Sermon Prep
Dan Metzger, pastor at St Marks United Methodist Church in Findlay, goes behind the scenes of weekly sermon prep, addressing cultural and spiritual issues, and what happens the other 6 days of the week.
Sermon Prep
Episode 11 - Learning Contentment
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Pastor Dan and special guest Curynn DeWitt, director of children and family ministries, talk about the trap of comparison and learning to live in contentment.
Hey everybody, welcome to another Sermon Prep Podcast. I'm Dan Metzger, I'm the pastor at St. Mark's United Methodist Church here in Finlay, and today we have another guest. We've had kind of a parade of guests coming through, and uh today we have with us our Director of Children's Ministry. Is that your official title? Director of Children's Ministry.
SPEAKER_00Director of Children and Family Ministries.
SPEAKER_01There you go. I don't even know who's on staff here. But Corinne's here, and uh she's gonna tell us uh uh talk with us a little bit today. Um so Corinne, tell us what you do as the director of whatever it is you just said, director of children and family ministry.
SPEAKER_00All right, well, good morning, everybody. Um my name is Corinne. I started here um two months, no, one month before COVID hit, and that was wild. Um I started not knowing what I was doing, um, kind of learned as I went, and then COVID hit, and then nobody knew what they were doing.
SPEAKER_01And that was the playing field.
SPEAKER_00I do a lot of um lesson planning behind the scenes. So for Sunday morning, I plan backstage kids and I plan the children's moment. Um, and then also like Wednesday nights during the school year, we do Spark Kids, uh, which is really fun. It's a really great way to get to know the kids, which they're so funny and they're just really fun to hang out with. They keep me young.
SPEAKER_01They keep you young, and we and then there's always other duties as a sign, like doing podcasts or preaching every great once in a while, or all sorts of other things.
SPEAKER_00Yes, singing on Sundays.
SPEAKER_01Singing on Sunday. Oh, yeah, you're singing this Sunday, I think.
SPEAKER_00So just whatever is needed at least.
SPEAKER_01Whatever's needed.
SPEAKER_00Fill the holes.
SPEAKER_01There you go. There you go. Well, we're talking today about um we're coming to the end of our series called I Quit, where we're looking at a bunch of different things that we as Christians need to quit doing because it damages our witness or just keeps us from living the kind of abundant life that God really wants for us. And uh this Sunday we're gonna be talking about um quitting comparing ourselves. Uh, we compare ourselves in in like a plethora of ways. Um, so uh I know one of the things that when we're talking about this a little bit beforehand, one of the places where comparison uh seems to be the most rampant is around social media. Uh I think we all post the things that we that we post, and you know, you post because like I'm proud of my kids or whatever else, but then it's really easy to get on there and like compare yourselves to how everybody else is doing and like they're killing it, and you feel like, well, I'm barely keeping my head above water, and um that can just be a really hard place to uh to be and to not get trapped by comparison.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I have a love-hate relationship with social media. Sometimes it's really great, it's nice to keep up with family and you know, send out pictures of my kids to people, but it's hard because it's right. Every time I open my Instagram, I'm like, oh, this homeschool mom, she you know, planned a whole lesson on flowers and they drew flowers and planted things, and I'm like, I can't keep my plants alive.
SPEAKER_01I wore my pajamas until 2 p.m. Uh yeah, my kids did too.
SPEAKER_00So I don't make sourdough bread. Um I feel very inadequate in most ways um educating my children, and I know that it's not all what it seems on social media, and I get that. And so I do have to step away every once in a while and just ground myself in Jesus and in the Bible because it's really easy to get swept up in comparing yourself to everyone else, and they're highly real, and it hurt doesn't feel good, it doesn't make you feel good, it doesn't help you to you know pour love into others because you feel depleted yourself and it's just not a healthy right.
SPEAKER_01Yep, exactly. And I get I get sucked into this trap of comparison so easy. We went, um, was it last week we went to uh Gingsburg, it's uh which is a larger United Methodist church um here in our conference. Uh there was a there was a conference there, and so we went to that, and man, it was really hard not to walk in and be like, oh, yeah, that's really cool. I wish we had that. I wish we were doing that. They're doing that, that's so cool. Look at how they decorated this. Why don't we do that? Must be nice to be able to afford to do this, like all these other things.
