#76 | The Secret to Lasting Change: P³ – Patience, Practice, and Perseverance

Ever find yourself repeating the same habits you promised you'd change?

In this episode of Lead with Swagger, Jennifer Sukalo shares two funny but powerful stories about faucets and dog training that reveal why change feels so difficult. The truth is, lasting transformation isn't about knowing better. It's about consistently choosing a new path until it becomes your new normal.

Jennifer introduces her P³ framework: Patience, Practice, and Perseverance, and explains why growth requires repetition, grace, and a willingness to stay committed during the uncomfortable stages of change.

If you're working to become a better leader, communicator, parent, coach, or simply a better version of yourself, this episode will remind you that the goal isn't perfection. It's progress.

Transcript

0:11

Have you ever caught yourself doing something so ridiculous that you immediately looked around to make sure nobody else saw it? I have multiple times recently in my own kitchen. And it involved a faucet. Now, before you start questioning whether I'm qualified to host a leadership podcast, hear me out. For years in our previous home, we had one of those fancy touchless faucets. You simply waved your hand underneath it and the water turned on. Magic, technology, the future. Then we moved. And in our new home, the faucet requires a completely revolutionary concept. You have to turn it on. I know, groundbreaking. Yet for months, I would walk up to the sink, wave my hand underneath it, and then stand there wondering why nothing was happening. Like somehow the faucet was broken, or maybe the faucet was judging me. And every single time I'd think, seriously, Jennifer, again? But here's what's fascinating. I knew how the faucet worked. I understood the new process. I wasn't confused. Yet my brain kept defaulting back to the old behavior. Why? Because that's where the pathway was. That's where the habit lived. That's where comfort was. And whether we're talking about faucets, leadership, relationships, communication, confidence, or even life, we do the same thing every single day. Welcome back to Lead with Swagger, the podcast where we get real, raw, and ridiculously honest about what it takes to lead with confidence, authenticity, and a whole lot of heart. I'm your host, Jennifer Socallo, and today we're talking about why change feels so hard, why we keep falling back into old habits, and the three things that make lasting transformation possible: patience, practice, and perseverance. Or, as I like to call it, which many of you have heard me say numerous times, P to the power of three. You see, our brains are incredibly efficient. They love shortcuts, they love familiarity, they love the path of least resistance. Think of a hiking trail. If a trail has been walked on thousands of times, it's easy to follow, right? It's worn, it's clear, there's signage, it's comfortable. Now imagine trying to create a brand new trail through thick woods and underbrush. That's work. You have to pay attention, you have to be intentional, you have to keep choosing the new path over and over again. That is exactly what happens when we're trying to change behavior. Those old habits, they're well-worn trails. The new behaviors, they're the paths we're carving through the woods. And if we're not intentional, if we're not focused, guess where we naturally go? Exactly. Right back to the familiar trail. Now, I got another powerful reminder of this just this weekend. We picked our dog up from a six-week training program. Shout out to Jennifer and Sydney at QK Dogs. Thank you so much for the amazing learning and growth opportunity. You see, because graduation day arrived, the trainers were there. They were watching. And let me tell you, I was an absolute rock star. Well, at least in my own mind. I was professional, confident, focused, giving commands like I was training military working dogs. I thought, look at me, I've got this. And then we got home. And within about five minutes, I started slipping right back into my old patterns. Anybody else ever do this? You leave a workshop, you leave a conference, you leave a coaching session, you leave inspired, motivated, ready to change your life. Then Tuesday shows up, and suddenly you're behaving exactly like you did before. Not because you didn't learn, not because you aren't capable, not because the training didn't work, but because habits are powerful. Patterns are powerful, and awareness alone doesn't create change. Practice does. What's interesting is that I wasn't the only one reverting back to old habits. Our dog was too. And honestly, it was incredibly informative. His behaviors revealed just how much control he'd previously had. Apparently, somewhere along the way, my husband and I had accidentally become employees in our dog's organization. We thought we were leading. Turns out we were negotiating constantly. The dog wasn't following us, we were following him. And that's when it hit me. We weren't leading, we were enabling, we were creating, we weren't creating conditions for