How Do I Get Clients Through Networking?

In this episode of The Awkward Handshake, we tackle the question almost everyone asks after their third lukewarm networking event:

“Okay… but how do I actually get clients from this?”

Short answer?
 You don’t rush it. You don’t pressure people. And you definitely don’t treat humans like walking ATMs.

Long answer?
 That’s what this episode is for.

We break down what really converts conversations into clients, why networking is a long game (even when you’re doing everything “right”), and how patience, volume, and emotional intelligence matter more than the perfect pitch.

This is the episode where we get honest about pipelines, timing, consent-based follow-up, and the quiet cost of pushing people before they’re ready.

In this episode, we unpack:

• Why networking is about stacking your pipeline, not instant conversions
• The reality of modern B2B buying decisions (hint: it takes more people and more time than it used to)
• How many follow-ups is too many—and how to know when to stop
• Why “getting a yes” doesn’t mean you have a client (yet)
• The difference between curiosity and pressure (and why pressure always backfires)
• How reputation travels faster than you think in local business ecosystems
• Why “good people know other good people” is the most underrated growth strategy
• What readiness really looks like—from both sides of the table
• How networking exposes whether your offer, language, or positioning needs to evolve

We also talk candidly about:

• Avoidance, money discomfort, and why people say yes when they’re not ready
• Why likability and trust matter more than clever sales tactics
• How networking helps you test your message in real time
• When it’s time to admit you’re in the wrong room—and what to do next

If you’ve ever left an event thinking “Was that a win… or just a nice conversation?”, this episode will help you recalibrate your expectations without killing your momentum.

Keep in touch!