SPEAKER_00And the whole wink for their children's ministry.
SPEAKER_01I know, I know, right? And we love you, Gangsburg, if you're listening. You're not, but in case you are. Uh we, you know, it was really, really it's really cool and it's inspiring, but it it's easy to go from that's inspiring to uh feeling bad about yourself or feeling jealous of something or you know, comparing yourself to others, like and I think the reality is that you know God called them to do this thing and to be this thing, and we're called to be a different thing and to do a different thing in a different place, and so it's not all gonna be the same. And um, and and I know because they're church and the church is full of humans, I know that they've got problems just like anybody else. But we you know it it's very easy to kind of just even pull into the parking lot and go, oh yeah, you know they have a playground. Oh like five playgrounds. Yeah, yeah. It's not one, yeah. Right, I I know, I know. But um, so yeah, I think we can all get trapped, and and I think we get trapped in in the comparison of a lot of different things. So some of the uh four areas that I feel like, and we'll just touch on these real quick and see if if you and maybe you don't maybe you don't struggle with any of this stuff, and I've picked the wrong person. But um uh so areas where we struggle, I think, with comparison. One is possessions. Um they have that, I don't have that, or I have this and they don't, so I must be feeling I feel pretty good about myself. Like I think about just the times I pull into someone's driveway and you immediately judge the book by its cover, like, oh, they're doing better than me, I'm doing better than them. It's just like this natural thing that we do without even thinking about it. I feel like we so often just have these judgments come into our mind.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I went through a season of this. Um, we were doing some play dates with our co-op moms, and every week, you know, a different co-op mom would host at their house, and we were going to these houses that were three times the size of ours, and I just was immediately like, oh, okay, so are we are we can we do this still, even though we don't have a huge house and we don't have a bedroom for all of our kids and a playroom and a great room and a you know, all these thoughts that go through your head, and it just it felt defeating, but I know I said, Okay, God, like I know you've given us everything we need. I know I know our house is little, but it it holds us and it keeps us warm. And it, you know, we have so much love there, and it's just a house. It's not it's not a heavenly home, you know. Like it's we have so much more to look forward to, and I just had to stop and really ground myself in that and not get caught up in that comparing.
SPEAKER_01And I and I think it can go it can go both ways, right? So it's easy, like I think we we easily catch ourselves saying, Oh man, I feel bad, they've got more than what I do. Uh and sometimes it's harder for us to catch ourselves in our pride in uh, oh, I've got more than they do, you know, because we all run it, we're all on a continuum somewhere. And um, you know, seeing somebody who has less than, and like do you does a does a little bit of pride end up uh coming in when you hit those situations? So possessions is a thing that I think we all um that we all struggle with. Appearance is another thing that we definitely compare. I think sometimes for um for women uh it's an even harder thing. You you all are bombarded with this from a very, very early age of does my appearance measure up to others? Um do you know, and it's not even real. The the thing that you're supposed to be comparing yourself to is not even a real thing. It's an airbrushed AI version of what of what people are are meant to look like. Like we yeah, and sometimes I think we even compare our appearance to past versions of ourselves. Yes, right? I'm not as whatever, like like the the you know, muscle that I had when I played sports in high school has gone bye-bye. And uh it's not it's not there anymore.
SPEAKER_00So you know when your memories pop up on your phone and it's like six years ago, you ran a marathon and you were really fit.
SPEAKER_01I don't know what that's like.
SPEAKER_00My mom really hits me. And I have to just be like, okay, I did that, I went through that, and here I am, and I just, you know, I've had four kids. I'm not as young as I once was, but look at all the things my body has done. So I have to I grew up in the 90s, uh, so you know, I remember my mom always on the newest fitness craze. Like, do you remember that thing you put on the floor and it was like a a slippery mat and you would wear these shoes and you would slide down the floor?
