#70 | You’re Not Powerless—You’re Just Not Using the Power You Have

You’re not powerless… even if it feels like you are.

Somewhere along the way, you may have started believing that your circumstances, your stress, your past, or even other people are in control of how you feel and how you show up. But what if that’s not actually true?

In this powerful episode of Lead With Swagger, Jennifer Sukalo gets real about why so many people feel stuck, frustrated, or just off—even when life looks “fine” on the outside. It’s not just a few people… it’s everywhere. And the real reason might surprise you.

This isn’t about toxic positivity or pretending everything is okay. It’s about awareness, ownership, and recognizing the power you already have—but may be unintentionally giving away every single day. Through relatable stories and real-life moments, Jennifer breaks down how your internal dialogue shapes your reality, how negative thought patterns quietly take control, and why that constant “this always happens to me” mindset keeps you stuck.

But here’s where it shifts.

You’ll learn how to pause, challenge those automatic thoughts, and start choosing a different narrative—one that creates clarity, confidence, and forward momentum. Because while you can’t control everything that happens to you, you can control how you engage with it—and that’s where your real power lives.

If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed, disconnected, or like something just isn’t clicking… this episode is your wake-up call.

Because the truth is—
You’re not powerless…
You’re just not using the power you have.

And once you start?
That’s when everything begins to change.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:09

Hey there, and welcome back to the Lead with Swagger podcast. I'm your host, Jennifer Socala, leadership and personal development strategist, and someone who's deeply passionate about helping you step into your power, own your value, and lead your life with intention, confidence, and yes, swagger. All right, I want to start with a question. Have you noticed how unhappy people seem lately? Like everywhere you turn, it doesn't even matter what's going on. Someone could be on a beach in Mexico, drinking hand, ocean view in front of them, and still say, I'm just not feeling it. And you're like, wait, what? I actually had a conversation with someone not long ago. And on paper, this person had everything. Great job, beautiful home, family, financial stability, support system, like the checklist, fully checked, and yet miserable. Then just the other day, I was speaking with someone who was literally on vacation, and they said to me, I think I'm depressed. And I remember sitting there thinking, what is going on? Because it's not just a few people, it's everywhere. There was a Gallup poll that found only about half of the people in the US say they're very satisfied with their lives. And nearly half of adults say they feel more anxious than they did the year before. So what's happening here? Why are so many people unhappy, even when things are objectively okay? Here's where this started to click for me. I don't think it's just about what's happening to people. I think it's about something we've forgotten. We've forgotten the power and control we actually have. Now, before you roll your eyes and go, oh great, here comes the just think positive speech. No, that is not what we're doing here. This is not about pretending everything is fine when it's not. This is about choice. You see, some people are wired, conditioned even, to see the negative first. You might think of them as glass half empty. You know, they're waiting for the other shoe to drop, assuming the worst, and you'll hear it in the language. This always happens to me. This is never going to work. This is the worst. And listen, if that's the soundtrack running in your head all day, of course you're going to feel stuck. Of course you're going to feel unhappy because your brain is literally filtering your life through a lens of everything is wrong. And here's the thing: we're not just doing this internally, we're being fed this constantly. News, social media, conversations. It's like a 24-7 broadcast of the sky is falling, everything is terrible. Brace yourself. No wonder people feel the way they do. And I caught myself doing this not too long ago. I had one of those days where nothing major was really wrong, but everything felt off. I had started to stack thoughts like, this is too much. I'm behind. This is never gonna get easier. And then I had this moment where I literally stopped and thought, wait a minute, what am I doing right now? Nothing had actually changed in my external world, but internally I had gone full doom spiral. Sound familiar? But here's the truth that changed everything for me. Now, you don't control everything that happens to you, but you do control how you engage with it. You get to choose which thoughts you entertain and nurture, which ones you challenge, which ones you let go of. That is power. And a lot of people have handed that power away without even realizing it. But let's be real though. Because I'd like to be very clear about something. Life can be hard. Sometimes it's not just hard, it's heartbreaking, it's messy, it's unfair. So, yes, feel your feelings, feel the frustration, the anger, the sadness, but don't live there. Because after that initial reaction, there is a moment, a small, often unnoticed moment, where you get to choose what happens next. What if instead, instead of this always happens to me, you tried, what can I learn from this? Or instead of this is the worst, you asked yourself, what's one thing here that's still okay? Instead of everything is falling apart, you looked for what's still within my control right now. This is not about delusion, it's about direction. And here's the part: people don't always want to hear. You are responsible for your happiness. You are responsible for your happiness. Not your partner, not your boss, not the government, not your circumstances, you. And I know that can feel heavy at first, but it's actually incredibly freeing because if it's yours, that means you can do something about it. When you step into this mindset, something shifts. You stop feeling like life is happening to you and start believing it might be happening for you. You start seeing possibilities instead of problems, opportunities instead of obstacles or inevitabilities. And no, that doesn't mean everything becomes easy, but it does mean you stop giving your power away. All right, now let's make this practical. Here's your homework because you know I'm not letting you leave without something to do. For the next three days, that's it, just three days. Pay attention to your thoughts, not every single one of them. Don't overanalyze everything, but notice patterns. Notice when you say things like always, never, this is the worst. And when you catch it, pause and ask yourself, is this actually true? Or is this just the story I'm telling myself? Then choose a different thought. Choose to reframe the narrative. Not a fake one, not a forced one, just a slightly more empowering one. That's it. Small shift, big impact. If helplessness can be learned, then so can happiness, so can resilience, so can perspective. You are not stuck, you are not powerless, you've just forgotten the power and control you actually have. If this episode hit home for you, if you found yourself somewhere in this conversation, do me a favor, share it with someone who might need this reminder as well. And if you haven't already, hit the follow button. You don't want to miss any of these conversations, development and learning opportunities, because we're just getting started. Until next time, step into your power and go lead your life with swagger.