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Transcript

0:00

This is The Awkward Handshake, a podcast about networking business and what really happens in the room. We're unpacking the good, the bad, and the awkward, so you can build better connections and get paid. Let's get into it. we're having a hot, hot conversation today, how do I get clients through networking? Everything comes back to why am I going, why am I here? You're here because you're masochistic like the rest of us. All right, you and I were thinking about how do I get clients through networking? You and I have already digested on the first early episodes how, much you can't just. Automatically turn out paying customers through going to networking events. Like that's kind of not the point. but when it comes through, comes to getting actual leads that will convert into clients. My whole take on it has always been quantity. You need more volume. and then in my notes I said, hell, I need more volume cries in packed schedule. That's literally what's on the paper. And it would be accurate. Yours is so succinct. It's just try, try and try again. What's the secret episode? Done? We're done. Yeah. Just keep, keep doing it and keep doing it. I did hear this statistic that. I feel like a lot of us don't think about. And that is when you think of your pipeline. So if you think of how much money you want to make in a given month or a given year, and then how many clients would need to say yes, you need two to three times that many people in your pipeline because they are going to inevitably fall out. And I think that kind of speaks to this like, you know, how do I get clients? And it's like, how many times are you going out? How many people are you talking to? Because like with email open rates, like what's your conversion rate? Well, you had also found some point in the second half of 2025 in one of our many car conversations while we were tootling around town to another event. And I remember you saying that you saw some, I don't know where they got the data from that it takes. so many more people to make a B2B decision now. Yeah. So B2B decisions used to take five people to say yes. It now takes seven. And so that is within an organization, joy. So that's, you know, that's like generally HR isn't involved, but like that's getting your accountant in and like all the executive director and the vice president and like it takes all these people if you're doing B2B to say yes to you and they've added two more. And so closing deals now takes 24% longer than it used to. So how do I get clients through networking, A lot more volume. Lots of trying and also time and patience. Yes. And that, I think that's gonna be something that we talk about is, meeting somebody in networking is the first step. A lot of people forget all the next steps of you are trying to not just make this person move from, we just met to let's sign a contract. Mm-hmm. But you're trying to help them help themselves and maybe convince those other six people, you know, to say yes as well. So like how a lot of us don't think about how can I empower that person to make this process easier for them? You know, we're just like, gimme money. Yeah. The fun part is when you realize it for. Individual sales. You've gotta convince all seven personalities inside of somebody and their partner frequently. I mean, that would be a whole other podcast. It will be a whole other podcast. to talk about the whole, well, my spouse has to approve things. Mm-hmm. Because as a woman, as a a free and single woman. I have so many issues with that. I'm gonna save it for another episode. Mary's gonna park it. no, I like what you're saying because you really can't rush people through their decisions. I mean, like we say that yes, technically you can, but that's called pressure tactics. Yeah. It's also a really dick move. Zero out of 10. Do not recommend. Yeah. Don't do it. don't be that person. If you have ethics, you know, and morals, then yeah. It's not gonna, your business will not be long around long. Yes. Or you will constantly have to keep getting new people because they will tell everyone About you. The community gets small really fast. Lots of people know lots of other people. And it's amazing when you discover who knows whom. I feel like reputation, your reputation will follow you. I'm one because I just know. There's someone listening and they're like, me, pressure someone never, meanwhile, they don't realize that like they keep pestering people with like the links or the thing or the whatever. And it's like, yes, you do need to tell people, but there's also a way in which you build a relationship and like consensually tell them things. And if they haven't really fully consented or they like, thank you for the information the first time, but no more like how, I'm wondering if we can help people figure out how they, how they can figure out when they're over doing it. It, I mean, you and I talk enough, we Yes, yes. Friend it. Yes buddy it so that we can be like, am I being that person right now? But we've already established, not everybody has a yes friend. So. I'm wondering if, ' cause I don't, I am, honestly, I'm, I'm telling you, I don't have a good answer for this. Oh. I'm wondering, do you, do you have any thoughts on figuring out how to recognize if you're becoming that person who's just like, do you wanna try my Shama, do you wanna sample? Do you want another, but wait in the next 15 minutes, I could tell you Ginsu knives too. You know, like that's that, that kind of pressure. Yeah. So I think a lot of it comes down to your reasoning behind it. So are you honestly wanting to help them succeed or do you honestly just want the sale? Oh, like do you look at them like they're money on legs? Exactly. But I think too, like the practical side, because I have had what I thought were warm leads that did not go anywhere. And I would say that. You know, I always reach out a certain number of times. And I have had lots of people say, thank you so much for reaching out again. I meant to get back to you. But your email got lost. Yeah. Busy. But like, there does reach a point where I do send the email that just says, Hey, here's the thing, one more time. If you are interested, hit reply. We can set a date. Or you can just tell me like, I'm so busy, come back in three months. Mm-hmm. But if I don't hear from you, I will take, I, you will not hear from me again. Basically. Yeah. Because there reaches a point where it's like the, the one-sided chat thread. Yeah. Where you're just like, hello, Hey, you there. So like if it, if it starts to feel like that, I'd say, then, you know. Yeah. If you've sent out like four emails and heard nothing. No. Is that your limit? Is it four. I will send four. Yeah. Oh, you're good. Well, I, it's over like a month, so like you're Oh. Even better. Wow. You're so, you're so good. I'm like, one email and a follow up and I'm like, peace out yo. Yeah. So sometimes I'll go as long as three and it comes from having, it comes from a, a background in trying to get wholesale shops. Oh, they are notoriously, I mean, retail shop owners are so busy. Mm-hmm. They've got so many people emailing them. All the time. They got product and everything moving and so it's like that initial, it's two weeks later. It's a month after that. It's three months after that. And if I