You Don't Need Closure - You Need Clarity

Hey family… welcome back to Karolyn Cares…
where we talk about compassion, community, and commerce in real life—
in a way that’s honest, grounded, and necessary.

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And if you want to go deeper, we now have exclusive content through memberships and partnerships, where we have more personal conversations, guided sessions, and real-time support.

Well, our topic for today is....

You Don't Need Closure--You Need Clarity 

Now, let's dive right in.

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And thank you again for liking, subscribing, and sharing this episode with someone you care about. 

Until next time my friends...

Transcript

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Hey family, welcome to Carolyn Cares, where we talk about compassion, community, and commerce in real life in a way that's honest, grounded, and necessary. If you've been looking for a space where you can grow, reflect, and feel understood, you're in the right place. Go ahead and follow, like and share this channel with someone who needs it. And if you want to go deeper, we now have exclusive content through memberships and partnerships where we have more personal conversations, guided sessions, and real-time support. Today's episode we're focused on. You ready? We're focused on you don't need closure, you need clarity. Some of you are waiting for closure from people who were never clear to begin with. Again, my name is Carolyn. I'm your host of Carolyn Cares, and we're finding out, we're discussing again about you don't need closure, you need clarity. What closure really is. So we're going to focus on external versus internal. We're also going to focus on waiting for conversations. So closure keeps you waiting. Clarity, however, sets you free. Let me say that again. Closure keeps you waiting. You're waiting to get the closure from somebody who was never clear to begin with. You're not going to get it. You're not going to get it. So rather than waiting on closure, get clarity. Why do we wait? Because we want validation. While we're waiting for the closure, we want to we want to feel like we mattered, which is nothing wrong with that. But you may not get that closure that you think that you deserve and that you need, supposedly need, or that you've been waiting on. We also want acknowledgement. We want acknowledgement from the person or persons that you know that we were offended or they offended us or they did something, you know, they did something that we weren't happy about. They did something negatively that affected affected you. And you want acknowledgement from them that may never come. Also, you may want fairness. You want people to know, hey, I want to receive justice in this. And it may not happen, folks. So we wait again because we want validation, we're wanting acknowledgement, and we're wanting fairness. What are you hoping they will say? Let's stop there for a moment. What are you hoping that they will say? That they'll say, hey, I'm sorry, that they'll profusely apologize, that they'll come weeping, you know, on their hands and knees, you know, begging you. What are you hoping that they'll say? There needs to be a shift. So in this shift, clarity sounds like this. So the shift is clarity. Clarity needs to resound, and it sounds like this. This is what happened. This is what I accept. This is what I'm choosing next. Do you all hear the difference? So the difference is you're in control of the situation. You're not waiting on someone to validate you, acknowledge you, you know, to show fairness. You're not waiting on that at all. You're you're simply stating this is what happened, this is what I accept, and this is what I'm choosing next. You're you're in the pilot seat, folks, by this. You're in the pilot seat. You're not waiting for somebody to give you to give you what you've been waiting on, you know, this entire time. It may not come in the way that you believe it's going to happen, or it may not come at all. Some of you are waiting to hear from somebody that they're no longer here. They can't talk to you. They no longer have the capability or ability to talk to you, and you're still waiting for some sort of closure that won't happen. So, what you're going to do for for this homework session, because this is a this is actually a session of reflection. You're going to you're going to do some homework and you're going to write down what you're waiting for. Write it all down. And then you're going to replace it with your own statement of clarity. Your own statement of clarity. So, whatever it is, so whether you're waiting for an apology, you're waiting for an admission of guilt, you're waiting for, you know, someone to, you know, state what happened, exactly what happened, the wrong that that occurred. You're going to write down what you're waiting for, but then you're going to replace it with your own statement of clarity. You're going to get this out of your system, and you're going to deal with it by taking in the reins of it yourself. You're not going to allow a person or person, person or persons to give you that closure. You're going to give the closure to yourself. Do you hear what I'm saying? You're going to provide closure to that situation. You don't need another conversation. You just need a decision. You need to make a decision for yourself. You're not going to wait for the conversation because it may not come. Or, yeah, it may never come because the person is not no longer here. Or the person doesn't feel that they've done anything wrong. Or maybe they gave you a haphazard apology and you want something more from that. You want them to dig deeper in acknowledging the hurt or the pain that was caused. And they may not want to, you know, they may not feel that they need to do that to you. So again, you're going to give yourself the closure. You're not going to wait on them. They may not want to, they may not be alive to do so. You're going to jot down what it is that you're waiting for, and then you're going to again replace it with your own statement of clarity. And again, in closing, you don't need another conversation. You need a decision, a decision within yourself to go on and to close this chapter of your life, no matter how painful it is. Some of you, you may not, it may, in addition to closing this chapter, you may need to get external assistance, such as a therapist, a trusted counselor, a trusted person in authority that may be able, may be able to help you walk through these areas. Maybe you're stuck. Maybe you're trying to get out of this situation, but you keep finding yourself opening that door up again and expecting someone to be behind the door, waiting to give you that closure that you so desperately want or need. You may need a third party, a neutral third party who can help you walk through these steps. And don't be afraid of it. If you need therapy or you need a third party to walk you through this process, by all means, do it. Don't be prideful. Don't feel, hey, I can do all of this by myself. You may not have the tools or the capability of doing it by yourself. So that's where you have people that are in place. They have the they have the knowledge, they have the structures, they have the tools that can assist you in bringing closure in these areas of your life that you need to be free from. So I want to thank you for joining us in this conversation today. This was a short conversation, but it was a meaty conversation on closure. You just need clarity. You don't need closure, you need clarity. Some of you, the phrase that I always hear people use that I don't like this word for various reasons. Whenever someone says, I'm so confused, and most people aren't confused. You're not confused. You just don't want to accept what it is that you're seeing or you're experiencing or that you're hearing. You're not confused. You are in a you are in a state of denial. You don't want to accept what it is that you're seeing, what you've experienced. Yeah, you're not confused at all. So if at all possible, remove that word from your from your vocabulary. You're not confused. You do need clarity, but most of you are refusing to accept what it is that has taken place. And in order for you to move on to the next chapter in your life, you have to provide closure for yourself and not the other way around. You can't wait on people because they may not be able, they may not be willing, be willing to give you that closure. You have to provide the closure for yourself. Someone said this years ago, and I I never forgot it. They were speaking this in terms of a relationship, a romantic relationship, but I believe you can apply this same principle in any situation. This person said he was addressing women. So he said, Women, you have to help men close the door in a relationship, because sometimes you'll have a revolving door where you just keep going in and out of people's lives, and people allow you to do that. Where you have to help them close the door. No, when you leave this time, you're not coming back. As a matter of fact, I'm going to change the locks or I'm going to I'm not going to be here anymore. So you won't you won't be able to find me. You're going to help them close the door. Help yourself in closing this door. So again, if you're able to do the work and to do it yourself, by all means go for it. But if you don't have the capability or ability to do so, by all means bring in help. Get assistance. There are there are professionally trained people that can help you walk through these areas and help you to get the clarity and the closure that you need. That's all I have, guys. Thank you for listening in to Carolyn Cares, and we appreciate you. And until next time, bye bye.