SPEAKER_01I know what you're talking about.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, she had one of those. I remember playing on that as a kid, but just the things that you see your parents go through, and then it kind of becomes ingrained in you. Like, okay, I'm always striving to be different or better or prettier or skinnier. And with social media, it just got worse. Like, I'm gonna say something that makes me sound old, but I grew up with the internet, and so like watching it watching it, you know become what it is now, like AI is scary because it makes things look very real. And to compare yourself to something that that perfect is just it's scary. And like some AI pictures, they have like six fingers, so that's fine.
SPEAKER_01I don't need another finger.
SPEAKER_00I know yeah, it is a real scary, it's a trap, it really is to always be comparing yourself better.
SPEAKER_01And it's not only women, obviously, who who you know compare appearances and and that kind of thing. Men struggle with that, but I think a category where maybe sometimes men struggle more than women, and and maybe not, maybe it's equal, but um I think guys tend to struggle in like performance. Like, am I have I climbed the ladder higher? Am I am I stronger than? Am I more successful than? And and so we compare in in those ways. Um and again, pastors struggle with this kind of thing. They always play this game of trying not to ask, but always trying to figure out. So, how many people go to your church on Sunday? And like, how big is your church? Like, oh, ours is bigger than yours is bigger than mine, I can't believe that. Or, like, you know, and there's this jealousy that creeps in, but yeah, performance, I think, becomes a way that they how did they get that raise, and I didn't, how did they get the promotion and I didn't um how are their kids doing so well and the things, and you know, um, you know, and my kid didn't make the team and all of that kind of stuff. Like, I think we we're always comparing performance with one another.
SPEAKER_00I feel that during BBS season because some BBS uh in this town, they're amazing, they're great. And they have like a whole team, and like they might have two children's ministry people and not just one. And I I just see how many kids go and it's like a rock concert, and I'm like, I I couldn't do that, and that's okay. That I we're doing what we can do with what we have, and I think you know, we have a lot of fun, so that's something I look forward to, but I also have to like okay, it's not gonna be that, and that's okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah, and and it's um and it's hard to not remember we're all on the same team ultimately, right? Uh, you know, that this isn't about our church having the biggest or the best thing, it's about the kingdom growing, and to keep that perspective can be really hard. So the the fourth area where I think we compare a lot is our circumstances, and these are sometimes things we have no control over. Um, but like how come how come they're able to have children and we're not? How come their uh parents are still living and mine aren't? How come, you know, all of those kinds of uh of things, or just or other other just life circumstances that that happen um where you feel like I'm living right, things should work out well for me, and they're not always, and so I think we just um we can get we can get bitter about that. We can get really just um really focused on what others have that that we don't, and again, vice versa, sometimes, oh poor them, bless their hearts, you know, and oh, it's going so well for me, I must be extra blessed by God. Like we can we compare just general life circumstances sometimes.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I think Hallmark movies have ruined me, and uh all all the beautiful, cheery family moments and all the things that they have, and they're little villages with the perfect everything, and you know, you look at that, it's like I know that's not real. That is not real life. We are full of you know, sin and things happen, and I it's just one of those hard things you have to remember.