haven't heard anything, then we go, so with these, like if I really want it, yeah. It's probably four emails over like a one to two month period. Oh, that's so, and then interesting again, if I still think like you're the customer, but you're just not seeing it yet, I will like. Put you on a back burner list. Uhhuh to like six months from now. I will check on where you are. cause maybe they're just not big enough yet. But like I really like what they're doing. I'll put them on like a back burner list and like I will go check on them. Like I will stalk The LinkedIn. And then reach out again with a personalized email that says, congratulations, I heard that you're opening this, or you just landed this. And like, that's so cool. We were chatting back in the day. If you're still interested in doing X, you know, I'd love a coffee chat. You're inspiring me. Maybe to send one additional, maybe one, two is not enough, two gets lost. I would say three is kind of the minimum. I have this thing where I'm like, if you lose me within those two, it's just not the right timing and then I just move forward. I think this is, I hope somebody's listening and they're realizing that There's no set way. No. And a lot of it house also has to do with your own patience level. Well, I think you and I see things. I think you are like, like you said, it is not the right time. Like you are. The universe is telling me this is not the right time. Totally. I am the control freak who's like, I want it. Give it to me. I'm coming for you. And so it's like I want to stay in the control seat and so I am gonna come back to you. I'm not trusting you to come back to me, I'm gonna come back to you. But I appreciate the free spiritedness and the abundance thinking of like, come forth, you weren't for me. And I'm like, I'm coming for you later. I'm like, think you're safe. Bless and release. That's why I cry and packed schedule because I'm like, gotta get back out there. We also talked about, just diversifying the ways in which you network to seek clients through different means. So like, if you're only going to online events, every world gets small very fast. Yeah. And you can end up just circling around the same water coolers over and over with the same people and wondering how come my network never seems to expand? Well, it's, there's a reason for that. And so finding networking in unexpected places, whether it is through doing just online visibility efforts, like through social media, obviously we would definitely vote for doing in-person local things because there's so much business locally, unless what you're offering is just so not local. But I don't think I've ever met anybody where that local doesn't apply. No.' cause there's something that you'll want Yes. That can be found. And also good people know other good people. We're gonna talk about that. you had an interesting take on six degrees of Kevin Bacon. Yeah. I found that a lot of times the universe is very cheeky with me. And so like, I'll be in a conversation and my internal dialogue is I have picked, I have picked the wrong person in the room to be chatting with, and I'm like scoping out, like, how do I lose this guy so I can find another one? And then they'll drop a nugget of like, oh, I know this person. And I'll be like, how the hell wait? you know, so and so, and like I could access from you? And they're like, sure, like I should introduce you. And so I found that I need to stop assuming. Right. You cannot make any assumptions.'cause people know the weirdest people. Like it could be like, yeah, so and so like, they walk my dog or they're my hairdresser. Yep. And so I've stopped making assumptions and I've just, it's kind of seen everybody as like a weird little like treasure hunt. Oh, you like that? So you just get curious and you're like, but you kind of know some, there's something that I can find of interest. Yes. In this conversation. I think the big red flag is when you treasure hunt with somebody and you discovered that they know nobody, that's when you're like, and then you're like, oh no, you were the runaway. Runaway. Nevermind. You're like, you do exist. They have no friends. we've been batch recording in the studio on the day that we're recording this episode actually, and we've been having conversations with guests who will be coming on. It's amazing how much, being uncomfortable has been coming up. And that was one of your notes for this episode, which I think is so fascinating. Yeah. I mean, I, I think in terms of like trying to get clients, you are going to be using these experiences as ab testing grounds. And so you're gonna try out your little, I help so and so do so and so. And kind of like a standup, you're gonna watch it land really well sometimes and you'll be like, oh, that was good. And you're gonna see some responses that you weren't expecting. Where they're like, but you do what? Or, oh, do you mean this? And you're like, I did not mean that in any way. Like, how did you get there? And I think you have to be uncomfortable with, I don't wanna say looking like you don't know what you're doing. But feeling like, oh my God, what are they thinking? I can't even explain what I do properly because they're not understanding. I'm terrible at explaining what I do. I think I accepted that a few years ago. I used to feel like, so I feel like I used to feel like such a fraud where I was like, why is everybody else have this crafty B and i statement? And I just can't tell you what I do. And I, I, at some point I was like, eh, fuck it. You're just gonna have to stand here and I hope it's a good drink.'cause I'm gonna talk your ear off for like five minutes. You do go off, I guess. I like it. Explain what I do. I use that moment. If we're together, I'm like, and scan the room. Mary's gonna be a while. I'll just, I'm buying you time. I'll just wait. I'm buying you time to scan the room. But it's very uncomfortable. I mean, I would say that we have noticed. How many other people are deeply uncomfortable. And I think sometimes when you're so busy being wrapped up in your discomfort that you forget that everyone else is feeling just as awkward as you at this thing. and they're having this, thought go through their head like, how long until I get a client? You know, like, who in here could possibly be a client for me? Like, can I get some business out of this today? there's no, like, you would not go to a networking event to be like, I'm just here for the vibes. Like, if you want vibes, you go to the spa. Like you don't go to a networking event. Yeah. And I think first there's always this uncomfortableness too, of like when we're vibing, right? Mm-hmm. And I've told you what I do, and they're kind of curious and you're like, do I get on my card now? Do I ask for copy chat now? Do I Do we book a call now or like, or. Or do we just LinkedIn and like, I'll get back to you. I think that's also that kind of like uncomfortableness and we have been in the rooms with so many people where Oh, all around us. It will, it will sound like people are like, we should totally work together. Why don't you give me your info? And you're just like, oh, that'd be nice. I don't know if this is happening. I'm over here making little noises. Like, that's what's going on in me internally while I sit there. Like uhhuh uhhuh. I think you're right. Like, don't count your wins until