{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.81,"body":"This is The Awkward Handshake, a"},{"startTime":0.0,"endTime":3.81,"body":"podcast about networking business"},{"startTime":3.81,"endTime":5.55,"body":"and what really happens in the room."},{"startTime":5.61,"endTime":8.94,"body":"We're unpacking the good, the bad,"},{"startTime":5.61,"endTime":8.94,"body":"and the awkward, so you can build"},{"startTime":8.94,"endTime":10.5,"body":"better connections and get paid."},{"startTime":10.56,"endTime":11.43,"body":"Let's get into it."},{"startTime":12.473,"endTime":14.453,"body":"today is the 1st of May."},{"startTime":14.633,"endTime":18.413,"body":"We kick off Mental Health Month for the"},{"startTime":14.633,"endTime":18.413,"body":"month of May, and we could think of no"},{"startTime":18.413,"endTime":23.123,"body":"one better to bring onto the podcast"},{"startTime":18.413,"endTime":23.123,"body":"than our friend Micah Freeman, who is a"},{"startTime":23.123,"endTime":26.303,"body":"licensed therapist, an amazing person."},{"startTime":26.333,"endTime":29.843,"body":"And we knew from when we started getting"},{"startTime":26.333,"endTime":29.843,"body":"ready to do the show that we wanted"},{"startTime":29.843,"endTime":32.933,"body":"to do this, but then we realized that"},{"startTime":29.843,"endTime":32.933,"body":"we were gonna be airing at the end of"},{"startTime":32.933,"endTime":36.353,"body":"the season during Mental Health Month,"},{"startTime":32.933,"endTime":36.353,"body":"and it just seemed really appropriate."},{"startTime":36.353,"endTime":37.178,"body":"And honestly, a lot of mental health."},{"startTime":37.499,"endTime":39.269,"body":"topics have come up in"},{"startTime":37.499,"endTime":39.269,"body":"the course of recording."},{"startTime":39.269,"endTime":39.569,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":39.569,"endTime":44.237,"body":"I mean, one of your most popular questions"},{"startTime":39.569,"endTime":44.237,"body":"when you're coaching people is, is this a"},{"startTime":44.237,"endTime":46.487,"body":"therapy question that you're encountering?"},{"startTime":46.487,"endTime":51.647,"body":"and Micah actually sets us up so"},{"startTime":46.487,"endTime":51.647,"body":"well in the episode for today because"},{"startTime":51.647,"endTime":57.047,"body":"he talks about how businesses can"},{"startTime":51.647,"endTime":57.047,"body":"frequently be used as distraction tools."},{"startTime":57.047,"endTime":57.737,"body":"And it was like, ugh."},{"startTime":57.737,"endTime":58.817,"body":"Oh, it hurt."},{"startTime":60.053,"endTime":63.743,"body":"it really was about like, are you"},{"startTime":60.053,"endTime":63.743,"body":"looking to try to fix something"},{"startTime":63.743,"endTime":67.583,"body":"externally when what you really"},{"startTime":63.743,"endTime":67.583,"body":"need to do is some internal work?"},{"startTime":67.583,"endTime":70.968,"body":"And I was like, that's so much more"},{"startTime":67.583,"endTime":70.968,"body":"elegant of a way to talk about it than."},{"startTime":70.968,"endTime":75.879,"body":"My like super blunt way, like is this a"},{"startTime":70.968,"endTime":75.879,"body":"business problem or a therapy problem?"},{"startTime":75.879,"endTime":80.619,"body":"but there's so much context around"},{"startTime":75.879,"endTime":80.619,"body":"this concept and you and I have noticed"},{"startTime":80.649,"endTime":83.019,"body":"that we make community for people."},{"startTime":83.019,"endTime":85.089,"body":"We go out into community"},{"startTime":83.019,"endTime":85.089,"body":"with other people."},{"startTime":85.089,"endTime":87.609,"body":"People talk about their"},{"startTime":85.089,"endTime":87.609,"body":"anxieties pretty regularly."},{"startTime":87.609,"endTime":90.069,"body":"Thankfully, COVID opened"},{"startTime":87.609,"endTime":90.069,"body":"up a lot of dialogue around"},{"startTime":90.069,"endTime":91.149,"body":"mental health, which is great."},{"startTime":91.149,"endTime":92.829,"body":"But anxiety is a real problem."},{"startTime":92.829,"endTime":94.779,"body":"You and I are very different in the sense."},{"startTime":94.779,"endTime":97.719,"body":"I have literally been"},{"startTime":94.779,"endTime":97.719,"body":"not diagnosed officially."},{"startTime":97.719,"endTime":100.689,"body":"I am neither anxious nor"},{"startTime":97.719,"endTime":100.689,"body":"depressed, clinically speaking."},{"startTime":100.689,"endTime":104.499,"body":"So I realize I have a really hard"},{"startTime":100.689,"endTime":104.499,"body":"time understanding the anxious"},{"startTime":104.499,"endTime":108.099,"body":"experience and like I have my"},{"startTime":104.499,"endTime":108.099,"body":"anxieties, but everyone does."},{"startTime":108.099,"endTime":108.249,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":108.279,"endTime":108.459,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":108.459,"endTime":112.569,"body":"but I know I don't experience it the way"},{"startTime":108.459,"endTime":112.569,"body":"that so many other people do, I think"},{"startTime":112.569,"endTime":114.579,"body":"it's so important that we make sure that."},{"startTime":114.579,"endTime":118.689,"body":"All of the things that might prevent"},{"startTime":114.579,"endTime":118.689,"body":"you from building a great business or"},{"startTime":118.689,"endTime":122.079,"body":"being out in community and having the"},{"startTime":118.689,"endTime":122.079,"body":"support that everyone should have,"},{"startTime":122.079,"endTime":126.219,"body":"that there are resources that will"},{"startTime":122.079,"endTime":126.219,"body":"help you do that, even if you have some"},{"startTime":126.219,"endTime":128.709,"body":"pretty significant things like anxiety."},{"startTime":128.709,"endTime":129.039,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":129.039,"endTime":132.219,"body":"I mean, growing up, my grandpa would"},{"startTime":129.039,"endTime":132.219,"body":"always say it's all in your head."},{"startTime":132.219,"endTime":133.749,"body":"It's like, yes it is."},{"startTime":133.749,"endTime":134.199,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":134.199,"endTime":137.499,"body":"But like you said, like you haven't had"},{"startTime":134.199,"endTime":137.499,"body":"the experience, so you know you're missing"},{"startTime":137.499,"endTime":140.079,"body":"out on the mental aspects of it, right."},{"startTime":140.079,"endTime":142.239,"body":"That can cloud your perceptions"},{"startTime":140.079,"endTime":142.239,"body":"and things like that."},{"startTime":142.239,"endTime":145.539,"body":"But also, like there's, there's physical"},{"startTime":142.239,"endTime":145.539,"body":"responses that a lot of times it"},{"startTime":145.539,"endTime":149.559,"body":"feels like either you have no control"},{"startTime":145.539,"endTime":149.559,"body":"over or Oh, this is totally what"},{"startTime":149.704,"endTime":151.839,"body":"everyone else in the room is feeling."},{"startTime":151.839,"endTime":155.349,"body":"and we didn't really have time to go"},{"startTime":151.839,"endTime":155.349,"body":"into it, but as Micah was talking and"},{"startTime":155.379,"endTime":157.659,"body":"about like, preparing to go to an event."},{"startTime":157.659,"endTime":160.449,"body":"when I am not with you,"},{"startTime":157.659,"endTime":160.449,"body":"if I have to drive solo."},{"startTime":160.449,"endTime":161.289,"body":"is it different?"},{"startTime":161.289,"endTime":164.503,"body":"I mean, I assume, yeah, so because"},{"startTime":161.289,"endTime":164.503,"body":"driving for me is also difficult"},{"startTime":164.533,"endTime":165.643,"body":"'cause I don't have debt perception."},{"startTime":165.643,"endTime":166.153,"body":"So yeah."},{"startTime":166.183,"endTime":167.773,"body":"I'm always just, and going someplace new."},{"startTime":167.773,"endTime":171.583,"body":"I just always, there's a lot of like,"},{"startTime":167.773,"endTime":171.583,"body":"am I, am I gonna make it on time?"},{"startTime":171.583,"endTime":172.693,"body":"Where am I gonna park?"},{"startTime":172.693,"endTime":173.773,"body":"Is this gonna be easy?"},{"startTime":173.773,"endTime":174.673,"body":"Am I gonna find my way?"},{"startTime":174.673,"endTime":175.753,"body":"Is it dark outside?"},{"startTime":175.753,"endTime":176.743,"body":"what's gonna happen?"},{"startTime":176.773,"endTime":179.773,"body":"Just a lot of variables you"},{"startTime":176.773,"endTime":179.773,"body":"will laugh, but it works."},{"startTime":179.773,"endTime":181.993,"body":"I'll generally be doing"},{"startTime":179.773,"endTime":181.993,"body":"a breathing exercise."},{"startTime":182.023,"endTime":185.833,"body":"So it's either box breathing or I"},{"startTime":182.023,"endTime":185.833,"body":"generally put on music if I sing"},{"startTime":185.833,"endTime":187.423,"body":"to something uhhuh, that helps."},{"startTime":187.423,"endTime":189.103,"body":"Oh, you're activating your vagus nerves."},{"startTime":189.133,"endTime":189.403,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":189.403,"endTime":190.303,"body":"Or I literally just."},{"startTime":190.303,"endTime":193.843,"body":"Every exhale is just a hum"},{"startTime":190.303,"endTime":193.843,"body":"uhhuh for as long as you can go."},{"startTime":193.843,"endTime":197.088,"body":"And so you're just like cruising"},{"startTime":193.843,"endTime":197.088,"body":"around town, you know, just hum away."},{"startTime":197.088,"endTime":199.333,"body":"Look at you doing somatic"},{"startTime":197.088,"endTime":199.333,"body":"therapy in the car while you're"},{"startTime":199.333,"endTime":201.253,"body":"driving through Portland traffic."},{"startTime":201.253,"endTime":204.823,"body":"It's just like one of those steps to"},{"startTime":201.253,"endTime":204.823,"body":"be like, I know I wanna go to this."},{"startTime":204.823,"endTime":208.123,"body":"I know my body and mind"},{"startTime":204.823,"endTime":208.123,"body":"are having a feeling."},{"startTime":208.123,"endTime":209.113,"body":"But I still wanna go."},{"startTime":209.143,"endTime":211.693,"body":"this is one step, instead of"},{"startTime":209.143,"endTime":211.693,"body":"just pretending it doesn't"},{"startTime":211.693,"endTime":214.993,"body":"exist, telling myself like, you"},{"startTime":211.693,"endTime":214.993,"body":"shouldn't be anxious about this."},{"startTime":214.993,"endTime":217.813,"body":"Just being like, no, I'm"},{"startTime":214.993,"endTime":217.813,"body":"having an anxious feeling."},{"startTime":217.813,"endTime":217.873,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":217.873,"endTime":219.493,"body":"So it's not me that's the problem."},{"startTime":219.493,"endTime":222.523,"body":"It's just a feeling, what are the"},{"startTime":219.493,"endTime":222.523,"body":"small things that I can do just"},{"startTime":222.523,"endTime":226.423,"body":"to try and, like you said, like"},{"startTime":222.523,"endTime":226.423,"body":"somatic, just calm my body down."},{"startTime":226.423,"endTime":229.183,"body":"Before I then have to go into a"},{"startTime":226.423,"endTime":229.183,"body":"room where I cannot be humming,"},{"startTime":229.183,"endTime":232.453,"body":"I think you point out something"},{"startTime":229.183,"endTime":232.453,"body":"so important, you acknowledge it."},{"startTime":232.453,"endTime":236.173,"body":"You don't pretend like it's not happening,"},{"startTime":232.453,"endTime":236.173,"body":"and girl, if it makes you feel better."},{"startTime":236.173,"endTime":239.293,"body":"Before I go to an event, especially"},{"startTime":236.173,"endTime":239.293,"body":"in a city where you're gonna be"},{"startTime":239.293,"endTime":242.503,"body":"doing street parking and stuff,"},{"startTime":239.293,"endTime":242.503,"body":"I am notorious for looking up the"},{"startTime":242.503,"endTime":246.463,"body":"location on Google Maps first to"},{"startTime":242.503,"endTime":246.463,"body":"like plot my travel timing and plans."},{"startTime":246.463,"endTime":246.553,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":246.613,"endTime":247.843,"body":"But then I go into Street View."},{"startTime":247.903,"endTime":248.023,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":248.023,"endTime":251.293,"body":"I, I'll pan around the street, street,"},{"startTime":248.023,"endTime":251.293,"body":"I'm like, where is the parking?"},{"startTime":251.293,"endTime":252.193,"body":"Because you know me."},{"startTime":252.193,"endTime":253.693,"body":"I don't like going to parking garages."},{"startTime":253.723,"endTime":256.033,"body":"It is not an anxiety response for me."},{"startTime":256.033,"endTime":257.593,"body":"It is a logistical response."},{"startTime":257.593,"endTime":260.713,"body":"I don't wanna wait for somebody"},{"startTime":257.593,"endTime":260.713,"body":"in front of me who can't find"},{"startTime":260.713,"endTime":261.613,"body":"their ticket and can't get out."},{"startTime":261.613,"endTime":262.993,"body":"'cause that happens all the time."},{"startTime":262.993,"endTime":266.023,"body":"If I can help it, I don't do a parking"},{"startTime":262.993,"endTime":266.023,"body":"garage just 'cause it's easier,"},{"startTime":266.023,"endTime":270.013,"body":"faster in and out on a street spot"},{"startTime":266.023,"endTime":270.013,"body":"and at least here where we live."},{"startTime":270.043,"endTime":270.103,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":270.103,"endTime":273.103,"body":"Parking kitty quits at"},{"startTime":270.103,"endTime":273.103,"body":"like six o'clock or six 30."},{"startTime":273.103,"endTime":273.583,"body":"most of the time."},{"startTime":273.583,"endTime":276.733,"body":"Not, in every district, but most of"},{"startTime":273.583,"endTime":276.733,"body":"the time if we're even paying for"},{"startTime":276.733,"endTime":277.933,"body":"half an hour of parking, I'm like."},{"startTime":277.933,"endTime":279.913,"body":"It would still be more inside the garage."},{"startTime":279.913,"endTime":282.823,"body":"And then I have to deal with"},{"startTime":279.913,"endTime":282.823,"body":"some doofus in front of me who"},{"startTime":282.823,"endTime":284.323,"body":"can't find the party ticket."},{"startTime":284.413,"endTime":287.233,"body":"But look at you, you're doing,"},{"startTime":284.413,"endTime":287.233,"body":"see, now I don't feel bad"},{"startTime":287.263,"endTime":288.973,"body":"'cause I, I stream map it too."},{"startTime":288.973,"endTime":290.323,"body":"And you don't even have anxiety."},{"startTime":290.353,"endTime":290.443,"body":"No."},{"startTime":290.983,"endTime":292.423,"body":"And you park amazing."},{"startTime":292.513,"endTime":296.133,"body":"And I, I park like a, I mean, I"},{"startTime":292.513,"endTime":296.133,"body":"drive like an old lady, but that's."},{"startTime":296.133,"endTime":297.003,"body":"It's for safety."},{"startTime":297.008,"endTime":298.503,"body":"It's, it's for everyone's safety."},{"startTime":298.593,"endTime":302.193,"body":"I remember the first time we went"},{"startTime":298.593,"endTime":302.193,"body":"to, no, not first time, but early on"},{"startTime":302.193,"endTime":305.643,"body":"we were going to events and I picked"},{"startTime":302.193,"endTime":305.643,"body":"you up and you were, I could tell"},{"startTime":305.643,"endTime":306.843,"body":"you were feeling a little anxious."},{"startTime":306.843,"endTime":311.223,"body":"We left a little earlier than I normally"},{"startTime":306.843,"endTime":311.223,"body":"would and I was just kinda like, oh, okay."},{"startTime":311.223,"endTime":312.033,"body":"Yeah, that's fine, that's fine."},{"startTime":312.033,"endTime":313.323,"body":"I could tell like you needed it."},{"startTime":313.323,"endTime":316.683,"body":"And so we left like maybe half an"},{"startTime":313.323,"endTime":316.683,"body":"hour earlier than I normally would've."},{"startTime":316.743,"endTime":318.693,"body":"And you know me, I'm like speed racer."},{"startTime":318.783,"endTime":320.103,"body":"It's like NASCAR in my car."},{"startTime":320.163,"endTime":322.713,"body":"And we get there and you were like, oh"},{"startTime":320.163,"endTime":322.713,"body":"my God, I've never gotten your so fast."},{"startTime":322.713,"endTime":324.423,"body":"It might have been for a"},{"startTime":322.713,"endTime":324.423,"body":"freelancers union thing."},{"startTime":324.453,"endTime":324.603,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":324.633,"endTime":327.158,"body":"'cause you have to go all the way"},{"startTime":324.633,"endTime":327.158,"body":"in and you were like, like, I've"},{"startTime":327.158,"endTime":328.713,"body":"never been here this early before."},{"startTime":328.713,"endTime":331.863,"body":"No, because I pick a lane and"},{"startTime":328.713,"endTime":331.863,"body":"I stay in it and I don't move."},{"startTime":331.863,"endTime":333.483,"body":"Does it matter what's happening?"},{"startTime":333.483,"endTime":337.113,"body":"I might give people anxiety sitting"},{"startTime":333.483,"endTime":337.113,"body":"in the passenger seat of my car, but"},{"startTime":337.113,"endTime":341.193,"body":"yeah, I think like there's obviously"},{"startTime":337.113,"endTime":341.193,"body":"a spectrum to everything and in mental"},{"startTime":341.193,"endTime":342.813,"body":"health there is definitely a spectrum."},{"startTime":342.813,"endTime":346.323,"body":"I think it's important that everyone"},{"startTime":342.813,"endTime":346.323,"body":"listening to the episode remembers"},{"startTime":346.323,"endTime":350.613,"body":"to talk with your own licensed"},{"startTime":346.323,"endTime":350.613,"body":"health professionals and make sure"},{"startTime":350.613,"endTime":351.843,"body":"that you get the support you need."