Episode 23 - A Cord of Three Strands

Pastor Dan and Holly talk about isolation and the importance of relationships in our faith and our lives.

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:17

Hey everybody, welcome to another Sermon Prep Podcast. This is Dan Metzgram, the pastor of St. Mark's United Methodist Church here in Finley, and with me today is my beautiful bride, Holly, who is also our youth director and mother of three, and so many other you have a lot of hats that you wear. Cat mom, dog mom, all of that. Yeah. All of those things. We are and we and we go through life together, which is what we're talking about this week. We do.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

We go together.

SPEAKER_02 0:47

We do. Uh this week we're gonna be talking about the sermon title is We're Better Together. It's in this uh series we're doing called All Together Now, where we talk about how we all need one another, um, especially in the church. And we started off the first week talking about all the different rules and that that there's no uh there's yeah, whether you're old or young or new to the church or whatever it may be, there's a place for you to serve. And uh we come up with a lot of different excuses, but no excuse is a good excuse to not get to serve in the kingdom of God. So we talked about how there's a place for everybody. Uh, and then last week uh Corinne talked about the children and how the children, there's a place for for kids that Jesus was always inviting the kids to come in and to be a part of uh our faith, and that they teach us, they teach us something about about faith. It was a good sermon. It was a great sermon. At the second service, it was great, especially because had the lots of tears. Yeah, little uh a little girl came up and gave her a hug right in the middle of the sermon. It was awesome. Yeah, so cute.

SPEAKER_00 1:50

Impressive that she actually could finish that sermon.

SPEAKER_02 1:53

It really was, especially and Corinne. If you're listening, we love you. We do, but uh it was we know that you might be prone to the emotion of things, and you made it through, and we're very impressed.

SPEAKER_00 2:03

Dan should be nervous.

SPEAKER_02 2:04

Like why you know I'm not nervous, I'm super excited that there's other people that do uh that knock it out of the park job uh so that I can take a Sunday off every now and then. Absolutely. Um this week we're gonna be talking about the idea of where we are better together, and uh what that's about is this idea that sometimes I think we get into this isolation mode. I can't tell you how many people I've heard say something like, I can worship God just as good out playing golf or from my bed or from home or whatever, and like we do it on our own. Um, but that's never been, I don't think it's ever been the intention is is for faith to be something that that we do uh as a as a solo thing.

SPEAKER_00 2:50

Uh our faith is a group project, it is a group project, and I hate group projects.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

I know I generally hate group projects, like at work at school, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Yeah, it's people-y, and I I like to be in control of my own outcomes, and I don't like when other people are in control of that. So yeah, it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 3:12

Did you ever in school when there was a group project and you didn't trust the people in your group, did you ever just do it and put their names on it?

SPEAKER_00 3:22

Yes. All the time.

SPEAKER_02 3:26

That makes that I believe.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

All the time, and I know helping our kids with projects, and I mean same thing where I remember Renee not too long ago in her room, like frustrated because you know, everyone's supposed to have a part, and this one person is not doing their part, and it's due tomorrow. And she was like, Mom, do I just do I just do it and just in case? And I'm like, Yeah, you I would, because otherwise I wouldn't sleep at night.

SPEAKER_02 3:51

So you know what I just thought of, and this and this is really a part of what this uh this whole podcast is about. It's like I'm kind of like working out the sermon as I'm doing as we're talking about this. But what I just thought of is you know, in the Bible, what maybe the ultimate group project was was Moses trying to get the people to the promised land across the desert. Like Moses could have gotten to the promised land by himself, no problem, in probably a month, but it took 40 years to get this whole group of whiny people across, and like you're only as fast as your slowest person, and and they're doing this whole thing together, and you know, when people mess up, you know, God sets them back a little ways, and and it had to have been so frustrating for the quote unquote good people who are doing the right things and the rule followers, and maybe not making a golden calf and worshiping it and all of that, yeah. The rule followers, right?

SPEAKER_00 4:45

Like and it just takes one other person, and in Moses's case, like a lot of other people to ruin it for the rule followers.

SPEAKER_01 4:52

Oh, yeah, would you have been angry in that group?