something really happened. It moves forward. Yeah. That was, that was one of your final warmup notes was like, until a contract is signed, like it's just a connection. Like Stop trying. Yeah. Stop trying to make it be something that's, oh, you know what? There you go. Everything does go back to dating because this is like when you go on a bad date and they start talking about like, getting married and you're like, whoa, it's coffee. It's coffee. Yes. Like, this is why I don't date. Yeah.'cause we've had so many, we've, we've gone to events with people and they will walk out and they'll be like, I just got three clients. And we're like, did you, did you, I didn't. No, they got three. Where's the contract? They got three coffee checks. That's not, that's not a client. And two, probably Flake and like Uhhuh. And we do hear those stories later where they're like, oh, then they didn't follow up. it, it's sort of like a. An unfortunate reality check. And people, and some people are very, very good at masking. You know, we're gonna talk about neurodivergence in this season. and some people are very good at appearing one way because socially we expect people to socialize in a particular way. And you learn what the cues are and you learn to smile and nod and shake hands and kiss babies and all the things. But when it comes time to doing business, though, that is not the person. And then they struggle and, and so sometimes you just don't know until you have the discovery call after. But I, you know, I can't think of any networking event I walked out over. I was like. We're already setting up a discovery call. No, that's never happened. it's usually somebody knows somebody really great that I do need to get in contact with for referrals probably. Or we're gonna have a coffee chat because we genuinely do get along really, really well. And you can tell it would just be a good connection to have. Yeah. Maybe we are interested in working with each other at some point, but those signed contracts take time to get to, and especially in this day and age, I've watched it, I've watched you do it. It's months. Months, totally months. Three At a minimum, I'd say, oh, for sure. I think you're pushing more. Four. Oh yeah. It feels like it's pushing more four or five at this point. And I don't see that changing anytime soon. The world is very uncertain right now and people are very stressed out right now as we all are. And people are being more prudent and they're just not. dumping money and, and places damage. But I would argue even in the before times that we, you know, are idolizing weirdly in the rear view mirror right now, and they were never really perfect either. That the amount of work somebody's done to get themselves to the point of being ready to make an investment, like you have no idea how many other conversations they've had or how many other service providers they've talked to or anything else before the point at which they met you to then have been warmed up and primed. Meanwhile, you're warming up and priming somebody else for another service provider, you know? Yeah. Like you, you have no idea, and the person in front of you doesn't even know where they're at in that journey. And so it really is just being, being a kind human, what I think. Being authentically yourself.'cause you mentioned Yeah. You know how sometimes you get on the call and they're completely different. Yes. They catfished you. Oh God. So we're changing our podcast. It's a business dating podcast. Yep. Well, we did break down, this whole theme of like, how do we get clients through networking into some more easily digestible segments? And the first one that we pulled out was a readiness factor. What we're hoping is that this talk around readiness helps the listener. You, you, I'm looking at you right now with the headphones on, to think about how you would part with your own money because it's a leap of faith. You had reminded me before we record that we had had a conversation sometime last year I think, where I was like, yeah, but if you're not willing to spend that amount of money, why would somebody spend that with you? Yeah. And I was like, oh, I wouldn't spend that amount of money. I'm gonna be honest. And, and then as we were discussing it, just to get ready for the episode today, I had to think about it a little bit more and I thought it doesn't mean that you have to spend all that money to be ready to have readiness, no emotional readiness factor, but you do have to figure out your emotions around money. And money's a very complex thing for everybody. Yeah. People come into light, into their adult lives with a lot of money, trauma that gets passed down. You don't even realize half of the shit that gets passed down to you from like, whoever raised you. Yeah. and sometimes that goes back generations. Generations. I think one thing is it's not about, just about like, yes, I have spent, let's say$5,000 on something for business, so I'm so ready to spend that just drop of a hat. Mm-hmm. But I think thinking about what you offer, thinking about the price point and then taking that into consideration of how do I need to hold someone's hand, or what systems do I need to build so that they feel supported through the steps of making that decision. Yes. So not just showing the value, but being like. I joined a program once and it was only $2,000, but that was a huge amount to me, and the woman knew it. Mm-hmm. So she's like, she would send like things in the mail, like we got like a little voodoo doll of her.'cause she's like, you're gonna hate me by the end of this, so I wanna send you this. Um, but it's like acknowledging this is a big investment. I'm so excited to do this with you. Yeah. But I know how much this took to get you to here, and like, I'm excited, I wanna do this with you. And so I think instead of just being like, why won't you spend $5,000 with me? It's like, did you make it feel. You actually care Also, can we point out how, this point we're talking about how far away from networking? Yeah. This is, this is like months down the line and like, 'cause you and I both know, I mean, we've walked into situations where we wish this was like the day after the networking event. That is the dream. We've never had it. Never ever. and we interact with enough people and now we lead networking events where we do see people walk into the room kind of thinking they're hoping you, you, it's literally written all over to days, faces days, the day I'm gonna get my $10,000 client. that is many, many weeks if not months of conversations. Yeah. I think we have to start. The bar needs to like come way down. It's one of the few bars that are too high to come way down to just, I hope I get to have a nice conversation with someone today. I, you know, I think of it like, who do I like in this room? Oh. Because when you think about it, I hope I like someone in this room. I like someone, do I bring the bar down even further? Yeah. Yeah. Because, because when you think about doing work with somebody, and of course I'm speaking from the perspective as a service provider who works with people over a sustained period of time. I, at the time of this recording, I have nixed hourly recordings in the studio and everything like, was, was just, yes, thank you, woo. Doing the, it was interrupting too much flow. And, um, it, you know, just the