Karolyn Cares Podcast

Protecting Your Peace Without Guilt - Peace Series

Karolyn Season 1 Episode 5

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0:00 | 8:32

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Hey family, welcome back to Karolyn Cares — where we talk about compassion, community, and commerce in real life. 

We just finished the Silence Series…
and now we’re stepping into the next layer — The Peace Series.

Because learning silence is one thing… but protecting your peace?
That’s where it gets real.

If this message resonates, like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs it.

Let's do this.... together!


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SPEAKER_00

Let me ask you something. When you choose peace, why does it sometimes feel like you're doing something wrong? Let me say that again. When you choose peace, why does it sometimes feel like you're doing something wrong? Why does protecting your peace come with guilt? Hey family, welcome back to Carolyn Cares, where we talk about compassion, community, and commerce in real life. We just finished the silence series, and now we're stepping into the next layer, the peace series, because learning silence is one thing, but protecting your peace, that's where it gets real. If this message resonates, like, subscribe, and share it with someone who needs it. Why peace feels guilty? Here are some areas we'll cover conditioning to be available, fear of disappointing others, being labeled selfish, and people benefiting from your lack of boundaries. Those are our talking points. Peace feels like guilt when you've been taught that your role is to keep everyone else comfortable. But here's the truth: peace is not selfish, it's responsible. Let me say it again. Peace is not selfish, it's responsible. What protecting your peace looks like. Let me give you some examples. One, not responding immediately. You don't owe anyone an immediate response unless it's a life or death situation. I need to clarify that. Also, another example is saying no. Saying no without any additional explanation. Three is leaving conversations early. You know, when you're talking and you sense that the conversation is going in a direction that you don't want it to go into, or someone's trying to steer it in a negative direction, you've got to be willing to leave the conversation early. And number four, not engaging in drama. Oh boy. So protecting your peace doesn't always look dramatic. Sometimes it looks like saying less. Why people react. Here are some areas. They're used to access. So when you're giving somebody access to you, people are going to react. Second, they've benefited from your availability. So when you're always available for somebody, whether they're calling you, they're texting you, they're emailing you, that's why people react. They have benefited from your availability. And lastly, your peace disrupts their expectations. So if you're dealing with someone who's combative, who's argumentative, who likes drama, when you're peaceful, it disrupts their plans, their expectations, your reactions. So when you change, people react. Let me say it again. When you change, people react. Not because you're wrong, but because you're different. Let me say it again. When you change, people react. Not because you're wrong, but because you're different. Reframing guilt. Guilt doesn't always mean you're doing something wrong. Sometimes it means you're doing something new. Boy, that's a good one. Guilt doesn't always mean you're doing something wrong. Sometimes it means you're doing something new. Think about that for a moment. I have some homework for you. This is called a one-piece decision. I want you to choose one situation to protect your peace this week. Choose one situation to protect your peace this week. Here's another homework. And this is called guilt check. I want you to ask, is this guilt or growth? So sometimes we feel guilty over the new the new things that we're doing in our lives to protect our peace. And sometimes we're thinking, is this guilt or is it growth? So ask yourself, you're going to be doing a guilt check. And when you have to deal with decisions and you have to protect your peace, ask yourself, is this guilt I'm feeling, or is this growth? They're two differently opposing things. They're two different things taking place. And then three, we have a pause practice. Don't respond immediately. Sometimes the first thing that may come to your mind may not be the best, the best answer to give, or that may be coming from your emotions, your feelings, and you may say something, just blurt something out of your mind and out of your heart. And you really didn't think it through. You just said yes, or you responded harshly, or you responded judgmentally. And sometimes we just need to just be quiet. Don't respond immediately. Let it sink in, let it resonate, whatever that question, whatever that response is needed. Let it let it sink in, let it marinate as people say it. Let it marinate for a moment before you jump in and you give an answer or you give a solution. Don't respond immediately. You know, we want you to engage in the comments. So tell me where do you need more peace in your life? Where do you need more peace? Is it on the job? Is it in the home? Is it in relationships? Is it in your business or businesses? Where is it that you need more peace? Is it at church? I know we talk about church and we talk about the importance of church and how God makes a difference, but you do understand, and I understand, that there can be some messy situations going on in church. Do you need more peace in dealing with church folk, in dealing with, you know, within the home, in dealing, you know, at work or within your business, within your relationships. Where do you need more peace in your life? Again, if this message has resonated with you or you know somebody that could benefit from this message, like, subscribe, and share this with someone. Someone who needs it. In closing, protecting your peace is not about shutting people out, it's about choosing yourself without apology. You have to be willing to choose yourself without apology. And in our next episode, we're going to focus on when people don't like your boundaries. So again, we want to thank you for giving us your time, for listening in on our peace series. And until next time, bye bye.