Ep 666 - "Fat Funky and Free"

In the Sixth episode of Death Drop Dead, Boo! Khakii and Cl!toraaa Hood speak all things Cl!tty, discuss a listeners haunted home and introduce a new "Docuseries" about local Folklore. 

Did a spirit make our camera malfunction? Why does Cl!tty relate to 666? Where DID Boo! find this story?! 

Stay Spooky 'ox

Ways to reach us:

• Instagram - @deathdropdead_
• TikTok - @deathdropdead_
• Youtube - Death Drop Dead 
• Email - deathdropdeadpod@gmail.com

Do you want to feature on the pod? Send us your creepy stories and your unexplained dreams, or do you know of any ookie spooky locations that we can visit, let us know. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:10

It's not I'm having an aberration on my knee Hey, that's my clitoris. This is a real disorder me. I'm a raging big old lesbian hetero. Hetero. H-E-T-E-R-Strong O.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

Hetero sexual walla.

SPEAKER_02 0:33

Oh voila. Wallah, that's like that good brand of hairspray, isn't it?

SPEAKER_08 0:37

Oh, well uh.

SPEAKER_02 0:38

Wella. Yeah.

SPEAKER_08 0:40

Under my um, but well uh, well uh, well uh she's on them Victorian ghost.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

We love blyf blah, blif blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. That's so millennial of me. Sorry, I can't talk today.

SPEAKER_09 0:56

Sorry, I can't do English. English is not my friend.

SPEAKER_08 1:00

Ollie, hola, que tal?

SPEAKER_04 1:05

Moi Biantu Moy Cansada.

SPEAKER_10 1:09

Oh, estoy muy cansada.

SPEAKER_04 1:11

Ah, sí, sí.

SPEAKER_08 1:12

Oh Dios mío.

SPEAKER_06 1:15

Porque that was me in Spain. Oh, what are boys? Ninos! Aki!

SPEAKER_02 1:27

That is Glitura Hood, who has now taken over Espania.

SPEAKER_06 1:32

That is Bukaki, who hasn't.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Dickhead. And this is this is you, isn't it? Yes. I'm so sorry, I'm I've feed your words. I'm greedy.

SPEAKER_04 1:45

And this is what I what is it?

SPEAKER_06 1:52

Episode six, baby. Let's talk about you and me.

SPEAKER_08 1:57

Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that may be. Let's talk about sex. A little bit, a little bit. Let's talk about sex, baby.

SPEAKER_04 2:08

Baby, all through the night I'll make love to you.

SPEAKER_08 2:14

Like you want me to. And I guess it's just the woman in you that brings out the man in me. Boom, boom, boom! It feels like the first time. It feels like the very first time.

SPEAKER_06 2:36

It feels like the first time. And I don't know her bit because I don't like it. That ruins the whole riff off. Yeah, it's awful. The whole riff off is ruined due to anakendrick.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Well, that is so much fun. Episode um pitch perfect.

SPEAKER_06 2:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:53

Yeah. So Clitty Clint, how have you been? I've been good. What you've been up to in our little hiatus from the podcast. We didn't say why. We had a hiatus because what has happened, Clint.

SPEAKER_06 3:06

I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 3:07

Well, we released it.

SPEAKER_06 3:08

Oh yeah. I was going through my head like, what have I done?

SPEAKER_02 3:12

What have I done?

SPEAKER_06 3:13

Like, yeah. We've been able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 3:15

Yeah, we've released it officially published. So you we are a few episodes ahead of ourselves. Yeah. Just because we live a busy lifestyle, so we need forward plan. So apologies, but we are officially out on the open.

SPEAKER_06 3:30

Oh, not me.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

No, no, you're Petty.

SPEAKER_06 3:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 3:34

Petty Claire.

SPEAKER_06 3:35

Hetero.

SPEAKER_02 3:36

Hetero.

SPEAKER_06 3:37

Hetero.

SPEAKER_02 3:38

H-E-T-E-R strong O.

SPEAKER_03 3:39

Hetero sexual.

SPEAKER_02 3:42

Oh, voila. Wallah that's like that good brand of hairspray, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 3:46

Oh, well uh.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Wella, yeah. Under my arm, but well uh, well ah, well uh, gorgeous. We're so musical today.

SPEAKER_06 3:55

I know.

SPEAKER_02 3:55

So you've been good then?

SPEAKER_06 3:56

Yeah, I've been um I've been on Hollybobs.

SPEAKER_02 3:58

You've been on Holly tell us all where'd you go?

SPEAKER_06 4:01

I'm tanned.

SPEAKER_02 4:01

She's tanned out. That's why she's wearing white, so it looks like she's more tanned than she is.

SPEAKER_06 4:05

Oh, I will get my tan lines up. I thought you could say you'll get your tits out, and I was so your tits for the lads.

SPEAKER_02 4:14

Footballers. You can tell we've been away from this. This is chaotic as anything.

SPEAKER_06 4:18

So yeah, I went to Spain.

SPEAKER_02 4:19

Oh, that's why she's Spanish.

SPEAKER_06 4:21

Yeah, yeah. Because um, I went to Spain with my dad, um, his mum, and um my kids.

SPEAKER_02 4:29

Stunning. You had a good time.

SPEAKER_06 4:30

Yeah, it was lovely. It did rain most of the time. I had three days of sun.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

And you still tanned?

SPEAKER_06 4:36

Yeah, I still got tanned. I did sit in the park though the other day with you.

SPEAKER_02 4:39

Yeah, we did sit in the park together.

SPEAKER_06 4:40

No, that's not when I tanned us, tanned in my mum's garden.

SPEAKER_02 4:43

Oh, you did.

SPEAKER_06 4:44

The boys, the kids were in the pool, and I was just I was just laid there on a like a little chair like this.

SPEAKER_08 4:50

Give me, give me the sun.

SPEAKER_06 4:54

Give me the bloody body.

SPEAKER_02 4:56

I want vitamin D.

SPEAKER_06 4:57

Oh wait, that's not a joke with you, that's a joke of my mum that I've just said.

SPEAKER_02 5:00

I'm so embarrassed. Yeah. I feel so left out.

SPEAKER_06 5:03

Yeah, honestly, it's because of Alan Carr.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

What is that?

SPEAKER_06 5:05

Alan Carr and Tom Hardy. Tom Hardy's on Tom Hardy's on Alan Carr. And um Alan Carr brings out loads of dogs and like Tom Hardy loves dogs. And he wouldn't give the Bassett hound back, so Alan Carr goes, give me the bloody basset hound.

SPEAKER_09 5:24

I love Alan Carr.

SPEAKER_06 5:26

And yeah, me and Mum just piss ourselves at that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Incredible. Love, love, love.

SPEAKER_06 5:30

Fuck me.

SPEAKER_02 5:31

Me?

SPEAKER_06 5:31

No, me.

SPEAKER_02 5:32

Oh, she's inhaled microphone.

SPEAKER_06 5:34

Yeah. What are you gonna what you're trying to say? That I eat everything I look at.

SPEAKER_02 5:38

No, I say you inhale everything.

SPEAKER_06 5:40

Oh yum!

SPEAKER_02 5:42

I'm hungry. I mean, I am hungry.

SPEAKER_06 5:44

But you're making me cry my eyes are watering.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Oh, I see. That's what you call an abusive partnership. I've made her.

SPEAKER_06 5:50

I thought you were gonna say that's what you call fat. Fat with a pH. Fat with a she's getting no action. Stop. You can't say stuff like that. You're gonna have to take that out.

SPEAKER_02 6:04

That's alright, it's going. Let's go on. Chopped. Sayonara. Um, yeah, I've been alright.

SPEAKER_06 6:10

Oh no, honestly, I didn't give two shits if you're alright or not.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yeah, no. Um, been busy, been editing the podcast. I've been working, editing. I don't have a life, but we have been gymming quite a lot.