ROI on it for the studio is, is not high enough. Like either you're doing a retainer package or you're not. So, um, well you valued. Those connections. Yes. Too much the the bigger connections. Yes. Basically, you want to help so much. I do that. You can't offer that with the hourly and thus No. And, and hourly people usually need extra and then they start asking. It's like, but you didn't pay for that. And actually there's literally not time in this container to help you with that because that is actually a multi-week problem, not a 30 minute problem. so when I walk into a networking room, I'm thinking, do I like this person? Because like even when I was in my corporate career and I was managing people on teams. When you hire people, yes, they need to have the skills and everything, but like 90% of the decision at the end of the day is, do we like this person to spend eight hours or plus more, especially on a tech team. If we have to come in on a Sunday and work all day together looking like potatoes and crawl under desks and shit, do we like this person enough to sit around and order Domino's Pizza with them or not? Yeah. And if the answer was, I can't stand their personality, it's a no. It's like, you can be absolutely brilliant, but if you have no winning personality, if you're, you're not friendly or whatever, you know, people don't wanna work with you. And so when I, when I go into a networking room, I really think like. I give people a lot of grace for feeling awkward.'cause I also feel awkward, but we've made connections before in ways Yeah. That are so surprising and wonderful. We were just talking about one of our new favorite people that we met recently. there's a very marked difference between a connection like that where you see them and you instantly are like, your face lights up and you're like, hello? And there's a hug. And I am not always a big hugger, but I'm like, hugs for you. You know? And that's one of my tests where I'm like, if I feel like giving you a hug, we can get along and, yeah. And I, and I wonder how many people walk into their networking rooms. Thinking that.'cause they're just like, who's gonna pay me? Who's gonna pay? I mean, but that gets into like money desperation and there's stuff going on there too that's Yes. Related to other things. That was in the last room we in, oh God, that room this week. So hard. What do you think about people saying yes in terms of readiness? Yeah, I mean like, 'cause occasionally you will have somebody at a networking event who says yes to something that you offer. Whether that is, do you wanna chat more? you know, do you wanna have coffee day? Do you wanna exchange cards? Accept it, but know, it might change. it's going to change. The coffee date will will never happen. They will always be busy. They'll always be sick. There will always be a family emergency. Like I hate it when that happens. It's so annoying. It's like, why did you say yes? Just say no. Just I know. Exactly. Don't, don't lead me along. I can't Like dating, there's another girl, you watched me decline somebody just this week they asked if I was going to be at this event that they're hosting and I had a decline because I mean, it's a genuine decline. Yes. Mine was not. I made mine up, but, but at least, but at least I wasn't dragging here long. I just was like, yeah, no, but I can't tell you no because I don't want to go. But I can just say I'm busy. You can, you can, like, I think that's appropriate. I think it's appropriate to be like, oh, I don't have time for chat right now. I'm actually all full up. oh, yeah, yeah. No, that's fine. I, I, I think that that's appropriate. I mean maybe we do need to be more honest with each other because it just market research to be like, I don't think that's a good fit for me, or it's not really something I'm interested in. I love that you're doing it, but I'm not interested. Thank you for the offer to have a coffee date. Oh, is this our goal for 2026? I kind of like, I think we might have to, I think women are trained to be very polite. Yeah. And you know, as I was thinking about it, like you are just kind of kicking the can down the road. Like you meet them at the next event and they're gonna be like, you wanna do it again? And be like, ah, what do I say now? No. So yeah, maybe we just have to be, we have to put on our mediocre white man cape and just be like. Not interested. I don't think we have to do it to that extent, but I do like this, I do like this notion of like having been trained to be agreeable and to have a certain decorum and like be a good little lady and like smile and nod and you can still be polite and kind and you can still just be honest. I mean, maybe I am feeling a little bit fortunate at the moment where 2026 has kicked off and you have been watching me in like a two week timeframe. Go from, I think I have some time to, like Mary has negative time. Like I literally don't have time and a and a message landed in my inbox from somebody who got my card at this event. We went to on, this, past week. And he's like, here's my calendar link. Let's have a chat. I was just gonna ask if you got that one too, because I did and I was like, sorry buddy. I don't have time for like, I literally don't have time for a random chat anymore. So like we Were you interested though? Mildly, but not enough Yeah. To have the chat. At least not right now. Yeah, and I think he could be invited to one of our, networking events at some point in the future. I think that would be an appropriate container. we were chatting earlier today when we were recording a guest spot with our friend Nedra, who's gonna be on a future guest spot. And I was saying that I think this year is going to bring me into a space of hosting a lot more coffee open house parties, like I did, I experimented with last year. And because I just literally don't have the time, like I have hit a stage and founder life. Where the numbers we added up that we talked about. I'm like, that was so great for last year Achievement unlocked. Yeah. Like I went through the little pipe in Mario Land and I like went to the next world and you know, and I, and I'm really busy swimming my way across it right now, and it's like, unless you are doing some much higher level collab with me, it's honestly really kind of hard. I'm literally on planes again this year and I'm literally not, I'm not not available for a chat. So for somebody listening who's like, oh, like what if I run into that? Not, not from being you, but from being the person asking you Yeah. Like, like how do I get, how do I get to Mary then. I, if you have anything on that. I, I think it comes down to, I think sometimes you meet people, because I have met people who are way above my weight class already this year, in the first three weeks of January. And I'm like, they don't have time for me. like if I need something or I wanna chat with them, there better be a really darn good reason for it. It needs to, this ask needs to be really specific. Yeah. And because they have told you, yes, I want to help you. Yes. And I will take the time. Yes. But you're correct in that. Your time is very valuable and you don't want to abuse The connection. Correct. And then you and I have talked previously about some of the people that we would like to reach. We, us fully recognizing that those people are not in these networking