},{"startTime":351.843,"endTime":354.243,"body":"You are not gonna get all the answers"},{"startTime":351.843,"endTime":354.243,"body":"that you need on this episode, but"},{"startTime":354.243,"endTime":358.713,"body":"we do really, really want to support"},{"startTime":354.243,"endTime":358.713,"body":"all of our friends and neighbors and"},{"startTime":358.713,"endTime":364.413,"body":"countrymen who are avoiding some really"},{"startTime":358.713,"endTime":364.413,"body":"great events and connection spaces in"},{"startTime":364.413,"endTime":369.363,"body":"community, which all of us need right"},{"startTime":364.413,"endTime":369.363,"body":"now because anxiety is a real thing and."},{"startTime":369.363,"endTime":372.993,"body":"Getting out of your house and getting"},{"startTime":369.363,"endTime":372.993,"body":"into a room with other live human beings"},{"startTime":372.993,"endTime":374.553,"body":"can be one of the most healing things."},{"startTime":374.553,"endTime":376.683,"body":"But it can also feel like one"},{"startTime":374.553,"endTime":376.683,"body":"of the most crippling things"},{"startTime":376.683,"endTime":377.703,"body":"if you don't have the tools."},{"startTime":377.703,"endTime":379.143,"body":"And Micah gives us quite a few."},{"startTime":379.143,"endTime":379.533,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":379.533,"endTime":381.963,"body":"so without further ado,"},{"startTime":379.533,"endTime":381.963,"body":"Let's meet our guest."},{"startTime":381.963,"endTime":386.553,"body":"Micah Freeman is a licensed professional"},{"startTime":381.963,"endTime":386.553,"body":"counselor, educator and coach who helps"},{"startTime":386.553,"endTime":390.423,"body":"people stop overthinking their way through"},{"startTime":386.553,"endTime":390.423,"body":"relationships and start understanding the"},{"startTime":390.423,"endTime":392.613,"body":"patterns, actually driving their behavior."},{"startTime":392.613,"endTime":396.903,"body":"With 10 years of clinical experience"},{"startTime":392.613,"endTime":396.903,"body":"in 18 years of teaching, he also serves"},{"startTime":396.903,"endTime":400.803,"body":"as adjunct faculty in the counseling"},{"startTime":396.903,"endTime":400.803,"body":"department at Portland State University."},{"startTime":400.803,"endTime":405.723,"body":"He's the founder of Ego Strength Coaching"},{"startTime":400.803,"endTime":405.723,"body":"and host of the Self-Study Lab podcast,"},{"startTime":405.723,"endTime":408.903,"body":"where he teaches a nervous system"},{"startTime":405.723,"endTime":408.903,"body":"informed approach to understanding"},{"startTime":408.903,"endTime":413.943,"body":"behavior, including how often we confuse"},{"startTime":408.903,"endTime":413.943,"body":"stress responses for personality traits."},{"startTime":413.943,"endTime":415.163,"body":"Oh, oh, Micah."},{"startTime":415.663,"endTime":416.593,"body":"Ouch, your bio."},{"startTime":416.593,"endTime":420.283,"body":"We haven't even gotten to the episode"},{"startTime":416.593,"endTime":420.283,"body":"yet, I will tell everybody that you"},{"startTime":420.283,"endTime":423.103,"body":"should definitely go check out the"},{"startTime":420.283,"endTime":423.103,"body":"show notes because Micah has an amazing"},{"startTime":423.103,"endTime":425.113,"body":"handout that will definitely help you."},{"startTime":425.233,"endTime":426.793,"body":"And with that, we'll get into the episode."},{"startTime":427.843,"endTime":430.003,"body":"Micah, thank you so much"},{"startTime":427.843,"endTime":430.003,"body":"for joining us today."},{"startTime":430.003,"endTime":434.083,"body":"We really wanted to have an actual"},{"startTime":430.003,"endTime":434.083,"body":"licensed therapist join us to talk"},{"startTime":434.083,"endTime":437.083,"body":"about mental health to kick off"},{"startTime":434.083,"endTime":437.083,"body":"May being mental health month."},{"startTime":437.113,"endTime":438.493,"body":"So thank you for being here."},{"startTime":438.493,"endTime":441.553,"body":"I am very excited to be here"},{"startTime":438.493,"endTime":441.553,"body":"sitting across from both of you."},{"startTime":441.844,"endTime":445.534,"body":"Your presence is just so calming and"},{"startTime":441.844,"endTime":445.534,"body":"you have such a great framework and"},{"startTime":445.534,"endTime":449.614,"body":"we've had so many off mic discussions"},{"startTime":445.534,"endTime":449.614,"body":"about all of our neurodivergence"},{"startTime":449.614,"endTime":450.904,"body":"and how we navigate the world."},{"startTime":450.914,"endTime":454.544,"body":"We are talking about how networking"},{"startTime":450.914,"endTime":454.544,"body":"isn't about skill, it's about"},{"startTime":454.544,"endTime":456.254,"body":"the state that you're living in."},{"startTime":456.254,"endTime":459.734,"body":"one of the top things that Megan and"},{"startTime":456.254,"endTime":459.734,"body":"I hear regularly from the people who"},{"startTime":459.734,"endTime":462.584,"body":"come to our networking spaces or the"},{"startTime":459.734,"endTime":462.584,"body":"people that we just interact with"},{"startTime":462.584,"endTime":466.544,"body":"because we're networking freaks and"},{"startTime":462.584,"endTime":466.544,"body":"we go to everything is relationship"},{"startTime":466.544,"endTime":470.774,"body":"management and like showing up for"},{"startTime":466.544,"endTime":470.774,"body":"things and just all the usual fears and"},{"startTime":470.774,"endTime":472.394,"body":"anxieties around being seen and heard."},{"startTime":472.394,"endTime":474.884,"body":"And we wanted to know like, how would you."},{"startTime":474.884,"endTime":478.214,"body":"Begin to approach that if you're just"},{"startTime":474.884,"endTime":478.214,"body":"like all up in your fields and you"},{"startTime":478.214,"endTime":480.074,"body":"haven't really sorted out what's going on."},{"startTime":480.074,"endTime":484.694,"body":"I think the first thing to remember"},{"startTime":480.074,"endTime":484.694,"body":"is that we are a very old species,"},{"startTime":484.724,"endTime":489.404,"body":"200 to 300,000 years old, and for"},{"startTime":484.724,"endTime":489.404,"body":"most of that time we were living in"},{"startTime":489.404,"endTime":491.924,"body":"small bands of people of up to 150."},{"startTime":491.924,"endTime":497.564,"body":"if you think of the span of evolution"},{"startTime":491.924,"endTime":497.564,"body":"being the size of a football field,"},{"startTime":497.564,"endTime":499.574,"body":"we're on that last blade of grass."},{"startTime":499.604,"endTime":503.534,"body":"and so we weren't actually designed"},{"startTime":499.604,"endTime":503.534,"body":"to have relationships with thousands"},{"startTime":503.534,"endTime":508.814,"body":"of people and process all of the"},{"startTime":503.534,"endTime":508.814,"body":"inputs and stimulation that we do now."},{"startTime":508.844,"endTime":512.834,"body":"And so it's actually miraculous"},{"startTime":508.844,"endTime":512.834,"body":"that we do as well as we do in"},{"startTime":512.834,"endTime":515.114,"body":"these, modern civilization times."},{"startTime":515.144,"endTime":518.354,"body":"but first of all, just normalizing"},{"startTime":515.144,"endTime":518.354,"body":"that it's not natural to go"},{"startTime":518.354,"endTime":519.854,"body":"meet a group of strangers."},{"startTime":521.039,"endTime":525.059,"body":"You know, for 200,000 years every"},{"startTime":521.039,"endTime":525.059,"body":"face that you had a conversation with"},{"startTime":525.059,"endTime":526.649,"body":"would've been deeply familiar to you."},{"startTime":526.649,"endTime":530.279,"body":"And so we are now living in a"},{"startTime":526.649,"endTime":530.279,"body":"time when you are exposed to"},{"startTime":530.279,"endTime":531.899,"body":"different faces chronically."},{"startTime":531.899,"endTime":537.239,"body":"And we still have the hard wiring that"},{"startTime":531.899,"endTime":537.239,"body":"believes that if we are to be ostracized,"},{"startTime":537.239,"endTime":539.369,"body":"kicked out of the tribe that we will die."},{"startTime":539.369,"endTime":542.489,"body":"So we all still have a"},{"startTime":539.369,"endTime":542.489,"body":"primal fear of exclusion."},{"startTime":542.489,"endTime":545.909,"body":"Because that was a matter of"},{"startTime":542.489,"endTime":545.909,"body":"survival for our entire lineage."},{"startTime":545.909,"endTime":550.259,"body":"And so when we notice ourselves"},{"startTime":545.909,"endTime":550.259,"body":"getting anxious, meeting new people,"},{"startTime":550.259,"endTime":552.419,"body":"that's that primal drive kicking in."},{"startTime":552.419,"endTime":554.609,"body":"And so just normalizing, this is very."},{"startTime":555.429,"endTime":557.769,"body":"Bizarre scenario that"},{"startTime":555.429,"endTime":557.769,"body":"we're all living through."},{"startTime":557.769,"endTime":561.279,"body":"And if you're having anxiety meeting"},{"startTime":557.769,"endTime":561.279,"body":"new people, well you're normal."},{"startTime":561.279,"endTime":564.309,"body":"Well we were talking before the show"},{"startTime":561.279,"endTime":564.309,"body":"and Megan and I have talked about it"},{"startTime":564.309,"endTime":567.969,"body":"on previous episodes, and people who"},{"startTime":564.309,"endTime":567.969,"body":"notice will notice Megan is very open"},{"startTime":567.969,"endTime":571.239,"body":"about the anxieties that she has and"},{"startTime":567.969,"endTime":571.239,"body":"the way that she recovers from it."},{"startTime":571.239,"endTime":574.569,"body":"And I have been actually diagnosed"},{"startTime":571.239,"endTime":574.569,"body":"like, no, you're not anxious or"},{"startTime":574.569,"endTime":576.099,"body":"depressed, clinically speaking."},{"startTime":576.099,"endTime":579.459,"body":"But I get a lot of anxiety sometimes"},{"startTime":576.099,"endTime":579.459,"body":"in new rooms and like, I have my"},{"startTime":579.459,"endTime":583.149,"body":"shy moments and, well, I did a lot"},{"startTime":579.459,"endTime":583.149,"body":"of somatic therapy and that helps."},{"startTime":583.149,"endTime":586.329,"body":"So I've got physical tools that"},{"startTime":583.149,"endTime":586.329,"body":"help me stay grounded in the moment."},{"startTime":586.329,"endTime":588.609,"body":"But I mean, it is a skillset"},{"startTime":586.329,"endTime":588.609,"body":"that you have to build."},{"startTime":588.609,"endTime":589.329,"body":"absolutely."},{"startTime":589.329,"endTime":592.749,"body":"And I think that people often"},{"startTime":589.329,"endTime":592.749,"body":"confuse their personality"},{"startTime":592.749,"endTime":594.879,"body":"for their state behaviors."},{"startTime":594.879,"endTime":595.929,"body":"Oh, that's a hot take."},{"startTime":595.929,"endTime":596.409,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":596.409,"endTime":600.249,"body":"So, for so much of my life I kind of"},{"startTime":596.409,"endTime":600.249,"body":"thought I might be a garbage human"},{"startTime":600.249,"endTime":605.739,"body":"because I was so chronically activated"},{"startTime":600.249,"endTime":605.739,"body":"and my reactivity would be, oftentimes"},{"startTime":605.739,"endTime":607.599,"body":"in the fight realm, or the flight realm."},{"startTime":607.599,"endTime":608.649,"body":"So I would just leave."},{"startTime":608.649,"endTime":612.429,"body":"People or situations or I would"},{"startTime":608.649,"endTime":612.429,"body":"get into, um, conflict with people."},{"startTime":612.429,"endTime":614.145,"body":"I thought that's just my personality."},{"startTime":614.145,"endTime":618.825,"body":"But really what that is, is, a"},{"startTime":614.145,"endTime":618.825,"body":"hardwired, defense response that my"},{"startTime":618.825,"endTime":620.895,"body":"nervous system learned when I was tiny."},{"startTime":620.895,"endTime":625.215,"body":"And so the first thing that we need"},{"startTime":620.895,"endTime":625.215,"body":"to all do is figure out what are our"},{"startTime":625.215,"endTime":628.065,"body":"patterns that we see in our relationships."},{"startTime":628.065,"endTime":631.155,"body":"Rather than, I'm the kind of person"},{"startTime":628.065,"endTime":631.155,"body":"that has this personality and I don't,"},{"startTime":631.155,"endTime":634.035,"body":"I don't do this and I do do that,"},{"startTime":631.155,"endTime":634.035,"body":"but just starting to pay attention."},{"startTime":634.035,"endTime":635.595,"body":"Oh, that's like inner child work."},{"startTime":635.595,"endTime":637.425,"body":"It's absolutely inner child work."},{"startTime":637.425,"endTime":640.035,"body":"So we're all just kindergartners"},{"startTime":637.425,"endTime":640.035,"body":"going out to networking events."},{"startTime":640.155,"endTime":643.725,"body":"We are, I think there's maybe five"},{"startTime":640.155,"endTime":643.725,"body":"adults in the world, and the rest of"},{"startTime":643.725,"endTime":646.593,"body":"us look like adults, but we're not."},{"startTime":646.593,"endTime":647.733,"body":"We're like five to 10."},{"startTime":647.733,"endTime":649.268,"body":"Well, it's similar too,"},{"startTime":647.733,"endTime":649.268,"body":"to what you and I did."},{"startTime":649.63,"endTime":653.11,"body":"When I recognized that you had"},{"startTime":649.63,"endTime":653.11,"body":"the, the freeze response Yes."},{"startTime":653.14,"endTime":658.15,"body":"And stepped in and was saw this"},{"startTime":653.14,"endTime":658.15,"body":"happen, and would you like assistance?"},{"startTime":658.15,"endTime":659.83,"body":"basically just a buffer."},{"startTime":659.83,"endTime":660.1,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":660.1,"endTime":664.982,"body":"Not me protecting you, but"},{"startTime":660.1,"endTime":664.982,"body":"literally just giving time  let"},{"startTime":664.982,"endTime":668.252,"body":"the computer reboot, Well, it's,"},{"startTime":664.982,"endTime":668.252,"body":"it's like the ultimate squad goals."},{"startTime":668.252,"endTime":672.422,"body":"it was our episode to talk about finding a"},{"startTime":668.252,"endTime":672.422,"body":"yes friend and building a yes friendship."},{"startTime":672.422,"endTime":675.752,"body":"And there's a lot of trust that's built"},{"startTime":672.422,"endTime":675.752,"body":"because we've logged a lot of hours"},{"startTime":675.752,"endTime":680.222,"body":"together doing this, Huge credit to Megan"},{"startTime":675.752,"endTime":680.222,"body":"for being the one who noticed right away."},{"startTime":680.222,"endTime":683.762,"body":"And she's like, you, you"},{"startTime":680.222,"endTime":683.762,"body":"have a freeze response."},{"startTime":683.762,"endTime":685.232,"body":"And she's like, how can I help?"},{"startTime":685.232,"endTime":686.912,"body":"And even my response, I froze."},{"startTime":686.912,"endTime":687.472,"body":"I knew you did."},{"startTime":688.497,"endTime":689.637,"body":"And I was like, just wait."},{"startTime":689.637,"endTime":692.847,"body":"And she was like, oh, you just"},{"startTime":689.637,"endTime":692.847,"body":"need me to help you as a friend."},{"startTime":692.847,"endTime":696.177,"body":"I need to help you buy some"},{"startTime":692.847,"endTime":696.177,"body":"time in a moment so that things"},{"startTime":696.177,"endTime":697.617,"body":"like that don't happen again."},{"startTime":697.617,"endTime":700.047,"body":"And I was like, what a great friend."},{"startTime":700.047,"endTime":700.857,"body":"what a wise friend too."},{"startTime":700.857,"endTime":701.607,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":701.974,"endTime":702.844,"body":"because she's right."},{"startTime":702.844,"endTime":704.014,"body":"That's exactly what you need."},{"startTime":704.014,"endTime":708.094,"body":"Because when we go into that reflexive"},{"startTime":704.014,"endTime":708.094,"body":"nervous system state, in order for us"},{"startTime":708.094,"endTime":712.534,"body":"to have any, capacity for agency or"},{"startTime":708.094,"endTime":712.534,"body":"even being in authenticity, we have"},{"startTime":712.534,"endTime":714.754,"body":"to be less dysregulated and that."},{"startTime":714.754,"endTime":718.324,"body":"Takes time and awareness for you to"},{"startTime":714.754,"endTime":718.324,"body":"actually attend to that part of yourself."},{"startTime":718.354,"endTime":721.564,"body":"And so that's so cool that she"},{"startTime":718.354,"endTime":721.564,"body":"observed that and helped you see that."},{"startTime":721.564,"endTime":721.864,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":721.864,"endTime":723.784,"body":"So we were both like, well, what's yours?"},{"startTime":723.784,"endTime":724.504,"body":"What's mine?"},{"startTime":724.654,"endTime":728.084,"body":"And so we like keep an eye on"},{"startTime":724.654,"endTime":728.084,"body":"each other it really helps."},{"startTime":728.084,"endTime":730.904,"body":"I know that it takes time to build"},{"startTime":728.084,"endTime":730.904,"body":"those kinds of relationships."},{"startTime":730.904,"endTime":734.924,"body":"Speaking of nurturing relationships,"},{"startTime":730.904,"endTime":734.924,"body":"and I would say at the beginning"},{"startTime":734.924,"endTime":736.724,"body":"of getting to know each other as."},{"startTime":736.724,"endTime":740.324,"body":"New business contacts, friends,"},{"startTime":736.724,"endTime":740.324,"body":"it takes a while to build that."},{"startTime":740.324,"endTime":742.484,"body":"But I would say like you go"},{"startTime":740.324,"endTime":742.484,"body":"out to your first event and"},{"startTime":742.484,"endTime":743.504,"body":"it's, there's a little anxiety."},{"startTime":743.504,"endTime":746.504,"body":"You're like, I don't know this"},{"startTime":743.504,"endTime":746.504,"body":"person, she's riding in my car."