SPEAKER_06 6:21

Yeah, that's that's why. Sorry, more about me. Um strong legs now. I mean I don't think they're on the camera, so that's fine because where I just pushed that in there, that was just tubby tub tub tub.

SPEAKER_02 6:34

It was a little wee little bit of a chub.

SPEAKER_06 6:36

Yeah, but leg day's my favourite day.

SPEAKER_02 6:38

It is your favourite day. How much have you got up to on leg press?

SPEAKER_06 6:41

No, because that's 300.

SPEAKER_02 6:44

Well, you're not doing 360.

SPEAKER_06 6:45

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_02 6:46

She was doing 360 for reps, like I was doing um 24, 24 reps. Oh, you were doing 360 for 24?

SPEAKER_06 6:54

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, and three rounds.

SPEAKER_02 6:56

Cool, three rounds. Three sets. Yeah. Did you do a drop set at the end as well?

SPEAKER_06 7:00

No, they hurt too much for real.

SPEAKER_02 7:04

Um, so yeah, we've been gymming quite a bit. Yeah, I won't give you my actual but it is heavy. It is heavy. She has got strong old legs on her. Yeah. So yeah, I've been I've been cool. I've been alright.

SPEAKER_06 7:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:16

Can't lie.

SPEAKER_06 7:17

What did you do when I was on hollybobs?

SPEAKER_02 7:19

What did I do when you were on holiday actually? Worked. Oh yeah. Oh, I was um away for work. I was up in Manchester.

SPEAKER_06 7:26

No, you weren't, that was the week I got back.

SPEAKER_02 7:28

Lol. Um, what was I doing then? Because you are my personal diary. I don't have any memory.

SPEAKER_06 7:33

I think you had like you were at home a lot, but working at home when I was away. Or like in our area.

SPEAKER_02 7:40

I was, I was local. I wasn't travelling.

SPEAKER_06 7:42

And then as soon as I got back, you were like, Sayonara. Sayonara, I'm after Manchester. What language is that?

SPEAKER_02 7:48

Say.

SPEAKER_06 7:49

Yeah.

unknown 7:50

Spanish. I don't know.

SPEAKER_02 7:52

It's not in Duolingo. We're gonna say Spanish because Spanish is the superior language.

SPEAKER_06 7:58

What about Italiano?

SPEAKER_02 8:00

We can't say that.

SPEAKER_06 8:01

No, I'm saying you're sure that's not Italiano.

SPEAKER_02 8:03

Could be. I mean I can speak to me dead relatives.

SPEAKER_06 8:06

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 8:07

Ask them.

SPEAKER_06 8:08

No, because I've got so into sorry I'm boiling your conversation. Okay. Um I've got so into being Spanish that I'm even watching a Spanish teen drama. Oh, she is.

SPEAKER_02 8:16

What's the drama? Go and tell us all.

SPEAKER_06 8:17

Elite.

SPEAKER_02 8:18

Elite.

SPEAKER_06 8:18

I won't give anything away, but no, it's fucking incredible.

SPEAKER_02 8:21

So I have watched one episode, but I was season two. Yeah, I randomly it must have been when it was Aaron and Netflix. I was gonna say Spotify. Netflix naturally put that one on.

SPEAKER_06 8:30

Yeah, that's what happened to me with um and I didn't understand it, so I didn't watch it. Well, no, you wouldn't understand it because you don't speak Spanish.

SPEAKER_02 8:36

I speak English. Not back then. Not back then, I didn't know no, no.

SPEAKER_06 8:40

Um but I was confused because they when they say bye, they say chow.

SPEAKER_02 8:44

Yeah, chow's common.

SPEAKER_06 8:45

That's like and I was like, What? That's and so I Googled it. I was like, Why do Spanish people say chow? And they were like, it's just a common bye. Yeah, well, I've been walking around going adios, adios, adios, yeah, chow. Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_02 9:00

Chow, peace, peace, peace. It's so cunty. Um, so clitty click click clip.

SPEAKER_06 9:06

Quite simply, I really do hope that my legs aren't showing because I have cellulite.

SPEAKER_10 9:10

Cellulite.

SPEAKER_06 9:12

This whole episode is called Fat Funky and Me.

SPEAKER_02 9:15

Fat funky and free. That is the title, fat, funky and free. Absolutely. I love it.

SPEAKER_06 9:20

Hi guys, welcome to episode six, baby. This episode is called Fat I don't know what it was. Fat Fat Funky and Free.

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Oh, fat, funky and free.

SPEAKER_06 9:32

I could do a Siri voice.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

Go on, hit me, Siri.

SPEAKER_06 9:35

Ask me then. So hey Siri.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Hey Siri.

SPEAKER_06 9:37

Ask me something.

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Oh yeah. See, I'm a I'm a Googling.

SPEAKER_06 9:40

Ask Google then.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Um hey Google.

SPEAKER_06 9:43

Do they speak?

SPEAKER_02 9:44

Yeah, they respond.

SPEAKER_06 9:46

Hello, how can I help you?

SPEAKER_02 9:49

What the fuck? Hey Google, why am I so cunt?

SPEAKER_06 9:58

According to my calculation, cunt is a bad word. I cannot describe you right now. Thank you.

SPEAKER_02 10:09

Hey Google.

SPEAKER_04 10:11

Hi.

SPEAKER_02 10:11

Who is Clitor Hood? Sexy. Hey Google!

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Hi.

SPEAKER_02 10:18

Who is Bu Kaki? Ugly. Hey Google. I'm breaking up with you.

SPEAKER_06 10:27

Oh, that's sad. I have others I can be with.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Google is a slut, we have found out today. We're not to slut shame. I highly love all of her. Actions. Google has needs. Get them needs met, girly. Get them. Is that correct, English? Google has Google.

SPEAKER_06 10:46

Oh, I'm thinking of I have nodes.

SPEAKER_02 10:49

I have nodes. She's back in pitch perfect.

SPEAKER_06 10:52

It's as if we've watched it, but I really haven't.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

No, we haven't even watched it together, have we?

SPEAKER_06 10:58

There's hair in my mouth.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Have we ever watched it together now? Oh my days, I've just knocked myself out. Oh thank god. With my Audrey Hetband gloves.

SPEAKER_06 11:08

Huh.

SPEAKER_02 11:09

They're so kind of. They are cute. Please no. No. Oh, oh, uh, uh, ah, ah, ah. Love it. Um, Clitty. There's one oh Lord, what have I? I've really fucked this up. There's one thing. Can you see my fanny? I don't I don't think you have one of those.

unknown 11:27

No, I ordered one online.

SPEAKER_02 11:30

I'm here! Hey, that's my climate! No. No, okay, lovely. Um, so we're missing one component, one key part of our podcast. Oh my fucking god, where is it? I've got it, I've got it. Go on, I'll give it a dingle.

SPEAKER_06 11:46

It's ding ding ding ding ding. Oh, fuck me. Why is it so loud? I think the headphones are loud. You can't even see your headphones.

SPEAKER_02 11:53

Can you not? I have got an ugly wig on, but I thought it looked quite cunning of this outfit.

SPEAKER_06 11:59

I'm Billy Eilish.

SPEAKER_02 12:00

You are Billy Eilish.

SPEAKER_06 12:01

Peace and love to my fans.

SPEAKER_02 12:03

I'm a cheerleader's pom-pom.

SPEAKER_06 12:05

You better make a girly pop.

SPEAKER_02 12:07

Yeah, cute.

SPEAKER_06 12:08

I have a reason for being Billy. Why are you? This episode is about me, and we will get on to why it's about me. That's why I'm speaking so much about myself.

