#74 | The Art of Being: Why Slowing Down Might Be the Most Powerful Thing You Do

What if time isn’t actually flying by? What if we’re just moving too fast to notice our own lives?

In this episode of Lead With SWAGGER, Jennifer Sukalo shares a powerful reflection from a fly-fishing trip to the Bahamas with her husband, where each day felt long, full, and deeply alive. Standing on the bow of the boat, surrounded by birdsong, breeze, and crystal-clear turquoise water, she experienced something many of us have been missing: the feeling of truly being present.

Jennifer explores two life-changing truths from that trip: how nature helps reset our nervous systems and slow time down, and why learning the art of being—not just doing—may be one of the most important leadership skills we can build. She also shares how this same kind of peace shows up for her at the barn with her four-legged therapists, and why small moments of presence can change everything.
This episode is raw, honest, grounding, and full of real-life reminders for anyone who feels stuck in nonstop motion. Plus, Jennifer leaves you with a simple challenge to practice this week so you can step out of survival mode and back into your life.

If you’ve been craving peace, perspective, and a way to slow the chaos, this one is for you.

Transcript

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There are days that feel like they disappear in the blink of an eye. And then there are days that feel so full, so rich, so present that they almost stretch open in front of you. Now, I recently had a few of those latter days. And here's the wild part. Nothing huge happened. I didn't solve world peace. I didn't clear my inbox to zero because, I mean, let's be honest, does that even exist for more than what, seven seconds? I didn't suddenly become one of those magical people who drinks enough water, answers every text, meal preps, and meditates all before 6 a.m. No. I just got still enough to notice my life. And that changed something in me. Welcome back to Lead with Swagger, the podcast where we get real raw and ridiculously honest about what it takes to lead with confidence, authenticity, and a whole lot of heart. I'm your host, Jennifer Socalo, and today we're talking about something I think so many of us are desperate for, even if we don't have the words for it. We're talking about the art of being. Not doing more, not pushing harder, not squeezing one more thing into the calendar because apparently we've all decided that exhaustion is a personality trait. No, just being. Recently, my husband and I got back from a fly fishing trip to the Bahamas, and every single day there felt like one of those strange, beautiful days that seem to last forever. You know the kind, the kind where you look at the clock and you think, surely it must be at least 4 p.m. and it's like 9 15 in the morning. I kept asking myself, how is this even possible? How can a day feel so expansive, so slow, so full? And when I reflected on it, I realized it came down to two key things. First, being immersed in nature, and second, practicing the art of being instead of constantly doing. So let's start with the first one. Now, nature has its own rhythm. And when you are truly in it, not driving past it, not glancing at it through a window while answering emails, not saying, Wow, what a pretty day while stress-eating a protein bar in your car, but really in it. Your whole body begins to align with the pace around you. Standing on the bow of that boat, everything slowed down. All I could hear were birds, water, the breeze. No traffic, no phone notifications, no random appliance beeping at me like it has opinions, no man-made sounds of any kind. Just nature, just rhythm, just life happening without demanding anything from me. And then there was the water. That crystal clear turquoise water that honestly felt too beautiful to be real. So beautiful it almost looks fake, like someone turned the saturation up too high in real life. Looking down into it, searching for bone fish, which, by the way, are basically underwater ninjas, these fish humble you really quickly. You think you see one, then you don't. Then your guide says 10 o'clock, 40 feet, and suddenly you're panic casting like your entire life depends on it. It's chaos, peaceful chaos, which honestly feels a bit like a perfect metaphor for life. And it felt as close to heaven on earth as I can describe. It was magical, truly peaceful, therapeutic in a way that is honestly hard to put into words. There was something about it that made me feel both very small and deeply connected at the same time. Like, wow, this world is so much bigger, quieter, and wiser than the noise I usually live inside. And time? Time seemed to stand still. I would think an hour had passed and it had been 10 minutes. 10 minutes. I mean, back home, I can lose 10 minutes just trying to remember why I walked into a room. But out there, 10 minutes felt expansive, full, alive. That got my attention because I don't think that was an accident. I think nature reset me. I think it reset my body, my mind, my nervous system, maybe even my soul. When we immerse ourselves in nature, something shifts. Because nature doesn't rush. Our breathing changes, our shoulders drop, our thoughts, our thoughts stop sprinting. We remember we are not machines. We were never meant to live like machines. And leadership, real leadership, requires that reset. When you are constantly overstimulated, overscheduled, and overextended, you're not leading from clarity. You're leading from survival mode. And survival mode might get things done, but it rarely gets the best of you. You see, we've come to normalize chaos. And then we wonder why we're exhausted. So let's talk about the second part of this: the art of being instead of doing. Now, this one hit me quite hard. You see, I came to realize that we are addicted to doing. And listen, I'm saying we because I absolutely include myself in this. Like so many of you, my normal life is full. Maybe yours is too. We're executing all day long, getting from one place to the next, checking things off the list, answering the email, returning the call, handling the fire, then handling the fire that started because of the first fire, then trying to remember if we actually ate lunch or just looked at a granola bar with determination. We become professionals at doing. And listen, doing is not bad. We need to do things. Lives do not run on vibes alone. But when our entire identity gets wrapped up in output, productivity, and movement, we lose touch with presence. And that is where time starts to disappear. When we're so focused on doing, the day slips by unnoticed. Then suddenly it's evening and we're standing in the kitchen wondering how it's already dark, why we're exhausted, and what exactly we did all day. Have you ever had one of those days where you were busy from morning to night and still felt like you never actually arrived anywhere? Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. But in the Bahamas, when we were not fishing, we were simply being. We were present. We were taking in the warmth of the sun on our faces, listening to the waves lapping at the shore, savoring the stillness, letting the day unfold instead of trying to force it into a schedule. The only real way we noticed time passing was by watching the sun change position in the sky. That's it. No constant checking, no rushing, no trying to optimize every second, just being where we were. And I think that is why those days felt so long. Because we were actually inside them, not ahead of them, not behind them, not trying to outrun them, inside them. There is so much power in that. Now, here's why this matters so much as leaders. Because burned out leaders don't lead well. Disconnected leaders don't connect well, and leaders who never slow down eventually lose themselves. You cannot create calm for your team if you live in constant chaos yourself. You cannot inspire presence while operating in permanent survival mode. And listen, this isn't about abandoning ambition. I love ambition. I love goals, I love growth, I love building things. But I also know this. If we never pause long enough to actually experience our lives, what are we working so hard for? Leadership is not just about performance, it's about presence. And some of the most powerful leaders I know are the ones who know how to slow down enough to truly see people, hear people, connect with people. Because presence is powerful, and presence requires being, not just doing. Now, let me make this, let me make this real in an everyday kind of way. Because, you know, not all of us can hop on a plane to the Bahamas every time life gets loud. As amazing as that sounds, most of us have meetings, obligations, laundry, and a refrigerator that somehow keeps becoming everyone's emotional support destination. So, what does this look like in real life? For me, one place where this happens regularly is at the barn. Over the years, the barn has become one of my deepest places of presence. It's where I practice letting go, letting go of the stress, letting go of the worry, letting go of the ever-growing to-do list that likes to follow me around like an unpaid intern. When I'm there with my four-legged therapists, something shifts. And horse people listening right now are nodding because you get it. There's something about being around horses that demands presence. They don't care about your title, they don't care about your LinkedIn profile, they don't care how many emails you answer today. They respond to your energy. And over the years, the barn has become a sacred reset space for me. I become present. Not perfect, not magically transformed into some Zen Woodland woman, but present. I pay attention, I breathe differently, I notice things. The sound of movement, the feel of the air, the quiet connection that happens when you stop trying to manage everything and simply allow yourself to be in the moment. That space reminds me again and again that peace is not always found in grand gestures. Sometimes it's found in small returns. A barn, a walk, a body of water, a patch of sun, a few quiet minutes, a few quiet minutes without your phone. A moment when you stop performing your life and start inhabiting it. And that matters. Because the art of being is not about escaping your responsibilities, it's about remembering yourself inside them. It's about building resets into your life. It's about creating moments where you tune out the noise and tune back into what is real, grounding, and true. Maybe for you that's sitting outside in the morning before the house wakes up. Maybe it's taking a walk without a podcast for once. I know. Bold move. Maybe it's hiking, maybe it's meditating. Maybe it's standing in a museum and letting yourself really look at something instead of rushing to the next thing. Maybe it's gardening. Maybe it's sitting in your car for three extra minutes after you park just to breathe and arrive. The point is not what it is, the point is that it brings you back, that it helps you practice being instead of only doing. And if you build that into your regular life, I really do believe you'll start to feel the difference. Your heart slows down, your thoughts get quieter, your body softens, your moments become more vivid. Your life starts to feel less like something happening to you and more like something you are actually living. That is powerful. That is healing. So here's your challenge for this week. I'm calling it the before you do challenge. And I'd like you to keep it simple. Step one, choose one 10-minute window this week. That's it. 10 minutes. You do have 10 minutes. Now I say that with love. Step two, go somewhere that helps you slow down. Outside in nature is ideal if you can. A porch, a park, a trail, a bench, your backyard, the barn, wherever works. Step three, leave your phone behind, or at the very least, put it on silent and put it out of reach. If your phone comes with you, it will try to make this about itself. Step four, for those 10 minutes, do nothing productive. No multitasking, no planning, no fixing, no note-taking about your experience, like you're a field researcher in your own life. Just notice. Notice what you hear, notice what you see, notice the pace of your breath, notice where your mind runs. Notice what changes when you stop pushing. And lastly, step five, when you're done, ask yourself one question. What did I feel when I gave my pet myself permission to simply be? What did I feel when I gave myself permission to simply be? That's it. And if you want to take it one step further, do it three times this week instead of one. Tiny resets. Huge impact. Now, before we close, I'd like to leave you with this. Your life is not meant to be one long sprint from task to task. You are allowed to pause, you are allowed to savor, you are allowed to build a rhythm that honors your humanity. And the beautiful thing is, you don't have to earn that. You just have to practice it. So if this episode spoke to you, here's what I'd love for you to do: don't just follow the show. Send this episode as a permission slip to someone who needs help getting off the hamster wheel. Text it to them, DM it to them, drop it in the group chat and say, this is your reminder to breathe. And while you're at it, hit follow so this podcast can keep showing up in your life, like that honest friend who loves you enough to tell you the truth and hand you water. And if this episode landed in your heart, share it. Let's start a ripple of leaders who know how to pause, reset, and actually be where their feet are. Thank you for being here. Thank you for listening. Thank you for doing this work. I'm proud of you. And I'd like for you to hear this clearly. I believe in you deeply. I believe you are capable of creating a life that feels meaningful, not just productive. A life where success and peace can coexist. A life where you don't just rush through your days, but actually live them. Even if right now things feel noisy, even if right now slowing down feels unnatural, I still believe in you. You can do this. Until next time, stop rushing through your life. Start being present for it. And as always, keep leading with swagger.