SPEAKER_00 4:56

I probably would have just left and placed my own trail. I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 5:00

It's amazing that that didn't happen. You would think that there wasn't like a breakoff group of like we're leaving these losers behind, yeah, and we're doing it ourselves.

SPEAKER_00 5:09

A split. Like, I just feel like Moses. I mean, God bless him, wouldn't you just have just said, fine, if this is what you want, you this is your choice, yeah, natural natural consequences. Now you're staying behind, and I'm moving on.

SPEAKER_02 5:21

But yeah, so I and I think the tie-in maybe is and I'm I'm making this up as I go, but I think maybe the tie-in is even for us today, like we we have to always be in the church cognizant of uh some people have been here for 80 years, you know, or whatever it may be. And it would be really easy to to kind of look at new Christians and say, you over there, like I'm doing my faith thing, I don't need to slow down and explain to you what a parable is, or you know, the the story of the real story of Christmas or Easter or something like that. Like you want some of that heavier stuff, but we're called to all do all of this stuff together, we're supposed to do our faith life together. Um so as I was thinking about this, I was thinking, um, there's kind of like these two aspects, like isolation, where which is kind of like I'm just gonna go off and not be around people. It's kind of like a passive version of being alone. And then there's independence, which is a very active version of being alone, like I can do this myself, I don't need other people. And I think those are a couple of traps that we can that we can fall into sometimes where we're like, I don't need other people, I can do this by myself. And we push other people to the side. Now sometimes it's forced on us, and so um uh like the famous example right now is in 2020 during COVID. We had isolation whether we liked it or not.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Yes, very true.

SPEAKER_02 7:02

And it was I think it was hard on a lot of people and on their faith. And um and you know, we're we're kind of in these in these forced alone moments uh where we lose community and everything. Uh and I know we've talked about how we there were parts of COVID we really enjoyed.

SPEAKER_00 7:22

Oh yeah, it was part of it was really great, not the disease. We didn't enjoy that, but the but the lack of slowdown, yeah, the lack of other things that were fighting for our time, it was nice that those all went away. And we got to play board games and take five million walks around Main Street in Finlay and around the block. And I think at one point our girl said, if we have to take one more family walk, but we took so many, and it was great, and I think it's a good memory for all of us.

SPEAKER_02 7:54

But I think the thing we also did during COVID is we found ways to try to break through the the physical isolation um using social media, all sorts of things.

SPEAKER_00 8:08

We used to we used to do trivia. Yeah, we did Metzger trivia, Metzger Family Trivia, and we'd go live on Facebook and we would just come up with questions and like people would they would we would tell them like what time we're gonna do it, and then we'd see all these people like on our Facebook Live and they'd be answering our questions, and it's just a way to interact with people. I mean, your brother did a uh prom, a virtual prom.

SPEAKER_01 8:31

Yeah, where we got Will you be my quarantine?

SPEAKER_00 8:35

Yeah, it was like Valentine's Day time, yeah. And we got all dressed up and like he was DJing, I think, and I don't know how it went, but yeah, just like really creative things. Like, when else in the world would we ever think to do something like that?

SPEAKER_02 8:48

Yeah, and we and yeah, so we did those kinds of things, and there were just uh at the church we did um the palm parade for palm uh palm sundae, where we came, you know, come and get a palm branch and take it and drive up and down Main Street and wave your palms around the hospital, and around the hospital, first responders and workers, and and then the Easter, Easter Sunday that year was one of the most memorable Easter services.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

And I don't know about attendance-wise, but I mean it's hard to tell how many people were in a car, but right, I mean, super just great to be finally like together, even though we were still apart. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:24

I think everybody was everybody was recognizing that for as for as much as we sometimes want to isolate ourselves, I think everybody recognized at that point in time, like, oh, we need each other in some way. We we need one another, we're made for one another. So a couple of scriptures that talk about that. Uh Genesis talks about it right at the beginning, like that the first thing that's not good, it's not good for for that guy to be alone. And I think that's about more than just finding a romantic partner, I think it's just in general for people. It's not good when we're by ourselves. We need we need one another. And then our scripture this week is from Ecclesiastes. Uh, and it's it's this scripture. It says, Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A court of three strands is not quickly broken. True or false. This scripture was read at our wedding.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Um medium.