SPEAKER_02 12:15

So, Clity Clit. Would you like a tinglet again? Go for it. Would you like a story?

unknown 12:25

Story.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Well, that was pretty.

SPEAKER_06 12:27

Thanks. Honestly, I think in this podcast I'm just trying to showcase my vocals because every time I perform and I sing, I'm out of breath and I can't sing.

SPEAKER_02 12:35

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So Clitty. I have a story for you. And just for the viewers, listeners, I've taken a glove off because I can't scroll on the phone with the gloves on. They don't work. Um, physics, science. So I've got a story. This story caught my attention, mad, because it's related to the number six. What episode are we? Six. Six. When's your birthday?

SPEAKER_06 13:02

Sick, but there's six!

SPEAKER_02 13:04

The bitch is the devil.

SPEAKER_06 13:06

And that's why this episode's all about me.

SPEAKER_02 13:08

That's why it's all about her. So I've got a story that relates to this. Are you ready?

SPEAKER_06 13:13

Am I ready though? Because I feel like this is gonna creep me out.

SPEAKER_02 13:16

It might scare you. It might not. It might get you horny.

SPEAKER_06 13:22

Right.

SPEAKER_02 13:24

It's been six years since my wife Bethany vanished without a trace.

SPEAKER_06 13:29

Oh, it's fine. I'm not I'm not wet, I'm not a bride.

SPEAKER_02 13:31

No.

SPEAKER_06 13:32

Not married.

SPEAKER_02 13:32

No, true. So yeah, not right at all. Um me and Bethany were me and Bethany were married for four years. Four happy, invigorate, and fruit of years. We were high school sweethearts, however, at that time, two women falling in love was heavily frowned upon.

SPEAKER_00 13:49

No, it's not a lesbian.

SPEAKER_02 13:54

Um da da da da da. We didn't care though. All as we knew was each other, and the love we shared was so deep, pure, and connected. She was the light of my life, and then everything changed. That cursed day, the 6th of June, 1997.

SPEAKER_06 14:10

Oh my god, it's my actual birthday! That's the day I was born.

SPEAKER_02 14:13

I was dying.

SPEAKER_06 14:15

That's the day I was born. I thought it was just gonna be my birthday. That's literally this is your birth certification.

SPEAKER_02 14:24

A date that I have ingrained into my mind. Scratching away like chalk on a chalkboard, spinning questions of why, who, where, where is my Bethany? Where does she go? And why can I not remember? Did I ever know?

SPEAKER_06 14:38

Oh my god, if she imagined Bethany.

SPEAKER_02 14:40

You see, me and Bethany had a very normative relationship. Like I said, we were childhood sweethearts. We met in science class. Bethany accidentally caught my jumper light with a Bunsen burner. Stop meat. Absolutely meet you. Hazardous.

SPEAKER_06 14:56

I live.

SPEAKER_02 14:57

She rushed over to put the slight flame out. But from that day, the flame in my heart I feel for her can never be put out.

SPEAKER_04 15:03

Oh, lesbians.

SPEAKER_02 15:04

Lesbians. They don't have to be so intense. 100%. We shared a smile, a smile that I will envisage for the rest of my being. I miss her. After science class, Bethany came up to me, profusely apologizing. I'm so sorry. I really did not mean to. Please, will you forgive me? I'll buy you a new jumper. Anything. I think attempted arson is punishable with prison time. I half giggled.

SPEAKER_06 15:26

Oh, stop it. Putty in my hand. No way. Stop it right now. Where's the room?

SPEAKER_02 15:37

Do you reckon you can get scissors in a science room? I don't know, but they're going too. Bethany nervously laughed back, and from that day, our lives changed forever. We proceeded to spend every break time, lunchtime, and after school together. We were inseparable. Bethany was a troubled kid. She told me of her childhood and the complexities she experienced with her parents. Her father brought her up alone as a single dad.

SPEAKER_01 16:01

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 16:01

Her mum I know. Surprising. Her mum left when she was very young. Newborn, in fact. She never really told me why her mum left, but what I did understand from the situation, her mum was involved in some occultist practice.

SPEAKER_10 16:14

Here we go.

SPEAKER_02 16:16

Her dad always described her mum as quite eccentric. To the point where she even insisted on having a home birth, but not regular home birth. No. Bethany was born on a sentence. Bethany was born on a centenary stone in the middle of New Forest. From that day, Bethany never saw her mother again. Bethany's father, a loving, tall, unique looking man. Rude. That's so bitchy. That's so bitchy. You're rather unique looking.

SPEAKER_06 16:43

No, that would piss me right off. I'd never speak to that person again.

SPEAKER_02 16:46

Never, ever. Like blocked. Yeah, blocked, deleted, pushed to the bottom of the water. Like you are not on my Christmas card list.

SPEAKER_06 16:51

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 16:51

Pushed to the bottom of the water. You've gone for murder. I've gone for I'm not celebrating the festivities with you.

SPEAKER_06 16:57

You said no card for you. I've said don't. You said die.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Um so Clotora's gone into a business of making armbands made of rock.

SPEAKER_06 17:07

Um my god, that would be so fun. Who would I give them to?

SPEAKER_02 17:10

He raised Bethany to the best of his ability. When him and Bethany would have heated moments, his tongue would sharply snap and say, You're exactly like your mother, a fucking freak. Bethany's father tragically passed away when she was 15. She had to go through court hearings and a whole debacle with social services. And eventually it was decided that she could come and live with me and my family.

SPEAKER_06 17:27

Stop it. Wouldn't that be the best thing ever?

SPEAKER_02 17:30

High school as well, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 17:31

Yeah, like I would have lived for that.

SPEAKER_02 17:34

For your dad to die.

SPEAKER_06 17:37

No, no. I mean at that point. Oh yeah, it did. Not my not my not my biological dad, my stepdad died. Obviously, I think it's been spoken about every episode, no?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yeah, I don't know if we've included it in every episode.

SPEAKER_06 17:49

No, but we have spoken about it, and then we removed yeah, fun.

SPEAKER_02 17:53

Um so Bethany traffic deposited. Um da da da da da. By this point, it had been nearly a year since Bethany's attempted arson attack on my school jumper. Just for time context, I guess. So it's been nearly a year. So they were what? How old did they say? 15, I guess.

SPEAKER_06 18:09

15 when our dad died. And then 14 when they met.

SPEAKER_02 18:13

Yeah, yeah, okay. So the next few years were marvellous. Me and Bethany decided to make things official. We both came out to my parents and were greeted with such beautiful responses. My whole family was so supportive and so happy that Bethany was in my life. They saw how happy she made me. Some of my extended family weren't too pleased. However, I did not give a fuck.

SPEAKER_06 18:31

Yeah, correct.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

This is me, this is my life, and you cannot dictate what I will be doing.

SPEAKER_06 18:36

This is real, this is me.

SPEAKER_02 18:39

I'm a raging big old lesabine.

SPEAKER_06 18:42

Yeah, 10 out of 10.

SPEAKER_02 18:43

Yeah, stunning. Um, cannot dictate what I'll be doing. We both ended up moving out of our Hampshire home since we got accepted into Manchester Metropolitan University. No, why is it so about me?

SPEAKER_06 18:57

So creepy. I went.

SPEAKER_02 18:58

That's why I've been so excited to tell you this one. Yeah. Um, Bethany studied sports science and me engineering. Not related to you.

SPEAKER_06 19:05

No, I did music and teaching.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

You did. Yeah. Our uni years were enjoyable. Our relationship grew leaps and bounds. We were able to connect to each other on a level I didn't think was possible. She found who she truly was, just as I did. Manchester is where we consider our home to be.