},{"startTime":746.504,"endTime":748.274,"body":"Is it gonna be great"},{"startTime":746.504,"endTime":748.274,"body":"or is it gonna be shit?"},{"startTime":748.274,"endTime":751.424,"body":"It's gonna happen, but if you"},{"startTime":748.274,"endTime":751.424,"body":"don't take a chance, it's kind"},{"startTime":751.424,"endTime":753.254,"body":"of hard to get to the good part."},{"startTime":753.254,"endTime":755.534,"body":"'cause people keep asking us,"},{"startTime":753.254,"endTime":755.534,"body":"how do I find a yes friend?"},{"startTime":755.534,"endTime":758.744,"body":"I think this conversation we're"},{"startTime":755.534,"endTime":758.744,"body":"having, that's rooted in therapy."},{"startTime":758.744,"endTime":764.834,"body":"might have some clues for a lot of people"},{"startTime":758.744,"endTime":764.834,"body":"on how to get over the personal hump so"},{"startTime":764.834,"endTime":767.174,"body":"that you can actually start building that."},{"startTime":767.174,"endTime":767.234,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":767.234,"endTime":769.604,"body":"Well, you're bringing up something"},{"startTime":767.234,"endTime":769.604,"body":"really important, which is the"},{"startTime":769.604,"endTime":773.324,"body":"fact that if we avoid discomfort,"},{"startTime":769.604,"endTime":773.324,"body":"we stay exactly where we are."},{"startTime":773.324,"endTime":777.014,"body":"recognizing this is uncomfortable for me"},{"startTime":773.324,"endTime":777.014,"body":"to drive in this car with this person, I"},{"startTime":777.014,"endTime":781.228,"body":"don't know, but I'm gonna do an experiment"},{"startTime":777.014,"endTime":781.228,"body":"and I'm gonna try it and see how it goes."},{"startTime":781.228,"endTime":786.268,"body":"And for me, 99% of the time, the"},{"startTime":781.228,"endTime":786.268,"body":"catastrophic story my mind makes"},{"startTime":786.268,"endTime":789.088,"body":"up about how shitty something's"},{"startTime":786.268,"endTime":789.088,"body":"gonna be is not accurate."},{"startTime":789.088,"endTime":790.648,"body":"It's usually just fine."},{"startTime":790.648,"endTime":794.308,"body":"And in spite of having done this"},{"startTime":790.648,"endTime":794.308,"body":"experiment so many times over, I"},{"startTime":794.308,"endTime":800.608,"body":"still have to soothe myself and remind"},{"startTime":794.308,"endTime":800.608,"body":"myself that my prediction is 99% off."},{"startTime":800.608,"endTime":802.018,"body":"So just go try this thing."},{"startTime":802.018,"endTime":804.178,"body":"it's in the, realm of, hormetic stressor."},{"startTime":804.178,"endTime":807.328,"body":"we have vilified stress is a"},{"startTime":804.178,"endTime":807.328,"body":"bad thing, but the fact is all"},{"startTime":807.328,"endTime":809.458,"body":"organisms need some kind of stress."},{"startTime":809.458,"endTime":812.188,"body":"And so a hormetic stressor"},{"startTime":809.458,"endTime":812.188,"body":"is a positive stressor."},{"startTime":812.188,"endTime":813.718,"body":"that's within your tolerance."},{"startTime":813.718,"endTime":817.198,"body":"as you push into a little bit"},{"startTime":813.718,"endTime":817.198,"body":"of discomfort, not lack of"},{"startTime":817.198,"endTime":819.778,"body":"safety, but just this is not a,"},{"startTime":817.198,"endTime":819.778,"body":"this is not comfortable for me."},{"startTime":819.778,"endTime":823.018,"body":"You're actually building your capacity"},{"startTime":819.778,"endTime":823.018,"body":"to do that more and more often."},{"startTime":823.018,"endTime":824.698,"body":"And so it's such an important."},{"startTime":824.698,"endTime":830.128,"body":"Point of growth to make a conscious"},{"startTime":824.698,"endTime":830.128,"body":"decision to be uncomfortable and to know"},{"startTime":830.128,"endTime":833.398,"body":"that you're actually growing yourself"},{"startTime":830.128,"endTime":833.398,"body":"through that you're growing your capacity."},{"startTime":833.398,"endTime":834.838,"body":"How does somebody."},{"startTime":834.838,"endTime":839.128,"body":"learn to tell the difference"},{"startTime":834.838,"endTime":839.128,"body":"that this is a good stress?"},{"startTime":839.128,"endTime":843.925,"body":"everything is uncomfortable, but this"},{"startTime":839.128,"endTime":843.925,"body":"one is actually a good stress versus"},{"startTime":843.925,"endTime":845.965,"body":"that one there's lack of safety there."},{"startTime":846.025,"endTime":846.775,"body":"It's not healthy."},{"startTime":846.835,"endTime":847.195,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":847.195,"endTime":848.635,"body":"How do you make that distinction?"},{"startTime":848.635,"endTime":851.065,"body":"Because what I'm thinking is, Megan and"},{"startTime":848.635,"endTime":851.065,"body":"I talk about this all the time because"},{"startTime":851.065,"endTime":852.445,"body":"we're both like, yeah, I'm uncomfortable."},{"startTime":852.445,"endTime":853.375,"body":"I'm gonna do it anyways."},{"startTime":853.405,"endTime":856.525,"body":"And again, my therapist is like,"},{"startTime":853.405,"endTime":856.525,"body":"I wish more people could do."},{"startTime":856.555,"endTime":858.265,"body":"She's like, it's your superpower."},{"startTime":858.265,"endTime":860.695,"body":"You will do whatever"},{"startTime":858.265,"endTime":860.695,"body":"scares the pants off you."},{"startTime":860.725,"endTime":863.695,"body":"And I was like, yeah, because"},{"startTime":860.725,"endTime":863.695,"body":"I don't want it to scare me."},{"startTime":863.695,"endTime":863.995,"body":"Again."},{"startTime":863.995,"endTime":864.865,"body":"That's so wild."},{"startTime":864.865,"endTime":864.97,"body":"I want control wise."},{"startTime":864.975,"endTime":865.765,"body":"That's so incredible."},{"startTime":865.765,"endTime":867.355,"body":"And you are an outlier."},{"startTime":867.355,"endTime":867.745,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":867.745,"endTime":868.105,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":868.105,"endTime":870.685,"body":"The rest of the pieces is she all the"},{"startTime":868.105,"endTime":870.685,"body":"time, like, oh, that's uncomfortable."},{"startTime":870.685,"endTime":871.375,"body":"Not for me."},{"startTime":871.405,"endTime":873.685,"body":"when presented with two"},{"startTime":871.405,"endTime":873.685,"body":"I will do the worst one."},{"startTime":873.715,"endTime":875.485,"body":"but it's a really good question."},{"startTime":875.545,"endTime":877.765,"body":"Well, because I think"},{"startTime":875.545,"endTime":877.765,"body":"you and I formed our Yes."},{"startTime":877.765,"endTime":882.175,"body":"Friendship because we both realized"},{"startTime":877.765,"endTime":882.175,"body":"early on, oh, you operate like I do,"},{"startTime":882.175,"endTime":884.365,"body":"where you're like, I have learned to be."},{"startTime":884.365,"endTime":887.065,"body":"a little more trusting or"},{"startTime":884.365,"endTime":887.065,"body":"comfortable with my discomfort,"},{"startTime":887.065,"endTime":888.205,"body":"so I'm gonna go to that thing."},{"startTime":888.205,"endTime":888.565,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":888.565,"endTime":891.505,"body":"Because a bear and a tiger is not gonna"},{"startTime":888.565,"endTime":891.505,"body":"chase me down at a networking event."},{"startTime":891.505,"endTime":893.125,"body":"do you think you have"},{"startTime":891.505,"endTime":893.125,"body":"to trust yourself first?"},{"startTime":893.125,"endTime":893.365,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":893.365,"endTime":896.755,"body":"I was gonna say there, there are"},{"startTime":893.365,"endTime":896.755,"body":"two different, avenues and one"},{"startTime":896.755,"endTime":900.745,"body":"is that you might be in contact"},{"startTime":896.755,"endTime":900.745,"body":"enough with yourself to be able to."},{"startTime":901.096,"endTime":904.336,"body":"feel that somatically is this"},{"startTime":901.096,"endTime":904.336,"body":"somatically a yes or a no?"},{"startTime":904.379,"endTime":907.949,"body":"But for a lot of people, they haven't"},{"startTime":904.379,"endTime":907.949,"body":"trained that self-awareness yet."},{"startTime":907.949,"endTime":912.629,"body":"And so they don't actually know what"},{"startTime":907.949,"endTime":912.629,"body":"is the right titrated dose of exposure."},{"startTime":912.629,"endTime":916.829,"body":"And so for those people, it's gonna"},{"startTime":912.629,"endTime":916.829,"body":"have to be a series of experiments."},{"startTime":916.829,"endTime":920.579,"body":"And so you're gonna, you're gonna start"},{"startTime":916.829,"endTime":920.579,"body":"with something that doesn't feel overly"},{"startTime":920.579,"endTime":922.979,"body":"exposing or overly uncomfortable."},{"startTime":922.979,"endTime":926.849,"body":"You're gonna have that experience and then"},{"startTime":922.979,"endTime":926.849,"body":"you're gonna, really anchor into that."},{"startTime":926.849,"endTime":929.459,"body":"And that will expand you"},{"startTime":926.849,"endTime":929.459,"body":"to try another experience."},{"startTime":929.459,"endTime":933.539,"body":"But I think for a lot of people, it's"},{"startTime":929.459,"endTime":933.539,"body":"gonna be a process of experimentation."},{"startTime":933.539,"endTime":936.359,"body":"and don't just try to do the hardest"},{"startTime":933.539,"endTime":936.359,"body":"thing you think of, because then"},{"startTime":936.359,"endTime":938.669,"body":"you're gonna confirm for yourself"},{"startTime":936.359,"endTime":938.669,"body":"that you can't do hard things."},{"startTime":938.669,"endTime":938.759,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":939.089,"endTime":940.619,"body":"And so you really wanna titrate it."},{"startTime":940.619,"endTime":941.249,"body":"Tiny exposures."},{"startTime":941.675,"endTime":945.545,"body":"for example, going to a networking"},{"startTime":941.675,"endTime":945.545,"body":"event, and maybe it's so terrifying"},{"startTime":945.545,"endTime":948.755,"body":"for you that the first time that you"},{"startTime":945.545,"endTime":948.755,"body":"go, you just walk through the doors,"},{"startTime":948.755,"endTime":950.765,"body":"make a, make a round, and you leave."},{"startTime":950.765,"endTime":954.065,"body":"that might be your first"},{"startTime":950.765,"endTime":954.065,"body":"experience at a networking event."},{"startTime":954.065,"endTime":954.905,"body":"And that's okay."},{"startTime":954.905,"endTime":956.855,"body":"That's That's an exposure ladder."},{"startTime":956.855,"endTime":957.065,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":957.065,"endTime":958.385,"body":"'cause you got in the car Yeah."},{"startTime":958.385,"endTime":959.105,"body":"Drove all the way there."},{"startTime":959.105,"endTime":959.615,"body":"Exactly."},{"startTime":959.615,"endTime":959.705,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":959.705,"endTime":963.245,"body":"And maybe the next time you make a"},{"startTime":959.705,"endTime":963.245,"body":"deal with yourself that you're gonna"},{"startTime":963.245,"endTime":964.4,"body":"introduce yourself to two people."},{"startTime":964.83,"endTime":967.59,"body":"And so you can incrementally"},{"startTime":964.83,"endTime":967.59,"body":"build your awareness of your"},{"startTime":967.59,"endTime":969.03,"body":"capacity and your capacity."},{"startTime":969.121,"endTime":971.611,"body":"And everybody's at"},{"startTime":969.121,"endTime":971.611,"body":"different levels for sure."},{"startTime":971.671,"endTime":975.301,"body":"In the sense that like I, in my mind"},{"startTime":971.671,"endTime":975.301,"body":"I'm like, we should not shame if"},{"startTime":975.301,"endTime":977.851,"body":"the, if your first one, if that's"},{"startTime":975.301,"endTime":977.851,"body":"all you can do, at least you're"},{"startTime":977.851,"endTime":979.741,"body":"trying and you'll get further."},{"startTime":979.741,"endTime":983.401,"body":"And there's some people who go, the one"},{"startTime":979.741,"endTime":983.401,"body":"we went to that had like 300 people."},{"startTime":983.401,"endTime":985.381,"body":"and they may have looked like"},{"startTime":983.401,"endTime":985.381,"body":"they were having a fun time,"},{"startTime":985.381,"endTime":988.351,"body":"but I think internally they were"},{"startTime":985.381,"endTime":988.351,"body":"probably like crying a little bit."},{"startTime":988.644,"endTime":990.234,"body":"Are you talking about"},{"startTime":988.644,"endTime":990.234,"body":"the one, the big one?"},{"startTime":990.239,"endTime":992.029,"body":"The big one That was like 500 people."},{"startTime":992.029,"endTime":996.319,"body":"It was a, in my mind I have like 700 in my"},{"startTime":992.029,"endTime":996.319,"body":"mind, but that might be an exaggeration."},{"startTime":996.409,"endTime":997.519,"body":"It was a whole ballroom."},{"startTime":997.699,"endTime":1000.549,"body":"but I think even if you like went"},{"startTime":997.699,"endTime":1000.549,"body":"to that, it doesn't mean that that"},{"startTime":1000.549,"endTime":1003.279,"body":"person's comfortable and a lot"},{"startTime":1000.549,"endTime":1003.279,"body":"of times the people who seem the"},{"startTime":1003.279,"endTime":1005.739,"body":"most comfortable and in control."},{"startTime":1005.739,"endTime":1006.969,"body":"are falling apart inside."},{"startTime":1006.999,"endTime":1008.139,"body":"back to the trust thing."},{"startTime":1008.139,"endTime":1011.949,"body":"this is one of the things that is really"},{"startTime":1008.139,"endTime":1011.949,"body":"important too, is that if you force"},{"startTime":1011.949,"endTime":1015.609,"body":"yourself to do something, then you're not"},{"startTime":1011.949,"endTime":1015.609,"body":"going to trust yourself in the future."},{"startTime":1015.609,"endTime":1019.744,"body":"Making a deal with yourself that if you"},{"startTime":1015.609,"endTime":1019.744,"body":"do get too overwhelmed that you, are gonna"},{"startTime":1019.744,"endTime":1022.084,"body":"allow yourself an exit strategy, right?"},{"startTime":1022.084,"endTime":1022.144,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1022.174,"endTime":1023.299,"body":"Because if you are, if you're."},{"startTime":1023.504,"endTime":1026.354,"body":"If you are demonstrating to yourself"},{"startTime":1023.504,"endTime":1026.354,"body":"that you're gonna put yourself in"},{"startTime":1026.354,"endTime":1029.354,"body":"really difficult situations and"},{"startTime":1026.354,"endTime":1029.354,"body":"you're not gonna have any kind of"},{"startTime":1029.354,"endTime":1034.184,"body":"relief or release, Then you are,"},{"startTime":1029.354,"endTime":1034.184,"body":"perpetuating that lack of self-trust."},{"startTime":1034.184,"endTime":1039.734,"body":"So I do mountain biking, and they have a"},{"startTime":1034.184,"endTime":1039.734,"body":"green, yellow, red system for new people."},{"startTime":1039.734,"endTime":1041.594,"body":"And that is, we will"},{"startTime":1039.734,"endTime":1041.594,"body":"show you how to do this."},{"startTime":1041.594,"endTime":1043.664,"body":"Green is yes let's go."},{"startTime":1043.664,"endTime":1046.484,"body":"I'm gonna try that jump, I'm"},{"startTime":1043.664,"endTime":1046.484,"body":"gonna try to like, do the berm."},{"startTime":1046.484,"endTime":1048.524,"body":"Yellow is, I'm scared."},{"startTime":1048.524,"endTime":1051.284,"body":"Or they also say like, being"},{"startTime":1048.524,"endTime":1051.284,"body":"anxious is the same as being"},{"startTime":1051.284,"endTime":1053.174,"body":"excited, like at a certain level."},{"startTime":1053.174,"endTime":1055.334,"body":"I'm nervous, but I wanna try it."},{"startTime":1055.334,"endTime":1057.104,"body":"And red is not today."},{"startTime":1057.104,"endTime":1059.864,"body":"And there is no shame and you"},{"startTime":1057.104,"endTime":1059.864,"body":"just walk over that thing."},{"startTime":1059.864,"endTime":1060.284,"body":"That's beautiful."},{"startTime":1060.284,"endTime":1061.964,"body":"That's actually, trauma informed."},{"startTime":1061.964,"endTime":1062.234,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1062.324,"endTime":1064.424,"body":"That's exactly what"},{"startTime":1062.324,"endTime":1064.424,"body":"being trauma informed is."},{"startTime":1064.424,"endTime":1067.754,"body":"I just came back from a week"},{"startTime":1064.424,"endTime":1067.754,"body":"long childhood liberation retreat"},{"startTime":1067.754,"endTime":1071.564,"body":"and, every exercise you got to"},{"startTime":1067.754,"endTime":1071.564,"body":"determine a one, two, or three."},{"startTime":1071.564,"endTime":1073.244,"body":"One, I'm just observing on this one."},{"startTime":1073.274,"endTime":1074.414,"body":"Two, I'm not sure."},{"startTime":1074.414,"endTime":1075.344,"body":"I'm gonna try a little bit."},{"startTime":1075.344,"endTime":1076.604,"body":"Three, I'm all in."},{"startTime":1076.604,"endTime":1078.074,"body":"And that's, that's, so, that's awesome."},{"startTime":1078.074,"endTime":1079.064,"body":"So I think you can do that with."},{"startTime":1079.064,"endTime":1080.024,"body":"Do that with yourself."},{"startTime":1080.054,"endTime":1080.384,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1080.384,"endTime":1080.984,"body":"For everything."},{"startTime":1080.984,"endTime":1084.344,"body":"How cool would it be if more of"},{"startTime":1080.984,"endTime":1084.344,"body":"our networking experiences in"},{"startTime":1084.344,"endTime":1087.944,"body":"business incorporated this though,"},{"startTime":1084.344,"endTime":1087.944,"body":"we have, we have toyed with so"},{"startTime":1087.944,"endTime":1089.444,"body":"many ideas on the microphone now."},{"startTime":1089.444,"endTime":1091.364,"body":"This season we're like,"},{"startTime":1089.444,"endTime":1091.364,"body":"you know, if people could."