SPEAKER_01 10:38

I don't know. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

I feel really bad. We both feel like it was it was Corinthians, but maybe we had multiple. It could be. I don't know. I need to reach out to Nicole if you listen to this. I think you read scripture at our wedding. Maybe you remember.

SPEAKER_01 10:53

Nicole Tom?

SPEAKER_00 10:54

Yeah. I'm pretty sure.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

I don't remember.

SPEAKER_00 10:57

I don't know. I could be wrong about that too. We don't know because our wedding video, we could go back and watch the video, but we watched our wedding video a total of one time because the person who did our videography was just a family member and it like made us sick watching it. It was so jerky and not great. So there's no I mean, it's just up for debate the rest of our lives. We don't we don't it doesn't matter, we're still married.

SPEAKER_02 11:21

We're still married.

SPEAKER_00 11:23

Scripture was read.

SPEAKER_02 11:24

I promise there was some sort of scripture.

SPEAKER_00 11:26

There was something.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Yeah. I remember there was music, there's a lot of music. It was Christmassy and you wrote me a song. I did, and you look beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

And my brother almost passed out, and he almost passed out. But it's great. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:38

Um back to the scripture. Two are better than one. If I I like the part of it that says if one falls and there's another with me, you know, he'll be able to pick him up, but pity the person who falls by themselves. Uh, it's kind of this iron sharpens iron kind of idea of we need one another in the hard times to pick us up, to pick us up when we fall, um, when we're going through really difficult struggles, and pity the person who falls and has no one to help them up. I think about that especially in like times when people are grieving and they don't have anybody else around them, they don't have a church family to to walk through all this stuff with them, all the really difficult things of life. Like it feels so important to have that kind of faith community around you when you're going through that.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

Yeah. I mean, I think that back on so many times throughout our lives where, you know, we were blessed that we have had, you know, family, not maybe physically near us our whole marriage. I mean, we've lived, you know, in other states. We've lived in Kentucky a little further away and didn't have family nearby, but still they were always there for us and, you know, willing to, you know, pick up a phone and listen to us or drive down for a night. Or um, and I feel like God always put people in our paths at different churches we were at for, you know, friends and just people who were going through the same phase of life as us, like just when we needed them. And so I think, you know, looking back on that, I think that was is one of the biggest blessings of our lives is just the people that God put in our path to surround us to help us through, you know, some of the ups and downs.

SPEAKER_02 13:15

I also think of the people in in our lives, in my life, who did isolate themselves that I've lost because they um because they chose to isolate themselves when things got hard. Uh whether uh losing them to death by suicide or losing them to an overdose um more people than I than I like to more more more people than I than anyone should have to lose. I no you shouldn't have to lose anyone to that. That they isolated themselves and you know what are the things and it it causes like this sense of it can cause a sense of guilt for me. Um and it's stuff that I've worked through and I know that it's not I know it's like not my fault, it's their own things that they were battling, but it it's this kind of thing that I've had to deal with, this anger, this whatever it might be of why didn't they call? Why didn't they reach out to me? Um, why didn't they think they could come to me with whatever it was that was going on? Why did they try to carry this by themselves and let it crush them? Uh it's that's just so painful uh for me. And and so I'm glad that um and I, you know, I I've never been in that place where I've felt like I was I was that close to the edge, but I I'm so thankful that I've had relationships in my life that before you ever get close to an edge, we've had people who have who have just always been around us be like, hey, how are you guys doing? Hey, what's going on? Or hey, I can see you're going through, you know, or I know you guys are going through a hard time of some sort and they've they've come around us. I'm just so thankful for those kind of people and and I hope that we're that kind of people for others.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah, I think it's um, you know, transparency in relationships is also important because I think, you know, um, you know, you walk into church, you know, every day, how are you? Oh, I'm great. I mean, but are you like how how are you really? Like and I, you know, I appreciate you know, people who, you know, love our church, people in our church who really do care. And um, but other relationships that you all might have too, or that we have, you know, where you know, who are the people in your life that you can be real with and who are the people that you need to be real with, of like, you know, sharing your struggles and not trying to put on this persona like we put on social media of like everything's perfect and happy, and you know, we only we only put our best on social media, nobody's nobody's putting the worst on there, or at least a lot of people don't. And so I think, you know, to normalize that, you know, hey, we're going through things too, and it's okay to be honest and say things are hard, and I could really use an extra hand, or I could, you know, you know, nobody likes to ask for help. It's hard to ask for help, but I think the more the more relationships we have where we feel like we can be transparent with people, the more other people will be transparent with us and asking for help and coming to us when things are hard.