SPEAKER_06 19:21

Oh, me too.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Sad, I don't know. Moving forward to our final year of university, I was adamant I wanted to marry Bethany. I have never been more certain about anything in my life as I was at this. Our final exams were over. Myself, Bethany, and our queer friend group were celebrating down at Salford Keys. When I decided to drop down onto one knee. Oh, don't miss it.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

It's actually making it.

SPEAKER_02 19:46

She's sobbing. Um, Bethany, will you do the honour of becoming my wife? Oh yes! Bethany roared with excitement. So, where's Bethany roaring like a lion? Bethany roared with excitement, screaming, yes, yes, of course I will. Our friends jumped with a joyous glee, expressing their congratulations.

SPEAKER_08 20:06

Glee.

SPEAKER_02 20:08

We were to be wed. Bethany and Priya, power couple of the century, are getting married. It was posted everywhere. All of our friends flooded our social media with the news of our engagement. The love was huge. Our wedding day. Oh, it was the most beautiful, pure day I can ever speak about. We both liked the idea of blurring the traditional gender norms. We wore tailored suits in varying colours with a bridal train and a fabric draped across the suit to resemble a combination of a traditional bridal gown and a groomsman's suit. Stop.

SPEAKER_06 20:37

Because this is exactly what I said that I wanted to wear at my next wedding. If I got married again. If you got married again.

SPEAKER_02 20:43

Any cute girly.

SPEAKER_06 20:45

No, I don't look like this.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

No. Um this is very fem fem fem fatale. After our wedding, we only felt it correct to move to Salford since we got engaged there. Stop up. This is where we spent the next four years of our marriage until everything changed.

SPEAKER_06 21:00

I lived in Salford.

SPEAKER_02 21:01

You did live in Salford.

SPEAKER_06 21:02

On an upside-down house.

SPEAKER_02 21:03

In an upside-down house. Not a really upside down house, just that your living room is on the wrong floor, your kitchen was down, weren't it?

SPEAKER_06 21:10

Yeah, my my two bedrooms were on the bottom floor with my bathroom. Then it was my kitchen, and then it was my living room.

SPEAKER_02 21:16

Yeah. Horrible, had mice. Oh, fun. Um, that's what we get for living in Manchester. Manchester! Manchester. Manchester, Manchester. Um, so Bethany's birthday was the 6th of June, which fell on a Sunday this year. So we're celebrating on the Saturday to see her birthday in. We went out with the girls' gays and days, and a cute little party. The night went smoothly. We stumbled home the early hours of the next day. However, Bethany stayed out a little bit longer with some of our friends. This was normal. I always get tired around 1am. I couldn't bear to be in the club when the lights came on. That's not us. We're there and getting pride out of the club. Um, I couldn't bear to be in I've said that. I got home safely. At 5 45am, our door ring door. That's the time I was born. Incredible. Impeccable. Is it at 5 45 am?

SPEAKER_06 22:10

That's the time I was born.

SPEAKER_02 22:11

Our ring doorbell detected that Bethany returned home. 10 30am. The screech of numerous alarms rang in my head, sharply bringing me from my slumber to reality. Why am I awake at this time? I hate my life. My head was still spinning from the night before, but I needed to head to my GP for a smear test. I put it off for a while, and this was the closest appointment, on a Sunday of all days. I grabbed my phone, turned off the alarm and began to rationalise my surroundings. I'm not in my bedroom. I'm in the spare room in the basement. Was I that drunk that I climbed into the wrong bed? I didn't think anything of it. Boy, this boy. Boy, this point. Um, by this point, I'm in a rush. I chucked back two paracetamol and a barocca and bolted to the car. I shouted up to Bethany, see you when I'm back, darling. I shut the door and left. I frantically pressed the car key to unlock the car, and well, my fucking car won't unlock. It's a keyless drive, and to be honest, I didn't have time to change the battery. So I decided to take my chances and walk to the GP. When I say walk, I mean a mild jog, potentially a sprint. Um I like this girl. Steva.

SPEAKER_06 23:19

Who's this? Priya.

SPEAKER_02 23:20

Priya. Um, I arrived at the GP surgery, panting and sweating. However, when I looked at the entrance, I was overcome with a feeling of pure, I'm going to rip your fucking head off vibes. Something was off. As I got to the door, it wouldn't open. Sunday. I would be questioning. Um, the doors appeared locked, the lights hung low, it looked almost derelict. I did think Sunday was a stupid day for a smear test. I checked my calendar, 6th of June, 12 o'clock. Smear test. I banged on the door and I shouted, no one answered. Fuck, fuck, fuck. I screamed into the universe. I could do that more passion. Fuck, fuck, fuck! I screamed into the universe. I eventually accepted my loss and went home. I was too hungover to deal with all of this. Real.

SPEAKER_07 24:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Absolute real. Um I rang the GP surgery when I got home. That funny automated message popped up. You're calling 17 in the queue. I waited my turn, then when I finally got through the line, it sounded like TV static. I spoke through the static white noise and explained the situation, and I was able to receive back a feign. We don't have anybody registered at this practice with that name. Due to the glitchy line, I put it off as a technical hitch. I'll call back in the morning. I really was just having one of those mornings. I storm upstairs to tell Bethany about the morning that I've just gone through. However, Bethany is nowhere to be found. I called her, no answer. I text her, no answer. I messaged our group chat, no answer. I go into panic that no one has seen Bethany since last night. I immediately check the ring doorbell. She was last seen entering at 5.45. And there is no recording of her leaving. I knew something wasn't right. I had that deep longing feeling in the pit of my stomach. Bethany was gone. Bethany has left without a trace. I tried to call the police, but my phone service would not kick in. You fucking piece of shit. Why won't you fucking work? I screamed in anger and then it hits me. I suddenly was overcome with the most agonizing of headaches that I've ever experienced. It was unbearable. I needed to sleep, to rest, to close my eyes immediately. I'd think I was on a stroke. Honestly, like I'm having a brain aneurysm. That's me done. I went back down to the spare room in the basement to sleep it off. It was always darker there. Bethany must be alright. Yeah? Maybe she's just out. Thoughts racing through my mind. Worry filling my body with physical symptoms. A manifestation of pure anxiety about the heightened situation. I woke up. I felt empty. I felt lost. I want my wife back. Our friend group is small. We just have one group chat where we continuously speak and share memes that if anyone saw we would be cancelled. I don't want to speak to anyone. I want to be left alone. I went to message in the friend group chat to explain that I'm not going to be on social media or anything for the foreseeable. I need some time. To my surprise, 13 hours ago, when I was struck with this agonizing headache, I'd already written a message in the group chat saying I'm going to take some time away. See you all soon. Which wouldn't deliver. Fear and anxiety can do the strangest of things to you. I clearly felt I needed time away. That never happened. I ended up staying in our home for the next six years. I became a recluse. No social interactions, nothing. I would just lay in that basement room mourning, wishing for my Bethany to return. 6th of June, 5 45 a.m. The ring doorbell chimes. I check my phone. Is that? Is that Bethany? I frantically wipe my eyes. Trying to be certain if what I'm seeing is accurate. Her curly hair now straight. The blonde now brunette. Her curved body now slender and slim. I know this is my Bethany, but I don't I'd be scored. So happy. I know this is my Bethany, but I don't recognise this woman at the door.

SPEAKER_01 27:07

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 27:07

Attached to the side of her like a leech stood a shorter woman, Ginger, ruffled hair with a really pretty smile. I hung back in the basement for a moment longer to observe what is happening. I see them put the key in the door, hand in hand. What? And have a passionate, romantic kiss as they're doing so. What the fuck is going on? Fifteen minutes pass, I'm trying to gather my thoughts, and then I hear it. A thud. Sounding like someone fallen to the floor. Instinct kicks in and I hide. Something does not feel right. Something is off.

SPEAKER_06 27:41

Oh my god, is Priya actually dead? Should she die of that headache?