},{"startTime":1091.364,"endTime":1092.594,"body":"Figure out how to self identify."},{"startTime":1092.624,"endTime":1095.444,"body":"'cause we will have pronoun stickers"},{"startTime":1092.624,"endTime":1095.444,"body":"and you pick your pronoun stickers and"},{"startTime":1095.444,"endTime":1096.794,"body":"it's like, stick it on your name tag."},{"startTime":1096.794,"endTime":1100.004,"body":"there could be so many different stickers,"},{"startTime":1096.794,"endTime":1100.004,"body":"like different colors, like red, yellow,"},{"startTime":1100.094,"endTime":1103.574,"body":"green, you know, it kind of like right"},{"startTime":1100.094,"endTime":1103.574,"body":"when COVID was breaking out or coming"},{"startTime":1103.574,"endTime":1106.824,"body":"out of COVID and people were able to"},{"startTime":1103.574,"endTime":1106.824,"body":"put sticker like, please don't hug me."},{"startTime":1106.824,"endTime":1106.939,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1106.939,"endTime":1109.639,"body":"because some people don't understand"},{"startTime":1106.939,"endTime":1109.639,"body":"physical boundaries anyways."},{"startTime":1109.639,"endTime":1111.199,"body":"And so they're like, let's all have a hug."},{"startTime":1111.199,"endTime":1115.039,"body":"And people were like, I don't want to,"},{"startTime":1111.199,"endTime":1115.039,"body":"and I'm wondering like, do we need this?"},{"startTime":1115.363,"endTime":1121.393,"body":"In our events for all of our organizers or"},{"startTime":1115.363,"endTime":1121.393,"body":"people who come with their like permanent"},{"startTime":1121.393,"endTime":1124.603,"body":"prepared name tags, oh, if somebody has"},{"startTime":1121.393,"endTime":1124.603,"body":"a pin that I've seen, there's this ad I"},{"startTime":1124.603,"endTime":1127.033,"body":"keep getting fed on Instagram, which just"},{"startTime":1124.603,"endTime":1127.033,"body":"tells you something about me and it tells"},{"startTime":1127.033,"endTime":1130.123,"body":"you your people in level and you can just"},{"startTime":1127.033,"endTime":1130.123,"body":"like flip the switch from like red is"},{"startTime":1130.123,"endTime":1132.308,"body":"like I cannot deal with people no more."},{"startTime":1132.398,"endTime":1135.193,"body":"Green is like, I'll talk to"},{"startTime":1132.398,"endTime":1135.193,"body":"anybody like, where are you today?"},{"startTime":1135.193,"endTime":1136.513,"body":"That is so brilliant."},{"startTime":1136.573,"endTime":1138.133,"body":"One of the things we practiced in that."},{"startTime":1138.133,"endTime":1140.803,"body":"retreat was, connecting with"},{"startTime":1138.133,"endTime":1140.803,"body":"somebody by saying hello."},{"startTime":1140.803,"endTime":1143.653,"body":"And then when you, and then just"},{"startTime":1140.803,"endTime":1143.653,"body":"saying goodbye, whenever it felt"},{"startTime":1143.653,"endTime":1144.823,"body":"like you wanted to say goodbye."},{"startTime":1144.823,"endTime":1147.943,"body":"And so there was just, we just normalized,"},{"startTime":1144.823,"endTime":1147.943,"body":"like you might be in the middle of the"},{"startTime":1147.943,"endTime":1150.943,"body":"conversation, but if you notice that"},{"startTime":1147.943,"endTime":1150.943,"body":"you're not feeling it anymore, you have"},{"startTime":1150.943,"endTime":1152.143,"body":"permission to just be like, goodbye."},{"startTime":1152.143,"endTime":1156.763,"body":"I told Mary, I finally gave"},{"startTime":1152.143,"endTime":1156.763,"body":"myself the agency to say, I'm not"},{"startTime":1156.763,"endTime":1158.173,"body":"getting what I need out of this."},{"startTime":1158.173,"endTime":1162.493,"body":"And so I don't need to give my time when"},{"startTime":1158.173,"endTime":1162.493,"body":"it's either not being respected or it's"},{"startTime":1162.493,"endTime":1165.853,"body":"just like I'm not getting an ROI and"},{"startTime":1162.493,"endTime":1165.853,"body":"I've not paid to be here or whatnot."},{"startTime":1165.853,"endTime":1169.213,"body":"instead of trying to people please, I"},{"startTime":1165.853,"endTime":1169.213,"body":"will just pretend that somebody's at"},{"startTime":1169.213,"endTime":1171.043,"body":"my door and I will just leave the call."},{"startTime":1171.043,"endTime":1173.563,"body":"And I told you that and"},{"startTime":1171.043,"endTime":1173.563,"body":"you were like so offended."},{"startTime":1173.704,"endTime":1174.544,"body":"I was like, you."},{"startTime":1174.867,"endTime":1175.647,"body":"Left."},{"startTime":1175.647,"endTime":1177.897,"body":"So I mean, I think actually"},{"startTime":1175.647,"endTime":1177.897,"body":"that's healthy boundaries."},{"startTime":1177.927,"endTime":1178.497,"body":"I think amazing."},{"startTime":1178.497,"endTime":1182.607,"body":"The more that we can get in contact with"},{"startTime":1178.497,"endTime":1182.607,"body":"what's true for us, it might be that,"},{"startTime":1182.607,"endTime":1185.907,"body":"people are gonna be disappointed, but"},{"startTime":1182.607,"endTime":1185.907,"body":"that's just the nature of relationships."},{"startTime":1185.907,"endTime":1188.697,"body":"If you know, it's not my responsibility,"},{"startTime":1185.907,"endTime":1188.697,"body":"it's not your responsibility."},{"startTime":1188.697,"endTime":1192.207,"body":"And if you know anybody for any amount"},{"startTime":1188.697,"endTime":1192.207,"body":"of time, they're going to disappoint you."},{"startTime":1192.207,"endTime":1193.947,"body":"Like let's just normalize that as well."},{"startTime":1193.977,"endTime":1196.827,"body":"if somebody hasn't disappointed you"},{"startTime":1193.977,"endTime":1196.827,"body":"yet, you just don't know them well."},{"startTime":1196.827,"endTime":1199.827,"body":"I'm having this aha moment"},{"startTime":1196.827,"endTime":1199.827,"body":"where I'm thinking people"},{"startTime":1199.827,"endTime":1202.527,"body":"like me who suffer way less."},{"startTime":1202.978,"endTime":1206.038,"body":"Anxiety and depression on any daily basis."},{"startTime":1206.038,"endTime":1208.528,"body":"I know we're the weirdos, honestly."},{"startTime":1208.558,"endTime":1208.858,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1208.948,"endTime":1210.836,"body":"And confirmed like, Lucky you."},{"startTime":1211.646,"endTime":1212.846,"body":"I have my anxious moments."},{"startTime":1212.846,"endTime":1215.726,"body":"I have my depressed days,"},{"startTime":1212.846,"endTime":1215.726,"body":"but like it doesn't Yeah."},{"startTime":1215.786,"endTime":1220.196,"body":"Doesn't take over, you know, daily"},{"startTime":1215.786,"endTime":1220.196,"body":"functioning for me And when I go to"},{"startTime":1220.196,"endTime":1222.596,"body":"events, I am a self-diagnosed introvert."},{"startTime":1222.596,"endTime":1224.576,"body":"Like I will just poop out on people time."},{"startTime":1224.576,"endTime":1228.986,"body":"But I feel like, because I have done"},{"startTime":1224.576,"endTime":1228.986,"body":"enough, I do notice that being a"},{"startTime":1228.986,"endTime":1233.156,"body":"generous networker, I can see when"},{"startTime":1228.986,"endTime":1233.156,"body":"somebody is feeling a little less"},{"startTime":1233.156,"endTime":1236.179,"body":"confident or they're kind of hugging"},{"startTime":1233.156,"endTime":1236.179,"body":"the wall they can't figure out how do"},{"startTime":1236.179,"endTime":1237.739,"body":"they get incorporated into discussion."},{"startTime":1237.739,"endTime":1238.189,"body":"And I always."},{"startTime":1238.378,"endTime":1241.108,"body":"Do my best to be generous and"},{"startTime":1238.378,"endTime":1241.108,"body":"welcome them and like, come here."},{"startTime":1241.108,"endTime":1241.798,"body":"Like come in."},{"startTime":1241.798,"endTime":1241.858,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1241.888,"endTime":1243.178,"body":"Like who are you?"},{"startTime":1243.178,"endTime":1245.788,"body":"And I think if more of us were"},{"startTime":1243.178,"endTime":1245.788,"body":"able to do that on days where"},{"startTime":1245.788,"endTime":1249.298,"body":"we're feeling stronger, I think our"},{"startTime":1245.788,"endTime":1249.298,"body":"communities would be stronger too."},{"startTime":1249.298,"endTime":1255.028,"body":"if you are aware enough that you're having"},{"startTime":1249.298,"endTime":1255.028,"body":"a really good day and you have capacity"},{"startTime":1255.028,"endTime":1258.688,"body":"to be generous for somebody else where"},{"startTime":1255.028,"endTime":1258.688,"body":"they might, this might be their first."},{"startTime":1258.688,"endTime":1263.338,"body":"Drop by networking thing and they're,"},{"startTime":1258.688,"endTime":1263.338,"body":"you know, testing their healthy"},{"startTime":1263.338,"endTime":1267.388,"body":"discomfort, but to have one person show"},{"startTime":1263.338,"endTime":1267.388,"body":"them that helps build those skills and"},{"startTime":1267.388,"endTime":1268.858,"body":"good people know other good people."},{"startTime":1268.858,"endTime":1271.708,"body":"So having those people in the"},{"startTime":1268.858,"endTime":1271.708,"body":"community is better than not."},{"startTime":1271.708,"endTime":1272.368,"body":"Absolutely."},{"startTime":1272.368,"endTime":1276.088,"body":"And I think you're actually, pointing"},{"startTime":1272.368,"endTime":1276.088,"body":"to the thing that will heal the world,"},{"startTime":1276.088,"endTime":1280.143,"body":"which is the more that we attend to"},{"startTime":1276.088,"endTime":1280.143,"body":"ourselves and heal our our own struggles,"},{"startTime":1280.143,"endTime":1283.353,"body":"the more that we can show up with a"},{"startTime":1280.143,"endTime":1283.353,"body":"greater capacity to engage with others."},{"startTime":1283.353,"endTime":1285.603,"body":"everybody's trying to fix"},{"startTime":1283.353,"endTime":1285.603,"body":"everything externally."},{"startTime":1285.603,"endTime":1289.323,"body":"And really the place to start is by"},{"startTime":1285.603,"endTime":1289.323,"body":"doing your own work so that you can be"},{"startTime":1289.323,"endTime":1290.913,"body":"that person that you just described."},{"startTime":1290.913,"endTime":1294.693,"body":"Well, I may not be good at Irish"},{"startTime":1290.913,"endTime":1294.693,"body":"exiting out of zoom rooms, but"},{"startTime":1294.693,"endTime":1296.313,"body":"I have gotten so much better."},{"startTime":1296.433,"endTime":1299.013,"body":"But see, that even was, that took courage."},{"startTime":1299.073,"endTime":1299.973,"body":"That takes so much courage."},{"startTime":1299.973,"endTime":1302.793,"body":"So that, that was like, you"},{"startTime":1299.973,"endTime":1302.793,"body":"know, green, yellow, red, and"},{"startTime":1302.793,"endTime":1303.843,"body":"I was like, we're trying it."},{"startTime":1304.143,"endTime":1306.603,"body":"So much courage though, like holy crap."},{"startTime":1306.603,"endTime":1309.663,"body":"But then you realize as soon as you're"},{"startTime":1306.603,"endTime":1309.663,"body":"out, you're like, what are they gonna do?"},{"startTime":1309.663,"endTime":1310.323,"body":"Come, nothing happens."},{"startTime":1310.323,"endTime":1311.208,"body":"The world didn't end."},{"startTime":1311.208,"endTime":1311.408,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1311.408,"endTime":1314.528,"body":"I have been a lot better and"},{"startTime":1311.408,"endTime":1314.528,"body":"we're also scaling back on how"},{"startTime":1314.528,"endTime":1316.268,"body":"much we go out and do events."},{"startTime":1316.268,"endTime":1320.018,"body":"But if I'm tired now, I'm like,"},{"startTime":1316.268,"endTime":1320.018,"body":"no, I'm not missing anything."},{"startTime":1320.018,"endTime":1321.818,"body":"Like this is not a good"},{"startTime":1320.018,"endTime":1321.818,"body":"day for networking."},{"startTime":1321.818,"endTime":1321.908,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1321.968,"endTime":1326.198,"body":"Like I'm just gonna make sure I"},{"startTime":1321.968,"endTime":1326.198,"body":"self care and sometimes what I"},{"startTime":1326.198,"endTime":1328.538,"body":"need is to like not talk to people."},{"startTime":1328.538,"endTime":1333.098,"body":"Eat a good home cooked meal with"},{"startTime":1328.538,"endTime":1333.098,"body":"vegetables in it and like, hydrate."},{"startTime":1333.098,"endTime":1337.508,"body":"and so that has been good, too, to like be"},{"startTime":1333.098,"endTime":1337.508,"body":"able to make that differentiation instead"},{"startTime":1337.508,"endTime":1339.248,"body":"of trying to force things to happen."},{"startTime":1339.398,"endTime":1342.428,"body":"But I know that that can be hard 'cause"},{"startTime":1339.398,"endTime":1342.428,"body":"all of us are business owners and the"},{"startTime":1342.428,"endTime":1346.478,"body":"world is kind of a dumpster fire and"},{"startTime":1342.428,"endTime":1346.478,"body":"the economy is a little upside down."},{"startTime":1346.478,"endTime":1349.358,"body":"And so you do you feel like, oh, if I"},{"startTime":1346.478,"endTime":1349.358,"body":"don't go out, am I missing something?"},{"startTime":1349.358,"endTime":1350.498,"body":"The FOMO is real."},{"startTime":1350.498,"endTime":1353.918,"body":"So I'm wondering anxiety, and then"},{"startTime":1350.498,"endTime":1353.918,"body":"that's, that's a bit of anxiety."},{"startTime":1353.918,"endTime":1353.973,"body":"That's anxiety."},{"startTime":1353.973,"endTime":1354.293,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1354.398,"endTime":1359.408,"body":"And I'm wondering, Micah, if you can"},{"startTime":1354.398,"endTime":1359.408,"body":"address like the FOMO feelings that"},{"startTime":1359.408,"endTime":1363.098,"body":"people get and how do you deal with"},{"startTime":1359.408,"endTime":1363.098,"body":"that and still be a business owner?"},{"startTime":1363.128,"endTime":1365.978,"body":"Because businesses, people like, I mean,"},{"startTime":1363.128,"endTime":1365.978,"body":"you do have to eventually talk to people."},{"startTime":1365.978,"endTime":1368.768,"body":"Well, I do think it comes back"},{"startTime":1365.978,"endTime":1368.768,"body":"to a capacity issue again."},{"startTime":1368.768,"endTime":1372.548,"body":"And so actually even in what you two are"},{"startTime":1368.768,"endTime":1372.548,"body":"just describing how you can't imagine,"},{"startTime":1372.548,"endTime":1374.498,"body":"just Irish goodbye, a Zoom meeting."},{"startTime":1374.498,"endTime":1377.173,"body":"it's apples and oranges because your"},{"startTime":1374.498,"endTime":1377.173,"body":"operating systems are different."},{"startTime":1377.574,"endTime":1380.964,"body":"you really have to figure out"},{"startTime":1377.574,"endTime":1380.964,"body":"what's your capacity and what is"},{"startTime":1380.964,"endTime":1384.054,"body":"your strategy for your capacity,"},{"startTime":1380.964,"endTime":1384.054,"body":"and it's gonna be different."},{"startTime":1384.084,"endTime":1385.494,"body":"We're all working on different things."},{"startTime":1385.494,"endTime":1388.974,"body":"And so that's one of the reasons I"},{"startTime":1385.494,"endTime":1388.974,"body":"don't like the the Instagram mental"},{"startTime":1388.974,"endTime":1392.244,"body":"health hype, because it's also"},{"startTime":1388.974,"endTime":1392.244,"body":"reductive and it's like, here's the"},{"startTime":1392.244,"endTime":1393.624,"body":"tool that will solve your problem."},{"startTime":1393.624,"endTime":1397.584,"body":"And it's like we actually all have to"},{"startTime":1393.624,"endTime":1397.584,"body":"figure out what our capacity is, what our"},{"startTime":1397.584,"endTime":1400.944,"body":"strategies, what our chosen strategies are"},{"startTime":1397.584,"endTime":1400.944,"body":"gonna be, and they're gonna be different."},{"startTime":1400.944,"endTime":1402.804,"body":"People tend to be on a spectrum."},{"startTime":1402.804,"endTime":1405.984,"body":"usually there's two polarities and, and"},{"startTime":1402.804,"endTime":1405.984,"body":"we wanna be somewhere in the center."},{"startTime":1405.984,"endTime":1411.444,"body":"And so if you're on the end, the edge"},{"startTime":1405.984,"endTime":1411.444,"body":"where you generally, peace out right away."},{"startTime":1411.444,"endTime":1414.114,"body":"Then your work is gonna be"},{"startTime":1411.444,"endTime":1414.114,"body":"to stay a little longer."},{"startTime":1414.114,"endTime":1418.554,"body":"If you're a person who stays way past"},{"startTime":1414.114,"endTime":1418.554,"body":"their capacity because they're so worried"},{"startTime":1418.554,"endTime":1421.704,"body":"about what other people are gonna think"},{"startTime":1418.554,"endTime":1421.704,"body":"of them, they're worried about approval,"},{"startTime":1421.704,"endTime":1425.724,"body":"then you're gonna need to swing over"},{"startTime":1421.704,"endTime":1425.724,"body":"to actually saying no and leaving."},{"startTime":1425.724,"endTime":1429.234,"body":"in order to do any of this work,"},{"startTime":1425.724,"endTime":1429.234,"body":"we have to figure out ourselves."},{"startTime":1429.234,"endTime":1432.624,"body":"that's what I had to do because I"},{"startTime":1429.234,"endTime":1432.624,"body":"realized I wasn't valuing myself enough,"},{"startTime":1432.624,"endTime":1435.294,"body":"and so conversations would go long."},{"startTime":1435.294,"endTime":1438.414,"body":"And in your head you're like, I'm"},{"startTime":1435.294,"endTime":1438.414,"body":"getting nothing out of this, and this"},{"startTime":1438.414,"endTime":1442.014,"body":"person is just taking, taking like"},{"startTime":1438.414,"endTime":1442.014,"body":"just, they're just dumping on me."},{"startTime":1442.014,"endTime":1442.074,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1442.224,"endTime":1443.464,"body":"And you're like, I"},{"startTime":1442.224,"endTime":1443.464,"body":"don't need to stay here."