempted to say, aha, I see all of the pitfalls that my mother and father went through, I won't make those pitfalls. But I was subject to some of the same, identical pitfalls that my father did. And I've prayed about this and I have uh reconciled a lot of this in my head, but it is almost like when we talk about a legacy piece, and I and I think this is so important. I like to have a real talk about these type of things, that even though the family legacy had been strong, but what else was I claiming in that legacy? And I am bent, um, I am very strong in my conviction with God that I want to break any of those type of negative legacies that has been around my family. And um, and it's a struggle every single day.

SPEAKER_02 47:59

And every everyone everyone has those struggles, and a lot of times you have to break those uh generational curses. Curses that are there. Yes, sir. And from what can I say what I'm hearing?

SPEAKER_00 48:15

Yes, sir. Say it.

SPEAKER_02 48:16

You had to get through it, go through it, establish the trust again. Make sure she for her to accept you back, you you you made her confident and helped her gain her trust back in you. And your trust back in each other. That's the key. When you win and trust each other again to keep moving, but you had to walk through it, you had to regain it. That's right. A lot of us, I was telling my children, a lot of people post their highs. They never show you all the lows. That's right. Thomas Edison tried how many times? Thousands of times. But through those thousand times, we magnify the high of he got it right. But he always magnifies, I found that how not to do it. And that's what we do in everything, even in marriage. We find it okay. Oh I can't do this, or I bet not, I bet not say this to him. It'll trigger something. We walk through it and we learn. And that's the part I'm looking at is that, hey, you learn, you roll. But look at the end result. You're still committed to each other. Regardless, regardless of the outside chatter, regardless of who's saying what, y'all back with each other.

SPEAKER_01 49:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 49:48

And you're trusting and rolling with each other. That's all that matters.

SPEAKER_00 49:51

And we're determined to not let that type of legacy go to the next generation. That's right. And that's what we're we're really fighting for. You know, when you've identified something like that, and and that has been um, unfortunately, inside of the ESP family for some time. And when you see that, and you, you know how they say, if you know better, you should be able to do better. And so I'm so proud of my forefathers, um, the resiliency of my dad and other family members, that once you've identified what is happening in your family, you do corrective action. That's right. And so, you know, everyone wants to talk about the beautiful side, but there is a lesson to be learned about how to conduct business. If you're if you're claiming politics and owning the business and doing all these grand things, there's a lot that comes with that. And you have to navigate through it. And so, you know, the lesson is if we can take the lessons and grow from the next generation and pass the baton to our kids and they stand off of our shoulders, hopefully it'll propel them to be much better human beings than their father, my father before, and my father's father. And that's what the hope is. That's, you know, they say you get to a certain point in life and you start to figure out what are you really living for? Um, hopefully that when our children begin to have children, they will take the teachings and they will understand that they're living for God and they're living to pass to Baton to make their generation grow to the next level. Man, what you say.

SPEAKER_02 52:03

I hope you know you were talking about those generational curses. My my family is health-wise.

SPEAKER_00 52:15

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:16

Um, and in my family that's diabetes, uh, congestive heart failure. And when I saw myself, my my father died in his sleep at 61.

SPEAKER_00 52:29

Wow. 61. I did not know that the age.

SPEAKER_02 52:31

I didn't know the age. Dad was 61 years old, just slept away from here. Um and I saw myself going down that same page. And I said, wait a minute, I don't want my children to see me doing this. It wasn't nothing against what he done, but that was something that was that he could have handled, but didn't make it a priority. So I started making my health a priority. Broke that generational curse of how I ate. That's right. My children see me go to the gym. They see me go walking. I had to break that. I've lost 150 pounds in about a year. Yeah, a year. Still trying to get it off. Still trying to get the rest of it off. And you look at it. You look real though. Thank you, sir. That's right. I'm still trying to handle it because I'm like, I need to break this. And many folk don't look at, don't identify that generational pattern that needs to be broken. And there are so many that need to be broken when people look at it and say, hey, this is a part that I need to break. So me doing that, my children change. They even have, even in in, in stuff, well, I wouldn't say children now, because they they don't know. Yeah, yeah. They're gonna still be our kids. I put I put stuff out, fruits, stuff like that. Try not to have chips, all this stuff in the house. Remove that stuff so they can get that mindset and that habit of, hey, I can't do this. This runs, and I remind them, hey, this runs in our families. Right. That's right. This runs in your bloodline. This has to change, because if you don't change it, it's gonna be detrimental to you. So, man, you said a mouthful when you said that if you had to give your younger self advice, now what would you say to your younger self?