SPEAKER_02 27:44

I scurry underneath a tiered shelf and in doing so knock my hand into a box. I take a quick peek. The box is full, full to the brim of newspaper articles and what appears to be an occultist symbol. I audibly gasped. I noticed on one of the articles, it was titled, Occultist Leader's Daughter Escapes from Prison in Mysterious Circumstances. And attached was a photo of my Bethany. That godforsaken headache strikes me again, agonizing, unbearable pain, until I can see, until I can see everything that has happened, which now comes flooding back. On June the 6th at 6am, six years ago, 666, Bethany came into the basement room. She proceeded to strike me in the back of the head with a two-foot ornament until I died. She fled via the window. I was not discovered for around one month. It took another five months and six days to locate Bethany. Throughout her court trial, she explained that she had to do this. You see, Bethany was actually a sacrificial birth, an offering to a satanic entity with an agreement that at the age of 27 her body will be taken over by this entity unless she delivered a new vessel to them and continued to do so every six years on that day. Pause 27. 27.

SPEAKER_06 29:01

So just for everyone, sorry, I've actually got tears, so this is too much for me. Um for everyone that doesn't know, I really thought I was gonna die at 27.

SPEAKER_02 29:11

We celebrated when you turned 28. We celebrated.

SPEAKER_06 29:14

Celebrated like it was shocking. Everyone knew. Everyone knew but it's been an ongoing thing since high school.

SPEAKER_02 29:20

Yeah, since you were a kid.

SPEAKER_06 29:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:22

Madness. But you did say it's the year you sell your soul to the devil.

SPEAKER_06 29:25

But I didn't know that when I when I said so, um god, my it's too much.

SPEAKER_02 29:32

You see, Bethany was a sacrificial birth, an offering to her, say da da da da 27 body protect modes. Um every six years. I wasn't her wife, I was her vessel, moulded into believing her cunning lies. Was any of it true? Or did she see me as an easy target? It all makes sense now. I write this here, trapped in limbo, where my physical body was found, my vessel. Six years have passed since Bethany killed me, and now this woman was next. The realisation that I'm listening to the sound of my imminent freedom from her wretched hands, from limbo due to my next victim's demise, fills me with empty tears. I'm nothing but a lie. However, one thing I do know, Bethany's father was correct. She was just like a mum, a fucking freak.

SPEAKER_06 30:14

And I don't even know what to do with myself.

SPEAKER_02 30:17

So, what's your views?

SPEAKER_06 30:19

Well, I think it's fine because I was born on the 6th of June.

SPEAKER_02 30:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 30:23

So I'm not the one being murdered.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

No, you're not, no.

SPEAKER_06 30:26

I'm the one murdering.

SPEAKER_02 30:27

So we went on a roller coaster of emotions.

SPEAKER_06 30:31

Like, I feel really bad for her.

SPEAKER_02 30:33

Awful. Priya, yeah. Fun little twist.

SPEAKER_06 30:36

Yeah, poor gal.

SPEAKER_02 30:37

Yeah, poor girl.

SPEAKER_06 30:38

That was brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 30:38

Thank you. I wrote it.

SPEAKER_06 30:40

No, you didn't.

SPEAKER_02 30:42

I wrote it for you.

SPEAKER_06 30:43

Stop it! You can't. I really thought that this was someone's real story.

SPEAKER_02 30:48

No, I've written it for you. Yeah, I want to write it. That was brilliant. Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_06 30:52

How weird, because I was gonna write one today as well.

SPEAKER_02 30:54

Stop it, we're so creepy. Yeah, love. Um, because I wanted one for six to relate to your birthday, yeah, and I couldn't find nothing, so I said, fuck it, I'll write, I'll write it.

SPEAKER_06 31:03

You've kept that up for like a month, two months.

SPEAKER_02 31:06

Honestly, and I haven't overspoke about it because I like to overspeak about it. You have overspoke about it. But my level's normally dramatic, I'll give it away. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, that was my story. That's a very long one. Um but here you go. You got a story for me, Clitora. I'm gonna put me um hooker glove back on.

SPEAKER_06 31:24

So, build us.

SPEAKER_02 31:26

Oh my god, clitus. Oh, that sounds a bit brutal, don't it?

SPEAKER_06 31:30

Yeah, kill us.

SPEAKER_02 31:32

Kill us, clitus.

SPEAKER_06 31:34

Would you like a story? A story, yes, please. Wow. So this story has been sent by someone on Instagram. Oh gorgeous! Yes, so Morgan has sent this in. Yeah, stunning. Yeah, Tanfield Hall, Tanfield Hall in Durham, built in the 1600s, became a boarding grammar school in 1790s to 1800s when it closed due to a fire on the top floors where the children slept. A number of children died in this fire.

SPEAKER_02 32:11

Oh, is it's haunted as fuck.

SPEAKER_06 32:12

So I'm just setting your backstory there. Well, I'm not, they did. Um, so this is actually from their mum. Um, love that. Yeah, love that.

SPEAKER_02 32:23

Oh, their mum's writ it. Yeah, their mum wrote it, really sent it to them and they've sent it to me. Oh, gorgeous.

SPEAKER_06 32:30

So before we moved into the hall, we had renovations done. The builders began to insist that they always worked in pairs after being spooked by the feeling of being watched, and on one occasion, seeing a figure walk along a passage upstairs, then through a wall into what would become our master bedroom.

SPEAKER_10 32:49

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_06 32:51

We moved into the hall early 1990s, and a few years later, our daughter was born. My husband worked away during the week, and we had my husband's brother staying with us during that time. He was helping us out with decorating and odd jobs, and would always give me a hand on loading the car when I returned home from shopping or visiting my parents.

unknown 33:11

Right.

SPEAKER_06 33:11

My daughter was about three years old, and they also had a newborn as well. Okay. So they had a three-year-old and a newborn. Both girls.

SPEAKER_02 33:21

Stun.

SPEAKER_06 33:21

And my three-year-old insisted on wearing an old-fashioned dress that her grandma had bought her for her dressing up box.

SPEAKER_02 33:28

Oh, she's one of them Victorian ghosts. Creepy. You find her in like an old abandoned mansion with them beady eyes.

SPEAKER_06 33:35

Yeah, well, wait till you see this fucking house.

SPEAKER_02 33:38

Like, have you got pictures of it?

SPEAKER_06 33:40

Yeah, and I've asked about the house as well.

SPEAKER_02 33:42

Oh, stunning. You've said, um, sorry, you can send us a story, but I'm now going to do my own investigation and ask you everything I want about it. I love that.

SPEAKER_06 33:53

Um, one afternoon, while my brother-in-law was decorating the top floor, he heard footsteps on the four floor below and looked over the stairs to see a small girl running along the passage in a dress style similar to my daughter's dressing up dress. Victoria Ghosts. She then went out of sight, calling out and getting no answer. He came downstairs only to find he was alone in the house.

SPEAKER_10 34:18

Oh.

SPEAKER_06 34:19

About an hour later, when I pulled into the driveway, I was met by a freaked out brother-in-law, asked him why we popped in and didn't answer him. I explained we hadn't.

SPEAKER_04 34:30

That's it.

unknown 34:31

Stop it.

SPEAKER_06 34:32

So, yeah, they had some haunting fucking things going on in this house. Yeah, so this house, right, it's not just any old house, it's a hall. Because it was a boarding school.

SPEAKER_02 34:43

Yeah, true. Right, massive.

SPEAKER_06 34:47

So we can attach that.

SPEAKER_02 34:48

So we will attach a picture of the house, we'll splice it in. Oh, yeah, huge. And that's got them posh um maze gardens.

SPEAKER_06 34:58

Do you want to know how many bedrooms they have?

SPEAKER_02 34:59

How many bedrooms?

SPEAKER_06 35:00

Take a stab. Seven, sixteen.