growth. We were creating conditions for comfort. And isn't isn't that true in leadership too? I mean, sometimes we think we're helping people, we think we're being nice, we think we're making things easier, but what we're actually doing is preventing growth. Because growth requires discomfort. Growth requires challenge. Growth requires change. In my last episode, I talked about practice. And practice matters because sustainable change doesn't happen through understanding, it happens through repetition. You don't become a great fly fisher because you watched a video. You become a great fly fisher because you cast thousands of times. You don't become a great horseback rider because you read a book. You become a great rider by getting back in the saddle again and again. You don't become a great leader because you attended a workshop. You become a great leader because you apply what you learned consistently over time. The reps matter. The repetition matters. The practice matters. The problem is that most people quit during the awkward phase. You know exactly what I'm talking about. The phase where you're not who you used to be, but you're not yet who you're becoming. This is the phase where everything feels clunky, messy, uncomfortable, frustrating. It's like learning to dance. You know what the move is supposed to look like, but your body looks like it's receiving information from another planet. Leadership development feels the same way. Learning a new communication style feels the same way. Changing habits feels the same way. And that's why P to the power of three matters. Patience, practice, and perseverance. Patience because change takes longer than we want it to. Practice because repetition creates mastery and perseverance because there will be days when you feel like you're making zero progress. And on those days, keep going. Because here's what I've learned through fly fishing, horseback riding, dog training, leadership, and life. The people who grow aren't always the most talented. They're the most committed. They're the people willing to keep showing up, the people willing to be beginners, the people willing to look awkward, the people willing to fail, learn, adjust, and try again. So if you're trying to change something right now: a leadership habit, a communication pattern, a mindset, a behavior, a belief, give yourself some grace. Seriously. It took years to build some of those patterns. It's okay if they don't disappear in a week. You're not failing because you're still catching yourself doing the old thing. You're learning, you're practicing, you're becoming. There's a difference. And leaders, this applies directly to us. When we receive feedback, we become aware of blind spots. When we recognize behaviors that no longer serve us, the work has just begun. Awareness is powerful, but awareness without action changes nothing. You have to practice. You have to intentionally choose the new path again and again and again. Until eventually what felt unnatural becomes natural. What felt forced becomes effortless, and what required focus becomes habit. So here's your swagger challenge for this week. Identify one thing, one behavior, one habit, one mindset you're actively trying to change. Just one, not your entire personality, one behavior. Then ask yourself: what is one small action I can practice every day this week that supports the change I desire? Write it down. Track it. Notice when you revert back to old patterns, not with judgment, with curiosity. Remember, every time you catch yourself falling back into an old habit, it's not evidence that you're failing. It's evidence that you're paying attention. And attention is where change begins. Now, before we wrap up, I'd like to tell you something. I'm proud of you. Not because you're perfect, not because you've figured everything out, not because you've mastered every challenge in your life. I'm proud of you because you're here. You're listening, you're learning, you're investing in yourself. You're choosing growth when comfort would be easier. You're choosing awareness when autopilot would be simpler. You're choosing possibility over excuses. And maybe nobody told you this today, so I'm going to. Every uncomfortable step, every awkward attempt, every moment you choose growth over familiarity. It's all adding up. I believe in your ability to become the leader you're capable of being. Not someday, starting today, starting right now, one intentional choice at a time. And if this episode resonated with you, here's something different. Don't just share the episode. Become a talent scout. Think of one person in your life who is working hard to grow, lead, improve, or change. One person who needs this reminder. Send them this episode and simply say, I thought of you when I heard this. That's it. No explanation needed. Because sometimes the greatest gift we can give someone is a reminder that they're not doing the work alone. And if you haven't already, hit follow. So these conversations keep showing up right when you need them. Until next time, keep leading, keep learning, keep practicing, and keep leading with swagger.