},{"startTime":1443.717,"endTime":1445.667,"body":"I can make up an excuse if I want to."},{"startTime":1445.667,"endTime":1449.207,"body":"I'd love to just be able to say goodbye"},{"startTime":1445.667,"endTime":1449.207,"body":"just in no context, just like goodbye."},{"startTime":1449.207,"endTime":1452.777,"body":"But it is kind of like, yeah, I was way"},{"startTime":1449.207,"endTime":1452.777,"body":"too far in the people blazing and had to"},{"startTime":1452.777,"endTime":1456.827,"body":"be like, but I deserve to get something"},{"startTime":1452.777,"endTime":1456.827,"body":"out of this and I deserve the respect."},{"startTime":1456.857,"endTime":1457.277,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1457.277,"endTime":1460.967,"body":"You know, to, be like, this conversation"},{"startTime":1457.277,"endTime":1460.967,"body":"isn't serving me and it's not serving you."},{"startTime":1460.967,"endTime":1461.717,"body":"Let's be honest."},{"startTime":1462.011,"endTime":1463.241,"body":"I'm gonna go find somebody else."},{"startTime":1463.241,"endTime":1465.071,"body":"I mean, that is just so powerful."},{"startTime":1465.071,"endTime":1466.121,"body":"But we're not trained to do that."},{"startTime":1466.121,"endTime":1470.201,"body":"We're trained to just sit and wait or I"},{"startTime":1466.121,"endTime":1470.201,"body":"am until They get to decide and that's one"},{"startTime":1470.201,"endTime":1474.701,"body":"of the reasons we don't trust ourselves"},{"startTime":1470.201,"endTime":1474.701,"body":"is because we are, reflexing into fawning"},{"startTime":1474.701,"endTime":1479.411,"body":"responses where we are prioritizing"},{"startTime":1474.701,"endTime":1479.411,"body":"somebody else's comfort or our perceived."},{"startTime":1480.066,"endTime":1481.656,"body":"Idea of what their comfort is."},{"startTime":1481.656,"endTime":1481.746,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1481.776,"endTime":1485.586,"body":"I mean, it might be that both people"},{"startTime":1481.776,"endTime":1485.586,"body":"are like, oh my God, this is awful."},{"startTime":1485.586,"endTime":1485.676,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1486.096,"endTime":1487.836,"body":"And they're like waiting"},{"startTime":1486.096,"endTime":1487.836,"body":"for the other person."},{"startTime":1487.836,"endTime":1488.196,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1488.196,"endTime":1492.486,"body":"But I think so many of us, especially"},{"startTime":1488.196,"endTime":1492.486,"body":"those of us who were socialized"},{"startTime":1492.486,"endTime":1496.506,"body":"female, have this tendency to which"},{"startTime":1492.486,"endTime":1496.506,"body":"I was, I'm a trans man, have this"},{"startTime":1496.506,"endTime":1499.776,"body":"tendency to put the care and concern."},{"startTime":1499.776,"endTime":1501.816,"body":"On the other person at our own expense."},{"startTime":1501.816,"endTime":1506.316,"body":"And so for so many of us, it's about"},{"startTime":1501.816,"endTime":1506.316,"body":"recognizing that anytime that you are"},{"startTime":1506.316,"endTime":1510.456,"body":"going past your capacity and taking"},{"startTime":1506.316,"endTime":1510.456,"body":"care of somebody else's needs or the"},{"startTime":1510.456,"endTime":1513.966,"body":"things that you perceive they need,"},{"startTime":1510.456,"endTime":1513.966,"body":"you are fawning, you are reflecting"},{"startTime":1513.966,"endTime":1515.916,"body":"into a nervous system state of fawn."},{"startTime":1515.916,"endTime":1517.656,"body":"This further proves my point."},{"startTime":1517.656,"endTime":1519.156,"body":"I'm gonna die on this hill this year."},{"startTime":1519.306,"endTime":1523.181,"body":"If we all just operated more like mediocre"},{"startTime":1519.306,"endTime":1523.181,"body":"white men, the world would be fine."},{"startTime":1524.397,"endTime":1526.917,"body":"Because they would be like, well,"},{"startTime":1524.397,"endTime":1526.917,"body":"this has been great, but I need to go"},{"startTime":1526.917,"endTime":1528.597,"body":"somewhere else to make more business due."},{"startTime":1528.597,"endTime":1532.167,"body":"But they do do that, And I've had"},{"startTime":1528.597,"endTime":1532.167,"body":"having more meetings with more men in"},{"startTime":1532.167,"endTime":1535.497,"body":"the last year, almost two years now."},{"startTime":1535.497,"endTime":1539.727,"body":"I used to service mostly women"},{"startTime":1535.497,"endTime":1539.727,"body":"in my, in my coaching practice."},{"startTime":1539.727,"endTime":1543.567,"body":"And then because I've shifted over into"},{"startTime":1539.727,"endTime":1543.567,"body":"media, it's a much more mixed crowd now."},{"startTime":1543.567,"endTime":1546.357,"body":"And the men will stay on time."},{"startTime":1546.521,"endTime":1548.411,"body":"Get to the end of the meeting"},{"startTime":1546.521,"endTime":1548.411,"body":"and they're just done."},{"startTime":1548.411,"endTime":1551.201,"body":"I've been taking notes out of their"},{"startTime":1548.411,"endTime":1551.201,"body":"books while I've been meeting with them."},{"startTime":1551.201,"endTime":1555.191,"body":"I'm like, oh, that was very effective"},{"startTime":1551.201,"endTime":1555.191,"body":"I find that with, women and I fall"},{"startTime":1555.191,"endTime":1558.881,"body":"back into this trap constantly oh,"},{"startTime":1555.191,"endTime":1558.881,"body":"let me nurture you and oh, let me"},{"startTime":1558.881,"endTime":1560.441,"body":"give you so much more than you need."},{"startTime":1560.441,"endTime":1562.659,"body":"We'll, I have to really"},{"startTime":1560.441,"endTime":1562.659,"body":"explain why it's a no."},{"startTime":1562.659,"endTime":1564.909,"body":"I have to like really justify everything."},{"startTime":1564.909,"endTime":1568.419,"body":"Justify instead of just saying, no, So I"},{"startTime":1564.909,"endTime":1568.419,"body":"think what you're saying is we actually."},{"startTime":1568.674,"endTime":1571.284,"body":"I agree with is that we actually"},{"startTime":1568.674,"endTime":1571.284,"body":"do need to be more like those"},{"startTime":1571.284,"endTime":1574.432,"body":"men, some of us, and those men"},{"startTime":1571.284,"endTime":1574.432,"body":"need to be a little more pathetic."},{"startTime":1574.452,"endTime":1575.676,"body":"Like everybody empathetic and, yeah."},{"startTime":1575.676,"endTime":1578.316,"body":"it's the polarity spectrum where you"},{"startTime":1575.676,"endTime":1578.316,"body":"figure out where you are and then"},{"startTime":1578.316,"endTime":1579.756,"body":"you like veer toward the center."},{"startTime":1579.756,"endTime":1583.476,"body":"The thing that keeps coming up in"},{"startTime":1579.756,"endTime":1583.476,"body":"my brain as we're talking is there"},{"startTime":1583.476,"endTime":1585.876,"body":"are clearly therapy things that."},{"startTime":1585.876,"endTime":1587.106,"body":"Impact your business."},{"startTime":1587.106,"endTime":1589.926,"body":"And then there are business things"},{"startTime":1587.106,"endTime":1589.926,"body":"that will bring up therapy things"},{"startTime":1589.926,"endTime":1594.096,"body":"and like at what point does somebody"},{"startTime":1589.926,"endTime":1594.096,"body":"who's in their business journey, and"},{"startTime":1594.096,"endTime":1596.976,"body":"we're just going through the lens of"},{"startTime":1594.096,"endTime":1596.976,"body":"networking here in this moment, at"},{"startTime":1596.976,"endTime":1598.506,"body":"what point do they realize oh crap."},{"startTime":1598.506,"endTime":1600.396,"body":"Like I keep trying to force"},{"startTime":1598.506,"endTime":1600.396,"body":"myself to do something."},{"startTime":1600.396,"endTime":1603.39,"body":"This might be actually be like a"},{"startTime":1600.396,"endTime":1603.39,"body":"need for a. Therapist and a some"},{"startTime":1603.39,"endTime":1608.16,"body":"therapeutic, resources rather than just"},{"startTime":1603.39,"endTime":1608.16,"body":"trying to solve it through a business"},{"startTime":1608.16,"endTime":1609.81,"body":"window with like a business coach."},{"startTime":1609.81,"endTime":1613.05,"body":"it's not an offer problem, it's"},{"startTime":1609.81,"endTime":1613.05,"body":"not a relationship management."},{"startTime":1613.05,"endTime":1616.32,"body":"I mean, relationship management could be"},{"startTime":1613.05,"endTime":1616.32,"body":"part of the therapy, but it's not like,"},{"startTime":1616.32,"endTime":1621.81,"body":"oh, I have a leads problem, or I have a"},{"startTime":1616.32,"endTime":1621.81,"body":"clarity problem, or I have a positioning"},{"startTime":1621.81,"endTime":1625.08,"body":"problem, or I've priced my offer wrong,"},{"startTime":1621.81,"endTime":1625.08,"body":"or I'm going to the wrong groups."},{"startTime":1625.08,"endTime":1625.8,"body":"It's really."},{"startTime":1625.8,"endTime":1627.96,"body":"More of like, I need to work on myself."},{"startTime":1627.99,"endTime":1629.4,"body":"do you have any words of wisdom, Micah?"},{"startTime":1629.4,"endTime":1633.48,"body":"Well, I'm wondering if you have, an"},{"startTime":1629.4,"endTime":1633.48,"body":"example of what you mean, because"},{"startTime":1633.48,"endTime":1635.94,"body":"Mary asked this question every,"},{"startTime":1633.48,"endTime":1635.94,"body":"because everybody who comes to"},{"startTime":1635.94,"endTime":1639.63,"body":"you, you're like, is it a business"},{"startTime":1635.94,"endTime":1639.63,"body":"problem or is it a therapy problem?"},{"startTime":1639.66,"endTime":1642.06,"body":"And I'm saying nine times"},{"startTime":1639.66,"endTime":1642.06,"body":"outta 10 is a therapy problem."},{"startTime":1642.06,"endTime":1644.13,"body":"so in my coaching practice,"},{"startTime":1642.06,"endTime":1644.13,"body":"I stopped coaching."},{"startTime":1644.56,"endTime":1647.525,"body":"Because I started noticing,"},{"startTime":1644.56,"endTime":1647.525,"body":"especially coming out of COI."},{"startTime":1647.866,"endTime":1652.036,"body":"That a lot of people were ending"},{"startTime":1647.866,"endTime":1652.036,"body":"up in my group program rooms."},{"startTime":1652.036,"endTime":1654.196,"body":"Sometimes they would just break"},{"startTime":1652.036,"endTime":1654.196,"body":"down in tears all the time."},{"startTime":1654.196,"endTime":1656.626,"body":"And it was like, this"},{"startTime":1654.196,"endTime":1656.626,"body":"isn't about business."},{"startTime":1656.626,"endTime":1658.516,"body":"Like yes, we have emotional"},{"startTime":1656.626,"endTime":1658.516,"body":"days in our business, but you're"},{"startTime":1658.516,"endTime":1660.496,"body":"crying every single meeting."},{"startTime":1660.496,"endTime":1664.066,"body":"Or they would be trying"},{"startTime":1660.496,"endTime":1664.066,"body":"to solve an offer problem."},{"startTime":1664.096,"endTime":1668.716,"body":"Like I think my pricing's off, I dunno"},{"startTime":1664.096,"endTime":1668.716,"body":"how to explain my sales language."},{"startTime":1668.716,"endTime":1671.146,"body":"my leads aren't good,"},{"startTime":1668.716,"endTime":1671.146,"body":"I'm not finding them."},{"startTime":1671.146,"endTime":1673.611,"body":"And as we would dig"},{"startTime":1671.146,"endTime":1673.611,"body":"through the business part."},{"startTime":1673.925,"endTime":1676.685,"body":"There is just sort of this wall"},{"startTime":1673.925,"endTime":1676.685,"body":"where it's like there is no amount"},{"startTime":1676.685,"endTime":1681.845,"body":"of rewriting your sales page or"},{"startTime":1676.685,"endTime":1681.845,"body":"learning to, market yourself better."},{"startTime":1681.875,"endTime":1683.675,"body":"there were clearly things where it's like."},{"startTime":1683.675,"endTime":1687.365,"body":"This fear of being seen or"},{"startTime":1683.675,"endTime":1687.365,"body":"of talking to people or being"},{"startTime":1687.365,"endTime":1688.985,"body":"vulnerable with other people mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1689.225,"endTime":1690.605,"body":"Is the, is more the problem."},{"startTime":1690.605,"endTime":1692.765,"body":"And that's honestly just"},{"startTime":1690.605,"endTime":1692.765,"body":"not a business problem."},{"startTime":1692.765,"endTime":1694.655,"body":"That's self work that you have to do."},{"startTime":1694.655,"endTime":1698.375,"body":"and there was just so much of it, and"},{"startTime":1694.655,"endTime":1698.375,"body":"it might just be who I attract, but I"},{"startTime":1698.375,"endTime":1700.055,"body":"was like, I've gotta end this program."},{"startTime":1700.177,"endTime":1702.157,"body":"think that's actually, because that's."},{"startTime":1702.157,"endTime":1702.817,"body":"most people."},{"startTime":1702.817,"endTime":1704.497,"body":"It's not who you attract, okay?"},{"startTime":1704.587,"endTime":1709.177,"body":"It's that there, there is something in"},{"startTime":1704.587,"endTime":1709.177,"body":"us that thinks if we, manipulate the"},{"startTime":1709.177,"endTime":1713.497,"body":"circumstances that are external, then"},{"startTime":1709.177,"endTime":1713.497,"body":"we're finally gonna have peace internally."},{"startTime":1713.497,"endTime":1715.387,"body":"And so a lot of people"},{"startTime":1713.497,"endTime":1715.387,"body":"do that through business."},{"startTime":1715.387,"endTime":1720.037,"body":"They think if I can just dial in my"},{"startTime":1715.387,"endTime":1720.037,"body":"business, I'm finally gonna feel good."},{"startTime":1720.037,"endTime":1721.957,"body":"psychology calls that the arrival fallacy."},{"startTime":1722.162,"endTime":1725.372,"body":"Which is the idea that if you"},{"startTime":1722.162,"endTime":1725.372,"body":"do a particular thing, then"},{"startTime":1725.372,"endTime":1728.882,"body":"you will have arrived and life"},{"startTime":1725.372,"endTime":1728.882,"body":"will be comfortable and easy."},{"startTime":1728.882,"endTime":1730.472,"body":"And that is not real."},{"startTime":1730.472,"endTime":1732.242,"body":"Kind of like trying to make"},{"startTime":1730.472,"endTime":1732.242,"body":"a certain amount of money and"},{"startTime":1732.242,"endTime":1733.322,"body":"then being like, I made it."},{"startTime":1733.382,"endTime":1733.892,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1733.892,"endTime":1736.292,"body":"As soon as you make that amount of"},{"startTime":1733.892,"endTime":1736.292,"body":"money, it's not gonna be enough."},{"startTime":1736.352,"endTime":1736.412,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1736.412,"endTime":1740.282,"body":"Because of our dopaminergic system,"},{"startTime":1736.412,"endTime":1740.282,"body":"because of the hedonic treadmill."},{"startTime":1740.312,"endTime":1743.492,"body":"Because we are wired to only"},{"startTime":1740.312,"endTime":1743.492,"body":"get that dopamine hit and"},{"startTime":1743.492,"endTime":1745.562,"body":"enjoy something for a very."},{"startTime":1745.562,"endTime":1749.372,"body":"limited amount of time, so you're"},{"startTime":1745.562,"endTime":1749.372,"body":"never gonna solve the internal issues"},{"startTime":1749.372,"endTime":1751.112,"body":"by making something good externally."},{"startTime":1751.112,"endTime":1752.522,"body":"Oh, that is so juicy."},{"startTime":1752.852,"endTime":1753.812,"body":"I love that you used that word."},{"startTime":1753.812,"endTime":1755.681,"body":"I was like depressing, but Sure."},{"startTime":1755.681,"endTime":1756.041,"body":"Juicy."},{"startTime":1756.775,"endTime":1759.535,"body":"So I used to be in the craft"},{"startTime":1756.775,"endTime":1759.535,"body":"industry and the, the big thing"},{"startTime":1759.535,"endTime":1762.505,"body":"in there, 'cause there's so many"},{"startTime":1759.535,"endTime":1762.505,"body":"women, was charging your worth."},{"startTime":1762.505,"endTime":1766.135,"body":"And the issue was because they"},{"startTime":1762.505,"endTime":1766.135,"body":"couldn't charge a high enough price"},{"startTime":1766.135,"endTime":1769.975,"body":"because you think that the money"},{"startTime":1766.135,"endTime":1769.975,"body":"is coming from somebody's food."},{"startTime":1769.975,"endTime":1770.605,"body":"Money."},{"startTime":1771.325,"endTime":1773.155,"body":"Mm. So you're taking it from them."},{"startTime":1773.155,"endTime":1774.355,"body":"They're not giving it to you."},{"startTime":1774.355,"endTime":1777.145,"body":"You're taking it, and then their"},{"startTime":1774.355,"endTime":1777.145,"body":"kids aren't gonna have clothes and"},{"startTime":1777.145,"endTime":1779.965,"body":"all this, and you're like, you're"},{"startTime":1777.145,"endTime":1779.965,"body":"making that decision for them."},{"startTime":1780.145,"endTime":1780.685,"body":"Oh, wow."},{"startTime":1780.775,"endTime":1785.365,"body":"And so that's definitely more of a"},{"startTime":1780.775,"endTime":1785.365,"body":"therapy problem to be like, no, they are"},{"startTime":1785.365,"endTime":1787.75,"body":"deciding you're not affecting your agency."},{"startTime":1787.75,"endTime":1787.99,"body":"We have."},{"startTime":1787.99,"endTime":1788.36,"body":"They have agency."},{"startTime":1788.86,"endTime":1791.335,"body":"They get to decide and you don't"},{"startTime":1788.86,"endTime":1791.335,"body":"know how much money they have."},{"startTime":1791.335,"endTime":1791.395,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1791.575,"endTime":1795.275,"body":"And they get to make this decision"},{"startTime":1791.575,"endTime":1795.275,"body":"and maybe they love this thing and."},{"startTime":1795.497,"endTime":1798.407,"body":"Like for me, like I always price my"},{"startTime":1795.497,"endTime":1798.407,"body":"kits really high and people would"},{"startTime":1798.407,"endTime":1799.952,"body":"be like, how dare you and mm-hmm."