SPEAKER_02 35:04

Sixteen bedrooms.

SPEAKER_06 35:05

Yeah, they've put living their best Bridget in life. Honestly.

unknown 35:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 35:10

They're having so many bukakis there. Um, well, thank you very much to our little listener. So, guys, if you do want to send stories, we'll put all of our socials at the end of the episode. So make sure you listen through to get all of those details. Um, so that was our storytime, Clitty. Yes, it was. What a fun little storytime we've had. Yeah, I loved it. Our next section is going to be what?

SPEAKER_06 35:37

Clip, clip, cliff, glitoris, cursed counties.

SPEAKER_02 35:41

Oh, Glitoras Curse Counties. Ammo, ammo. And Divas, we've got something special for you for this one.

SPEAKER_05 35:48

We do.

SPEAKER_02 35:49

We don't know if you'll like it, but Tough Shit, it's our podcast. We do what we want, Dallas. Fuck you! Fuck you, it's all about us.

SPEAKER_05 35:56

It's all about oh, what is that, son?

SPEAKER_02 35:58

Oh, I've dropped my headphones.

SPEAKER_05 35:59

It's all about it's all about now. It's all about today.

SPEAKER_02 36:07

Find the key.

SPEAKER_06 36:08

It's my key.

SPEAKER_02 36:10

She's made it up. Um, I was trying to make a funny joke, and it wasn't a funny joke. It was a very overused joke.

SPEAKER_06 36:15

I've gone deadpan.

SPEAKER_02 36:16

It's Mikey, Mikey, fuck off. Um, so we're gonna do something exciting. We've decided to start a mini docuseries, I guess. Docu series is it a docuseries? I don't know what a docuseries is. We're on Netflix. We're on Netflix, yeah. So, guys, don't join us. Um, tune in for our new Netflix show. Yep. Um, Netflix Netflix No, you can't speak. I can't. Netflix sponsor us, please. Netflix sponsor us, please. Child, child. So, what we're gonna do, we are from Suffolk. Oh, spoiler alert! We gave that away in episode two when we said Barris and Edmunds is close to us.

SPEAKER_06 36:55

I mean, on every single TikTok, on every single Instagram reel, I put our location.

SPEAKER_02 37:00

Oh, yeah, true. So we're in Ipswich.

SPEAKER_06 37:03

Yeah, quite simply.

SPEAKER_02 37:04

We're based in Ipswich. Um, if my strong Suffolk tones didn't give it away, Clitty's voice is a little bit um deranged. She's got a mix of Manchester, Suffolk, um, French, Spanish, Russian. She mixes all languages together. I am just I sound like a farmer.

SPEAKER_06 37:21

You sound you sound like an old Ipswich woman.

SPEAKER_02 37:23

I do, I sound like my nana really badly. So, yeah, guys, we're starting a docuseries um on Netflix. Anyway, so our region is East Anglia. Yes. We are based in Ipswich. You can see that on our Instagram. We tag our location. We are from Ipswich. If my strong Suffolk tones where I sound like an old Suffolk woman, my nan, um, doesn't give it away, then our like you are thick, and our location will give it away. So East Anglia is our region we're part of the county of Suffolk. But we're looking at East Anglia as a whole, the little bubble on the map. Have you noticed we're a little bubble?

SPEAKER_06 38:03

Dying, I don't know maps.

SPEAKER_02 38:06

No, true. Um, so East Anglia. We are renowned for having quite a lot of folklore. We're very dated, we're very old. We have Colchester, which is the oldest town in the UK. Did you know that?

SPEAKER_06 38:18

No.

SPEAKER_02 38:18

Oh, did you not?

SPEAKER_06 38:19

Why the hell would I know? That's a weird thing to know.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

Everywhere in Colchester.

SPEAKER_06 38:24

What, on all the little signs?

SPEAKER_02 38:25

On the ruins, all of the original ruins. That's throughout the town.

SPEAKER_06 38:29

What ruins?

SPEAKER_02 38:30

I'm gonna take you, we're gonna walk through.

SPEAKER_06 38:32

Yeah, I've never probably been to Colchester. I've been there to buy a prom dress, I've been there to Taco Bell, and I've been there for the zoo and swimming.

SPEAKER_02 38:39

Fine, I'll take you. We'll go through Colchester. It's a lovely, sweet little place. Um, so we're very folklory, very ancient, very old. Um, ancient, very older. So, one thing, I don't know if you were told as a kid, but I've known about this for years. The black shuck.

SPEAKER_06 38:56

No, never.

SPEAKER_02 38:58

No, so there's this folklore. This I'm not gonna say myth because we haven't um that for me.

SPEAKER_06 39:04

No, no, it's just a few. Oh sorry.

SPEAKER_02 39:05

Yeah, I'm not going to say myth because we haven't necessarily proven false or true. But a black shuck is a hellhound that torments the areas around East Anglia.

SPEAKER_06 39:17

With red eyes.

SPEAKER_02 39:18

With red eyes, you do know the black shuck.

SPEAKER_06 39:20

Yeah, I only know because I've I looked into it a little.

SPEAKER_02 39:23

What have you researched? Tell us.

SPEAKER_06 39:24

That just that really.

SPEAKER_02 39:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_06 39:26

Oh, and in where is it called Blithburg?

SPEAKER_02 39:29

Oh, Blythburg. We love Blithblah. Bliff blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. That's so millennial of me. Sorry, I can't talk today. Blah blah blah blah blah.

SPEAKER_09 39:40

Sorry, I can't do English. English is not my friend.

SPEAKER_02 39:44

Um I hate being a millennial. I don't, I love it.

SPEAKER_06 39:47

I'm technically not.

SPEAKER_02 39:48

No Gen Z. Can't see. Um so Blythbag.

SPEAKER_06 39:52

Yes, bliff bag.

SPEAKER_02 39:53

Bliffebag. What happened there?

SPEAKER_06 39:55

Well, I can't quite remember with like heaven. Detail, yeah. Um she can.

SPEAKER_02 40:04

Go, tell me.

SPEAKER_06 40:05

So apparently in the church there, I think it's the church, they had to that in during like the Black Plague era. Um yeah, long time ago.

SPEAKER_02 40:14

1066.

SPEAKER_06 40:16

Yeah, ages ago.

SPEAKER_02 40:22

So how do they like prescribe medicine for the black plague with hieroglyphics? I can't talk, my enunciation's horrible.

SPEAKER_06 40:31

So, anyway, during the Black Plague era, every person they suspected having the Black Plague. Right, um, is that what it's called?

SPEAKER_02 40:38

Yeah, it's the Black Plague. Yeah, um, that's the casual name, like the technical name I think is bubonic plague. Yeah, it's the bubonic plague.

SPEAKER_06 40:45

Yeah, they put everyone in this church, I think, if I've remembered it right, because it was a while ago I looked into this. Um and yeah, I think I've mixed two stories. But either way, on the back on the outside of that church, either way, on the outside of that church, there's claw marks.

SPEAKER_10 41:04

There's claw marks, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:05

Which has said that it's gonna be the black shark, but like there actually is like a black pictures.

SPEAKER_10 41:11

I we need to head out there, yeah.

SPEAKER_06 41:12

It's not very far.

SPEAKER_10 41:13

Shall we get our little backpack and go?

SPEAKER_06 41:15

Yeah, well come on, Clinty Clint.

SPEAKER_08 41:19

Let's go. Come on, we can do it. Let's get to it. I know that we can do it. Grab your backpack, let's go. Come with me, farminos. Jump in, farminos. You can lead to it. Hey, hey, hey, swiping all, swiping, swiping o swiping.