SPEAKER_02 16:09

There's a great quote that come that gets said over and over at Alcoholics Anonymous, where they say, You're only as sick as your secrets, which I I think is I think is really true. The the more that you can that you can share those things with others, what however that might be, um, building those relationships where you can have those um have those important conversations with others, I think is just so so vital. Um I think that and not to stereotype men and women, but I I think we all struggle with this idea of shame, of what shame looks like. I think for guys, sometimes um we're ashamed when it's something we're not able to carry on our own, when it's something that is weighing us down. We're like, I'm supposed to be this guy who can just handle anything and and make it through stuff. And so we have a hard time admitting when we need when we need uh when we're struggling, when we need help, whatever, whatever it might be. I think uh ladies, sometimes um it you have to spend so much time curating this image of who you are that to let any cracks of that show uh can be something that's that like feels shameful in some ways. Um, and so when we when we have that kind of shame welling up, that's when I think sometimes we tend to isolate ourselves. And maybe the key to that is to have those good, godly, uh faith-filled relationships with one another that shame means nothing in, right? That that's like you don't have to be ashamed of anything in front of me or with me. Um that's the court of three strands part, right? It's it's you, me, and God. That's those are the three strands. And you can I I hope you have that with a spouse. Um and I hope you have a couple of other relationships too, where it's where it's that. It's like, and that's a strong bond. It says a court of three strands is not quickly broken because you're all in contact with each other all the time. It's you and this person and God, and you're and you and it gives you the strength to make it through whatever shame or or whatever hard thing you might be going through. Um I think it's super, super vital. And I know that like we try to have that in our relationship. We God has been a part of our relationship since day one. Um that's part of what attracted us to one another, is is this idea that we knew that God was gonna be a central part of our relationship. Um but we also had friendships like that and have friendships like that, and I think that's a beautiful thing. Um this fall we're gonna be doing a thing that kind of leads into this a little bit. I've teased this a few times, but we're gonna be doing a campaign here in the community called uh make it awkward, where the idea is have that awkward conversation with your friend. If you see someone isolating themselves, um, or they're you know just something you just know that there's something off, that that you be that friend that goes and and has that awkward conversation with someone says, Hey, I'm concerned about you, I'm I'm worried about you, are you doing okay? Um, because sometimes it's like this slow fade of they just they just kind of slip away. And it can be really hard for us to have those conversations and to say, uh, hey, tell me about the things you're ashamed of. Tell me about the things that are heavy that you're carrying that might be too heavy for you. Uh, but but that you would be willing to be that person that can save someone's life, and um, and it can just be a vital thing to helping them uh be able to get back up when they fall. So just want to encourage you in that, uh, you don't have to wait for this fall to have those awkward conversations with someone. Uh, but if you uh there's someone you feel like you need to reach out to, um do it. And and if you feel like you're in a place where you've isolated yourself, uh, I hope that in in the church uh that you find someone that you can reach out to, um, or in your family or whoever it might be. Uh, if you need to call me, call your pastor, call call somebody on our staff. We'd love to be able to talk with you and uh just make sure that you're doing okay. We all need one another and yeah, take care of each other.

SPEAKER_00 20:28

This is a group project, so we're not meant to do this alone.

SPEAKER_02 20:30

This is a group project, nobody's allowed to just go off and do it by themselves. So we're doing this thing together, and we're all gonna make it to the promised land together. Kicking and screaming. That's right. Yep, exactly. So true. Exactly. All right, thanks, Holly.

SPEAKER_00 20:46

Yeah, thanks for having me.

SPEAKER_02 20:47

And um, hope to see you this Sunday, and we'll see you next week on another Sermon Prep Podcast.