},{"startTime":1800.092,"endTime":1802.817,"body":"But people would come back and be"},{"startTime":1800.092,"endTime":1802.817,"body":"like, just helped me with my anxiety."},{"startTime":1802.817,"endTime":1806.717,"body":"This got me through COVID and I was like,"},{"startTime":1802.817,"endTime":1806.717,"body":"for 30 bucks, that's cheaper than therapy."},{"startTime":1806.717,"endTime":1808.127,"body":"which you can't get right now."},{"startTime":1808.127,"endTime":1811.457,"body":"So that's kind of like, a very clear"},{"startTime":1808.127,"endTime":1811.457,"body":"example we can raise your prices,"},{"startTime":1811.457,"endTime":1815.507,"body":"but you won't ever tell people"},{"startTime":1811.457,"endTime":1815.507,"body":"what your prices are then, or."},{"startTime":1815.507,"endTime":1819.467,"body":"You just, you'll feel so like it's"},{"startTime":1815.507,"endTime":1819.467,"body":"just pulling teeth to get there."},{"startTime":1819.467,"endTime":1823.547,"body":"well I would say there's not a person on"},{"startTime":1819.467,"endTime":1823.547,"body":"the planet that doesn't have some sort"},{"startTime":1823.547,"endTime":1826.367,"body":"of, blind spot or shortcoming to work on."},{"startTime":1826.367,"endTime":1828.977,"body":"well one would be nice,"},{"startTime":1826.367,"endTime":1828.977,"body":"maybe the Dalai Lama."},{"startTime":1828.977,"endTime":1830.207,"body":"Oh, even he's not perfect."},{"startTime":1830.207,"endTime":1830.447,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1830.447,"endTime":1831.227,"body":"Actually he's not."},{"startTime":1831.227,"endTime":1833.687,"body":"But he is accountable"},{"startTime":1831.227,"endTime":1833.687,"body":"when he is imperfect."},{"startTime":1833.777,"endTime":1834.347,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1834.467,"endTime":1835.217,"body":"Which I love."},{"startTime":1835.277,"endTime":1835.367,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":1835.367,"endTime":1836.477,"body":"That's as good as it gets."},{"startTime":1836.477,"endTime":1840.167,"body":"I told my therapist that we'd started"},{"startTime":1836.477,"endTime":1840.167,"body":"with the skeletons in the closet and I"},{"startTime":1840.167,"endTime":1842.567,"body":"was like, so now it's a walk-in closet."},{"startTime":1842.567,"endTime":1845.687,"body":"we're gonna expand further"},{"startTime":1842.567,"endTime":1845.687,"body":"if you keep finding them."},{"startTime":1845.687,"endTime":1847.907,"body":"So could we like stop finding them?"},{"startTime":1847.907,"endTime":1851.433,"body":"And girl, I have a multi acre"},{"startTime":1847.907,"endTime":1851.433,"body":"warehouse facility right."},{"startTime":1852.342,"endTime":1852.522,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1852.522,"endTime":1855.492,"body":"But to that point, anybody's"},{"startTime":1852.522,"endTime":1855.492,"body":"business is gonna improve the"},{"startTime":1855.492,"endTime":1857.172,"body":"more that they work on themselves."},{"startTime":1857.172,"endTime":1858.432,"body":"And not just their business."},{"startTime":1858.432,"endTime":1859.992,"body":"Every domain in their life."},{"startTime":1859.992,"endTime":1860.142,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":1860.142,"endTime":1860.382,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1860.412,"endTime":1861.702,"body":"Their relationships."},{"startTime":1861.702,"endTime":1863.052,"body":"I mean, whatever it is that they do."},{"startTime":1863.052,"endTime":1865.662,"body":"And I think people, people skip that part."},{"startTime":1865.662,"endTime":1866.087,"body":"Oh, it's hard."},{"startTime":1866.359,"endTime":1867.019,"body":"That's scary."},{"startTime":1867.019,"endTime":1867.559,"body":"It is."},{"startTime":1867.619,"endTime":1868.459,"body":"It is very scary."},{"startTime":1868.489,"endTime":1870.499,"body":"It's very scary to work on yourself."},{"startTime":1870.499,"endTime":1871.909,"body":"You have to admit some things."},{"startTime":1872.389,"endTime":1875.869,"body":"Admitting things is really hard, and"},{"startTime":1872.389,"endTime":1875.869,"body":"taking accountability and responsibility"},{"startTime":1875.869,"endTime":1879.379,"body":"for choices that you've made or the part"},{"startTime":1875.869,"endTime":1879.379,"body":"you've played in certain interactions"},{"startTime":1879.379,"endTime":1881.869,"body":"is really, really hard to do."},{"startTime":1881.869,"endTime":1885.019,"body":"And it doesn't mean that you always"},{"startTime":1881.869,"endTime":1885.019,"body":"have to like go talk to the person,"},{"startTime":1885.019,"endTime":1888.529,"body":"like a 12 step program, but like to"},{"startTime":1885.019,"endTime":1888.529,"body":"deal with it for yourself though Yeah."},{"startTime":1888.889,"endTime":1893.179,"body":"Requires you not to run away from yourself"},{"startTime":1888.889,"endTime":1893.179,"body":"and that takes a quite a lot of bravery."},{"startTime":1893.179,"endTime":1893.539,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1893.539,"endTime":1896.209,"body":"And I think for me, one of the"},{"startTime":1893.539,"endTime":1896.209,"body":"concepts that really helped"},{"startTime":1896.209,"endTime":1898.399,"body":"was, understanding dialectics."},{"startTime":1898.399,"endTime":1901.519,"body":"people will gravitate"},{"startTime":1898.399,"endTime":1901.519,"body":"toward either feeling shame."},{"startTime":1901.549,"endTime":1903.679,"body":"or blaming everybody else, right?"},{"startTime":1903.679,"endTime":1907.189,"body":"Again, the polarity and the truth"},{"startTime":1903.679,"endTime":1907.189,"body":"is in the middle where, um, where"},{"startTime":1907.189,"endTime":1911.179,"body":"we are all, we all have beautiful"},{"startTime":1907.189,"endTime":1911.179,"body":"parts and we're also deeply flawed."},{"startTime":1911.179,"endTime":1914.539,"body":"And so holding the dialectic of"},{"startTime":1911.179,"endTime":1914.539,"body":"two things that seem on the surface"},{"startTime":1914.539,"endTime":1916.249,"body":"that can't coexist actually do."},{"startTime":1916.249,"endTime":1919.279,"body":"so recognizing when I was younger,"},{"startTime":1916.249,"endTime":1919.279,"body":"I would over identify with the parts"},{"startTime":1919.279,"endTime":1922.489,"body":"of me that were disappointing and I'd"},{"startTime":1919.279,"endTime":1922.489,"body":"be like, that's the real me and the"},{"startTime":1922.489,"endTime":1925.819,"body":"other me that shows up for friends"},{"startTime":1922.489,"endTime":1925.819,"body":"and is generous and funny and silly."},{"startTime":1925.819,"endTime":1927.169,"body":"That's, that's not the real me."},{"startTime":1927.169,"endTime":1930.409,"body":"And so understanding the concept"},{"startTime":1927.169,"endTime":1930.409,"body":"of, the dialectic, but we're"},{"startTime":1930.409,"endTime":1933.439,"body":"living in a time that's just"},{"startTime":1930.409,"endTime":1933.439,"body":"rife with dichotomous thinking."},{"startTime":1933.439,"endTime":1937.219,"body":"Everything is in a good category or a bad"},{"startTime":1933.439,"endTime":1937.219,"body":"category, and we do that to ourselves."},{"startTime":1937.219,"endTime":1941.029,"body":"But the more that we can hold the"},{"startTime":1937.219,"endTime":1941.029,"body":"fact that no, we're flawed and also"},{"startTime":1941.029,"endTime":1944.569,"body":"we're amazing, but you have to be"},{"startTime":1941.029,"endTime":1944.569,"body":"able to hold both to do that work."},{"startTime":1944.569,"endTime":1947.154,"body":"I think that's a wonderful segue"},{"startTime":1944.569,"endTime":1947.154,"body":"into a concept that you have."},{"startTime":1947.521,"endTime":1951.061,"body":"On your downloadable handout that"},{"startTime":1947.521,"endTime":1951.061,"body":"again, we will have in the links"},{"startTime":1951.061,"endTime":1954.751,"body":"in the show notes, but you have"},{"startTime":1951.061,"endTime":1954.751,"body":"terms called vulnerability hangover"},{"startTime":1954.751,"endTime":1956.851,"body":"versus a superiority hangover."},{"startTime":1956.851,"endTime":1958.291,"body":"And I just think a so"},{"startTime":1956.851,"endTime":1958.291,"body":"freaking brilliant dude like."},{"startTime":1959.216,"endTime":1962.827,"body":"Fucking love it because when, when"},{"startTime":1959.216,"endTime":1962.827,"body":"I, when he walked into the studio and"},{"startTime":1962.827,"endTime":1964.387,"body":"you're like, look, superiority, hangover."},{"startTime":1964.387,"endTime":1967.597,"body":"And I was like, oh God,"},{"startTime":1964.387,"endTime":1967.597,"body":"we all raised our hands."},{"startTime":1967.697,"endTime":1971.627,"body":"I made a sheet, for people to work"},{"startTime":1967.697,"endTime":1971.627,"body":"with themselves in social situations"},{"startTime":1971.627,"endTime":1974.717,"body":"and on the sheet at first was just"},{"startTime":1971.627,"endTime":1974.717,"body":"the vulnerability hangover, which were"},{"startTime":1974.717,"endTime":1979.397,"body":"thoughts like, oh, was I too much or"},{"startTime":1974.717,"endTime":1979.397,"body":"Did they like me or did I talk too much?"},{"startTime":1979.397,"endTime":1981.587,"body":"And then I thought about it a"},{"startTime":1979.397,"endTime":1981.587,"body":"little more and I was like, oh."},{"startTime":1981.587,"endTime":1985.097,"body":"But sometimes we do the opposite and"},{"startTime":1981.587,"endTime":1985.097,"body":"we're like, oh, they were too much."},{"startTime":1985.127,"endTime":1985.697,"body":"I didn't like them."},{"startTime":1986.0,"endTime":1990.2,"body":"And so recognizing that both of"},{"startTime":1986.0,"endTime":1990.2,"body":"those are defense mechanisms."},{"startTime":1990.2,"endTime":1995.51,"body":"and one of them, is, your system, going"},{"startTime":1990.2,"endTime":1995.51,"body":"inward, the vulnerability hangovers that"},{"startTime":1995.51,"endTime":1999.92,"body":"is the inward, and that, and the outward"},{"startTime":1995.51,"endTime":1999.92,"body":"defense mechanism is feeling superior."},{"startTime":1999.92,"endTime":2003.34,"body":"And so being able to notice that,"},{"startTime":1999.92,"endTime":2003.34,"body":"and if you don't notice it in real"},{"startTime":2003.34,"endTime":2006.22,"body":"time, you can reflect afterwards"},{"startTime":2003.34,"endTime":2006.22,"body":"and notice, I have vacillated"},{"startTime":2006.22,"endTime":2007.99,"body":"between both of those so many times."},{"startTime":2007.99,"endTime":2011.98,"body":"I mean, every time I'm put into a"},{"startTime":2007.99,"endTime":2011.98,"body":"situation with a new group of people, my"},{"startTime":2011.98,"endTime":2013.99,"body":"first thought is these are not my people."},{"startTime":2013.99,"endTime":2014.1,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":2014.2,"endTime":2015.37,"body":"Never felt that."},{"startTime":2015.37,"endTime":2016.17,"body":"Never."},{"startTime":2016.21,"endTime":2017.89,"body":"And that's just, that's just a defense."},{"startTime":2017.89,"endTime":2019.39,"body":"Like, I'm scared just people."},{"startTime":2019.39,"endTime":2020.86,"body":"These people might reject me."},{"startTime":2020.908,"endTime":2024.208,"body":"I can like giggle to myself when"},{"startTime":2020.908,"endTime":2024.208,"body":"I have that thought because I"},{"startTime":2024.208,"endTime":2026.428,"body":"literally can't think of an exception."},{"startTime":2026.428,"endTime":2030.388,"body":"When the outcome is not actually, oh,"},{"startTime":2026.428,"endTime":2030.388,"body":"these people are wonderful, or I found"},{"startTime":2030.388,"endTime":2033.898,"body":"a wonderful person, but that doesn't"},{"startTime":2030.388,"endTime":2033.898,"body":"mean that my brain doesn't still tell"},{"startTime":2033.898,"endTime":2035.938,"body":"me every time I go into a new event."},{"startTime":2035.938,"endTime":2037.498,"body":"I don't know about these people."},{"startTime":2037.498,"endTime":2038.428,"body":"These aren't for me."},{"startTime":2038.428,"endTime":2042.178,"body":"I heard you all talking about"},{"startTime":2038.428,"endTime":2042.178,"body":"this in one of your podcasts."},{"startTime":2042.178,"endTime":2046.588,"body":"the idea people have a real,"},{"startTime":2042.178,"endTime":2046.588,"body":"attachment to what they want to get"},{"startTime":2046.588,"endTime":2048.088,"body":"out of going to a network event."},{"startTime":2048.088,"endTime":2050.978,"body":"I think to broaden your idea"},{"startTime":2048.088,"endTime":2050.978,"body":"of what the benefit could be."},{"startTime":2051.273,"endTime":2054.303,"body":"And I've heard you two talk about it,"},{"startTime":2051.273,"endTime":2054.303,"body":"like maybe, maybe you just meet a new"},{"startTime":2054.303,"endTime":2058.623,"body":"friend or maybe you meet somebody who"},{"startTime":2054.303,"endTime":2058.623,"body":"knows somebody that connects you later"},{"startTime":2058.653,"endTime":2062.882,"body":"but, just staying open to the fact that,"},{"startTime":2058.653,"endTime":2062.882,"body":"I think I like the term outcome agnostic."},{"startTime":2062.882,"endTime":2066.632,"body":"And so recognizing that there"},{"startTime":2062.882,"endTime":2066.632,"body":"are so many things that could be"},{"startTime":2066.632,"endTime":2068.012,"body":"in play that you're not seeing."},{"startTime":2068.012,"endTime":2070.947,"body":"And so if you just evaluate it through"},{"startTime":2068.012,"endTime":2070.947,"body":"the lens of I didn't get a client."},{"startTime":2071.276,"endTime":2072.326,"body":"Or nobody liked me."},{"startTime":2072.326,"endTime":2075.716,"body":"there's a hundred other, other variables"},{"startTime":2072.326,"endTime":2075.716,"body":"that you're not seeing that could be of"},{"startTime":2075.716,"endTime":2077.576,"body":"benefit to you if you expand your mind."},{"startTime":2077.576,"endTime":2079.916,"body":"maybe I didn't get what I wanted"},{"startTime":2077.576,"endTime":2079.916,"body":"out of a circumstance, but I"},{"startTime":2079.916,"endTime":2081.626,"body":"learned something about myself."},{"startTime":2081.626,"endTime":2082.376,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":2082.376,"endTime":2083.786,"body":"Isn't that ultimately the goal?"},{"startTime":2083.786,"endTime":2084.836,"body":"Yeah, for sure."},{"startTime":2084.946,"endTime":2086.566,"body":"Micah, we could talk for hours."},{"startTime":2086.626,"endTime":2086.986,"body":"Oh my God."},{"startTime":2086.986,"endTime":2087.586,"body":"It'd be so easy."},{"startTime":2088.936,"endTime":2090.466,"body":"I think this is a wonderful primer though."},{"startTime":2090.466,"endTime":2093.616,"body":"So thank you for helping us,"},{"startTime":2090.466,"endTime":2093.616,"body":"do this for the audience."},{"startTime":2093.616,"endTime":2095.686,"body":"I know that it will help a lot of people"},{"startTime":2096.736,"endTime":2098.206,"body":"Megan, I feel therapized."},{"startTime":2098.206,"endTime":2099.826,"body":"You didn't even have to"},{"startTime":2098.206,"endTime":2099.826,"body":"pay for that session."},{"startTime":2100.121,"endTime":2100.401,"body":"I know."},{"startTime":2100.546,"endTime":2103.096,"body":"I was sitting across the table"},{"startTime":2100.546,"endTime":2103.096,"body":"from, and I was like, I feel like I"},{"startTime":2103.096,"endTime":2106.766,"body":"should pass Micah, like a few dollar"},{"startTime":2103.096,"endTime":2106.766,"body":"bills to be like, thanks friend."},{"startTime":2106.766,"endTime":2108.986,"body":"Honestly, I have talked to"},{"startTime":2106.766,"endTime":2108.986,"body":"Micah for hours and hours."},{"startTime":2108.986,"endTime":2109.646,"body":"I know you could too."},{"startTime":2109.646,"endTime":2113.516,"body":"we had mentioned at the very beginning"},{"startTime":2109.646,"endTime":2113.516,"body":"of this episode, and then we gave people"},{"startTime":2113.516,"endTime":2117.596,"body":"a chance to listen to it with Micah on"},{"startTime":2113.516,"endTime":2117.596,"body":"the microphone, talking about people"},{"startTime":2117.596,"endTime":2122.396,"body":"in business who might unwittingly use"},{"startTime":2117.596,"endTime":2122.396,"body":"their businesses as a distraction tool."},{"startTime":2122.396,"endTime":2126.896,"body":"A very convenient distraction tool"},{"startTime":2122.396,"endTime":2126.896,"body":"because it's easy for us as interesting"},{"startTime":2126.901,"endTime":2130.256,"body":"human beings with psychological"},{"startTime":2126.901,"endTime":2130.256,"body":"issues to try to fix things externally"},{"startTime":2130.256,"endTime":2131.141,"body":"when what we really need to do is."},{"startTime":2131.64,"endTime":2134.97,"body":"Work on something internally, some"},{"startTime":2131.64,"endTime":2134.97,"body":"internal development issues, and that"},{"startTime":2134.97,"endTime":2137.61,"body":"if you do the internal development, I"},{"startTime":2134.97,"endTime":2137.61,"body":"mean, it's gonna help your business grow."},{"startTime":2137.61,"endTime":2138.24,"body":"It's what you need."},{"startTime":2138.24,"endTime":2140.1,"body":"I was trying to think,"},{"startTime":2138.24,"endTime":2140.1,"body":"have I done this myself?"},{"startTime":2140.1,"endTime":2141.36,"body":"And I'm sure that I have."},{"startTime":2141.36,"endTime":2143.31,"body":"I think it's easier to"},{"startTime":2141.36,"endTime":2143.31,"body":"see it in other people."},{"startTime":2143.31,"endTime":2143.7,"body":"Oh yeah."},{"startTime":2143.76,"endTime":2146.4,"body":"Where they blow something up"},{"startTime":2143.76,"endTime":2146.4,"body":"and then they're like, they"},{"startTime":2146.4,"endTime":2147.45,"body":"just didn't understand me."},{"startTime":2147.45,"endTime":2149.79,"body":"I'm gonna go, offer this new offer."