SPEAKER_02 41:44

Oh man. Oh, rats. Um, so let's go to Blytheberg, Bliffburg. Um, well, that is the black shark. So, what we're thinking for this little docuseries, we're gonna start because cunti. Um as well as Glitorah's Curse Counties, we are still going to do our ghost hunts. We're still going to go to haunted, creepy locations, creepy areas. But real, we're gonna be realistic. I work full-time and I have children. Glitora has children, we aren't as readily available to hoss around every week to do a ghost hunt. So, what we were thinking, if it's local, we have more availability to do so. So, we're gonna start a mini-series and we are going to so clitty, we are going to find the black shuck. Oh my fucking god, love it, love it, love, love, love.

SPEAKER_06 42:41

So, we're going to find a black shuck.

SPEAKER_02 42:42

But don't look into its eyes, don't look into its eyes, why not?

SPEAKER_06 42:46

Because I don't know, it said it that you'll die.

SPEAKER_02 42:48

What for what flat?

SPEAKER_06 42:49

Well, don't because then you'll be dead.

SPEAKER_02 42:51

Spooky sex. Um, so no, don't look into its eyes. It has hellish red eyes. It does, it will kill you. You will die, you'll be six foot under, unless you get made into a tree, you might be like six foot up. But either way, you're gonna be dead. So yeah, pointless. Um I love that show. We are going to what pointless? Yeah, I'm really so much. Um, so we're going to have a little hunt around. So the black shuck is rumoured or scheduled, not scheduled. Scheduled! He's got a performance at 10 to 11, he'll be oh my god, are you going to see the black shark on Friday? I can't wait. Um, so the black shark has been rumoured to be around wet marshland areas. So around Suffolk, East Anglia region, we have a lot of wetlands, a lot of marshy areas. So, what we're going to do, we're going to start our own little journey. We're going to take some areas that have had some black shark hysteria.

SPEAKER_06 43:44

Hysteria.

SPEAKER_02 43:45

Hysteria.

SPEAKER_06 43:46

Apparations.

SPEAKER_02 43:47

Apparitions. Apparitions. I'm having an apparition on my knee.

SPEAKER_06 43:53

Um apparatus.

SPEAKER_02 43:54

Apparatus.

SPEAKER_06 43:56

Yeah. Yeah. Those things that you were never allowed out and pee.

SPEAKER_02 43:58

Never allowed out and pee f you. How about one? Had gone to monkey bars, everyone's smashed their head open and have a bit of blue towel on it. Um, so we're gonna find a black shark. We're gonna go to these little areas. We have started with one location. There's only a couple little speculations around the black shuck here, but it is quite a creepy location that we're gonna do next week. So it's in Suffolk, but it's more of a Clitoris Curse County rather than a black shuck.

SPEAKER_06 44:24

But also, like just because it hasn't been spotted there before doesn't mean it won't be spotted there by us.

SPEAKER_02 44:31

We could be the first ones to spot the black shuck. Yeah, it's within the region, the the hotspot of where the black shuck is. Yeah, so we're gonna find it. We're not gonna do a black shuck episode every week. No, no, no, it's not going to be every other week, it's going to be as and when we do it.

SPEAKER_06 44:48

As and when we choose, because what?

SPEAKER_02 44:50

It's our podcast.

SPEAKER_06 44:52

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 44:52

Our podcast. Our podcast. There is going to be some continuity. So we are going to have a Clitoris Curse County every other week, as per, as well as a booze, snooze every other alternate week to Clitoris Curse County. We have a little system, but it's just what we're going to deliver to you all. So we hope you love that, Divas, and it's going to be fun. It'll be on our YouTube. Come and join. So shall we bruise for our paranormal playbook? Paranormal playbook. Have you got a game or do you want my game? You do a game. I've got a game. So I've only got a quick game. It's not long. Okay. And it's not too spooky. But could be spooky.

unknown 45:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:38

Have you ever used a pendulum?

SPEAKER_06 45:40

No.

SPEAKER_02 45:40

So I have plenty of pendulum plenty.

SPEAKER_06 45:43

What's that? The triangle thing or the star?

SPEAKER_02 45:46

That you dangle and it swings. You answer, you have a little map.

SPEAKER_07 45:50

What?

SPEAKER_02 45:50

And you you hand hang the pendulum above, like a little map will have yes, no, and you ask questions to the realm, to the ever realm.

SPEAKER_06 45:58

Right. I thought it was like one sec.

SPEAKER_02 46:03

That was a musical.

SPEAKER_06 46:04

The big star on the floor.

SPEAKER_02 46:06

That's a pentagram. Or a pentacle.

SPEAKER_04 46:10

Right. Oracle.

SPEAKER_02 46:11

The oracle. It's um Jeff from Pendom. So it's a little pendulum. It's got like crystals, and you it's weighted on the bottom. You dangle it and you ask questions into the spirit realm.

SPEAKER_01 46:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 46:24

And the the pendulum will swing a certain direction. You can instruct what way to swing. Um, so it might swing clockwise for yes, anti-clockwise for no, could swing in a straight line, could swing back and forth, and it answers your questions.

SPEAKER_06 46:38

I think it sounds gross.

SPEAKER_02 46:39

It sounds gross, but I don't have a pendulum. Okay. So what we're gonna use. We've got this little um we've got this cunty little ball. What colour shall we do? It can change.

SPEAKER_01 46:53

Blue.

SPEAKER_02 46:54

Does it change here? There's one where it looks really fun.

SPEAKER_01 47:00

There we go.

SPEAKER_02 47:01

Should we dangle it like this?

SPEAKER_01 47:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:04

Okay, so what we're going to do, I'm gonna hold it straight and we're going to ask it a question, Clitora.

SPEAKER_01 47:11

Right.

SPEAKER_02 47:12

Okay, and we're gonna see if we can get any swinging. So, if you close your eyes, and I want you to imagine a high state of relaxation.

SPEAKER_06 47:23

Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02 47:24

Get comfortable, get the fanny out. I mean, don't get the fanny out really. My arm's aching, so I'm gonna rest my arm a little bit because I don't want to skew the results.

SPEAKER_06 47:35

So but it is dangling around.

SPEAKER_02 47:38

Let's straighten up. So, Vitora, this is our pendulum.

SPEAKER_01 47:42

Right.

SPEAKER_02 47:43

I see you're getting into a state of relaxation.

SPEAKER_01 47:45

I am gorgeous.

SPEAKER_02 47:46

So I'm going to start by swinging the pendulum. Can you hear a tick? Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick. Fuck! Child, I've just jumped. I've got ticks.

SPEAKER_08 48:02

Right.

SPEAKER_02 48:02

So we're gonna are we're gonna ask the spirit realm. So let us silence the pendulum. We'll close our eyes, we'll get into a state of relaxation. Spirits near, spirits far. If anybody is with us right now, please can you give us a sign? Okay, great. Spirits around. We give you the power and the permission to alter the colour.

SPEAKER_06 48:37

Why is it going faster?

SPEAKER_02 48:39

What the fuck?

SPEAKER_06 48:41

No, no, sorry. Boo, why is it going faster?

SPEAKER_02 48:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 48:49

It must do that.

SPEAKER_02 48:51

It's just a fade normally. I've never seen a go like that. We've used this before.

SPEAKER_06 48:55

Yeah, I know.

SPEAKER_02 48:57

Okay, so if anybody is here with us, I see that you have changed the colour, you've manipulated the colour of the pendulum. Would you be able to swing the pendulum towards Clitorah if you're near Clitora? Or towards me if you are near me.

SPEAKER_06 49:22

Quite rude, really.

SPEAKER_02 49:23

I do think it's coming towards me.

SPEAKER_06 49:26

I do think it's obviously just like see it's getting faster again.

SPEAKER_02 49:31

Is it? Oh thank god.

SPEAKER_06 49:33

Oh no, don't because I absolutely shit myself. My heart was pounding.