rooms. Yep. They are busy. They don't have the time. They're tired at the end of the day and going to a very loud room. That room is so loud, is not on the list of priorities. No. They don't need to. And they don't need to be there. And so I do think that this becomes a year. It's so ironic that we have a networking podcast now, and I'm like, and I think I'm gonna bounce out of a lot of networking events. This is the last episode and we're done. So really fast first I think like if the question is like, how, what do you do when you're on the other side and you're like, oh, I really wanna reach that person. I think it's rare that we find them in our, in our networking rooms. I do. And, and when we do, it's probably gonna be at like a conference or some kind of like paid event where there's thought leadership going on, like genuinely. And once that happens, then it's up to you to like find a way to build a relationship with 'em. You know, I was just at a paid speaking gig and like all the attendees had a lot of opportunity to interact with us as speakers and they were great connections. And as a speaker, there's a couple people I wanna follow up with because there were some things that we talked about collaborating on. There were other people who wanted my time and attention, and a whole bunch of them did not have cards on them. What, so I have the attendee list. So there's some people were like, I can find them in the list. Like I could email them. The ones who need to talk to me. Guess what have already emailed me. Yeah. And the other one. So maybe, yeah, they're gonna have to take initiative to reach out because I am not desperate for their business or money or connection. But if they really want me, like they have to show that they need to come forward. And I think that's kind of what starts happening. Yeah. Which is a, a weird place to be.'cause I feel like I've been, I, I feel like I've been on the other side of the table for a very long time. Yes. And to anyone listening who's like, oh shit, it sounds like the people I want aren't even in any room. Like what's the point? You know? I do think everybody, I. Needs to kind of cut their teeth in these rooms. Yes. And you will learn for yourself. It's very possible that your audience is there. For some people it's not. And you, you don't figure it out until you really go Yes. And learn. but I think making human connections is still like you have a lot of friends who have become friends Yes. From meeting them at events like this. Yes. And some become clients and friends, but like you, you do make time for the ones who make time for you. Mm-hmm. And so I think if you do want to, you know, even get clients, it is how do I take an interest in that person? Yes. And good people know other good people. Yeah. Like how many times have we and we see them again and because we're consistent. Yep. And we have been there, they know us, they trust us, there's recognition, they trust us and then they're like, you know what? I just met this person. You need to meet them. That has happened so many times. Yep. And I think you're totally right. Like there's a certain amount of paying your dues and cutting your teeth and dare I say it yet again, social skills. Like you gotta do the reps. Yep. If you don't have a robust social life, this for I think a lot of business people is a way to get in that exercise. Mm-hmm. Social exercise. it's useful in that sense. But I also think like in-person events, um, as a lot of people are predicting, are gonna make a really big comeback again starting this year. And that's not just our local I. Regular networking groups, but also conferences and summits and things like that. So, alright, so let's move on. Um, let's talk about our other, our other big category that goes along with how do we get clients through networking. and just talking about the cost of inaction because we are wondering if this helps our listeners, who are sitting in a cost of an action with say, something you offer for sale or I offer for sale to be able to use their own experience and think about it in terms of what other people would buy from them. Because the whole notion of getting clients from networking is to get paid. we're really talking about like dealing with your own avoidance. Ouch. I mean, I have plenty of my own avoidance. I'm, I will admit it freely. Yeah. I mean, I think it's easy from like when, when you start chatting people up at a networking event and you, if you're actively listening, you can hear the little, like the not alarm bells, but like the keywords come out, you know, when they're like, I'm too busy for X or I just need help with this, or this is the problem. And you're like, I know exactly what you need. This is what I do. And you tell them. And then nine times outta 10 they're like, nah, I think I just need like ads, is what I hear all the time. Is like, no, no, I just, I just need to buy some ads. I'm like, great. Or we could just light the money on fire and watch it.'cause that's wonderful entertainment too. Ads not equal sign fan base ads, no ads don't equal much. unless you have a fan base, but. I think it's, it has been for me, this very frustrating last, honestly, like two and a half years of watching people sit in inaction. Yeah. And me trying to force them to change. But in the words of Amanda Palmer, like it doesn't hurt enough. they're not ready. I can't move them. But sometimes, like you were sharing a technique it did move the needle a little, which is to use examples of, not to say what I do, but what I've helped somebody else achieve. Especially if I can weave it into what they want to do. Yeah. So like, I helped so and so do this, which is the same thing that you say that you want to do. Yeah. Then they can kind of, oh, that's, I could achieve X if I worked with you. It's something that they've kind of already told me that sometimes can shift them a little bit. But if you just come out and tell them what you do, they are just not ready. Usually not. And they just don't, usually not. Okay. This is my hot take on that, because the first interaction is just the first interaction. Okay. Yeah. And the second interaction is also just a second interaction. You don't know anything about them yet. No. And so like your repeated presence showing up over like literally your face Yeah. In front of the, their face. Yeah. Reminds them, oh shit, I still didn't do it. Mm-hmm. Because we've been going to networking events and now that I've got keys to the studio, you know, everybody's like, oh, I wanna start a podcast. Oh, I wanna do, and I'm like, I'm sure you do also, yes. Smart strategy, but. they won't do it. Right. They won't take action even on a small thing, like even just subscribe to my newsletter and they still haven't done it. Yeah. But then they'll see my face again and they'll be like, oh my God, I see your face. And it reminded me I still didn't do the thing. Like they've literally said it out loud. And I see people do that with you When it comes to the fan base stuff, they don't really have the language for it yet. No, but I see them do it and like the human just humans are so interesting. Yes. You'll do anything but the thing that will help you, well, like writers notoriously have like the cleanest homes That's so true. Because we just were like, I should be writing. And you're like, but that thing