},{"startTime":2149.795,"endTime":2150.195,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":2150.3,"endTime":2153.69,"body":"And it'll be totally different and"},{"startTime":2150.3,"endTime":2153.69,"body":"these people will get me, and it's like."},{"startTime":2153.69,"endTime":2157.98,"body":"Yeah, no, you did something bad and you're"},{"startTime":2153.69,"endTime":2157.98,"body":"just trying to like run away from the"},{"startTime":2157.98,"endTime":2162.09,"body":"fire, like the dumpster that you set on"},{"startTime":2157.98,"endTime":2162.09,"body":"fire and are just trying something new."},{"startTime":2162.09,"endTime":2162.27,"body":"ooh."},{"startTime":2162.27,"endTime":2165.54,"body":"Do you think this is"},{"startTime":2162.27,"endTime":2165.54,"body":"why business fads exist?"},{"startTime":2165.54,"endTime":2166.92,"body":"We've been talking about this."},{"startTime":2166.95,"endTime":2167.04,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2167.4,"endTime":2168.07,"body":"I'm convinced this."},{"startTime":2168.07,"endTime":2168.215,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":2168.295,"endTime":2169.47,"body":"This is why MLMs exist."},{"startTime":2169.62,"endTime":2169.71,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":2170.16,"endTime":2174.33,"body":"Because, they try to make it in quotes,"},{"startTime":2170.16,"endTime":2174.33,"body":"easy, your startups easy, just buy this"},{"startTime":2174.33,"endTime":2178.62,"body":"whole package of stuff and then find all"},{"startTime":2174.33,"endTime":2178.62,"body":"your downline people, blah, blah, blah."},{"startTime":2178.62,"endTime":2182.16,"body":"And so people move from essential"},{"startTime":2178.62,"endTime":2182.16,"body":"oils to some fitness thing, to some"},{"startTime":2182.16,"endTime":2184.41,"body":"makeup thing, to some jewelry thing."},{"startTime":2184.41,"endTime":2185.76,"body":"It's like never ending."},{"startTime":2185.76,"endTime":2189.39,"body":"A lot of the trends that I saw"},{"startTime":2185.76,"endTime":2189.39,"body":"definitely were for women, we"},{"startTime":2189.42,"endTime":2191.64,"body":"both saw the mommy blogger rise."},{"startTime":2191.64,"endTime":2192.06,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":2192.09,"endTime":2193.89,"body":"That was, you don't have"},{"startTime":2192.09,"endTime":2193.89,"body":"to leave your house."},{"startTime":2193.95,"endTime":2194.25,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2194.25,"endTime":2198.93,"body":"that was more of a, you know, a, you are"},{"startTime":2194.25,"endTime":2198.93,"body":"stuck in your house for certain reasons."},{"startTime":2198.93,"endTime":2200.85,"body":"I got into."},{"startTime":2200.85,"endTime":2202.08,"body":"web design was a big one."},{"startTime":2202.08,"endTime":2203.1,"body":"Graphic design."},{"startTime":2203.16,"endTime":2204.9,"body":"SEO Surface design."},{"startTime":2205.02,"endTime":2205.74,"body":"SEO."},{"startTime":2205.8,"endTime":2206.85,"body":"Virtual assistants."},{"startTime":2206.88,"endTime":2207.18,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":2207.24,"endTime":2207.57,"body":"Virtual."},{"startTime":2207.57,"endTime":2210.12,"body":"So all of it was like online courses."},{"startTime":2210.12,"endTime":2210.33,"body":"It's easy."},{"startTime":2211.86,"endTime":2212.28,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2212.64,"endTime":2216.06,"body":"So, but you would see the same"},{"startTime":2212.64,"endTime":2216.06,"body":"people jump from one to the next,"},{"startTime":2216.06,"endTime":2216.99,"body":"to the next to the next, yes."},{"startTime":2216.99,"endTime":2219.9,"body":"Because they hadn't figured"},{"startTime":2216.99,"endTime":2219.9,"body":"out how to actually sell."},{"startTime":2219.9,"endTime":2222.9,"body":"Or how to develop a network"},{"startTime":2219.9,"endTime":2222.9,"body":"because business is people."},{"startTime":2222.9,"endTime":2223.77,"body":"So Yeah."},{"startTime":2223.83,"endTime":2226.11,"body":"You don't market to nobody, right?"},{"startTime":2226.11,"endTime":2227.1,"body":"Or everybody."},{"startTime":2227.22,"endTime":2227.37,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2227.37,"endTime":2231.12,"body":"You market to your market and you"},{"startTime":2227.37,"endTime":2231.12,"body":"need connection to your market, and"},{"startTime":2231.12,"endTime":2232.56,"body":"this is where the networking comes in."},{"startTime":2232.56,"endTime":2234.93,"body":"But yeah, people will sell you the"},{"startTime":2232.56,"endTime":2234.93,"body":"sun, the moon, and the stars, and"},{"startTime":2234.93,"endTime":2238.05,"body":"a bottle of snake oil, and you're"},{"startTime":2234.93,"endTime":2238.05,"body":"like, look at me, I'm doing business."},{"startTime":2238.05,"endTime":2239.19,"body":"And you're like, why isn't it working?"},{"startTime":2239.19,"endTime":2241.59,"body":"It's like, 'cause boo, you"},{"startTime":2239.19,"endTime":2241.59,"body":"need to do some internal work."},{"startTime":2241.59,"endTime":2241.83,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2241.83,"endTime":2243.18,"body":"But you could avoid that because."},{"startTime":2243.446,"endTime":2245.156,"body":"To start the business."},{"startTime":2245.156,"endTime":2245.216,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2245.276,"endTime":2247.886,"body":"It's gonna take all that"},{"startTime":2245.276,"endTime":2247.886,"body":"work and all that time."},{"startTime":2247.886,"endTime":2251.906,"body":"And once I get everything set up,"},{"startTime":2247.886,"endTime":2251.906,"body":"then I can go do the marketing."},{"startTime":2251.906,"endTime":2256.196,"body":"that was just such a valuable"},{"startTime":2251.906,"endTime":2256.196,"body":"discussion point and Micah had"},{"startTime":2256.196,"endTime":2257.576,"body":"all the right words for it."},{"startTime":2257.576,"endTime":2260.246,"body":"You and I have seen so"},{"startTime":2257.576,"endTime":2260.246,"body":"many people avoid this."},{"startTime":2260.246,"endTime":2266.396,"body":"But we've also seen lots of people"},{"startTime":2260.246,"endTime":2266.396,"body":"avoiding their networking activities when"},{"startTime":2266.426,"endTime":2268.286,"body":"that's not gonna solve all your problems."},{"startTime":2268.286,"endTime":2271.946,"body":"But because business is people, you"},{"startTime":2268.286,"endTime":2271.946,"body":"need to have some relationships and"},{"startTime":2271.946,"endTime":2274.526,"body":"you need to, you need to be able"},{"startTime":2271.946,"endTime":2274.526,"body":"to maintain those relationships."},{"startTime":2274.526,"endTime":2278.096,"body":"Actually, the three of us, before"},{"startTime":2274.526,"endTime":2278.096,"body":"we hit record, sat down, went over"},{"startTime":2278.096,"endTime":2281.066,"body":"our notes and we actually asked"},{"startTime":2278.096,"endTime":2281.066,"body":"a couple of really big things."},{"startTime":2281.066,"endTime":2283.016,"body":"' cause the topics were just so huge."},{"startTime":2283.106,"endTime":2283.226,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":2283.256,"endTime":2284.516,"body":"And one of them, we just."},{"startTime":2284.586,"endTime":2288.276,"body":"Honestly did not have the breadth"},{"startTime":2284.586,"endTime":2288.276,"body":"in this episode to get into it."},{"startTime":2288.276,"endTime":2291.756,"body":"we don't wanna turn it into a"},{"startTime":2288.276,"endTime":2291.756,"body":"Huberman Lab podcast, so we're"},{"startTime":2291.756,"endTime":2293.136,"body":"not gonna record for four hours."},{"startTime":2293.136,"endTime":2293.826,"body":"We're just not gonna do that."},{"startTime":2293.908,"endTime":2296.968,"body":"but one of them was, especially"},{"startTime":2293.908,"endTime":2296.968,"body":"for our neurodivergent crowd,"},{"startTime":2296.968,"endTime":2301.138,"body":"but even the non neurodivergence,"},{"startTime":2296.968,"endTime":2301.138,"body":"maintaining relationships is a thing."},{"startTime":2301.138,"endTime":2302.698,"body":"Well, Micah said it"},{"startTime":2301.138,"endTime":2302.698,"body":"would be a whole season."},{"startTime":2302.698,"endTime":2305.158,"body":"So yeah, we like trusted as judgment."},{"startTime":2305.158,"endTime":2305.668,"body":"but yeah."},{"startTime":2305.668,"endTime":2311.368,"body":"on a more entry level, talking about"},{"startTime":2305.668,"endTime":2311.368,"body":"external problem solving versus internal"},{"startTime":2311.368,"endTime":2314.668,"body":"problem solving, I think that this"},{"startTime":2311.368,"endTime":2314.668,"body":"was a great way for people to get"},{"startTime":2314.668,"endTime":2317.698,"body":"introduced into it instead of trying"},{"startTime":2314.668,"endTime":2317.698,"body":"to throw the whole topic at them."},{"startTime":2317.728,"endTime":2321.388,"body":"One of the other things that Micah"},{"startTime":2317.728,"endTime":2321.388,"body":"talked about was what you and I are"},{"startTime":2321.388,"endTime":2326.248,"body":"gonna paraphrase, which I know I'm so"},{"startTime":2321.388,"endTime":2326.248,"body":"guilty of doing this, and it's if I"},{"startTime":2326.248,"endTime":2330.088,"body":"can achieve this thing, like if I can"},{"startTime":2326.248,"endTime":2330.088,"body":"make this amount of money, or if I can"},{"startTime":2330.088,"endTime":2334.078,"body":"speak on these stages, then I, I'll"},{"startTime":2330.088,"endTime":2334.078,"body":"know that I made it or I'll feel like"},{"startTime":2334.078,"endTime":2337.198,"body":"I made it, or somehow I'm more worthy."},{"startTime":2337.198,"endTime":2341.368,"body":"Of other people's validation"},{"startTime":2337.198,"endTime":2341.368,"body":"and attention and whatnot."},{"startTime":2341.368,"endTime":2343.678,"body":"I mean, we did talk a lot about"},{"startTime":2341.368,"endTime":2343.678,"body":"inner child healing work and I"},{"startTime":2343.678,"endTime":2347.188,"body":"think a lot of that plays into"},{"startTime":2343.678,"endTime":2347.188,"body":"this, but I think it's so true."},{"startTime":2347.188,"endTime":2351.718,"body":"I think we see people chase people"},{"startTime":2347.188,"endTime":2351.718,"body":"in networking activities 'cause it's"},{"startTime":2351.718,"endTime":2353.548,"body":"like they want proximity to people."},{"startTime":2353.608,"endTime":2353.848,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2353.848,"endTime":2356.008,"body":"when I worked in the"},{"startTime":2353.848,"endTime":2356.008,"body":"entertainment industry."},{"startTime":2356.418,"endTime":2360.858,"body":"you would see people chase after"},{"startTime":2356.418,"endTime":2360.858,"body":"celebrities or important producers, or"},{"startTime":2360.858,"endTime":2364.908,"body":"important executives, and they would"},{"startTime":2360.858,"endTime":2364.908,"body":"want proximity to, to those people."},{"startTime":2364.908,"endTime":2366.468,"body":"They didn't really need"},{"startTime":2364.908,"endTime":2366.468,"body":"anything from them."},{"startTime":2366.588,"endTime":2368.538,"body":"They just wanted to be"},{"startTime":2366.588,"endTime":2368.538,"body":"associated with them."},{"startTime":2368.538,"endTime":2371.358,"body":"It would make them feel like maybe they"},{"startTime":2368.538,"endTime":2371.358,"body":"were important too, and they see that"},{"startTime":2371.358,"endTime":2373.548,"body":"happen in our networking communities."},{"startTime":2373.548,"endTime":2374.448,"body":"Startup communities."},{"startTime":2374.448,"endTime":2375.468,"body":"Notorious for this."},{"startTime":2375.468,"endTime":2377.958,"body":"I mean, I'll be honest, I'm"},{"startTime":2375.468,"endTime":2377.958,"body":"definitely guilty of it."},{"startTime":2377.958,"endTime":2378.948,"body":"I'm so guilty of this."},{"startTime":2379.043,"endTime":2381.108,"body":"I, I do all the time where I'm"},{"startTime":2379.043,"endTime":2381.108,"body":"like, oh my God, guess who I know?"},{"startTime":2381.978,"endTime":2382.548,"body":"Isn't this great?"},{"startTime":2382.638,"endTime":2384.048,"body":"I have hung onto business cards."},{"startTime":2384.048,"endTime":2388.068,"body":"They are still in my Rolodex and they"},{"startTime":2384.048,"endTime":2388.068,"body":"might have moved on from whatever"},{"startTime":2388.068,"endTime":2391.728,"body":"that company or job is, but I'm"},{"startTime":2388.068,"endTime":2391.728,"body":"like, but I have it in my Rolodex."},{"startTime":2391.818,"endTime":2393.288,"body":"Like, it's so stupid."},{"startTime":2393.288,"endTime":2398.381,"body":"I mean, every networking event that"},{"startTime":2393.288,"endTime":2398.381,"body":"we go to, you and I. Talk to the host."},{"startTime":2398.381,"endTime":2400.391,"body":"And we exchange information."},{"startTime":2400.391,"endTime":2400.511,"body":"Mm-hmm."},{"startTime":2400.511,"endTime":2403.721,"body":"Do I know what I'm going to"},{"startTime":2400.511,"endTime":2403.721,"body":"do with this information?"},{"startTime":2403.721,"endTime":2404.351,"body":"No."},{"startTime":2404.351,"endTime":2408.281,"body":"But for some reason I want it because"},{"startTime":2404.351,"endTime":2408.281,"body":"in in that situation, they're important."},{"startTime":2408.281,"endTime":2408.791,"body":"They're the host."},{"startTime":2408.821,"endTime":2409.211,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2409.211,"endTime":2410.921,"body":"I mean, people do it with us when we host."},{"startTime":2410.981,"endTime":2411.821,"body":"I think two people."},{"startTime":2411.971,"endTime":2412.331,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2412.391,"endTime":2412.811,"body":"There's that."},{"startTime":2412.811,"endTime":2416.021,"body":"Like if I just get on this person's"},{"startTime":2412.811,"endTime":2416.021,"body":"podcast, I think a lot of times"},{"startTime":2416.021,"endTime":2417.761,"body":"too, there hasn't been a lot of."},{"startTime":2417.761,"endTime":2420.731,"body":"Research into, is this"},{"startTime":2417.761,"endTime":2420.731,"body":"actually a good fit?"},{"startTime":2420.731,"endTime":2423.701,"body":"But you've heard things and this"},{"startTime":2420.731,"endTime":2423.701,"body":"person has clout, and so you're"},{"startTime":2423.701,"endTime":2426.371,"body":"just like, oh, I need this one."},{"startTime":2426.371,"endTime":2430.241,"body":"But then a lot of times either you'll"},{"startTime":2426.371,"endTime":2430.241,"body":"never get it because when you do chat,"},{"startTime":2430.241,"endTime":2432.701,"body":"they realize you're not a good fit."},{"startTime":2432.731,"endTime":2433.781,"body":"Or you do get it."},{"startTime":2433.811,"endTime":2436.961,"body":"'cause I've been on certain things and"},{"startTime":2433.811,"endTime":2436.961,"body":"then you're like, oh, like I've been"},{"startTime":2436.961,"endTime":2439.601,"body":"in magazines, nothing has come from it."},{"startTime":2439.601,"endTime":2444.484,"body":"Oh yeah, there's a, um, a story"},{"startTime":2439.601,"endTime":2444.484,"body":"of an author who went on to a big"},{"startTime":2444.484,"endTime":2449.884,"body":"podcast, I think it was the Jay"},{"startTime":2444.484,"endTime":2449.884,"body":"Shetty podcast, and she later ranted"},{"startTime":2450.405,"endTime":2454.485,"body":"in some forums online about how it"},{"startTime":2450.405,"endTime":2454.485,"body":"didn't bring her anything at all."},{"startTime":2454.485,"endTime":2456.825,"body":"And, you know, being on a"},{"startTime":2454.485,"endTime":2456.825,"body":"podcast of that size doesn't"},{"startTime":2456.825,"endTime":2459.795,"body":"guarantee you shit, honestly, but."},{"startTime":2459.795,"endTime":2463.395,"body":"The business coach in me was like,"},{"startTime":2459.795,"endTime":2463.395,"body":"where was your capture funnel?"},{"startTime":2463.395,"endTime":2463.875,"body":"Like Yeah."},{"startTime":2463.875,"endTime":2467.175,"body":"You had so much opportunity to"},{"startTime":2463.875,"endTime":2467.175,"body":"lead them into things, but also his"},{"startTime":2467.175,"endTime":2468.555,"body":"audience may not be your audience."},{"startTime":2468.56,"endTime":2468.75,"body":"Exactly."},{"startTime":2468.81,"endTime":2472.395,"body":"And so even if he gave them the best"},{"startTime":2468.81,"endTime":2472.395,"body":"opt-ins, they're not gonna opt in anyways."},{"startTime":2472.395,"endTime":2474.975,"body":"So it doesn't really matter"},{"startTime":2472.395,"endTime":2474.975,"body":"how big that audience is."},{"startTime":2474.975,"endTime":2475.455,"body":"No."},{"startTime":2475.455,"endTime":2479.745,"body":"So I think a lot of it is to"},{"startTime":2475.455,"endTime":2479.745,"body":"try not to have those goalposts."},{"startTime":2479.775,"endTime":2482.745,"body":"'cause the other thing is"},{"startTime":2479.775,"endTime":2482.745,"body":"you will keep moving them."},{"startTime":2482.745,"endTime":2486.435,"body":"I'm notorious for not celebrating"},{"startTime":2482.745,"endTime":2486.435,"body":"achievements and just like, what's next?"},{"startTime":2486.435,"endTime":2486.915,"body":"What's next?"},{"startTime":2486.915,"endTime":2487.545,"body":"What's next?"},{"startTime":2487.545,"endTime":2493.725,"body":"That's a whole other episode of my"},{"startTime":2487.545,"endTime":2493.725,"body":"God, but I feel like, so instead, if"},{"startTime":2493.725,"endTime":2498.195,"body":"you can kind of go into these events"},{"startTime":2493.725,"endTime":2498.195,"body":"just being like more curious, instead"},{"startTime":2498.195,"endTime":2501.82,"body":"of like, I need to talk to this person"},{"startTime":2498.195,"endTime":2501.82,"body":"and I need to get X, Y, Z from them."},{"startTime":2502.134,"endTime":2506.334,"body":"Well, that's the desperation point,"},{"startTime":2502.134,"endTime":2506.334,"body":"which could be an anxiety response."