SPEAKER_01It's like this yeah, Norman Rockwell painting of a of a life, and it's just not we're when you compare yourself to a mirage, it's never gonna work out well for you. Yeah, and that's what we tend to do. We take little bits of other people's lives or or of stories we've heard, and we're like, it should be like this for me, and it's not. And we compare ourselves to it and we get really down by it. And so here's the spiritual application to it. I I think this is not just a um like with everything else we've talked about, it's not just like a character flaw or you need an attitude adjustment. It's really a heart issue because uh the reality is we are all created by God. We've all been blessed by God. And I think when we look at ourselves and who we are, and we look at our circumstances and these things, and we pout about it, and we're anything less than thankful, um it's kind of a slap in the face to God who created us, who who blessed us with so much. And it's it's a real heart issue where where I think he's like, What are you talking about? Have you not seen what I've given you? So um so two areas um that we're gonna talk about on Sunday. Uh so you'll have a little bit of the upper hand if you're listening to this. Uh, this comes out Friday morning. Uh so you'll have a little bit of upper hand going into the sermon, knowing where we're gonna go. But uh so two areas that I think lead us to contentment. And the first is uh recognizing what you have, just how blessed you are by God. Like if you would step back and take an account and uh and make a list of all the ways God has blessed you, uh you know, I I think you you might change your heart and attitude a little bit. It's really hard when you're in that moment of self-pity and um in that place of they have more and I have less and jealousy in some way to recognize all the good things you have around you. But I think that that's one way that you that steers us towards contentment.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I don't I think if you're busy pouting, you know, it it doesn't leave room for much gratitude. And there's a there's a new trend happening on Instagram right now. It's like the Justin Bieber song is hallelujah, and basically they talk about what they have, and then after they follow it up with hallelujah, like hey, warm house, hallelujah, uh clothes for my kids, hallelujah, um, you know, love for my family, hallelujah. Just things they're grateful for, and then you know, they follow it with that word, which means praise the Lord, which I love because everybody is just praising the Lord for all the things that they have. And I think that's a good way to kind of turn that, you know, like I said, that heart issue and focus on those positive things.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And then um, yeah, so yeah, looking at the things you have, all the ways God's blessed you, um, all the ways that um that that He's just poured into your life in in really beautiful ways, um like just to take an account of those things, I think is really important. And then the second thing, and this is maybe even more important, is to recognize not just what you have, but to recognize who you are, what is your identity in Christ, and who you are is nothing less than exactly who you were created to be. I mean, he was you are made on purpose, and you are made a certain way on purpose, and um and God doesn't mess up when he makes people. Uh he's made you perfect and and um and wonderful and gifted and beautiful just the way that you are. That doesn't mean that there's not things in our lives that we should always be trying to improve. I think self-improvement's a good thing, but you are you were made on purpose. And there's all sorts of statements, and we'll talk about them a little bit on Sunday, all sorts of statements that talk about um just who you are in Christ, your identity in Christ, that you are knit together in your mother's womb, that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, that you are uh an adopted son and daughter of God, all of these things uh that are really uh that should really point us back to our identity in Christ. And so I know we were talking a little bit uh before all of this um about just like what we um how we uh view our identity in Christ and and and what it means to us. And so, what is kind of like discovering who you are in Christ? What is that, how has that impacted your life?
SPEAKER_00Oh man. Um I think I struggled a lot when I was younger in my 20s, like just who am I, what am I here for, what am I doing? Um it was a tough season in my life, and finding this job and becoming, you know, I I had been a part of the church, but it it wasn't until I guess I started this job and I started seeing real change in myself and in my family, you know, all for the good and for the glory of God. And that was really special, seeing those things happen and seeing that real fruit. I had never seen the fruit of you know being with God and having that relationship and what it's doing for my life, but also other people's lives because he's working through me. So I think that was just a really um it's it's been ongoing, honestly, for the last six years. It's been really great. And uh yeah, I just finding my identity in God has been probably the most important thing, you know. Showing his love to others, to children, and especially, I just think it's so important.
SPEAKER_01I I think when you discover who you are and whose you are and you recognize those blessings in your life, that's that's really what leads to contentment. It doesn't always lead to all the things, all the stuff, yeah, right? It doesn't always lead to um I probably have bigger bags under my eyes now because I'm a pastor because I get less sleep and um you know, all of these other things, but those things fade away and the things of importance rise to the top. And uh and I think that that's really what matters. So uh we are gonna work this Sunday on quitting comparing ourselves to others and instead discovering who we are in Christ. And uh, and then just a little teaser, our next series is gonna talk about well, what do we do with that? And how do we take that thing that he created us to be, and what do we do with it in in our lives um as we go out and we serve others? So I hope you'll join us for that on Sunday, and I hope you'll join us uh the next several weeks. Thanks for being here, Corinne.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for asking me.
SPEAKER_01I don't think you had a choice. I was gonna make you do it. So, um, but thankful you're here, and thanks for joining us for another Sermon Prep Podcast.