over there is gonna me, I'll go do that. but yeah, humans are like, the solution is there. It could be wrapped in a bow. You could give the best spiel. They're not ready in a networking event. They're still not ready. Even if they say they're not lying, but they're not telling the truth either. They're not being honest with themselves. Fair. that is exactly what's happening. you had written a note when it comes to the cost of inaction that I thought was really cool, that if somebody has a yes friend, they can kind of buddy up on this and wing woman for each other on this. but when you were, 'cause I think, I don't think you're alone, Megan. I think that you are serving as a real life example to a lot of our listeners when the people you're talking with don't really have language for what it is that you do. and the way the world functions just keeps shifting so dramatically that there's all these new things that didn't used to be a big thing. And to talk about building a fan base instead of just. Social media marketing, you know, is Yeah, because it's more specific. Yep. Because you're like, I just need a marketer and you're not it. Exactly. and you and I started trying this thing where I was like, just use me, use me shamelessly, you know, because like, you put me in your pilot and you really helped me get unstuck when it came to getting the studio. And you started saying, well, like Mary, here, I helped her do whatever. And so, you know, if you can use like a real life example instead, sometimes that gives you some associated credibility too, where it's like, no, I don't just say I do something. Like I actually have done something for someone. I'm wonder how much more. Even good or useful. My grammar's just disintegrating in my mouth while I'm talking. But I'm wondering how much more good or useful that will be this year for someone like you and for other people who are like you too. Because I feel like I have finally crossed, crossed over a threshold in what I do where I can say like, podcast and YouTube's for business. And people go, oh yeah. and like they understand why. Yeah. I think too, like, ours was a unique case where we had actually helped each other. Yeah. If you have a wing person and you don't work together, I think they're your hype man. Mm-hmm. Because there's still this thing where like, especially for women, like they don't wanna brag too much to letting the other person, and you and I do this for each other all the time because you would be like, oh, I got asked to speak at this thing and I'd be like. Oh, just this thing. It's, it's this, you know, like, or like, oh, but remember who you had in your studio last week? Yes. And like, let me flex for you. Yeah. And then you get to look like, oh, it's such a small thing. I didn't even think about that. Right. Like, I have so many of those big clients. I forgot about that one that came in. but I get to be all excited. And I think from then the potential client's view, it's like, okay, they're humble, very nice. They know what they're doing. And also like they have a really good support system that Yeah. Like their friend's out there hyping 'em up. I have another hot take. Okay. She just lunged forward for the, like, I'm having this, oh my God, I had aha moment. I think it's when we meet other people that clearly don't exist in a vacuum. Yeah, you wanna be a part of that because I think so many entrepreneurs feel like they exist in a vacuum, and I would argue a lot of them actually do. so when you meet other people who clearly are operating in community, yes, it's a very attractive thing. But also it's something that everybody needs and there's enough to go around. So the people who are not existing in a vacuum, you, me and a whole bunch of people we know, we're not like, oh no, you cannot come join us. You know? But there is sort of this like, yeah, you can totally come hang out, but you gotta put yourself on your own two feet and walk over there yourself. I cannot push you in the cart for you. You know? and there was actually quite a lot of people who were like, can you gimme a ride? Can you just carry me on your back? And you're like, sorry, boo. No, we're, we're moving pretty fast. I think people, when they see us. Especially women, I think they get jealous that they're there alone. Yeah. And you and I are there together and like to have a friend who will come, who will do this, who will be your hype man. And I think then when they talk with you, they're like, if I worked with Mary, I'd also get Megan, you know, like yes, I could be a part of this friend group. Yes. And I think they can paint that picture. So, you know, find a yes friend. You do. and then you can all be cl girls together. Yes. Friends are amazing. But that also requires you showing up for that Yes friend. Yes. Which, you know, but you also have to shop for your clients. So like, it's not, you have to show up for a lot of people. You just have to show up. Didn't we talk about this in an episode already? To care? Yeah, to care. Well, we also talked about, bringing forward the theme about the power of referrals through networking. just to expand the idea of like, possibility of what's possible through networking. Because an expansive mindset is gonna help you take those connections you make on that first round and sift through them faster and more easily, and with a lot less emotional angst. Actually take action and do something. but yeah, we keep bringing this up. Well, I, I know I keep bringing it up. Good people hang out with other good people. I, I just think like birds of a feather flock together and I think that in the time period we're in, at the moment when we're recording, the world is a dumpster fire and people really need to know that. You have the same values and that they can be safe with you. I mean, literally safe. Yeah. and some, there's something to be said about being one of the people who shows up. Yeah. And, and literally, and with consistency, there's, like you said, there's a trust factor there. Yeah. It's so subtle, but also so important.'Cause I think there's also fake connectors. Like they're, there are, I don't think I know. There we, we've met them. Yeah. there's one too. Yeah. Whether intentionally or not Yes, are fake connectors. But I, I think you're right, that like good people do know good people, and especially if you get to know them, then you can trust their referrals. and what I've found is that a lot of times the person that you're talking with might know the person that you want to actually talk with. Yeah. And so it's like, again, just like being present enough and caring enough to just let them to listen to them. And then you don't, you never know like what little nuggets bill drop.'cause you and I both have had met people and we're just like, wait, you know who. How like, or you know, like you're, you met so and so to coffee shop. Like, okay, which coffee shop? Tell Or, or they went to something and they're like, yes, yeah, this thing happened. And maybe it's small. Maybe they don't promote a lot, maybe they don't need to promote a lot. And you're like, wait, you went to what? Where is that? Yeah. How do I go to that? I have had this, and I'm, I think you have too, where we've maybe gone to an event, been authentically ourselves, been kind chatted with somebody that when we left we were like, that's not gonna