},{"startTime":2506.334,"endTime":2507.354,"body":"Oh yeah, for sure."},{"startTime":2507.354,"endTime":2507.684,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":2507.684,"endTime":2509.544,"body":"That's the girl who's"},{"startTime":2507.684,"endTime":2509.544,"body":"like, is that anxiety?"},{"startTime":2509.544,"endTime":2509.784,"body":"Yeah, I dunno."},{"startTime":2510.324,"endTime":2511.374,"body":"Definitely do that."},{"startTime":2511.374,"endTime":2511.644,"body":"yeah."},{"startTime":2511.674,"endTime":2513.594,"body":"'cause it's, it ties in with the FOMO too."},{"startTime":2513.594,"endTime":2516.684,"body":"You might not get another chance,"},{"startTime":2513.594,"endTime":2516.684,"body":"but also this might be the one."},{"startTime":2516.684,"endTime":2519.924,"body":"If I can just get this, if I can"},{"startTime":2516.684,"endTime":2519.924,"body":"just get this person to say yes,"},{"startTime":2519.924,"endTime":2523.344,"body":"if I can just talk to this person,"},{"startTime":2519.924,"endTime":2523.344,"body":"they'll see how amazing I am."},{"startTime":2523.344,"endTime":2525.354,"body":"They'll book me on their show,"},{"startTime":2523.344,"endTime":2525.354,"body":"they'll give me all this stuff."},{"startTime":2525.354,"endTime":2529.299,"body":"I am having such an aha moment right now"},{"startTime":2525.354,"endTime":2529.299,"body":"where I'm like the Hollywood Industrial"},{"startTime":2529.299,"endTime":2534.609,"body":"complex, I think has indoctrinated our"},{"startTime":2529.299,"endTime":2534.609,"body":"American sensibilities into believing"},{"startTime":2534.639,"endTime":2539.379,"body":"the makeover montage and then the"},{"startTime":2534.639,"endTime":2539.379,"body":"one magic break, and then poof, she"},{"startTime":2539.379,"endTime":2542.229,"body":"gets the thing and then roll credits."},{"startTime":2542.274,"endTime":2545.049,"body":"She's now a success, you know, because"},{"startTime":2542.274,"endTime":2545.049,"body":"that's what we see, because that's what"},{"startTime":2545.049,"endTime":2548.229,"body":"we see again and again and again, and."},{"startTime":2548.229,"endTime":2550.089,"body":"That's not real life."},{"startTime":2550.089,"endTime":2551.079,"body":"We covered this in what?"},{"startTime":2551.079,"endTime":2552.929,"body":"Our third episode were they lucky?"},{"startTime":2553.428,"endTime":2556.638,"body":"So many times, but"},{"startTime":2553.428,"endTime":2556.638,"body":"relationships take time."},{"startTime":2556.638,"endTime":2556.818,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2556.818,"endTime":2560.598,"body":"Every single one of our guests has"},{"startTime":2556.818,"endTime":2560.598,"body":"come on here and everyone has agreed."},{"startTime":2560.598,"endTime":2561.978,"body":"Relationships take time."},{"startTime":2561.978,"endTime":2565.278,"body":"And I love that Micah even pointed out,"},{"startTime":2561.978,"endTime":2565.278,"body":"he's like, even in great relationships,"},{"startTime":2565.278,"endTime":2566.628,"body":"that person's gonna disappoint you."},{"startTime":2566.628,"endTime":2570.018,"body":"At some point in the course of the"},{"startTime":2566.628,"endTime":2570.018,"body":"relationship, it's the human experience."},{"startTime":2570.018,"endTime":2572.178,"body":"It's never going to be absolutely perfect."},{"startTime":2572.178,"endTime":2575.268,"body":"And it's definitely not"},{"startTime":2572.178,"endTime":2575.268,"body":"some movie or TV script."},{"startTime":2575.268,"endTime":2575.628,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2575.628,"endTime":2576.198,"body":"Sadly."},{"startTime":2576.198,"endTime":2581.568,"body":"Sadly, But yeah, tying up your worth"},{"startTime":2576.198,"endTime":2581.568,"body":"into some arbitrary achievement in"},{"startTime":2581.568,"endTime":2583.038,"body":"the end, you'll never be satisfied."},{"startTime":2583.038,"endTime":2584.238,"body":"Just prolong the anxiety."},{"startTime":2584.238,"endTime":2588.896,"body":"Longer than my lifespan or like,"},{"startTime":2584.238,"endTime":2588.896,"body":"how many lives are we talking about?"},{"startTime":2588.896,"endTime":2589.886,"body":"Don't like this anymore."},{"startTime":2589.886,"endTime":2593.606,"body":"the other really big thing that you"},{"startTime":2589.886,"endTime":2593.606,"body":"and I felt was worth pointing out was"},{"startTime":2593.606,"endTime":2594.836,"body":"to figure out what is good enough."},{"startTime":2594.836,"endTime":2597.596,"body":"You really loved how"},{"startTime":2594.836,"endTime":2597.596,"body":"Micah approached this."},{"startTime":2597.596,"endTime":2600.176,"body":"I did because it hadn't occurred to me."},{"startTime":2600.176,"endTime":2602.426,"body":"I'm definitely, we talked"},{"startTime":2600.176,"endTime":2602.426,"body":"about, I'm definitely a,"},{"startTime":2602.426,"endTime":2604.226,"body":"like, just jump in, both feet."},{"startTime":2604.226,"endTime":2605.096,"body":"I'm gonna do it."},{"startTime":2605.096,"endTime":2606.206,"body":"I'm gonna go big."},{"startTime":2606.206,"endTime":2608.096,"body":"I do know I always have outs."},{"startTime":2608.096,"endTime":2612.206,"body":"I'm a commitment phobe, so I always"},{"startTime":2608.096,"endTime":2612.206,"body":"have like two exits available to me."},{"startTime":2612.206,"endTime":2618.176,"body":"But I do like the idea that for people not"},{"startTime":2612.206,"endTime":2618.176,"body":"as adventurous, there are gentler ways."},{"startTime":2618.798,"endTime":2622.363,"body":"I think we get trained to force things"},{"startTime":2618.798,"endTime":2622.363,"body":"because you know, you grow up in whatever"},{"startTime":2622.363,"endTime":2624.793,"body":"family dynamic you were raised in, and."},{"startTime":2624.793,"endTime":2629.533,"body":"The little inner child version"},{"startTime":2624.793,"endTime":2629.533,"body":"of you needs so much reparenting."},{"startTime":2629.563,"endTime":2629.653,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":2629.683,"endTime":2631.333,"body":"And love and care."},{"startTime":2631.333,"endTime":2632.323,"body":"It's astounding."},{"startTime":2633.087,"endTime":2636.567,"body":"And then you go through school"},{"startTime":2633.087,"endTime":2636.567,"body":"or however, everybody has been"},{"startTime":2636.567,"endTime":2637.737,"body":"touched by some institution."},{"startTime":2637.737,"endTime":2640.107,"body":"So I don't care if you were"},{"startTime":2637.737,"endTime":2640.107,"body":"homeschooled, I don't care if"},{"startTime":2640.107,"endTime":2641.007,"body":"you went to regular school."},{"startTime":2641.007,"endTime":2642.087,"body":"Like it doesn't matter."},{"startTime":2642.087,"endTime":2645.207,"body":"I had a very like halfway"},{"startTime":2642.087,"endTime":2645.207,"body":"untraditional, schooling and"},{"startTime":2645.207,"endTime":2647.007,"body":"upbringing 'cause we traveled so much."},{"startTime":2647.007,"endTime":2650.427,"body":"But you get touched by institutions"},{"startTime":2647.007,"endTime":2650.427,"body":"at some point somewhere somehow."},{"startTime":2650.689,"endTime":2651.619,"body":"You need a job."},{"startTime":2651.649,"endTime":2655.669,"body":"You go work, you are part"},{"startTime":2651.649,"endTime":2655.669,"body":"of an institution and there"},{"startTime":2655.669,"endTime":2658.039,"body":"is a certain amount of this."},{"startTime":2658.039,"endTime":2662.899,"body":"Non-human entity needing things from"},{"startTime":2658.039,"endTime":2662.899,"body":"you that will at some point rub up"},{"startTime":2662.899,"endTime":2666.829,"body":"on you where it's like forcing you"},{"startTime":2662.899,"endTime":2666.829,"body":"' cause you're like, I'm tired today."},{"startTime":2666.829,"endTime":2667.579,"body":"I don't feel it today."},{"startTime":2667.579,"endTime":2669.949,"body":"Which is why so many of us"},{"startTime":2667.579,"endTime":2669.949,"body":"love being our own bosses."},{"startTime":2669.979,"endTime":2672.889,"body":"'cause you get to control your life"},{"startTime":2669.979,"endTime":2672.889,"body":"and your schedule and all the things."},{"startTime":2672.889,"endTime":2676.639,"body":"With that comes a whole other host"},{"startTime":2672.889,"endTime":2676.639,"body":"of other issues, which is you now"},{"startTime":2676.639,"endTime":2677.809,"body":"have to find all your clients."},{"startTime":2677.809,"endTime":2679.969,"body":"You do not get an automatic"},{"startTime":2677.809,"endTime":2679.969,"body":"paycheck every two weeks."},{"startTime":2679.969,"endTime":2682.609,"body":"You're paying all your own benefits and"},{"startTime":2679.969,"endTime":2682.609,"body":"like all the things on and on and on."},{"startTime":2682.759,"endTime":2686.119,"body":"But you do get the flexibility of being,"},{"startTime":2682.759,"endTime":2686.119,"body":"like, today I feel kind of like crap,"},{"startTime":2686.119,"endTime":2690.829,"body":"so I'm not gonna try to force myself to"},{"startTime":2686.119,"endTime":2690.829,"body":"do things, but that's not how we just"},{"startTime":2690.829,"endTime":2693.619,"body":"automatically land in that position."},{"startTime":2693.619,"endTime":2697.219,"body":"And sometimes when you're a business"},{"startTime":2693.619,"endTime":2697.219,"body":"owner, you don't have that luxury either"},{"startTime":2697.219,"endTime":2700.099,"body":"because you're like, I'm either in a"},{"startTime":2697.219,"endTime":2700.099,"body":"season where this has to be delivered or"},{"startTime":2700.099,"endTime":2702.829,"body":"that client paid me a whole bunch of money"},{"startTime":2700.099,"endTime":2702.829,"body":"and it doesn't matter how tired I am, but"},{"startTime":2702.829,"endTime":2706.519,"body":"the due date is the end of this week, and"},{"startTime":2702.829,"endTime":2706.519,"body":"it doesn't matter if it's nice weather."},{"startTime":2706.519,"endTime":2707.629,"body":"gotta get it done."},{"startTime":2707.629,"endTime":2710.899,"body":"And so you, do end up doing that,"},{"startTime":2707.629,"endTime":2710.899,"body":"but when it comes to networking,"},{"startTime":2710.899,"endTime":2715.309,"body":"because it is voluntary and nobody's"},{"startTime":2710.899,"endTime":2715.309,"body":"forcing you to do it, I think it's"},{"startTime":2715.309,"endTime":2718.759,"body":"like one of those business activities"},{"startTime":2715.309,"endTime":2718.759,"body":"where you have so much choice."},{"startTime":2718.759,"endTime":2722.689,"body":"I think that might be the slippery"},{"startTime":2718.759,"endTime":2722.689,"body":"slope that catches people because there"},{"startTime":2722.689,"endTime":2726.319,"body":"is nothing telling you or forcing you"},{"startTime":2722.689,"endTime":2726.319,"body":"that you absolutely have to be there."},{"startTime":2726.452,"endTime":2731.552,"body":"Other than maybe your internalized FOMO"},{"startTime":2726.452,"endTime":2731.552,"body":"feelings or that you think other people"},{"startTime":2731.552,"endTime":2735.872,"body":"are expecting you to be there or whatever"},{"startTime":2731.552,"endTime":2735.872,"body":"else, the notion of what is good enough"},{"startTime":2735.872,"endTime":2739.952,"body":"for you is so powerful because, like Micah"},{"startTime":2735.872,"endTime":2739.952,"body":"was saying, it could be that you go in and"},{"startTime":2739.952,"endTime":2741.842,"body":"you do a lap and you're like, in, I'm out."},{"startTime":2741.842,"endTime":2746.822,"body":"Or you make a decision about how big"},{"startTime":2741.842,"endTime":2746.822,"body":"a room you're willing to come into."},{"startTime":2746.822,"endTime":2750.182,"body":"I felt like that might be one of"},{"startTime":2746.822,"endTime":2750.182,"body":"the best, most easy, immediate"},{"startTime":2750.182,"endTime":2752.162,"body":"takeaways that somebody could take."},{"startTime":2752.162,"endTime":2755.707,"body":"From this episode, during mental"},{"startTime":2752.162,"endTime":2755.707,"body":"health month, to make sure that"},{"startTime":2755.707,"endTime":2759.277,"body":"you make it a priority to do a"},{"startTime":2755.707,"endTime":2759.277,"body":"little bit of something for you."},{"startTime":2759.277,"endTime":2762.127,"body":"It's not for other people, it's"},{"startTime":2759.277,"endTime":2762.127,"body":"for you so that your business"},{"startTime":2762.127,"endTime":2763.987,"body":"doesn't end up just being this."},{"startTime":2763.987,"endTime":2768.577,"body":"never ending, reaching for some day"},{"startTime":2763.987,"endTime":2768.577,"body":"that never comes 'cause you can't"},{"startTime":2768.577,"endTime":2770.857,"body":"find the right clients or you can't"},{"startTime":2768.577,"endTime":2770.857,"body":"find the right money or something."},{"startTime":2770.857,"endTime":2772.957,"body":"Thinking back and, and"},{"startTime":2770.857,"endTime":2772.957,"body":"listening to you explain it."},{"startTime":2772.957,"endTime":2777.067,"body":"I actually think on more reflection"},{"startTime":2772.957,"endTime":2777.067,"body":"that somebody who can go, even though"},{"startTime":2777.067,"endTime":2781.503,"body":"they're very anxious and you go in,"},{"startTime":2777.067,"endTime":2781.503,"body":"you walk the lab and you go, I actually"},{"startTime":2781.503,"endTime":2782.853,"body":"think that they're stronger than I am."},{"startTime":2782.883,"endTime":2784.623,"body":"'cause they can admit this is my limit."},{"startTime":2784.774,"endTime":2784.994,"body":"Oh."},{"startTime":2785.769,"endTime":2786.789,"body":"Oh, I know."},{"startTime":2786.939,"endTime":2787.599,"body":"Oh, that's good."},{"startTime":2787.815,"endTime":2790.785,"body":"Because I won't allow myself to,"},{"startTime":2787.815,"endTime":2790.785,"body":"like, you force yourself to go."},{"startTime":2790.785,"endTime":2793.275,"body":"I would, because I'd be like,"},{"startTime":2790.785,"endTime":2793.275,"body":"this is what normal people do."},{"startTime":2793.275,"endTime":2794.295,"body":"Everybody else can do it."},{"startTime":2794.295,"endTime":2795.015,"body":"Why can't I?"},{"startTime":2795.045,"endTime":2796.035,"body":"So I'm gonna do it."},{"startTime":2796.035,"endTime":2799.875,"body":"Oh, see, I, but I think you're strong"},{"startTime":2796.035,"endTime":2799.875,"body":"if you can be like, I am uncomfortable"},{"startTime":2799.875,"endTime":2803.415,"body":"and I'm going to honor that, but"},{"startTime":2799.875,"endTime":2803.415,"body":"I'm gonna try just a little bit."},{"startTime":2803.415,"endTime":2803.685,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2803.715,"endTime":2806.835,"body":"Where Micah said like, oh yeah, I'll"},{"startTime":2803.715,"endTime":2806.835,"body":"force myself to do it sometimes."},{"startTime":2806.845,"endTime":2809.785,"body":"We're going to encourage"},{"startTime":2806.845,"endTime":2809.785,"body":"you to go to the show notes."},{"startTime":2809.785,"endTime":2811.855,"body":"If you don't regularly"},{"startTime":2809.785,"endTime":2811.855,"body":"go to podcast show notes."},{"startTime":2811.855,"endTime":2814.795,"body":"I would just tell you that there's"},{"startTime":2811.855,"endTime":2814.795,"body":"a lot of goodies usually in that"},{"startTime":2814.795,"endTime":2816.625,"body":"little section of your podcast player."},{"startTime":2816.625,"endTime":2819.475,"body":"But in Micah's episode in"},{"startTime":2816.625,"endTime":2819.475,"body":"particular, we've got links to"},{"startTime":2819.475,"endTime":2820.585,"body":"how you can connect to Micah."},{"startTime":2820.585,"endTime":2822.685,"body":"So if you wanted to work with"},{"startTime":2820.585,"endTime":2822.685,"body":"him, you can, but also we've"},{"startTime":2822.685,"endTime":2824.665,"body":"got a link for his downloadable."},{"startTime":2824.695,"endTime":2828.655,"body":"it's a worksheet on working with your"},{"startTime":2824.695,"endTime":2828.655,"body":"nervous system in social situations."},{"startTime":2828.655,"endTime":2829.525,"body":"It's amazing."},{"startTime":2829.525,"endTime":2830.155,"body":"It's amazing."},{"startTime":2830.177,"endTime":2832.907,"body":"That's it for today's episode"},{"startTime":2830.177,"endTime":2832.907,"body":"of The Awkward Handshake."},{"startTime":2832.967,"endTime":2836.507,"body":"We record at Sasquatch Media"},{"startTime":2832.967,"endTime":2836.507,"body":"Grounds in Vancouver, Washington."},{"startTime":2836.567,"endTime":2839.597,"body":"I'm Megan, co-founder of Fat"},{"startTime":2836.567,"endTime":2839.597,"body":"Cap Design and creator of"},{"startTime":2839.597,"endTime":2841.547,"body":"PDX Spellbound, and I'm Mary."},{"startTime":2841.602,"endTime":2844.062,"body":"Founder of Sasquatch Media"},{"startTime":2841.602,"endTime":2844.062,"body":"Grounds and Sensible."},{"startTime":2844.062,"endTime":2844.332,"body":"Woo."},{"startTime":2844.392,"endTime":2848.232,"body":"You'll find links to everything we"},{"startTime":2844.392,"endTime":2848.232,"body":"mentioned, guests, resources, and ways"},{"startTime":2848.232,"endTime":2851.532,"body":"to connect with us in the show notes"},{"startTime":2848.232,"endTime":2851.532,"body":"on your favorite podcast platform."},{"startTime":2851.562,"endTime":2855.222,"body":"That's also where you'll get updates on"},{"startTime":2851.562,"endTime":2855.222,"body":"where we're headed next, and when we're"},{"startTime":2855.222,"endTime":2859.842,"body":"inviting listeners like you to join us for"},{"startTime":2855.222,"endTime":2859.842,"body":"guided networking in person and online."},{"startTime":2859.872,"endTime":2860.712,"body":"Don't be passive."},{"startTime":2860.772,"endTime":2861.582,"body":"Click the links."},{"startTime":2861.582,"endTime":2862.452,"body":"Pick better rooms."},{"startTime":2862.482,"endTime":2863.202,"body":"We'll see you there."}]}