SPEAKER_02 49:37

So the spirits is a battery. Um fun. So if anybody is here, can you swing the pendulum? Oh my god, Clotora's here, you guys. Wow! Um, so one more question. If you ain't here and if you want to come here at all, we don't welcome you. Stay away. Peace and love to all of your spirits around. Our pendulum was shit, it didn't work. It scared us, but it didn't work. So we're gonna turn her off and we're gonna say what? Goodbye.

SPEAKER_06 50:12

Should we do the Ouija board?

SPEAKER_02 50:14

Shall we?

SPEAKER_06 50:16

No, no, no, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 50:18

Okay, we'll save that. It's too risky. We'll save that for episode 13.

SPEAKER_06 50:21

No, we won't. You can do that with a guest or something.

SPEAKER_02 50:24

Eva darlings, we are coming to the end of our episode. Boo. Hey, that's me.

SPEAKER_06 50:33

Funny.

SPEAKER_02 50:34

So we're at the end of our episode.

SPEAKER_06 50:36

We are. But I do have a little chant for you to end the episode. Sorry, I was so into my phone.

SPEAKER_02 50:48

She was so into our phone.

SPEAKER_06 50:49

I was looking at the time.

SPEAKER_02 50:50

I was thinking dinner. Yeah, dinner we haven't eaten yet.

SPEAKER_06 50:53

Um, I have a chant up for episode, specifically episode six.

SPEAKER_02 51:00

Oh, stunning.

SPEAKER_06 51:01

Yeah. Do you want me to just read it? Read it.

SPEAKER_02 51:04

Do I need to do anything?

SPEAKER_06 51:07

No.

SPEAKER_02 51:08

Okay, off you go. I'm gonna be Zen.

SPEAKER_06 51:10

Okay.

unknown 51:11

Zadien.

SPEAKER_06 51:13

Oh six oh six. The summer's here, the brightest day of all the year. Double numbers, twin delight, sun kiss morning, magic night. Oh six oh six, time to stand with a grin and open hand. Count your blessings, make a wish, seal it with a summer kiss. Oh six oh six. Let's celebrate the rhythm of this special date. Jump up high and shout it clear. The best of June is finally here.

SPEAKER_02 51:48

Well, that was fun. Yeah, very vain of you doing it about your birthday.

SPEAKER_06 51:52

Stop it. It's nearly your birthday. It is.

SPEAKER_02 51:54

It's so nearly your birthday. Clitty. Clity clitty clitty. So because this episode's been heavy on you.

SPEAKER_06 52:03

Me, me, me, me, me.

SPEAKER_02 52:04

Me, you, you, you, you, you. Um, heavy wasn't the adjective I wanted to choose.

SPEAKER_06 52:10

Because it's been skinny on you.

SPEAKER_02 52:12

Because it's been so thin on you.

SPEAKER_06 52:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 52:15

Um, I thought we do a horoscope. Stop it. Yeah, I thought, like, let's do one for your birthday to see how important that date is. And we can look at what that entails for you. Your June 6th Gemini Horoscope centers on embracing your natural curiosity while setting healthy boundaries on your energy. Um, it is a day to let your mind wander, but make sure to communicate clearly with those around you so that your brilliant ideas don't get misunderstood. Do you want your love and relationships?

SPEAKER_06 52:47

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02 52:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_06 52:49

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 52:49

Romance requires deep emotional presence rather than just playing by the rules. Share a meaningful conversation or a quiet moment with your partner or a close friend. It's the perfect time to drop the casual act and show your authentic, vulnerable side.

SPEAKER_04 53:02

Oh.

SPEAKER_02 53:02

Which you will be able to do. Career and finance, your communication skills are your superpower right now. Use your gift of the gab to negotiate, brainstorm, or clear up any lingering miscommunications. However, hold off on making any sudden high-risk investments. I can't scroll because I've got gloves on. So that's what you're getting.

SPEAKER_01 53:21

Do you want me to scroll for you?

SPEAKER_02 53:24

Okay, your well-being. Oh, great. You have a tendency to burn the candle at both ends.

SPEAKER_06 53:30

What does that mean, double dildo?

SPEAKER_02 53:32

Yeah. Like you're strapped, she's strapped. You sword fight. Um, no, you're knackered. You're burning the candle at both ends.

SPEAKER_06 53:41

Right, get you.

SPEAKER_02 53:42

To recharge your battery, step away from your endless to-do lists and reconnect with nature or enjoy the small, simple things.

SPEAKER_06 53:48

Yes, I would like to put my feet into grass.

SPEAKER_02 53:52

Put my feet into grass. Lovely. So grounding. So grounding. So today's Astro Tips on the 6th of June, what to wear? Shades of bright yellow or sky blue to highlight your airy communicative nature.

SPEAKER_06 54:04

I won't be wearing yellow or blue.

SPEAKER_02 54:06

You're lucky number six, reflecting harmony, beauty, and emotional balance. And that is how Sue Caesar.

SPEAKER_06 54:15

Sorry, I would wear blue, not sky blue.

SPEAKER_02 54:17

Yeah. Um, so darling divas, this is the end of our pod.

SPEAKER_04 54:21

The end of episode six, baby.

SPEAKER_02 54:25

Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about all the good things and the bad things that baby. Let's talk about sex.

SPEAKER_04 54:35

A little bit, a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 54:37

Let's talk about sex, baby.

SPEAKER_04 54:40

All through the night, I'll make love to you.

SPEAKER_08 54:44

Like you want me to, and I guess that's just the woman in you. Who brings out the men in me? Boom, boom, boom!

SPEAKER_04 54:58

It feels like the first time. It feels like the very first time. It feels like the first time.

SPEAKER_02 55:11

Love that. Love fun. Um, that's coming up. Why have I got a maggot in my tight? Look at that.

SPEAKER_06 55:16

It's just where it's laddering.

SPEAKER_02 55:19

I've got a maggot in my tight. Anyway, that was episode six. Baby.

SPEAKER_06 55:24

Um six, six, six, little devil with the lisp.

SPEAKER_10 55:28

Why didn't we do that?

SPEAKER_02 55:30

That is cunty. So, as for next time, if you want to send us stories, spooky dreams, spooky happenings, locations. Not just spooky dreams.

SPEAKER_06 55:41

Any dreams.

SPEAKER_02 55:41

Any dreams. We accept all dreams. We are inclusive, inclusive practitioners. Um, also, if anyone's got black shark sightings news, send it across to us.

SPEAKER_06 55:52

Our email is defdropdeadpod at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_10 55:58

Instagram.

SPEAKER_06 55:59

Defdropdead underscore YouTube. Death drop dead. TikTok. Death drop dead underscore.

SPEAKER_10 56:12

Sex me.

SPEAKER_06 56:14

O7. O7.

SPEAKER_02 56:19

I'm not giving my number, bitches. So it's 07, that's all you get.

SPEAKER_06 56:24

And mine is 07.

SPEAKER_02 56:25

There we go, look at that. So that's the end of our episode. Thank you for listening and stay spooky. Bye. Oh my god, Diva, you need to stop what you're doing. Sit back down in that chair. And listen for one more minute. Me and Klitora are gonna play you.

SPEAKER_04 56:49

Looper of the wig. Enjoy and stay spooky. And here's what you missed on Glee. Glee.

SPEAKER_02 57:28

Um love. What the fuck is going on out there? Someone's dying.

SPEAKER_08 57:35

Are you okay?

SPEAKER_02 57:38

Can you hear that on here?

SPEAKER_08 57:40

Come stas? Come style. Oh my god, you're home my moi.

SPEAKER_06 57:51

I don't know, scared. Amocionado. Is that worried? That would work. Yeah, that'll be alright.

SPEAKER_02 57:55

We can rock and roll.