go anywhere. Oh, well. And then gotten a LinkedIn message the next day where they're like, thank you so much for chatting with me. I actually know someone Yes. That I think you should talk with. Yeah. And you were like, that never came up in the talk. Nope. But because you were kind. And just, and you didn't treat them like a walking ATM flight and you were just honestly interested in what they were doing. You, you know, you showed interest. At least there've been a few conversations where it goes over my head, but for the tech world, but I make enough uhhuh noises. I'm nod my head enough that they're like, oh, she was really interested, you know? Yeah. that they're like, by the way, you should meet this person and let me make an introduction. And you're just like, okay. Yeah. I had no idea that was, the universe is like, good job, gold star. You know, you were a good human. You made their day as a thank you. That's a thank you. We have a pride experience. It's interesting when we hit sat down to hit record on this episode, I did not think that I would walk away after processing words out loud. I don't think, I thought I would walk away thinking the whole theme is how do you be a better human? It it really is. Yeah. Because you just won't, you won't get a client that first time. Yes. It's just not, it's not to say networking doesn't get you clients, it's just that you have to be human and it's gonna take time and it's gonna take work and it's gonna take being interested in them and supporting them before they make that decision. And it might be a long timetable. Sometimes it is and And that's why you gotta stack the pipeline. You do need to stack your pipeline. Well, we have final hot takes to help. Ourselves and everyone else with figuring out how do I get clients through networking. I literally wrote down, I feel like such a Debbie downer because my question for all of us to ask ourselves constantly is, how much is your offer really worth? And do people really like you? Because we hire people we like and we buy things that we actually need. And if you're constantly coming up dry on connections, at some point you have to do some deeper digging and ask yourself, what is really going on here? Let's pretend you are in an industry that is super disrupted by AI. I would say media's completely disrupted by, by AI too. and for me to give old timelines on show pre-production. Yeah. To not teach people how to fish a little bit more for themselves using tools that can help them, like think through their ideas better, but still charge them these crazy, like, what, what? And so like I, like I've had to do a lot of that reflection too. And I think that you have to ask yourself like, what is going on with my offer? Because if people are just not biting or they're not, they're not wanting to talk with me more about what I do, or you don't get those follow up emails like we've gotten, which is like, you know what, like thanks so much for talking to me. I have this friend you need to meet. Like, yeah, here they are. I think you have to ask yourself those questions. Yeah. And I, I mean I had similar ones, which is like, is what you're offering needed? because a lot of times you don't know until you actually talk. To people because you build the thinking. Yeah, yeah. This is great. But then if they can't connect the dots, then maybe the language isn't right. Maybe the price point isn't right, you're not conveying the value the right way. But networking can help you with all of that. sometimes you do have to come to the conclusion that Yeah, what I'm, it's never gonna sell. Yes. Yeah. And that's a really hard bandaid to rip off, you know? To be like, oh, that's not, I have to go back to the drawing board. but it's not worth it to just keep pushing that boulder, you know, and trying over and over when it becomes clear, like you said, if people aren't connecting with you, if people aren't sharing referrals, if people aren't doing, like there's something in your story that is not connecting, there's, you're not showing up. Yeah. Authentically enough. Yeah. Interestingly enough. You know, like, or you don't show interest in them. and I think too, like recognizing like how ready are people. for what you have to offer. And if they're not ready, is it in your power to help them be ready? Which is like, I've seen people do those free, like I'm doing a little like There's some people who need to educate first, right? Yes. So the field has changed. I need to educate you. Like we were talking with somebody about like, SEO's dead. but people still are like, I need SEO. And they're like, no, you don't, but I need to educate you on why you don't and what this new thing is and why. Here's how my services have changed. Well, this gets into a topic, which I know we have parked on our spreadsheet for future episode, like halfway through the season. But the question this in introduces the question of, am I in the right room? Yes. Like, are these right people? If these are the right people, like do I need to figure out how to gain access to the people who are ready? Yep. If I'm not in the business of education. Yep. And yeah, then I need to go hire. And how do you do that? And where is that? And that's, that is a journey. Yeah.'cause we've met so many people who are like, well, I wanna meet people in leadership positions. And I'd be like, great. They're not in this room. No. They are at home with their wine cellar. Like they got their feet up, they're busy and first class being flown out to a speaking gig right now. Like they're, but you are going to every single event in this city. They're not here. No. No. How many more do you wanna go to or you realize, or do you have to adjust what it is that you do? Yes. So those are like big questions, but networking can help you answer them because you can see in real time what people respond to and how that might be our most not favorite answer. I know. Because the whole premise of this episode was, how do I get clients? And it's like. A, it's not easy. Quantity and quantity. Try and try again. Stack your pipeline. Have a lot of conversations. And what, what was it? It wasn't, don't go in wanting to have a good conversation. The bar was even lower. It was, do I like this person? There you go. Do I like this person? Walk into the room saying, I hope I like someone here. Yeah. Because nothing's worse than having a pet. A client. PITA client is a pain in the ass. Client. PITA. You don't want a pet, a client. No. And if you rush someone through, they will become a P client. They will become a PITA client. Right? Pass. Yeah. Or if you catfish them, oh, they'll become a Petita client. Or they could catfish you. Yeah. You wanna make sure you don't do that. That's it for today's episode of The Awkward Handshake. We record at Sasquatch Media Grounds in Vancouver, Washington. I'm Megan, co-founder of Fat Cap Design and creator of PDX Spellbound, and I'm Mary. Founder of Sasquatch Media Grounds and Sensible. Woo. You'll find links to everything we mentioned, guests, resources, and ways to connect with us in the show notes on your favorite podcast platform. That's also where you'll get updates on where we're headed next, and when we're inviting listeners like you to join us for guided networking in person and online. Don't be passive. Click the links. Pick better rooms. We'll see you there.