SPEAKER_00 54:38

Well, then the younger self, when I look back, oh my goodness, that younger chuck, he really thought he had it off. I mean, oh my goodness, didn't we all? Listen, I was at, I'll never forget, I was at a point. I was like, um in that first crossing from 19 to 20, I was like telling people, uh, you can't jump over that mountain, step back. Watch out, watch out, let me jump, let me show you how to do it. So, you know, I had that Superman mentality in your thoughts.

SPEAKER_02 55:07

Um and you had lost that energy, just so you know. You have not lost it, junk. You still getting it.

SPEAKER_00 55:15

Um going back, um, you know, I you know, I try to be look in these conversations, I I hope the takeaway, um, I hope people don't view this as um, I want to be truthful because I what I found that the more truthful you are in what you're saying, it may help someone. Exactly. So I don't want people to take this for, you know, wow, he's really talking some really deep things that is happening in his life. But I'm gonna share this with you. During those times, um had a very interesting life growing up as a child. It was good, great, you know, everything, ups and downs, you know, seeing a lot of things, right? But you have to know how to pray. You you have to um growing up, you know, I went to Sunday school, you know, my mother, we we talked, had Bible study, you know, we went through all of those things. And when I was younger, I was going through the motion. Okay. You know, how and you're reading the Bible, you know, let's say it's like a um before you pray, you know, you pray at night and sometimes you fall asleep in the middle of the prayer. And when you've gone through those things as a child, you didn't understand the truthful impact because you were just going through the motion. You know, we it was grounded in us, go to Sunday school, go to you know, Bible study. You know, it was really, and we highlighted Bible, you know. You grew up in my house, didn't you? I got it. I got it. And it was beautiful. Uh-huh. Um, it was beautiful. But as I've gotten older, I wish I had known how to apply that more when I was a young kid, because I was just reading words on the, you know, just flipping the page, you know, almost like I'm just committing it to memory, but not living it. And I wish I could go back and say those words have meaning. Those words people have died for. You know, that is sacrifice in those words. And look, I am who I am today because of where I've come from, but those words would have sold a much stronger seed, and I would have been more grounded growing up as a young adult. And it just took some trials and tribulations to get to where I am today. So am I proud of where I am and do I have any regrets? The answer is really no, but I can look back and I can just see that if I had studied a little harder and turned the page a little more, um, some things in life wouldn't have happened. But I am thankful that I have repented. I'm thankful. Restoration is that's right. I am thankful that God chose me. He he touched me and I gave my life to him. And a lot of people don't want to bend the knee. And I thank God that I bent to the knee and he saved me. And I'm no more than, if you walk on a beach, I'm no more than a little pebble of sand, and I recognize that. And I'm thankful every single morning that I wake up, I say, I love you, God, and thank you. Every morning. And I say it out loud. Um, my kids were on the phone one day, and they happen to, they call and they happen to be the first thing. And I say it then they like, Dad, what are you talking about? It's I recognize now, now the power of God. And I am thankful that I didn't learn that lesson too late. I'm very thankful.

SPEAKER_02 59:52

That's key. I'm very thankful. That is key. Yep. Man, thank you so much for being here. Thank you so much for being a part of this conversation. If you only knew the people that will benefit from the conversation that we're having right now. So many turns. Life brings you so many turns. But we have watched each other. That's right. Take those turns, take those places, take the opportunities, take the downturns. You're talking about God being in the valley with you, he's a lily in the valley. We've had him be the lily in the valley for us and also celebrate those mountaintop experiences. Ladies and gentlemen, Chuck Eksby here with me with a great conversation right here on practical living. Make sure you like and share. Make sure you like and share, and join us on the next episode. This is the man. This is the legacy. Chuck Exby. Thank you, man. Absolutely. Thank you. That's a rap.